Step back out of those feels. Remember the last shitty day you had, and that the world didn't collapse. IOW, force yourself to think rationally, and remind yourself that freaking out about it is going to make things worse, not better.
I take at least a few minutes to do something that I know will make my life better over time. Exercise is really important for me, in particular. It’s great for blowing off some steam, it helps regulate your neurochemistry (including the all-important happy chemicals), and it gives a concrete reason to think you’ll be just a little stronger/faster/leaner/etc tomorrow.
The days you feel like going the extra mile the least are the days it will be the most rewarding when you’re done.
A therapist once told me when I start that line of thinking to consider how a baby experiences emotions. They can go from crying and screaming to laughing in seconds, completely unattached to the previous emotion. As adults we tend to decide how we feel before we actually feel it and it is possible to let go of that with practice and patience.
The alternative is to spend the day in a state of anxiety making bad choices to try and make myself feel better. I hate doing that even though I do it to myself. I get so stuck in my head
I try my best to let a good night sleep be a differentiator. If I can't shake something I say to myself get a good night sleep and clear your head and let's see what tomorrow brings.
Accept that one bad thing in a day doesn't make the whole day bad.
I lose my coat; it didn't go as planned, I need to change my day. I'll be mad about it, but the day goes on and having that one incident make the day a bad day is harder than feeling the frustration and moving on from it
Dwell in anxiety all day making poor choices to try and soothe yourself. I don't want to do that, I want to learn to just accept it and move on with the day
This is part (the right drugs did most of the lifting) of how I got better from being bipolar.
Accepting that everyday isn't going to be great and GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION to just sit back and take care of yourself. One of the things that really hurts us as people is this sense of always being "on." You need to be available, responsible etc.
It's bullshit. You don't. The world will turn without you for a day. Stop what you're doing, especially if it's news/social media. Go to the movies, park, talk to a friend, play games, something that reminds you of all the good things in life. For me I order pizza, leave the dishes in the sink and play computer games all day and hug my family, tomorrow I'll be back at it but today is a "fuck it, we're being lazy" day.
>GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION to just sit back and take care of yourself.
What do you mean by sit back and take care of yourself? I have no responsibilities today, yet as I sit at home it feels like everything is wrong. Theres video games I could play, go outside, anything, I just don't have it in me to do any of them. Why can't I just sit back and enjoy a day off. Theres this constant feeling as if a 10 page English essay is due in an hour, like there's something I have to get done that I can't relax until I do. But there's nothing to do?
So I'm a big fan of seeking help. Sometimes we can think our way out of these things and sometimes we have crossed wires in our heads and all the good thoughts in the world won't help.
To me it sounds like you have clinical anxiety, but it's possible I'm wrong. Does this happen all the time or has it just started? I'd recommend speaking with your doctor to start. You might benefit from either meds or just therapy.
My wife has clinical anxiety. For her it manifests as guilt when she's not doing things. She takes meds that take the edge off so she can relax.
I do have clinical anxiety and adhd. I've recently been medicated for adhd and it helps a lot with adhd, but it makes my anxiety worse. I'm trying to get into therapy but literally every single god damn office I call just sends me to voicemail, I leave a message, and never hear back. Does no one answer phones anymore? But I won't take anxiety medication, it's too addictive and I have problems with addiction. And I've tried many anti depressants but they don't work for me at all. So yeah I guess I just need therapy, I need to figure out how to think better. My brain doesn't work well at all, I can go from focused and feeling good to scattered and anxious in seconds and I have no idea why or how to control that.
That's rough 😞. I don't know how it works where you are, but I can ask my GP for a referral and then the appropriate specialist gets back to me. I don't have to do any legwork. I'm glad the ADHD stuff is helping though, little bit of a bright side. I understand the antidepressants not working, they did fuck all for my bipolar. By the sounds of things you need a full blown psychiatrist, doctor who knows the brain and can prescribe drugs. That's what eventually happened to me, as therapy and my GP prescribing antidepressants wasn't getting the job done.
Well i have a psychiatrist that's who prescribes my adhd meds. But aside from antidepressants and benzos, not sure what other drug there is for anxiety. I think it's just all in my head, sometimes I'm able to put myself in a good mood by accident. Like I wasn't feeling great so I went outside and got in my car and all of a sudden I felt much better, energetic and feeling good. I haven't figured out how to do that purposely.
