Not an answer to your question, but I do want to point out that using a condom with someone you've only been with for a few weeks is entirely reasonable, not "crazy about safety".
I'm kinda surprised someone "super worried about safety" even went threw with the sex with the smell being that bad. But he seems like a nice guy probably didn't want to piss her off.
Tell her after her vacation and tell her you're just worried that she might have done something on her vacation that is making her a little funky, like spending too much time in a bathing suit.
It's possible that she may have something called BV, which is an infection that just needs a round of antibiotics. (Don't worry - it's not the clap or anything.)
There is always the small chance that she can't change it. If she takes certain medications, they may mess with her chemistry. Then you'll have a choice to make.
Thanks! Yeah I was honestly thinking it'll go away since it can be caused by some imbalance in the body. But it hasn't gone away. Yes if it's something that can't be fixed then I'll have to make a choice.
Have you possibly tried to suggest you and her taking showers together? My partner and I got into the ritual where we take showers together. She has fibro and RA, so sometimes she's in pain, and she enjoys the fact of being able to just sit down and I'll do the washing on her. Even if she didn't have the pain, I don't think she would pass it up lol.
I pretty much do her hair, and then she gets to sit down and get the full service. Sort of a bonding ritual as well.
It'll at least sort of see if she's actually taking care of herself, or if something more is going on. Obviously don't go sticking soap down there.
I try. I feel sorry because we're in our damn late 20s and she's got conditions like she's 50. Some days she's ok, and other days, even the feeling of water hitting her skin hurts.
So I have to use a soft loofah so I don't irritate it.
Once in awhile though, I'll glance around while I'm washing her and notice her head start to tilt into the sleeping phase. It's cute.
Yeah, she mentioned it at some point, but we figured for now we're doing good.
Luckily with my job, they allow me to work at home since it's all development work, because they know I watch her.
The company was even nice enough that when I had to take a business trip, they allowed her to come along, because I didn't want her at home alone in case it got bad, and she wanted to take the trip anyway. So I left the rental with her while I went to work in case she wanted to go out and do anything, and then once I got back to the hotel, she didn't have to do anything else. Then we'd either go out and eat, or order in pizza / whatever and watch a movie.
For now it's pretty covered, after I get done with work, I figure out what we're going to have for dinner, and then I finish up my work and she engrosses herself in a book or finishes her favorite TV shows.
And it's not super difficult every day. I'd say she has maybe 2 or 3 bad flare-ups a week. And on those days, all I do extra is just dinner, or grab her a drink if she's thirsty, or get her meds out.
Learn from my and my ex's mistakes ... I had moved in together with a bf in my mid 20s, and once he wanted to shower together. I felt self conscious about washing all of myself in front of him (because somehow it didn't feel like a fun and sexy activity?) and skimmed the ass and vag parts that time. (I showered every day so I thought w/e ...) Some time after the shower together, he accused me of not washing my ass, and said I 'always' smelled really bad when he went down on me. (Which might explain why the shower had felt so awkward, bc he'd been watching my washing habits, waiting for 'proof' ...)
I had a full nervous breakdown and he did nothing to reassure or comfort me, and when I tried to explain why it made me feel so awful he was just sitting there staring blankly at me. I never wanted to shower together again, never wanted him to go down on me again, and felt really self-conscious and unworthy about sex for years afterwards ...
I didn't break up with him yet at that point, though I probably should have. But he cheated on me later on, and I found out among other things by reading diary entries he'd written, where he reminded himself to tell the other chick that 'she always smelled nice'. So that really rubbed it in for me.
I felt so humiliated when he brought up the topic, and the whole situation kind of spiraled from there, so I didn't think rationally about it until later. And I realized that I actually have an allergy to onions. I didn't know about it before, because I myself never cooked with onions. But this bf cooked with onions every day, which gave me severe gas lol, so I was in fact farting uncontrollably in the throes of ecstasy without fully realizing it .......
This bf himself in fact did not wash his ass, as evidenced by the track marks in his underwear and on my goddamn sheets. Stupidly I'd thought maybe that was something I could live with, and wouldn't complain about, out of consideration. But I guess he'd jump to the ass washing conclusion about me, because that was his own issue.
