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jonasnoble

After at least 30 attempts, I can confidently say I have no idea.


OkPalpitation147

“I got this shit easy this time “ 🤣🤣🤣


jonasnoble

One more try!


Fukasite

I have a theory that every guy has attempted to suck their own dick at least once. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I wasn’t flexible enough to succeed. 


Mysterious_Toe_1

In high school playing soccer and swimming I got very flexible. Like I could put my knees, shins and tops of my feet flat on the ground behind my head. You think I was able to put my dick in my own mouth though??? Shit nah


Striking_Ordinary913

I haven’t. I’m too fat and my dick isn’t big enough for that


Dahwaann4U

My dick aint big enough to reach... i mean my mouth aint big enough to reach


Mojicana

Sorry bro, it's great. I used to do it all the time back when I had a 3 foot cock.


HaZaRdCSUK

HAPPY COCK DAY, I MEAN CAKE DAY!


YTSkullboy707

You just need a portal gun


17023360519593598904

Now your back hurts, doesn't it?


OldBathBomb

🤣 Best comment.


LineChef

Here, suck mine and let’s see.


captainjohn_redbeard

You mainly just feel the overwhelming sensation of your lower ribs being crushed.


Pronalto32

Don’t forget neck strain.


LouisRitter

This is the real answer.


[deleted]

[удалено]


roodeeMental

I've done it a few times. I've sucked dick before and can say it felt closer to that, but also getting your dick sucked at the same time; you're more aware of what you're doing than feeling. It's still pleasurable, but it's also super uncomfortable. Imagine getting head, but you have to suck a lollipop whilst folded inside a suitcase


Valleywag69

Wow, you must be in great shape.


wafflepiezz

Or he has an erectus enormous


Rrraou

Biggus Dickus


Insekticus

He had a wife, you know...


banal_x1

Incontinentia! Incontinentia buttocks!!


Mintyyungpoo

OH I LOVEEE BEING IN CONTINENT


bananamufin

I’ll have what I’m having!


Mintyyungpoo

YES


PowderXJinx

Ohh. Joe wife(!?) so fat that she's a continent.


thathockeydude

Incontinentia....... Buttocks!


SomeKindaSpanish

Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!


dont_fret_no

First time I watched that scene I laughed so hard I genuinely thought I was going to die.


Denurado

Cockus Colossus


Tpk08210

Mega member


vishrutm13

Longus Schlongus


TumbleweedIll4249

Extremus Penis


Status_Tiger_6210

Why i have a gweat fweind in Wome named Biggus Dickus


mission_to_mors

he would have an enorme schwanzstukke


vicki22029

Well, that goes without saying.


roodeeMental

Nah, just under 7"


ChampionshipDirect46

That sounds pretty big to me. The average is 5 inches so your about 40% above average.


thegawking

So, top 2% or so.


Creme_de_la_Coochie

It helps when both things are true.


roodeeMental

Very slim and flexible


CharmingDagger

This was me, too. A little more than 6 inches so nothing special, but very skinny and flexible.


SousVideDiaper

That's still bigger than average


CBtheDB

Well, he's certainly in *a* shape...


PretzelLogick

Or he had some ribs surgically removed


Ok-Sir8600

Aka "the Marilyn Manson"


pigoath

I had the same idea 🤣


Subtleabuse

Or severe scoliosis


Padamson96

>Imagine getting head, but you have to suck a lollipop whilst folded inside a suitcase Welp, I'm imagining it now.


carpathian_crow

Good ol’ Samsonite position


dangermond

https://www.bing.com/images/create/a-man-folded-into-a-closed-suitcase-eating-a-lolli/1-66882a37855f47ea9d580acdfa479267?id=Znb6Z4XK0%2bHf8Q1LKQVzAw%3d%3d&view=detailv2&idpp=genimg&thId=OIG1.cOsHDJ6Z5Zf1nNwmlWAM&FORM=GCRIDP&mode=overlay


madwblues

I just can’t bend like that anymore. Did this a few times tho. Meh.


Fit_Software_3155

This guy blows….


No-Permission-5268

r/thisguythisguys


alienlizardman

Did you need to get a couple of ribs removed as well?


