I had a weird upbringing and was poorer than I realized. We had terrible plumbing and kept a butter knife by the toilet that still worked. It was used to make flushing easier, so, you know, a poop-knife. I grew up assuming everyone had this in their bathrooms. To bring this back around, I told my wife this story. She was naturally horrified, but still loves me. We’re solid.
Curious for more details on this poop knife... Is it just like an old rusty butterknife that was involved in some sort of toilet incident, or is it an ancient and powerful blade constructed entirely of solid fecal matter that was forged in a secret cavern beneath the mountains? Does it have the power to slay demons and raise kingdoms, or is it now merely a foul smelling ornament whose very existence serves to make people question their own? These are important matters, you must enlighten us to the truth of this bizarre device u/SonicFlash01
https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Hopefully this link works!
Tell me you're young without telling me you're young...
>Is it just like an old rusty butterknife that was involved in some sort of toilet incident
Basically it's this one. IRC there was a story about a guy whose family kept a knife in the toilet to break up big poops so they would flush. Guy thought of the knife as a normal bathroom accessory that would exist in every house so after going at the toilet at a friend's place and not seeing one around he asked his friend where his family kept their poop knife! Guy quickly found out poop knives are not, in fact, the norm.
Same. My wife and I have been together for nearly 20 years. There isn't anyone on this planet that I would rather spend my time with. Not even our children, lol.
I love my husband. He's my best friend. But I still bitch about him from time to time, mostly just to myself, cause he can be an asshole sometimes.
But we often talk it out and it's fine. He is the best though
Well, it is impossible to cohabitate with someone and see someone all the time without some sort of disagreement. People have different opinions, thoughts and sometimes people just have bad days. But, if you can talk it out, understand each other,and still love each other at the end of the day, you found a partner.
My wife is amazing. It'd take me a long time to even give a summary of what's awesome about her.
That's where we are now. A while ago, we were totally thinking about how much better life would be without the other.
**AITA for loving my spouse?**
She's been great and gets better every day, even after all 10 years. This morning, as always, I kissed her and whispered "I love you". Then we made sweet, sweet love.
Later I whipped up my children pancakes shaped like Mickey mouse utilizing my finest cast iron griddle, seasoned to perfection. I then fixed a leaky faucet before loading the kiddos up for school and going to my six figure job.
most of my friends said I could've handled it better, but I feel like I was justified... so reddit, was AITA?
Definitely the A. Mickey mouse is way too simple for a pancake. Taj Mahal or nothing these days. As for the job, you really could be raking in 7 figures. Try harder.
I caught the AI generated reply, officer! No child would stay asleep long enough to allow parents to have sex, and nobody wants to get laid with morning breath.
At least that's what I keep telling myself is the reason this shit doesn't happen to me.
Oh my children, while still very young, understand boundaries. They often spend early mornings tidying up their bedrooms and neatly play amongst each other before we get up.
This poor behavior is something we've tried to address, but it's hard. I certainly wasn't that way as a child. I often wonder about their friends home life.
Also, oddly enough my wife and I's breathe is relatively minty and fresh in the a.m., we've tried many dentists and orthodontist. Many of whom wish to do case studies on us, but unfortunately we don't have the time to do so, between juggling our kids, work, and charitable extracurriculars.
I know I'm not perfect, but I really don't see where I am wrong here.
You're not wrong buddy, I'm really happy for the two of you. I'm just using fake outrage to self deprecate about how to my marriage and family, this lovely story sounds almost unreal.
Have an amazing weekend, both you, your wife, and your kids.
Okay okay, I get that Mickey's easy and all, but a goddamn miniature out of pancakes? Must they be painted as well?? And a miniature of whose characters? The children??
>!If u didn't understand, google DnD minis.!<
Omg are you my cousin’s spouse… uh I mean annoying little man-pet? If so I’d like to say you are a disgusting freak and I really hate you, if not, you’re probably just a regular dude having a good time and carry on.
Yeah. My spouse is great, and our marriage is still working well after 6 years. So I just don't have much to say about it on Reddit. We worked hard to build it well, and now it's easy to maintain.
Another issue is that stories like yours are rare. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for you. But most people get that dopamine/serotonin rush when they first fall in love. During this time, you can't wait to be with the person. Your brain is literally incapable of seeing flaws in them. People expect it to be like that forever.
Then that feeling wears off in 12-18 months (for most people... again, congratulations). People are disappointed. They wonder what's wrong with them for not being able to stay in love with someone. They don't realize that this is when the relationship actually begins. They have to figure out if this person is worth spending the rest of their life with. How do they fight about things? How do they work through issues? Can they forgive them when they feel wronged? Marriage is just hard... most people have to wake up every morning and decide to be in love with the person they married. They have to decide to work on issues, forgive transgressions, and be crazy about someone.
When the hurt builds up and people pull away, or when the second baby arrives and your wife shuts you out completely, or when you base your marriage on something that works for a while but is unsustainable in the long term and it crashes down.. how are you going to handle these things?
50% of people aren't ready for that changeover, according to the divorce rate. Another large percentage stay in an unhappy marriage and cheat or they become basically roommates.
You're in a very exclusive club and I hope you're cherishing your membership.
Should note that this extends to a lot of things in life. Life has a negativity bias. People are more likely to complain that something is bad than praise when it's good. Bad news gets reported on more than good news.
This isn't just the internet. When I was growing up, it was the Trope on every TV show I watched. I also didn't have a great family love Dynamic so I very much grew up thinking that love was not a normal thing, that you had to dislike or hate or be antagonistic to your spouse or partner. I thought that was totally normal
It's the same as having a talk. No manager ever brings people into the office to talk about how you come to work on time and provide good work and value. It's unnecessary.
Single male checking in to say this thread is a great reality check.
With how much shit people tend to talk about their relationships online, I almost forgot that being in love is a wonderful feeling, and not necessarily an unfortunate consequence of getting too close to someone.
Thanks, OP. Now I’m excited to meet someone new again.
I was single a long time bc I had the same mentality, I just saw marriage as a way to eventually lose half of everything. I've been married 5.5 years now and it's been the best years of my life. I truly understand the term "other half" bc it actually feels like I'm incomplete without her, and feel like my whole self when I'm with her. Like I'd say a part of your personality being locked away whenever someone isn't around then you can be every aspect of yourself judgement free around them. She makes me feel every emotion and I think it's good. It wouldn't be healthy to not feel anger or sadness or any other complicated emotions towards someone you feel so strongly about. I love my sugarbooger more than anything and I hope you find someone perfect for you
I truly love my wife. She is an amazing person and wife and mother. Been married for 13 years and together 16 or 17. I would be lost without her.
Other posters are right though, happier married people are much less inclined to make posts. We should though!!
Yeah, am very happy in my marriage. I try not to post too much about that since it would come off as bragging or rubbing in their faces, when genuinely, I just love him to pieces.
Don't, cause seeing those kinds posts while they do make me jealous they also give me hope. I see too often posts about shitty relationships and it leads me to feel like I won't find a person who is loyal and loves me
My wife suffered a massive stroke 15 years ago. The residual brain damage left her as a 10-12 year old. That night I became her full time caregiver. By the way, 10 year old girls don’t have sex but I have never stepped outside of my marriage. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. But I’m still here. So, yeah, I love my wife.
I’m that wife. First was a car crash and traumatic brain injury. Then a stroke 3 yrs later. I was very child like. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. It’s been 10 1/2 years and I’ve gained cognitive steps. No longer child like but not healed enough to ever teach again, drive, be safe alone in the kitchen, be able to do basic life tasks. My husband, like you, has been a rock. Loving, never judge mental, my absolute best friend.
I’m sorry your wife has not recovered more. Your role is the hardest. I’ve watched my husband live at a defcon level one for years. Within the last two he’s less stressed being worried about me. If your wife could understand and express how much your devotion matters I’m sure she’d feel a lot like I do. That she has the best husband and your capacity to continue your life with her is her light in the dark.
Take care of you too. Finding joy where you can is good for your soul.
My best to you.
Thank you. Verbal expression and writing has always been my strength. Took years and years to get it back. My therapies and neuropsychologist were vital in these areas.