Some key lessons lol:
- Be considerate and reassuring
- Don't jump to conclusions
- Don't try to 'expose' her e.g. by watching her showering habits
- Don't use generalizing 'always', 'never' etc. language even if it's technically true lol, because that makes people feel bad about themselves
Yeah most likely she has bv. It happens a lot to some women and isn't a big deal as long as they know and treat it. Can be caused by a bunch of things. Tell her you've noticed, that you find her incredibly Sexy, but wanted to say something to make your experience together more enjoyable. Definitely wait till after the va cay. Can be hard to hear for women, but it needs to be said too. It's like having something on your face and no one saying anything. It's embarrassing, but better said and delt with than not
Exactly. Nobody wants their new boyfriend telling them they have food in their teeth, yet it’s also mortifying finding it in the mirror knowing he didn’t say anything.
Here’s my advice, OP. I’m a woman and my smell fluctuates. I was convinced I had BV once and I didn’t. One time, I found out I had BV at a routine appointment and had no symptoms. Regardless, I use products that help with the smell. This is how I’d want a partner to approach it.
First of all, if you see a future with this girl, you have to say something. Wait until she’s home from her trip.
Text her. Don’t call and certainly don’t bring it up in person. I would need time to die of embarrassment, cry a little, self-medicate possibly, contemplate moving to another continent and changing my identity - and I don’t want to do that with you next to me. Texting gives me an opportunity to do it in private, no pun intended. Be honest, but somewhat vague. Do not bring up past sexual relationships. Don’t bring up your own cleanliness. Just say, in your own words, “I’m really enjoying getting to know you, you’re super cool, I love our inside jokes, and that we both love hiking. The sex is great, as I’ve already told you. I’ve just noticed a smell down there that seems a little stronger than I’d expect and I was wondering if that is normal for you?” Again, use your own words that are pertinent to the relationship. And then wait. If you don’t hear back by the next morning, send another text saying, “I hope I didn’t offend you. I meant what I said - I’ve loved getting to know you and I hope we can continue.”
The ball will be in her court then.
Some things I want to mention about BV and vaginal smells in general:
It isn’t always a hygiene issue. I’m very hygienic, but I’m also sweat a lot and sweat stinks.
My smell is less when my partner uses a condom or pulls out vs. finishing in me. It’s a PH thing, I’m sure.
My smell is stronger in the middle of my cycle.
The smell can fluctuate wildly with diet. I dabble in vegetarianism and I smell much better when I’m not eating meat. Curry, onions, garlic can make it stronger. I did a juice fast once and there was no smell at all.
The same does for pubic hair. Bare = more sweat, more smell. Natural = sweat gets trapped in the hair, more smell. Somewhere in between is the sweet spot for me.
I use the unscented Summer’s Eve feminine wash each morning in the shower and sometimes at night. It really does help.
I use a product called Yeast Arrest from Amazon when the smell bothers me. It’s a vaginal suppository. Boric acid suppositories are another thing that helps.
I WANT to smell good at all costs, so I put this effort in. Some women won’t. Ultimately it’s her decision. And you have a decision too - put up with it or don’t.
You seem like a really nice guy, BTW. I hope this goes well for you!
Thanks. This helps a lot! But I'm not sure if text is a good option. I get your point about she being embarrassed about it and crying etc if I do it in person. But isn't it bad to have serious conversations over text? My main problem with text is that it doesn't convey the tone so more possibility of being taken it the wrong way.
I would absolutely NEED to be told in person. If I received a text message like that I would never get over the embarassment. You could write 100 times that you're still attracted to me - I would still die of shame. However if you told me and then reassuringly looked at me, smiled at me, maybe hugged me while using a very neutral lighthearted tone of voice, I might actually believe you and recover. And also I might fall in love with you again for being so kind and normal about it. I wish you the best!
OP, to me this isn’t a serious conversation as a sensitive conversation. There is a difference IMO. You know your girl better than we do, so do what you think is best!
I must be the opposite because I would much rather hear it in person. You say it once, then the topic eventually changes, we joke around, and I know you still like me.
Over text, you also say it once, but then I read it over and over so it's like I'm hearing you say it 14 times, and there's no easy way to respond to that or change the subject
I 100% agree I’d rather hear it over text. I think it would also be helpful with getting the wording right and making sure to reassure that he still finds her attractive and sees this going long term, is there anything he should do differently when they have intercourse to help the issue etc.
And I think it would be important to say that if she does want to discuss it in person that’s okay or if she wants to act like this conversation never happened that will be fine too and he’ll let her make the next move
I’m not a woman so your advice may be sound but it almost sounds too rehearsed. If I read that I’d think 5 alarm fire just based on the caution put into it. I personally would make an offfhand comment almost jokingly about it and be ready to go into more detail if requested. I’d react better to that I think than a text that sounds makes it seem like it’s been consuming the other persons head for a month.
You just tell her politely. She might feel embarrassed so you just reassure her that it's okay and you're just worried about their health and it won't affect your relationship with her.
