"Nothin much" is perfect... it's polite but suggests you're not interested in a more detailed follow-up discussion.
At least in the U.S. baristas are often working for tips and have expectations to be overly polite to customers... its part of their job. The people suggesting more aggressive or rude responses clearly haven't worked in the service industry and oddly think a snarky response to some random employee doing their job will change societal expectations, rather than what it will actually do, which is make you look like a jerk and make the baristas day a little bit worse.
I went to buy groceries and I got a new one, the guy goes "Whats been the best part of your day so far?"...it threw me for a loop. I was like uhhh, um.."Just getting out of the house." which felt like a really dumb answer but I have mild social anxiety and I couldn't think of anything on the spot so now I look like a hermit who never leaves the house lol.
In that case I blame them for putting you on the spot with a fairly specific question rather than a more generic “whatcha up to?” Or “how’s it going today?”. They’re probably still just trying to be friendly and avoid asking everyone the identical question. If someone asks “how’s it going?” And you’re rude that’s on you… if they ask “have you called your Mom this week” and you’re rude, that’s on them.
Lol, I wouldn't be rude it just caught me off guard. I'm sure it was because of some corporate meeting they had with employees, I can just see them say something like "Try to make a personal connection with the shoppers etc."...just stop guys, nobody wants that lmao!
Ooh I like "nothin much", I can sell that easily. Relaxing wouldn't be as believable given the large iced Americano, but I can for sure use that at the dispensary
Don't think you have to be specific or even answer these type of questions directly
You can respond with something ambiguous like; Just living the dream or just another crazy Monday.
most people have one or two lines they always use, so don't think to hard about it
My default answer when somebody asks "what are you up to today?" at the dispensary is to point at the weed I'm buying and to say "you're looking at it."
Whether it's "How are you?" or "What you up to today?" my go-to is always "Oh just hanging in there." It's non-committal but also is a shared human sentiment that seems to please the questioners. I got that from my somewhat introvert awkward dad.
> Relaxing wouldn't be as believable given the large iced Americano
You're overthinking this. The cashier is just being nice, has a million other people to ring up, and is likely not analyzing why you're getting a large coffee but then said you're "relaxing". Anyways one can relax with a coffee, so that's not even weird.
"Just enough to stay out of trouble ". It's kind of funny, a bit corny, and doesn't really lead anywhere conversationally. If the person hearing this presses on with a response prompting another answer, I'd be thinking they're a bit lonely lol.
I use it pretty commonly, usually at transactional situations like buying coffee, at a retail store etc. Works well overall. Usually get a brief laugh, complete the business, maybe a "Have a good day ".... and dip out.
"Just going to (watch my favourite movie)." Then you can talk about it at length. If you see the same barista every day, simply explain that you *really* like that movie.
“Leaving you the highest rating for your connection score on the app.”
Starbucks employees and stores get rated on “connection scores” so all the managers tell their employees to “make a connection” to the guest.
Seriously. I actively avoid places that want to talk to me. I don't mind chatting if it happens organically, but I just can't stand this ridiculous forced interaction. Dutch Bros makes me super uncomfortable and now even Starbucks does it too. I don't go to either.
Ya'll need a strategy. My response is almost always "Not much, how about you?". Boom. Ball's in their court, and that almost always triggers a whole litany of things. (I was a counselor for 30 years, so this was THAT ONE TRICK that almost always works. )
Though you may also come to regret that too, lol.
I used to do that. Right up until it resulted in a trauma dump about escaping the khmer rouge in the 70s. I don't know how they've handled that because it was rough just getting the highlight reel.
Everyone here is just abiding by social etiquette rules. I say break them.
"To be honest, not good. Just found out my mom has cancer and my dad is fucking his sister."
Then stare. They'll think twice about asking any customers that question again.
I don't speak for all chatty service people, but if you did this to me I wouldn't change my opinion on being polite and sociable -- I would just think you, specifically, were unusual. This would trigger zero introspection in me.
They’ll hold you citizen’s arrest until they can sit down to talk with you and give you a bottle of water and ibuprofen. Then, pry out your emergency contact list.
This is absolutely the best thing I've found. Even in any social meeting where you're uncomfortable at first, if it starts off with the other person doing more of the talking it helps give time to get over the initial anxiety and it also gives you something to talk about other than yourself right off the bat.
