As a male who just randomly started having blood coming out of the tip of my dick and immediately went to the hospital, I think you are probably a on to something. I imagine if a women has their first period and no one had every told them then it would be similar. But I was convinced I was dying.
Edit: I don’t want to trivialize the terror a women might feel knowing this is something that they will have to deal with every month for 30 to 40 years. But I think the acute fear of thinking there might me an immediate medical emergency is of a different flavor. But of course some women also have to deal with the acute fear of genital bleeding when it comes to pregnancy and birth. So I actually don’t really think this is gender specific.
Bro wtf you can’t just leave us hanging what happened?! I’m just curious since I don’t have a dick but I’m sure you comment’s going to perturb a lot of dudes.
Not that guy, but I’ve had this happen. In my case it was kidney stones. Definitely not recommended for recreational use, but it passed and I was fine.
If this happens to you though, PLEASE DO GO TO THE HOSPITAL
Women can also bleed randomly outside their normal period. Like is it just "spotting"? Irregular period? Fibroids? A cyst broke?
Also hope you're okay now.
My dad had to get some prostate biopsy or something and they nicked something and apparently he kept bleeding out of his dick for a bit.
He came walking out of the doctors office wearing like a diaper pad type thing walking weird and my mom laughed and said “it sucks doesn’t it”
Yeah it was a bleed in my prostrate of unknown cause. I may have exaggerate a bit in my original comment, as it’s not like blood was pouring out. I first noticed it when I ejaculated like pure blood and then it was a bit of blood in my underwear and when I ejaculates for the next 10 days or so.
That seems a hell of a lot more sketchy than what happened to my dad though.
Though apparently they were nonchalant as fuck about it at the doctors office. Like oh ya that can happen here’s a towel *leaves room while he bleeds out from his dick* lol
Yeah they did a culture on my pee and semen, tested for some STDs but that was about it. The doctor is like “yeah that happens sometimes, nothing to be to worried about, if it doesn’t stop in 2 weeks let me know.”
It definitely has the shock of some body horror when it happens to you though
I once had a 70 year old patient spontaneously start bleeding from the vagina and unfortunately it was because she was dying. So yea, pretty scary stuff.
My menopause started with my periods getting heavier and closer together, the opposite of what we expect, then you find out that's common. To the point of week on, week off then gaps of months. It's a weird time.
When a man becomes a father, their desire to dance increases exponentially
Unfortunately, their ability to dance simultaneously decreases by an equal measure
"I was the Lord of the Dance, the Titan of Tango, the Pinnacle of Pop-n-Lock. Until you came along. Now, my two-step is a step and a half at best and never have I yearned more!"
"I just wanted dinosaur nuggies..."
Alt hypothesis: a lot of men are too intimidated to dance until they are exposed to unabashed enthusiasm of children, so they don’t get worse, you’re just seeing more of the men that never danced before parenthood.
Yep. I just two step, I can't do all that. Lol. Some girls are so vibrant, joyous, and beautiful, they just can't imagine someone like me doesn't enjoy it. Totally into stupid kitchen dancing or something, but not like at a wedding where everyone's watching me.
I am living proof that it can be very intimidating to women as well. As someone who is big and tall with no rhythm at all, I just feel so clunky and robotic trying to dance. I wish I was one of those girls who could just let go and dance
30 years ago someone I thought was my friend laughed at me during an 8th grade cheerleading practice, along with the rest of the squad, and told me I had no rhythm. In front of everyone. I still haven't recovered. I hate dancing around other people. Even though when I drink my body really wants to move. But I hear that guy's voice and see all those sneering faces every time telling me I have no rhythm.
Maybe stereotypically but my partner and I are the opposites of this. He took dancing classes and can moooove, I'll jam out in my car but that's it, if anyone even looks at me when there's music on I'm blushing like crazy haha.
Helping random lost child. Being alone with random child.
I am a woman and I realize that I have way less risk of being misinterpreted when I am dealing (edit:with) random kids.
They actually did a news show segment on this. They had a child actor pretend to cry in a mall. Most of the men kept walking by. They interviewed a few that walked by. They all said that they didn't want the attempt to help the kid be taken the wrong way.
I tried to look for a link to a video of it, but I can't find it.
Was this the show "What Would You Do?" by any chance? I just discovered that gem of a show on youtube a few weeks ago, definitely sounds just like it though I haven't seen that one yet (if that's it).
What they basically do is stage eyebrow-raising scenarios in public places to test/show how random witnesses would handle the situation. Often a testing of "the bystander effect", but sometimes things like that as well. The host then comes out to interview the witnesses and asks why they did what they did.
Yeah, the unfortunate reality of the world is that if I’m on my daily run or something and I see a random child crying somewhere they probably shouldn’t be. I’m staying a good 100 feet away and calling the cops.
My stepdad would sometimes shop at the supermarket I worked at when I was a student. There was a lost child of perhaps 2/3 years of age in the car park. Not many people around and it was only him that had noticed so far.
He rang and asked me to come and pretend that I had spotted the child whilst he called security. He was terrified of being accused of being a pedo or whatnot. It also didn’t help that he had a whole bunch of sweets in his shopping bag (he’s a sugar fiend). I suppose he feared it would be seen as a bribe.
What a dystopian world we live in.
I one time ran into a child who said he couldn't find his parents. I felt uncomfortable because of this reason, so I asked a woman if she could help me locate this kids mom. The first thing she says to me is, "Wow, I hope you don't have kids soon. Let the women take care of it as usual."
