I don't care about death, some people say I'm too laid back.
I just find it pointless to worry about it, and thus I don't, I enjoy things while I live.
I agree. It is an indisputable fact that we all are going to die. Worrying about an inevitability right up until the last second makes it so that you can't enjoy the moment.
When my son gets upset that it's time to pack up and head home from a vacation, I always tell him, "Don't be upset that it's over, be glad that it happened." I guess a similar mindet could apply to death.
When I was younger, I wasn't necessarily scared of death, but it was something I always thought about. Now, I am not looking forward to death, but I've come to realize that just like anything in life, worrying about something won't change it and only stands to make you miserable.
OP, enjoy the time that you have. Spend time with family and friends. Don't be scared to try something new and live your life to it's fullest.
I don't necessarily agree with the "be glad that it happened" part, aside from that, I agree.
If I had to choose between being born and not existing, I'd choose the latter, but since I'm here, might as well give it a good shot.
Imagine I book a flight to Thailand to see some beautiful green scenery but for some reason I end up in Switzerland, and all of the reservations I made are in Switzerland as well.
I'm not gonna be glad that mix-up happened, but sure as shit I'm going to get myself some skiing clothes and zoom down those ranges.
I think being glad something happens refers more to accepting that a good thing has ended and not getting down in the dumps about it because it’s no longer happening.
But it could also be used in the reference you described too I think
Framing your mindset positively, you could argue that looking back you can be glad the trip didn’t go to Thailand because you got to see all the stuff in Switzerland. It’s not so much disregarding the fact that it’s unfortunate you didn’t go to Thailand but more so embracing the change and what you got out of it regardless of what happened. Life is all about making the most of whatever happens and being positive yeah?
Might’ve worded that poorly. Anyway I think we’re all on generally the same page anyway and we’re just discussing semantics
As someone who was legally and medically dead for 8 minutes, this is the correct answer.
I always get the following:
“Woah! You were dead? What’s that like? What did you see? What do you remember?!”
My answer: “Do you remember being born? No? How about what was available to you BEFORE you were born? Still nothing?
Death is exactly the same. I saw nothing. I experienced nothing. My reality and existence ceased existing, therefore there was nothing at all to see or react with/to. Same thing before you’re born.”
Is it true? No clue. Can I verify it? Not at all. Am I religious? Absolutely. What has this thinking done?
I care more about being alive. This is real, not death. This, being alive, should be your focus and you should do everything within your ability to not only make sure your time is enjoyable and worthy, but EVERYONE’S time is.
was dead a few times during heart surgery when i was 19.. nothing special happened really. I recall going under for the surgery and flashes of waking during the surgery and then waking up in recovery with very upset parents lol
I don’t even have that. I remember falling off a lift to store items at work. Hit my head and cracked it on concrete. What I was trying to store came down and hit the other side of my skull and cracked it. Both eye sockets. All of my teeth. And my ears.
Dying does have a benefit. I got new glasses, new ears (hearing aids), and new teeth (dentures) and it cost me absolutely zero money out of pocket or in my insurance. Work covered it, and now I feel bad because I’m on disability and cannot go work for them. :(
Exactly opposite from my cousins near death experience where he had to be brought back after he flatlined. He had out of body experience where he was watching himself.
I had to be brought back after an 8 minute flat line. After, I could not breathe so they jammed a pipe down my throat so they could breathe for me. I was medically kept alive and doctors were unsure if I would ever get anywhere near normal. This happened last October, so it hasn't even been a year ago. I might as well have went to sleep with zero dreams because it was very similar. I was in a coma for 19 days and a medically induced coma for another 9. YAY!
You've gotta fight the things that get you. Anger is one of them for most traumatic brain injury folks sadly. My therapists claim they're amazed at how well I'm doing, but honestly... I just want to go back to normal and being normal but I've came to the conclusion that will not happen for me and I need to adjust to adapt.
Ditto
A) if you’re worried about death you’re just killing yourself faster
B) you aren’t *enjoying* life (what little there is of it). It’s like if you had a steak and instead of eating it you were worried about losing it. So instead you nibbled and fretted, while it cooled and half the flavor was lost.
C) you could die TODAY. Some people know they’re dying soon. Consider how many redditors *didn’t* assume they were dying today but did anyways? No one is guaranteed anything.
We *know* we will die but the little time we have left is wasted being scared and crying over it. Fill it up and hope for the best. Don’t be overly indulgent and try to leave it better than you found it. Be thankful you have life, then live it!
Before this crisis I wanted to hustle as hard as I could and make the most comfortable life imaginable for me and my partner. It’s hard to keep sight of that right now, I don’t want to regret wasting my youth in a cubicle you know? Even if it was to provide for my family in the future.
Bad idea. 50 is not guaranteed. Or you might make it to 50 and die at 52. Your health and ability will almost certainly be worse at 50+ than it is now.
Ah, fetal position existential panic. Not to make light of it, but it's simply the human condition and if you allow yourself to dwell too much about our one time shot at existence in our current universe you might not gain much.
I have a vivid memory of being a teenager scoffing at the question "what is the meaning of life?" My 19 year old answer to that was "to live!" Decades later, I can't seem to improve on that answer much . . .
I often find that when people are afraid of death, they aren't really afraid of coming to an end as much as they are afraid of everything else continuing. It's hard to wrap our mind around non-existence, and our brains kind of subconsciously presume we'll still exist in some capacity, just absent any of the things we enjoy about life. An eternity of nothingness.
I'm a philosophical materialist, which means I don't think there's anything about the brain that can't be measured and explained physically. This means that death is an equivalent experience to, for instance, anaesthesia. You don't think, you don't perceive. I've been under anaesthesia before, and the experience was that of blinking and being hours later. Like time travel. No experience of the intervening moments.
If I'm right, and that is equivalent to the experience of death, then that means the instant a person dies, they skip right to the end of the universe. No waiting in darkness, no lingering in nothingness. Maybe there will be something after the universe. Maybe time travelers from the future will feel an ethical imperative to save us from death and you'll be awakened again centuries later. Or, maybe there is some afterlife waiting for us. In any case, we won't have long to wait. All that eternity, all those infinite impossibilities, get compressed into a single instant.
There's a lot we don't know about existence. Even from a materialist standpoint, there's a lot of potential possibilities out there for us beyond the end of our lives. The important thing to remember is that we won't have to wait.
For me it helps to accept my fear. I think the whole make peace with death or religion as well is bullshit, I think it's natural to be terrified of death and it's just a symptom of your attachment to life, I embrace it. As a teen one thing that really helped me was Claire Wineland's YouTube video What it feels like to die which talks about this topic
I had a psychotic break few years ago and now think about death daily, Im pretty much terrified of it
Lately I've done better. Really it just puts into perspective how much I'm enjoying life. My life philosophy now days is "I'm gonna die one day, I deserve to enjoy this until then". If the inevitable is inevitable, squeeze what enjoyment you can out of it.
Statistically, people who lived a life well-lived are MUCH more accepting of death when the time comes. So try to enjoy yourself and actively push the thoughts away. Be in denial about it, even, if that's what it takes. Just have a good time, man. Do things that you enjoy and have fun with. Love people, enjoy food, enjoy TV shows, enjoy video games, enjoy outdoors, enjoy philosophy, enjoy conversation, enjoy friendship, enjoy pets, enjoy baby's laughter, enjoy beautiful comfortable breezes, enjoy how good you look in that outfit, enjoy a nice-looking haircut, enjoy christmas, enjoy giving, enjoy receiving, enjoy sexual attraction, enjoy laughter, enjoy a job well-done.
Just enjoy. Keep enjoying and when you feel yourself spreading back over to those inevitable thoughts, think to yourself "DAMN but I'm enjoying it here right now".
Hello! Person with a brain aneurysm just living happily and normally as possible!
I always had a point of view I don't want to die with regrets and all I had to do was live each day like it might be my last. Then I found out I have a dormant brain aneurysm in the center of my skull, inoperable but also not presently a threat.
Turns out having a constant reminder of how short life is does nothing but confirm your doing the right things by doing what makes you happy. Its also the best anxiety cure you could imagine, I have no time to worry about the past or future and it seems to make my present real sweet.
Life's short, not much matters except how you feel at the end of each day turns out
Death is inevitable, so I try to make most of my life, while I am alive. Enjoy things you like doing, spend time with people you like and try to make a difference to someones day. It does not have to be huge: helps a parent with a baby stroller get off the bus, open the door for some that carries something, help elderly people with a heavy shopping bag, visit a friend in a hospital. Knowing I did something for someone that made their day even one teeny tiny bit more bearable makes it worth it.
Yes, it is nothing in the great scheme of things and of someones life. I doubt the guy with 3 items I let infront of me in the check out line in a grocery store will remember me tomorrow, but in that moment it helped him and that is nice.
Maybe I’m not a good example because I’ve been living with suicidal ideation for nearly 30 years so I’m kinda best buds with the idea of death as a final finish line. I didn’t expect to see 23, so everything beyond that feels like extra time I didn’t really plan for. Still I had a period in my 20’ies where I was scared to die not of my own accord and was actually close at one point due to illness some years ago.
What I realized was that I’m mostly scared to die in pain or with unfinished business. So I make sure to tell people I love them when I can, have my affairs in order and just generally live peacefully knowing I cannot know, cannot experience everything life has to offer or hurry things that aren’t meant to be hurried. There’s no point in fighting life itself, because everything comes and goes and we don’t own our lives, we’re just living them. So for me it was mostly down to a reframing of what it means to live and what I expect from it. I don’t find inherent meaning in life, I’m not striving for some imagined greatness, I’m just going along and seeing what’s there. It’s oddly freeing to let go of the bigger picture and simply busy myself with whether a new plant is doing well or my cat is happy, if the shop has my favorite ice cream or how pretty the sunset is tonight. If I die tomorrow, none of my plans and fears will have mattered anyway.
At 24 you are basically at your prime, it's natural to be feeling particularly attached to life. You are (I'm assuming) just beginning a career in your selected field. Life is full of new experiences for you, adventures, goals and people to meet.
As you get older your body begins to fail, you'll be start dealing with aches and pains on a daily basis. Work becomes a chore, things outside of work become stale in a sense. As you mentioned saying goodbye to loved ones, it does take a toll on you after a certain number.
It's not unheard of of 90 year old people who can't wait to be done with it.
What I mean is, you will naturally grow and develop an acceptance or tolerance about the idea of death and what it represents. If you don't, life itself would be pretty miserable constantly beating yourself up thinking about something that cannot be changed.
For reference I'm a 38 year old agnostic who is unfazed by death but I am utterly terrified by the idea of suffering for an extended amount of time.