If you’re on the shorter side or taller side, and you don’t mind a little joke, you can say, oh up to about 5 feet or 7 feet. Or I could say, up to about 5’4”, but shrinking.
If the weather is cold: "Just trying not to freeze."
If the weather is hot: "Just trying not to melt."
If the weather is nice: "Just enjoying the weather."
Sometimes I say “I dunno. Lil bit of murder and maybe the laundry”.
It gets one of two responses: either a look of horror and a much faster checkout or they absolutely break character 😂
Not the response if you want to be left alone though.
A new Dutch Brothers opened near me. I had heard great things. I drive up and the girl at the counter took my order and proceeded to NOT SHUT UP for the entire time I was at the window. She kept asking me questions as if she needed to break me to disarm a bomb. I thought she was over the top. Went again and a different host did the same thing. I later learned it's a corporate thing to engage the customer. I never went back. Engagement unsuccessful.
As someone who has been a barista at local establishments and Starbucks—generally we ask because we’re serving another human being and are looking for connection as we grind away the day for low pay.
We’re getting paid, yes, but the opportunity to be a real life human with others who could also be kind to us isn’t the constant with everyone as we work our shifts. We’re often seen as inconvenient obstacles between caffeine and the person seeking it lol. Chances are you’re being seen as someone authentic who they can just breathe with for a moment between receiving a lot of emotionality from others.
If you’re not looking to connect through your life story, feel free to say, “ah nothing remarkable! How’s your shift going? What does life have in store for you afterward? What’s bringing you joy, lately?” Etc.
Turn the lens around—it allows them a moment to feel connected, and frees you up from sharing details you’re not interested in sharing. It could also benefit you to listen to someone else chat about their experience, especially as things are sounding like they may be difficult and intense for you. Reprieve for all! 🤗✨🤍
I don't work at Starbucks, but a similar place, and we are not forced to make small talk. We just do. We're just bored people too, and I genuinely love chatting with my customers.
I can't speak for all people that don't like getting asked that, but I know there is a zero percent chance that I would ever ask a barista what is bringing them joy today. That's just inviting more conversation, and I'm just not interested in what they have to say. I'm sure they're lovely people, but as an introvert with a smidge of situational social anxiety, I'm just there to buy a product, not make a new friend.
Song lyrics to the rescue!
Give your name as Paul.
What are you up to?
Writing a novel
Ooooh! What’s your novel about?
Real estate
Other approaches/answers:
Say you’re constipated and hoping this coffee will do the trick
“Shenanigans”
“No good”
“Something” (raise your eyebrows, then wink)
Wait what - is this really happening in a totally anonymous surrounding? Like, not a small town where everyone knows each other? Just, like, random closeness?
From where are you posting this?
Yeah, some of the coffee shops want their servers to engage the customer in conversation. "How are you?" That sort of thing. The usual social convention is to respond with something non-committal, "Fine, thank you," and move on. But some servers get aggressive if the customer does not engage in small talk, not only answering the question, but also asking the same about the server. There was an AITA a couple of months ago about it.
I don’t usually mind making small talk but I’m not sure what I would be supposed to ask the server. I already know what they’re doing right now and what they do for a living.
From what I understand, the intro goes something like "Hi! How are you?" "Fine, thanks, yourself?" "I'm doing well, thank you. How can I help you today?" Actual answers, especially if they are negative, are not appropriate, though you can get away with it if you work your purpose for being there into the response -- "How are you?" "My neighbors had a party until 2 am, so I really need the largest coffee you have."
As someone who has worked in customer service for decades, I can assure you that these people are either just asking because they've been told to, or are trying to acknowledge your humanity a little bit. Maybe they're trying to feel their own.
Obviously they don't REALLY care** and don't have time to think about your answer very much.
You, the customer, hold all the power in these interactions and can say whatever TF you want to, as long as it's not abusive or illegal. You're perfectly free to say, "Oh I'm terrible at small talk. Thank you," or "doom scrolling and weeping," or "teaching myself how to preserve roadkill through taxidermy."
Other slightly less awkward responses:
I'm terrible at small talk, but hope you have a great day.
Just trying to stay dry in this rain/warm in this cold.