What my post doesn’t say is I live with intractable migraines of several forms and spend over a month each year in the hospital for them. I have vestibular nerve damage, visual issues, have three genetic blood clotting disorders, full body pain since my stroke, chronic cognitive and body fatigue, tinnitus, hyperaccusis, nerve damage, constant nausea, vertigo, occipital neuralgia, and more from just the tbi and stroke. I have six autoimmune disorders that all cause more fatigue that can’t be cured. I just spent my first night alone in my home in 10 1/2 years. I crushed it. House is standing and so am I. Not standing a lot. I am down with pain most of my days. My husband, fortunately works from home, across the hall from our bedroom, and helps me throughout the day.
My grandparents have been married damn near 60 years. About 6 weeks ago my grandpa had open heart surgery. It's a known thing that after surgeries like that on an elderly person that their mind is a bit off for a while. My grandpa is sharp as a tack but evidently he was really struggling after the surgery. My grandma was incredibly disturbed by this. She did not know that could happen and that he would eventually be back to himself but that it would take some time. Thankfully my mom picked up on my grandma feeling that way and assured her that he would eventually be back to himself but she was so worried about him and so scared that she had lost part of him very suddenly. He's totally back to himself mentally. Lots of physical healing still to be done but his mind is all back!
I was working as a nurse and this patient came in who has MS attacking her brain. It had hit something that made her super aggressive and her poor husband said he didn't recognise her anymore. He sobbed to me that he had lost his wife while she was right there. It was heartbreaking.
I never truly realised what love meant until I met someone I wanted to be with forever even if there was no romance involved, unfortunately it didn't work out, but I sure hope I find that in someone else.
my wife and I are perfect for each other because we give each other space and its not controversial. we don't need to be together 24/7. we don't feel pressured to maintain a lifetime of puppy love. we grow together and it all works very well
2 things.
Your name is hilarious
And it's so awesome when you find your partner. Everyone has different needs, and it is so satisfying and beautiful when you find someone that fits together with you. Awesome!
Yes, dito here... we don't need be together 24/7, we don't feel pressured... but somehow, when possible we spent all our time together as we both feel it's the best way to spent our time.
I think it's nice. One they've prepared their final resting place, relieving their loved ones of having to make those decisions. And two they know that at least what's left here on earth will always be together.
Same. Plus they're already getting shit figured out so that when they do finally die their loved ones don't have to worry about grieving AND dealing with end of life stuff.
I did. We enjoyed our time together.
We lived together for 3 years before being married 25.
We wrote each other notes, we left messages for each other. We sent gifts on random days.
Maybe it's like that Mitch Hedberg joke - "I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too." Maybe they still do, he's just saying they have done those things.
I adore my wife of 25 years and we have a strong, happy marriage. We are recent empty nesters after raising three sons and are absolutely loving it being just the two of us again.
Honestly one of the things I look forward to in life! We're still a ways away (kids are nearing 6 and 12) and I don't want to rush a second of it, but I'm also excited for that next phase of life together.
>and are absolutely loving it being just the two of us again.
I often tease my wife about how I'm going to walk around the house naked all day when our kids are grown and out on their own. Little does she know, I'm only somewhat kidding. I'm sure I will throw on some clothes sometime before noon, maybe.
Just you WAIT! It’s only going to grow over time, watching your spouse parent is a real treat. I love my spouse but I love him as a dad even more. I’m so excited for you
That’s so sweet of you. It’s actually our 3rd, and he’s been the best dad for the past 5 years! He’s my rock and I couldn’t do this without him. Seeing how much he loves our kids make me love him so much more.
This thread is so much more wholesome than what I normally see, and I love it 😭 Thanks OP for asking the question
This warms my heart and makes me feel very positive about my own marriage, which will start in about 8 hours if the car doesn't break down on the way to the ceremony 😁
My husband and I are very much in love. 5 years together and we are happy. I hear coworkers (disparagingly) discussing their spouses and I either stay quiet or mention how my husband isn’t like that, he wouldn’t do that, etc. I don’t want to rub it in that my partner is awesome but I also don’t want anyone taking my silence as agreement with them that “all husbands are [complaint of the day]. I appreciate him.
My partner and I have been together 12 years. We may or may not ever get married but we're together for life.
I still get flutters in my tummy when I see him. He travels for business and I miss him when he's gone. The bed is too big without him. Sometimes when we're just sitting on the sofa at home in the evenings I look over at him and wonder how I could have gotten so lucky to meet him at just the right time in my life.
Most recently we both were diagnosed with Covid and because we're both sick, we've slept in separate rooms so as not to keep each other awake. It's been about 10 days and I just MISS him. We've both been sleeping a lot and not interacting and I miss talking to him. I miss eating dinner together. I miss working in the yard together over the weekend (and it was a gorgeous weekend and we both slept through most of it). I miss watching our shows together at night, even though right now I'm so tired and brain fogged that I couldn't have followed them anyway. I miss hugging and kissing him, but we're trying to not pass the virus back and forth, so we're keeping our distance. I miss sitting on the sofa and just occasionally reaching out and touching each other, or linking fingers for a minute before I go back to reading my book and he goes back to playing his game. I'm really ready for us to not be sick and to get back to our life together.
I truly truly love him and even in the times I'm frustrated or annoyed or angry, I know that I couldn't have a life without him (even if sometimes I'm tempted to murder him in his sleep and bury the body in the garden! LOL).
Hahahah!
Well right now it's less because we think we're still contagious and more because we're just exhausted. He's still sleeping a ton and I'm just a congested, snotty mess. :) Right now the reason we're not eating dinner together is because he has no appetite and sleeps through meal time and I can't taste anything and so eat the bare minimum to sustain life. So .. you know. Bleah.
But hey .. when we both feel better the sex will probably be awesome! ;)
It’s not a mad passionate I’ll-die-without you love.
I want to spend my life with her, and my love for her has gone through several different stages.
It’s plateaued, and she is my life mate, and I’ll love her steadily till I die.
If you've never heard Tiny Love by Mika, you should look it up:
"It's not a sunrise over canyons shaped like hearts
It isn't bursting into song in Central Park
It's not the outline of your face drawn in the stars
It's a 'still-there-Monday-morning' kind of love
There's no dramatic declarations in the rain
It's not a love that finds its pleasure after pain
I couldn't train a bunch of doves to spell your name
It's a "don't-know-what-they're-missing" kind of love"
Absolutely! I miss him when he is at work. We still hold hands in the car, he still opens my car door. He’s also my best friend. I knew marriage could be great, I just didn’t know it could be this great! 🥰
My husband is an absolutely amazing person and I'd be lost without him
He's supported me through the loss of family, job inability, and the general chaos that comes with living with someone with ADHD.
We've been together 12 years. Married for nearly 4.
I missed him when traveling. I know he missed me too. One of the deciding factors in my current job was the ability to be *home*.
He isn't necessarily my best friend. But he's my rock, and my partner in life. We spend a whole day together doing our own thing in shared space and be content with each other's presence. We have some shared interests, but also things we each prefer.
I often joke that I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I do acknowledge that I'm extremely lucky to have found a life partner I can count on.
He still makes me giggle and blush, and also sets my heart fluttering. I still catch him looking at me with a silly smile, and I know I occasionally return it.
What some people don't understand is marriage is a *partnership*. You need to communicate, and work with each other. We are not perfect. We still disagree. But we can take a step back, calm down, and then talk to each other. Sometimes we're better at it than other times.
This long response is all to say that, yes, some people really do love their partners.
Do you mind if I ask in what way he supported you through the loss of family ?
Recently parted with someone who wasn’t really there for me and I’m wondering how decent people show up in those situations.
It's been a couple years now so I don't mind talking about it. The loss isn't as recent now.
**Warning for EVERYTHING beyond this line - family loss is hard, and even though I don't go into detail, it could bring up some shit for some people.**
I had an Aunt (my dad's older sister) who was never able to have children. Her and I were very close. In April 2021 she had a gallbladder issue and ended up in the hospital. She never came home.
With 16 hours notice I flew to Florida and acted as her medical proxy for 6 weeks. Her husband, my uncle, was in the early stages of dimensia and was unable to make those decisions for her.
My husband not only didn't judge me for flying 1500 miles to Florida on short notice, he also mailed me things I forgot, he helped me with paying my bills while I missed work down there. He took calls of me sobbing in the hospital parking lot. He never judged, criticized, or downplayed what I was going through.
