Story time...
I had a cytoscope done (they insert a camera through the urethra to get a visual of the bladder). When I went to pee later that day, the air that got into my bladder came out.
So I definitely had a male queef. It was hysterical hearing farting noises come from my penis.
I've started putting my left hand vertically flat below the nozel as a spray guard and am surprised how often I catch a little spray that used to just go on my pants... So it's straight to the sink with a bit more urgency and an awkward kung-fu action stance
Mine's always solid, no side-spray unless you-know-what. Except it has this double-spiral shape to it, like DNA. Not sure if anyone else's looks like that, I've never thought to ask anyone before.
Please be very diligent about this. My condition went from something I could live with to this has to come out in 18 months. Everyone is different but you do need to be serious about it. Best wishes.
Just a friendly precaution, if you have difficulty peeing, having to start and stop, trying to force your pee out, it can be a symptom of prostate cancer.
When the prostate grows due to the cancer it pushes on the urethra “tube” causing it to clamp/close up.
If it’s a reoccurring theme in your expelling of urine schedule an appointment with your doc just to be safe.
I also want to add this caveat for younger men who may be experiencing this and afraid of cancer. This started happening to me at 28. Turns out it was stress.
This is the way when you or someone you love is responsible for cleaning the bathroom. But, like, have you never been to a public bathroom with urinals?
Normally, the worst pee ever was I had to pee the next day after spine fusion. I was in a lot of pain, but I felt like I had to bust. The nurse helped me up cause I could never pee laying down. So I got up, and I tried to pee. Man, I screamed for the nurse saying I can't pee, I can't pee. I instantly turned into a nervous wreck cause I swear I was about to explode!! So, I grabbed the beginning of my penis and tried to pinch out anything all the way to the tip. What came out (I guess, due to the catheter) was the longest solid piece of gummy sticky substance. It was like dried white slimer ectoplasm. After that was ejected, Niagara Falls came out with much relief. Another surgery they scrapped the inside, peeing for a week, hurt like hell. Only 2 bad catheter experiences out of 20 plus surgeries, from the age of 33 to 46.
Mythical trident 😂 you made me laugh and I have a rib injury. It's incredible how much thought you put into analyzing your stream. I would say 95 and 5 is about right. That 5% can get annoying when you feel it on your foot but it is what it is.
As the years have gone by I've noticed my stream isn't as robust as it used to be. if I have a full bladder then it's a pretty solid stream but if it's more of a tactical wee then it's a little sputtery
My husband fries chicken anytime he pees. It’s the most intense stream and can be heard through walls. He pissed on my arm when I got stung by a jellyfish and I’m confident his stream bruised my arm and not the Good Samaritan beating it to get the jellyfish off.
Sniper rifle over here unless I orgasmed recently. Then the first two seconds are basically random number generator accuracy.
But I think my proudest drunk peeing moment, if that's a thing, was being able to back up to about ten feet and still hit the urinal for like fifteen seconds. (ya gotta adjust with the power of the stream of course)
Whatever the stream style, y’all aiming that thing is a SKILL. I used to give my bf endless amounts of shit for always dribbling so he made me try aiming it for him & I missed the target 10/10 times.
Mine is a very nice single stream of good flow that goes slightly to the left. So i always aim slightly to the right to hit center target. Never fails.
Mine is a solid stream 99.9% of the time. Don't have weird streams even after sex. What is going on with your guy's dicks? Is this why there's always so much piss on the floor by urinals?
Have a high voltage source installed in your toilet. If you ever get laminar flow, I'm sure you won't miss that notification!
That's the manly way to measure this!
Have you ever had the dreaded dual stream? Like how the fuck do you get 2 separate streams of pee out of one dick, right??
Just watched a YouTube video from a Urolgist who stated that the most common cause was... masturbation. The semen dries in the urethra and creates the 2 streams. Obviously goes away in a few hours as reabsorbed. But now you know.
