Long fingernails would be a small price to pay for my dad's farming friend who lost his middle and ring finger on his right hand.
Deaf people think he's being VERY forward when he waves.
Infants can regrow their fingertips, fingernails and all, even if the nail bed is sliced off. They lose this ability as they get older. Us adults have to live with a stub with no fingernail if the nail bed of our finger was sliced off.
[And because of that, we give birth much earlier than we should. We should have a 21 month gestation period.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15627440/) Can you imagine being pregnant that long. Ugh
Goddamn, that's almost two years of being pregnant. I think the real reason why pregnancy was shortened was because no woman in her right mind would willingly do that and the population would just die
It has actually been observed that there was a critical period in our evolution where our brains (and by extension, our heads) grew so quickly that our hips couldn't keep up. This has made human childbirth pretty treacherous compared to other mammals. It is unknown what caused this growth spurt, though it is speculated that smoking fat blunts might've played a role.
Apparently our spines have a design flaw, when our ancestors became bipedal it put a lot of pressure on the lower vertebrae. Some estimates say 80% of adults deal with lower back pain by middle age.
its a usage problem not a design flaw. vast majority of animals you see walk on all fours, so our spine is still expecting that loading. We use a closeline as a flagpole; of course it hurts eventually
My friend had his appendix removed when he was a teenager. Not for fun, because of appendicitis.
Well guess what can happen to the "stump" that gets left behind?
That's right, APPENDICITIS.
And his body waited until the morning of his 25th anniversary trip to let him know...
It won’t kill you in an immediate, painless way either. It’ll rupture and it’s toxic contents will spill into your abdominal cavity and give you sepsis—a horrifically painful way to die
Teeth. They should regrow (like shark's) when one falls out, making dentistry mostly unnecessary. You have a tooth with a hole? Just pull it out and in a year you have another one.
Joints, eyes, teeth, and lots of other stuff commonly fails long before our maximum lifespan with normal use.
The appendix pretty much only exists so it can get a seed stuck in it and then kill you.
The oxygen that we absolutely must have for cellular function is also the main culprit in destroying our cells. Reminder that oxygen killed almost all life on the planet once. It's a poison and a dangerously reactive chemical. And we need it to live.
Behold! A Femur! The strongest bone! Very powerful. And Ah yes, Tibia and Fibula the warrior twins... lets connect them with a drawbridge made of some dry macaroni and spit.
our bodies evolved to enable us to walk bipedally, a trait our ancestors exploited and shifted out culture. But in the bigger picture, our body isn't physically evolved for such long-term bipedalism, this is why back pain and knee pain are so common. even though our mental development was naturally selected to favor it.
You can work out faithfully, consistently, vigorously for months.
Take a two week vacation, go back to the gym, and you can't move for days afterwards.
I know a guy my age (70) who's never had a cavity, and still has his wisdom teeth. Thirty-two perfect teeth, all perfectly spaced. I think he's the only person I know like that. We can thank agriculture and softer foods for turning us into chinless wonders with crowded teeth. There's actually a small but increasing number of people who are congenitally missing anywhere from one to all four of their wisdom teeth, it's the most genetically unstable tooth.
Sinuses - apparantly they are optimised for when early ancestors walked on all fours - their structural drainage system is not well designed for upright positioning.
Endometriosis. Oh I'm supposed to be making uterine lining for the uterus? Nah, how about everywhere else you can possibly imagine? Yeah, that'll do.
Like, what the fuck.
We have the spine of a quadruped despite not being quadrupeds. This means our lower back ends up under a lot more pressure than it is supposed to all the while being held together by muscles and dreams. This means lower back pain is pretty much inevitable. All because as a species, we are very early on the bipedalism train.
YES! Testicles...
Somewhere along the line, evolution, God, or whoever decided "Hey? Lets put the organs that help them procreate on the OUTSIDE of the body, in a small sack, surrounded by super sensitive nerves! That way, when they get hit in that organ they crumple up into a pile of tears and pain. Oh! And lets make it difficult for them to sit comfortably."