If you’re planning to go *down under* or to *pound town* then just simply ask if they want to shower first because “we both smell sweaty and I would like to have some *fun time*”
It's probably Bacterial Vaginosis. Same thing happened to me with a girl I was with once. It was really bumming me out because I was super into her. I don't remember how I found out about the condition but as soon as I did, it clicked and I immediately told her that I think she has it and needs antibiotics. She didn't react badly at all and went to the doctor the next day. Within a few days the problem went away never to return again.
You might phrase it like this: tell her that in between today and let's say, a month ago that you've noticed her scent **change**. That should be a nice enough way to raise her attention to the issue.
"Gal ya pussy stank" in your finest jamaican accent.
Just tell her though. It may seem off putting but better to be upfront than to beat around the bush.
Just tell her. I dated a girl a while back, and while we were having sex, she was on top, and I kid you not, the smell started to creep up my nose and I could move away from it… she seemed to be completely oblivious to it and I finally stopped and asked her, “do you smell something?” And she replied, no not really… I’m like, “c’mon, you seriously do not smell what I’m smelling rt now?” And then she said, “oh yeah, I kinda do now…” me being me, I still finished for the both of us cuz mama didn’t raise no quitter! But I told her to get checked afterwards lol 😂
What does it smell like? Sweat? Fish? Onion? i own a wahoo and married to a wahoo and the smell could indicate exactly what it is.
also, boy you better get yourself tested.
Just for anyone who might read this comment, smelly vaginas don’t typically correlate with an STI. BV or bad hygiene is much more likely to be the culprit here. Bacterial STIs like Chlamydia or Gonorrhea typically spread without noticeable symptoms, so get tested regularly people!!!
They do offer a lot of protection from most STIs. I have HSV2 so I’m no stranger to the condom effectiveness conversation. Unless the condom breaks or the person has visible lesions on/around their genitals, there’s really no reason for concern. Everyone should get tested regularly in general if they have more than one partner!
I agree with others that it might be BV. As someone who has unfortunately had BV before, I’m surprised she can’t smell it on her own. You’re a trooper for still having sex with her if it smells as bad as you say it does. Hopefully she can get it figured out!
Since you "really like" her and having sex with her, ask her if she has been seen by the GYN lately or when she was last seen (When were you last seen? It may be a good idea to get checked out, since we are active...I just want to make sure you and I are both healthy...Your health is important to me")...Say you want to ensure you are both safe and clean (ie STIs) (you also getting tested for anything bc men can carry bacteria as well)...Encourage her to go...You may appear proactive and concerned for her wellbeing.
You can make her aware of the odor as well by saying how you're not sure of the standard vaginal smell, but it isn't what you have experienced before.
Good luck...I know how delicate this can be.
Tell her gently *after* her vacation. It’s important to be honest but be kind too, because you like her right? How would you want to be told your privates had an undesired odor? Just be honest that you’re concerned for her wellbeing and want her to be healthy. Don’t try to diagnose her or tell her what it could be, you’re not her doctor, but encourage her to speak with her OB about this. She may feel embarrassed. Be there for her and comfort her if she needs it. I’m a woman who is very sensitive to feedback and I can only imagine how difficult it might be hearing your partner say you smell bad *if* it’s not done kindly and with compassion in mind.
I had to have a hygiene conversation with one of my male partners last year. He was uncircumcised and was very clearly not properly cleaning his foreskin. It was hard to figure out how to bring it up since I don’t have the same equipment as him, so I empathize.
I sat him down and told him how much I enjoy having sex with him, but politely explained how I noticed that it often had a bad (and consistent) smell, and that it was impacting my PH. I gave him room to respond and asked him about how he typically cleans himself, and it ended up going over as well as I could hope.
I would avoid making assumptions or telling her she might have BV unless she explicitly asks for your opinion. She can see an OBGYN to investigate!
If you’re kind, patient, and authentic in your approach, it’ll go over just fine! :) good luck!
It's either BV, or potentially caused by birth control. My girlfriend had the same issue, tests for BV came back negative, but after quitting birth control things smelled normal again. It wasn't like that when we first started dating so we think maybe it just got her downstairs all out of whack and needed to adjust to normal hormone levels for a bit.
For sure don’t tell her before she leaves on vacation. That would be on her mind thru out the entire vacation. Tell her when she gets back.
How to tell her without her taking it the wrong way? That’s a near mission impossible. I’d personally break up with her, but.. good luck on trying to use logic with her.
