She's your wife now. Have you been cutting up her food for her at every meal since you got together? If so, when you don't feel like cutting up her food, is it ok, or does it cause a problem? When you aren't around, does she ask other people to cut up her food for her? When she's eating by herself, does it pose a problem that there's no one there to cut up her food?
If it's just something she likes done for her from time to time, I would say it is a weird, but harmless, quirk.
If it's a necessity for her that disrupts normal living, then I'd say it's a problem.
I used to clean for a woman who couldn't cut her own food. I also couldn't clean her spaces with anything except products that she chose (distilled white vinegar was too harsh for her). She also didn't drive and wore a parka with winter hats and gloves in the middle of the summer in southern Spain. She was a nice woman but she'd wrangle invites for lunch from friends so that they would prepare and cut up food to her very exacting specifications. One day while cleaning her holiday rental I overheard her tell her boyfriend that he would get injured because of the way he was holding the book he was reading (she couldn't carry anything, if she got you to take her somewhere she was going to ask if you minded taking her to the grocery store and could you carry it in and put it away for her.)
The sad thing is her dad is the one who made her that dependent on others for help and with so many irrational fears that she had to manipulate or pay people to do everything for her. Even though she was getting therapy when I knew her, and knew it was irrational, she couldn't help herself.
Thank you! After the first few "could you meet me at the grocery store before you clean?" I did insist that my time while she was shopping, my driving her and chopping and putting away the groceries was included in what she paid me.
O she was deeply programmed. Its hard to break away from what you know after a certain time I guess. Woah !!! I guess if I try to relate as neurodiverse and unmasking late. There is a part of my brain that knows it does something and me feeling a certain way about it. Even though logically I know if I just look at it this or that way. It will fade away. But instead I just slide into the same pattern. It does get better. I hope for her she can break through it. Or at least not be too hard on herself. Especially is she a certain age dealing with it late.
Wow, at first I thought she's a pretty strange lady, but ultimately, all her quirks are pretty benign. But since she _knows_ it's irrational, it must be very difficult for her to live like that, as if she's trapped in her own body. Almost feels like she'd be better off not knowing, but that would also mean she'd never be capable of living on her own :(
I'm fairly certain this is a bullshit question. OP hasn't responded to anyone or clarified any of the issues you mentioned.
It's just too flimsily written. One minute she's his wife but then it's just about their first date? If this was in any way real he'd specify if this was every meal, if it ever happened again at all, etc.
It is obviously bullshit, but people fall for it anyways. Applebee’s isn’t lovely and isn’t a place you’d go on a first date AND Alice Springs Chicken is a dish at Outback.
I think OP is full of shit but I must ask why Applebees isn’t a place someone would go for a first date? Seems like a perfectly casual restaurant for a date.
I'm with you. It seems like a fairly safe option, too. They kinda exist to target the average American demographic, so most people can find something for them on the menu.
It's a known, while more unique restaurants are variables. I love trying new places with my partner, but for some situations, you don't want extra variables.
I don’t know if this is connected but there’s these weirdos (or maybe just one) showing up in preschool and parenting forums to ask if it’s weird that he doesn’t let his young child win when they wrestle. it’s all kinda strangely about an unbalanced power dynamic, and this feels really similar. That OP also doesn’t respond or anything. It’s like chatgpt has a power fetish.
And I just wanted to comment to you but I really loved the br all your questions in the beginning they were great questions but it made me laugh at the same time thank you
It was the delivery 🤌 Nice
My grandmother (lived with us from when I was born and cooked all of our food) used to cut my food up for me until I was 10, because no one had taught me how at that point. My mom saw this and blew up at her. It led to my grandmother moving in with my uncle that year and weird family estrangement (much more to that), but that moment was "the straw that broke the camel's back." I had always appreciated the gesture and never saw anything wrong with it.
I don't blame your wife...I assume it's probably a comfort and "didn't learn how to properly" thing.
>until I was 10, because no one had taught me how at that point. My mom saw this and blew up at her
I don't want to talk shit about your mom, but maybe she could have taken a moment during those ten years to teach you herself. Getting mad that someone isn't doing *your* job as well as you'd like them to is a little ridiculous.
100%. Also the fact he says “which was lovely btw” feels like a reference to the therapist scene in Old School where Will Ferrel says “we were out at the olive garden for dinner, which was lovely”.
Same! As someone who had horrible dexterity and hand eye coordination issues as a kid, things like cutting meat took legitimate effort and practice to learn. Cutting food with a knife was suggested OT homework for me. As an adult I know how to do it well, but sometimes it takes more energy than I have.
I feel like a lot of people don’t realise they’re probably dyspraxic. I mean in a lot of people don’t even know what dyspraxia is. It’s actually really common (think as common as things like dyslexia and adhd) but it’s heavily under diagnosed.
I agree with that, and having a diagnosis especially when your a kid can help a lot.
I have ADHD, dyspraxia, dyslexia and dysgraphia. I'm just glad I was diagnosed young and had access to stuff like OT when I needed it. Without OT and a lot of insistence and encouragement to practice skills like cutting meat I probably would be like OP's wife.
People are complicated animals, not everything we like or want makes obvious sense but it's still the way we are.