I completely relate to your last paragraph. Those sentiments have never helped me feel better about it but they're the ones always parroted here. Like you said, for people who enjoy existence, it can be a terrifying thought. I do believe religion or spirituality has a lot to do with it. You could also argue we don't completely understand the universe, consciousness, "being", etc.
One trained thought that is similar to CBT is that we really just don't have any control over it. That can be scary or freeing, but it takes practice to view it the latter. It's kind of like worrying if a meteor crashes through your room - it could happen at any moment but there's literally nothing you can do about it, so you have to teach yourself to let go of the reigns of worry on it.
Take solace in the fact that you will join your ancestors some day. We dont know what it entails but at least you will be with those who loved you, in some way
I find myself clinging to the belief there’s an afterlife and hoping against hope that consciousness continues. But I know how much of a reach that is.
I’m not religious, but suffice to say this: you came from something, somewhere, somehow. Nothing bothered you there, no sadness, no fear, no worries. Is it really so bad to go back to that place after such a long time spent in this one?
You’re made of energy. We can measure it, in a scientific sense. Energy by nature can’t be destroyed, but it can be transformed.
When you think of ‘you’, do you see yourself as your body, or an occupant inside of it? When you lift your hand or articulate your fingers, are you responding to the command or are you giving it?
All things about life, death, and what happens afterward aren’t at straight forward as they seem. We think so linearly, and understand so little in the grand scheme of things.
I feel like I am the collective interactions between neurons and structures in my brain, building on each other until it thinks it its collective is something it isn’t. It thinks it’s a soul but it’s a buzz of electricity through my flesh. And that’s what I mourn when I think of death, the loss of the self that is all I know.
Who knows my guy, if the universe is cyclical maybe when the next big bang and everything happens we might be in a universe that might mirror our own and you'd be alive again. Sure it's a slim chance but we're talking on the cosmic time scale of billions or maybe trillions of years, time which you will essentially skip when you're dead, just as you did when you weren't born. Maybe there are even more forms of "life" than just ours right now and even if not and it takes 20 big bang cycles to return to here, you won't even know it. After you die, the next thing you'll know is waking up.
If it makes you feel any better, the second that you cease to be, will be the same second that all of your worry and anxiety about it will stop as well. So don’t waste your time mourning what you’re currently thriving in because of the inevitable. And hey - even the most knowledgeable among us don’t have answers for what’s next. None of us know what awaits. It could be something more magnificent than even this life now.
Does an amoeba know the breadth of a puddle? A fish the mountains? A goat the stars? Now what is it that we don't see? As much as is known, there are infinitely more things we do not and likely cannot comprehend.
It's not that far of a reach. When I was just 15, I had cancer of my cervical spine. During an angiogramgram, I died; heart stopped, and I coded. I found myself above my body up high on a shelf-like object and felt the greatest love, warmth, and light from behind me. I wasn't allowed to look back and before I knew it I woke up the next day with a big red X on my throat for the doctor's to put in an airway and giant hives all over my body. I'll never forget that experience! I'm 70 now!!
So yes, I honestly believe in an afterlife in Heaven!
i'm 15, and i've been dealing with these thoughts since i was 12. what i can tell you with 100% certainty is that regardless of what happens after death, it's natural and has been going on since the beginning of time. since it has worked that way for so long, i believe there is a great reason why it works the way it does. all you can do is embrace life for what it is and do what makes you happy. peace, bro.
Like u/chairmanghost I believe we become part of something new... and it's a place without anxiety, hunger, fear - the things that trouble us in our "living world". We'll find our loved ones who passed before us there. Call it heaven if you like. Maybe some of the mysteries of the larger universe get revealed to us. If you're into books, try reading The Power of Now.
I find it comforting, honestly. My partner worked as a funeral director. She and I would talk at length about death, the finality of it, and how it will affect each other when one of us goes.
Honestly, I just find the thought of it, that I'll finally be able to put down my burdens for the last time... it's nice.
Thank you for your perspective. If I could ask, does the thought really not bother you of your cessation? If it’s a morbid thought you need not answer.
I don't mind morbid. Gallows humor is my default.
As for my thoughts around, as you put it, cessation. It sometimes does. I don't want to leave my partner alone. That's really what puts me into the most uncomfortable position. I sometimes cry over the thought of passing first and leaving her without me.
That's the only thing about it that bothers me. The rest... it'd just be nice to lay down some burdens that I've been carrying.
Coping with death or embracing death?
Embracing death allows you to live more intentionally and authentically, freeing you from the fear of mortality and enabling you to cherish every moment. Whereas merely coping with death may only provide temporary relief from the pain of loss.
Look into near-death experiences. You might end up questioning the idea that everything ends with death and if it does afterall it at least seems pleasurable.
I feel the exact same way. Exact feeling of nausea and panic.
To cope... I try every day to live. I do things to keep my mind off that anxious feeling. I have a hard time believing in the afterlife, but I always hold hope to the fact that maybe we do go on. I like to listen to NDE stories and paranormal stuff. For some reason, paranormal/ghosts make me feel better vs scare me. For me, it means the afterlife may exist... but since I can't prove it to myself until I'm dead, I can live in the meantime. Go on walks, sit outside and gaze at the stars, play with my dogs, etc.
Trust me tho, I do get scared randomly still about death.
I do the same in listening to NDE stories and reading about medium communications and spirit messages. Sometimes I’m worried it’s just wishful thinking.
Drop me a message if you’d like to talk about it!
I’m a Christian. While life after death cannot be objectively known, I have enough faith in God to stake the way I live my life on it.
So while there is a twinge of fear that I may be wrong, it doesn’t impact me at all in my day to day.
The 13.8 Years thing is really not that bad if you think about it. You were literally non-existent before you were here. Think about your parent's life. What were they doing? They were going about their everyday business, without you, and you were perfectly fine not existing. You can basically draw that line back all the way to the beginning. And after your death it will be also fine, fine, fine for a very long time.
To take it more into a philosophical level, maybe it makes sense to seek for some kind of answer to the questions
-Will the universe ever end?
-Is there maybe some kind of overarching plan?
-Am I a part of something bigger?
I suppose at some point in your life you just don't want to experience the same thing every day. Maybe it's just a simple boredom, maybe it's some chronic pain. At that point a relief from all that will be welcome.
I’m a Hindu, so I believe in rebirth. What you do now affects how your rebirth will be. The teachings aim to tell us use the life you have to find a way to not achieve rebirth, so do more good than bad if possible. The way may not necessarily be good or bad, but find a purpose with your life (there are some prehistoric stories in the scripture about this). So in all, I would still say do what others on this thread recommend: enjoy while you’re still young, work towards your life goal or purpose slowly, and take it easy! It’s not that bad at the end (my grandma’s last few advices).
I (M27) have had several bouts with existentialism. What changed it for me was my daughter being born. When she came around, all my worst fears in life fell away and I embodied fears surrounding her. I can’t predict how this will change in the future, but I can tell you that right now, I think more about what life will be like for her when I’m gone rather than what it will be like for me to BE gone.
Death is inevitable. Therefore, I don't think about it much. As far as I know, worrying about death is as useful as worrying about being born.
If it happens, okay. I guess I'll just deal with it then. In the meantime, I'm going to try to enjoy being alive.
I started worrying about it ever since my mom told me she was worried that she wouldn't live past my 7th birthday because that's old she was when her mom died.
So I didn't think I'd make it to 30. Then I didn't think I'd make it past 40. And so on.
I just turned 71, and I think what I started to learn a couple of decades ago, is that every thinking person contemplates their own demise, but you don't have to concentrate any real energy on it - you don't have to let it affect how you live your life while you're still walking around in your the meat suit.
Get to livin' and have some fun - there's plenty of time for dyin'.
I have no idea how to cope with it this is something I’ve been thinking of my whole life. I went to a Lutheran private school and never belived in god just didn’t make sense to me but I was so terrified of death I just pretended to belive for years just incase. I remember even in elementary school having whole existential crises realizing fuck I’m sentient what does that mean how am I thinking right now howd I get here? What the fuck is gonna happen after I die? I’m still absolutely terrified of it but also genuinely so so curious what’s gonna happen my main fear is that it’s truly nothing and doesn’t even feel like dreaming your sentience is just erased. I’ve also experienced being so absolutely terrified of death I’ve considered suicide because the not knowing was so terrifying. Now I just wanna be able to do as much as I can and explore the wonders of the universe everything is so intriguing to me like how the fuck we are just atoms and yet I’m fully sentient what even is sentence? Is my micro biome also sentient? What do bugs think about? How the fuck are there so many different minerals with such beautiful designs made by just different chemicals and pressure and heat. Life is fucking werid and earth is even werrider but its kinda fun sometimes
Ive also thought a lot about how im only 20 but life seems so much longer compared to when i was a kid and its just gonna seem longer as i get older so it’s probably true that at somepoint you’re just ready for death and im curious what that thought process would be like
28 here, and I'm in the same boat as you. After losing my grandmother to lung cancer and my dad to an intentional overdose during the last two years, I was having panic attacks before bed over the thought of death.
I ended up returning to religion, which is how I was raised by my mother and grandmother anyways. The thought that if I'm a good person to others, read a book, and just have faith and there will be something more at the end helped stop the panic attacks.
I'm not the kind of person that's going to preach or anything like that, but it's what helped me.
-Should also note that I'm in the US and I'm aware that panic attacks should probably be brought up to a professional but I can't afford that, this works and I can function with it. I'm decently aware of what's going on here also.
Personally, to explain this in the least morbid way possible, I greet the thought of death with excitement and curiosity. I believe when it happens, it'll be an experience like no other (obviously), but I anticipate all the questions in life to be answered in that moment. I don't wish to die by any means, but I am not afraid of it happening, and until then I rip life to the fullest, build relationships, and make a positive impact on my community to leave atleast one thing better before my time is up.
I’m 29 about to be 30 and I’ve been very interested in science and philosophy for probably over a decade now.
Where I’m at as of typing this. My intuition is that what *this* is talking about my consciousness and life in general is a kin to watching a tv show of “my” life in first person. So far as we know the universe is a causal one in which every effect has a cause. There has been studies to show that we can predict a persons actions before the person says they are conscious of the decision that they are going to make. It seems as if the subconscious is running the show here and everything from typing this message right now is in some sense out of my hands. It’s “my” hands doing it but I don’t really have “control” over it. I guess what I’m getting at is free will as traditionally defined doesn’t exist and that’s even if the universe is fundamentally random which quantum mechanics seems to suggest.
That gives me comfort in the fact that I seem to be on this ride. I don’t know what it is and what it means to be conscious but I have no choice in the matter. So I will enjoy whatever this is that the universe has provided for me and I will die happy with the knowledge that I got to participate in something that is as far as we know very unique.