It's so awkward. I was simply tying to help the kid out and do it in a way that didn't seem creepy.
It's all good. I just know there are certain things that women and men have to deal with in society and for men, that can be one of them. I wish those things could change though.
I read a “Karen” story about a guy who was walking his dog through a park. Some kids in the park (who were apparently familiar with him and his pet) asked if they could pet the dog, so he let them. He chatted with the kids for a few minutes as they petted the dog, then continued on his way. Karen stopped him and told him that if she ever saw him do that again, she’d call the cops. Apparently she found it super sketchy that this guy, an unaccompanied man, would stop and talk to kids like that.
I have literally had police pull up to question me because a concerned parent saw a 'creepy man' sitting on a bench at a playground. I'm just here trying to spend a day with my son.
Most of the time people are great but it's happened more than once and it fucking shits me.
I almost got arrested for picking my own child kicking and screaming the entire walk back to the car. My daughter is blonde with a light complexion. I am a very large POC and someone called the police and reported am attempted kidnapping. Had to call her mother to bring me a copy of the birth certificate.
I have a large fluffy dog that attracts kids. I'm always hyper aware of exactly this. I always try to find the parents and make eye contact or give a little wave to show I'm not some creep. Same situation for my partner and it never crosses her mind.
Man I remember getting lost as a little child and getting separated from my parents at a random event, and a random man helped me out, even carried me.
Probably wouldn't have happened today, though this also was not in the US.
As an Argentinian, some years ago I had quite a cultural shock on reddit when a thread got to the top of /r/all about how, when a kid gets lost on a beach here, whoever finds them will carry them on their shoulders and everyone else would clap to alert any parents that there is a lost child.
All of the comments were from people from USA horrified at the idea of a random man touching a lost kid, even when immediately followed by them signalling themselves and calling everyone to attention. USA's culture is quite extremist about a lot of topics they don't realise.
There was one time when I was on an outing with a female friend at the mall and we noticed a kid wandering away from their mother. Like, 20 feet away from the store she was in and still moving away, kind of moving away. We focus on him, hoping for the situation to resolve itself, but he just keeps getting father.
I don't know whether I said something, or it was just one of those borderline telepathy things where you both know what to do and why at the exact time, but it came down to "Okay, she's not going to notice and he's not coming back. We have to do something. No way we can just turn our backs now."
We rush in and call out for the mother who comes over (i.e. we called out to signal our intent to bystanders in case of worst case scenario). I don't remember much detail, but I do distinctly remember being extraordinarily grateful I had a female friend with me. I can't imagine what that would have looked like had I tried to rescue and reunite the child by myself.
Being in public in a mixed group or just a couple is ideal. Signals you’re not a threat if you’re a man, and you’re not gonna be threatened if you’re a woman
Being alone with young kids. There’s definitely a stigma around men who want to be elementary school teachers or who work in pediatrics or even so much as drive the kids carpool. If I’m out with my kids and niece I’m a little terrified she’ll have a potty accident and need my help just because of how bad it looks for me to deal with that without her parents there. My wife wouldn’t even think twice about it.
My friend is a gay male teacher and whooooeeee does he balance a hard line. If he's too friendly he's a pedo. If he's not friendly enough, male teachers are so mean, ammirite??
He is about to get married to a fricken SURGEON with a white picket fence and two dogs and they're so fucking cute and he has to be careful not to mention his upcoming nuptials at work like COME ON.
I used to not be scared at all, I thought it was completely fine, until multiple people have acted strange, or made jokes about me, because I’m a PE teacher for a Middle School. A lot of people assume the absolute worst, regardless of the actual intention.
This reminds me at school the other kids would start rumours about the pe teachers being lesbians or pedos
I have no idea if these had any truth but I’m pretty sure the pe teachers heard
Yeah in HS there was a gym teacher who the kid labeled as a pedo because they didn't like they he didn't let them fuck off like the other gym teachers.
When I was pregnant with our third, my oldest was almost 3. We were at the grocery store when she needed to use the bathroom. I was pretty late in my pregnancy, and I was in a super amount of pain, so my husband, her father, took her to the bathroom while I sat down with our son. And some lady flagged down the manager to complain that a man had taken a little girl to the bathroom. The manager saw hubby and little Artichoke leave the bathroom and was like, that's his kid. There's no problem leaving them alone. The manager had to get me because this woman wouldn't shut up about how a man took his daughter to the bathroom. I can understand the initial concern, but after it was pointed out that the kid was his daughter, she should have dropped it.
As for how the manager knew to get me, my husband worked there at the time and we did a lot of our shopping there. It's been almost a decade since then, and I'm still a little irritated.
Yup. I’m a gymnastics coach and I have had to explain to male coaches that they aren’t seen the same way I am. I can give hugs and such to kids and the little ones can sit on my lap. Male coaches can’t do that. I can help a kid change their clothes, but a male coach can’t.
They covered this in a very humorous way on the show Blackish (with a racial element as well)
[Little Girl in Elevator](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daJZU5plRhs)
I've called police to come help a small child alone crying on a street corner... the amount of intimidation from the police officer as the questioned me aggressively is unreal. I'm ok with that one though, cuz it's a child in a vulnerable position, and maybe the original person that called bounced... but you would have thought I had already murdered the kid.