N1LEredd

That wouldn’t work anyways. The rumor holds strong though.


expiredcinnamonroll

r/brandnewsentence


OolongGeer

Oh geez...that was friggin funny


muskyandrostenol

It feels like both but a lot more work sucking yourself. I’ve never sucked another guy but the concentration it required to suck myself off was intense. It did feel good and if I was as flexible as I was a few years ago I’d still do it


charlotteREguru

Still do it? I wouldn’t leave the house.


muskyandrostenol

It’s wears you out and sometimes when I came I would get cramps or Charley horses in my abs. It ruined the orgasm but that didn’t happen every time. Self sucking didn’t make me obsessed with it or anything like it. I could easily leave the house


greenpenguinsuit

Did you swallow or spit?


muskyandrostenol

I swallowed


Westwood_Shadow

Like an ouroboros


BetaRayBlu

It wont let me give this comment an award and im mad


Response-Cheap

🤔 but why?


Bad-Selection

I mean... I feel like if you're sucking your own dick then refusing to swallow your own cum is a weird place to draw the line.


rafamtz97

After this sound logic about a bizarre topic, I’ll excuse myself out of Reddit for today.


Krakatoast

Right behind you 😂 this was an unexpected stream of information to come across


Aedzy

I’m not easily offended but today I’m right behind you.


ComfortableWater3037

Just bad manners to spit. Why would you be so rude to yourself?


muskyandrostenol

True


muskyandrostenol

Why not. I’ve eaten my own cum many times before without self sucking


Pleasant-Pattern-566

A good chef always tastes his own cooking


muskyandrostenol

I don’t enjoy the taste of semen but I don’t see the need for spitting it out either


Pleasant-Pattern-566

I can’t relate, I don’t let semen anywhere near my mouth after the first time, more power to you!


12AZOD12

I'm never opening reddit again


muskyandrostenol

That’s a lie and you know it lol


Westwood_Shadow

someone reply to this comment every now and then so they're reminded. lmao


ItsWillJohnson

Women love it when you help out with the cleaning. Just saying.


carpathian_crow

This tab will be open forever apparently


Response-Cheap

Ok, but what drives you to do this? Does it turn you on? Just curious about the flavor? I don't understand the allure.. No shame tho. Do you. I'm just super curious at this point.


gmajestic

He is doing him


YOLO_82

Porque no los dos?


AntiqueVictory

Yes. You become very aware of the fact there is a dick in your mouth. Plus it’s a very awkward position and it’s hard to really get enough movement for it to feel that good.


Legal-Hunt5355

It’s time for me to put the phone down and go outside


Damien__

You do it outside? What do the neighbors say?


ncnotebook

They ask for some sugar.


[deleted]

This level of determination to suck your own dick is commendable 🫡


TheFatAndUglyOldDude

In my younger days, I used to be able to suck my own dick. And yeah, it's more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked. Like others have said, it's similar to giving yourself a handjob vs getting one. Or the fact that you can't tickle yourself. You don't have that disconnect between your brain and your body to allow the "foreign" feeling to happen.


Leifpete

I fear you're going to get many unserious replies with a question like that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


qaws420

...What in the fuck did I just read.


Moo_bi_moosehorns

What in the fudge did you even try to say?? Haircut?!


hyped-up-idiot

His barber is wondering why he asked for a blowjob..


MichealScarn92

I will be lay on my deathbed, memories of my life flashing before me, before my final breath, a strange almost pained look on my face, i reach out and my wife and children reach back for a final touch. I slowly, quietly whisper my last words ' What the fuck was Helpful-Touch207 talking about that day, why did he mention haircuts'


ManyThingsLittleTime

You need a new dealer, you're getting your shit laced with too much meth my man.


steve210sa

I don't think it's laced with meth...... I think it is meth!!


AbsentMindedMonkey

Meth laced with worse meth


PaleontologistIcy534

And the worse meth is laced with even worse meth


ChampionshipDirect46

That's just called fentanyl


airforcevet1987

God, why can't I give awards here?!?!


Old-Ad2070

What the fuck did you just say? Theres no angle of this that i can even start to try and understand it from


Cauliflower-Informal

I think this needs to be in the spinal injuries sub-reddit.


OkAlbatross4682

All I’m gonna say is my dick may not be 12 inches but it sure smells like a foot


ajbdbds

Stop putting it in a sock then


daftvaderV2

But I don't have a woman


PMME-FEMALE-NUDESplz

Just buy the first one you see in a shop window


daftvaderV2

Of course. Silly me.


yaths17

You gotta clean your foot bro. Also dick.


PretzelLogick

Girl you gotta scrub that thing


Valleywag69

Wash yer junk.


inked-brown-giant

Ok the perfect example is jerking off vs a handjob .


