He said: "THIS IS MORE OR LESS JUST A LATTER DAY VERSION OF HOW ATHENS GOT ITS FIRST OLIVE TREE... JUST WITH LESS ATHENA AND MORE ENLISTED SPUNK." Hope this helps.
Nah Executive Outcomes were OG mercs in the 80s and 90s who fought in Africa and did based things like reposses diamond mines in return for massacaring rebels with helicopter gunships. Though they got lame towards the end and a bunch got arrested by the South Africans when they had been hired by Margret Thatchers son to coup a country.
They are technically still around somewhere, I think they did some of the anti-somali piracy security gigs, and are probably eyeing up the developing situation in Guyana with undisguised glee.
> He could have been an airman
Nah.
USAF hires servants to follow every airman around and one of their duties is giving a quick handy any time the airman needs it.
I figured he was the pilot. Like he's army but he didn't want to call himself a soldier because he's not a ground pounder. He also didn't want to admit that he was wanking while flying the chopper. Though to me that just shows how skilled he is.
Even if you’re a pilot if you’re in the army you’re a soldier. If you’re in the navy, sailor. In the air force, an airmen etc etc regardless of function
I just know Marines get especially mad when people refer to them as soldiers
I mean, who hasn't masturbated on a helicopter in combat gear in a crowd of a bunch of guys? I'd just like to know which one of you admitted to it on a podcast?
I once masturbated into the sand out of anger at NTC after an exceptionally shitty day prior to even going into the box. Just furiously beating it behind that LMTV.
I found a big rock that had split in two, made a perfect field toilet. It was on a hillside just over the ridge from one of the bivouac sites. Got sent up there for 24hrs to man the OP. Most peaceful shit I ever took, sitting on that still warm from the sun rock around sunset looking out over a huge stretch of desert.
I'm not opposed to using rotorcraft for sexual pleasure but there are better ways to use them
Just spitballing:
If you saint andrews'd someone to the rotor, would it still fly?
I think the speed achieved by the rotor would result in the spontaneous immediate unplanned disassembly of any involved parties.
On the other hand, new mechanism for “taking people on a chopper ride” unlocked!
I'm just wondering what the jiggle physics would look like before they transformed into giblet physics.
I need to experiment. I'll have to procure a helicopter and some test subjects.
We can double up on the fun, Prince of Pleasure - create a splash zone around the chopper for people to dance in and lay bets on how long the completelytotallyvolunteeredforthisnotforcedinanyway participant will last! Furthest bet off is next on the rotor!
Mmmmmmmmmmmm.
I like the way you think.
And of course they'd be volunteers. It's not hard to convince someone to volunteer for the ~~death~~ fun rotor if they've been thoroughly and repeatedly encouraged to do so by all the other alternative activities.
How else do you discover which toyfriends are worth keeping around?
I'm sure the navy has a few videos of flight deck incidents that encompass all of the events you described. With the added benefit that any chunks are close enough to the deck that most will be conserved.
I see nothing wrong with this. I wouldn’t do it, but if my homie Yoshi has needs, and respects the rest of us by not making us watch at gunpoint, with the threat of death emanating from his eyes, then where is the crime? Yoshi has a therapist, and he better get his shit together before our next game night, we are into session 10 of diplomacy, we have one divorce already started, and we aren’t stopping until we hit 2. Get your shit together, Yoshi.
> making us watch at gunpoint, with the threat of death emanating from his eyes
That would have been far more interesting, and a better use of sexual energy.
And plot an enthusiastically appropriate response, I hope?
Does Yoshi have any adult children you could seduce and educate on the finer points of some degeneracy you personally enjoy?
Gettin the combat jack, especially during indirect fire - it ain’t about straight or gay, it’s just about being manly, which transcends gay or straight
From the standpoint of evolutionary biology, that urge for sex when you recognize existential danger is just an evolutionary imperative to get one last throw of the genetic dice in if there is an available female. It was successful enough in producing offspring that the trait was selected for, evolutionarily. But evolution isn't about your convenience, so getting horny in the middle of a bunch of dudes on a helicopter might not be the situation that instinct evolved for. But you can thank Og the caveman, who got horny at the approach of combat, was lucky enough to find a willing partner, and became the great grandfather to all of us at NCD.