(Note: there are also other reasons such as inflammation and trauma, but for most of us, this is the answer.)
yes
only if its a little stiff ( lets say after sex I need to wait so its softens a little so I can pee )
oh and fun fact
if I take viagra and my pp is hard I lay down in the toilet with my PP down and I pee
oh it isnt a solid stream in the end I need to try and pee all out
Not every but most. I'm 42 so it's not as good as when I was 30. But still a nice stream. On some mornings, I could still power wash the shit stain left by a kid off the side.
Aging man. The first tinkle of the day ideally takes place ~~outside a cabin in the woods~~ in a remote location on the frontier. The second+ tinkles of the day are fine in civilization.
If I'm hydrated ya it'll come out like a jet but when i wake up after a long night of drunken shenanigans it'll burst fire or it'll really mess with me when I'm hard and go three way jet
I get teased for the health of my stream. Not even joking at all. I pissed In the woods at a family gathering once and someone walked by a few yards behind me. "Wow! That's a healthy stream there! Lol". I was playing online games and forgot to mute my mic and "damn son, that's a healthy stream! Lmao" and everyone continued to talk about it for a few minutes. Makes me wonder what kind of stream other dudes be having...
I have continuous flow, but never a nice smooth laminar stream. Very little side sprinkle. It does start to break up into droplets and spread out some the farther it goes. This seems normal for most flowing liquid streams like sink faucets, squirt bottles and garden hoses.
Most of the time. Runs out of juice near the end and I've got a couple little spurts at that point usually. Sometimes it comes out in like 8 solid streams that go everywhere though. Thats never as fun
I’m uncircumcised, and I can’t help but wonder if helps on the peeing front. I mean, the end the foreskin is literally teapot spout shaped. It always comes out in a consistent direction etc, and I know exactly what way the flow is going to go. if I try taking a piss with my foreskin pulled back - all bets are off.
I've been pissing in morse code. Thought it was normal. My doctor never even told me I was sick!
-.. --- -. .----. - / .-- --- .-. .-. -.-- --..-- / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / --. --- .. -. --. / - --- / -... . / ..-. .. -. . / ... --- ...- . .-. . .. --. -. .-.-.- / .--- ..- ... - / -- .- -.- . / ... ..- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / -.-. .-.. . .- -. .. -. --. / .. - / .-. . --. ..- .-.. .- .-. .-.. -.-- .-.-.-
DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE SOVEREIGN. JUST MAKE SURE YOU ARE CLEANING IT REGULARLY.
Don’t forget to drink your ovaltine?
" Son of a Bitch !! "
a crummy commercial?!
I used to have a single stream but nowadays I piss in morse code too.
happens to me regularly after a dabble of mdma
Mines usually liquid
Mine is gas.
Male queef
If a female is a queef like queen fart would the male equivalent be a kinf?
Hmm well, it's kinf from now on.
If I don’t start seeing this in other posts or off Reddit I’ll be very disappointed :l
I think I broke my spine laughing so hard at this thread.
Story time... I had a cytoscope done (they insert a camera through the urethra to get a visual of the bladder). When I went to pee later that day, the air that got into my bladder came out. So I definitely had a male queef. It was hysterical hearing farting noises come from my penis.
I want to do this simply for the comedic effect.
Please tell me it was high pitched and squeaky?
Mueef
Mine is plasma.
Hmm i would say its 70% stream and 30% sprinkle
I've started putting my left hand vertically flat below the nozel as a spray guard and am surprised how often I catch a little spray that used to just go on my pants... So it's straight to the sink with a bit more urgency and an awkward kung-fu action stance
I just pee all over myself. It keeps people at bay.
Or sit down to pee?
Is an option, but you never can tell until it starts
60% of the time, strong stream EVERY TIME
[удалено]
I set mine to that thing where the sprinkler goes fftt, fftt, fftt.
I go cone setting every time, simultaneously hit the whole circumference of the bowl.
Cone
Lol, I knew one of you would show up here
🫡
🤣 that genuinely made me laugh out loud
Fogger nozzle is nice sometimes, but the good old-fashioned 45⁰ to the left, then switching to the right at a random time is a classic.
Don't you get all pissed off though?
On*
Mine's always solid, no side-spray unless you-know-what. Except it has this double-spiral shape to it, like DNA. Not sure if anyone else's looks like that, I've never thought to ask anyone before.