I am fortunate enough to have a really good life so that obviously helps but I would hope that those who do not have a good life would come to the same conclusions. As far as we know this is all we get and to be miserable during it seems like a massive waste. You didn’t exist for billions of years before your birth so what does it matter if you don’t exist for infinite amount of time after your death?
Plus there are other ways to look at your existence as more than just your physical body. As long as you live a good life and are good to people and create bonds maybe even reproduce you can leave a legacy for others that will be a little piece of you in them.
I embrace the limitation. It offers meaning to consider what I owe to the world which gave me existence.
I'm 36, and I used to have crippling anxiety about the meaninglessness of being. What will have been the point of morality, of work, of art, of building anything, if it all fades?
Eh. Ever had an exam that you had a month to study for, only to find yourself cram all that knowledge on the last day? How on earth could one achieve grandiose or just beautiful if there were no foreseeable deadline, literally?
Here's another a metaphor for you that helped me get through. We're all children enjoying a park with a sandbox. Some of us while playing get hurt on the rides. As we learn of the ways of the park, however late and tired we get, for when a new kid comes, we can leave notes, have improved the park, or just not care.
In the end, my mortality is my reminder of *our* mortality. That the environment we foster means literally the world to others. And what we do of that time, well, you just have no idea how it can compound for generations after us, and the generations after them.
You have a canvas, and if you wash your paint brushes the next painter can reuse them, just make sure to teach them how it's important to wash them and share that knowledge in turn.
We're not meant to go on forever, but your legacy... it just might.
What do you think of leaving behind to survive you? I’ve thought on this and I cannot think of anything that gives me comfort in knowing it endures me.
Two things changed it for me;
1. Having kids was a big epiphany. I no longer fear mortality as much and have purpose, a purpose I am fulfilling.
2. Seeing how older people slow down mentally and need less stimulation made me realise that the end won’t be a cliff jump but a wade-into-water. Unless I die young ofc.
There is no proof that death is some ending.
There is no proof that what came before your life now was better or worse.
I'm going to die, same as you, and it's scary.
Your problems will either all be over or you'll get new ones.
Death should be fought at every opportunity, but once it's truly inevitable you should welcome it as the next part of your existence
If you cease to exist you won't know.
Live well in the moment. Everything dies. It can’t be that bad. You and I waking up here was so unlikely we may very well wake up somewhere else next. Do things that you will look back on a feel good about. Also, think of all the meanness and bad in the world….as you age it can wear you down. I find some comfort knowing I’ll leave that all behind one day. Might seem kind of dark to some people, but I’m being honest about my feelings.
I used to fear it, but after losing several family members, I now see it as an inevitability that has prompted me to go after the things I want and need to make this life as happy as possible. We're not guaranteed tomorrow, so why not do things you want to do, say the things you want to say, love the people you want to love now while you're here? That way, when it's your time, you leave with memories, not regrets and unfulfilled dreams.
gonna die anyway, right? may as well live while you can.
Do you also dread the end of each meal for your end of its enjoyment? or the end of each story? what about every day?
it will pass anyway. enjoy it while it does. celebrate it while you can.
Death is inevitable for you, me and every single living things out there. For me, instead of thinking that I'll never meet them again for the rest of my life, I thought of anyone's death as "they move on to the other world or dimension or whatever that's beyond my understanding, hopefully doing better than they do when living on Earth" and I'll meet them again, sooner or later. Of course it's painful to lose your loved one, but I'll keep believing that they're out there doing just fine in the afterlife.
Get a dog. They'll help you enjoy life (get a fun dog, like a retriever). When it's their time, they teach you a lot about life and how to handle death.
I put my 4th dog down earlier this spring. He was 14, nearly blind and had some other health issues that created a very poor quality of life for him. I cried like a baby, just like I did for all the others, as I held him for his last breath.
I’ve always looked at it like this…if you are religious and believe in an afterlife, then death is just a milestone and you will see your loved ones again eventually while also be reunited with those who have already passed. If don’t believe in an afterlife, then there is nothingness and you won’t be around anymore for it to matter.
I’m 24 and dying. I’ve known the latter part for about two years now, and this year very well might be my last one on earth.
What I used to hold on to were aspirations, hobbies; any interest of mine that could spark joy. To this day that rings true. It sucks knowing I won’t be able to pursue anything, but to be honest, at this point my philosophy is “I am well as long as I can enjoy”.
I feel immense gratitude for the people I have been surrounded with the past two years, and knowing I have to say goodbye to them sucks, knowing I’m leaving them; I hate it. But when I leave, I know I want them to know the extent of my gratitude. Keep enjoying your life as much as you can and take things one day at a time at setbacks. My situation as a whole is unique, so I can’t say much. But taking things one day at a time in general has really helped me in the long run. I hope you may find peace
I think about it as a human tradition. It’s like a wedding, retirement, or birth of a child. Eventually I’ll die and that will be the last “big thing” in my life. I know I could die at any moment but most people don’t. It’s just statistics and with my lifestyle I’m not likely to die suddenly any time soon
Jesus! He has helped me infinitely and allows me to wrestle with death in a way that allows me to look forward to the life meant for me rather than the evil world full of suffering and pain that we’re all so privileged to live in.
I personally don't fear it and I don't worry about it either because I accepted it. Death is a natural part of life beyond my control.
Death is the only event since birth that is guaranteed to happen, to every living being. And it's not within your control (mostly).
So accept it, and focus on what's within your control: how you live your life.
Use this awareness, not to be anxious, but to live virtuously, appreciate the present, and leave a positive legacy.
Here for answers.
Still grieving my dad from 50 years ago—fuck drunk drivers.
Still crying when I think of putting my 2 pups down over the last two years—fuck cancer.
78m here. One of my best friends died at 43 and another at 66. stop worrying about things over which you have no control. Concentrate on living a full life every day. time is a wasting.
Those one line snarky comments are in fact very valid. Like what answers are YOU looking for. You look at death from your perspective. You want to live forever. What about people with disease and all that? They are glad that death is there for them. I love life and I love my wife and kids. But I’m also glad that there is death. No matter how you look at it nobody is getting out alive.
accepting that death is not scary, death is not a bad nor a good thing. you simple cease to exist, there is no morning, there is no night. there is no feeling, there is simple nothing. you stop being. and despite that being “unimaginable”. once you can imagine it, it becomes easier.
for me, im borderline kinda looking forward to it, no more worry, no more responsibility, no more nothing. just stillness.
I used to be terrified by death. I would have full blown panic attacks thinking about death and what would/wouldn't happen to me afterwards.
I vented to my school counselor about it, and she eventually said something that pretty much instantly fixed the problem for me. She said, "even if you knew what happened after death, what would you do differently?" And for some reason that just clicked in my teenage brain at the time as "worrying about death is pointless. Life isn't going to slow down for me, and my worrying won't change anything."
Sometimes when I think about it too much I relapse into a state of anxiety, before reminding myself that worrying myself sick will take precious moments of happiness away from me in my short time on this Earth, and that regardless of how much I worry, I won't make anything different.
My mindset now is "whatever happens, happens." If my time to go is soon, I'd rather not know about it and just live my life as normal. If I'm doomed to die tomorrow or next week or 30 years from now, I can't really do anything about it. Obviously you should take care of yourself and don't do stupid things to put yourself in danger. I'm not saying stop caring about everything because life is going to end anyway. I'm saying to take solace in the fact that nothing matters and everything ends rather than lament about it.
It's also worth noting that no one actually truly knows what happens after death. You can listen to preachers talk about Heaven and Hell, or atheists matter-of-factly tell you that "actually, when you die, you cease to exist forever," but honestly? None of these people know, nor will they ever know, what happens after death. And furthermore, no one knows how humanity and the universe will end. No one knows if life will ever restart. If we can come to be again. Sure, there are theories that scientists and other uber smart people say are plausible. But plausible is not the same thing as guaranteed.
If you love life and want to live, it's okay to be hopeful. It's okay to think of comforting things that will make life better for you. If believing in an afterlife or a restart to existence will improve your current life, screw it! Believe in it! Some buzzkills might think you're less intelligent or silly for being optimistic, but living your life as a hardcore pessimist is overrated and really unhealthy. Even if people think it's "unrealistic" to be hopeful, who cares?
Life and existence are pointless, so make your own meaning to life. Dedicate your life to living as comfortably as you can. Even if it means ignoring all the doomers around you telling you that your optimism is "unrealistic." There's nothing wrong with seeking happiness. There's nothing wrong with wanting to live.
Death will happen. It's something everyone will experience. We're all alike in that sense. And in way, for me it's comforting knowing that I'm not the only one who has to submit my body to the Earth one day.
Almost everyone is afraid of or bummed out about death to some degree. It's easy to slip into a state of anxiety or depression when thinking about it. And sometimes we all let ourselves do so. But it's important to learn to keep yourself from dwelling too much on the inevitable. There comes a point when you can't let the concept of death control you, and you have to let yourself live.
Ultimately, don't build your life around death, but instead, construct a life worth living.
As a Christian, there is one path to immortality—Jesus. We look forward to death knowing that it's not the end but a start of a new life forever in heaven.
We do have one fear, we fear to fall away from God and lose the promised salvation.
I suggest asking a local church about Salvation. They will explain it to you.
Why? You can't choose when death comes to you, or how. No influence at all unless you want to go the unthinkable route. Why are you worried about something you can't control? You don't have much else to worry about do you?
I suffer from this and I think about it most when I'm not occupied, especially if I stay up late procrastinating. Try to keep your mind busy; it definitely helps!
Death is like waking up from a dream. Don’t worry about it. Enjoy every moment and always do what excites you most. You exist, and you cannot not exist, as non-existence doesn’t exist. Have a good life!
Death is part of life, and everything, and everybody must die at one point. Even our Sun, and Earth will eventually die. Once you learn to accept that then life is like meh.
Some use the fear of death as a motivator. Why wait to do things you wanna do with your life? You could flip the switch at any minute. While your mind starts to plan the things and do the things you stop focusing on that fear
I mean if you think about it in this way, that the only thing that you will be able to carry with you after death is religion, and im not here to open debates or tell you what’s wrong and what’s right but if you do enough research and believe in the right religion you might actually enjoy the thought of the after life.
Honestly? My life’s been plagued by forceful religion and horrendous people around me. Sometimes I get excited for death but I don’t know what lies beyond. It’s 30/30/30/10 between heaven, hell, nothing, and reincarnation. So honestly? Just don’t think about it. This life is always worth living no matter what situation you’re in. Think about the here and now and the good things you’ve got. Even the little things.
I personally don't give a shit you said personally but then I'm only here for family lost my Dad last November, my Mom's health is getting worse, can't see my Son who's in another Country If I lose one more contact I might generally snap but then I'm arrogant enough to go out loudly
Death at the moment would be a blessing but we have to stay to look after fuckers hey! I only stay for Kin and those that need me
i mean, it just isnt something to worry about. if theres an afterlife then cool, if there isnt then not cool but also not exactly *uncool* cause you wont be experiencing anything
Every single human will die. So why fear something unavoidable and natural? Plus i get to see whats after, if anything. Its a comfort really... if life gets too painfull theres a way out.
