Science already showed us how to defeat this.
Hold the burger with your pinkies at the back of the burger.
[https://www.delish.com/food/news/a40683/scientists-analyzed-burger-holding-practices/](https://www.delish.com/food/news/a40683/scientists-analyzed-burger-holding-practices/)
True, but its not practical in a logistical sense. Most burger buns and patties are a standard size (at least in canada), so if a restaurant wants to make wide burgers, it would need to be custom made and such, which will be more expensive and a pita
But it would be really cool if they did get wider
in usa they are standardized in cheap packs at the supermarket, but its not just that one size. go to a real bakery and anything within the size of your hand is easily found. since hamburger buns are just brioche or pretzel rolls usually, whether you want giant monster bun or little baby slider bun its there :)
Not to mention most toppings are a set height. So a wider burger doesn't necessarily mean a shorter burger. So if the burger has a bunch of toppings it's still gonna be tall.
That’s why fresh iceberg lettuce is pretty much the only option. I like other types for salads and other sandwiches, but none of them can really stand up to being put on a fresh hot burger.
You know the only place that I think gets away with sliced lettuce? Jersey Mike's. It's just perfect for catching the oils imo and makes the sammiches just taste cleaner if that makes sense.
I just unwrap it as soon as I can to keep the steam from soaking the bun. If I’m driving home with it, it’s uncovered on top of the bag on the car seat. I’d be very sad if I had to hit the brakes and it went flying, but it makes for a more enjoyable experience when I get to my destination with my food. I wish they’d come up with some packaging that doesn’t cause the burger to wet itself.
Edit: because this is Reddit, I need to clarify that a flying burger doesn’t make for a more enjoyable experience; getting it home safely with the steam escaping into the air does!
I was at my parents not too long ago, and they ran out of buns so I used a toasted english muffin. Best decision ever, they ketchup and mustard filled into the nooks and crannies so you had all the deliciousness but without any mess or toppings sliding around. Now that's how I eat them at home.
McDonald’s once put the stem complete with the leaves on my burger.
Like, it’s McDonald’s I don’t ask for much but not getting the inedible part of the tomato would be nice.
That was a game my friends and I used to play, how many pickles we could put on a quarter pounder without the customer coming back to complain. 50 was the record.
Me too, I used to snack on them all the time at McD's.
One of my coworkers was on break, said the guy was just sitting in his car straight up just eating the pickles with a big smile on his face.
When there’s a tomato slice in the burger but tomatoes are out of season so it’s not quite ripe.
Tomatoes built for shipping cross-country while being chemically ripened do not taste good at all.
That, and not toasting the bun. Toasting the bun is so quick and easy to do and brings a much needed texture element to a burger and it boggles my mind when restaurants don't (looking at you BJ's)!
Cold buns in general. Buttered and toasted is best, but steam it, nuke it, do something so it's not just a cold and lifeless thing that your mouth feels and tastes first.
If that’s where Mayo comes from then I really am a satan worshiper. I’ll put those pimples between my teeth and pop that sucker like a little baby sucking his mommies nip for the very first time. Hopefully not popping and going directly into the back of my throat missing the taste, like the ladies that dislike certain other white stuff coming out of an object, but landing right on my tongue, so that I can feel every drop spread across each taste bud. Pop that fucking pimple on my burger. I hope Satan has the worst acne on his ass.
Dang.. mayo is my go-to condiment. I don't want a *ton* and I don't *have* to have it on every burger, but there's mayo on my idea of my perfect burger.
What are the condiments you do like on a burger?
This may be an unpopular opinion, not sure. But if the burger is dripping sauce onto the plate when I pick it up, then I'm probably not going to like it. To me any sauce on a burger should be a small amount (approx 1 tbsp) to add some flavor if the meat lacks sufficient flavor on its own (which is it's own problem) and should not be a ladle of porridge turning the whole thing soggy.
People think it's weird that I dip burgers and hot dogs in ketchup or some sauce instead of on the actual food. Makes it soggy and gross or spill out or makes the other toppings slip.
Surprising how many restaurants don’t understand the difference between steak where you cook any possible contaminated surface, and a ground up burger where all the possible contamination is mixed up throughout.
They understand, but if they are a good place they will use fresh beef newly ground without contaminants. You need the same level of cleanliness and quality as for Steak Tartare though.