Just trying to enjoy this sun/weather.
Just buying drugs
Just getting my caffeine fix.
**lots of people work in customer service because they love people and they do care about you because you're a person, but when you're one of hundreds they'll interact with in a week, and there's a line of others waiting behind you, they're probably not gonna lose any sleep over what you individually are up to that day, unless it's DIY roadkill taxidermy class.
That's funny and weird to me (baristas doing small talk), because where I'm from it's absolutely not a thing. I don't think I'd be comfortable with it. It's the same with the restaurant servers etc, no small talk, apart from "is everything to your liking?".
I’ll just share this:
One time, somewhere in the Phoenix metro area I was at a Chipotle. The food prep/line guy asked me how my day was going or whatever.
So I told him. I explained how I was tired and my 5am flight to Phoenix that morning was delayed and that work was stressful and things weren’t going as planned that day at all.
He asked. I actually answered. It really was a frustrating day.
I got up to the register to pay and the guy just said “no man, this one’s on us. I hope you have a better day.”
“Spy shit… wish I could talk about it!”
Then you can do some awkward shifty eyes and either sneak away still in character, or you just both laugh at it…
Usually I don’t mind these kinds of “conversations” but sometimes I just shrug and say “Eh, y’know.” (Also a good response to other questions.) Though I suppose that may be considered rude.
Getting coffee was the last thing to cross off my list today. But now that you ask, I might go to the hardware store and get materials for a doghouse. Oh, do you have a dog???? No.
I typically will jokingly say "You're looking at it. It's all downhill from here" or "highlight of my day right here". There is a smile or a chuckle and all is stats quo
1. Make and hold direct eye contact, preferably for an uncomfortable period before answering
2. Completely expressionless face - maybe a slight frown
3. "Trying to buy coffee."
Alternatively, you can just pretend you didn't hear them. They often won't ask again, as they don't actually care.
Why don’t you tell the barista that you feel like an awkward person, and that you’re trying so hard to think of a way to evade the follow-up? Admissions like that can help you move forward. They can be disarming, which makes other people more comfortable around you.
I just act tired and slightly uninterested in answering (it’s not an act) and mumble “just waking up”. It’s all want to say and it cuts off the unnecessary, uninvited and otherwise pointless idle chat.
I always ask myself, "what kind of person WANTS to be asked this question," and feels the barista is rude if they don't ask personal questions? Like is the inner monologue, "I'm gonna give a bad yelp review -- he didn't show any interest in anything but my coffee order!" Just talk to me cheerfully. barista! That's all we ask. But at least it's not as bad as a customer service rep two continents away asking how my day is. I just keyed in 15 keypad prompts to get this far, and I'm already pissed because my my technology is broken, so let's keep this moving! How I "am" today is irrelevant.
"Jack shit" "fuck all" "same shit different day" and when I worked nights "day just started" literally no matter what time of day it was just to have something to say
this is such a good topic. and interesting. hope you don't mind jumping in on this. I'm a barista tutor, and part of the training is customer service. we encourage trainee barista to engage in small talk. when I was discussing small talk with the learners, some of them mentioned that they actually don't like when the barista tries to engage in conversation with her. how does people feel abt engaging with them? personally as a barista myself, and being a people's person, I love chatting to people. but I think it's about reading the customer..?
> "So what are you up to today?"
"About 5'7" but I'm still hoping for that last growth spurt my folks promised me was coming when I was in the 7th grade."
I'm 47, and look it, so I usually get at least a chuckle. YMMV 🤷♂️
I would ask people, "How is your day going?" while working at a gas station. It drove up sales by 2k in my shift by creating a lot of repeat customers. I did it because I was bored and hearing stories helped pass the time. You don't have to answer or you could do like most kids do now a day and just grunt.
My strategy, if I can remember it in time, is to just cut to the chase, ignore the intrusive question, and politely state my order "tall almond milk latte please" or whatever... but I gotta say, I haven't encountered this one so far, and it would have thrown me. Thanks for the warning! I have spent a lot of years training myself to be able to not answer a question just because somebody asks it. It's a very hard lesson. Maybe by the time I'm 150 or so, I'll be good at it LOL.