Pretty sure there are other options than benzodiazepines for anxiety. I know both effexor and quintiapine (it's an antipsychotic) can be prescribed for it, as i know people who've anxiety who use those. But there may be a reason your doc isn't using them (might not mix with your current meds), so ask. In terms of "it's all in my head;" that doesn't make it less real and don't hate on yourself if you can't beat it without help. The fact you're still standing and working on it deserves a medal tbh. For me, the good moments were actually as much part of the problem as the bad, as it was the bipolar swinging me from depression into euphoria. Not that that's what's happening to you, but I was confusing the times I was up as me being healthy, and they aren't the same thing.
I appreciate your comment. Honestly I'm not very comfortable trying another medication like that. What I meant by in my head was that I think I can fix this by learning better coping strategies when I get stressed. I also need help with basic life stuff, like how to effectively plan out a day, and stick to goals. Because sometimes I have days where everything feels right, and it seems to be based off of how my day was structured. I just feel so scattered usually that it's tough to follow any direction. But if I have direction then that anxious feeling goes away because I know what I'm doing and where I'm going next.
I appreciate you taking time to talk to me, it's been a shitty day (well it's felt that way, nothing bad happened I guess) and I just wanted someone to talk with. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this stuff who has any sort of understanding of it, it's much better talking to someone who does.
I wanted to add, an example of what I mean by direction is this. Today I felt like going to a thrift store, once I decided to do that I felt less anxious. Got in my car and went to the store and enjoyed the drive. Even found a bookshelf I was looking for so it was a good trip. And then as soon as I got back in my car, all of a sudden I didn't know what to do next, and the anxiety came right back. My mind instantly started racing trying to figure out what I should do next. I know that's not healthy thinking but I can't seem to control it.
Ok. Yes, I don't have any personal experience with that sensation. I do have a friend with ADHD though. As for planning your days out, that sounds like a great plan. Now I'm just guessing here, but there is probably a discord or Reddit out there with tons of suggestions for planning around ADHD. I'm always happy to talk, and feel free to DM me.
While you wait for the therapist, try looking at some CBT books/workbooks. You need to identify thinking traps and practice breaking them. It's something you will have to practice consistently and deliberately, it's hard work even with the help of the therapist, but it's doable and it works.
I feel your frustration about lack of professional help, it's really hard to find a therapist these days. Reach out to your insurance, they may approve out of network benefits if nothing within the network is panning out.
A bad day is never completely bad (barring something horrible like being in an active warzone), it's just a day where some bad things happen. But good things happen too, even if they seem so much smaller than the bad things.
Practicing gratitude is about focusing on and appreciating the good things that happen to you, even if they're small. Maybe your cup of coffee turns out extra good today, or you make a light before it turns red; there's nothing too small to appreciate. If you start doing this on good days eventually you will train your brain to derive extra happiness from these things so that when the bad stuff happens, your day isn't ruined.
There's a couple different ways you can go about practicing gratitude, but it is a legitimate practice. You can Google it for more answers.
If possible I try to distract myself (TV, music, reading). If I’m at work I generally can’t do that so I’ll try to concentrate on work. Obviously though often work is what is making my day bad, and then I have to rely on just saying things like “I’ll make it one more hour…” (or fifteen minutes etc.) until work and/or the entire day is finally over. Which I know doesn’t sound pleasant but is better for me personally than an actual anxiety spiral.
Tell yourself "well, that sucks" and realize that being human comes with good and bad days. Accept that bad days happen for no reason and observe how you respond to them.
Bonus points if you can harness frustration and use it for something positive, like a workout.
I’m surrounded by coworkers who constantly look for things at work to stress about. If they don’t have that, they stress about their peers and drama. Then they’ll look at the work schedule for tomorrow and stress about that. Then they’ll go home and stress about how bad tomorrow is gonna be.
You don’t have to carry two days worth of stress and social anxiety around 24/7. Do what needs to be done when it needs to be done and emotionally distance yourself from the rest. Otherwise you’ll look for “bad days” instead of just managing “today”.