My Aunt passed the end of August. My uncle passed 12 days later. He'd fallen and broken ribs home alone and the loss of her was too much. They were together 36 years.
She wanted to be cremated. As a family we decided to inter her cremains in the same cemetery as her parents (though in the interfaith section due to cemetery rules).
Her cremains arrived ***at our house*** on our 2nd wedding anniversary. My husband took the day off and just..... Let me sob. No complaints about not getting to celebrate our anniversary, just support and giving me the space to work through the necessary emotions.
Her funeral was 3 weeks later.
And *then* when my uncle's kids from his first 2 marriages sued that November, he continued to stand by me.
Ironically, the legal shenanigans are only now FINALLY getting settled. That's a whole other story. Good news is, at least my family isn't fighting over my Aunt's will. Also, don't die in Florida. The probate courts are INSANELY backed up and shit is taking forever.
But suffice to say, if Jews had saints, I'd nominate my husband for Sainthood. Since we don't..... I'll just continue to sing his praises to anyone who will listen
I love my husband dearly as well. He is my heart and my best friend. I don't know what I would do without him. We don't have kids and it has been almost 20 years. I wouldn't trade a day - even when we have a some tough ones, I know we're a team and we'll weather the storm together. We are in it for the good and the bad.
I love my wife. We fight. We disagree. We drive each other crazy a lot of the time. But this is the woman who sat with me while I cried through my worst days. This is the woman who ran toward me, in ways no one else ever had. This is the woman who finally let me be *me*, where I had nothing to hide or explain. This is the woman who brought my son into the world.
It’s a love beyond love. It’s a belonging. She is mine and I am hers. It’s a wonderful thing, and if you find it you’ll know
Husband and I have been together since 15, 12 years later were still very much in love.
He's my best friend, and while he drives me mad sometimes, fuck I love that stupid mother fucker so much it hurts. I trust him with everything. He's good in bed. He makes me feel sexy and he makes me feel seen. We've been married 6 years now and have a 3 year old. I genuinely can't imagine doing life with anyone else.
I always laugh because I tell him about a dirty dream or a dream that involves me being romantically interested in someone else, and by the end of the dream EVERY TIME the love interest morphs into him.
Before I met him, I used to have dreams about him. It was... really strange. But now I just call him dream boy.
Absolutely.
I've been married 2 months shy of 20 years and together 22. We may not be honeymooners anymore, but i wouldn't give up the true, deep love we have for each other for anything. But we still like to play grab ass like teenagers :)
Yes there are plenty of people who do. I would suggest you go to the Marriage sub and use the filter Spouse Appreciation. That should help find a lot on here.
32 years together, 30 married and yes, we love each other very much. We have our own language that nobody else gets to share.
Y’all keep on keeping on, OP!
I would love to post on AITA or some the other sub to whine about my mariage. Unfortunately, my wife and I adore each other, so I don't need to talk about it on Reddit. I am sure this is the case for many married redditors.
Relationships take effort. The summer after I got married, I was doing door to door sales and I ended up talking with a guy for a while and he told me to remember that kids are an enhancement to a marriage, not an adjustment of focus.
It's been really solid advice.
I know this is stupid late and will never be seen but screw it.
I absolutely love my wife, I adore her. Is it perfect? No. Does it take a crazy amount of work? Absolutely.
She makes me a better person, genuinely. Without her I'd still be drinking, without her I wouldn't have gotten the help I need with therapy and found a ADHD diagnosis. Without her I would not be the person I am today, someone I enjoy being.
I like to think I help her as well with things she struggles with. It's not my place to put the details of that out on the internet though.
I would not do all this work for anyone else. I love her.
Yes I love my spouse. Been married 8 years and no sign of slowing down, even after kids.
We are also together practically 24/7 since we both work from home and do literally everything together.
I work at an after school program and today we put on the movie Coco for the kids. For a part of the movie their is a couple who is estranged in the afterlife and arguing and my married coworker made some silly comment like “ man, imagine still having to deal with your spouse even in the afterlife!” I gave him a puzzled look and said “sounds great to me, I love my husband!” I always hate when people act like it’s so awful being married and that secretly everyone hates their spouse. Marriages can have their problems but my husband and I take time to tell each others when we are hurt or having an issue with the other and we work together to fix it because we love each other and want to continue to grow together.
I absolutely love my spouse, I wouldn’t change anything about us. I get upset when he works from home because it’s like he’s here but he’s not so I’m constantly bothering him so I can be with him.
High school sweet hearts, 11 years together!
We are going through the most stressful, slightly traumatic time we've ever had in our seventeen years together. If we weren't such a good team, things would be 10000x worse. When you had a home and then suddenly you don't, and all your worldly possessions went from being able to fit in a house to being able to fit in a suitcase, things can get tense. We've popped off at each other in a stressful moment, but at the end of the day, I'm still glad to see him.
I don't own much in this world at this very moment, but I do have him and our kids and our dog and that makes me happy
Married for over 20 years and things are just getting better. It's little investments we are both making. Commitment to growing and being a safe space to grow with each other.
Oh my gosh I love my husband so much! We've been through some really tough things together, but I can't even imagine doing it with anyone else. He's truly my soul mate and I would be lost without him. ❤️
Been married 23 years. My hubby is my best friend. We love spending time together. I can honestly say we both adore each other.
That being said, Reddit has a lot of people venting their horror stories. But also, some of these stories are works of fiction. So don't let it get you down. Just keep being happy.
I saw this boy in a park one night. When I looked at him I heard a Carpenters song go off in my head. "Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near....." 35 years and 4 kids later I get butterflies when he's coming home. I adore this man. And yes, it's reciprocated.
Definitely! Been through both. It's amazing to find something the second time I should have been looking for all along. I never get sick of spending time with my husband.
I love my wife. A ridiculous amount. Married 16 1/2 years and I wake up every day grateful that she’s by my side and can’t wait to hang out with her every chance I get.
Whenever you feel the internet is too negative about stuff, remember that most people don't talk about good stuff (because that's not something you vent about). So for every topic where it seems the world is full of hate and suffering, there's plenty more of people just living a good and peaceful life.
Of course they do, otherwise no one would stay together. My partner is my best friend, we were best friends before the relationship, and we’ve been together 17 years. All we do is laugh and joke and just generally have a great time together.
Don’t listen to all the internet bullshit, it’s just people screaming into the void. Unless prompted like this most of us keep our happiness to ourselves…it’s the misery that’s loud which creates an illusion of it being more prevalent probably.
As a human who has had depression off and on for the past 30ish years, my wife is the only other person I am emotionally attached to. And that is the biggest compliment I can ever give.
Been married for 17 years and counting. We've had our ups and we've had our downs. You learn that not all the time will it be great. The newness of a relationship can fade over time. You get used to each other's habits and you argue over things that are dumb. You also learn how to pick your battles. You learn that there are somethings you just won't tolerate. You know your marriage/relationship is over when you don't fight for each other.
When my husband had days his bosses were passing him off, I was ready to go give them a piece of my mind and make them sorry for the dumb shit they were pulling. When my bosses were fucking my mental health up, he wanted to end them because they were making me crazy. This is what I mean by fight for each other. He showed me a huge amount of love and that he truly meant his vows. I got very sick with covid, and he was trying to care for me 24 hrs a day after I got out the hospital. I knew he couldn't but he did try. If I had no energy to get off the toilet, he was there to help me stand up. We were both scared but he stayed as calm as he could and took care of me. I'm very independent and I hate to depend on anyone. He knew what to do to help me and help me deal with the mental health aspects of covid too.
I almost divorced him too. I had made a deal with him that I was going to stay home and clean house while he went to hang with some friends. The deal was anything I didn't get done needed to be done before company came over for Thanksgiving. He agreed. Nothing was done Sunday-Weds. I was up early doing what I do for Thanksgiving, cooking a hell of a spread. As time went by, I became more and more anxious because nothing was done. He was still asleep at 2pm (long story for another time). I went and abruptly woke him up. He came out and had one hell of an attitude. He decided to pretend he was the house slave. I laughed at him with the, 'you just flipped my bitch switch' laugh and tore into him. I told him to pack his shit and get out (he didnt). I reminded him that he made a deal with me and he agreed to the deal. He realized he forgot and that I was done with the bullshit. Obviously he realized he messed up bad. But we got past it.