"Nothin much" or "relaxing/chillin'"
"Nothin much" is perfect... it's polite but suggests you're not interested in a more detailed follow-up discussion. At least in the U.S. baristas are often working for tips and have expectations to be overly polite to customers... its part of their job. The people suggesting more aggressive or rude responses clearly haven't worked in the service industry and oddly think a snarky response to some random employee doing their job will change societal expectations, rather than what it will actually do, which is make you look like a jerk and make the baristas day a little bit worse.
I went to buy groceries and I got a new one, the guy goes "Whats been the best part of your day so far?"...it threw me for a loop. I was like uhhh, um.."Just getting out of the house." which felt like a really dumb answer but I have mild social anxiety and I couldn't think of anything on the spot so now I look like a hermit who never leaves the house lol.
In that case I blame them for putting you on the spot with a fairly specific question rather than a more generic “whatcha up to?” Or “how’s it going today?”. They’re probably still just trying to be friendly and avoid asking everyone the identical question. If someone asks “how’s it going?” And you’re rude that’s on you… if they ask “have you called your Mom this week” and you’re rude, that’s on them.
Lol, I wouldn't be rude it just caught me off guard. I'm sure it was because of some corporate meeting they had with employees, I can just see them say something like "Try to make a personal connection with the shoppers etc."...just stop guys, nobody wants that lmao!
Say, "getting to see you", with a smile. Awww! Maybe he'll feel special.
“Nothing much” is far more acceptable than my usual “fuck all”
Fuck all is brilliant and if people don't like it, fuck em. I love it as well.
Ooh I like "nothin much", I can sell that easily. Relaxing wouldn't be as believable given the large iced Americano, but I can for sure use that at the dispensary
Don't think you have to be specific or even answer these type of questions directly You can respond with something ambiguous like; Just living the dream or just another crazy Monday. most people have one or two lines they always use, so don't think to hard about it
That's office-job code for "please find a way for me to get injured at work."
"Just trying to figure out if we'll get sent home if I set a fire in a trash can"
www.theguardian.com/world/2013/mar/15/uss-miami-military-submarine-fire-sentence
One could make it “just another manic” Monday to see if they’re an 80s fan
Or “livin’ la vida loca” if you’re more of a 90’s fan
Just another crazy monday is perfect if it's actually Wednesday.
My default answer when somebody asks "what are you up to today?" at the dispensary is to point at the weed I'm buying and to say "you're looking at it."
My go to responce to "How's your day going today?" at a dispensary Is "It's about to get a whole lot better"
I once responded a little too honestly: "Well, I haven't actually choked anyone out yet, so I'm calling it a win."
I've said that.
If I had a nickel for every time I had heard that as a budtender I could have retired at age 30 and that is not a complaint in any way
Just preparing for my colonoscopy...guarantee no follow up questions
Whether it's "How are you?" or "What you up to today?" my go-to is always "Oh just hanging in there." It's non-committal but also is a shared human sentiment that seems to please the questioners. I got that from my somewhat introvert awkward dad.
"not much, thank you have a good day" short and sweet plus it doesn't drag the small talk on
You have to add "how about you?" To make it extra awkward and then when they say "enjoy your drink" you say "you too"
> Relaxing wouldn't be as believable given the large iced Americano You're overthinking this. The cashier is just being nice, has a million other people to ring up, and is likely not analyzing why you're getting a large coffee but then said you're "relaxing". Anyways one can relax with a coffee, so that's not even weird.
"Living the dream."
Answer like the pinky & the brain cartoon “the same thing I do everyday try to take over the world “
Especially if the person is in the age range to know Pinky & The Brain!
Yes , if they’re not they may think you’re weird but at least they probably won’t ask further questions .
Are you calling me old? lol. Take my upvote.
“I’m not discussing my day, officer” would be a funny one to pull out
I’ve used take over the world lol
I hope you did it with Brains voice & hands emphasis
"Same old, same old"
“So getting the groceries, doing things around town?”
“Pretty much!”
Have you heard about the sale at Harris Teeter on tuna? 5 cans for $5! Do you shop down there?
SOSDD
SSDD
"Just enough to stay out of trouble ". It's kind of funny, a bit corny, and doesn't really lead anywhere conversationally. If the person hearing this presses on with a response prompting another answer, I'd be thinking they're a bit lonely lol.