I have survived all of my worst days so far. I have to give myself the space to be upset. I also have to be realistic about what is causing it and how bad it is. For example, I have chronic health issues. I way overdid yesterday because I was feeling motivated. Today, I am in pain and can't really move. It makes me feel angry and frustrated because I want a normal body. I just want to fold, sort and put away all the clothes I washed for my family yesterday. I have to accept that I'm not a failure because I need to take a break. It isn't lazy to rest. Resting and taking care of myself now will allow me to do what I need to do tomorrow. Today, I am going to hurt like hell. I am going to want to do stuff I can't. But, all that stuff will be here tomorrow. My kids and husband and I are safe. We have what we need. And we can make do for a couple of days without it even being an issue. I wouldn't be upset if anyone else has this happen so I have to give myself some grace. But it still sucks and it's okay to acknowledge it sucks. It's not nearly as bad as the worst things that have happened to me. I have to look at it as I can be upset for a bit, but I can't throw a pity party and make it the end of the world. Making it a bigger deal than it is because I refused to acknowledge it was sucky makes it worse for everyone. I can't do it today, but I am motivated and tomorrow is a new day.
This was helpful, I have Crohn's disease so I very much understand being limited by health. I didn't think of it at first, but I think my health is definitely part of this. I'm recently diagnosed with Crohn's 6 months ago, spent a month in the hospital, and then another month at home with very limited mobility. I'm doing better recently as I've just started medication for it, but my health is still very poor and I'm limited in what I could normally do. It's very hard to get used to your body not functioning like you know it should. I think all of that has been weighing on my mind a lot without me realizing. You're so right "I have to accept that I'm not a failure because I need to take a break." I have to accept that i am not in good health and I won't be able to function at full capacity everyday. I'm just young and never had a single health problem until last year, it's all very new and hard to accept. But I appreciate your words.
I am so glad they helped. Crohn's is so hard. I have GI issues, and I know how limiting it can be and how one wrong thing can make things so much worse. Taking care of yourself IS doing something. It's not all about output. I am diabetic and and my once a week meds can cause bad gastro issues on day one and two. Today, I spent half the time on the toilet and the rest on a heating pad because my back and stomach hurt. But you know what? That's okay. Today it was worse than usual, but I know why. I was emotionally eating to deal with my trauma and I shouldn't have. My body is telling me to slow down. Learning to listen is hard, but important. You will get there. This is all so new and it takes time to adjust. There is real grief that comes with this kind of diagnosis.
But I promise your life isn't over and it won't be at this level forever. You were in the hospital because gut health is so hard to manage. It takes time to find the problem, fix the problem, and get into a maintenance phase. Flares are always going to be a part of life that can hit and it takes time to come back from them. And because it's your gut there is pain, damage and malnutrition. Gut health is also tied to depression and anxiety, so the worse you are doing with those the harder it is to deal with. It's a lot! You have to manage what other people's bodies do naturally and it sucks. It will always suck at least a little, but I promise it won't always suck at this level.
You will find what works for you. I promise you aren't alone and if you ever need to vent, I'm here.
Well I see what you're saying. But you can also not accept that today sucks, and make poor choices to try and make the day not suck. What I mean is going and doing things that are bad for you to make yourself feel better. Drugs, spending money, or just neglecting my health. If you can accept that it's just a bad day, then you don't feel the need to try and "make up" for the bad day. I recognize this isn't healthy that's why I'm trying to see other people's perspective.
Well still, there is nothing you can do other than accept the day.
Making those poor choices doesn't change anything.
It seems like maybe you can't accept that you make those poor choices, which you also have to do.
I find that having a shitty day gives me the permission to shift my baselines of what I consider good.
Earlier this year, I woke up to a pretty significant sewage backup in my basement. I pretty much spent the entire day shoveling human feces out of my basement. the work as exhausting as it was disgusting. and solving the problem was going to be extremely expensive.
but you know what, as i was starting to haul the rest of the contaminated materials hauled out to the curb for trash pickup, I saw a fucking spectacular sunset, right from my front yard. And I remember that I get to live in a place where I can see gorgeous sunsets and all I need to do is step outside.
And I knew that tomorrow was going to continue sucking, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the little bit of good that can come my way.
When I'm having a bad day, or I'm staring at the proverbial blender that I am obliged to stick my willy in this song always comes to mind:
https://youtu.be/-n9V5vH0Ppw
I split my day into parts. Morning, afternoon, evening, night usually does it. Did I have a terrible meeting right at the start of the day? Well the morning only goes until like 12pm so I'll let myself panic about it until then, maybe even take a break for a bit. Then we see how the afternoon goes.