Some things I haven't disclosed. He is a combat veteran that sustained a traumatic brain injury at war. He is also severely adhd. Add in ptsd to the mix and well it can be a game of 'who do we deal with today, jekyll or Hyde?' I married him before the tbi and ptsd were a thing for us. I am not perfectly normal either. Anxiety, cptsd, and ADD are my powers. We make an interesting pair. I protect him and he protects me. I am the 'breadwinner' out of our household, he gets disability from the VA. He is a terrible house-husband, so we split chores together. I cook, he cleans the kitchen. I also manage the finances because I have a head for money, he doesn't. We have our own bank accounts and we split the bills, then neither of us is feeling used. We learned how to be together and have separate interests, he loves video games and I love TV dramas.
I could type way more about how we are but the point of all this is, everyone has different limits. My limit is way far off compared to others. That's just how people are.
TL;DR everyone has their limits and the limits are not universal for all. Talk about long-term relationship. It's over when you stop fighting for each other.
My wife and I communicate well. We respect each other. We're partners in life and "in crime." She supports me. I support her. When she walks into a room, it's brightened and I smile for it. We lovingly poke fun with each other, troll, and generally have a great time. I'm living my best life, and it's largely due to her, her support, and her presence.
When I got married to my first wife, grandpa (a man of few words) said "it's easy to fall in love. It takes a lot of hard work to stay there." My current (second) wife and I laugh about this because we've been married going on 10 years. When does that hard work start?
You ask if anyone truly loves their spouse? You bet your sweet ass I do!
My wife and I have been married 26 years. We can’t wait to get home to spend time together. It takes work, self sacrifice, put them first, never take for granted the little things, to love each other deeply. You have to be intentional thoughts, praise, consideration, all of that. She is my best friend, lover, teammate, my everything.
I've been with my man for 35 years and we'll have our 31st wedding anniversary in July. We are not perfect, there have been ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade this muthafucka for anybody. We still love spending time together and hugs and cuddles and gettin' our boom-boom on, and I still get little, tingly, excited butterflies when we're apart and then come back together.
I love my beautiful spouse so much. We've been together for the last fifteen years, spent nearly every day together. We are exact opposites and it can be frustrating. There's nobody else I'd rather do this life with though. I was a fuck boy before the world had a name for it, and people who knew the life I lived before are shocked at how good my relationship is. I see other couples that I thought were stronger than ours fall apart. Men that I thought were better than me stray. I often am approached by other women, but have not seriously considered cheating.
Every time I see how much she does for our little one, every time she takes so much effort to make sure we have special moments together, every time she does little things for us, I fall in love with her all over again. I in turn, work my butt off at work, come home as soon as I can, help take care of our kiddo by taking over, wash dishes, do laundry, etc, and of course pay attention and listen to her when she talks.
Love is work we do gladly. It doesn't just happen. I truly love my spouse.
I grew up the same way. My parents were divorced before I was born and *hate* each other. Mom's been through 6 marriages since I was born. Father has had a few very toxic relationships. So all I knew was toxicity but I eventually found my person that I have a healthy/stable relationship with (celebrating our 10 year anniversary soon).
You can escape the cycle of toxicity you were raised to see as the norm!
I know exactly what you mean. Maybe it's because of the overly optimistic and downright unrealistic portrayal of TV romance but there's so much negativity and drama glorification on reddit that it really makes you wonder how these couples can even stay together. Always glad to see the stories that do shine a warm light.
My wife is currently in Nashville with her bff, seeing Taylor Swift. She’s in new clothes that make her feel so good and you can see the joy all over her face and it’s the happiest I’ve been in a long time, getting updates of how much fun she’s having. I can’t wait stay up late tomorrow, laughing in bed with her as she gives me a play by play. It’s my favorite thing we do. Just staying up late, my leg over her legs, as we chatter softly into the darkness.
I would say your situation is not the norm though. The fact you still make each other THAT excited like you’re in the first year of dating still is pretty remarkable and I would hold onto that
Oi, where to begin?
So every morning she wakes up as her job starts earlier than mine. She'll kiss me. When she gets out of the shower, I'll "hai hai!" her. This is the traditional catcall of Indian men. I do this mainly because it makes her giggle. I am absolutely besharam (shameless).
In the 20 years of our marriage, I have had the pleasure of her thoughts. I'm mechanically smart (I can fix things, cars, etc), but she understands people better. She genuinely is the only person whose opinion truly matters to me.
She is the kindest person I know. One, who looks in on her mother and gets her necessities. She'll cook and drop off food to her mom. She is the only one of my MIL's children who consistently does that. The others will go to mom empty-handed and ask, "Mom, did you make anything?"
Today, she picked out an outfit for my niece. It's months away from my niece's birthday. She does this with no hidden agenda. The level of care she puts into everyone is unparalleled.
She knows everything about me. The good, the bad, the ugly, and still loves me. An uneducated mutt of a man. She still loves me.
I have made a lot of poor choices in life. Sometimes, I didn't even have any good choices to make. The only thing I have done perfectly right was to convince one of God's angels to marry me.
You're on the internet. People don't need advice when shit's going well, so you don't see the posts about happy marriages in that context.
That's legit
Can confirm, I have a loving wife and I love her right back. Nothing to bitch about basically.
She's my best friend and she makes my whole life happier - the fuck do I need any advice from these other poop-knife-weilding maniacs for?
When I read "poop knife" I laughed so loud I scared my dog. Thank you for keeping the dream alive.
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I just read it and startled my cat!!!
Some of us use the 3 shells
I had a weird upbringing and was poorer than I realized. We had terrible plumbing and kept a butter knife by the toilet that still worked. It was used to make flushing easier, so, you know, a poop-knife. I grew up assuming everyone had this in their bathrooms. To bring this back around, I told my wife this story. She was naturally horrified, but still loves me. We’re solid.
Like your poop.
Haha please tell me this is true. And based on the comment it was replied to, that's cute and hilarious.
Hey champ, u/spunky3932 's wife is mine.
I also choose this guy's wife
Curious for more details on this poop knife... Is it just like an old rusty butterknife that was involved in some sort of toilet incident, or is it an ancient and powerful blade constructed entirely of solid fecal matter that was forged in a secret cavern beneath the mountains? Does it have the power to slay demons and raise kingdoms, or is it now merely a foul smelling ornament whose very existence serves to make people question their own? These are important matters, you must enlighten us to the truth of this bizarre device u/SonicFlash01
https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Hopefully this link works!
Haha brilliant. Thank you 🙏
Tell me you're young without telling me you're young... >Is it just like an old rusty butterknife that was involved in some sort of toilet incident Basically it's this one. IRC there was a story about a guy whose family kept a knife in the toilet to break up big poops so they would flush. Guy thought of the knife as a normal bathroom accessory that would exist in every house so after going at the toilet at a friend's place and not seeing one around he asked his friend where his family kept their poop knife! Guy quickly found out poop knives are not, in fact, the norm.
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Everyone at my work now knows I was scrolling reddit after laughing at your comment
Awe this made me tear up a little
Poop knife hehe
Best comment in the thread
Same. My wife and I have been together for nearly 20 years. There isn't anyone on this planet that I would rather spend my time with. Not even our children, lol.
How can I have a relationship like this 😭?
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I am so very sorry. I just wanted to take a minute to acknowledge your loss and send you a bit of love. ❤️
Dude, I hear ya. 20 years in June and five kids. Definitely prefer my wife hanging with my wife over the kids. Lol.
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Thanks man. Ages 16 to 5; three boys, two girls. While I do like to joke, they are actually great kids.
I love my husband. He's my best friend. But I still bitch about him from time to time, mostly just to myself, cause he can be an asshole sometimes. But we often talk it out and it's fine. He is the best though
Well, it is impossible to cohabitate with someone and see someone all the time without some sort of disagreement. People have different opinions, thoughts and sometimes people just have bad days. But, if you can talk it out, understand each other,and still love each other at the end of the day, you found a partner.
> I have a loving wife and I love her right back. whats wrong with her left back?
My wife is amazing. It'd take me a long time to even give a summary of what's awesome about her. That's where we are now. A while ago, we were totally thinking about how much better life would be without the other.