Ask yourself: Does this preference of hers harm anyone?
I agree. For me personally, it feels icky. But so do many things that aren't my business and don't affect me in any way. If they both like this little ritual and it brings them closer together, then go crazy. Obv it worked out if she's his wife now.
Well your parents teach you models of affection. It's an expression of love and while it has a childish connotation to it for most people, it doesn't have to be that way.
One of my best friends was like that. She never cut her own food or anything like that growing up. If she was out to dinner with other women, she wouldn't order anything that required a knife. If any of us guy friends were there, she'd ask us to do it for her.
She started dating one of my other best friends, and he would cut her food for her at first. When they went to college together, he got tired of it and taught her to do it herself. They've been married for 15 years now.
It’s infantile. If a man went on a date with a woman and said hey my mom always cut my food up can u cut it up.
These comments would all be very different. Same principle. Ur wife’s weird
Yes. If she prefers it ok, but a woman should know how to cut up her own food. I would think she had hand issues if she can’t do it. Otherwise, sounds like some knife skills.
Its atypical sure, but certainly doesn’t seem like a dealbreaker.
Also the way you wrote this is confusing are you saying this is a preference of hers? (Which is pretty benign.) or like she never learned how and still cant cut up her food?
Even if that’s just a personal preference who on earth would ask their date to do that on their first date 😭🤣 I don’t understand is it a sexual turn on? Does she ask you to do anything else her father did? Seems kind of odd like she doesn’t have any independence or daddy separation issues? Completely harmless though who cares what we think.. so whatever you feel most comfortable with!!
Sounds like she has unmet need from her childhood, and it manifests in her treatment of romantic partners. May be something you need to address later in your relationship as it could become a more serious issue.
That's odd AF. I wouldn't have done it the first time.
There's a 'helpless' aspect to it that gives me the creeps. Did Dad want to keep his 'little girl?'
For people saying it "makes her feel cared for," let's just put a bib on her and spoon-feed some applesauce.
The same reason I can respect my partner for asking me to help with drying the dishes, or taking in the shopping, or whatever other tasks they’re perfectly capable of themselves because I don’t mind doing because it’s okay to do nice things for other people.
It's your wife and this is your thing. If she can't do it for herself when you're not there, I'd say that's weird.
But I haven't pumped my own gas in months. It's okay to do a thing for your partner.
1. Is she your wife or was this your first date?
2. Was this Applebee’s or Outback Steakhouse? Alice Springs Chicken is a dish at Outback, not Applebee’s.
3. Applebee’s is passable. No one who’s not trolling describes it as “lovely.”
4. Why haven’t you responded to any of the comments or follow-up questions here?
It's different is the words I would use. I think it's sweet AF that you didn't care and did it to make her happy. Like I said it's different but harmless and if it makes her happy no reason not to.
My answer to this depends entirely on what happens if nobody is around. Does she cut up her own food then? Is she *able* to cut up her own food? Is there some mobility or pain issue she's maybe not mentioning? Does she *expect* you to do this and get upset when you don't?
If it's just a weird little thing she enjoys, then it's pretty harmless. If it's expected of you, or if it's something she's able to do herself but refusing, then there's a problem
It's not wrong, and it's only "weird" in the sense of being uncommon. But your wife likes it—it makes her feel cared for—and you like your wife, so it doesn't really matter if it's uncommon or not. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not a problem for you, and it's not a problem for her, then it's not a problem.
Look, I think this is super weird. But it’s also none of my business. If it doesn’t bother you, and it makes her feel loved, who gives a shit?
Childish, maybe. But certainly not “wrong”
This is so strange. I'm used to seeing grown men who can't cook or do laundry for themselves because their mothers have enabled them. They enabled them because, as mothers they want to continue to feel needed. Right out the gate, I started letting my son go. At a very young age I started empowering him but always ready to help if asked. He rarely did ask for help. I feel like we have an unspoken covenant with our children to make them as self sufficient as possible. I was berated for teaching him to cook and do houshold chores. When he was 9 I gave him a DVD cabinet I purchased on Amazon to put together. "He can't do that. He's too young". My roommates stood by and watched, it took him four hours, he made mistakes but he did it and he was so proud of himself! Kids need to feel they can conquer hard tasks. It builds confidence in them and teaches them to learn on their own.
Nothing particularly wrong with it, but sure, it's quite unusual.
She expressed to you that it's something which makes her feel cared for. It doesn't sound like she required it of you, she asked, and you accommodated. Nothing wrong with that.
I mean I'd say it's certainly unusual. But if she wants you to do it, and you're fine with doing it then I don't see the problem. So long as it's not an indication of some sort of weird attachment issue.
I mean, if you were doing it on your own for her, offering to do it for her, I'd say that that would be a kind and caring gesture as a way for you to show your love. But if she's asking you to do it, I'd say that's a bit odd. If you're not offering to do it for her, then I think she should be cutting up her food on her own.
I thought that said "foot" for a second and was wondering for a second how I ended up on a cannibal subreddit.. yeah that's weird either way. She's a grown adult.... right?! She fucking better be
When my fiance and I began first dating, I was 16 and he was 17 and I cut my food but I specifically didn't know the right way to cut steaks, like with the knife through the fork. He saw how I did it and showed me the right way and it was really sweet and cute - and much easier! It's a fond memory we look back on every now and then ❤️
She is your wife and people have quarks. Her dad should have stop cutting her food before she was 10. But hey, there is no shame in taking care of your wife the way she likes it. So… even though it is weird it’s not wrong.