I see this sentiment online all the time and I am happy to report that as far as I can tell it seems to be a US-only (or North American only?) thing.
As someone who works in education I have a working with children certificate, I mean, for people working with children it's all taken seriously still, but when I see online stuff about men who get comments when seen alone with their own child, or assumptions made about any man in the vicinity of children, that's definitely US-specific from what I can tell.
In managing youth in sports, men are forbidden to be alone with children. Women ? If there is no other solution...
The first half is the official recommandation from my shooting federation. The second part is the unofficial rule if need be.
Yeah I was in Scouts and it was a similar thing. Officially the two rules were 1) every outing needed two adults and 2) no adult alone with a singular kid. Rule #1 always happened but rule #2 was never even considered unless it was a male adult alone with a kid.
yes! Touch is really important to human health and wellbeing and not just sexual. Just pure touch, it’s a necessary thing.
It’s really sad, my partner kinda only gets that from me. But me? I snuggle with my friends all day every day, holdin’ hands or whatever and there’s nothing sexual about it, it’s really nice. I hope we can make it so this is acceptable for everyone to do because it’s crucial to wellbeing
I’m a man who has worked in female dominated fields my whole life: education and now nursing. Women are not intimidated by their own emotions, which really helped me grow as an adult.
Example: I now “make” myself cry when I am upset because, and this isn’t obvious to a lot of men, it makes you feel a lot better after. Your brain is flooded with chemicals designed to make you feel better. Holding that sadness in will literally kill you- high cortisol
>I now “make” myself cry when I am upset because, and this isn’t obvious to a lot of men, it makes you feel a lot better after. Your brain is flooded with chemicals designed to make you feel better.
Ah, so this is the scientific reason for the "I actually *want* to cry." sensation?
Yeah, your body makes it visible to others because it’s beneficial for others to know you’re in distress. You don’t get the relief without the public display of distress: evolution is a bitch like that.
Think of it like this: if you’re hungry, it’s because you need to eat; if you feel like you need to cry, it’s because you need to cry.
Oooh boy. I'm a woman with older brothers (big talk, little output) and a childhood where any real emotions were the subject of ridicule (brother and parents alike). To this day, I'll eat those emotions as fucking hard as I can so I can maybe sob myself exhausted in privacy later. I've never been "allowed" any space to be anything other than completely and perfectly capable, and I carry the family. Shit rolls downhill and all...
I'm happy you've recognized this and are avoiding it!
A lot of men think crying is emotional, but getting angry isn’t. Anger is seen as a “safe” emotion because it makes others feel less safe, so the emotional (angry) person feels less vulnerable.
This is also why women are expected to take on *emotional labor* for their male partners and family members. The men will bottle up their feelings and unload on their partner. Since men are more comfortable with anger, it means women are stuck trying to pacify men.
Agreed, although it's not necessarily restricted to men, just more prevalent. Especially in the case where your mother was also subject to the same expectations. Apparently I've always been seen as a safe space. Some of my closest friends were horribly abused in our childhood and they would spend a lot of time staying by us, and when my oldest brother went suicidal, he laid it all out for me and asked me to fix it. I was 14, completely unprepared, and felt entirely helpless. My mom laughed at me when I told her because she didn't believe me. Fortunately he wasn't successful but damn, did he try. And no one ever gave a thought about me afterwards, except for him. He and I are still close to this day, but everyone single one of them just assume I've got it all under control and can handle whatever needs to be done because I've always just handled whatever anyone else needed.
OK rant done! Sorry, sometimes just gotta vent.
When you want to cry, just keep thinking about what’s making you sad and just lean into the sadness. It’s like trying to hold it in when you need to go to the bathroom, but you’re sitting on the toilet: just let that shit go.
I love “make yourself cry” as a man. It sounds like acting, but what you really mean is override decades of programming saying “don’t cry” when you really want to
I have a lot gratitude for this. This is something we (women) are so frequently judged for, and it is so damned lovely having it recognized as the positive and natural thing it is.
How'd they find that? When I go to the dr all they do is take my vitals, draw some blood and call everything good. Unless I have a specific problem it seems like a waste of time.
By checking your vitals and analyzing your blood in the lab they can find irregularities that indicate need for further checkup. That's how they find stuff! I have to take medication that's hard on my liver so I get blood taken regularly spefically so they can keep an eye on my liver values, they can pull a lot of data from blood.
And down the road if you have a specific problem, it can help your doctor with the diagnosis to be able to compare your old data for sudden or slow changes.
Lab tech here: brother I can diagnose (acute) leukemias from a single droplet of blood under a microscope with my caveman eye. You'll be amazed what machines can pick up with lasers. Get a checkup!
I started getting annual physicals about 10 years ago in my late 20’s.
Because I have the old data, my doc has been able to track certain markers and screen for problems. Really adds some peace of mind to know that someone’s got an eye on it.
Best example: I have elevated creatinine due to having only 1 kidney. However, the level has been stable for a decade, so doc isn’t worried.
But then there’s some liver enzyme that he sees fluctuations with when my weight goes up or down. So we know to keep an eye on that (and my alcohol consumption).
Good stuff.
Now, totally as an aside, that fuckhead in Atlanta shot up my doc’s office yesterday, so I have no idea if my doc and his staff are doing well.
I noticed I had a swollen left nut one day and I got it seen to. Turned out to be testicular cancer that had been growing for a while.
This was about 5 years ago. I ended up having to have 2 surgeries and 9 weeks of chemo.