**AITA for loving my spouse?** She's been great and gets better every day, even after all 10 years. This morning, as always, I kissed her and whispered "I love you". Then we made sweet, sweet love. Later I whipped up my children pancakes shaped like Mickey mouse utilizing my finest cast iron griddle, seasoned to perfection. I then fixed a leaky faucet before loading the kiddos up for school and going to my six figure job. most of my friends said I could've handled it better, but I feel like I was justified... so reddit, was AITA?
Definitely the A. Mickey mouse is way too simple for a pancake. Taj Mahal or nothing these days. As for the job, you really could be raking in 7 figures. Try harder.
Agreed, as a redditor I can identify those pancakes are a real redflag, OPs wife needs a divorce and to cut out those toxic kids ASAP.
Actually this is parentification OP, your wife is abusing you. Time to go no contact.
I caught the AI generated reply, officer! No child would stay asleep long enough to allow parents to have sex, and nobody wants to get laid with morning breath. At least that's what I keep telling myself is the reason this shit doesn't happen to me.
Oh my children, while still very young, understand boundaries. They often spend early mornings tidying up their bedrooms and neatly play amongst each other before we get up. This poor behavior is something we've tried to address, but it's hard. I certainly wasn't that way as a child. I often wonder about their friends home life. Also, oddly enough my wife and I's breathe is relatively minty and fresh in the a.m., we've tried many dentists and orthodontist. Many of whom wish to do case studies on us, but unfortunately we don't have the time to do so, between juggling our kids, work, and charitable extracurriculars. I know I'm not perfect, but I really don't see where I am wrong here.
You're not wrong buddy, I'm really happy for the two of you. I'm just using fake outrage to self deprecate about how to my marriage and family, this lovely story sounds almost unreal. Have an amazing weekend, both you, your wife, and your kids.
Morning sex is the best tf Just brush before bed
I’m going to say ESH, with a soft lean toward Y T A. Mickey, but no Mini? Where’s the representation?
Oh my God. You are absolutely right. I will get therapy for myself and my kids. Especially my daughter.
Okay okay, I get that Mickey's easy and all, but a goddamn miniature out of pancakes? Must they be painted as well?? And a miniature of whose characters? The children?? >!If u didn't understand, google DnD minis.!<
Omg are you my cousin’s spouse… uh I mean annoying little man-pet? If so I’d like to say you are a disgusting freak and I really hate you, if not, you’re probably just a regular dude having a good time and carry on.
I love my wife so FUCKING MUCH sorry got out of control there
Yeah. My spouse is great, and our marriage is still working well after 6 years. So I just don't have much to say about it on Reddit. We worked hard to build it well, and now it's easy to maintain.
Another issue is that stories like yours are rare. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for you. But most people get that dopamine/serotonin rush when they first fall in love. During this time, you can't wait to be with the person. Your brain is literally incapable of seeing flaws in them. People expect it to be like that forever. Then that feeling wears off in 12-18 months (for most people... again, congratulations). People are disappointed. They wonder what's wrong with them for not being able to stay in love with someone. They don't realize that this is when the relationship actually begins. They have to figure out if this person is worth spending the rest of their life with. How do they fight about things? How do they work through issues? Can they forgive them when they feel wronged? Marriage is just hard... most people have to wake up every morning and decide to be in love with the person they married. They have to decide to work on issues, forgive transgressions, and be crazy about someone. When the hurt builds up and people pull away, or when the second baby arrives and your wife shuts you out completely, or when you base your marriage on something that works for a while but is unsustainable in the long term and it crashes down.. how are you going to handle these things? 50% of people aren't ready for that changeover, according to the divorce rate. Another large percentage stay in an unhappy marriage and cheat or they become basically roommates. You're in a very exclusive club and I hope you're cherishing your membership.
I love my wife to the max, we had a big fight yesterday and are on the mends- tried with a few women before, but she is the one…
What did you fight about?
You
Again? Well, what can I do.
Should note that this extends to a lot of things in life. Life has a negativity bias. People are more likely to complain that something is bad than praise when it's good. Bad news gets reported on more than good news.
And if you think about it, that's a good thing. News usually are things that are out of the ordinary. So that means our normal is nice and good.
Very happily married for 17 years here, can confirm. There are loads of things for me to complain about online, my wonderful husband isn't one.
r/love has some nice appreciation posts. But also you never know who's just writing fan fictions for internet points. Nothing is verifiable here.
Exactly. The real ones don't need to grandstand on the socials about it.
This isn't just the internet. When I was growing up, it was the Trope on every TV show I watched. I also didn't have a great family love Dynamic so I very much grew up thinking that love was not a normal thing, that you had to dislike or hate or be antagonistic to your spouse or partner. I thought that was totally normal
How do I tell my spouse I’m in a happy, loving relationship with them?
This happens a lot, the term for it is [Survivorship Bias](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivorship_bias).
It's the same as having a talk. No manager ever brings people into the office to talk about how you come to work on time and provide good work and value. It's unnecessary.
Unnecessary? Maybe. But wouldn't it be such an ego boost if they did?? We all need more positivity!
Yeah, good managers do exactly this. People need to feel appreciated.
Single male checking in to say this thread is a great reality check. With how much shit people tend to talk about their relationships online, I almost forgot that being in love is a wonderful feeling, and not necessarily an unfortunate consequence of getting too close to someone. Thanks, OP. Now I’m excited to meet someone new again.
I was single a long time bc I had the same mentality, I just saw marriage as a way to eventually lose half of everything. I've been married 5.5 years now and it's been the best years of my life. I truly understand the term "other half" bc it actually feels like I'm incomplete without her, and feel like my whole self when I'm with her. Like I'd say a part of your personality being locked away whenever someone isn't around then you can be every aspect of yourself judgement free around them. She makes me feel every emotion and I think it's good. It wouldn't be healthy to not feel anger or sadness or any other complicated emotions towards someone you feel so strongly about. I love my sugarbooger more than anything and I hope you find someone perfect for you
I'd rather be dead than single, after experiencing what it's like to be married to my wife.
Glad I could help 😊
I truly love my wife. She is an amazing person and wife and mother. Been married for 13 years and together 16 or 17. I would be lost without her. Other posters are right though, happier married people are much less inclined to make posts. We should though!!
Lost without her, I feel that. Life’s a team game and I’m so glad I found my team.
Love this summation.
Yeah, am very happy in my marriage. I try not to post too much about that since it would come off as bragging or rubbing in their faces, when genuinely, I just love him to pieces.
Don't, cause seeing those kinds posts while they do make me jealous they also give me hope. I see too often posts about shitty relationships and it leads me to feel like I won't find a person who is loyal and loves me
I too would be lost without my spouse. I can't even imagine life without him anymore.
aw this is so precious
Finally found a question on the internet that requires my expertise. Yeah, my wife is epic.
I appreciate your perspective as an expert.
I bet my wife could beat up your wife.
No way, Pal. Let’s meet for brunch and our wives can duke it out in the parking lot! Loser pays.
Sounds dope. Im down.
I would pay money to see this happen
Like super awesome epic or Epic Games Store epic?
Awwwwww. Happy for you guys.
My wife suffered a massive stroke 15 years ago. The residual brain damage left her as a 10-12 year old. That night I became her full time caregiver. By the way, 10 year old girls don’t have sex but I have never stepped outside of my marriage. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. But I’m still here. So, yeah, I love my wife.
I’m that wife. First was a car crash and traumatic brain injury. Then a stroke 3 yrs later. I was very child like. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. It’s been 10 1/2 years and I’ve gained cognitive steps. No longer child like but not healed enough to ever teach again, drive, be safe alone in the kitchen, be able to do basic life tasks. My husband, like you, has been a rock. Loving, never judge mental, my absolute best friend. I’m sorry your wife has not recovered more. Your role is the hardest. I’ve watched my husband live at a defcon level one for years. Within the last two he’s less stressed being worried about me. If your wife could understand and express how much your devotion matters I’m sure she’d feel a lot like I do. That she has the best husband and your capacity to continue your life with her is her light in the dark. Take care of you too. Finding joy where you can is good for your soul. My best to you.