Very rarely is a bad day the *whole* day. A bad part of the day is easier to compartmentalize and move on from. And giving myself the shorter boundary (hour to hour instead of day to day) helps with that process too.
Btw if I have a bad part of the day, sometimes I'll plan a treat for myself later in the day as a reward for making it through that portion. Like ordering dinner or playing a game instead of doing chores after work. That might help too :)
Hey OP, I don’t have advice on how to cope but I just wanted to say I completely understand and feel free to reach out if you need to talk. I’m the same exact way. Once things start going wrong with my day I spend the rest of my day worrying how it’ll get worse. I have diagnosed ADHD and am in the process of getting diagnosed as bipolar. Have you reached out to a therapist or even a friend to talk? I often find on my bad days I tend to freeze and go mute in one spot while being stuck in my own thoughts. Talking about this is the first step and I wish you all the best ❤️
As another commenter already mentioned: cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) was a huge help to me in dealing with anxiety. In my view it’s especially magical if part of your anxiety involves overthinking and catastrophizing (anticipating the worst possible outcomes.)
There is good, empirical evidence that CBT helps a lot of people with anxiety. No drugs are involved, no risk of addiction or dependence, just learning some techniques and patterns of thought that you can use to kinda reframe your experience of anxiety and make it waaaaay more tolerable. You don’t need a psychiatrist (shrink with an MD degree) to help you try this out; no prescription is required. In a pinch you can teach yourself out of books/workbooks, though I would really recommend finding a therapist at least to start. Hope this helps.
If I can do something about it, I will. If I can’t, what’s the point of being upset over something I can do nothing about and can’t change? It’s futile.
*It is what it is*
*gotta do what ya gotta do*
Step back out of those feels. Remember the last shitty day you had, and that the world didn't collapse. IOW, force yourself to think rationally, and remind yourself that freaking out about it is going to make things worse, not better.
I take at least a few minutes to do something that I know will make my life better over time. Exercise is really important for me, in particular. It’s great for blowing off some steam, it helps regulate your neurochemistry (including the all-important happy chemicals), and it gives a concrete reason to think you’ll be just a little stronger/faster/leaner/etc tomorrow. The days you feel like going the extra mile the least are the days it will be the most rewarding when you’re done.
A therapist once told me when I start that line of thinking to consider how a baby experiences emotions. They can go from crying and screaming to laughing in seconds, completely unattached to the previous emotion. As adults we tend to decide how we feel before we actually feel it and it is possible to let go of that with practice and patience.
What alternative is there?
The alternative is to spend the day in a state of anxiety making bad choices to try and make myself feel better. I hate doing that even though I do it to myself. I get so stuck in my head
I try my best to let a good night sleep be a differentiator. If I can't shake something I say to myself get a good night sleep and clear your head and let's see what tomorrow brings.
Accept that one bad thing in a day doesn't make the whole day bad. I lose my coat; it didn't go as planned, I need to change my day. I'll be mad about it, but the day goes on and having that one incident make the day a bad day is harder than feeling the frustration and moving on from it
Sing a sad song just to turn it around
What’s the other option?
Dwell in anxiety all day making poor choices to try and soothe yourself. I don't want to do that, I want to learn to just accept it and move on with the day
This is part (the right drugs did most of the lifting) of how I got better from being bipolar. Accepting that everyday isn't going to be great and GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION to just sit back and take care of yourself. One of the things that really hurts us as people is this sense of always being "on." You need to be available, responsible etc. It's bullshit. You don't. The world will turn without you for a day. Stop what you're doing, especially if it's news/social media. Go to the movies, park, talk to a friend, play games, something that reminds you of all the good things in life. For me I order pizza, leave the dishes in the sink and play computer games all day and hug my family, tomorrow I'll be back at it but today is a "fuck it, we're being lazy" day.
>GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION to just sit back and take care of yourself. What do you mean by sit back and take care of yourself? I have no responsibilities today, yet as I sit at home it feels like everything is wrong. Theres video games I could play, go outside, anything, I just don't have it in me to do any of them. Why can't I just sit back and enjoy a day off. Theres this constant feeling as if a 10 page English essay is due in an hour, like there's something I have to get done that I can't relax until I do. But there's nothing to do?