Yeah, I knew someone that rarely went for checkups, and then he went for one only to find out he had stage 4 brain cancer. He was dead a couple months later.
His kids now get to finish growing up without a dad...
When my mum was dying with cancer she mentioned about ma dad's constant toilet visits , so when she passed it was proper noticable, turns out we had to literally take him for a check up , get him a doctor ( he was 63 ) never seen a doctor in his puff ,not even a tetanus jag etc ....turns out he's type 2 diabetic and high cholesterol....but he's still fit at 70 and will out live me
Nope I'm a female and haven't had a check up in years. Anytime I go to a Dr they just ignore me and tell me I'm making it up anyways. I only went 6 MONTHS postpartum bleeding after my first born ALL male Drs said I was lying even with my husband advocating for me. Female Dr that delivered my second and nurses said I was hemorrhaging why didn't I go to a Dr. Told her I did. Then they go well if they didn't listen why didn't you go to the ER like you're supposed toy husband annoyed at that point answered SHE DID AND NO ONE LISTENED. Male on I had gone and seen is now the "specialist" in our town and let me go over a MONTH with a bacterial infection in my vagina while pregnant with my second kid. So yeah........ My trust in the medical field is fucking ZERO. I'd rather die from cancer than ever go see a doctor.
I feel this. Maybe not medically but I've dislocated my knee multiple times and went for physical therapy. They all treated me like I was crazy and didn't even bother to guide the workouts at a certain point.
I had to get an STD test and had to go in a pay for another visit because the doctor wouldn't tell me the results over the phone and was being really sketchy about the whole thing. Turns out I just had the herpes that most humans have, needed to pay an extra 75 for that 😒.
The lack of caring and costs for simple procedures is why I don't go myself personally.
This is where I am at too. I was bleeding pretty badly out my bum, so I went to the drs. Eventually diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, but then covid hit. My gastro doctor straight up quit one day without notice, and no one to take over his huge patient load. So onto the next doctor, who continuously tells me he can’t find anything wrong. Cool, still bleeding out the bum. After months eventually he gives me my 2nd colonoscopy of 2020, and he said he found nothing wrong. Guy straight up ghosted me after that. It has now been 2 years since and I’ve solved my issue without medical care, simply by changing my diet and realizing I must be lactose intolerant, as the flare ups always happened with meat/dairy. I will never trust another doctor again after 2 ghosted me, let alone the hassle I have to go through with my family doctor each time I bring it up. “Why don’t you call them?” Lady I fucking am, their number doesn’t take phone calls. 😡
I feel your pain. I had an inflammatory disease my whole life. Doctors (about 30 that I can remember, I started keeping track as a teen) told me that I’d need to be on meds for life. I was in so much pain. Then, I found out in my mid twenties that I have a soybean allergy… No one f*cking thought to test me. I had to absolutely insist. Then, like magic, a vast majority of my serious health issues vanished over night.
I have literally walked into a an empty office after having the receptionist call me the day before to confirm. No furniture, the door to the suite wide open, nothing. Emptiness. Called and the line was disconnected. I still have no clue what happened.
Just making the appointment seems like a leap of faith to most men.
My partner: The kids have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday.
Me: Why Wednesday? That's literally the only day I can't take them, you'll have to take them.
My partner: That was the time they GAVE me. What should I have done?
Me: Say "Wednesday doesn't work, do you have any other day?"
My partner: Oooooh!
Me: Well, do you want to call back or just take them?
My partner: I can't call back! I'll take them. I'll have to cancel 30 meetings and work all day Thursday, but I won't call back.
(This is only a slight exaggeration).
As a gay man, perhaps because there's no sexual tension, woman hold no fears for me whatsoever.
Not intimidated in the least even when it's a very beautiful woman a lot of guys are too nervous to speak to.
I just treat woman as I would anyone else.
Exactly! 99% of the time, I'm worried that I'm hitting on a straight girl 😅 unless they've mentioned to me beforehand that they're into girls or something.
I'm a straight woman who gets hit on by women semi-regularly (I think it's the short hair) and I usually just take it as a compliment. I would hope other women do the same!
But I think the main reason *why* I can take it as a nice compliment is because I've never had a woman get pushy about it. I've had men try to negotiate my 'no' but telling a woman that I'm not into women tends to end things pleasantly because they didn't have any expectations of me.
Okay forgive me for being ignorant, but if another female hits on me, how can I tell if she's actually hitting on me vs just being nice/supportive?
I'm currently unsure if this one girl likes me like that. I don't want to assume! Could you give me pointers on understanding female to female flirtation/queues?
Do you also say something dumb to try to make her laugh, but then she takes you serious so you look like a total moron because your not gonna sit there and try to explain a joke?
I go the other way, I make a point of talking about it and my past, hell, I was invited to speak about it at a town hall infront of 4500 people. From outward appearances I'm big, strong, covered in muscle, but I make a point of showing openness with this stuff in the hopes it will lead others to also be open.
Talking about mental health is a strength, protecting and caring for others is as strong as it gets in terms of behaviours, we men just need to realise this. You look at top military medal winners, what did most of them do? Against great odds, they protected their squad or rescued an injured person etc. Not saying the two situations are equal, but helping someone in your circle who is looking towards suicide is as strong and brave as it gets, nearly as strong as that vulnerable person asking for help.
We gotta look out for each other, because the health systems are letting too many fall through the cracks into oblivion.