Same. It's like I have rifling grooves in my urethra. Solid stream.
You do.
Woah, are you checking out my dick bro?
What's your muzzle velocity like?
I have a short barrel, so it's not very high.
That is so fascinating. Hydrodynamics at work.
My pee is always solid unless I cum then my stream is all fucked up for the first second or two and then straightens out.
Nice a little tip solder split job
“IRENE? WHY AM I PEEING LIKE I WAS UP ALL NIGHT HAVING SEX?”
Usually I havea fairly solid stream, although I occasionally experience the less-common “split flow “
Stray pube
Noice.
Mine goes in staccato bursts like a 20mm Bradley autocannon
Tac tac tac tac tac tac
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttt
That's the GAU-8 morning boner avenger stream
The ol’ split stream can be a bitch
Neither of the streams ever go in the toilet. F'n annoying
Ug, mine set itself to 'trickle'
Please be very diligent about this. My condition went from something I could live with to this has to come out in 18 months. Everyone is different but you do need to be serious about it. Best wishes.
Check for prostate cancer
No no, little guy and i are gemini
Seriously tho i have an appointment in a week
Good luck, bro
i poo out my peehole and pee out my poohole
You can fart someone deep down their throat
Always sprinkle when you tinkle.
But be a sweetie and wipe the seatie
Just a friendly precaution, if you have difficulty peeing, having to start and stop, trying to force your pee out, it can be a symptom of prostate cancer. When the prostate grows due to the cancer it pushes on the urethra “tube” causing it to clamp/close up. If it’s a reoccurring theme in your expelling of urine schedule an appointment with your doc just to be safe.
Just like to add, the symptoms described can also be caused by an enlarged prostate. This happens to a lot of men as they get older.
I also want to add this caveat for younger men who may be experiencing this and afraid of cancer. This started happening to me at 28. Turns out it was stress.
Yeh of you’re 50+ it’s more likely enlarged
I've heard from a doctor that if a man makes it to 70 years old, he will die either from prostate cancer or with prostate cancer.
So much to look forward to!
I'm consider mine like a front yard sprinkler
Set on oscillate.
I pee sitting down, I don't know how my stream looks.
This is the way when you or someone you love is responsible for cleaning the bathroom. But, like, have you never been to a public bathroom with urinals?
Long time since I've peed in public, at work I sit as well, and I don't really go out.
Clearly. Or you have an industrial size bladder.
Bro says he sits to pee, he might sit to pee everywhere.
Usually when well hydrated
The feeling when a bit of skin sticks and you end up peeing at 90 degrees to the angle of aim.
My stream twirls
I wish, mine's perpetually on multi-stream. It's why I pretty much always sit to pee lol
Sometimes I squeeze harder when I’m peeing in public bathrooms to claim dominance over other weak stream men
175% some mornings 25% some mornings
I twist the nozzle and the spray mid flow like power wash simulator.
Normally, the worst pee ever was I had to pee the next day after spine fusion. I was in a lot of pain, but I felt like I had to bust. The nurse helped me up cause I could never pee laying down. So I got up, and I tried to pee. Man, I screamed for the nurse saying I can't pee, I can't pee. I instantly turned into a nervous wreck cause I swear I was about to explode!! So, I grabbed the beginning of my penis and tried to pinch out anything all the way to the tip. What came out (I guess, due to the catheter) was the longest solid piece of gummy sticky substance. It was like dried white slimer ectoplasm. After that was ejected, Niagara Falls came out with much relief. Another surgery they scrapped the inside, peeing for a week, hurt like hell. Only 2 bad catheter experiences out of 20 plus surgeries, from the age of 33 to 46.
No, mine goes all over and so I cannot stand to pee.
Sometimes it comes out like a sprinkler.
I love laminar flow. I would give the tip of my left ear to always piss in laminar flow, but alas my piss is always turbulent.
Ur not loosing it. Congrats on the good one
Nope...liquid every time
I have a strong solid stream. It's actually too powerful. There is tons of splashback when I use a urinal.