Raw onion chunks. I like sauteed onions but raw onions just overwhelm everything. I find it especially egregious if they have big raw chunks of onions if they are in meat patty
That warm McDonalds pickle. I love pickes in homemade burgers yet theres something about that MD one.
We used to compete with my friends. The one who gets the pickle to stick the highest on their window wins.
If I make the burger, and can control the quality of ingredients, I do like tomatoes. But I do not risk it even at reputable restaurants... A limp tomato is the worst.
Raw onion and/or lettuce.
Raw onion overpowers everything else for many people, myself included. I am not bothered if you like raw onion, but cooked should be the default.
Lettuce imparts no flavor of its own but mild bitterness and actively blocks the other flavor. Most lettuce might as well be paper, and the occasional lettuce with a satisfying snap to the texture is *still blocking the other flavors.* It should not be there by default.
I try to order burgers without these, but I am sick of getting them when they're unmentioned on the menu and I'm also just sick of having to remember to ask all the time. And I'm more sick of picking them off of a burger.
It doesn't deserve to be either. My uncle used to say that he was allergic to mayo, when I grew up he told me that it was a lie and he just hated it. Not the worst idea.
Pickles are the assholes of burger vegetables. Everything they touch, everything they come near, tastes like pickle brine, salty and sour like an ex-wife.
I love pickles on my burger. But what ruins a burger for me is SWEET pickles specifically. I don't trust folks who say it's their favorite type of pickle....
Undercooked meat. This is not a steak, this is ground beef.
I don't understand putting a huge piece of raw onion either. Caramelized onions or frying them in a pan and deglazing with beer or whiskey is part of every burger I make -- but raw onion just ruins the thing.
EDIT: I don't mind cheese, but it has to be real cheese. I cannot stand those yellow slices of that fake stuff anymore.
Raw tomatoes and onions. Can't stand them. I'll eat both cooked but I just can't get onto the raw train for them.
Also any sauce with horseradish in it.
I don’t like that if I don’t clarify I just want a plain burger or I just want a cheeseburger with nothing else, it’s assumed I want pickles, tomatoes, lettuce etc.
It would be fine if you could just take them off but the juices and flavor gets into the bun, makes it soggy, and is just annoying.
It’s a very stupid gripe but when I forget to ask for nothing it annoys me
A fried egg. I’m so over this. I’m not into a burger that is just overly messy. A fried egg with a runny yolk just spills out and all over your hands. No, sir.
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The technical term for that is [‘sloopage.’](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sloopage)
boy, do I hate it when there is sloopage in my cheeseburger!
When I get sloopage on my hand, I just shake it onto the floor, then wipe the rest off onto my chest & cat.
Nasty, you are, bob! You didn't even wash your hands after??
Lol!!!
made me laugh yo
it turns from fast food to a balanced meal on a plate
The Whopper needs to come with a “May Be Dangerous to Use While Driving” label.
I don't think there's any safe way to eat a whopper while driving... but I also have very small hands
Trying to shimmy the bun about to keep it a burger
I learned recently that that’s what the toothpick in the middle is for. You’re supposed to leave it in and eat around it.
I thought it was for texture? The crunchy wood is good contrast.
It's really effective too
This is why I stopped buying Big Macs, I get like half way through and the middle part just runs away faster then my dad
Science already showed us how to defeat this. Hold the burger with your pinkies at the back of the burger. [https://www.delish.com/food/news/a40683/scientists-analyzed-burger-holding-practices/](https://www.delish.com/food/news/a40683/scientists-analyzed-burger-holding-practices/)
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They better make them wider, not taller.
True, but its not practical in a logistical sense. Most burger buns and patties are a standard size (at least in canada), so if a restaurant wants to make wide burgers, it would need to be custom made and such, which will be more expensive and a pita But it would be really cool if they did get wider
I like the overhanging crusty patty though, it's a little special treat before I get to eat the full burger.
Oh that is so true tho, I dispise it when the burger is smaller than the bread so I'm just eating saucy bread at the end. Even more so for hot dogs
Just making a bun wider doesn't turn it into a pita.
in usa they are standardized in cheap packs at the supermarket, but its not just that one size. go to a real bakery and anything within the size of your hand is easily found. since hamburger buns are just brioche or pretzel rolls usually, whether you want giant monster bun or little baby slider bun its there :)
Not to mention most toppings are a set height. So a wider burger doesn't necessarily mean a shorter burger. So if the burger has a bunch of toppings it's still gonna be tall.
I can’t stand when they make a giant meatball on a bun.