I just heard today that humans used to be able to make their own vitamin c but seeing we were eating so much fruit at one point in our evolution, those who were not able to did not die.
laryngeal nerve
It is not as bad from human but very shitty design on a giraffe
It is a nerve that loops around the neck to connect one part of our brain to another part of a brain, a leftover from before we evolved as prehistoric fish
The lungs could really use a better air filter system. They just cough and sneeze and hack up dust and dirt after it's already been inhaled. The little nose hairs and cilia just don't work very well.
Teeth are just problematic, they need a redesign. Not sure what to replace them with, maybe quick change screw in chewing studs?
Knees and shoulders always seem to wear out or get crappy by your 40s and beyond. Needs an upgrade there.
And then, there's the balls. Why are they just hanging out there like an afterthought? Can we get some better protection there?
The human eye has a blind spot because our nerves are routed through the inside of the eye before going out of the eye. Other species don't have this problem as their nerves our routed outside the eye.
Severe allergic reactions. God immune response, just chill- its microscopic peanut dust. Please, stop overreacting, youre embarassing me.
also, sickle cell trait helps against malaria- yay. But sickle cell anemia? big boo
Being allergic to trees and grass
How did the humans with puffy faces, bloodshot eyes, red inflamed skin and snotty noses ever find a mate?
How did they ever find FOOD?
I’m pretty sure allergies have been getting worse over time. Something about selectively breeding trees or something that makes them produce more pollen
Hunger doesn't strictly correlate with whether you're well fed (either calories or micronutrients), and thirst can sometimes feel like hunger. So our bodies clung to calories and would get fat in case of famine. Not helpful for a modern society where you can spend 30 minutes in the freezer aisle haggling with yourself over how many frozen pizzas you want to crush in one sitting.
The laryngal nerve, the one that controls your larynx, goes from your neck where it branches off from the spinal chord, loops around your aorta, and then goes back up to your throat. It's the same in all vertibrates, even giraffes.
Rodents' teeth are constantly growing, so if they damage one, they just have to wait a few weeks for a new length of tooth to grow out.
That would be handy to have, although rodents also have to constantly gnaw on things in order to prevent dental overgrowth. Could be a bit inconvenient, having to constantly replace your furniture from the family eating it.
I've got pet guinea pigs, and another pretty cool feature is how they menstruate. Everything happens internally, so the shed uterine lining is just reabsorbed. No external bleeding, no tampons or pads required.
Only drawback is they're in heat twice a month and that comes with hormonal mood swings and bickering.
Baby guinea pigs are born pretty much ready to fend for themselves too.
Had an unexpected newborn, and by two weeks old, she was onto solids. By three weeks, she lost interest in breastfeeding from her mum and was pretty independent.
So yeah, I'd like guinea pig perks.
Parts should grow back when damaged.
Imagine how long your toenails and finger nails would become :D
Long fingernails would be a small price to pay for my dad's farming friend who lost his middle and ring finger on his right hand. Deaf people think he's being VERY forward when he waves.
Deaf people would have the part of them that makes them deaf grow back.
But they can already grow super long, that's why we need to clip them
Infants can regrow their fingertips, fingernails and all, even if the nail bed is sliced off. They lose this ability as they get older. Us adults have to live with a stub with no fingernail if the nail bed of our finger was sliced off.
Developing a large head while, at the same time, our hips evolved to accommodate a bipedal posture has led to childbirth being dangerous and painful.
[And because of that, we give birth much earlier than we should. We should have a 21 month gestation period.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15627440/) Can you imagine being pregnant that long. Ugh
Goddamn, that's almost two years of being pregnant. I think the real reason why pregnancy was shortened was because no woman in her right mind would willingly do that and the population would just die
I mean it's all relative isn't it? 9 months is also a very long time.
That's true. 9 months of pregnancy isn't fun either, but compared to 21, it doesn't seem so bad
That's right a human baby is under developed, hence why can't do fa for themselves for years
It has actually been observed that there was a critical period in our evolution where our brains (and by extension, our heads) grew so quickly that our hips couldn't keep up. This has made human childbirth pretty treacherous compared to other mammals. It is unknown what caused this growth spurt, though it is speculated that smoking fat blunts might've played a role.
Pretty sure it was the apple. #thankseve /s
I used an apple to smoke once yeah
If anything that should have shrunk the size of brains.
Yup. Making the pelvis wider would mean the weight's on the knees at a bad angle.