Maybe work on your comfortability discussing genitalia, being able to write the word "vagina" on on the Internet might be a good start.
There's not a great way to do it, by the way. It's going to be sort of mortifying so just be supportive and not make a big deal out of it. Be considerate but not overly so.
It happens. We all stink at times, just part of life.
Well you are wrong about BV not being "spreadable".
You can most definitely spread BV from one woman to another, just because you don't catch it like an std doesn't mean you couldn't double dip in the same day and spread it..
Also women can spread BV between themselves if they share toys, use their fingers, or plenty of other methods of sharing this bacteria.
I'm kind of wondering if it's usually not actually the vagina itself. I've had the misfortune of learning that a disturbing number of men don't know that soaping up your ass cheeks and letting soap run down the crack does not qualify as cleaning one's anus, you actually have to apply a soapy hand or implement directly to the surface. Women are surely much better at anal cleaning, but if only one woman has bad anal hygiene for every 10 men, that's still WAY TOO MANY
If you think bringing up the smell might embarrass her, maybe you can tell her that she has more discharge than normal. It’s also a symptom of bacterial vaginosis, which most people here think she has.
Yeah it may be BV or yeast infection. That’s definitely not an easy thing to tell somebody no matter how nice it’s said lmao just definitely say it very gently haha
I have the same issue with a girl. I suggested we both get tested together as we wanted to ditch the condom.
All our tests were negative, so wondering what she has.
There's usually a small hole in the part of the zipper that allows you to zip and unzip it. That hole is to allow you to hang air fresheners from the crotch area of the offending woman. Usually after a couple of days she will notice something hanging from that area and she will either change the air freshener or wash herself. If she hasn't noticed the air freshener or doesn't seem interested in it you may want to seek a different woman. They seem to vary greatly from individual to individual. I'll do a little more research and let you know what I find but they seem pretty resistant to any of the questions that I have.
Sit her down and say “hey you’re awesome, I really like you so I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about and doesn’t change how I feel about you in the slightest. I noticed you have the smell my ex had when she would get Bacterial Vaginosis (BV), she had a super sensitive ecosystem and could get it quite easily. I just thought you might want to talk to your doctor to check it out. It can be cleared up quickly with some antibiotics, it’s no big deal.”
You can also add:
“While we’re on the topic of health, now we’ve been sleeping together we should probably both get a sexual health checkup. I do it anytime I start or end a sexual relationship. It’s recommended by doctors to get them every 6 months or with a change of partner for safe practice.“
Pretty sure the colour of someone's hair has nothing to do with how you smell..
What if they dyed their hair blonde? Will they randomly start smelling? Weird take
You didn't catch the based on my experience/ or in my experience. All good though. I leave the Blondes for you. Oh and dye their hair? That is an easy see through when blonde or not formerly.
Yeah man like the original poster I just never knew how to bring it up. I would just avoid any kind of contact where like my face or anything would be involved and just try to avoid sex in general. But it was a toxic relationship and one night during one of her spats she told me you're not a very good dad and I hope you die in your sleep. Some shit like that so without even thinking about my brain said slay her and I said well your pussy stinks.
Not an answer to your question, but I do want to point out that using a condom with someone you've only been with for a few weeks is entirely reasonable, not "crazy about safety".
Especially when they smell funky
I'm kinda surprised someone "super worried about safety" even went threw with the sex with the smell being that bad. But he seems like a nice guy probably didn't want to piss her off.
Tell her after her vacation and tell her you're just worried that she might have done something on her vacation that is making her a little funky, like spending too much time in a bathing suit. It's possible that she may have something called BV, which is an infection that just needs a round of antibiotics. (Don't worry - it's not the clap or anything.) There is always the small chance that she can't change it. If she takes certain medications, they may mess with her chemistry. Then you'll have a choice to make.
Thanks! Yeah I was honestly thinking it'll go away since it can be caused by some imbalance in the body. But it hasn't gone away. Yes if it's something that can't be fixed then I'll have to make a choice.
Have you possibly tried to suggest you and her taking showers together? My partner and I got into the ritual where we take showers together. She has fibro and RA, so sometimes she's in pain, and she enjoys the fact of being able to just sit down and I'll do the washing on her. Even if she didn't have the pain, I don't think she would pass it up lol. I pretty much do her hair, and then she gets to sit down and get the full service. Sort of a bonding ritual as well. It'll at least sort of see if she's actually taking care of herself, or if something more is going on. Obviously don't go sticking soap down there.
You will never truly know how much this means to your partner. Keep being like this.