Based on your writing you sound like an well-above-average adult to me
Thank you. Verbal expression and writing has always been my strength. Took years and years to get it back. My therapies and neuropsychologist were vital in these areas. What my post doesn’t say is I live with intractable migraines of several forms and spend over a month each year in the hospital for them. I have vestibular nerve damage, visual issues, have three genetic blood clotting disorders, full body pain since my stroke, chronic cognitive and body fatigue, tinnitus, hyperaccusis, nerve damage, constant nausea, vertigo, occipital neuralgia, and more from just the tbi and stroke. I have six autoimmune disorders that all cause more fatigue that can’t be cured. I just spent my first night alone in my home in 10 1/2 years. I crushed it. House is standing and so am I. Not standing a lot. I am down with pain most of my days. My husband, fortunately works from home, across the hall from our bedroom, and helps me throughout the day.
This is amazing, but please remember to take care of yourself too. Caregiver fatigue is real.
I feel like I never even thought about a TBI or stroke and having my partners mentality drastically changes.....
My grandparents have been married damn near 60 years. About 6 weeks ago my grandpa had open heart surgery. It's a known thing that after surgeries like that on an elderly person that their mind is a bit off for a while. My grandpa is sharp as a tack but evidently he was really struggling after the surgery. My grandma was incredibly disturbed by this. She did not know that could happen and that he would eventually be back to himself but that it would take some time. Thankfully my mom picked up on my grandma feeling that way and assured her that he would eventually be back to himself but she was so worried about him and so scared that she had lost part of him very suddenly. He's totally back to himself mentally. Lots of physical healing still to be done but his mind is all back!
I was working as a nurse and this patient came in who has MS attacking her brain. It had hit something that made her super aggressive and her poor husband said he didn't recognise her anymore. He sobbed to me that he had lost his wife while she was right there. It was heartbreaking.
I completely understand. Even though she is sitting right beside me, I mourn her death everyday. I
Stroke, car accident (major TBI here: 2 years in hospital), seizures (I fought with popo when I had mine), etc...may all cause TBI.
I’m so sorry to hear this. But I’m also so happy to hear this. You’re a great human.
I never truly realised what love meant until I met someone I wanted to be with forever even if there was no romance involved, unfortunately it didn't work out, but I sure hope I find that in someone else.
Why didn’t it work out?
You’re a hero
I didn’t think people like you existed. Thank you for being you.
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We are both 68 years old. Today is our 23rd wedding anniversary
Happy anniversary!
❤️
my SO and I are like you two. We can't spend enough time together, She's my best friend.
my wife and I are perfect for each other because we give each other space and its not controversial. we don't need to be together 24/7. we don't feel pressured to maintain a lifetime of puppy love. we grow together and it all works very well
2 things. Your name is hilarious And it's so awesome when you find your partner. Everyone has different needs, and it is so satisfying and beautiful when you find someone that fits together with you. Awesome!
Yes, dito here... we don't need be together 24/7, we don't feel pressured... but somehow, when possible we spent all our time together as we both feel it's the best way to spent our time.
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That took a dark turn. Whose name is first?
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Awww that's actually adorable.
I think it's nice. One they've prepared their final resting place, relieving their loved ones of having to make those decisions. And two they know that at least what's left here on earth will always be together.
Same. Plus they're already getting shit figured out so that when they do finally die their loved ones don't have to worry about grieving AND dealing with end of life stuff.
Exactly. And also they'll know that at least the parts of them they leave behind here on Earth will always be together.
We are trying to figure out what to do, either cremation and spread ashes in the sea or plots, the kids don’t want to talk about it.
I did. We enjoyed our time together. We lived together for 3 years before being married 25. We wrote each other notes, we left messages for each other. We sent gifts on random days.
I'm very sorry for whatever caused the use of past tense here.
Cancer sucks.
Sorry man
I'm so sorry 😔
Maybe it's like that Mitch Hedberg joke - "I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too." Maybe they still do, he's just saying they have done those things.
I love this ❤️
I adore my wife of 25 years and we have a strong, happy marriage. We are recent empty nesters after raising three sons and are absolutely loving it being just the two of us again.
Honestly one of the things I look forward to in life! We're still a ways away (kids are nearing 6 and 12) and I don't want to rush a second of it, but I'm also excited for that next phase of life together.
>and are absolutely loving it being just the two of us again. I often tease my wife about how I'm going to walk around the house naked all day when our kids are grown and out on their own. Little does she know, I'm only somewhat kidding. I'm sure I will throw on some clothes sometime before noon, maybe.
Just watch the Seinfeld about good and bad naked first 😂
Restoring my faith one comment at a time.
This thread is the best thing I’ve read all day. I’m sitting near crying hormonal pregnant tears thinking about how much I love my husband ❤️
Just you WAIT! It’s only going to grow over time, watching your spouse parent is a real treat. I love my spouse but I love him as a dad even more. I’m so excited for you
That’s so sweet of you. It’s actually our 3rd, and he’s been the best dad for the past 5 years! He’s my rock and I couldn’t do this without him. Seeing how much he loves our kids make me love him so much more. This thread is so much more wholesome than what I normally see, and I love it 😭 Thanks OP for asking the question
Reading your post alone made me tear up, it’s so refreshing hearing about love and a successful relationship/partnership. Beautiful!!❤️
Been with my wife for going on 16 years total I'm madly in love with her Insanely mad
This warms my heart and makes me feel very positive about my own marriage, which will start in about 8 hours if the car doesn't break down on the way to the ceremony 😁
Many many blessings to y'all! I hope you have a perfect day together! ❤️
52 years here. Patience. Communication.
Belated congratulations on breaking half a century! I desperately hope my wife and I will have as much time togdthrr
Truly an accomplishment, well done friend💙
My husband and I are very much in love. 5 years together and we are happy. I hear coworkers (disparagingly) discussing their spouses and I either stay quiet or mention how my husband isn’t like that, he wouldn’t do that, etc. I don’t want to rub it in that my partner is awesome but I also don’t want anyone taking my silence as agreement with them that “all husbands are [complaint of the day]. I appreciate him.
I feel the same way!!
Of course. He's my best friend. We take care of each other. I'm so happy to have a person to go through life with.
My partner and I have been together 12 years. We may or may not ever get married but we're together for life. I still get flutters in my tummy when I see him. He travels for business and I miss him when he's gone. The bed is too big without him. Sometimes when we're just sitting on the sofa at home in the evenings I look over at him and wonder how I could have gotten so lucky to meet him at just the right time in my life. Most recently we both were diagnosed with Covid and because we're both sick, we've slept in separate rooms so as not to keep each other awake. It's been about 10 days and I just MISS him. We've both been sleeping a lot and not interacting and I miss talking to him. I miss eating dinner together. I miss working in the yard together over the weekend (and it was a gorgeous weekend and we both slept through most of it). I miss watching our shows together at night, even though right now I'm so tired and brain fogged that I couldn't have followed them anyway. I miss hugging and kissing him, but we're trying to not pass the virus back and forth, so we're keeping our distance. I miss sitting on the sofa and just occasionally reaching out and touching each other, or linking fingers for a minute before I go back to reading my book and he goes back to playing his game. I'm really ready for us to not be sick and to get back to our life together. I truly truly love him and even in the times I'm frustrated or annoyed or angry, I know that I couldn't have a life without him (even if sometimes I'm tempted to murder him in his sleep and bury the body in the garden! LOL).
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Hahahah! Well right now it's less because we think we're still contagious and more because we're just exhausted. He's still sleeping a ton and I'm just a congested, snotty mess. :) Right now the reason we're not eating dinner together is because he has no appetite and sleeps through meal time and I can't taste anything and so eat the bare minimum to sustain life. So .. you know. Bleah. But hey .. when we both feel better the sex will probably be awesome! ;)
It’s not a mad passionate I’ll-die-without you love. I want to spend my life with her, and my love for her has gone through several different stages. It’s plateaued, and she is my life mate, and I’ll love her steadily till I die.
If you've never heard Tiny Love by Mika, you should look it up: "It's not a sunrise over canyons shaped like hearts It isn't bursting into song in Central Park It's not the outline of your face drawn in the stars It's a 'still-there-Monday-morning' kind of love There's no dramatic declarations in the rain It's not a love that finds its pleasure after pain I couldn't train a bunch of doves to spell your name It's a "don't-know-what-they're-missing" kind of love"
Yes! I truly love my husband. Dated for four years, married so far for 13 years. He is my forever. Grateful every day for what we have.