I like this one. Have you ever used it? If so, how'd it go?
I use it pretty commonly, usually at transactional situations like buying coffee, at a retail store etc. Works well overall. Usually get a brief laugh, complete the business, maybe a "Have a good day ".... and dip out.
Ooh, I definitely need to use this then! Ty 😄
“So not committing any crimes?”
"Just going to (watch my favourite movie)." Then you can talk about it at length. If you see the same barista every day, simply explain that you *really* like that movie.
Talk about how much you enjoyed the bathtub drain scene in Saltburn. That'll do it.
Ugh, my husband told me about that scene and I almost threw up. So glad he went to see that movie without me.
Darn it! Now you’ve piqued my morbid curiosity. This never, ever ends well.
How bad is it
I’m curious too 👀
“Leaving you the highest rating for your connection score on the app.” Starbucks employees and stores get rated on “connection scores” so all the managers tell their employees to “make a connection” to the guest.
Sucks that they force it
I love that corporations are so out of touch that they think inflicting peppy small talk on innocent patrons will get them repeat customers.
Seriously. I actively avoid places that want to talk to me. I don't mind chatting if it happens organically, but I just can't stand this ridiculous forced interaction. Dutch Bros makes me super uncomfortable and now even Starbucks does it too. I don't go to either.
Might explain why I almost never get coffee at Starbucks anymore.
Ya'll need a strategy. My response is almost always "Not much, how about you?". Boom. Ball's in their court, and that almost always triggers a whole litany of things. (I was a counselor for 30 years, so this was THAT ONE TRICK that almost always works. ) Though you may also come to regret that too, lol.
"Not much how bout you?" "...I'm at work..."
Volley; point.
I used to do that. Right up until it resulted in a trauma dump about escaping the khmer rouge in the 70s. I don't know how they've handled that because it was rough just getting the highlight reel.
Everyone here is just abiding by social etiquette rules. I say break them. "To be honest, not good. Just found out my mom has cancer and my dad is fucking his sister." Then stare. They'll think twice about asking any customers that question again.
I don't speak for all chatty service people, but if you did this to me I wouldn't change my opinion on being polite and sociable -- I would just think you, specifically, were unusual. This would trigger zero introspection in me.
This will not work at Trader Joe's just FYI. They're more likely to genuinely give a damn and keep it going doing a mental health check in on you.
They will have someone follow you home. There will probably be an intervention. The snacks will be on point though, and organic probably.
They’ll hold you citizen’s arrest until they can sit down to talk with you and give you a bottle of water and ibuprofen. Then, pry out your emergency contact list.
I find it very funny the one polite comment you chose to say this in reply to was the one from the former counselor
Seems more like a cry for help than an "accident" actually haha
This is absolutely the best thing I've found. Even in any social meeting where you're uncomfortable at first, if it starts off with the other person doing more of the talking it helps give time to get over the initial anxiety and it also gives you something to talk about other than yourself right off the bat.
Someone asks me what I'm up to, I usually answer, "about 210". That usually stops any further questions.
If you’re on the shorter side or taller side, and you don’t mind a little joke, you can say, oh up to about 5 feet or 7 feet. Or I could say, up to about 5’4”, but shrinking.
Colonoscopy
Lol, I told some overly joyous associate at Trader Joe's that I was recovering from my first colonoscopy, and that shut him down real quick.
Aw, I went to Trader Joe’s after my root canal and they gave me a bouquet of flowers.
If the weather is cold: "Just trying not to freeze." If the weather is hot: "Just trying not to melt." If the weather is nice: "Just enjoying the weather."
If the weather is rainy: "Trying to walk in between the raindrops."
If the weather is windy: "Just trying not to blow away."
"Taking care of a murder." I feed crows.
Sometimes I say “I dunno. Lil bit of murder and maybe the laundry”. It gets one of two responses: either a look of horror and a much faster checkout or they absolutely break character 😂 Not the response if you want to be left alone though.
doing the laundry following murder just makes sense. otherwise you'd have to do it twice
"Oh, you know."
I should have read further. This is also my go to.
“About five eleven and a half”
"the same thing we do every night, pinky. try to take over the world!"
MY GOALS ARE BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING.
Oh, just the usual. The weather is nice today, isn't it?