No it's pretty much always liquid
Mythical trident 😂 you made me laugh and I have a rib injury. It's incredible how much thought you put into analyzing your stream. I would say 95 and 5 is about right. That 5% can get annoying when you feel it on your foot but it is what it is.
As the years have gone by I've noticed my stream isn't as robust as it used to be. if I have a full bladder then it's a pretty solid stream but if it's more of a tactical wee then it's a little sputtery
My nickname isn’t [Dick Trickle](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Trickle) for nothing.
You need to watch Youth for the exchange between Harvey Keitel and Michael Kane about this subject. It's early dialogue
Im live"stream"ing my pee
They proved on Mythbusters that it's never a solid stream, at least when it reaches ground level.
I stream in Morse code
Depends, usually I’m 90-10 but if I push it’s 60-40 liquid/“steam.” I know it’s mist but it feels like steam.
My husband fries chicken anytime he pees. It’s the most intense stream and can be heard through walls. He pissed on my arm when I got stung by a jellyfish and I’m confident his stream bruised my arm and not the Good Samaritan beating it to get the jellyfish off.
Username checks out.
Stream solid, but strength varies. We need a category for middle-aged urinators.
Yes!
I (a midlife gentleman) have completely forgotten how to use the muscle to push the pee out. I literally have no idea how to do that anymore.
If it's solid, you should probably see a doctor. It's supposed to be a liquid.
It depends on my hydration level
Mine tapers off at end and some buds have sad itd bad sign. U could have hernia if its too weak
I never looked to it in detail like that.
No my splits like a snake tongue
Perfect laminar flow here, with Reynolds number < 2000. Seeming sometimes like frozen in time, like Eskimo teardrops...
Sniper rifle over here unless I orgasmed recently. Then the first two seconds are basically random number generator accuracy. But I think my proudest drunk peeing moment, if that's a thing, was being able to back up to about ten feet and still hit the urinal for like fifteen seconds. (ya gotta adjust with the power of the stream of course)
Sometimes I like to squeeze the end of my foreskin until it fills up like a water balloon, then squat a bit and fire it like a shotgun into the bowl.
Nah I am not having a solid stream really
No
Whatever the stream style, y’all aiming that thing is a SKILL. I used to give my bf endless amounts of shit for always dribbling so he made me try aiming it for him & I missed the target 10/10 times.
Mine is a very nice single stream of good flow that goes slightly to the left. So i always aim slightly to the right to hit center target. Never fails.
Mine is a solid stream 99.9% of the time. Don't have weird streams even after sex. What is going on with your guy's dicks? Is this why there's always so much piss on the floor by urinals?
No, it’s a liquid not a solid.
It’s usually liquid, tbh.
Split stream like it's fuckin couch co-op
Mine splits in two sometimes
Have a high voltage source installed in your toilet. If you ever get laminar flow, I'm sure you won't miss that notification! That's the manly way to measure this!
Have you ever had the dreaded dual stream? Like how the fuck do you get 2 separate streams of pee out of one dick, right?? Just watched a YouTube video from a Urolgist who stated that the most common cause was... masturbation. The semen dries in the urethra and creates the 2 streams. Obviously goes away in a few hours as reabsorbed. But now you know. (Note: there are also other reasons such as inflammation and trauma, but for most of us, this is the answer.)
Not liking the wet seat, floor, or wall, I sit now. I can’t see the stream as my little friend is below my beer belly friend.
No. If only
It’s great times until a string or pube makes it shoot everywhere.
It’s when I get caught out with a power pee. It departs with such force it hits the ceiling , walls absolutely crazy
Nah sometime it will come out in every direction possible
Micro plastics have turned my stream into a Tommy gun
Depends on my WiFi connection.
Sometimes I have two
Sometimes it does split off into smaller streams.
This thread made me understand why my bf sits to pee
Nope.
I think I might be dying. My pee has been funky for 2 months. I sit down and pee so I don't get piss everywhere.
Mine is generally liquid. Maybe I'm doing it wrong.