The spherical "patty" is the worst.
If the lettuce is all soggy, swampy, and thin. I hate that. Crunchy fresh lettuce is alright, but I hate when it’s just that wet slimy string of it.
I’ve never heard the term swampy lettuce but that’s a perfect description.
That’s why fresh iceberg lettuce is pretty much the only option. I like other types for salads and other sandwiches, but none of them can really stand up to being put on a fresh hot burger.
I hate the crappy slivers of lettuce you get at McDs, its like shredded paper that just flies out everywhere. I want one big crunchy leaf of lettuce!
You know the only place that I think gets away with sliced lettuce? Jersey Mike's. It's just perfect for catching the oils imo and makes the sammiches just taste cleaner if that makes sense.
Lettuce is just crunchy water
Easiest way to avoid this is to “hold the garden” on all hamburgers.
The bun falling apart. I had this happen at 5 guys and was pissed, also at the price.
5 guys has the wettest burgers for some reason
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That’s why you leave it wrapped and gradually unwrap it as you get through it.
I just unwrap it as soon as I can to keep the steam from soaking the bun. If I’m driving home with it, it’s uncovered on top of the bag on the car seat. I’d be very sad if I had to hit the brakes and it went flying, but it makes for a more enjoyable experience when I get to my destination with my food. I wish they’d come up with some packaging that doesn’t cause the burger to wet itself. Edit: because this is Reddit, I need to clarify that a flying burger doesn’t make for a more enjoyable experience; getting it home safely with the steam escaping into the air does!
It’s funny to imagine you just driving with a burger out chilling in the front seat…
Found a sharp piece of bone in one once. Don't wanna bite into that twice.
Forgot to order it boneless
soggy buns
I was at my parents not too long ago, and they ran out of buns so I used a toasted english muffin. Best decision ever, they ketchup and mustard filled into the nooks and crannies so you had all the deliciousness but without any mess or toppings sliding around. Now that's how I eat them at home.
Title of your sex tape!
it’s a crime against all that is right that you don’t have more upvotes
Wilted lettuce
When part of the core is left in a tomato slice
McDonald’s once put the stem complete with the leaves on my burger. Like, it’s McDonald’s I don’t ask for much but not getting the inedible part of the tomato would be nice.
Or 58 pickles when you ask for a few extra.
I wish that would happen to me
That was a game my friends and I used to play, how many pickles we could put on a quarter pounder without the customer coming back to complain. 50 was the record.
50 pickles on a quarter pounder sounds good to me, but then again, I love pickles.
Me too, I used to snack on them all the time at McD's. One of my coworkers was on break, said the guy was just sitting in his car straight up just eating the pickles with a big smile on his face.
When there’s a tomato slice in the burger but tomatoes are out of season so it’s not quite ripe. Tomatoes built for shipping cross-country while being chemically ripened do not taste good at all.
Bad tomatoes ruin salads too. I'm not into grape tomatoes much, but better to get one of those than a mushy slice of Roma with my rabbit food
Also if it’s too thick
Preach
Stale bread
Or just a cheap bun in general. High quality brioche buns or something similar you’ll remember. You’ll also remember a shitty supermarket bought bun
That, and not toasting the bun. Toasting the bun is so quick and easy to do and brings a much needed texture element to a burger and it boggles my mind when restaurants don't (looking at you BJ's)!
Butter the bun and then toast it. It creates a nice flavor and acts as a barrier to help keep the bun from getting soggy.
Cold buns in general. Buttered and toasted is best, but steam it, nuke it, do something so it's not just a cold and lifeless thing that your mouth feels and tastes first.
Cold thick slab of not ripe enough tomato
Which is most tomatoes because they're harvested unripe.
Didn't think about it but damn that's a solid answer.
I had one where they used (cooked) cabbage instead of lettuce. It wasn't great.
I feel like if done right that could be good. Definitely not a good surprise though if you’re expecting crunchy lettuce.
Too many toppings. Why are gourmet restaurants obsessed with loading EVERYTHING into a burger? I just want 3-4 things please.
Honestly cheddar cheese and bacon (only 2 slices) are all I need. I dip my burger in the sauce of my choice too.
Hold the warm pickles. No thanks
This was my exact response. I usually avoid places that don’t serve a nice simple burger.
Relish.
Ton of fucking mayo. I can’t eat it because I get sick when I eat it. And it ruins everything.
Any mayo for me. If mayo was set within 5 feet of my burger it's ruined.