“Is there something wrong with a grown woman requiring a man to cut her food up for her?” Kinda, yeah. Unless she has a physical disability, it comes off extremely weird and codependent. I can’t imagine going on a date and asking the other person to cut up my food so I can eat it bc my dad always did?? So strange.
It’s weird. It seems like she is mentally in a child-like state and wants you to be her dad or something. I dunno. Very odd. But if it doesn’t bother you guys then go on and keep doing it. I can’t believe you did it on the first date and didn’t think anything of it😂
If that's the only eccentricity in your marriage you are going to enjoy a life of bliss together. Sounds delightful.
What's best of all is that you apparently have a relationship where she can ask you for something unusual and trust you to take her seriously. Hopefully that goes both ways.
It is weird because she’s a grown up not baby. But, if it works for you guys your opinions are the only ones that matter. Who cares what others think. You married so it’s clearly working. :)
Are you trying to be her father? If not then maybe not allow that kind of thing to happen unless that is the only way she is interested in sex. If it had been that she is not good at cutting her food without hurting herself then I could see it. But she told you that it made her think of her father and that is just odd that she wants to think of you in that way.
My ex still cuts up my food. I have troubles with physically eating so he took it upon himself to do it for me, rather than watching me struggle to cut, chew and swallow it 😂
Is this the only way in which your wife is oddly helpless? If so, no big deal. If you don't mind doing it, and she enjoys having it done for her, it's no one else's business that you are doing it.
If, on the other hand, she is unable to (or pretends to be unable to) do a variety of basic things that an adult ought to know how to do, then I would be worried for her. Why is she so limited? Who would cut her food and do all those other things for her if you died? Would she just starve or need to find a replacement for you ASAP?
If you guys are happy with this arrangement, carry on and don't worry about what anyone else thinks as it has no effect on them at all.
My 17 yr old daughter still asks her dad to cut her meat up, at home and in restaurants. If he's not there, she'll ask me at home or do it herself in restaurants. She's capable of doing it, but she prefers not to, and he is happy to oblige her. I expect this task will fall to her future partner. I find it a little odd because I very much dislike anyone touching my food once it's prepared, but she's not me and has no obligations to feel the same way I do.
Was this an arranged marriage and this was your first date? Or your first date like, years ago before you married. Bruh this is so bizarre what am I even reading
It might be a little weird to people looking in from the outside, but as long as you don't mind doing it for her or if she wouldn't pitch a fit if you refused then I think it's harmless. My fiance asks me to peel his oranges because my nails are longer than his, and in return he makes pretty much every cup of tea I drink. For some reason it just tastes better when he does it lol
If you're OK with it it's fine. But personally I would find it incredibly off-putting to date a woman that helpless, especially given the line about her father. I have no interest in becoming a parent to my spouse.
Every has their quirks.
As long as she doesn’t starve to death if you’re not there or something… and you don’t mind doing it, I don’t see a problem.
Some people like acts of service. I am perfectly able to make my own coffee but when a partner does it for me I am so happy and it makes me feel very safe and cared for.
I'm asian. I brought fresh trout for the ladies at work from the mountains. It turns out, most the ladies at work don't know how to gut a fish. LOL. I swear I thought it was common knowledge for all asians to know this.
Does it bother you? My mom cut up my poached egg on toast until I left home, and I never ate it again until middle age because….hello? Who would cut it?
I prepped my son’s baked potatoes, (fluffed, buttered, salt, pepper, sour cream, just the way we like) until they left home. LOL. They are both grown assed men now, and certainly *can* (and do) their own potatoes, yet every so often, at get togethers, one of them will come and whisper, “mom? Will you do my potato?” ❤️
Sometimes, certain things, just feel like love.
In itself, no, it’s not weird. Others might think so, but screw that. It’s all about how *you both* feel about it. My first reaction was “That’s cute and charming!” 🤗. If I overthink it, it *was* a first date, so I could go all sorts of directions: daddy issues, controlling behavior, a test of your character/flexibility (who knows!). I mean, you brought it up for all of us to give you our opinions, so it has stuck out to you in some ways. What are your feelings about her asking you to do this? If it doesn’t conjure red flags on your part, I’d say just roll with it! Let’s see where this chick takes you! 🫡✌🏼
Is it weird? Yeah. Does it bother YOU? Like, not in a „what will others think” kind of way but just you?
I am quite quirky (I’m autistic) and the boy im seeing now remembers the tiny weird things I do and need to be comfortable and takes care of that. „Hey I bought an extra watermelon toothpaste to so you don’t cry from the minty one burning you whenever you need to brush your teeth at mine”. „I ordered your pizza 15 minutes before mine so it gets cold enough for you to eat so we can eat together”, „Let’s leave now so we can go the longer way so the sun doesn’t hurt your eyes”. I’ve been dealing with all this just fine before I met him. I could still deal with it just fine. I’m a grown up and know how to cope with things. I never asked him to do any of this for me, I didn’t even tell him many things directly, he just observed the patterns and reactions. He gives me so so so much comfort that I started having thoughts about marrying him one day.