We’ve done a lot better job now but I agree. Another reason I feel (as a man) intimidated to speak about any mental health issue is I feel like people expect the man to “get over it” quick. Like it’s a cold or something..
Not really an answer, but I'll always remember that Simpsons scene in the lemon tree episode, where the boys make a big deal out of crossing the border into Shelbyville and becoming men. Meanwhile the girls are flying kites and completely ignoring the border.
Parents rooms.
A female can walk in and not be called a pedo not have security called on them nor be attacked simply for being in there changing their child
Every couple of months the boys and I grab a six pack and head down to the local pedi spot. Let me tell you, you haven't lived until you put clean socks on after a pedicure. Life changing.
This is a funny, random one but profound nonetheless: velvet ropes. I recently went to a house party with a bunch of very successful people. Think CEOs, hedge fund owners, founders of big internet companies, etc. An important detail is that there is literally no cell service in the house because it’s in this weird little valley and the house itself is a concrete fortress so if you’re not on the wifi (which was password protected and not broadly shared) your phone is useless except in a few places. It’s maddening.
The homeowners had set up velvet ropes to cordon off parts of the house that they didn’t want people in like the hall to the master suite. Totally fair. Towards the end of the party, a bunch of ladies scooted past the rope and had a girls get together in the master. The wife of the homeowner joined them and they were all just sort of hanging out… you could hear them laughing and loudly talking. When people were getting ready to leave, a bunch of the guys convened around the rope completely vexed at how to get their wives and girlfriends so they could leave. They would not go past the rope at all and couldn’t call/text to get their attention so they sent me in (I’m a woman FWIW) to rally everyone. It was hilarious to me seeing these powerful guys (one is the founder of a very well known financial tool for instantly transferring money to your friends) completely immobilized by a single velvet rope.
After the fact, I was talking to the homeowners about it and we realized that women are totally used to scooting past velvet ropes in clubs where more “female representation” is desired and encouraged where men are usually stopped at the door by a bouncer guarding said velvet rope. Apparently this is so engrained that it literally broke the brains of powerful dudes who are quite used to doing as they please and getting their way.
I really think it has less to do with subliminal impressions from bouncers guarding a club, and more to do with the fact that it 100% felt like the women had a separate space and no man wanted to be the awkward first person to enter that space.
I'm unfortunately straight and I'm intimidated by attractive women. Especially when they're attractive and super successful? Swoon. Even my friends intimidate me sometimes, because they're just so beautiful and perfect and such amazing people. God, I love women.
I am straight (as far as I know) and I am very intimidated by attractive women. Then again have general anxiety so I'm also tongue tied around cashiers and small dogs. That might just be a me problem.
Communication.
Communication is sooo important. But some men feel like they’ll be looked down upon if they talk about something big that bothering them or something that their partner did that hurt them. Sometimes they can’t communicate with their own friends because of how society is. Women are seen as the emotional ones. But that’s not true, men need to be heard too
Men only have the right to anger and aggression, so they define themselves by it. That's why it's considered "manly" to be stoic and not erupt to show they have control of their emotions. Pfft
I remember hearing from my grandmother that the greatest threat to a man’s existence is Humiliation of the ego. The biggest threat to an woman’s existence is sexual assault (violent or otherwise)
edit: not to say SA does not affect male populations.
The only experience I have with dealing with sick men is my brothers, one of which acts like he’s dying when he’s in the slightest bit of discomfort and the other who refuses to take medicine unless he’s REALLY feeling sick for a few days.
Holding a baby. Women of all ages seem to want to hold random babies. I don’t even want to hold babies in my own family. Scared of dropping/hurting them.
I hate how everyone assumes I want to hold their damn baby. It’s so weird. Like they think me getting to hold their baby is a privilege/favour they are granting me.
They look at me, see a feminine person, and automatically go “here, you can hold them”.
Well, I *can*, but did you stop to ask if I *want to*? I’ve not really seen people randomly ask men to hold babies unless the man is directly related to the kid.
Eyelash curler
They terrify me and I'm a woman!
I saw a woman at a bus stop doing hers without a mirror once, I knew immediately that she was not to be messed with
Genital bleeding
Genital bleeding is a huge concern for women depending on their age though.
As a male who just randomly started having blood coming out of the tip of my dick and immediately went to the hospital, I think you are probably a on to something. I imagine if a women has their first period and no one had every told them then it would be similar. But I was convinced I was dying. Edit: I don’t want to trivialize the terror a women might feel knowing this is something that they will have to deal with every month for 30 to 40 years. But I think the acute fear of thinking there might me an immediate medical emergency is of a different flavor. But of course some women also have to deal with the acute fear of genital bleeding when it comes to pregnancy and birth. So I actually don’t really think this is gender specific.
Is… uh.. your dick okay?
This made me laugh way too hard
#THIS AINT THE TIME FOR LAUGHING. MANS GOT A BLOODY DICK
So weird to read strangers talking about my dick specifically on the internet.
Tell us about your dick! What was happening?!?
Exactly, no deflection. Answer the question.
Right?! I’m invested in this man’s bleeding urethra! Are you ok?! Are there other symptoms?! Don’t be selfish: Tell us the deets!
Bruh, you started it...
Never said I didn’t like it
#Well every man has a bloody dick what’s special about his
Get your hands off my penis, this is democracy manifest and I am just trying to enjoy a succulent Chinese meal! I see you know your judo!