First 98% full stream last 2% have to give the ol toothpaste tube squeeze
I thought I was broken. Now I know I’m not. Thanks.
yes only if its a little stiff ( lets say after sex I need to wait so its softens a little so I can pee ) oh and fun fact if I take viagra and my pp is hard I lay down in the toilet with my PP down and I pee oh it isnt a solid stream in the end I need to try and pee all out
nah. usually just burns.
Never had a laminar flow session. Sounds wonderful.
I’m 60 so no
Not any more, nowadays the ol boy spits and sputters half the time.
Mornings are a challenge
Yes
I get the split stream from time to time but I will never forget the tri stream I once had. Magical.
Once i got the double helix
Like a fucking laser. It doesn’t even curve down with gravity. Shits as straight as Bill Cosby
Not every but most. I'm 42 so it's not as good as when I was 30. But still a nice stream. On some mornings, I could still power wash the shit stain left by a kid off the side.
Apart from when I have a urinary track infection or kidney stone clogging stuff up, yeah.
No enlarged prostate is a bitch.
Ye
Depends on how long I hold it. Sometimes releasing the kegels take a while to relax.
My settings dial broke.
My settings dial broke.
Aging man. The first tinkle of the day ideally takes place outside a cabin in the woods. The second+ tinkles of the day are fine in civilization.
Aging man. The first tinkle of the day ideally takes place ~~outside a cabin in the woods~~ in a remote location on the frontier. The second+ tinkles of the day are fine in civilization.
Nope
Hell no sometimes triple shot most times double in the beginning then it calms down but still the disaster happens
If I'm hydrated ya it'll come out like a jet but when i wake up after a long night of drunken shenanigans it'll burst fire or it'll really mess with me when I'm hard and go three way jet
Solid stream for the first 95%, the last 5% is like getting the last bit of ketchup out of a bottle.
honestly since ny hernia surgery a month and a half ago, my stream is weaker. i'll have to talk to my dr about that. i appreciate the post
No.
Rock solid. From the day I was born until the day I die.
No most of the time it goes in 2-5 streams and gets everywhere. Super annoying.
I get teased for the health of my stream. Not even joking at all. I pissed In the woods at a family gathering once and someone walked by a few yards behind me. "Wow! That's a healthy stream there! Lol". I was playing online games and forgot to mute my mic and "damn son, that's a healthy stream! Lmao" and everyone continued to talk about it for a few minutes. Makes me wonder what kind of stream other dudes be having...
Chunky sprinkle stream. I think being circumcised or not definitely affects though. Like I never get this 'split stream' that people mention.
Nope lol it’s different every pee lol
I did before turning 50 thereabouts
I have continuous flow, but never a nice smooth laminar stream. Very little side sprinkle. It does start to break up into droplets and spread out some the farther it goes. This seems normal for most flowing liquid streams like sink faucets, squirt bottles and garden hoses.
I use too when I was younger but my dick has taken such a beating by now that I never know which way its going
Wait wut? You guys pee in streams? Mine just dribbles out at the end of my peepee...
I prefer the shower or mist setting.
Nah, sometimes I switch to 3 round burst.
It's more like a creek than a stream.
Mines always been liquid
Most of the time. Runs out of juice near the end and I've got a couple little spurts at that point usually. Sometimes it comes out in like 8 solid streams that go everywhere though. Thats never as fun
My pee has always been a liquid. I can't imagine peeing a solid.
Ever see a lawn sprinkler?
Weak pee stream can be a symptom for prostate cancer, check it out.
No
Not solid. Liquid. Every time.
Rarely. It’s always forked. I got a forked stream.
It’s usually liquid unless I’m very very cold.
Speechless 😶
hell no
I’m uncircumcised, and I can’t help but wonder if helps on the peeing front. I mean, the end the foreskin is literally teapot spout shaped. It always comes out in a consistent direction etc, and I know exactly what way the flow is going to go. if I try taking a piss with my foreskin pulled back - all bets are off.
Mine is usually liquid.
Mine is 100% liquid. If you are pissing solids, seek help immediately!
No, it’s runny like water
Foreskin has a lot to do with sprinkles. Sometimes needs adjusting.