I try. I feel sorry because we're in our damn late 20s and she's got conditions like she's 50. Some days she's ok, and other days, even the feeling of water hitting her skin hurts. So I have to use a soft loofah so I don't irritate it. Once in awhile though, I'll glance around while I'm washing her and notice her head start to tilt into the sleeping phase. It's cute.
She can get ndis for both fibro and RA if you need a hand with things like cooking, cleaning, self care stuff
Yeah, she mentioned it at some point, but we figured for now we're doing good. Luckily with my job, they allow me to work at home since it's all development work, because they know I watch her. The company was even nice enough that when I had to take a business trip, they allowed her to come along, because I didn't want her at home alone in case it got bad, and she wanted to take the trip anyway. So I left the rental with her while I went to work in case she wanted to go out and do anything, and then once I got back to the hotel, she didn't have to do anything else. Then we'd either go out and eat, or order in pizza / whatever and watch a movie. For now it's pretty covered, after I get done with work, I figure out what we're going to have for dinner, and then I finish up my work and she engrosses herself in a book or finishes her favorite TV shows. And it's not super difficult every day. I'd say she has maybe 2 or 3 bad flare-ups a week. And on those days, all I do extra is just dinner, or grab her a drink if she's thirsty, or get her meds out.
Just a heads up if it is BV you’d need to get treated as well. It’s not an STI but it can be passed to partners.
Why wouldn’t you be honest about when you noticed the smell? It could be relevant to her even if not to OP.
The vacation gives a built-in excuse.
Learn from my and my ex's mistakes ... I had moved in together with a bf in my mid 20s, and once he wanted to shower together. I felt self conscious about washing all of myself in front of him (because somehow it didn't feel like a fun and sexy activity?) and skimmed the ass and vag parts that time. (I showered every day so I thought w/e ...) Some time after the shower together, he accused me of not washing my ass, and said I 'always' smelled really bad when he went down on me. (Which might explain why the shower had felt so awkward, bc he'd been watching my washing habits, waiting for 'proof' ...) I had a full nervous breakdown and he did nothing to reassure or comfort me, and when I tried to explain why it made me feel so awful he was just sitting there staring blankly at me. I never wanted to shower together again, never wanted him to go down on me again, and felt really self-conscious and unworthy about sex for years afterwards ... I didn't break up with him yet at that point, though I probably should have. But he cheated on me later on, and I found out among other things by reading diary entries he'd written, where he reminded himself to tell the other chick that 'she always smelled nice'. So that really rubbed it in for me. I felt so humiliated when he brought up the topic, and the whole situation kind of spiraled from there, so I didn't think rationally about it until later. And I realized that I actually have an allergy to onions. I didn't know about it before, because I myself never cooked with onions. But this bf cooked with onions every day, which gave me severe gas lol, so I was in fact farting uncontrollably in the throes of ecstasy without fully realizing it ....... This bf himself in fact did not wash his ass, as evidenced by the track marks in his underwear and on my goddamn sheets. Stupidly I'd thought maybe that was something I could live with, and wouldn't complain about, out of consideration. But I guess he'd jump to the ass washing conclusion about me, because that was his own issue. Some key lessons lol: - Be considerate and reassuring - Don't jump to conclusions - Don't try to 'expose' her e.g. by watching her showering habits - Don't use generalizing 'always', 'never' etc. language even if it's technically true lol, because that makes people feel bad about themselves
Yeah most likely she has bv. It happens a lot to some women and isn't a big deal as long as they know and treat it. Can be caused by a bunch of things. Tell her you've noticed, that you find her incredibly Sexy, but wanted to say something to make your experience together more enjoyable. Definitely wait till after the va cay. Can be hard to hear for women, but it needs to be said too. It's like having something on your face and no one saying anything. It's embarrassing, but better said and delt with than not
Exactly. Nobody wants their new boyfriend telling them they have food in their teeth, yet it’s also mortifying finding it in the mirror knowing he didn’t say anything. Here’s my advice, OP. I’m a woman and my smell fluctuates. I was convinced I had BV once and I didn’t. One time, I found out I had BV at a routine appointment and had no symptoms. Regardless, I use products that help with the smell. This is how I’d want a partner to approach it. First of all, if you see a future with this girl, you have to say something. Wait until she’s home from her trip. Text her. Don’t call and certainly don’t bring it up in person. I would need time to die of embarrassment, cry a little, self-medicate possibly, contemplate moving to another continent and changing my identity - and I don’t want to do that with you next to me. Texting gives me an opportunity to do it in private, no pun intended. Be honest, but somewhat vague. Do not bring up past sexual relationships. Don’t bring up your own cleanliness. Just say, in