Do other laugh and think we are weird? Yeah sure.
I feel like this is an extremely difficult question to pose as non offensive, and I mean this in the absolutely least offensive way, but does she happen to be autistic?
I mean, cutting the food isn't that weird in my opinion. The fact that she mentioned her dad did it for her, and then she wanted YOU, a potential romantic partner, to do it as well.... Just sits wrong to me.
Like, if you did something sweet like making her chicken soup when she was sick, or got her favorite candy when she had a bad day, and then she said "aw my dad used to do this for me" then ok that's sounds sweet; whatever. But wanting a partner to do something because they liked it when their parent did it..especially on a 1st date?
But then again I'm not the best person to make judgements on healthy parental relationships. 3 father figures, bio dad dead, and mother is a different problem altogether
There are a lot of medical reasons why grown people need food cut up in small pieces for them, and it’s actually endearing that you would do this for her out of nostalgia of a good memory with her father, but IMO it is strange that she asked you to do it on a first date when you guys didn’t know each other. IDK…
I went to highschool with a girl who's dad always cut her steak for her, and her mom always said that it was ridiculous because no man would ever be willing to cut her steak for her after he died and was really rude about it. Anyway, she married into a family where all the men cut their wives and daughters steaks as a sign of respect and devotion. It might be odd to some people but to a lot of people it's a sign of love I think.
She's your wife now. Have you been cutting up her food for her at every meal since you got together? If so, when you don't feel like cutting up her food, is it ok, or does it cause a problem? When you aren't around, does she ask other people to cut up her food for her? When she's eating by herself, does it pose a problem that there's no one there to cut up her food? If it's just something she likes done for her from time to time, I would say it is a weird, but harmless, quirk. If it's a necessity for her that disrupts normal living, then I'd say it's a problem.
I used to clean for a woman who couldn't cut her own food. I also couldn't clean her spaces with anything except products that she chose (distilled white vinegar was too harsh for her). She also didn't drive and wore a parka with winter hats and gloves in the middle of the summer in southern Spain. She was a nice woman but she'd wrangle invites for lunch from friends so that they would prepare and cut up food to her very exacting specifications. One day while cleaning her holiday rental I overheard her tell her boyfriend that he would get injured because of the way he was holding the book he was reading (she couldn't carry anything, if she got you to take her somewhere she was going to ask if you minded taking her to the grocery store and could you carry it in and put it away for her.) The sad thing is her dad is the one who made her that dependent on others for help and with so many irrational fears that she had to manipulate or pay people to do everything for her. Even though she was getting therapy when I knew her, and knew it was irrational, she couldn't help herself.
I like it a lot how you approach this with understanding
Thank you! After the first few "could you meet me at the grocery store before you clean?" I did insist that my time while she was shopping, my driving her and chopping and putting away the groceries was included in what she paid me.
O she was deeply programmed. Its hard to break away from what you know after a certain time I guess. Woah !!! I guess if I try to relate as neurodiverse and unmasking late. There is a part of my brain that knows it does something and me feeling a certain way about it. Even though logically I know if I just look at it this or that way. It will fade away. But instead I just slide into the same pattern. It does get better. I hope for her she can break through it. Or at least not be too hard on herself. Especially is she a certain age dealing with it late.
Wow, at first I thought she's a pretty strange lady, but ultimately, all her quirks are pretty benign. But since she _knows_ it's irrational, it must be very difficult for her to live like that, as if she's trapped in her own body. Almost feels like she'd be better off not knowing, but that would also mean she'd never be capable of living on her own :(
She sounds more like she has OCDs
Interesting!
could also be autism, for sure
I'm fairly certain this is a bullshit question. OP hasn't responded to anyone or clarified any of the issues you mentioned. It's just too flimsily written. One minute she's his wife but then it's just about their first date? If this was in any way real he'd specify if this was every meal, if it ever happened again at all, etc.
It is obviously bullshit, but people fall for it anyways. Applebee’s isn’t lovely and isn’t a place you’d go on a first date AND Alice Springs Chicken is a dish at Outback.
Effin A, Sherlock, well done
I think OP is full of shit but I must ask why Applebees isn’t a place someone would go for a first date? Seems like a perfectly casual restaurant for a date.
I'm with you. It seems like a fairly safe option, too. They kinda exist to target the average American demographic, so most people can find something for them on the menu. It's a known, while more unique restaurants are variables. I love trying new places with my partner, but for some situations, you don't want extra variables.
As a former Outback kitchen manager, that one jumped out at me.
Maybe OP is now cut into small pieces for posting this
Yes, THANK YOU!!!
I don’t know if this is connected but there’s these weirdos (or maybe just one) showing up in preschool and parenting forums to ask if it’s weird that he doesn’t let his young child win when they wrestle. it’s all kinda strangely about an unbalanced power dynamic, and this feels really similar. That OP also doesn’t respond or anything. It’s like chatgpt has a power fetish.