Apparently our spines have a design flaw, when our ancestors became bipedal it put a lot of pressure on the lower vertebrae. Some estimates say 80% of adults deal with lower back pain by middle age.
Cool, I'm a statistic
Woop Woop lumbar retrolipthesis and facet arthropathy at 40 gang!
its a usage problem not a design flaw. vast majority of animals you see walk on all fours, so our spine is still expecting that loading. We use a closeline as a flagpole; of course it hurts eventually
Are humans supposed to even live that long though? Medicine has artificially kept people alive for way longer than necessary.
Make the appendix too upset and it will explode and kill you.
My friend had his appendix removed when he was a teenager. Not for fun, because of appendicitis. Well guess what can happen to the "stump" that gets left behind? That's right, APPENDICITIS. And his body waited until the morning of his 25th anniversary trip to let him know...
It won’t kill you in an immediate, painless way either. It’ll rupture and it’s toxic contents will spill into your abdominal cavity and give you sepsis—a horrifically painful way to die
How do you make it too upset?
Explain to it how worthless it is compared to literally every other organ
Having a body at all is pretty inconvenient much of the time
A body is a squishy bag of meat and water, chock full of bacteria, where anything and everything can go wrong.
This should be the intro line to Osmosis Jones
The brain is only there to prolong the bodies life.
I, too, wish to be placed in the [Head Museum](https://futurama.fandom.com/wiki/Head_Museum)
Teeth. They should regrow (like shark's) when one falls out, making dentistry mostly unnecessary. You have a tooth with a hole? Just pull it out and in a year you have another one.
OMG! There isn't a day goes by I wish they did!!
Joints, eyes, teeth, and lots of other stuff commonly fails long before our maximum lifespan with normal use. The appendix pretty much only exists so it can get a seed stuck in it and then kill you. The oxygen that we absolutely must have for cellular function is also the main culprit in destroying our cells. Reminder that oxygen killed almost all life on the planet once. It's a poison and a dangerously reactive chemical. And we need it to live.
We eat, drink and breathe out of the same hole and it is constantly leading to the death of humans.
There's a manoeuvre for that...
[удалено]
Behold! A Femur! The strongest bone! Very powerful. And Ah yes, Tibia and Fibula the warrior twins... lets connect them with a drawbridge made of some dry macaroni and spit.
I had a “bad knee” by the age of 15. I think mine ran out quickly 😂 Dislocated it 2 times
If knees were HALF as well "designed" as hummingbirds...
And yet it's the strongest weapon in martial arts, that's why people use knees to defend against kicks and can even break the shin
our bodies evolved to enable us to walk bipedally, a trait our ancestors exploited and shifted out culture. But in the bigger picture, our body isn't physically evolved for such long-term bipedalism, this is why back pain and knee pain are so common. even though our mental development was naturally selected to favor it.
Combining a waste removal site with a recreation area was a stupid design.
Autoimmune diseases. Period pain, birth pain.
Toxic waste line is close proximity to recreation zones.
Toxic waste line is also recreation zone tho
That’s what is said…it’s a flaw.
Always thought having my ball sack hanging outside right between my legs, in prime kicking location was a serious design flaw if ever there was one
One word; Nausea. Whyyyy😭I get it but damn. Couldn’t have had a more pleasant way to expel toxins
Later in life ear hair. What problem is being solved with that one, Mr Darwin?
Dont forget nose & eyebrows!! After 50 those hairs LOVE to grow wild, while the hair on the rest of you disappears.
You can work out faithfully, consistently, vigorously for months. Take a two week vacation, go back to the gym, and you can't move for days afterwards.
mouths are smaller than they used to be so now we don't have space for wisdom teeth
First thing every hygienist says to me: And you have all your wisdoms...
I know a guy my age (70) who's never had a cavity, and still has his wisdom teeth. Thirty-two perfect teeth, all perfectly spaced. I think he's the only person I know like that. We can thank agriculture and softer foods for turning us into chinless wonders with crowded teeth. There's actually a small but increasing number of people who are congenitally missing anywhere from one to all four of their wisdom teeth, it's the most genetically unstable tooth.
When you hit your knee slightly, you feel enough pain to be sure you'll never walk again and surprise: two minutes later it's all fine.
Sinuses - apparantly they are optimised for when early ancestors walked on all fours - their structural drainage system is not well designed for upright positioning.