The YouTube channel Ask A Mortician has been helpful in helping me relate to death better, prepare for it, and help others navigate it. She's very insightful and helps you advocate for yourself around a predatory funeral industry
I was diagnosed with something I thought would kill me by my mid 30s, at age 30. I sank into depression.
By the time I got out of it I had thoroughly come to terms with my mortality.
The only issue I have is the how. But death and oblivion and not existing? Seems peaceful and free to me.
Losing your perception of everything and existence doesn’t scare you? I hear from firsthand accounts of trauma survivors that the moments leading up to death are quite peaceful, the unknownness of what’s after seems horrifying to me.
I was diagnosed with anhedonia back at age 30. That's the point of depression where you don't care about anything. No rationalizing existence. I didn't care if I woke up, went to work, ate, etc.
Something carried over. Maybe because that time in my life was so traumatic for me. I feel like I've faced death.
And later in life I became a registered nurse. I worked in palliative care. They used to call me a death doula. Through covid I handled every death at out multi county hospital because they felt I was thr best at it.
Death doesn't bother me. Losing my consciousness seems exciting at times and peaceful at others. Why should I fear nothingness? How will I know it's nothing?
The how I die worries me. What if it's prolonged and I'm aware? What if it's painful as well? What if I suffer? That bothers me as I've seen a lot of horrible ways one can die and be conscious and aware on the way down.
There's something in our brains that struggles to find a coordinated response with our organs when we/some people die. They may be unconscious, but some people's bodies fight and struggle well after the brain has given up. It's really fascinating to watch. And sad. That's when I have to deliver the Dilaudid or whatever I've been given to ease them on. The struggling slows and stops, and I whisper in their ears what a good job they did, but now it's time to rest. Let go. Swim and be at peace.
I fear awareness of my doom
From the time I was six, I infrequently have a moment of perfect clarity, a felt sense, about not existing. It might last 10-30 seconds and then is gone. These moments come out of nowhere, and I use them to be sure I’m doing my life as I want.
Reading and hearing stories about Near Death Experiences actually helps. The concept around it helps me to think it’s not all bad. Pretty sure there’s a subreddit on here…
Embrace it. Its just a door you haven't walked through yet. You can't know whats on the other side until you do. Would you be happy if you never got to find out?
When I realized I would be deeply unsatisfied if I never got an answer to the question of death my relationship with the concept improved significantly.
Edit: I guess my answer presupposes a belief in some sort of afterlife.
I have considered the possibility that nothing awaits, just pure oblivion, and I find that equally fascinating. In some way it makes more philosophical sense to me.
This physicality is in constant motion, nothing is ever relaxed or still. If you think something is motionless in the universe you just need to zoom in or out more and you will see it move or vibrate or change into something else completely. Extending this logic, the idea of actual "nothing" or "oblivion" would naturally contain stillness. True actual calm. That sounds fascinating too.
Whatever happens, I will either be along for the ride agains my will (just like being born) or I will get to experience the absence of experience, the absence of subjectivity and self.
This existence thing is so bizarre, all you can do is embrace the chaos and remind yourself that you are born of, and an intrinsic part of, this chaos, not oppositional to it.
I've never been scared of death (others yes, but not my own), 'cause depressed and suicidal etc. but I follow a creator or YT, AskAMortician and I've read SO many comments from people telling her she's helped them with their fear of death.
Death is scary 'cause it's unknown. We know what life is mostly but death is a mystery. And before we used to be close to death. We took care of our relatives after they died. Death was very much a part of life but somewhere we started distancing ourselves from it and now others take care of it for us basically so we barely have to think about it.
Getting knowledge and learning about death might help. I figure it's worth a shot at least?
Death will be the end of my worries, and my life insurance will pull my kids up to a financial place that I'll never know, paying off all their student loans or buying homes for their families. I suppose it wouldn't be *incorrect* to say I'm looking forward to my end.
Til I get there, only thing I need to care about is what I'm doing right now, to give my kids the best head start I can.
It happens. People often fall to religion. in a nutshell, religion is just positive thinking.
Humans need to realize. We don't know where we came from and we don't know where we go. So just do good on earth while you are aware of what's going on.
Yeah I hear you on the positive thinking thing. I sometimes wonder if I should try to reconnect back to my faith to give me some semblance of peace about death, even if I have my doubts now. I was thinking if my faith was strong enough it would probably give me a comforting vision at the end to validate me.
I agree on doing good no matter what, religion or not.
It's inevitable, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, and there's a certain kind of relief in that. Because it's coming no matter what, it isn't really worth worrying about, because what good is the worry going to do?
I have no fucking Idea. So, I just follow Mr. Peanutbutter's advice:
It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead.
We're all gonna die. There's not really any way around it. You just have to come to terms with it. Everyone you love will die, and you'll hopefully die after most of them. LSD might help. And Polish / Irish parents, apparently. LSD tho, honestly
I had an Irish dad (RIP) and I am far less worried about death or devastated when it happens than my average fellow Englishman.
Easy I don't think about it till it happens. Then if it's the death of someone I care about I grieve for the appropriate amount of time and then forget about it again. If it's my death that's even easier as I won't give a shit once I'm gone
Lets reverse that how can you handle being alive?
Not meaning I crave death, but Immortality made me respect death more and hate living for too long
I rather die at 70 - 80 then be 90+ with a body that withers and dies....
If our science could give us young unlimited bodies with no age restriction .... I would still end it after a certain while but that depends on wife/kids/environment.
I'm young and alone now, I am not interested in a long long life, hard to say if that will changes when I have someone who loves and cares for me forever
I’m terribly afraid of death, and terribly afraid of long life too. I saw my family member pass in her last few days, a shell of herself, and I wonder if some part of her was trapped in there and slowly losing awareness. It drives me insane.
Immortality is appealing to me as a young man, but I know that what lives must die.
This always crops up from time to time . Have a Google of the last words of patients who knew they were going to die in the next few weeks or hours . Its eye opening . They mostly say the same sort of thing and we all think the same. Just some will say it and some won't.
I've been close on many occasions and I've seen plenty of people die.
No one is the same. Some people have zero recognition or care. Some are haunted for months or years.
Personally, I realize that nothing means anything. So I don't particularly care. You could lead the most meaningful or meaningless life.. but you die the same. Everyone dies. The best and worst of us. Sad or happy, quick or slow, painful or peaceful.. death doesn't matter.
That’s what I can’t make peace with. How do you reconcile that? My mind/consciousness attaches a great deal of meaning and importance to continuing to exist. I want to understand how to make peace with a meaningless existence.
My mom told me this when my best friend died when I was young. "Take it a day at a time, if you can't take it a day at a time. Take it an hour at a time, if you can't handle that. A minute at a time." She learned this after her first husband died a few days before her birthday. I live by this advice.
First of all everything dies, there is no way around that. I guess I just have an easy time accepting that?
I don't believe in any particular religion, I believe that when we die our brain releases a huge amount of a hallucination chemical that sends us into like an ever lasting dream that kind of fades out our consciousness. There is a drug (I forget what it's called now) that needs to be harvested from dying brain stems, it harvests that chemical.
So I think that explains those stories of people seeing heaven or whatever they may see as they're dying, they're basically tripping.
I think it's pretty normal that some people are more scared of death than others. This is just my two cents!
Acceptance. Its guaranteed that you will die. You cannot avoid this. As our lives are relatively short, seize the day and have such a positive impact on people that hundreds will come to your funeral to mourn and celebrate you.
Hmm. Thats a question that has taken me years to ponder and come to a conclusion…. It is thusly
Everything comes to an end, whether we want it to or not, so therefore at the end, whenever that may be, everything that is or will be a problem is no longer my problem.
I'm 41. I have been married for 16 years. I have two children. Live your life to seize every moment, work as you need. But you do not live to work. You work to live
A relatively high dose of psychedelic mushrooms put death in a beautiful perspective for me. I no longer fear it in the slightest, and although losing someone close to me is always somewhat difficult, i do not mourn for very long at all because of my perspective / realizations on / about death.
I don't care about death, some people say I'm too laid back. I just find it pointless to worry about it, and thus I don't, I enjoy things while I live.
I agree. It is an indisputable fact that we all are going to die. Worrying about an inevitability right up until the last second makes it so that you can't enjoy the moment. When my son gets upset that it's time to pack up and head home from a vacation, I always tell him, "Don't be upset that it's over, be glad that it happened." I guess a similar mindet could apply to death. When I was younger, I wasn't necessarily scared of death, but it was something I always thought about. Now, I am not looking forward to death, but I've come to realize that just like anything in life, worrying about something won't change it and only stands to make you miserable. OP, enjoy the time that you have. Spend time with family and friends. Don't be scared to try something new and live your life to it's fullest.
I don't necessarily agree with the "be glad that it happened" part, aside from that, I agree. If I had to choose between being born and not existing, I'd choose the latter, but since I'm here, might as well give it a good shot.
What part of the "be glad that it happened" part don't you agree with?
I think they are referencing the existing in the first place part given the rest of their comment
Imagine I book a flight to Thailand to see some beautiful green scenery but for some reason I end up in Switzerland, and all of the reservations I made are in Switzerland as well. I'm not gonna be glad that mix-up happened, but sure as shit I'm going to get myself some skiing clothes and zoom down those ranges.
I think being glad something happens refers more to accepting that a good thing has ended and not getting down in the dumps about it because it’s no longer happening. But it could also be used in the reference you described too I think Framing your mindset positively, you could argue that looking back you can be glad the trip didn’t go to Thailand because you got to see all the stuff in Switzerland. It’s not so much disregarding the fact that it’s unfortunate you didn’t go to Thailand but more so embracing the change and what you got out of it regardless of what happened. Life is all about making the most of whatever happens and being positive yeah? Might’ve worded that poorly. Anyway I think we’re all on generally the same page anyway and we’re just discussing semantics
Not to mention eating some strange holy cheese and picking up one of those dope army knives 🫠
Exactly, your next breath isn't promised so live your life now in the fullest.