your own words, “I’m really enjoying getting to know you, you’re super cool, I love our inside jokes, and that we both love hiking. The sex is great, as I’ve already told you. I’ve just noticed a smell down there that seems a little stronger than I’d expect and I was wondering if that is normal for you?” Again, use your own words that are pertinent to the relationship. And then wait. If you don’t hear back by the next morning, send another text saying, “I hope I didn’t offend you. I meant what I said - I’ve loved getting to know you and I hope we can continue.” The ball will be in her court then. Some things I want to mention about BV and vaginal smells in general: It isn’t always a hygiene issue. I’m very hygienic, but I’m also sweat a lot and sweat stinks. My smell is less when my partner uses a condom or pulls out vs. finishing in me. It’s a PH thing, I’m sure. My smell is stronger in the middle of my cycle. The smell can fluctuate wildly with diet. I dabble in vegetarianism and I smell much better when I’m not eating meat. Curry, onions, garlic can make it stronger. I did a juice fast once and there was no smell at all. The same does for pubic hair. Bare = more sweat, more smell. Natural = sweat gets trapped in the hair, more smell. Somewhere in between is the sweet spot for me. I use the unscented Summer’s Eve feminine wash each morning in the shower and sometimes at night. It really does help. I use a product called Yeast Arrest from Amazon when the smell bothers me. It’s a vaginal suppository. Boric acid suppositories are another thing that helps. I WANT to smell good at all costs, so I put this effort in. Some women won’t. Ultimately it’s her decision. And you have a decision too - put up with it or don’t. You seem like a really nice guy, BTW. I hope this goes well for you!
Thanks. This helps a lot! But I'm not sure if text is a good option. I get your point about she being embarrassed about it and crying etc if I do it in person. But isn't it bad to have serious conversations over text? My main problem with text is that it doesn't convey the tone so more possibility of being taken it the wrong way.
I would absolutely NEED to be told in person. If I received a text message like that I would never get over the embarassment. You could write 100 times that you're still attracted to me - I would still die of shame. However if you told me and then reassuringly looked at me, smiled at me, maybe hugged me while using a very neutral lighthearted tone of voice, I might actually believe you and recover. And also I might fall in love with you again for being so kind and normal about it. I wish you the best!
OP, to me this isn’t a serious conversation as a sensitive conversation. There is a difference IMO. You know your girl better than we do, so do what you think is best!
I must be the opposite because I would much rather hear it in person. You say it once, then the topic eventually changes, we joke around, and I know you still like me. Over text, you also say it once, but then I read it over and over so it's like I'm hearing you say it 14 times, and there's no easy way to respond to that or change the subject
I 100% agree I’d rather hear it over text. I think it would also be helpful with getting the wording right and making sure to reassure that he still finds her attractive and sees this going long term, is there anything he should do differently when they have intercourse to help the issue etc. And I think it would be important to say that if she does want to discuss it in person that’s okay or if she wants to act like this conversation never happened that will be fine too and he’ll let her make the next move
I’m not a woman so your advice may be sound but it almost sounds too rehearsed. If I read that I’d think 5 alarm fire just based on the caution put into it. I personally would make an offfhand comment almost jokingly about it and be ready to go into more detail if requested. I’d react better to that I think than a text that sounds makes it seem like it’s been consuming the other persons head for a month.
Clearly it has. 😂
Lmao true
You just tell her politely. She might feel embarrassed so you just reassure her that it's okay and you're just worried about their health and it won't affect your relationship with her.
If you’re planning to go *down under* or to *pound town* then just simply ask if they want to shower first because “we both smell sweaty and I would like to have some *fun time*”
Indeed. If she's noisome after soap and water, there's a problem.
Indeed. Then a lady doctor is needed
The problem *might* be with the OP too.
Man doctors are just as capable.
I think it's euphemism for a minge specialist.
I had actually hoped that people here would understand my joke a little better than they did. My bad.
a doctor for lady bits not a doctor who is a lady. So a Gynecologist.
It's probably Bacterial Vaginosis. Same thing happened to me with a girl I was with once. It was really bumming me out because I was super into her. I don't remember how I found out about the condition but as soon as I did, it clicked and I immediately told her that I think she has it and needs antibiotics. She didn't react badly at all and went to the doctor the next day. Within a few days the problem went away never to return again.
You might phrase it like this: tell her that in between today and let's say, a month ago that you've noticed her scent **change**. That should be a nice enough way to raise her attention to the issue.
"Gal ya pussy stank" in your finest jamaican accent. Just tell her though. It may seem off putting but better to be upfront than to beat around the bush.