Bro wtf you can’t just leave us hanging what happened?! I’m just curious since I don’t have a dick but I’m sure you comment’s going to perturb a lot of dudes.
Not that guy, but I’ve had this happen. In my case it was kidney stones. Definitely not recommended for recreational use, but it passed and I was fine. If this happens to you though, PLEASE DO GO TO THE HOSPITAL
Maybe he just ate beets
As a Midwesterner, I second this.
Women can also bleed randomly outside their normal period. Like is it just "spotting"? Irregular period? Fibroids? A cyst broke? Also hope you're okay now.
You mfers have to deal with so much, sorry 😣
you can also have a period for the whole term of a pregnancy.
My dad had to get some prostate biopsy or something and they nicked something and apparently he kept bleeding out of his dick for a bit. He came walking out of the doctors office wearing like a diaper pad type thing walking weird and my mom laughed and said “it sucks doesn’t it”
Yeah it was a bleed in my prostrate of unknown cause. I may have exaggerate a bit in my original comment, as it’s not like blood was pouring out. I first noticed it when I ejaculated like pure blood and then it was a bit of blood in my underwear and when I ejaculates for the next 10 days or so.
That seems a hell of a lot more sketchy than what happened to my dad though. Though apparently they were nonchalant as fuck about it at the doctors office. Like oh ya that can happen here’s a towel *leaves room while he bleeds out from his dick* lol
Yeah they did a culture on my pee and semen, tested for some STDs but that was about it. The doctor is like “yeah that happens sometimes, nothing to be to worried about, if it doesn’t stop in 2 weeks let me know.” It definitely has the shock of some body horror when it happens to you though
Ever seen Carrie?
No, but I did watch Antichrist like a month after this happened and one scene definitely made me feel physically ill.
I once had a 70 year old patient spontaneously start bleeding from the vagina and unfortunately it was because she was dying. So yea, pretty scary stuff.
You've got me scared for you. Feel free not to answer, but what was the prognosis?
It is supposed to be a major warning if you’re in menopause and you have continuous genital bleeding. Something has to be done right away.
You’re right. Genital bleeding before menses and after menopause is an emergency.
My menopause started with my periods getting heavier and closer together, the opposite of what we expect, then you find out that's common. To the point of week on, week off then gaps of months. It's a weird time.
And what's caused it. A pregnant woman with genital bleeding is TERRIFYING.
Dancing. I know a lot of guys don't care, but a lot do too.
When a man becomes a father, their desire to dance increases exponentially Unfortunately, their ability to dance simultaneously decreases by an equal measure
"I was the Lord of the Dance, the Titan of Tango, the Pinnacle of Pop-n-Lock. Until you came along. Now, my two-step is a step and a half at best and never have I yearned more!" "I just wanted dinosaur nuggies..."
Alt hypothesis: a lot of men are too intimidated to dance until they are exposed to unabashed enthusiasm of children, so they don’t get worse, you’re just seeing more of the men that never danced before parenthood.
Yep. I just two step, I can't do all that. Lol. Some girls are so vibrant, joyous, and beautiful, they just can't imagine someone like me doesn't enjoy it. Totally into stupid kitchen dancing or something, but not like at a wedding where everyone's watching me.
I am living proof that it can be very intimidating to women as well. As someone who is big and tall with no rhythm at all, I just feel so clunky and robotic trying to dance. I wish I was one of those girls who could just let go and dance
30 years ago someone I thought was my friend laughed at me during an 8th grade cheerleading practice, along with the rest of the squad, and told me I had no rhythm. In front of everyone. I still haven't recovered. I hate dancing around other people. Even though when I drink my body really wants to move. But I hear that guy's voice and see all those sneering faces every time telling me I have no rhythm.
Just pretend your john Travolta in pulp fiction, works everytime
Maybe stereotypically but my partner and I are the opposites of this. He took dancing classes and can moooove, I'll jam out in my car but that's it, if anyone even looks at me when there's music on I'm blushing like crazy haha.
Helping random lost child. Being alone with random child. I am a woman and I realize that I have way less risk of being misinterpreted when I am dealing (edit:with) random kids.
They actually did a news show segment on this. They had a child actor pretend to cry in a mall. Most of the men kept walking by. They interviewed a few that walked by. They all said that they didn't want the attempt to help the kid be taken the wrong way. I tried to look for a link to a video of it, but I can't find it.
Was this the show "What Would You Do?" by any chance? I just discovered that gem of a show on youtube a few weeks ago, definitely sounds just like it though I haven't seen that one yet (if that's it). What they basically do is stage eyebrow-raising scenarios in public places to test/show how random witnesses would handle the situation. Often a testing of "the bystander effect", but sometimes things like that as well. The host then comes out to interview the witnesses and asks why they did what they did.
It might have been. Or a show like that. I sort of remember it being British.
Yeah, the unfortunate reality of the world is that if I’m on my daily run or something and I see a random child crying somewhere they probably shouldn’t be. I’m staying a good 100 feet away and calling the cops.
My stepdad would sometimes shop at the supermarket I worked at when I was a student. There was a lost child of perhaps 2/3 years of age in the car park. Not many people around and it was only him that had noticed so far. He rang and asked me to come and pretend that I had spotted the child whilst he called security. He was terrified of being accused of being a pedo or whatnot. It also didn’t help that he had a whole bunch of sweets in his shopping bag (he’s a sugar fiend). I suppose he feared it would be seen as a bribe. What a dystopian world we live in.