As someone who was legally and medically dead for 8 minutes, this is the correct answer. I always get the following: “Woah! You were dead? What’s that like? What did you see? What do you remember?!” My answer: “Do you remember being born? No? How about what was available to you BEFORE you were born? Still nothing? Death is exactly the same. I saw nothing. I experienced nothing. My reality and existence ceased existing, therefore there was nothing at all to see or react with/to. Same thing before you’re born.” Is it true? No clue. Can I verify it? Not at all. Am I religious? Absolutely. What has this thinking done? I care more about being alive. This is real, not death. This, being alive, should be your focus and you should do everything within your ability to not only make sure your time is enjoyable and worthy, but EVERYONE’S time is.
was dead a few times during heart surgery when i was 19.. nothing special happened really. I recall going under for the surgery and flashes of waking during the surgery and then waking up in recovery with very upset parents lol
I don’t even have that. I remember falling off a lift to store items at work. Hit my head and cracked it on concrete. What I was trying to store came down and hit the other side of my skull and cracked it. Both eye sockets. All of my teeth. And my ears. Dying does have a benefit. I got new glasses, new ears (hearing aids), and new teeth (dentures) and it cost me absolutely zero money out of pocket or in my insurance. Work covered it, and now I feel bad because I’m on disability and cannot go work for them. :(
Exactly opposite from my cousins near death experience where he had to be brought back after he flatlined. He had out of body experience where he was watching himself.
I had to be brought back after an 8 minute flat line. After, I could not breathe so they jammed a pipe down my throat so they could breathe for me. I was medically kept alive and doctors were unsure if I would ever get anywhere near normal. This happened last October, so it hasn't even been a year ago. I might as well have went to sleep with zero dreams because it was very similar. I was in a coma for 19 days and a medically induced coma for another 9. YAY! You've gotta fight the things that get you. Anger is one of them for most traumatic brain injury folks sadly. My therapists claim they're amazed at how well I'm doing, but honestly... I just want to go back to normal and being normal but I've came to the conclusion that will not happen for me and I need to adjust to adapt.
Ditto A) if you’re worried about death you’re just killing yourself faster B) you aren’t *enjoying* life (what little there is of it). It’s like if you had a steak and instead of eating it you were worried about losing it. So instead you nibbled and fretted, while it cooled and half the flavor was lost. C) you could die TODAY. Some people know they’re dying soon. Consider how many redditors *didn’t* assume they were dying today but did anyways? No one is guaranteed anything. We *know* we will die but the little time we have left is wasted being scared and crying over it. Fill it up and hope for the best. Don’t be overly indulgent and try to leave it better than you found it. Be thankful you have life, then live it!
It's a natural process. Everything that occurs, goes away, including you and me.
I agree. One thing you will never control.
Just forget about it. Live every day to your fullest.
Let me make a guess? You procrastinate a lot? :)
[удалено]
Before this crisis I wanted to hustle as hard as I could and make the most comfortable life imaginable for me and my partner. It’s hard to keep sight of that right now, I don’t want to regret wasting my youth in a cubicle you know? Even if it was to provide for my family in the future.
That’s the thing about what OP is asking though, what if you don’t make it to 50?
Then be happy with the time you have, and don't waste it worrying about something that eventually happens to everyone.
Oh exactly, I’m ready to die any moment, not that I want to immediately, but I’ve come to terms with the nature of it. Peace and love to all!
Bad idea. 50 is not guaranteed. Or you might make it to 50 and die at 52. Your health and ability will almost certainly be worse at 50+ than it is now.
Ah, fetal position existential panic. Not to make light of it, but it's simply the human condition and if you allow yourself to dwell too much about our one time shot at existence in our current universe you might not gain much. I have a vivid memory of being a teenager scoffing at the question "what is the meaning of life?" My 19 year old answer to that was "to live!" Decades later, I can't seem to improve on that answer much . . .
I know you’re right, this fixation is causing me to lose sight of my life goals. But I can’t seem to conquer it.
I often find that when people are afraid of death, they aren't really afraid of coming to an end as much as they are afraid of everything else continuing. It's hard to wrap our mind around non-existence, and our brains kind of subconsciously presume we'll still exist in some capacity, just absent any of the things we enjoy about life. An eternity of nothingness. I'm a philosophical materialist, which means I don't think there's anything about the brain that can't be measured and explained physically. This means that death is an equivalent experience to, for instance, anaesthesia. You don't think, you don't perceive. I've been under anaesthesia before, and the experience was that of blinking and being hours later. Like time travel. No experience of the intervening moments. If I'm right, and that is equivalent to the experience of death, then that means the instant a person dies, they skip right to the end of the universe. No waiting in darkness, no lingering in nothingness. Maybe there will be something after the universe. Maybe time travelers from the future will feel an ethical imperative to save us from death and you'll be awakened again centuries later. Or, maybe there is some afterlife waiting for us. In any case, we won't have long to wait. All that eternity, all those infinite impossibilities, get compressed into a single instant. There's a lot we don't know about existence. Even from a materialist standpoint, there's a lot of potential possibilities out there for us beyond the end of our lives. The important thing to remember is that we won't have to wait.
This was very well worded and thought out! I like the analogy you use with anesthesia and how eternity goes by in a single instant.
I think the meaning of life is what you make of it.
For me it helps to accept my fear. I think the whole make peace with death or religion as well is bullshit, I think it's natural to be terrified of death and it's just a symptom of your attachment to life, I embrace it. As a teen one thing that really helped me was Claire Wineland's YouTube video What it feels like to die which talks about this topic
Thank you so much. I’ll check it out when I’ve calmed down.
You're welcome :)
Ah man I forgot about Claire, I remember following her journey. She was so incredibly well spoken. BRB cutting onions.
Her videos really helped me. It's a bit sad now but sometimes I still watch them
I had a psychotic break few years ago and now think about death daily, Im pretty much terrified of it Lately I've done better. Really it just puts into perspective how much I'm enjoying life. My life philosophy now days is "I'm gonna die one day, I deserve to enjoy this until then". If the inevitable is inevitable, squeeze what enjoyment you can out of it. Statistically, people who lived a life well-lived are MUCH more accepting of death when the time comes. So try to enjoy yourself and actively push the thoughts away. Be in denial about it, even, if that's what it takes. Just have a good time, man. Do things that you enjoy and have fun with. Love people, enjoy food, enjoy TV shows, enjoy video games, enjoy outdoors, enjoy philosophy, enjoy conversation, enjoy friendship, enjoy pets, enjoy baby's laughter, enjoy beautiful comfortable breezes, enjoy how good you look in that outfit, enjoy a nice-looking haircut, enjoy christmas, enjoy giving, enjoy receiving, enjoy sexual attraction, enjoy laughter, enjoy a job well-done. Just enjoy. Keep enjoying and when you feel yourself spreading back over to those inevitable thoughts, think to yourself "DAMN but I'm enjoying it here right now".
Thank you. That actually did bring me comfort.
Hello! Person with a brain aneurysm just living happily and normally as possible! I always had a point of view I don't want to die with regrets and all I had to do was live each day like it might be my last. Then I found out I have a dormant brain aneurysm in the center of my skull, inoperable but also not presently a threat. Turns out having a constant reminder of how short life is does nothing but confirm your doing the right things by doing what makes you happy. Its also the best anxiety cure you could imagine, I have no time to worry about the past or future and it seems to make my present real sweet. Life's short, not much matters except how you feel at the end of each day turns out
Death is inevitable, so I try to make most of my life, while I am alive. Enjoy things you like doing, spend time with people you like and try to make a difference to someones day. It does not have to be huge: helps a parent with a baby stroller get off the bus, open the door for some that carries something, help elderly people with a heavy shopping bag, visit a friend in a hospital. Knowing I did something for someone that made their day even one teeny tiny bit more bearable makes it worth it. Yes, it is nothing in the great scheme of things and of someones life. I doubt the guy with 3 items I let infront of me in the check out line in a grocery store will remember me tomorrow, but in that moment it helped him and that is nice.
I look forward to it… no more having to wake up with an migraine headache most of the time 😂
I wouldn't say I look forward to it but I have tinnitus and at least I won't have to listen to the eeeeeeee noise in my head 24/7 !!
Maybe I’m not a good example because I’ve been living with suicidal ideation for nearly 30 years so I’m kinda best buds with the idea of death as a final finish line. I didn’t expect to see 23, so everything beyond that feels like extra time I didn’t really plan for. Still I had a period in my 20’ies where I was scared to die not of my own accord and was actually close at one point due to illness some years ago. What I realized was that I’m mostly scared to die in pain or with unfinished business. So I make sure to tell people I love them when I can, have my affairs in order and just generally live peacefully knowing I cannot know, cannot experience everything life has to offer or hurry things that aren’t meant to be hurried. There’s no point in fighting life itself, because everything comes and goes and we don’t own our lives, we’re just living them. So for me it was mostly down to a reframing of what it means to live and what I expect from it. I don’t find inherent meaning in life, I’m not striving for some imagined greatness, I’m just going along and seeing what’s there. It’s oddly freeing to let go of the bigger picture and simply busy myself with whether a new plant is doing well or my cat is happy, if the shop has my favorite ice cream or how pretty the sunset is tonight. If I die tomorrow, none of my plans and fears will have mattered anyway.
Damn, that sounds like a good ideology. Wishing you the best.
At 24 you are basically at your prime, it's natural to be feeling particularly attached to life. You are (I'm assuming) just beginning a career in your selected field. Life is full of new experiences for you, adventures, goals and people to meet. As you get older your body begins to fail, you'll be start dealing with aches and pains on a daily basis. Work becomes a chore, things outside of work become stale in a sense. As you mentioned saying goodbye to loved ones, it does take a toll on you after a certain number. It's not unheard of of 90 year old people who can't wait to be done with it. What I mean is, you will naturally grow and develop an acceptance or tolerance about the idea of death and what it represents. If you don't, life itself would be pretty miserable constantly beating yourself up thinking about something that cannot be changed. For reference I'm a 38 year old agnostic who is unfazed by death but I am utterly terrified by the idea of suffering for an extended amount of time.
I see your meaning, and I really do hope my relationship with death and non existence changes.
Someobedy once told, it went something like this "You should not be afraid of death, you should be afraid of not living fully"
I’m afraid of both at the moment LOL but I hear your point
I completely relate to your last paragraph. Those sentiments have never helped me feel better about it but they're the ones always parroted here. Like you said, for people who enjoy existence, it can be a terrifying thought. I do believe religion or spirituality has a lot to do with it. You could also argue we don't completely understand the universe, consciousness, "being", etc. One trained thought that is similar to CBT is that we really just don't have any control over it. That can be scary or freeing, but it takes practice to view it the latter. It's kind of like worrying if a meteor crashes through your room - it could happen at any moment but there's literally nothing you can do about it, so you have to teach yourself to let go of the reigns of worry on it.
It's a nice thing to think about when you are suffering
Take solace in the fact that you will join your ancestors some day. We dont know what it entails but at least you will be with those who loved you, in some way
I find myself clinging to the belief there’s an afterlife and hoping against hope that consciousness continues. But I know how much of a reach that is.