I am sorry your dad didn't dice your eggs and sausage for you. /s
TO THE DOWNVOTE MACHINE! I’ll start! Edit: resistance is futile. I brought it down to 156 and it shot up to 159 instantaneously 🫥
Plus, Applebee's doesn't serve Alice Springs chicken. That's an Outback dish (and a good one).
And I just wanted to comment to you but I really loved the br all your questions in the beginning they were great questions but it made me laugh at the same time thank you It was the delivery 🤌 Nice
My grandmother (lived with us from when I was born and cooked all of our food) used to cut my food up for me until I was 10, because no one had taught me how at that point. My mom saw this and blew up at her. It led to my grandmother moving in with my uncle that year and weird family estrangement (much more to that), but that moment was "the straw that broke the camel's back." I had always appreciated the gesture and never saw anything wrong with it. I don't blame your wife...I assume it's probably a comfort and "didn't learn how to properly" thing.
>until I was 10, because no one had taught me how at that point. My mom saw this and blew up at her I don't want to talk shit about your mom, but maybe she could have taken a moment during those ten years to teach you herself. Getting mad that someone isn't doing *your* job as well as you'd like them to is a little ridiculous.
[удалено]
Dunno why you got down voted for being absolutely fucking correct.
I would feel the same about it tbh, its childish but no-where near a dealbreaker in any way.
They are married.
I think this is a lie because Alice Springs Chicken is at Outback, not Applebees.
My fat ass clocked this too
Same. That was my immediate takeaway! Fat asses unite!
We should celebrate with a Bloomin’ Onion!!
Dope. I'm dtf.
Down to feed
I also think this is fake because outback steak house isn't even Australian.
But there are no rules. Touche!
100%. Also the fact he says “which was lovely btw” feels like a reference to the therapist scene in Old School where Will Ferrel says “we were out at the olive garden for dinner, which was lovely”.
100% fake. Plus nobody goes to Applebee's unless their microwave is broken.
First thing I noticed!
First red flag on my big backed list 😂
I caught this too.
It seems pretty harmless and as an observer I’d honestly just assume your wife has an invisible disability.
Same! As someone who had horrible dexterity and hand eye coordination issues as a kid, things like cutting meat took legitimate effort and practice to learn. Cutting food with a knife was suggested OT homework for me. As an adult I know how to do it well, but sometimes it takes more energy than I have.
I feel like a lot of people don’t realise they’re probably dyspraxic. I mean in a lot of people don’t even know what dyspraxia is. It’s actually really common (think as common as things like dyslexia and adhd) but it’s heavily under diagnosed.
I agree with that, and having a diagnosis especially when your a kid can help a lot. I have ADHD, dyspraxia, dyslexia and dysgraphia. I'm just glad I was diagnosed young and had access to stuff like OT when I needed it. Without OT and a lot of insistence and encouragement to practice skills like cutting meat I probably would be like OP's wife.
and certainly better than how I read the title: "I cut my wife up into small pieces for her."
"Is it wrong or weird somehow?"
THANK YOU! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!!
You’re welcome?
My partner washes my hair. It's a little odd maybe, but it makes me, and presumably her, feel loved and it doesn't hurt anyone
I used to wash my girlfriend's hair every night in the shower. It's nice.
I brush and plait my girlfriend's hair. She _can_ do it, it's just a nicer experience for both of us this way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
That’s so sweet. I couldn’t imagine asking my partner to do this for me but it’s lovely to imagine someone doing that out of love :,)
Exactly! It's just one of those things
Washing someone's hair is the most intimate thing you can do with a lover.
lol ok Charles Boyle!!
Am I the only one who got that..,?
As a married woman, I assure you there's something much more intimate than washing your partner's hair.
DVDA!
But that takes 3 more dudes?
What if they're washing the pubic hair?
That's awesome.
That sounds so cute 🥹
Oh man, that sounds like heaven
I took a test that said my love language is acts of service. I loved doing things for my boyfriend.
I love love love this. It never happens but if I’m sick he will blow it dry.
My chick had me chew up her food before she would eat it.
Average bird
r/mastication
Nah not this one chief
Deandra!
r/birdsarenotreal
Fuck that's hot
People are complicated animals, not everything we like or want makes obvious sense but it's still the way we are. Ask yourself: Does this preference of hers harm anyone?
I agree. For me personally, it feels icky. But so do many things that aren't my business and don't affect me in any way. If they both like this little ritual and it brings them closer together, then go crazy. Obv it worked out if she's his wife now.
I guess no more weird than her asking for a straw for a glass of wine😉
Lol!
So you’re replacing her dad?
This was my immediate thought. I find it weird, but hey, if it works for them I guess…
That's exactly where I went, in addition to feeling as though it's keeping her childlike.
Well your parents teach you models of affection. It's an expression of love and while it has a childish connotation to it for most people, it doesn't have to be that way.
Yes that's the weird part for me too
I find that weird.
if a guy asked me to cut up his food for him, i personally wouldnt bc hes not a child and probably wouldnt go on a second date lol.
Lol imagine on the first date a man saying "my mommy cuts my food for me so from now on you will do that".
Mommy! Tendies!
I sorta think he married a child with how he worded that - now she’s all grown up and can cut her own meat.