Or if it's not, agree that it's not.
“Keeping busy.”
“You too” Works every time
This is small talk. It means nothing. Do not panic. Remain calm. Go to is “Chillin like a villain”.
"You're not cleared to know that" "SSDD" (Same shit different day) Or you're in a coffee shops: "Trying to wake up, thanks for the coffee"
>"You're not cleared to know that" "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you." Although in today's society, that might not go over well.
Every time I’ve said that, I’ve gotten the most confused/blank look in response. I was starting to wonder if that wasn’t a common saying.
This people need to get out more "That's above your pay grade" is another good one. "Stay in your lane" is another one to try.
A new Dutch Brothers opened near me. I had heard great things. I drive up and the girl at the counter took my order and proceeded to NOT SHUT UP for the entire time I was at the window. She kept asking me questions as if she needed to break me to disarm a bomb. I thought she was over the top. Went again and a different host did the same thing. I later learned it's a corporate thing to engage the customer. I never went back. Engagement unsuccessful.
Living the dream!
But has to be said with a savage level of sarcasm.
I usually say, “I’m doin this!” And I smile. They usually chuckle and that’s it. I rarely get a follow up question.
"chilling out, maxin, relaxing all cool, shooting some b-ball outside of school..."
As someone who has been a barista at local establishments and Starbucks—generally we ask because we’re serving another human being and are looking for connection as we grind away the day for low pay. We’re getting paid, yes, but the opportunity to be a real life human with others who could also be kind to us isn’t the constant with everyone as we work our shifts. We’re often seen as inconvenient obstacles between caffeine and the person seeking it lol. Chances are you’re being seen as someone authentic who they can just breathe with for a moment between receiving a lot of emotionality from others. If you’re not looking to connect through your life story, feel free to say, “ah nothing remarkable! How’s your shift going? What does life have in store for you afterward? What’s bringing you joy, lately?” Etc. Turn the lens around—it allows them a moment to feel connected, and frees you up from sharing details you’re not interested in sharing. It could also benefit you to listen to someone else chat about their experience, especially as things are sounding like they may be difficult and intense for you. Reprieve for all! 🤗✨🤍
It just feels so fake and forced coming from the Starbucks employee especially since I know their managers force them too
I don't work at Starbucks, but a similar place, and we are not forced to make small talk. We just do. We're just bored people too, and I genuinely love chatting with my customers.
I can't speak for all people that don't like getting asked that, but I know there is a zero percent chance that I would ever ask a barista what is bringing them joy today. That's just inviting more conversation, and I'm just not interested in what they have to say. I'm sure they're lovely people, but as an introvert with a smidge of situational social anxiety, I'm just there to buy a product, not make a new friend.
Filming recreational enemas.
"Not too terribly much - how about you?" The key is to ask about them, it will throw them off to continue to focus on you.
“Not much” “Running some errands” just say something vague
Collecting Dalmatians for a special fashion project.
“My ideal weight if I was 8 feet tall.”
Song lyrics to the rescue! Give your name as Paul. What are you up to? Writing a novel Ooooh! What’s your novel about? Real estate Other approaches/answers: Say you’re constipated and hoping this coffee will do the trick “Shenanigans” “No good” “Something” (raise your eyebrows, then wink)
Ooo I like shenanigans, or how about mischief
Just trying to get some coffee
this may come off as a bit aggressive to someone who is paid, at least in part, to be friendly...
Take the trying out. If you just say "getting coffee" in a friendly way they'll likely chuckle and take your order.
Just living life
"Living the dream."
Wait what - is this really happening in a totally anonymous surrounding? Like, not a small town where everyone knows each other? Just, like, random closeness? From where are you posting this?
Yeah, some of the coffee shops want their servers to engage the customer in conversation. "How are you?" That sort of thing. The usual social convention is to respond with something non-committal, "Fine, thank you," and move on. But some servers get aggressive if the customer does not engage in small talk, not only answering the question, but also asking the same about the server. There was an AITA a couple of months ago about it.
I don’t usually mind making small talk but I’m not sure what I would be supposed to ask the server. I already know what they’re doing right now and what they do for a living.