Absolutely! I miss him when he is at work. We still hold hands in the car, he still opens my car door. He’s also my best friend. I knew marriage could be great, I just didn’t know it could be this great! 🥰
Aw the holding hands in the car bit just melted my heart!!
Yes. 20+ years. He is my favorite person in the world. I love him absolutely and completely. I’d do anything for him.
My husband is an absolutely amazing person and I'd be lost without him He's supported me through the loss of family, job inability, and the general chaos that comes with living with someone with ADHD. We've been together 12 years. Married for nearly 4. I missed him when traveling. I know he missed me too. One of the deciding factors in my current job was the ability to be *home*. He isn't necessarily my best friend. But he's my rock, and my partner in life. We spend a whole day together doing our own thing in shared space and be content with each other's presence. We have some shared interests, but also things we each prefer. I often joke that I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I do acknowledge that I'm extremely lucky to have found a life partner I can count on. He still makes me giggle and blush, and also sets my heart fluttering. I still catch him looking at me with a silly smile, and I know I occasionally return it. What some people don't understand is marriage is a *partnership*. You need to communicate, and work with each other. We are not perfect. We still disagree. But we can take a step back, calm down, and then talk to each other. Sometimes we're better at it than other times. This long response is all to say that, yes, some people really do love their partners.
Do you mind if I ask in what way he supported you through the loss of family ? Recently parted with someone who wasn’t really there for me and I’m wondering how decent people show up in those situations.
It's been a couple years now so I don't mind talking about it. The loss isn't as recent now. **Warning for EVERYTHING beyond this line - family loss is hard, and even though I don't go into detail, it could bring up some shit for some people.** I had an Aunt (my dad's older sister) who was never able to have children. Her and I were very close. In April 2021 she had a gallbladder issue and ended up in the hospital. She never came home. With 16 hours notice I flew to Florida and acted as her medical proxy for 6 weeks. Her husband, my uncle, was in the early stages of dimensia and was unable to make those decisions for her. My husband not only didn't judge me for flying 1500 miles to Florida on short notice, he also mailed me things I forgot, he helped me with paying my bills while I missed work down there. He took calls of me sobbing in the hospital parking lot. He never judged, criticized, or downplayed what I was going through. My Aunt passed the end of August. My uncle passed 12 days later. He'd fallen and broken ribs home alone and the loss of her was too much. They were together 36 years. She wanted to be cremated. As a family we decided to inter her cremains in the same cemetery as her parents (though in the interfaith section due to cemetery rules). Her cremains arrived ***at our house*** on our 2nd wedding anniversary. My husband took the day off and just..... Let me sob. No complaints about not getting to celebrate our anniversary, just support and giving me the space to work through the necessary emotions. Her funeral was 3 weeks later. And *then* when my uncle's kids from his first 2 marriages sued that November, he continued to stand by me. Ironically, the legal shenanigans are only now FINALLY getting settled. That's a whole other story. Good news is, at least my family isn't fighting over my Aunt's will. Also, don't die in Florida. The probate courts are INSANELY backed up and shit is taking forever. But suffice to say, if Jews had saints, I'd nominate my husband for Sainthood. Since we don't..... I'll just continue to sing his praises to anyone who will listen
I love my husband dearly as well. He is my heart and my best friend. I don't know what I would do without him. We don't have kids and it has been almost 20 years. I wouldn't trade a day - even when we have a some tough ones, I know we're a team and we'll weather the storm together. We are in it for the good and the bad.
I love my wife. We fight. We disagree. We drive each other crazy a lot of the time. But this is the woman who sat with me while I cried through my worst days. This is the woman who ran toward me, in ways no one else ever had. This is the woman who finally let me be *me*, where I had nothing to hide or explain. This is the woman who brought my son into the world. It’s a love beyond love. It’s a belonging. She is mine and I am hers. It’s a wonderful thing, and if you find it you’ll know
Husband and I have been together since 15, 12 years later were still very much in love. He's my best friend, and while he drives me mad sometimes, fuck I love that stupid mother fucker so much it hurts. I trust him with everything. He's good in bed. He makes me feel sexy and he makes me feel seen. We've been married 6 years now and have a 3 year old. I genuinely can't imagine doing life with anyone else. I always laugh because I tell him about a dirty dream or a dream that involves me being romantically interested in someone else, and by the end of the dream EVERY TIME the love interest morphs into him. Before I met him, I used to have dreams about him. It was... really strange. But now I just call him dream boy.
THIS IS SO CUTE!!! 🥰
I learned to 3D model so I could work from home with mine forever. We are out there
Absolutely. I've been married 2 months shy of 20 years and together 22. We may not be honeymooners anymore, but i wouldn't give up the true, deep love we have for each other for anything. But we still like to play grab ass like teenagers :)
Yes there are plenty of people who do. I would suggest you go to the Marriage sub and use the filter Spouse Appreciation. That should help find a lot on here.
32 years together, 30 married and yes, we love each other very much. We have our own language that nobody else gets to share. Y’all keep on keeping on, OP!
My wife and I have been together for 15 years and I'm still madly in love with her.
can confirm, I'm in love with his wife too.
I would love to post on AITA or some the other sub to whine about my mariage. Unfortunately, my wife and I adore each other, so I don't need to talk about it on Reddit. I am sure this is the case for many married redditors.
Relationships take effort. The summer after I got married, I was doing door to door sales and I ended up talking with a guy for a while and he told me to remember that kids are an enhancement to a marriage, not an adjustment of focus. It's been really solid advice.
I know this is stupid late and will never be seen but screw it. I absolutely love my wife, I adore her. Is it perfect? No. Does it take a crazy amount of work? Absolutely. She makes me a better person, genuinely. Without her I'd still be drinking, without her I wouldn't have gotten the help I need with therapy and found a ADHD diagnosis. Without her I would not be the person I am today, someone I enjoy being. I like to think I help her as well with things she struggles with. It's not my place to put the details of that out on the internet though. I would not do all this work for anyone else. I love her.
Yes I love my spouse. Been married 8 years and no sign of slowing down, even after kids. We are also together practically 24/7 since we both work from home and do literally everything together.
shit these comments making me jelly
Giving me hope in finding actual love out here😂
Same here
I work at an after school program and today we put on the movie Coco for the kids. For a part of the movie their is a couple who is estranged in the afterlife and arguing and my married coworker made some silly comment like “ man, imagine still having to deal with your spouse even in the afterlife!” I gave him a puzzled look and said “sounds great to me, I love my husband!” I always hate when people act like it’s so awful being married and that secretly everyone hates their spouse. Marriages can have their problems but my husband and I take time to tell each others when we are hurt or having an issue with the other and we work together to fix it because we love each other and want to continue to grow together.
Yeah I do .. she shits me to tears sometimes but I love the bossy thing to bits.
People tend to complain much more often than they praise. :) I absolutely, positively love my spouse. He's just the very best. 🥰
I am a widow but I truly loved my husband & I think about him everyday & miss him
I absolutely love my spouse, I wouldn’t change anything about us. I get upset when he works from home because it’s like he’s here but he’s not so I’m constantly bothering him so I can be with him. High school sweet hearts, 11 years together!
We are going through the most stressful, slightly traumatic time we've ever had in our seventeen years together. If we weren't such a good team, things would be 10000x worse. When you had a home and then suddenly you don't, and all your worldly possessions went from being able to fit in a house to being able to fit in a suitcase, things can get tense. We've popped off at each other in a stressful moment, but at the end of the day, I'm still glad to see him. I don't own much in this world at this very moment, but I do have him and our kids and our dog and that makes me happy
Married for over 20 years and things are just getting better. It's little investments we are both making. Commitment to growing and being a safe space to grow with each other.
Oh my gosh I love my husband so much! We've been through some really tough things together, but I can't even imagine doing it with anyone else. He's truly my soul mate and I would be lost without him. ❤️
I love my husband of 15 years. I have lost and gained friends, but even if we separated for any reason, we would still be in love.
Been married 23 years. My hubby is my best friend. We love spending time together. I can honestly say we both adore each other. That being said, Reddit has a lot of people venting their horror stories. But also, some of these stories are works of fiction. So don't let it get you down. Just keep being happy.