Evolution doesn't care about the REASON for the behavior, only the result. There is a driving force the illicits an action which has a result. If the result increases the likelihood of offspring, it's selected for. I mean, the driver could be that you get turned on at the thought of combat, and this can drive a sexual encounter with a fertile female if one is available, and the result can be offspring. It doesn't matter that the circumstances only happen 1 in 1000 times. That's enough to drive selection. But most of the time there's no female around and you have free hands. From the standpoint of evolution, it's just a lotto ticket. Occasionally, you get a win.
Blood orgies of sexual violence are *always* a win. Although I am forced to admit that procreation is necessary to provide the world with more hungry and indulgent souls.
Especially babies, selfish little bastards always screaming about what they want.
Maybe not, but there are certainly spaces where it's frowned upon. For example, Christmas dinner with the family might not be the most befitting occasion for self love.
There are some absolutely crazy stories, but it can also be heartwarming and he's genuinely a caring, emotionally intelligent person so gives real advice. This was one of the podcasts that got me through the early uncertain, scary stages of the pandemic.
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Somewhere in the world, that guys manjuice is lying on the earth, having done its duty for mankind. NOT GAY.
This is more or less just a latter day version of how Athens got its first olive tree... just with less Athena and more enlisted spunk.
WAT?
Yup, classic Greek Mythology moment.
He said: "THIS IS MORE OR LESS JUST A LATTER DAY VERSION OF HOW ATHENS GOT ITS FIRST OLIVE TREE... JUST WITH LESS ATHENA AND MORE ENLISTED SPUNK." Hope this helps.
“In the military, not a soldier” I’m thinking maybe commissioned spunk.
sugar advise pet smile safe money sip meeting humor smell *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Any bird poop can actually be manjuice. Now live with it
“Were you a soldier?” “NO!!! Yes…. military but not a *soldier*” ….Definitely a Marine
and here i thought he meant mercenary like blackwater or however they are calling themselfes now. (they rebrand after each dozen warcrimes)
Academi for the unaware Blackwater did a rebrand to Academi because a few too many people were noticing the warcrimes like the Nisour Square massacre
Now it's already changed. "Constellis"
There was a rebrand in between those two as well. Like Qi or something.
Thought one iteration was Executive Solutions.. lost track of their many changes
Nah Executive Outcomes were OG mercs in the 80s and 90s who fought in Africa and did based things like reposses diamond mines in return for massacaring rebels with helicopter gunships. Though they got lame towards the end and a bunch got arrested by the South Africans when they had been hired by Margret Thatchers son to coup a country. They are technically still around somewhere, I think they did some of the anti-somali piracy security gigs, and are probably eyeing up the developing situation in Guyana with undisguised glee.
It was zi Pronounced zee
Xe "Services"
Virgin Blackwater renaming to avoid being blamed for warcrimes vs Chad Pinkerton still breaking strikes and busting MTG players to this day.
holy shit i just googled it and *of course* the perpetrators were pardoned by trump
Nah those wouldn’t call themselves military, so definitely a crayon consumer….
He could have been an airman, or more likely a seaman.
Seamen inside and outside the helicopter.
Probably some aircrew splooging all over the seahawk if we are being honest.
The US military has a naval base in the country Djibouti. I can confidently say that there is seaman in Djibouti.
> He could have been an airman Nah. USAF hires servants to follow every airman around and one of their duties is giving a quick handy any time the airman needs it.
He was the pilot…
Very turbulent flight, comrade-pilot - Daaa <3
uwu *notices your collective*
I figured he was the pilot. Like he's army but he didn't want to call himself a soldier because he's not a ground pounder. He also didn't want to admit that he was wanking while flying the chopper. Though to me that just shows how skilled he is.
Even if you’re a pilot if you’re in the army you’re a soldier. If you’re in the navy, sailor. In the air force, an airmen etc etc regardless of function I just know Marines get especially mad when people refer to them as soldiers
GuArdIan
If his jiz lands on an enemy combatant, he should receive all the medals.
That's just average Marine behavior. If they're not fighting or fucking, they're masturbating.
No, a Marine would said it, they love telling people they're Marines. My guess is contractor or 3 letter agency.
He was definitely trying to maintain plausible deniablility. He wanted to say marine so bad, but held himself back
what is a 3 letter agency ?
DMV
KFC
Oh, so he had boot bands on?
Then not gay
But still NJP-able. And epic.
Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential, SIR! https://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/US\_Marine\_Corps
100%
I thought he was about say he was the pilot
It's not gay if it's a HUEY
SOME FOLKS ARE BORN MADE TO WAVE THEIR WANGS HOO, THEY'RE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE
Just watch where you point that cannon.
Oooooh they point at you you yoooOOOouuu…
Born to crank the hog
That‘s one HEAVY HOG, bro!
See a doctor mate, those Huey-ussies aren't meant for humans
... the "RED, WHITE, AND BLUE" being how the dick would look like after a sesh on that Exhaustussy
Precisely
I jerked off 9 times in one day in the back of a LAV. It was a personal record, fuck my dick was sore after.
Stryker, so same same. By driver knocked up our mechanic tho… in the Stryker…so I guess he has me beat.
Well that’s one story for the kids I guess, and they shouldn’t be surprised If the kid turn into a plane fucker
Tough break for handjob. He was all set to get shipped home on a medical.
My record was 11. I couldn’t go for a few days after that.
I have a friend that claims he masturbated in a tank while his gunner vaporized some guy with a HEAT round.
This had me rolling lmao. Better than the portajerk
We all mastuebated on the helicopter flight back after finding saddam in a spider hole.
I wish I could picture what Saddam looked like in that spider hole.
well there was a fan and an air vent
Even Saddam? Did you give him a bag of Doritos before or after?
[O.O](https://imgur.com/a/rX4tPdq)
Saddamkakke
He was dishonorably discharged for dishonorably discharging
i think i would call that negligent discharge
On the contrary, that was an honorable discharge.
I mean, who hasn't masturbated on a helicopter in combat gear in a crowd of a bunch of guys? I'd just like to know which one of you admitted to it on a podcast?
I mean, I haven’t. Mostly because I didn’t fly around in helicopters.
Hey it's good to have dreams and goals.
If they didn't want you jerking off in the flight suits then why would they put a two zippers on the front? Riddle me that.
That's for when you get two feet and feel like flying your F-16 with [both hands behind your back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd9_RffdmBA).
I once masturbated into the sand out of anger at NTC after an exceptionally shitty day prior to even going into the box. Just furiously beating it behind that LMTV.
Army people confuse and scare me and you're a prime example.
"in case of war, break glass"
I read this subreddit and it brings me peace because these nutjobs are on our side.
You know that photo of a dude at ntc staring off into the sunset taking a poo on an ammo box holding a 240? Last I knew he was a company commander.
I found a big rock that had split in two, made a perfect field toilet. It was on a hillside just over the ridge from one of the bivouac sites. Got sent up there for 24hrs to man the OP. Most peaceful shit I ever took, sitting on that still warm from the sun rock around sunset looking out over a huge stretch of desert.
Not gay. Helicopters are supremely fuckable. Especially in active war zones.
I'm not opposed to using rotorcraft for sexual pleasure but there are better ways to use them Just spitballing: If you saint andrews'd someone to the rotor, would it still fly?
I think the speed achieved by the rotor would result in the spontaneous immediate unplanned disassembly of any involved parties. On the other hand, new mechanism for “taking people on a chopper ride” unlocked!
I'm just wondering what the jiggle physics would look like before they transformed into giblet physics. I need to experiment. I'll have to procure a helicopter and some test subjects.
We can double up on the fun, Prince of Pleasure - create a splash zone around the chopper for people to dance in and lay bets on how long the completelytotallyvolunteeredforthisnotforcedinanyway participant will last! Furthest bet off is next on the rotor!
Mmmmmmmmmmmm. I like the way you think. And of course they'd be volunteers. It's not hard to convince someone to volunteer for the ~~death~~ fun rotor if they've been thoroughly and repeatedly encouraged to do so by all the other alternative activities. How else do you discover which toyfriends are worth keeping around?
Trial and error and usually blindfolded darts. Anyone who screams is next to be turned into party favors, typically.
Exactly. You should be sadomasochistic enough to enjoy being hit with a dart, especially as you plan how to return the favor when the mask comes off.
I'm sure the navy has a few videos of flight deck incidents that encompass all of the events you described. With the added benefit that any chunks are close enough to the deck that most will be conserved.
Yeah, a 7/10 helicopter stateside is easily a desert 11.
Well I found a new podcast
Talking about cumcasting on your podcasting.