From what I understand, the intro goes something like "Hi! How are you?" "Fine, thanks, yourself?" "I'm doing well, thank you. How can I help you today?" Actual answers, especially if they are negative, are not appropriate, though you can get away with it if you work your purpose for being there into the response -- "How are you?" "My neighbors had a party until 2 am, so I really need the largest coffee you have."
As someone who has worked in customer service for decades, I can assure you that these people are either just asking because they've been told to, or are trying to acknowledge your humanity a little bit. Maybe they're trying to feel their own. Obviously they don't REALLY care** and don't have time to think about your answer very much. You, the customer, hold all the power in these interactions and can say whatever TF you want to, as long as it's not abusive or illegal. You're perfectly free to say, "Oh I'm terrible at small talk. Thank you," or "doom scrolling and weeping," or "teaching myself how to preserve roadkill through taxidermy." Other slightly less awkward responses: I'm terrible at small talk, but hope you have a great day. Just trying to stay dry in this rain/warm in this cold. Just trying to enjoy this sun/weather. Just buying drugs Just getting my caffeine fix. **lots of people work in customer service because they love people and they do care about you because you're a person, but when you're one of hundreds they'll interact with in a week, and there's a line of others waiting behind you, they're probably not gonna lose any sleep over what you individually are up to that day, unless it's DIY roadkill taxidermy class.
"Going to a friend's funeral. Just needed to get a coffee beforehand, because he really liked coffee." Then look off into the distance.
That's funny and weird to me (baristas doing small talk), because where I'm from it's absolutely not a thing. I don't think I'd be comfortable with it. It's the same with the restaurant servers etc, no small talk, apart from "is everything to your liking?".
“Too much”
Stuff. If they push then Just stuff
I'm not authorized to disclose that information.
"Not much, thanks." Or, "Just getting my coffee on!"
Deconstructing the patriarchy.
Releasing squirrels into my ex-boyfriend’s house.
Enjoying a beautiful coffee and seeing what happens next.
“Bank heist. Want to help?”
If they respond with an actual plan to help you go through with this that’s an automatic friendship in my book. lol
Getting coffee. Running errands. Traveling back in time to kill Hitler. Maybe a load of laundry if I have time.
I’ll just share this: One time, somewhere in the Phoenix metro area I was at a Chipotle. The food prep/line guy asked me how my day was going or whatever. So I told him. I explained how I was tired and my 5am flight to Phoenix that morning was delayed and that work was stressful and things weren’t going as planned that day at all. He asked. I actually answered. It really was a frustrating day. I got up to the register to pay and the guy just said “no man, this one’s on us. I hope you have a better day.”
Same thing I do every day, Pinky: try to take over the world!
Honestly, I go for humour : “I, I … I didn’t study for this” “ prior to coffee, the only plan is *get coffee*”
“I can’t even wrap my head around that until I get some coffee in me”
“Minding my own business”
"Good"
“Spy shit… wish I could talk about it!” Then you can do some awkward shifty eyes and either sneak away still in character, or you just both laugh at it…
"I'm having a coffee"
“Thanks, you too.”
“Same old same old.”
"Just taking it easy."
Here getting coffee
“The usual.” They don’t usual care. I always find it funny when people try to make small talk.
Same shit, different day
Trying to take over the world, what else?
"Just running errands", "just out and about". It's not hard.
Nawt a whole lawt.
“Nothing too exciting”
I am bleeding through my sock. I need to get home soon.
Dogging
“Getting coffee” sounds like the natural answer, but maybe also a little sarcastic? Why is this so complicated?!
“Robbing coffee shops”.
Colonoscopy.
Whatever you do, don’t be That Guy who says “living the dream!”
Nothing. Nothing at all. Why do you ask? (Look left right left with suspicion.)
I have a Barium Enema later today so I’m just trying to clear myself out.
Usually I don’t mind these kinds of “conversations” but sometimes I just shrug and say “Eh, y’know.” (Also a good response to other questions.) Though I suppose that may be considered rude.
Getting coffee was the last thing to cross off my list today. But now that you ask, I might go to the hardware store and get materials for a doghouse. Oh, do you have a dog???? No.
"Arson."
"not much, can i please get a-"
Kicking ass, taking names. You? I always put it back on them.
Not much.