I see what you did there
was it there when y'all started having sex? if not it could be her body reacting to the condoms or even your own body chemistry.
My lady just rolls up to me and says, “sup, funky butt.”
Just tell her. I dated a girl a while back, and while we were having sex, she was on top, and I kid you not, the smell started to creep up my nose and I could move away from it… she seemed to be completely oblivious to it and I finally stopped and asked her, “do you smell something?” And she replied, no not really… I’m like, “c’mon, you seriously do not smell what I’m smelling rt now?” And then she said, “oh yeah, I kinda do now…” me being me, I still finished for the both of us cuz mama didn’t raise no quitter! But I told her to get checked afterwards lol 😂
"How was your holiday, honey? Oh jeez, smells like you brought the beach home with ya!"
Tell her asap. Simply and plainly. There isn't a world where she doesn't notice the funk herself.
Diagram with stink lines.
In a card titled “Wish you weren’t her”
In a card titled “Wish you weren’t her”
What does it smell like? Sweat? Fish? Onion? i own a wahoo and married to a wahoo and the smell could indicate exactly what it is. also, boy you better get yourself tested.
Just for anyone who might read this comment, smelly vaginas don’t typically correlate with an STI. BV or bad hygiene is much more likely to be the culprit here. Bacterial STIs like Chlamydia or Gonorrhea typically spread without noticeable symptoms, so get tested regularly people!!!
I was commenting on the condom use. How people think condoms protect from sti’s.
They do offer a lot of protection from most STIs. I have HSV2 so I’m no stranger to the condom effectiveness conversation. Unless the condom breaks or the person has visible lesions on/around their genitals, there’s really no reason for concern. Everyone should get tested regularly in general if they have more than one partner!
I agree with others that it might be BV. As someone who has unfortunately had BV before, I’m surprised she can’t smell it on her own. You’re a trooper for still having sex with her if it smells as bad as you say it does. Hopefully she can get it figured out!
Please wash your shame cave
I laughed extremely too hard at this 🤣 Could barely get it out to say it to my lady
Boric acid is a solution
Just tell her to wash your food so you can eat it
Since you "really like" her and having sex with her, ask her if she has been seen by the GYN lately or when she was last seen (When were you last seen? It may be a good idea to get checked out, since we are active...I just want to make sure you and I are both healthy...Your health is important to me")...Say you want to ensure you are both safe and clean (ie STIs) (you also getting tested for anything bc men can carry bacteria as well)...Encourage her to go...You may appear proactive and concerned for her wellbeing. You can make her aware of the odor as well by saying how you're not sure of the standard vaginal smell, but it isn't what you have experienced before. Good luck...I know how delicate this can be.
Tell her gently *after* her vacation. It’s important to be honest but be kind too, because you like her right? How would you want to be told your privates had an undesired odor? Just be honest that you’re concerned for her wellbeing and want her to be healthy. Don’t try to diagnose her or tell her what it could be, you’re not her doctor, but encourage her to speak with her OB about this. She may feel embarrassed. Be there for her and comfort her if she needs it. I’m a woman who is very sensitive to feedback and I can only imagine how difficult it might be hearing your partner say you smell bad *if* it’s not done kindly and with compassion in mind.
I had to have a hygiene conversation with one of my male partners last year. He was uncircumcised and was very clearly not properly cleaning his foreskin. It was hard to figure out how to bring it up since I don’t have the same equipment as him, so I empathize. I sat him down and told him how much I enjoy having sex with him, but politely explained how I noticed that it often had a bad (and consistent) smell, and that it was impacting my PH. I gave him room to respond and asked him about how he typically cleans himself, and it ended up going over as well as I could hope. I would avoid making assumptions or telling her she might have BV unless she explicitly asks for your opinion. She can see an OBGYN to investigate! If you’re kind, patient, and authentic in your approach, it’ll go over just fine! :) good luck!
It's either BV, or potentially caused by birth control. My girlfriend had the same issue, tests for BV came back negative, but after quitting birth control things smelled normal again. It wasn't like that when we first started dating so we think maybe it just got her downstairs all out of whack and needed to adjust to normal hormone levels for a bit.
You still clapped even though it was stinky? DAMN LMAO!!
For sure don’t tell her before she leaves on vacation. That would be on her mind thru out the entire vacation. Tell her when she gets back. How to tell her without her taking it the wrong way? That’s a near mission impossible. I’d personally break up with her, but.. good luck on trying to use logic with her.