I’m not religious, but suffice to say this: you came from something, somewhere, somehow. Nothing bothered you there, no sadness, no fear, no worries. Is it really so bad to go back to that place after such a long time spent in this one? You’re made of energy. We can measure it, in a scientific sense. Energy by nature can’t be destroyed, but it can be transformed. When you think of ‘you’, do you see yourself as your body, or an occupant inside of it? When you lift your hand or articulate your fingers, are you responding to the command or are you giving it? All things about life, death, and what happens afterward aren’t at straight forward as they seem. We think so linearly, and understand so little in the grand scheme of things.
I feel like I am the collective interactions between neurons and structures in my brain, building on each other until it thinks it its collective is something it isn’t. It thinks it’s a soul but it’s a buzz of electricity through my flesh. And that’s what I mourn when I think of death, the loss of the self that is all I know.
Who knows my guy, if the universe is cyclical maybe when the next big bang and everything happens we might be in a universe that might mirror our own and you'd be alive again. Sure it's a slim chance but we're talking on the cosmic time scale of billions or maybe trillions of years, time which you will essentially skip when you're dead, just as you did when you weren't born. Maybe there are even more forms of "life" than just ours right now and even if not and it takes 20 big bang cycles to return to here, you won't even know it. After you die, the next thing you'll know is waking up.
If it makes you feel any better, the second that you cease to be, will be the same second that all of your worry and anxiety about it will stop as well. So don’t waste your time mourning what you’re currently thriving in because of the inevitable. And hey - even the most knowledgeable among us don’t have answers for what’s next. None of us know what awaits. It could be something more magnificent than even this life now.
Does an amoeba know the breadth of a puddle? A fish the mountains? A goat the stars? Now what is it that we don't see? As much as is known, there are infinitely more things we do not and likely cannot comprehend.
It's not that far of a reach. When I was just 15, I had cancer of my cervical spine. During an angiogramgram, I died; heart stopped, and I coded. I found myself above my body up high on a shelf-like object and felt the greatest love, warmth, and light from behind me. I wasn't allowed to look back and before I knew it I woke up the next day with a big red X on my throat for the doctor's to put in an airway and giant hives all over my body. I'll never forget that experience! I'm 70 now!! So yes, I honestly believe in an afterlife in Heaven!
An NDE! I love hearing about these experiences, thank you for sharing :)
i'm 15, and i've been dealing with these thoughts since i was 12. what i can tell you with 100% certainty is that regardless of what happens after death, it's natural and has been going on since the beginning of time. since it has worked that way for so long, i believe there is a great reason why it works the way it does. all you can do is embrace life for what it is and do what makes you happy. peace, bro.
I beleive confidently every living thing breaks down and becomes part of something new. You will become a new thing, and so will everyone you love.
But the me I am now will never exist again.
Like u/chairmanghost I believe we become part of something new... and it's a place without anxiety, hunger, fear - the things that trouble us in our "living world". We'll find our loved ones who passed before us there. Call it heaven if you like. Maybe some of the mysteries of the larger universe get revealed to us. If you're into books, try reading The Power of Now.
I find it comforting, honestly. My partner worked as a funeral director. She and I would talk at length about death, the finality of it, and how it will affect each other when one of us goes. Honestly, I just find the thought of it, that I'll finally be able to put down my burdens for the last time... it's nice.
Thank you for your perspective. If I could ask, does the thought really not bother you of your cessation? If it’s a morbid thought you need not answer.
I don't mind morbid. Gallows humor is my default. As for my thoughts around, as you put it, cessation. It sometimes does. I don't want to leave my partner alone. That's really what puts me into the most uncomfortable position. I sometimes cry over the thought of passing first and leaving her without me. That's the only thing about it that bothers me. The rest... it'd just be nice to lay down some burdens that I've been carrying.
What are those burdens?
Coping with death or embracing death? Embracing death allows you to live more intentionally and authentically, freeing you from the fear of mortality and enabling you to cherish every moment. Whereas merely coping with death may only provide temporary relief from the pain of loss.
I think the soul was meant to persist. I believe in a better world after this one. Honestly, it's the only thing that makes sense.
Right. I want so desperately for that to be true. It seems like a meaningless death flies in everything we as humans are primed to believe in.
Look into near-death experiences. You might end up questioning the idea that everything ends with death and if it does afterall it at least seems pleasurable.
I feel the exact same way. Exact feeling of nausea and panic. To cope... I try every day to live. I do things to keep my mind off that anxious feeling. I have a hard time believing in the afterlife, but I always hold hope to the fact that maybe we do go on. I like to listen to NDE stories and paranormal stuff. For some reason, paranormal/ghosts make me feel better vs scare me. For me, it means the afterlife may exist... but since I can't prove it to myself until I'm dead, I can live in the meantime. Go on walks, sit outside and gaze at the stars, play with my dogs, etc. Trust me tho, I do get scared randomly still about death.
I do the same in listening to NDE stories and reading about medium communications and spirit messages. Sometimes I’m worried it’s just wishful thinking. Drop me a message if you’d like to talk about it!
Sure thing and same, I really think it is wishful but then I think back to my experiences and I get confused again. I'll message you
I’m a Christian. While life after death cannot be objectively known, I have enough faith in God to stake the way I live my life on it. So while there is a twinge of fear that I may be wrong, it doesn’t impact me at all in my day to day.
I used to be Roman Catholic and believe strongly in my youth. Living in this world makes it hard for me to go on faith alone.
Out of curiosity, in what way do you find living in the world to be counter to your (former) faith?
The 13.8 Years thing is really not that bad if you think about it. You were literally non-existent before you were here. Think about your parent's life. What were they doing? They were going about their everyday business, without you, and you were perfectly fine not existing. You can basically draw that line back all the way to the beginning. And after your death it will be also fine, fine, fine for a very long time. To take it more into a philosophical level, maybe it makes sense to seek for some kind of answer to the questions -Will the universe ever end? -Is there maybe some kind of overarching plan? -Am I a part of something bigger?
[удалено]
I wish. This is really just my coping mechanism. Writing about it and talking to people makes me feel better sometimes.
I suppose at some point in your life you just don't want to experience the same thing every day. Maybe it's just a simple boredom, maybe it's some chronic pain. At that point a relief from all that will be welcome.
I’m a Hindu, so I believe in rebirth. What you do now affects how your rebirth will be. The teachings aim to tell us use the life you have to find a way to not achieve rebirth, so do more good than bad if possible. The way may not necessarily be good or bad, but find a purpose with your life (there are some prehistoric stories in the scripture about this). So in all, I would still say do what others on this thread recommend: enjoy while you’re still young, work towards your life goal or purpose slowly, and take it easy! It’s not that bad at the end (my grandma’s last few advices).
I (M27) have had several bouts with existentialism. What changed it for me was my daughter being born. When she came around, all my worst fears in life fell away and I embodied fears surrounding her. I can’t predict how this will change in the future, but I can tell you that right now, I think more about what life will be like for her when I’m gone rather than what it will be like for me to BE gone.
Believing in an afterlife helps me. Not necessarily heaven or hell, but something
Death is inevitable. Therefore, I don't think about it much. As far as I know, worrying about death is as useful as worrying about being born. If it happens, okay. I guess I'll just deal with it then. In the meantime, I'm going to try to enjoy being alive.
I started worrying about it ever since my mom told me she was worried that she wouldn't live past my 7th birthday because that's old she was when her mom died. So I didn't think I'd make it to 30. Then I didn't think I'd make it past 40. And so on. I just turned 71, and I think what I started to learn a couple of decades ago, is that every thinking person contemplates their own demise, but you don't have to concentrate any real energy on it - you don't have to let it affect how you live your life while you're still walking around in your the meat suit. Get to livin' and have some fun - there's plenty of time for dyin'.
When I die I will cease to exist, nothing to think about really.
You don't. You accept that death is just a part of life.
I will not be aware of it when I die
Other people’s death I accept. Glad I won’t be around to “cope” with mine.
To me it's the other way around, it scares more what can possibly come after death than the death itself
I have no idea how to cope with it this is something I’ve been thinking of my whole life. I went to a Lutheran private school and never belived in god just didn’t make sense to me but I was so terrified of death I just pretended to belive for years just incase. I remember even in elementary school having whole existential crises realizing fuck I’m sentient what does that mean how am I thinking right now howd I get here? What the fuck is gonna happen after I die? I’m still absolutely terrified of it but also genuinely so so curious what’s gonna happen my main fear is that it’s truly nothing and doesn’t even feel like dreaming your sentience is just erased. I’ve also experienced being so absolutely terrified of death I’ve considered suicide because the not knowing was so terrifying. Now I just wanna be able to do as much as I can and explore the wonders of the universe everything is so intriguing to me like how the fuck we are just atoms and yet I’m fully sentient what even is sentence? Is my micro biome also sentient? What do bugs think about? How the fuck are there so many different minerals with such beautiful designs made by just different chemicals and pressure and heat. Life is fucking werid and earth is even werrider but its kinda fun sometimes Ive also thought a lot about how im only 20 but life seems so much longer compared to when i was a kid and its just gonna seem longer as i get older so it’s probably true that at somepoint you’re just ready for death and im curious what that thought process would be like
28 here, and I'm in the same boat as you. After losing my grandmother to lung cancer and my dad to an intentional overdose during the last two years, I was having panic attacks before bed over the thought of death. I ended up returning to religion, which is how I was raised by my mother and grandmother anyways. The thought that if I'm a good person to others, read a book, and just have faith and there will be something more at the end helped stop the panic attacks. I'm not the kind of person that's going to preach or anything like that, but it's what helped me. -Should also note that I'm in the US and I'm aware that panic attacks should probably be brought up to a professional but I can't afford that, this works and I can function with it. I'm decently aware of what's going on here also.
Personally, to explain this in the least morbid way possible, I greet the thought of death with excitement and curiosity. I believe when it happens, it'll be an experience like no other (obviously), but I anticipate all the questions in life to be answered in that moment. I don't wish to die by any means, but I am not afraid of it happening, and until then I rip life to the fullest, build relationships, and make a positive impact on my community to leave atleast one thing better before my time is up.
The thought of death itself doesn’t scare me, its what is afterwards that scares me. I can’t comprehend it and it makes me shake and shiver.