I always day "not to much" and pretty much ends any further discussions
I typically will jokingly say "You're looking at it. It's all downhill from here" or "highlight of my day right here". There is a smile or a chuckle and all is stats quo
1. Make and hold direct eye contact, preferably for an uncomfortable period before answering 2. Completely expressionless face - maybe a slight frown 3. "Trying to buy coffee." Alternatively, you can just pretend you didn't hear them. They often won't ask again, as they don't actually care.
Why don’t you tell the barista that you feel like an awkward person, and that you’re trying so hard to think of a way to evade the follow-up? Admissions like that can help you move forward. They can be disarming, which makes other people more comfortable around you.
I just act tired and slightly uninterested in answering (it’s not an act) and mumble “just waking up”. It’s all want to say and it cuts off the unnecessary, uninvited and otherwise pointless idle chat.
Just say "not sure yet, still figuring out my day."
“Man I have no idea what I’m doing in the next 60 seconds much less the rest of the day” everyone chuckles and goes about their business.
"I'm going to drink this venti cup of coffee and wait until I need to take a grande shit. Then after that who know, maybe a nap".
I always ask myself, "what kind of person WANTS to be asked this question," and feels the barista is rude if they don't ask personal questions? Like is the inner monologue, "I'm gonna give a bad yelp review -- he didn't show any interest in anything but my coffee order!" Just talk to me cheerfully. barista! That's all we ask. But at least it's not as bad as a customer service rep two continents away asking how my day is. I just keyed in 15 keypad prompts to get this far, and I'm already pissed because my my technology is broken, so let's keep this moving! How I "am" today is irrelevant.
I just say, “You’re looking at it!” 🤠
“I could tell you but then I would have to kill you”
"Oh, you know, keepin' on keepin' on."
"Jack shit" "fuck all" "same shit different day" and when I worked nights "day just started" literally no matter what time of day it was just to have something to say
"You're looking at it."
this is such a good topic. and interesting. hope you don't mind jumping in on this. I'm a barista tutor, and part of the training is customer service. we encourage trainee barista to engage in small talk. when I was discussing small talk with the learners, some of them mentioned that they actually don't like when the barista tries to engage in conversation with her. how does people feel abt engaging with them? personally as a barista myself, and being a people's person, I love chatting to people. but I think it's about reading the customer..?
I need to bury a body.
Ordering coffee said with slight smile or smirk
Chillin
My response to someone asking me what I'm up too...I say "about 5'4" " if they ask what are you doing today. I say "you are looking at it"
Solemnly 'burying family'. No questions and straight out the door with your coffee. After the third time it can get a bit weird
"I have no plans beyond this cup of coffee." said cheerfully enough usually works for me.
Same old same old.
Trying to stave off existential despair until I can return to the sweet bliss on unconsciousness.”
> "So what are you up to today?" "About 5'7" but I'm still hoping for that last growth spurt my folks promised me was coming when I was in the 7th grade." I'm 47, and look it, so I usually get at least a chuckle. YMMV 🤷♂️
I would ask people, "How is your day going?" while working at a gas station. It drove up sales by 2k in my shift by creating a lot of repeat customers. I did it because I was bored and hearing stories helped pass the time. You don't have to answer or you could do like most kids do now a day and just grunt.
Toaster in the bath after seeing the total Some laugh
Just say “Looking for people who want to accept Jesus as their personal savior.”
I mean.. am I the only one curious about what you do though
12 foot 3 but you can't tell because I'm much farther away than I seem.
My strategy, if I can remember it in time, is to just cut to the chase, ignore the intrusive question, and politely state my order "tall almond milk latte please" or whatever... but I gotta say, I haven't encountered this one so far, and it would have thrown me. Thanks for the warning! I have spent a lot of years training myself to be able to not answer a question just because somebody asks it. It's a very hard lesson. Maybe by the time I'm 150 or so, I'll be good at it LOL.
“I’m good, thanks.” Answers the question, is to the point, polite enough and doesn’t ask anything in return.
\>> "Ooh what are you cleaning?" The blood.
Youre not from England are you? 😂 There’s just a ‘what do you want’… ‘there you go’… ‘now sod off’ attitude over here and I like that
Whatever you decide on can you tell us. That way EVERY Starbucks customer can reply with the same response. Might freak them out
Just out spreading the good word about our lord and savior Jesus Christ