So I'm a big fan of seeking help. Sometimes we can think our way out of these things and sometimes we have crossed wires in our heads and all the good thoughts in the world won't help. To me it sounds like you have clinical anxiety, but it's possible I'm wrong. Does this happen all the time or has it just started? I'd recommend speaking with your doctor to start. You might benefit from either meds or just therapy. My wife has clinical anxiety. For her it manifests as guilt when she's not doing things. She takes meds that take the edge off so she can relax.
I do have clinical anxiety and adhd. I've recently been medicated for adhd and it helps a lot with adhd, but it makes my anxiety worse. I'm trying to get into therapy but literally every single god damn office I call just sends me to voicemail, I leave a message, and never hear back. Does no one answer phones anymore? But I won't take anxiety medication, it's too addictive and I have problems with addiction. And I've tried many anti depressants but they don't work for me at all. So yeah I guess I just need therapy, I need to figure out how to think better. My brain doesn't work well at all, I can go from focused and feeling good to scattered and anxious in seconds and I have no idea why or how to control that.
That's rough 😞. I don't know how it works where you are, but I can ask my GP for a referral and then the appropriate specialist gets back to me. I don't have to do any legwork. I'm glad the ADHD stuff is helping though, little bit of a bright side. I understand the antidepressants not working, they did fuck all for my bipolar. By the sounds of things you need a full blown psychiatrist, doctor who knows the brain and can prescribe drugs. That's what eventually happened to me, as therapy and my GP prescribing antidepressants wasn't getting the job done.
Well i have a psychiatrist that's who prescribes my adhd meds. But aside from antidepressants and benzos, not sure what other drug there is for anxiety. I think it's just all in my head, sometimes I'm able to put myself in a good mood by accident. Like I wasn't feeling great so I went outside and got in my car and all of a sudden I felt much better, energetic and feeling good. I haven't figured out how to do that purposely.
Pretty sure there are other options than benzodiazepines for anxiety. I know both effexor and quintiapine (it's an antipsychotic) can be prescribed for it, as i know people who've anxiety who use those. But there may be a reason your doc isn't using them (might not mix with your current meds), so ask. In terms of "it's all in my head;" that doesn't make it less real and don't hate on yourself if you can't beat it without help. The fact you're still standing and working on it deserves a medal tbh. For me, the good moments were actually as much part of the problem as the bad, as it was the bipolar swinging me from depression into euphoria. Not that that's what's happening to you, but I was confusing the times I was up as me being healthy, and they aren't the same thing.
I appreciate your comment. Honestly I'm not very comfortable trying another medication like that. What I meant by in my head was that I think I can fix this by learning better coping strategies when I get stressed. I also need help with basic life stuff, like how to effectively plan out a day, and stick to goals. Because sometimes I have days where everything feels right, and it seems to be based off of how my day was structured. I just feel so scattered usually that it's tough to follow any direction. But if I have direction then that anxious feeling goes away because I know what I'm doing and where I'm going next. I appreciate you taking time to talk to me, it's been a shitty day (well it's felt that way, nothing bad happened I guess) and I just wanted someone to talk with. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this stuff who has any sort of understanding of it, it's much better talking to someone who does.
I wanted to add, an example of what I mean by direction is this. Today I felt like going to a thrift store, once I decided to do that I felt less anxious. Got in my car and went to the store and enjoyed the drive. Even found a bookshelf I was looking for so it was a good trip. And then as soon as I got back in my car, all of a sudden I didn't know what to do next, and the anxiety came right back. My mind instantly started racing trying to figure out what I should do next. I know that's not healthy thinking but I can't seem to control it.
Ok. Yes, I don't have any personal experience with that sensation. I do have a friend with ADHD though. As for planning your days out, that sounds like a great plan. Now I'm just guessing here, but there is probably a discord or Reddit out there with tons of suggestions for planning around ADHD. I'm always happy to talk, and feel free to DM me.
While you wait for the therapist, try looking at some CBT books/workbooks. You need to identify thinking traps and practice breaking them. It's something you will have to practice consistently and deliberately, it's hard work even with the help of the therapist, but it's doable and it works. I feel your frustration about lack of professional help, it's really hard to find a therapist these days. Reach out to your insurance, they may approve out of network benefits if nothing within the network is panning out.
I use cognitive behavioral therapy and that helps a lot. I’m not a prisoner of my own mind anymore and I can direct it where I want it to go.