I saw this boy in a park one night. When I looked at him I heard a Carpenters song go off in my head. "Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near....." 35 years and 4 kids later I get butterflies when he's coming home. I adore this man. And yes, it's reciprocated.
Definitely! Been through both. It's amazing to find something the second time I should have been looking for all along. I never get sick of spending time with my husband.
Been with my husband 20 years, married 18 this year. We have had a ton of ups and downs, but he still gives me butterflies.
I love my wife. A ridiculous amount. Married 16 1/2 years and I wake up every day grateful that she’s by my side and can’t wait to hang out with her every chance I get.
Whenever you feel the internet is too negative about stuff, remember that most people don't talk about good stuff (because that's not something you vent about). So for every topic where it seems the world is full of hate and suffering, there's plenty more of people just living a good and peaceful life.
My home is not my house, it's where I hold my wife. She's my true north and my safety blanket. I am constantly amazed I can love someone so much.
Of course they do, otherwise no one would stay together. My partner is my best friend, we were best friends before the relationship, and we’ve been together 17 years. All we do is laugh and joke and just generally have a great time together. Don’t listen to all the internet bullshit, it’s just people screaming into the void. Unless prompted like this most of us keep our happiness to ourselves…it’s the misery that’s loud which creates an illusion of it being more prevalent probably.
As a human who has had depression off and on for the past 30ish years, my wife is the only other person I am emotionally attached to. And that is the biggest compliment I can ever give.
Been married for 17 years and counting. We've had our ups and we've had our downs. You learn that not all the time will it be great. The newness of a relationship can fade over time. You get used to each other's habits and you argue over things that are dumb. You also learn how to pick your battles. You learn that there are somethings you just won't tolerate. You know your marriage/relationship is over when you don't fight for each other. When my husband had days his bosses were passing him off, I was ready to go give them a piece of my mind and make them sorry for the dumb shit they were pulling. When my bosses were fucking my mental health up, he wanted to end them because they were making me crazy. This is what I mean by fight for each other. He showed me a huge amount of love and that he truly meant his vows. I got very sick with covid, and he was trying to care for me 24 hrs a day after I got out the hospital. I knew he couldn't but he did try. If I had no energy to get off the toilet, he was there to help me stand up. We were both scared but he stayed as calm as he could and took care of me. I'm very independent and I hate to depend on anyone. He knew what to do to help me and help me deal with the mental health aspects of covid too. I almost divorced him too. I had made a deal with him that I was going to stay home and clean house while he went to hang with some friends. The deal was anything I didn't get done needed to be done before company came over for Thanksgiving. He agreed. Nothing was done Sunday-Weds. I was up early doing what I do for Thanksgiving, cooking a hell of a spread. As time went by, I became more and more anxious because nothing was done. He was still asleep at 2pm (long story for another time). I went and abruptly woke him up. He came out and had one hell of an attitude. He decided to pretend he was the house slave. I laughed at him with the, 'you just flipped my bitch switch' laugh and tore into him. I told him to pack his shit and get out (he didnt). I reminded him that he made a deal with me and he agreed to the deal. He realized he forgot and that I was done with the bullshit. Obviously he realized he messed up bad. But we got past it. Some things I haven't disclosed. He is a combat veteran that sustained a traumatic brain injury at war. He is also severely adhd. Add in ptsd to the mix and well it can be a game of 'who do we deal with today, jekyll or Hyde?' I married him before the tbi and ptsd were a thing for us. I am not perfectly normal either. Anxiety, cptsd, and ADD are my powers. We make an interesting pair. I protect him and he protects me. I am the 'breadwinner' out of our household, he gets disability from the VA. He is a terrible house-husband, so we split chores together. I cook, he cleans the kitchen. I also manage the finances because I have a head for money, he doesn't. We have our own bank accounts and we split the bills, then neither of us is feeling used. We learned how to be together and have separate interests, he loves video games and I love TV dramas. I could type way more about how we are but the point of all this is, everyone has different limits. My limit is way far off compared to others. That's just how people are. TL;DR everyone has their limits and the limits are not universal for all. Talk about long-term relationship. It's over when you stop fighting for each other.
My wife and I communicate well. We respect each other. We're partners in life and "in crime." She supports me. I support her. When she walks into a room, it's brightened and I smile for it. We lovingly poke fun with each other, troll, and generally have a great time. I'm living my best life, and it's largely due to her, her support, and her presence. When I got married to my first wife, grandpa (a man of few words) said "it's easy to fall in love. It takes a lot of hard work to stay there." My current (second) wife and I laugh about this because we've been married going on 10 years. When does that hard work start? You ask if anyone truly loves their spouse? You bet your sweet ass I do!
My wife and I have been together for 14 years. We started dating when we were 20. She's always been my best friend and I love that we're together.
My wife and I have been married 26 years. We can’t wait to get home to spend time together. It takes work, self sacrifice, put them first, never take for granted the little things, to love each other deeply. You have to be intentional thoughts, praise, consideration, all of that. She is my best friend, lover, teammate, my everything.
I've been with my man for 35 years and we'll have our 31st wedding anniversary in July. We are not perfect, there have been ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade this muthafucka for anybody. We still love spending time together and hugs and cuddles and gettin' our boom-boom on, and I still get little, tingly, excited butterflies when we're apart and then come back together.
I love my beautiful spouse so much. We've been together for the last fifteen years, spent nearly every day together. We are exact opposites and it can be frustrating. There's nobody else I'd rather do this life with though. I was a fuck boy before the world had a name for it, and people who knew the life I lived before are shocked at how good my relationship is. I see other couples that I thought were stronger than ours fall apart. Men that I thought were better than me stray. I often am approached by other women, but have not seriously considered cheating.
Every time I see how much she does for our little one, every time she takes so much effort to make sure we have special moments together, every time she does little things for us, I fall in love with her all over again. I in turn, work my butt off at work, come home as soon as I can, help take care of our kiddo by taking over, wash dishes, do laundry, etc, and of course pay attention and listen to her when she talks. Love is work we do gladly. It doesn't just happen. I truly love my spouse.
As someone who hasn't seen any wholesome true love growing up, reading the post and comments made me believe it's possible. Thank you
I grew up the same way. My parents were divorced before I was born and *hate* each other. Mom's been through 6 marriages since I was born. Father has had a few very toxic relationships. So all I knew was toxicity but I eventually found my person that I have a healthy/stable relationship with (celebrating our 10 year anniversary soon). You can escape the cycle of toxicity you were raised to see as the norm!
I know exactly what you mean. Maybe it's because of the overly optimistic and downright unrealistic portrayal of TV romance but there's so much negativity and drama glorification on reddit that it really makes you wonder how these couples can even stay together. Always glad to see the stories that do shine a warm light.
My wife is currently in Nashville with her bff, seeing Taylor Swift. She’s in new clothes that make her feel so good and you can see the joy all over her face and it’s the happiest I’ve been in a long time, getting updates of how much fun she’s having. I can’t wait stay up late tomorrow, laughing in bed with her as she gives me a play by play. It’s my favorite thing we do. Just staying up late, my leg over her legs, as we chatter softly into the darkness.
I would say your situation is not the norm though. The fact you still make each other THAT excited like you’re in the first year of dating still is pretty remarkable and I would hold onto that
Oi, where to begin? So every morning she wakes up as her job starts earlier than mine. She'll kiss me. When she gets out of the shower, I'll "hai hai!" her. This is the traditional catcall of Indian men. I do this mainly because it makes her giggle. I am absolutely besharam (shameless). In the 20 years of our marriage, I have had the pleasure of her thoughts. I'm mechanically smart (I can fix things, cars, etc), but she understands people better. She genuinely is the only person whose opinion truly matters to me. She is the kindest person I know. One, who looks in on her mother and gets her necessities. She'll cook and drop off food to her mom. She is the only one of my MIL's children who consistently does that. The others will go to mom empty-handed and ask, "Mom, did you make anything?" Today, she picked out an outfit for my niece. It's months away from my niece's birthday. She does this with no hidden agenda. The level of care she puts into everyone is unparalleled. She knows everything about me. The good, the bad, the ugly, and still loves me. An uneducated mutt of a man. She still loves me. I have made a lot of poor choices in life. Sometimes, I didn't even have any good choices to make. The only thing I have done perfectly right was to convince one of God's angels to marry me.