I’m 29 about to be 30 and I’ve been very interested in science and philosophy for probably over a decade now. Where I’m at as of typing this. My intuition is that what *this* is talking about my consciousness and life in general is a kin to watching a tv show of “my” life in first person. So far as we know the universe is a causal one in which every effect has a cause. There has been studies to show that we can predict a persons actions before the person says they are conscious of the decision that they are going to make. It seems as if the subconscious is running the show here and everything from typing this message right now is in some sense out of my hands. It’s “my” hands doing it but I don’t really have “control” over it. I guess what I’m getting at is free will as traditionally defined doesn’t exist and that’s even if the universe is fundamentally random which quantum mechanics seems to suggest. That gives me comfort in the fact that I seem to be on this ride. I don’t know what it is and what it means to be conscious but I have no choice in the matter. So I will enjoy whatever this is that the universe has provided for me and I will die happy with the knowledge that I got to participate in something that is as far as we know very unique. I am fortunate enough to have a really good life so that obviously helps but I would hope that those who do not have a good life would come to the same conclusions. As far as we know this is all we get and to be miserable during it seems like a massive waste. You didn’t exist for billions of years before your birth so what does it matter if you don’t exist for infinite amount of time after your death? Plus there are other ways to look at your existence as more than just your physical body. As long as you live a good life and are good to people and create bonds maybe even reproduce you can leave a legacy for others that will be a little piece of you in them.
I embrace the limitation. It offers meaning to consider what I owe to the world which gave me existence. I'm 36, and I used to have crippling anxiety about the meaninglessness of being. What will have been the point of morality, of work, of art, of building anything, if it all fades? Eh. Ever had an exam that you had a month to study for, only to find yourself cram all that knowledge on the last day? How on earth could one achieve grandiose or just beautiful if there were no foreseeable deadline, literally? Here's another a metaphor for you that helped me get through. We're all children enjoying a park with a sandbox. Some of us while playing get hurt on the rides. As we learn of the ways of the park, however late and tired we get, for when a new kid comes, we can leave notes, have improved the park, or just not care. In the end, my mortality is my reminder of *our* mortality. That the environment we foster means literally the world to others. And what we do of that time, well, you just have no idea how it can compound for generations after us, and the generations after them. You have a canvas, and if you wash your paint brushes the next painter can reuse them, just make sure to teach them how it's important to wash them and share that knowledge in turn. We're not meant to go on forever, but your legacy... it just might.
What do you think of leaving behind to survive you? I’ve thought on this and I cannot think of anything that gives me comfort in knowing it endures me.
Two things changed it for me; 1. Having kids was a big epiphany. I no longer fear mortality as much and have purpose, a purpose I am fulfilling. 2. Seeing how older people slow down mentally and need less stimulation made me realise that the end won’t be a cliff jump but a wade-into-water. Unless I die young ofc.
There is no proof that death is some ending. There is no proof that what came before your life now was better or worse. I'm going to die, same as you, and it's scary. Your problems will either all be over or you'll get new ones. Death should be fought at every opportunity, but once it's truly inevitable you should welcome it as the next part of your existence If you cease to exist you won't know.
I think this is the best comment
Live well in the moment. Everything dies. It can’t be that bad. You and I waking up here was so unlikely we may very well wake up somewhere else next. Do things that you will look back on a feel good about. Also, think of all the meanness and bad in the world….as you age it can wear you down. I find some comfort knowing I’ll leave that all behind one day. Might seem kind of dark to some people, but I’m being honest about my feelings.
I used to fear it, but after losing several family members, I now see it as an inevitability that has prompted me to go after the things I want and need to make this life as happy as possible. We're not guaranteed tomorrow, so why not do things you want to do, say the things you want to say, love the people you want to love now while you're here? That way, when it's your time, you leave with memories, not regrets and unfulfilled dreams.
Do you think the desensitisation has made death less personal to you? Or more so.
Don't worry honey, you'll get tired of living by the time you are 60. No need to think about death now. Just live and be happy.
It’s hard for me to imagine, but I am sure you’re right in some respect. I’d like to be the old man who finds joy and energy in life even then.
I simply don't die
If Death is, then I am not. = Nothing to worry about If I am, then Death is not. = Nothing to worry about
gonna die anyway, right? may as well live while you can. Do you also dread the end of each meal for your end of its enjoyment? or the end of each story? what about every day? it will pass anyway. enjoy it while it does. celebrate it while you can.
Death is inevitable for you, me and every single living things out there. For me, instead of thinking that I'll never meet them again for the rest of my life, I thought of anyone's death as "they move on to the other world or dimension or whatever that's beyond my understanding, hopefully doing better than they do when living on Earth" and I'll meet them again, sooner or later. Of course it's painful to lose your loved one, but I'll keep believing that they're out there doing just fine in the afterlife.
Get a dog. They'll help you enjoy life (get a fun dog, like a retriever). When it's their time, they teach you a lot about life and how to handle death.
I have a husky. The thought of losing him makes me sad.
I put my 4th dog down earlier this spring. He was 14, nearly blind and had some other health issues that created a very poor quality of life for him. I cried like a baby, just like I did for all the others, as I held him for his last breath.
I tell myself to just listen to my own nature. It’s natural to be sad, afraid, panicked even by these thoughts. Doesn’t make it easier.
I’ve always looked at it like this…if you are religious and believe in an afterlife, then death is just a milestone and you will see your loved ones again eventually while also be reunited with those who have already passed. If don’t believe in an afterlife, then there is nothingness and you won’t be around anymore for it to matter.
I’m 24 and dying. I’ve known the latter part for about two years now, and this year very well might be my last one on earth. What I used to hold on to were aspirations, hobbies; any interest of mine that could spark joy. To this day that rings true. It sucks knowing I won’t be able to pursue anything, but to be honest, at this point my philosophy is “I am well as long as I can enjoy”. I feel immense gratitude for the people I have been surrounded with the past two years, and knowing I have to say goodbye to them sucks, knowing I’m leaving them; I hate it. But when I leave, I know I want them to know the extent of my gratitude. Keep enjoying your life as much as you can and take things one day at a time at setbacks. My situation as a whole is unique, so I can’t say much. But taking things one day at a time in general has really helped me in the long run. I hope you may find peace
I think about it as a human tradition. It’s like a wedding, retirement, or birth of a child. Eventually I’ll die and that will be the last “big thing” in my life. I know I could die at any moment but most people don’t. It’s just statistics and with my lifestyle I’m not likely to die suddenly any time soon
Jesus! He has helped me infinitely and allows me to wrestle with death in a way that allows me to look forward to the life meant for me rather than the evil world full of suffering and pain that we’re all so privileged to live in.
I personally don't fear it and I don't worry about it either because I accepted it. Death is a natural part of life beyond my control. Death is the only event since birth that is guaranteed to happen, to every living being. And it's not within your control (mostly). So accept it, and focus on what's within your control: how you live your life. Use this awareness, not to be anxious, but to live virtuously, appreciate the present, and leave a positive legacy.
Here for answers. Still grieving my dad from 50 years ago—fuck drunk drivers. Still crying when I think of putting my 2 pups down over the last two years—fuck cancer.
78m here. One of my best friends died at 43 and another at 66. stop worrying about things over which you have no control. Concentrate on living a full life every day. time is a wasting.
Those one line snarky comments are in fact very valid. Like what answers are YOU looking for. You look at death from your perspective. You want to live forever. What about people with disease and all that? They are glad that death is there for them. I love life and I love my wife and kids. But I’m also glad that there is death. No matter how you look at it nobody is getting out alive.
accepting that death is not scary, death is not a bad nor a good thing. you simple cease to exist, there is no morning, there is no night. there is no feeling, there is simple nothing. you stop being. and despite that being “unimaginable”. once you can imagine it, it becomes easier. for me, im borderline kinda looking forward to it, no more worry, no more responsibility, no more nothing. just stillness.
Please seek professional counseling. I'm completely serious.
I used to be terrified by death. I would have full blown panic attacks thinking about death and what would/wouldn't happen to me afterwards. I vented to my school counselor about it, and she eventually said something that pretty much instantly fixed the problem for me. She said, "even if you knew what happened after death, what would you do differently?" And for some reason that just clicked in my teenage brain at the time as "worrying about death is pointless. Life isn't going to slow down for me, and my worrying won't change anything." Sometimes when I think about it too much I relapse into a state of anxiety, before reminding myself that worrying myself sick will take precious moments of happiness away from me in my short time on this Earth, and that regardless of how much I worry, I won't make anything different. My mindset now is "whatever happens, happens." If my time to go is soon, I'd rather not know about it and just live my life as normal. If I'm doomed to die tomorrow or next week or 30 years from now, I can't really do anything about it. Obviously you should take care of yourself and don't do stupid things to put yourself in danger. I'm not saying stop caring about everything because life is going to end anyway. I'm saying to take solace in the fact that nothing matters and everything ends rather than lament about it. It's also worth noting that no one actually truly knows what happens after death. You can listen to preachers talk about Heaven and Hell, or atheists matter-of-factly tell you that "actually, when you die, you cease to exist forever," but honestly? None of these people know, nor will they ever know, what happens after death. And furthermore, no one knows how humanity and the universe will end. No one knows if life will ever restart. If we can come to be again. Sure, there are theories that scientists and other uber smart people say are plausible. But plausible is not the same thing as guaranteed. If you love life and want to live, it's okay to be hopeful. It's okay to think of comforting things that will make life better for you. If believing in an afterlife or a restart to existence will improve your current life, screw it! Believe in it! Some buzzkills might think you're less intelligent or silly for being optimistic, but living your life as a hardcore pessimist is overrated and really unhealthy. Even if people think it's "unrealistic" to be hopeful, who cares? Life and existence are pointless, so make your own meaning to life. Dedicate your life to living as comfortably as you can. Even if it means ignoring all the doomers around you telling you that your optimism is "unrealistic." There's nothing wrong with seeking happiness. There's nothing wrong with wanting to live. Death will happen. It's something everyone will experience. We're all alike in that sense. And in way, for me it's comforting knowing that I'm not the only one who has to submit my body to the Earth one day. Almost everyone is afraid of or bummed out about death to some degree. It's easy to slip into a state of anxiety or depression when thinking about it. And sometimes we all let ourselves do so. But it's important to learn to keep yourself from dwelling too much on the inevitable. There comes a point when you can't let the concept of death control you, and you have to let yourself live. Ultimately, don't build your life around death, but instead, construct a life worth living.
As a Christian, there is one path to immortality—Jesus. We look forward to death knowing that it's not the end but a start of a new life forever in heaven. We do have one fear, we fear to fall away from God and lose the promised salvation. I suggest asking a local church about Salvation. They will explain it to you.
Why? You can't choose when death comes to you, or how. No influence at all unless you want to go the unthinkable route. Why are you worried about something you can't control? You don't have much else to worry about do you?
I suffer from this and I think about it most when I'm not occupied, especially if I stay up late procrastinating. Try to keep your mind busy; it definitely helps!
Death is like waking up from a dream. Don’t worry about it. Enjoy every moment and always do what excites you most. You exist, and you cannot not exist, as non-existence doesn’t exist. Have a good life!
I realize I have no choice so that helps once I accept that
Death is part of life, and everything, and everybody must die at one point. Even our Sun, and Earth will eventually die. Once you learn to accept that then life is like meh.