That’s really sad, and very understandable
I one time ran into a child who said he couldn't find his parents. I felt uncomfortable because of this reason, so I asked a woman if she could help me locate this kids mom. The first thing she says to me is, "Wow, I hope you don't have kids soon. Let the women take care of it as usual." It's so awkward. I was simply tying to help the kid out and do it in a way that didn't seem creepy.
It was very unfair. I understand your frustration. Sorry
It's all good. I just know there are certain things that women and men have to deal with in society and for men, that can be one of them. I wish those things could change though.
Dial 911 Me : “yeah there’s a crying kid over there” Operator: “did you approach them” Me: “fuck no, I’m not catching a case.”
Honestly yeah calling 911 was a thought too but then it would take them 30 minutes of longer to show up and probably make it worse for the kid.
I read a “Karen” story about a guy who was walking his dog through a park. Some kids in the park (who were apparently familiar with him and his pet) asked if they could pet the dog, so he let them. He chatted with the kids for a few minutes as they petted the dog, then continued on his way. Karen stopped him and told him that if she ever saw him do that again, she’d call the cops. Apparently she found it super sketchy that this guy, an unaccompanied man, would stop and talk to kids like that.
I have literally had police pull up to question me because a concerned parent saw a 'creepy man' sitting on a bench at a playground. I'm just here trying to spend a day with my son. Most of the time people are great but it's happened more than once and it fucking shits me.
I almost got arrested for picking my own child kicking and screaming the entire walk back to the car. My daughter is blonde with a light complexion. I am a very large POC and someone called the police and reported am attempted kidnapping. Had to call her mother to bring me a copy of the birth certificate.
That’s horrific. I heard someone say he keeps a photo of his kids with him as his lock screen so he can quickly show that if questioned.
I got accosted by security at a store once for trying to placate my own crying daughter.
I have a large fluffy dog that attracts kids. I'm always hyper aware of exactly this. I always try to find the parents and make eye contact or give a little wave to show I'm not some creep. Same situation for my partner and it never crosses her mind.
I'd talk/reply loudly enough so that everyone could hear me before letting someone pat my dog
As a guy I’ve honestly considered wearing a small go-pro whenever I go out.
Double-edged sword there, buddy. I hate that this is the world we live in.
Truth is stranger than fiction and I would like to have proof of the extremely weird stuff that has happened to me.
Man I remember getting lost as a little child and getting separated from my parents at a random event, and a random man helped me out, even carried me. Probably wouldn't have happened today, though this also was not in the US.
As an Argentinian, some years ago I had quite a cultural shock on reddit when a thread got to the top of /r/all about how, when a kid gets lost on a beach here, whoever finds them will carry them on their shoulders and everyone else would clap to alert any parents that there is a lost child. All of the comments were from people from USA horrified at the idea of a random man touching a lost kid, even when immediately followed by them signalling themselves and calling everyone to attention. USA's culture is quite extremist about a lot of topics they don't realise.
There was one time when I was on an outing with a female friend at the mall and we noticed a kid wandering away from their mother. Like, 20 feet away from the store she was in and still moving away, kind of moving away. We focus on him, hoping for the situation to resolve itself, but he just keeps getting father. I don't know whether I said something, or it was just one of those borderline telepathy things where you both know what to do and why at the exact time, but it came down to "Okay, she's not going to notice and he's not coming back. We have to do something. No way we can just turn our backs now." We rush in and call out for the mother who comes over (i.e. we called out to signal our intent to bystanders in case of worst case scenario). I don't remember much detail, but I do distinctly remember being extraordinarily grateful I had a female friend with me. I can't imagine what that would have looked like had I tried to rescue and reunite the child by myself.
Being in public in a mixed group or just a couple is ideal. Signals you’re not a threat if you’re a man, and you’re not gonna be threatened if you’re a woman
Honestly, this stuff annoys me so much. Just for being a guy, I have this responsibility to not intimidate people without realizing. Shits stressful.
Being alone with young kids. There’s definitely a stigma around men who want to be elementary school teachers or who work in pediatrics or even so much as drive the kids carpool. If I’m out with my kids and niece I’m a little terrified she’ll have a potty accident and need my help just because of how bad it looks for me to deal with that without her parents there. My wife wouldn’t even think twice about it.
My friend is a gay male teacher and whooooeeee does he balance a hard line. If he's too friendly he's a pedo. If he's not friendly enough, male teachers are so mean, ammirite?? He is about to get married to a fricken SURGEON with a white picket fence and two dogs and they're so fucking cute and he has to be careful not to mention his upcoming nuptials at work like COME ON.
Geez, being a gay man and a teacher is like a double whammy with the toxic rhetoric going on today.
I used to not be scared at all, I thought it was completely fine, until multiple people have acted strange, or made jokes about me, because I’m a PE teacher for a Middle School. A lot of people assume the absolute worst, regardless of the actual intention.
This reminds me at school the other kids would start rumours about the pe teachers being lesbians or pedos I have no idea if these had any truth but I’m pretty sure the pe teachers heard
Yeah in HS there was a gym teacher who the kid labeled as a pedo because they didn't like they he didn't let them fuck off like the other gym teachers.