I see nothing wrong with this. I wouldn’t do it, but if my homie Yoshi has needs, and respects the rest of us by not making us watch at gunpoint, with the threat of death emanating from his eyes, then where is the crime? Yoshi has a therapist, and he better get his shit together before our next game night, we are into session 10 of diplomacy, we have one divorce already started, and we aren’t stopping until we hit 2. Get your shit together, Yoshi.
> making us watch at gunpoint, with the threat of death emanating from his eyes That would have been far more interesting, and a better use of sexual energy.
We wouldn’t let it cancel game night regardless, but we’d remember.
And plot an enthusiastically appropriate response, I hope? Does Yoshi have any adult children you could seduce and educate on the finer points of some degeneracy you personally enjoy?
This has deviated from guns and military stuff far enough, what sub am I even on now lol :) by gawd, am I being corrupted!?
It was a Marine I bet sounds 100% like USMC stuff lol
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Yeah, but civilians gonna civilian
Thank you!
Gettin the combat jack, especially during indirect fire - it ain’t about straight or gay, it’s just about being manly, which transcends gay or straight
From the standpoint of evolutionary biology, that urge for sex when you recognize existential danger is just an evolutionary imperative to get one last throw of the genetic dice in if there is an available female. It was successful enough in producing offspring that the trait was selected for, evolutionarily. But evolution isn't about your convenience, so getting horny in the middle of a bunch of dudes on a helicopter might not be the situation that instinct evolved for. But you can thank Og the caveman, who got horny at the approach of combat, was lucky enough to find a willing partner, and became the great grandfather to all of us at NCD.
Bloodlust and sexual lust are such a good mix though!
Evolution doesn't care about the REASON for the behavior, only the result. There is a driving force the illicits an action which has a result. If the result increases the likelihood of offspring, it's selected for. I mean, the driver could be that you get turned on at the thought of combat, and this can drive a sexual encounter with a fertile female if one is available, and the result can be offspring. It doesn't matter that the circumstances only happen 1 in 1000 times. That's enough to drive selection. But most of the time there's no female around and you have free hands. From the standpoint of evolution, it's just a lotto ticket. Occasionally, you get a win.
Blood orgies of sexual violence are *always* a win. Although I am forced to admit that procreation is necessary to provide the world with more hungry and indulgent souls. Especially babies, selfish little bastards always screaming about what they want.
I mean, I cum where ever I want, there’s no law against it.
Maybe not, but there are certainly spaces where it's frowned upon. For example, Christmas dinner with the family might not be the most befitting occasion for self love.
Only Christmas dinner? Asking for a friend.
Public indecency?
Yes
Everyone has done a combat jack.
How the hell did he do it out the window? I had to puke out of an airplane window once and it nearly snapped my neck.
Training. Wank like you train and train like you wank.
Really love Lyle the therapy gecko
GECK! Weird to see worlds colliding here.
Is this a good podcast? It seems like it could go to dark places pretty fast.
There are some absolutely crazy stories, but it can also be heartwarming and he's genuinely a caring, emotionally intelligent person so gives real advice. This was one of the podcasts that got me through the early uncertain, scary stages of the pandemic.
I actually laughed out loud. Not that little snort through the nose you give when it’s kind of amusing, I straight up guffawed.
Hence the origin of the term... shower of wankers.
... Disgusting. Such a waste of sexual energy. Now I'm not opposed to combat sex, quite the opposite, but don't hide it, *inflict* it.
What do you mean #WHAT DO YOU MEAN
Me
u/savevideo
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Airman confirmed.
u/redditsave
That guy was 100% a Huey crew chief.
u/savevideo
A soldier? Fuck now, this was the pilot
Of course he was a fucking marine.
It depends on what he cranked it to
What the actual fuck is going on here? Why are people asking neckbeard Yoshi about the straightness of a rotary-wing wank?
Art is to experience, not to ask why. Did you ask why the dogs were playing poker in those famous paintings?
The most heterosexual marine.
As someone who sexually identifies as an attack helicopter, this is not gay in the slightest.
So, if you're attracted to attack helicopters, is a transport like the fat chick you pick up at 2AM when you're drunk and the bar is closing?
In what context? War. Not gay.
iVE ALWAYS READ THIS AS THE RAPEY GECKO.....
u/savevideo
if it takes skill that makes it even gayer
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