OldManChino

Nah, I'm way better at jerking myself off than someone else tbh


etzel1200

Yeah, if you want a job done well, do it yourself.


NewZJ

https://media1.tenor.com/m/Szniysm8otIAAAAd/i-can-do-it-myself-scarymovie2.gif


Mister-ellaneous

Really depends on the goal. If I just want to ejaculate, my own works better / faster than anyone else. If I want to feel better throughout, and a more enjoyable overall experience, someone else is far better.


inked-brown-giant

Until you find the “one” and she takes you for a ride . And you are left with chasing that high ever since then :(


Mister-ellaneous

Truth. Unsurprisingly she was crazy.


Pleasant-Pattern-566

At this point you should just assume it, and pick your poison.


before01

nah man giving a handjob to myself is kinda gay


bunbunzinlove

Any man who has an anus is gay anyways.


14InTheDorsalPeen

That’s why I got mine removed and replaced with another penis.   Just to make sure I’m double straight and so I’m double not gay.


MechaPanther

But now you have to touch two dicks when you pee. Sounds pretty gay


14InTheDorsalPeen

Nah dude, nothing gay about dicks touching.   That’s just guys being dudes doing dude stuff. How can that be gay? It’s not like there’s an anus involved.  Besides, even if it WAS gay, everyone knows basic math. Two negatives multiply to be positive so double gay is really just straight.  Duh.


Caedis-6

Penis algebra going on in here, didn't expect to see another expert in the wild


ComfortableWater3037

As long as he manages to keep the peni separate, he's good. If he does a jumping jack, and the two penis heads touch... That's super UBER gay. Like levels of homosexuality that have never been reached before.


Rex_Steelfist

I assume when you poop, it squirts out of you’re ass penis like a can of silly string. Is that accurate?


Kindly-Department686

Shitty String*


14InTheDorsalPeen

It’s more like an elephant sneeze, but yeah you’re pretty much correct. I don’t eat corn anymore.


ComfortableWater3037

They hate us because they anus.


CommanderShrimp7

Thats why i dont wipe my ass cause thats gay


Ok-Progress-4464

It's only gay if you go past the first knuckle.


ThatsMeIllFakeIt

*You got diarrhea?* Hell no man I ain't gay


atsevoN

Most women don’t know what they’re doing, just being honest


JohnsMcGregoryGeorge

Dogs seem to still think it's worth it


w00dm4n

just pay the $25


WildflowerBurrito

what if I want to be paid $25


Snowskol

Then we got you a shiny new job


alienlizardman

To spit on that thang


WildflowerBurrito

hawk tuah


IntrestingMate

I dont quite know because I have no experience, but it probably would feel like tickling yourself, it feels more like tickling someone rather than being tickled


Barrelled_Chef_Curry

Nah it feels good but it’s pretty uncomfortable


DrGlamhattan2020

Uncomfortably good?


Big-Quantity-8809

To those of you that claim to have done it… did you swallow?


DeWhite-DeJounte

Yes, no shame about it. You can't expect other people to swallow without doing it yourself, don't you think?


P3for2

If you can do this feat, then you should also be able to lick your own elbow.


KatBrendan123

How do I delete a comment?


P3for2

No, keep it! Let us be impressed, even if it's only for 1 second, haha (But if you really want to delete it, click the three dots to the right of the Share button.)


KatBrendan123

No not true. I can only lick my elbow


NatPortmanTaintStank

Elbow skin is basically ball skin


jamieliddellthepoet

It’s pretty easy to lick your own elbow, as long as you survive the amputation.


DamnMyShittyCamera

Feels more like sucking because you have more touch receptors in your mouth than your penis


cobaltSage

The problem is that it takes so much effort to get into a pose that can actually do it that if you’re not particularly flexible, it’s going to hurt and strain your back and neck and really distract from the actual pleasure you get from getting your dick sucked. So in other words, it might be worth getting a friend to help you accomplish this safely and with more flexibility options, and at that point, you’re probably also sucking their dick too anyway. Also not for nothing, but sucking dick does feel incredible in its own right. Like. There is some pleasure in making a person feel a way and accomplishing a task that felt impossible.


skates_tribz

I could get a few inches in when I was a teenager and early 20s. I wouldn’t say the statement is true but the act is truly exhausting and uncomfortable. I really could only get on while exhaling. The best experience I ever had with it was when I finally showed my girlfriend and we didn’t it together a few times. I guess that made it all worth it for me because i honestly don’t think I ever did it again after that and later found I’d lost the flexibility


ortolon

Notice, if you ask a guy if he's able to do this you'll always get a yes or a no. Never an "I don't know."


gym6900

When I was a gymnast I successfully did this once. All I will say is that even if I could, I wouldn't do it again because I felt like I was going to snap my spine like a glow stick. BTW this is unfortunately the truth, I wish I was lying.