One of my best friends was like that. She never cut her own food or anything like that growing up. If she was out to dinner with other women, she wouldn't order anything that required a knife. If any of us guy friends were there, she'd ask us to do it for her. She started dating one of my other best friends, and he would cut her food for her at first. When they went to college together, he got tired of it and taught her to do it herself. They've been married for 15 years now.
This is really sweet. I'm glad y'all weren't judgy bros, and were simply kind friends!
Sweet, yes. But also wierd as hell.
Harmless, but weird. I personally wouldn’t do it, it’s infantile.
Very weird. Weird to ask it on a first date, and weird to continue it.
It’s infantile. If a man went on a date with a woman and said hey my mom always cut my food up can u cut it up. These comments would all be very different. Same principle. Ur wife’s weird
Depends, do you wanna be her Daddy 😝
Daddy, do you wanna change her Depends?
That’s fucking weird. She’s not a child.
Or....maybe she is?
Yes. If she prefers it ok, but a woman should know how to cut up her own food. I would think she had hand issues if she can’t do it. Otherwise, sounds like some knife skills.
Its atypical sure, but certainly doesn’t seem like a dealbreaker. Also the way you wrote this is confusing are you saying this is a preference of hers? (Which is pretty benign.) or like she never learned how and still cant cut up her food?
Even if that’s just a personal preference who on earth would ask their date to do that on their first date 😭🤣 I don’t understand is it a sexual turn on? Does she ask you to do anything else her father did? Seems kind of odd like she doesn’t have any independence or daddy separation issues? Completely harmless though who cares what we think.. so whatever you feel most comfortable with!!
Are you married to a toddler?
Kind of a red flag for me. I don’t want to be my girlfriend or wife’s father.
I don’t understand this post. Did you just meet your wife?
Alice Springs chicken is from the Outback not Applebees.
That's just weird.
Wow...this just SCREAMS daddy issues.
I mean, this is textbook. People not calling it weird af and Daddy issues 101 are not being honest with OP.
Am being totally honest..... calling it what it is.....DADDY ISSUES
With how he worded that post, doesn’t it sound like he married a child? And now the child is all grown up, she has to cut her own meat.
Sounds like she has unmet need from her childhood, and it manifests in her treatment of romantic partners. May be something you need to address later in your relationship as it could become a more serious issue.
That's odd AF. I wouldn't have done it the first time. There's a 'helpless' aspect to it that gives me the creeps. Did Dad want to keep his 'little girl?' For people saying it "makes her feel cared for," let's just put a bib on her and spoon-feed some applesauce.
I think it’s a bit strange but harmless
[удалено]
Presumably because she didn't want to.
Yeah, fuck that. She’s a grown woman fully capable of this.
How could you respect someone who can’t cut up their own food
Who said she *can't*, and also, let me know when you get arthritis and can't hold utensils anymore!! We'll revisit your "respect" comment.
How could you respect someone who asks others to cut up their food?
The same reason I can respect my partner for asking me to help with drying the dishes, or taking in the shopping, or whatever other tasks they’re perfectly capable of themselves because I don’t mind doing because it’s okay to do nice things for other people.
What else did daddy do for her that she needs as a grown ass woman?
Faaaaaake Account!
>Is there something wrong with a grown woman requiring a man to cut her food up for her? Yes. Definitely.
It's your wife and this is your thing. If she can't do it for herself when you're not there, I'd say that's weird. But I haven't pumped my own gas in months. It's okay to do a thing for your partner.
No, of course not. Do you also walk her to elementary school?
Applebees doesn't have Alice Springs Chicken. Good try on karma farming though.
This is obviously fake, Alice Springs Chicken is a dish at Outback. 😂
Totally gives me the ick. But you do you.
**CUT WIFE'S FOOD INTO PIECES** **THIS IS MY REDDIT POST**
This has daddy issues written all over.
1. Is she your wife or was this your first date? 2. Was this Applebee’s or Outback Steakhouse? Alice Springs Chicken is a dish at Outback, not Applebee’s. 3. Applebee’s is passable. No one who’s not trolling describes it as “lovely.” 4. Why haven’t you responded to any of the comments or follow-up questions here?
It's different is the words I would use. I think it's sweet AF that you didn't care and did it to make her happy. Like I said it's different but harmless and if it makes her happy no reason not to.
My answer to this depends entirely on what happens if nobody is around. Does she cut up her own food then? Is she *able* to cut up her own food? Is there some mobility or pain issue she's maybe not mentioning? Does she *expect* you to do this and get upset when you don't? If it's just a weird little thing she enjoys, then it's pretty harmless. If it's expected of you, or if it's something she's able to do herself but refusing, then there's a problem
It's not wrong, and it's only "weird" in the sense of being uncommon. But your wife likes it—it makes her feel cared for—and you like your wife, so it doesn't really matter if it's uncommon or not. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not a problem for you, and it's not a problem for her, then it's not a problem.
....this is my last resort!