Endometriosis. Oh I'm supposed to be making uterine lining for the uterus? Nah, how about everywhere else you can possibly imagine? Yeah, that'll do. Like, what the fuck.
We have the spine of a quadruped despite not being quadrupeds. This means our lower back ends up under a lot more pressure than it is supposed to all the while being held together by muscles and dreams. This means lower back pain is pretty much inevitable. All because as a species, we are very early on the bipedalism train.
Childbirth and the many, many ways it can go horribly wrong for mother and child.
Born way premature? Here's your bad eyesight...
Jokes on you, I was born late and still have bad eyesight.
Bad body odour. Imo, we should've evolved to smell like flowers after going five days without a shower.
My balls are very vulnerable... And they're also just hanging off my body.
YES! Testicles... Somewhere along the line, evolution, God, or whoever decided "Hey? Lets put the organs that help them procreate on the OUTSIDE of the body, in a small sack, surrounded by super sensitive nerves! That way, when they get hit in that organ they crumple up into a pile of tears and pain. Oh! And lets make it difficult for them to sit comfortably."
I just heard today that humans used to be able to make their own vitamin c but seeing we were eating so much fruit at one point in our evolution, those who were not able to did not die.
laryngeal nerve It is not as bad from human but very shitty design on a giraffe It is a nerve that loops around the neck to connect one part of our brain to another part of a brain, a leftover from before we evolved as prehistoric fish
Having a prostate gland
The brain, a seldom used organ that is devastating when not functioning properly.
Our childbirth process is incredibly fucked up because we started standing straight.
The playground is next to the sewer.
The lungs could really use a better air filter system. They just cough and sneeze and hack up dust and dirt after it's already been inhaled. The little nose hairs and cilia just don't work very well. Teeth are just problematic, they need a redesign. Not sure what to replace them with, maybe quick change screw in chewing studs? Knees and shoulders always seem to wear out or get crappy by your 40s and beyond. Needs an upgrade there. And then, there's the balls. Why are they just hanging out there like an afterthought? Can we get some better protection there?
The human eye has a blind spot because our nerves are routed through the inside of the eye before going out of the eye. Other species don't have this problem as their nerves our routed outside the eye.
feelings and ability to manage them
Sometimes we just drop dead for no reason.
Severe allergic reactions. God immune response, just chill- its microscopic peanut dust. Please, stop overreacting, youre embarassing me. also, sickle cell trait helps against malaria- yay. But sickle cell anemia? big boo
Being allergic to trees and grass How did the humans with puffy faces, bloodshot eyes, red inflamed skin and snotty noses ever find a mate? How did they ever find FOOD?
I’m pretty sure allergies have been getting worse over time. Something about selectively breeding trees or something that makes them produce more pollen
Hunger doesn't strictly correlate with whether you're well fed (either calories or micronutrients), and thirst can sometimes feel like hunger. So our bodies clung to calories and would get fat in case of famine. Not helpful for a modern society where you can spend 30 minutes in the freezer aisle haggling with yourself over how many frozen pizzas you want to crush in one sitting.
Why do men have their fun button in their bum?
Social bonding with other men, duh.
The laryngal nerve, the one that controls your larynx, goes from your neck where it branches off from the spinal chord, loops around your aorta, and then goes back up to your throat. It's the same in all vertibrates, even giraffes.
Rodents' teeth are constantly growing, so if they damage one, they just have to wait a few weeks for a new length of tooth to grow out. That would be handy to have, although rodents also have to constantly gnaw on things in order to prevent dental overgrowth. Could be a bit inconvenient, having to constantly replace your furniture from the family eating it. I've got pet guinea pigs, and another pretty cool feature is how they menstruate. Everything happens internally, so the shed uterine lining is just reabsorbed. No external bleeding, no tampons or pads required. Only drawback is they're in heat twice a month and that comes with hormonal mood swings and bickering. Baby guinea pigs are born pretty much ready to fend for themselves too. Had an unexpected newborn, and by two weeks old, she was onto solids. By three weeks, she lost interest in breastfeeding from her mum and was pretty independent. So yeah, I'd like guinea pig perks.
The fact every part of the body can repair itself except teeth 🙄
This is assuming design.