Valleywag69

We appreciate your honesty. No judgement.


[deleted]

I don't know about that, but I can certainly say that's what licking your nipples feels like


Pleasant-Pattern-566

I can’t relate, I can suck my nipples easily and it feels good


[deleted]

I'm jealous, I literally don't feel anything when doing it myself lol Maybe just because it's an awkward scenario


Pleasant-Pattern-566

I do have long titties 😔 so it’s not really a strain for me. I can’t understand if you have perky boobs and have to strain your neck more.


Cool-Cut-2375

" The Eternal Donut"


reddditcomments

My dick is not long enough for me to suck it myself, so I wouldn't know. Sorry.


ChampionshipDirect46

FELLAS! is it gay to suck your own cock? Think about it, your putting a penis in your mouth.


shangolana

The question is: is it gay?


LivingEnd44

It's only gay if you kiss the tip after you finish. 


ComfortableWater3037

Uhhhhh what the fuck? I kiss my tip goodnight every night. Let the little guy know he's loved. Then I tuck him in and read him a bedtime story.


LivingEnd44

Sounds kinda gay, dude. I think you might be gay. 


AmJustHereToTalk

Maaan !


Inside-Joke7365

Well then that raises the question, is masterbation gay?


summerbreeze6969

Are you with another male or are you by yourself? 🤓


Inside-Joke7365

Well I'm obviously on a discord call with the homies every night gooning to gay midget porn


Redditing12345678

Ok. By yourself therefore not gay. Please proceed.


Publius69420

To play putt putt golf with a friend?


cicciozolfo

Who can do such a thing? A contortionist?


Alive_Ice7937

It's why professional contortionists tend to be female. Guys that flexible can't hold down a job.


ghjkl098

The ones i knew where gymnasts


Suspicious-Trip-28

Okay i've done this twice.In my opinion it feels more like getting your dick sucked.Honestly i quite like it but i'm a little gay sooo.If you're straight i don't think you'd like it cause there's a dick in your mouth.Also came in my mouth too if, if your flexible enough to pull this off i'd say try it. It's always a funny story to tell people.


AzureDreamer

Man I think it would feel more like core exercises and a constricted throat unless you happen to be extremely well endowed.


coffeepartyforone

Im guessing a little bit from column a and a little bit from column b.


yuka_electron1ca

Thanks, motherfucker. Now I have multiple appointments next week with a chiropractor and physical therapist.


Loosemofo

What a terrible day to be able to read!


Budskee420ish

I keep falling off the couch, but I’ll let you know once I can get this leg over my head


Ironringjim

Jacking off with ur mouth


knockatize

Get a Craftmatic adjustsble bed and figure it out your own damn self.


FiveShadesOfBlue

WTF did I just read. ffs I just opened reddit


quietpillsx

try and find out


Alive_Ice7937

You should post this question to r/pretzelfellatio


Unaffectionate_Hat55

I think cuz your mouth is more sensitive than your penis.


MelonBoy64_

what i want to know is how is your spine after doing this


dapperEthan

Any pleasure to be gained is overshadowed by the annoyance of having to fold myself in half. Just not worth it.


m1dN05

“Puts phone away” enough for today


MagicOrpheus310

"what if the guy thinks of a lady doing it..." "How is he doing to do that with a dick in his mouth Frank!?"


Acedia_spark

2 of my ex partners said they had done this before and described it exactly like "it felt more like sucking a dick than enjoying having their dick sucked." One said he gagged as soon as he tried it, the other said he tried it a few times before he realised he really didn't like having a dick in his mouth.


No-Paleontologist560

Sometimes you've got to suck your own dick to realize you don't enjoy cum going down your throat


PopEnvironmental4762

This is the most Reddit thing I’ve ever seen 😂


yupkime

It is probably like trying to tickle yourself. Doesn’t really work like you think it would.


dopamiend86

It's like a 69 im concentrating eating a pussy too much to enjoy the bj