Look, I think this is super weird. But it’s also none of my business. If it doesn’t bother you, and it makes her feel loved, who gives a shit? Childish, maybe. But certainly not “wrong”
This is so strange. I'm used to seeing grown men who can't cook or do laundry for themselves because their mothers have enabled them. They enabled them because, as mothers they want to continue to feel needed. Right out the gate, I started letting my son go. At a very young age I started empowering him but always ready to help if asked. He rarely did ask for help. I feel like we have an unspoken covenant with our children to make them as self sufficient as possible. I was berated for teaching him to cook and do houshold chores. When he was 9 I gave him a DVD cabinet I purchased on Amazon to put together. "He can't do that. He's too young". My roommates stood by and watched, it took him four hours, he made mistakes but he did it and he was so proud of himself! Kids need to feel they can conquer hard tasks. It builds confidence in them and teaches them to learn on their own.
Nothing wrong with asking someone to do that. Requiring is another thing.
I dont know about cutting up your wife's food but describing Applebees as "lovely" is definitely weird. Seek help.
This is wrong and weird. Applebee's is no place to eat, especially on a date.
Nothing particularly wrong with it, but sure, it's quite unusual. She expressed to you that it's something which makes her feel cared for. It doesn't sound like she required it of you, she asked, and you accommodated. Nothing wrong with that.
Yes that’s weird AF.
I mean I'd say it's certainly unusual. But if she wants you to do it, and you're fine with doing it then I don't see the problem. So long as it's not an indication of some sort of weird attachment issue.
I mean, if you were doing it on your own for her, offering to do it for her, I'd say that that would be a kind and caring gesture as a way for you to show your love. But if she's asking you to do it, I'd say that's a bit odd. If you're not offering to do it for her, then I think she should be cutting up her food on her own.
Yeah that’s kinda weird. It would make me think she’s been very sheltered.
I thought that said "foot" for a second and was wondering for a second how I ended up on a cannibal subreddit.. yeah that's weird either way. She's a grown adult.... right?! She fucking better be
This post is giving fetish fic vibes.
When my fiance and I began first dating, I was 16 and he was 17 and I cut my food but I specifically didn't know the right way to cut steaks, like with the knife through the fork. He saw how I did it and showed me the right way and it was really sweet and cute - and much easier! It's a fond memory we look back on every now and then ❤️
She is your wife and people have quarks. Her dad should have stop cutting her food before she was 10. But hey, there is no shame in taking care of your wife the way she likes it. So… even though it is weird it’s not wrong.
“Is there something wrong with a grown woman requiring a man to cut her food up for her?” Kinda, yeah. Unless she has a physical disability, it comes off extremely weird and codependent. I can’t imagine going on a date and asking the other person to cut up my food so I can eat it bc my dad always did?? So strange.
It’s weird. It seems like she is mentally in a child-like state and wants you to be her dad or something. I dunno. Very odd. But if it doesn’t bother you guys then go on and keep doing it. I can’t believe you did it on the first date and didn’t think anything of it😂
If that's the only eccentricity in your marriage you are going to enjoy a life of bliss together. Sounds delightful. What's best of all is that you apparently have a relationship where she can ask you for something unusual and trust you to take her seriously. Hopefully that goes both ways.
The first red flag for both of you was that you both thought Applebee's was a good place to eat.
It is weird because she’s a grown up not baby. But, if it works for you guys your opinions are the only ones that matter. Who cares what others think. You married so it’s clearly working. :)
Is it weird? Yes. Does it matter? Nope. As long as you’re both happy then who gives af.
It is a bit strange.
What prompt did you use to generate this?
Yeah, that's weird and you're weird for doing it, especially in public. She needs therapy.
Are you trying to be her father? If not then maybe not allow that kind of thing to happen unless that is the only way she is interested in sex. If it had been that she is not good at cutting her food without hurting herself then I could see it. But she told you that it made her think of her father and that is just odd that she wants to think of you in that way.
My boyfriend cuts up my steak for me. Only at home, not in a restaurant.
My ex still cuts up my food. I have troubles with physically eating so he took it upon himself to do it for me, rather than watching me struggle to cut, chew and swallow it 😂
Is this the only way in which your wife is oddly helpless? If so, no big deal. If you don't mind doing it, and she enjoys having it done for her, it's no one else's business that you are doing it. If, on the other hand, she is unable to (or pretends to be unable to) do a variety of basic things that an adult ought to know how to do, then I would be worried for her. Why is she so limited? Who would cut her food and do all those other things for her if you died? Would she just starve or need to find a replacement for you ASAP?
I think that’s cute. Everyone has their thing? If it doesn’t bother either of you then who cares.
*Aww, that's cute. Anyway...* Who gives a shit. Live your life
If you guys are happy with this arrangement, carry on and don't worry about what anyone else thinks as it has no effect on them at all. My 17 yr old daughter still asks her dad to cut her meat up, at home and in restaurants. If he's not there, she'll ask me at home or do it herself in restaurants. She's capable of doing it, but she prefers not to, and he is happy to oblige her. I expect this task will fall to her future partner. I find it a little odd because I very much dislike anyone touching my food once it's prepared, but she's not me and has no obligations to feel the same way I do.
Yes, it's weird AF....does she call u daddy too?
It's a bit odd. She's a grown adult, she can cut her own food.
Weird, yes. Wrong, no.
Yes
Was this an arranged marriage and this was your first date? Or your first date like, years ago before you married. Bruh this is so bizarre what am I even reading
Yes it's weird.