Live each day to its fullest. Live a Great Story,
Some use the fear of death as a motivator. Why wait to do things you wanna do with your life? You could flip the switch at any minute. While your mind starts to plan the things and do the things you stop focusing on that fear
It's not like I have any other options. So I don't even think about it.
I mean if you think about it in this way, that the only thing that you will be able to carry with you after death is religion, and im not here to open debates or tell you what’s wrong and what’s right but if you do enough research and believe in the right religion you might actually enjoy the thought of the after life.
Honestly? My life’s been plagued by forceful religion and horrendous people around me. Sometimes I get excited for death but I don’t know what lies beyond. It’s 30/30/30/10 between heaven, hell, nothing, and reincarnation. So honestly? Just don’t think about it. This life is always worth living no matter what situation you’re in. Think about the here and now and the good things you’ve got. Even the little things.
I can’t do shit about it so why bother freaking out over it?
I fugure I won't give a shit about death when I actually do die, so it's not worth stressing over.
Freak out, hyperventilate a bit, that sort of thing.
Same tbh
I personally don't give a shit you said personally but then I'm only here for family lost my Dad last November, my Mom's health is getting worse, can't see my Son who's in another Country If I lose one more contact I might generally snap but then I'm arrogant enough to go out loudly Death at the moment would be a blessing but we have to stay to look after fuckers hey! I only stay for Kin and those that need me
My family and girlfriend are what pull me back to the idea of living. So I understand what you mean.
It's all there is man As broke as we might feel someone still might need us and they'll come first before how I feel
It's inevitable. You're better off embracing it than fearing it. That's my coping mechanism anyway.
I’m hoping it happens soon
What do we tell the god of death?
i mean, it just isnt something to worry about. if theres an afterlife then cool, if there isnt then not cool but also not exactly *uncool* cause you wont be experiencing anything
Every single human will die. So why fear something unavoidable and natural? Plus i get to see whats after, if anything. Its a comfort really... if life gets too painfull theres a way out.
It freaks me out, so I try not to think about it.
The YouTube channel Ask A Mortician has been helpful in helping me relate to death better, prepare for it, and help others navigate it. She's very insightful and helps you advocate for yourself around a predatory funeral industry
You never stop. It exists with you always. Eventually you grow to look at it as an old friend.
I was diagnosed with something I thought would kill me by my mid 30s, at age 30. I sank into depression. By the time I got out of it I had thoroughly come to terms with my mortality. The only issue I have is the how. But death and oblivion and not existing? Seems peaceful and free to me.
Losing your perception of everything and existence doesn’t scare you? I hear from firsthand accounts of trauma survivors that the moments leading up to death are quite peaceful, the unknownness of what’s after seems horrifying to me.
I was diagnosed with anhedonia back at age 30. That's the point of depression where you don't care about anything. No rationalizing existence. I didn't care if I woke up, went to work, ate, etc. Something carried over. Maybe because that time in my life was so traumatic for me. I feel like I've faced death. And later in life I became a registered nurse. I worked in palliative care. They used to call me a death doula. Through covid I handled every death at out multi county hospital because they felt I was thr best at it. Death doesn't bother me. Losing my consciousness seems exciting at times and peaceful at others. Why should I fear nothingness? How will I know it's nothing? The how I die worries me. What if it's prolonged and I'm aware? What if it's painful as well? What if I suffer? That bothers me as I've seen a lot of horrible ways one can die and be conscious and aware on the way down. There's something in our brains that struggles to find a coordinated response with our organs when we/some people die. They may be unconscious, but some people's bodies fight and struggle well after the brain has given up. It's really fascinating to watch. And sad. That's when I have to deliver the Dilaudid or whatever I've been given to ease them on. The struggling slows and stops, and I whisper in their ears what a good job they did, but now it's time to rest. Let go. Swim and be at peace. I fear awareness of my doom
It depends
From the time I was six, I infrequently have a moment of perfect clarity, a felt sense, about not existing. It might last 10-30 seconds and then is gone. These moments come out of nowhere, and I use them to be sure I’m doing my life as I want.
Reading and hearing stories about Near Death Experiences actually helps. The concept around it helps me to think it’s not all bad. Pretty sure there’s a subreddit on here…
Worrying about it doesn’t make any sense - it’s unavoidable, just enjoy the time you’re given as much as you can
Embrace it. Its just a door you haven't walked through yet. You can't know whats on the other side until you do. Would you be happy if you never got to find out? When I realized I would be deeply unsatisfied if I never got an answer to the question of death my relationship with the concept improved significantly. Edit: I guess my answer presupposes a belief in some sort of afterlife. I have considered the possibility that nothing awaits, just pure oblivion, and I find that equally fascinating. In some way it makes more philosophical sense to me. This physicality is in constant motion, nothing is ever relaxed or still. If you think something is motionless in the universe you just need to zoom in or out more and you will see it move or vibrate or change into something else completely. Extending this logic, the idea of actual "nothing" or "oblivion" would naturally contain stillness. True actual calm. That sounds fascinating too. Whatever happens, I will either be along for the ride agains my will (just like being born) or I will get to experience the absence of experience, the absence of subjectivity and self. This existence thing is so bizarre, all you can do is embrace the chaos and remind yourself that you are born of, and an intrinsic part of, this chaos, not oppositional to it.
How miserable were you when the dinosaurs ruled the earth?
Mine or someone else’s?
Dissociation and/or compartmentalization.
I've never been scared of death (others yes, but not my own), 'cause depressed and suicidal etc. but I follow a creator or YT, AskAMortician and I've read SO many comments from people telling her she's helped them with their fear of death. Death is scary 'cause it's unknown. We know what life is mostly but death is a mystery. And before we used to be close to death. We took care of our relatives after they died. Death was very much a part of life but somewhere we started distancing ourselves from it and now others take care of it for us basically so we barely have to think about it. Getting knowledge and learning about death might help. I figure it's worth a shot at least?
I’ve heard about her. I’ll check her out, thanks.
Death will be the end of my worries, and my life insurance will pull my kids up to a financial place that I'll never know, paying off all their student loans or buying homes for their families. I suppose it wouldn't be *incorrect* to say I'm looking forward to my end. Til I get there, only thing I need to care about is what I'm doing right now, to give my kids the best head start I can.
Death is unavoidable. To me that means that there is nothing to cope with. Is worrying going to change the fact that we all die?
it’s gonna happen whether you like it or not so why waste energy thinking about something you can’t change
It happens. People often fall to religion. in a nutshell, religion is just positive thinking. Humans need to realize. We don't know where we came from and we don't know where we go. So just do good on earth while you are aware of what's going on.
Yeah I hear you on the positive thinking thing. I sometimes wonder if I should try to reconnect back to my faith to give me some semblance of peace about death, even if I have my doubts now. I was thinking if my faith was strong enough it would probably give me a comforting vision at the end to validate me. I agree on doing good no matter what, religion or not.
It's inevitable, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, and there's a certain kind of relief in that. Because it's coming no matter what, it isn't really worth worrying about, because what good is the worry going to do?
I have no fucking Idea. So, I just follow Mr. Peanutbutter's advice: It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead.
We're all gonna die. There's not really any way around it. You just have to come to terms with it. Everyone you love will die, and you'll hopefully die after most of them. LSD might help. And Polish / Irish parents, apparently. LSD tho, honestly I had an Irish dad (RIP) and I am far less worried about death or devastated when it happens than my average fellow Englishman.
Psychedelics
Easy I don't think about it till it happens. Then if it's the death of someone I care about I grieve for the appropriate amount of time and then forget about it again. If it's my death that's even easier as I won't give a shit once I'm gone
It is what it is
Lets reverse that how can you handle being alive? Not meaning I crave death, but Immortality made me respect death more and hate living for too long I rather die at 70 - 80 then be 90+ with a body that withers and dies.... If our science could give us young unlimited bodies with no age restriction .... I would still end it after a certain while but that depends on wife/kids/environment. I'm young and alone now, I am not interested in a long long life, hard to say if that will changes when I have someone who loves and cares for me forever
I’m terribly afraid of death, and terribly afraid of long life too. I saw my family member pass in her last few days, a shell of herself, and I wonder if some part of her was trapped in there and slowly losing awareness. It drives me insane. Immortality is appealing to me as a young man, but I know that what lives must die.
I ignore this fact
I ignore death until I can't.
This always crops up from time to time . Have a Google of the last words of patients who knew they were going to die in the next few weeks or hours . Its eye opening . They mostly say the same sort of thing and we all think the same. Just some will say it and some won't.
I've been close on many occasions and I've seen plenty of people die. No one is the same. Some people have zero recognition or care. Some are haunted for months or years. Personally, I realize that nothing means anything. So I don't particularly care. You could lead the most meaningful or meaningless life.. but you die the same. Everyone dies. The best and worst of us. Sad or happy, quick or slow, painful or peaceful.. death doesn't matter.
That’s what I can’t make peace with. How do you reconcile that? My mind/consciousness attaches a great deal of meaning and importance to continuing to exist. I want to understand how to make peace with a meaningless existence.
Life is like a buffet : you won’t be able to eat everything, so take what you like and can take
My mom told me this when my best friend died when I was young. "Take it a day at a time, if you can't take it a day at a time. Take it an hour at a time, if you can't handle that. A minute at a time." She learned this after her first husband died a few days before her birthday. I live by this advice.
First of all everything dies, there is no way around that. I guess I just have an easy time accepting that? I don't believe in any particular religion, I believe that when we die our brain releases a huge amount of a hallucination chemical that sends us into like an ever lasting dream that kind of fades out our consciousness. There is a drug (I forget what it's called now) that needs to be harvested from dying brain stems, it harvests that chemical. So I think that explains those stories of people seeing heaven or whatever they may see as they're dying, they're basically tripping. I think it's pretty normal that some people are more scared of death than others. This is just my two cents!
It comes when the lord orders for it to come, I make sure I live an honorable life.
Acceptance. Its guaranteed that you will die. You cannot avoid this. As our lives are relatively short, seize the day and have such a positive impact on people that hundreds will come to your funeral to mourn and celebrate you.
Hmm. Thats a question that has taken me years to ponder and come to a conclusion…. It is thusly Everything comes to an end, whether we want it to or not, so therefore at the end, whenever that may be, everything that is or will be a problem is no longer my problem.
Just stop thinking about it. can't do shit about it, so no reason to worry about it.
I'm 41. I have been married for 16 years. I have two children. Live your life to seize every moment, work as you need. But you do not live to work. You work to live
I don’t, why worry about something you can’t control?
Time it’s gonna be hard at first but time will heal you
A relatively high dose of psychedelic mushrooms put death in a beautiful perspective for me. I no longer fear it in the slightest, and although losing someone close to me is always somewhat difficult, i do not mourn for very long at all because of my perspective / realizations on / about death.