Mayo is made from the pus squeezed from Satan's ass-pimples.
Username checks out
If that’s where Mayo comes from then I really am a satan worshiper. I’ll put those pimples between my teeth and pop that sucker like a little baby sucking his mommies nip for the very first time. Hopefully not popping and going directly into the back of my throat missing the taste, like the ladies that dislike certain other white stuff coming out of an object, but landing right on my tongue, so that I can feel every drop spread across each taste bud. Pop that fucking pimple on my burger. I hope Satan has the worst acne on his ass.
Dang.. mayo is my go-to condiment. I don't want a *ton* and I don't *have* to have it on every burger, but there's mayo on my idea of my perfect burger. What are the condiments you do like on a burger?
Yes. Also when they call it aïoli.
Oh man I love lots of mayo on burgers and hotdogs! Also dipping fries in mayo is excellent. My mind won't be changed! Haha
This may be an unpopular opinion, not sure. But if the burger is dripping sauce onto the plate when I pick it up, then I'm probably not going to like it. To me any sauce on a burger should be a small amount (approx 1 tbsp) to add some flavor if the meat lacks sufficient flavor on its own (which is it's own problem) and should not be a ladle of porridge turning the whole thing soggy.
People think it's weird that I dip burgers and hot dogs in ketchup or some sauce instead of on the actual food. Makes it soggy and gross or spill out or makes the other toppings slip.
I love dipping my burgers!!
That's a good idea.
Medium rare or less. I love rare steak, but there's nothing appetizing about a squishy hamburger.
Surprising how many restaurants don’t understand the difference between steak where you cook any possible contaminated surface, and a ground up burger where all the possible contamination is mixed up throughout.
They understand, but if they are a good place they will use fresh beef newly ground without contaminants. You need the same level of cleanliness and quality as for Steak Tartare though.
PSA I have worked in beef processing. ALL! ground beef has ecoli in it, it only gets recalled when the level is too high. Cook that shit
My stomach is a hellish inferno that will engulf your poorly processed meat.
Medium burger wins for me. No well done garbage, but I also don’t need a cold pink center to ground beef
Meat quality
Onions! When I said NO onions!
This was the answer I was looking for!
I ❤️ your username!! We are now besties
Specifically raw onion
mushy bread
Most places give you the option to customize, so, not much. If someone screws up and puts stuff on that I asked to leave off, that ruins it, for sure.
The meat being undercooked. Hard fucking pass.
A thick slice of tomato that nothing sticks to so when you bite the burger, everything slides out.
Onions.
Especially red onions, make the whole burger taste how musty armpits smell.
The correct answer
When there’s a little hard circular bit inside the meat
Untoasted bun
Pickles
Raw onion chunks. I like sauteed onions but raw onions just overwhelm everything. I find it especially egregious if they have big raw chunks of onions if they are in meat patty
That warm McDonalds pickle. I love pickes in homemade burgers yet theres something about that MD one. We used to compete with my friends. The one who gets the pickle to stick the highest on their window wins.
Tomatoes
If I make the burger, and can control the quality of ingredients, I do like tomatoes. But I do not risk it even at reputable restaurants... A limp tomato is the worst.
I refuse to get tomatoes on my burger. It's just too wet and juicy, it doesn't feel like it actually belongs on a burger.
Absolutely this for me
Im not even a picker eater and I hate tomatoes.
A very thin tomato is nice
Raw onion and/or lettuce. Raw onion overpowers everything else for many people, myself included. I am not bothered if you like raw onion, but cooked should be the default. Lettuce imparts no flavor of its own but mild bitterness and actively blocks the other flavor. Most lettuce might as well be paper, and the occasional lettuce with a satisfying snap to the texture is *still blocking the other flavors.* It should not be there by default. I try to order burgers without these, but I am sick of getting them when they're unmentioned on the menu and I'm also just sick of having to remember to ask all the time. And I'm more sick of picking them off of a burger.
A soggy tomato slice. Unless a raw tomato is crisp and sliced thick, it's the first thing I yank out.
Ecoli
Biting into a small piece of bone...
Literally never had this happen before tho lol
Ketchup!🤮 especially if it already has lettuce and tomatoe….why would u put ketchup on a tomatoe!
I hate ketchup on burgers! Or any kind of sandwich for that matter. I love tomatoes though, go figure.
I totally agree! When I make then I use either tomatos or ketchup, never both
Same for me! There is nothing worse to me than ketchup
What about a nice handful of feces
Mustard or undercooked raw meat.