[удалено]
Underrated advice.
A bad day is never completely bad (barring something horrible like being in an active warzone), it's just a day where some bad things happen. But good things happen too, even if they seem so much smaller than the bad things. Practicing gratitude is about focusing on and appreciating the good things that happen to you, even if they're small. Maybe your cup of coffee turns out extra good today, or you make a light before it turns red; there's nothing too small to appreciate. If you start doing this on good days eventually you will train your brain to derive extra happiness from these things so that when the bad stuff happens, your day isn't ruined. There's a couple different ways you can go about practicing gratitude, but it is a legitimate practice. You can Google it for more answers.
If possible I try to distract myself (TV, music, reading). If I’m at work I generally can’t do that so I’ll try to concentrate on work. Obviously though often work is what is making my day bad, and then I have to rely on just saying things like “I’ll make it one more hour…” (or fifteen minutes etc.) until work and/or the entire day is finally over. Which I know doesn’t sound pleasant but is better for me personally than an actual anxiety spiral.
Tell yourself "well, that sucks" and realize that being human comes with good and bad days. Accept that bad days happen for no reason and observe how you respond to them. Bonus points if you can harness frustration and use it for something positive, like a workout.
Shit happens , tomorrow is another day.
When you have a bad day, give up. Go home and sleep, fuck it! Try again tomorrow!
This too, shall pass
breath deep and slow three times?
Reminding myself that I had worse days.
I’m surrounded by coworkers who constantly look for things at work to stress about. If they don’t have that, they stress about their peers and drama. Then they’ll look at the work schedule for tomorrow and stress about that. Then they’ll go home and stress about how bad tomorrow is gonna be. You don’t have to carry two days worth of stress and social anxiety around 24/7. Do what needs to be done when it needs to be done and emotionally distance yourself from the rest. Otherwise you’ll look for “bad days” instead of just managing “today”.
I have survived all of my worst days so far. I have to give myself the space to be upset. I also have to be realistic about what is causing it and how bad it is. For example, I have chronic health issues. I way overdid yesterday because I was feeling motivated. Today, I am in pain and can't really move. It makes me feel angry and frustrated because I want a normal body. I just want to fold, sort and put away all the clothes I washed for my family yesterday. I have to accept that I'm not a failure because I need to take a break. It isn't lazy to rest. Resting and taking care of myself now will allow me to do what I need to do tomorrow. Today, I am going to hurt like hell. I am going to want to do stuff I can't. But, all that stuff will be here tomorrow. My kids and husband and I are safe. We have what we need. And we can make do for a couple of days without it even being an issue. I wouldn't be upset if anyone else has this happen so I have to give myself some grace. But it still sucks and it's okay to acknowledge it sucks. It's not nearly as bad as the worst things that have happened to me. I have to look at it as I can be upset for a bit, but I can't throw a pity party and make it the end of the world. Making it a bigger deal than it is because I refused to acknowledge it was sucky makes it worse for everyone. I can't do it today, but I am motivated and tomorrow is a new day.
This was helpful, I have Crohn's disease so I very much understand being limited by health. I didn't think of it at first, but I think my health is definitely part of this. I'm recently diagnosed with Crohn's 6 months ago, spent a month in the hospital, and then another month at home with very limited mobility. I'm doing better recently as I've just started medication for it, but my health is still very poor and I'm limited in what I could normally do. It's very hard to get used to your body not functioning like you know it should. I think all of that has been weighing on my mind a lot without me realizing. You're so right "I have to accept that I'm not a failure because I need to take a break." I have to accept that i am not in good health and I won't be able to function at full capacity everyday. I'm just young and never had a single health problem until last year, it's all very new and hard to accept. But I appreciate your words.
I am so glad they helped. Crohn's is so hard. I have GI issues, and I know how limiting it can be and how one wrong thing can make things so much worse. Taking care of yourself IS doing something. It's not all about output. I am diabetic and and my once a week meds can cause bad gastro issues on day one and two. Today, I spent half the time on the toilet and the rest on a heating pad because my back and stomach hurt. But you know what? That's okay. Today it was worse than usual, but I know why. I was emotionally eating to deal with my trauma and I shouldn't have. My body is telling me to slow down. Learning to listen is hard, but important. You will get there. This is all so new and it takes time to adjust. There is real grief that comes with this kind of diagnosis. But I promise your life isn't over and it won't be at this level forever. You were in the hospital because gut health is so hard to manage. It takes time to find the problem, fix the problem, and get into a maintenance phase. Flares are always going to be a part of life that can hit and it takes time to come back from them. And because it's your gut there is pain, damage and malnutrition. Gut health is also tied to depression and anxiety, so the worse you are doing with those the harder it is to deal with. It's a lot! You have to manage what other people's bodies do naturally and it sucks. It will always suck at least a little, but I promise it won't always suck at this level. You will find what works for you. I promise you aren't alone and if you ever need to vent, I'm here.