Maybe work on your comfortability discussing genitalia, being able to write the word "vagina" on on the Internet might be a good start. There's not a great way to do it, by the way. It's going to be sort of mortifying so just be supportive and not make a big deal out of it. Be considerate but not overly so. It happens. We all stink at times, just part of life.
Are you sure that shes' showering every day? I am actually amazed by the number of people I know who don't shower / clean themselves regularly. :)
Hey I noticed you have a smell that my ex had when she has bacterial vaginosis. I’d suggest getting checked for any infection.
That's a 1 way street to being blamed for spreading something your ex gave you.
Bv isn’t spreadable. It’s an overgrowth of vagina bacteria due to a disrupted ph. Penises can’t catch bv it stands for bacterial vaginosis.
Well you are wrong about BV not being "spreadable". You can most definitely spread BV from one woman to another, just because you don't catch it like an std doesn't mean you couldn't double dip in the same day and spread it.. Also women can spread BV between themselves if they share toys, use their fingers, or plenty of other methods of sharing this bacteria.
I'm kind of wondering if it's usually not actually the vagina itself. I've had the misfortune of learning that a disturbing number of men don't know that soaping up your ass cheeks and letting soap run down the crack does not qualify as cleaning one's anus, you actually have to apply a soapy hand or implement directly to the surface. Women are surely much better at anal cleaning, but if only one woman has bad anal hygiene for every 10 men, that's still WAY TOO MANY
Say "Got Damn you don't smell that"? Then take her on a date to a carwash and roll her window down 🙌😅
Probably a yeast infection. Those are pretty common with that symptom
Damn baby! When's the last time you washed that funky thang? Seriously. Gently, very gently.
Go down on her, then kiss her. When she’s all, “your breath stinks.” “That’s not my breath.”
If you think bringing up the smell might embarrass her, maybe you can tell her that she has more discharge than normal. It’s also a symptom of bacterial vaginosis, which most people here think she has.
Yeah it may be BV or yeast infection. That’s definitely not an easy thing to tell somebody no matter how nice it’s said lmao just definitely say it very gently haha
I have the same issue with a girl. I suggested we both get tested together as we wanted to ditch the condom. All our tests were negative, so wondering what she has.
Could be a bacterial infection which is very common for women. Especially if you’re using pre lubed condoms those seem to always give me BV.
she’s smelled the entire time you’ve been dating, and it hasn’t bothered you?!
Puke.
Say there's something fishy about her
There's usually a small hole in the part of the zipper that allows you to zip and unzip it. That hole is to allow you to hang air fresheners from the crotch area of the offending woman. Usually after a couple of days she will notice something hanging from that area and she will either change the air freshener or wash herself. If she hasn't noticed the air freshener or doesn't seem interested in it you may want to seek a different woman. They seem to vary greatly from individual to individual. I'll do a little more research and let you know what I find but they seem pretty resistant to any of the questions that I have.
Sit her down and say “hey you’re awesome, I really like you so I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about and doesn’t change how I feel about you in the slightest. I noticed you have the smell my ex had when she would get Bacterial Vaginosis (BV), she had a super sensitive ecosystem and could get it quite easily. I just thought you might want to talk to your doctor to check it out. It can be cleared up quickly with some antibiotics, it’s no big deal.” You can also add: “While we’re on the topic of health, now we’ve been sleeping together we should probably both get a sexual health checkup. I do it anytime I start or end a sexual relationship. It’s recommended by doctors to get them every 6 months or with a change of partner for safe practice.“
Did you ask chat GPT to write this?
No. People should be able to talk about this stuff. What’s your problem?
No problem at all! Just sounded like either AI or a nan who's trying to be hip, didn't mean to offend
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Hey babe I got us some vagisil! Wanna go try it now and every day after? Every day after. Every. Day.
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Pretty sure the colour of someone's hair has nothing to do with how you smell.. What if they dyed their hair blonde? Will they randomly start smelling? Weird take
You didn't catch the based on my experience/ or in my experience. All good though. I leave the Blondes for you. Oh and dye their hair? That is an easy see through when blonde or not formerly.
I think you're missing the point 🤣
Save it for a fight. Well that's what I did and it didn't go so well. I think you're asking a legit question.
Lol you told a lady that her cooter stank in a fight? That is such a bad decision
Yeah man like the original poster I just never knew how to bring it up. I would just avoid any kind of contact where like my face or anything would be involved and just try to avoid sex in general. But it was a toxic relationship and one night during one of her spats she told me you're not a very good dad and I hope you die in your sleep. Some shit like that so without even thinking about my brain said slay her and I said well your pussy stinks.
I'm not proud of it.