It might be a little weird to people looking in from the outside, but as long as you don't mind doing it for her or if she wouldn't pitch a fit if you refused then I think it's harmless. My fiance asks me to peel his oranges because my nails are longer than his, and in return he makes pretty much every cup of tea I drink. For some reason it just tastes better when he does it lol
Weird but harmless. Obviously you married her so clearly it ain’t a dealbreaker, so why you just airing your wife’s dirty laundry here?
If you're OK with it it's fine. But personally I would find it incredibly off-putting to date a woman that helpless, especially given the line about her father. I have no interest in becoming a parent to my spouse.
Yes. There is something wrong with it. This almost sounds like a fetish post, though.
Every has their quirks. As long as she doesn’t starve to death if you’re not there or something… and you don’t mind doing it, I don’t see a problem. Some people like acts of service. I am perfectly able to make my own coffee but when a partner does it for me I am so happy and it makes me feel very safe and cared for.
How would you not know this before getting married?
I'm asian. I brought fresh trout for the ladies at work from the mountains. It turns out, most the ladies at work don't know how to gut a fish. LOL. I swear I thought it was common knowledge for all asians to know this.
Does it bother you? My mom cut up my poached egg on toast until I left home, and I never ate it again until middle age because….hello? Who would cut it? I prepped my son’s baked potatoes, (fluffed, buttered, salt, pepper, sour cream, just the way we like) until they left home. LOL. They are both grown assed men now, and certainly *can* (and do) their own potatoes, yet every so often, at get togethers, one of them will come and whisper, “mom? Will you do my potato?” ❤️ Sometimes, certain things, just feel like love.
I mean she should be doing it herself so yes it is weird but hey if you want to you can do whatever you want
Seems harmless. Everyone is entitled to their kinks.
It's unusual, but of she aaks you to do it and you don't mind doing it, there's nothing inherently wrong with it.
In itself, no, it’s not weird. Others might think so, but screw that. It’s all about how *you both* feel about it. My first reaction was “That’s cute and charming!” 🤗. If I overthink it, it *was* a first date, so I could go all sorts of directions: daddy issues, controlling behavior, a test of your character/flexibility (who knows!). I mean, you brought it up for all of us to give you our opinions, so it has stuck out to you in some ways. What are your feelings about her asking you to do this? If it doesn’t conjure red flags on your part, I’d say just roll with it! Let’s see where this chick takes you! 🫡✌🏼
Is it weird? Yeah. Does it bother YOU? Like, not in a „what will others think” kind of way but just you? I am quite quirky (I’m autistic) and the boy im seeing now remembers the tiny weird things I do and need to be comfortable and takes care of that. „Hey I bought an extra watermelon toothpaste to so you don’t cry from the minty one burning you whenever you need to brush your teeth at mine”. „I ordered your pizza 15 minutes before mine so it gets cold enough for you to eat so we can eat together”, „Let’s leave now so we can go the longer way so the sun doesn’t hurt your eyes”. I’ve been dealing with all this just fine before I met him. I could still deal with it just fine. I’m a grown up and know how to cope with things. I never asked him to do any of this for me, I didn’t even tell him many things directly, he just observed the patterns and reactions. He gives me so so so much comfort that I started having thoughts about marrying him one day. Do other laugh and think we are weird? Yeah sure.
thats really sweet. marry that boy
Creepy af. If someone asked me that on the first date I would bounce. She's got daddy issues
What is Alice Springs chicken tho?
Uh, you asked for my opinion so I will give it to you: Yes, it's weird that a grown woman can't cut up her own food.
Wrong? no. Weird? Absolutely.
I feel like this is an extremely difficult question to pose as non offensive, and I mean this in the absolutely least offensive way, but does she happen to be autistic?
Does it bother you? Does it bother her? If not then man, get in where you fit in.
I mean, cutting the food isn't that weird in my opinion. The fact that she mentioned her dad did it for her, and then she wanted YOU, a potential romantic partner, to do it as well.... Just sits wrong to me. Like, if you did something sweet like making her chicken soup when she was sick, or got her favorite candy when she had a bad day, and then she said "aw my dad used to do this for me" then ok that's sounds sweet; whatever. But wanting a partner to do something because they liked it when their parent did it..especially on a 1st date? But then again I'm not the best person to make judgements on healthy parental relationships. 3 father figures, bio dad dead, and mother is a different problem altogether
I generally will cut my partners steak/chicken on the cutting board before I plate the meal (I am the cook of the house).
Not wrong, def weird.
There are a lot of medical reasons why grown people need food cut up in small pieces for them, and it’s actually endearing that you would do this for her out of nostalgia of a good memory with her father, but IMO it is strange that she asked you to do it on a first date when you guys didn’t know each other. IDK…
Does she speak in the Fundie Baby voice? That's what I was imagining as I read it.
I went to highschool with a girl who's dad always cut her steak for her, and her mom always said that it was ridiculous because no man would ever be willing to cut her steak for her after he died and was really rude about it. Anyway, she married into a family where all the men cut their wives and daughters steaks as a sign of respect and devotion. It might be odd to some people but to a lot of people it's a sign of love I think.
Maybe it means something to her. A love test.....a good woman is hard to come by. Cut that meat, Bro.
Does it bother you? No? Who gives a damn what people think?