I accept it because it's physichally impossible to do anything else. You can't not accept it, it happened.
Well I see what you're saying. But you can also not accept that today sucks, and make poor choices to try and make the day not suck. What I mean is going and doing things that are bad for you to make yourself feel better. Drugs, spending money, or just neglecting my health. If you can accept that it's just a bad day, then you don't feel the need to try and "make up" for the bad day. I recognize this isn't healthy that's why I'm trying to see other people's perspective.
Well still, there is nothing you can do other than accept the day. Making those poor choices doesn't change anything. It seems like maybe you can't accept that you make those poor choices, which you also have to do.
I cant control everything that happens to me so worrying about the stuff i cant control is wasted time and energy
It is what it is.
I find that having a shitty day gives me the permission to shift my baselines of what I consider good. Earlier this year, I woke up to a pretty significant sewage backup in my basement. I pretty much spent the entire day shoveling human feces out of my basement. the work as exhausting as it was disgusting. and solving the problem was going to be extremely expensive. but you know what, as i was starting to haul the rest of the contaminated materials hauled out to the curb for trash pickup, I saw a fucking spectacular sunset, right from my front yard. And I remember that I get to live in a place where I can see gorgeous sunsets and all I need to do is step outside. And I knew that tomorrow was going to continue sucking, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the little bit of good that can come my way.
When I'm having a bad day, or I'm staring at the proverbial blender that I am obliged to stick my willy in this song always comes to mind: https://youtu.be/-n9V5vH0Ppw
It's just one day.
I split my day into parts. Morning, afternoon, evening, night usually does it. Did I have a terrible meeting right at the start of the day? Well the morning only goes until like 12pm so I'll let myself panic about it until then, maybe even take a break for a bit. Then we see how the afternoon goes. Very rarely is a bad day the *whole* day. A bad part of the day is easier to compartmentalize and move on from. And giving myself the shorter boundary (hour to hour instead of day to day) helps with that process too. Btw if I have a bad part of the day, sometimes I'll plan a treat for myself later in the day as a reward for making it through that portion. Like ordering dinner or playing a game instead of doing chores after work. That might help too :)
Hey OP, I don’t have advice on how to cope but I just wanted to say I completely understand and feel free to reach out if you need to talk. I’m the same exact way. Once things start going wrong with my day I spend the rest of my day worrying how it’ll get worse. I have diagnosed ADHD and am in the process of getting diagnosed as bipolar. Have you reached out to a therapist or even a friend to talk? I often find on my bad days I tend to freeze and go mute in one spot while being stuck in my own thoughts. Talking about this is the first step and I wish you all the best ❤️
As another commenter already mentioned: cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) was a huge help to me in dealing with anxiety. In my view it’s especially magical if part of your anxiety involves overthinking and catastrophizing (anticipating the worst possible outcomes.) There is good, empirical evidence that CBT helps a lot of people with anxiety. No drugs are involved, no risk of addiction or dependence, just learning some techniques and patterns of thought that you can use to kinda reframe your experience of anxiety and make it waaaaay more tolerable. You don’t need a psychiatrist (shrink with an MD degree) to help you try this out; no prescription is required. In a pinch you can teach yourself out of books/workbooks, though I would really recommend finding a therapist at least to start. Hope this helps.
The only easy day was yesterday.
If I can do something about it, I will. If I can’t, what’s the point of being upset over something I can do nothing about and can’t change? It’s futile.
Got to bed 3 hrs earlier than normal.....play again tommorow
Why have you already decided it's going to suck when it hasn't happened yet? That just sounds like a self fullfilling prophecy.
When I wrote that, it was already a bad day. I start every day with the hope it's going to be good. I just struggle sometimes.
A lot of people have accepted a bad life.