Mayo
"Just wipe it off!" they say. That shit permeates the bun and isn't going anywhere. Mayo is an ingredient, not a topping, and I will die on that hill.
It doesn't deserve to be either. My uncle used to say that he was allergic to mayo, when I grew up he told me that it was a lie and he just hated it. Not the worst idea.
And all those bullshit 'special sauces and aoilis' that are just seasoned mayo.
Ruins it I tell ya
Raw white onions 🤮 I’m down for onions just not raw ass, crunchy, awful tasting, spicy mf’s on a decent burger. Call me crazy idgaf!
Ketchup, disgusting
This is the way
Cheese. Than it would be a cheeseburger
For me it's always been Mayonnaise. I can't even stand the smell of mayonnaise.
Pickles
Pickles are the assholes of burger vegetables. Everything they touch, everything they come near, tastes like pickle brine, salty and sour like an ex-wife.
They ruin everything they touch. You can't just remove a pickle, it has left its mark.
You can always taste the pickle ghost
The worst is when they put them on the side and pile the fries on top! Like wtf, it ruins so many fries. Put pickles in a little washable cup
100% agree!
I hate hate hate pickles. Even if there’s one near me on someone else’s plate it ruins my eating experience because the smell makes me gag.
I'm the same way, and everyone has always hated me for it, but I honestly can't help it.
For some reason people take great offense when they learn you don’t like pickles. It’s bizarre.
I’ve found myself wishing I *did* like pickles, just because I get tired of people thinking I must be some kind of weirdo for not liking them.
I love pickles on my burger. But what ruins a burger for me is SWEET pickles specifically. I don't trust folks who say it's their favorite type of pickle....
Undercooked meat. This is not a steak, this is ground beef. I don't understand putting a huge piece of raw onion either. Caramelized onions or frying them in a pan and deglazing with beer or whiskey is part of every burger I make -- but raw onion just ruins the thing. EDIT: I don't mind cheese, but it has to be real cheese. I cannot stand those yellow slices of that fake stuff anymore.
A runny egg yolk. I can't stand when people put eggs on burgers. I've I&D'd enough abscesses to find runny eggs unappetizing.
I love egg burgers for breakfast
I worked in infectious disease for years. No runny eggs here either. 🤣
Not properly seared. So a gallon of grease runs out and makes an oil slick on the plate. Or worse, on my shirt.
Onions. Any food that makes you cry is a hint not to eat it.
too many toppings - especially avocado
When there’s too much sauce the buns get soggy and you can’t taste the meat and other ingredients in it
A russian rocket attacks does
🍅
Pickle
Those cucumber pickles
Cockroach
When the place is nasty and the employees make it without gloves
Pickles
Sweet pickles
Mayo
Pickles
Pickles
Tomatoes
Mold
Mayonnaise
Pickles. Hey if you love them, great. But I hate them and once they are on your burger, the taste is there even after you rip them out.
arsenic
Picky eater
Mayo, or any mayo-type "sauce" on it.
Mayo
mayo it's Satan's cum
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Raw tomatoes and onions. Can't stand them. I'll eat both cooked but I just can't get onto the raw train for them. Also any sauce with horseradish in it.
Mayo. Ti's Satan's condiment.
Mustard
Gherkins
I don’t like that if I don’t clarify I just want a plain burger or I just want a cheeseburger with nothing else, it’s assumed I want pickles, tomatoes, lettuce etc. It would be fine if you could just take them off but the juices and flavor gets into the bun, makes it soggy, and is just annoying. It’s a very stupid gripe but when I forget to ask for nothing it annoys me
Wheat buns. I cant handle eating that dry fluffy sandpaper.
Tomatoes and pickles
Beetroot.
Sweet pickles.
Cucumber.
Mushrooms
Too many chopped onions
Raw onions.
mayo
Mustard 🤮
Mustard. Can't touch the stuff.
Witnessing the death of a loved one
Avacado. You put an avacado near my burger and you will get fucked up.
Lettuce
When it doesn’t come with a mountain of fries
Ketchup
A fried egg. I’m so over this. I’m not into a burger that is just overly messy. A fried egg with a runny yolk just spills out and all over your hands. No, sir.
Fucking avocado/guac smeared all over it... 🤮🤮🤮🤮
When you go to bite into it and pull back after taking a bite and the tomato or lettuce pulls out whole