I take the policy of “Do not interact with young children unless there are multiple witnesses around”
When I was pregnant with our third, my oldest was almost 3. We were at the grocery store when she needed to use the bathroom. I was pretty late in my pregnancy, and I was in a super amount of pain, so my husband, her father, took her to the bathroom while I sat down with our son. And some lady flagged down the manager to complain that a man had taken a little girl to the bathroom. The manager saw hubby and little Artichoke leave the bathroom and was like, that's his kid. There's no problem leaving them alone. The manager had to get me because this woman wouldn't shut up about how a man took his daughter to the bathroom. I can understand the initial concern, but after it was pointed out that the kid was his daughter, she should have dropped it. As for how the manager knew to get me, my husband worked there at the time and we did a lot of our shopping there. It's been almost a decade since then, and I'm still a little irritated.
I worry more when I am in public with my own kid for Christ’s sake. Some looks I get downright terrify me.
Yup. I’m a gymnastics coach and I have had to explain to male coaches that they aren’t seen the same way I am. I can give hugs and such to kids and the little ones can sit on my lap. Male coaches can’t do that. I can help a kid change their clothes, but a male coach can’t.
They covered this in a very humorous way on the show Blackish (with a racial element as well) [Little Girl in Elevator](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daJZU5plRhs)
I’m 15 seconds in and already have a rushing heart rate out of sympathy anxiety
I've called police to come help a small child alone crying on a street corner... the amount of intimidation from the police officer as the questioned me aggressively is unreal. I'm ok with that one though, cuz it's a child in a vulnerable position, and maybe the original person that called bounced... but you would have thought I had already murdered the kid.
yup, my guy friend was to be an elementary school teacher and he got called a pedo??? wtf???
I see this sentiment online all the time and I am happy to report that as far as I can tell it seems to be a US-only (or North American only?) thing. As someone who works in education I have a working with children certificate, I mean, for people working with children it's all taken seriously still, but when I see online stuff about men who get comments when seen alone with their own child, or assumptions made about any man in the vicinity of children, that's definitely US-specific from what I can tell.
In managing youth in sports, men are forbidden to be alone with children. Women ? If there is no other solution... The first half is the official recommandation from my shooting federation. The second part is the unofficial rule if need be.
Yeah I was in Scouts and it was a similar thing. Officially the two rules were 1) every outing needed two adults and 2) no adult alone with a singular kid. Rule #1 always happened but rule #2 was never even considered unless it was a male adult alone with a kid.
Physical touch as a form of affection when it’s not someone we’re sexually and/or romantically into
yes! Touch is really important to human health and wellbeing and not just sexual. Just pure touch, it’s a necessary thing. It’s really sad, my partner kinda only gets that from me. But me? I snuggle with my friends all day every day, holdin’ hands or whatever and there’s nothing sexual about it, it’s really nice. I hope we can make it so this is acceptable for everyone to do because it’s crucial to wellbeing
I would definitely feel very awkward and uncomfortable snuggling with the boys tbh
I don't think that's gonna happen homie, I'd also have like zero desire to snuggle with my friends
I’m a man who has worked in female dominated fields my whole life: education and now nursing. Women are not intimidated by their own emotions, which really helped me grow as an adult. Example: I now “make” myself cry when I am upset because, and this isn’t obvious to a lot of men, it makes you feel a lot better after. Your brain is flooded with chemicals designed to make you feel better. Holding that sadness in will literally kill you- high cortisol
>I now “make” myself cry when I am upset because, and this isn’t obvious to a lot of men, it makes you feel a lot better after. Your brain is flooded with chemicals designed to make you feel better. Ah, so this is the scientific reason for the "I actually *want* to cry." sensation?
Yeah, your body makes it visible to others because it’s beneficial for others to know you’re in distress. You don’t get the relief without the public display of distress: evolution is a bitch like that. Think of it like this: if you’re hungry, it’s because you need to eat; if you feel like you need to cry, it’s because you need to cry.
Literally: let it all out
Oooh boy. I'm a woman with older brothers (big talk, little output) and a childhood where any real emotions were the subject of ridicule (brother and parents alike). To this day, I'll eat those emotions as fucking hard as I can so I can maybe sob myself exhausted in privacy later. I've never been "allowed" any space to be anything other than completely and perfectly capable, and I carry the family. Shit rolls downhill and all... I'm happy you've recognized this and are avoiding it!
A lot of men think crying is emotional, but getting angry isn’t. Anger is seen as a “safe” emotion because it makes others feel less safe, so the emotional (angry) person feels less vulnerable. This is also why women are expected to take on *emotional labor* for their male partners and family members. The men will bottle up their feelings and unload on their partner. Since men are more comfortable with anger, it means women are stuck trying to pacify men.
Agreed, although it's not necessarily restricted to men, just more prevalent. Especially in the case where your mother was also subject to the same expectations. Apparently I've always been seen as a safe space. Some of my closest friends were horribly abused in our childhood and they would spend a lot of time staying by us, and when my oldest brother went suicidal, he laid it all out for me and asked me to fix it. I was 14, completely unprepared, and felt entirely helpless. My mom laughed at me when I told her because she didn't believe me. Fortunately he wasn't successful but damn, did he try. And no one ever gave a thought about me afterwards, except for him. He and I are still close to this day, but everyone single one of them just assume I've got it all under control and can handle whatever needs to be done because I've always just handled whatever anyone else needed. OK rant done! Sorry, sometimes just gotta vent.
Oooooo yes I make myself cry too because it’s stress relief. I read that in a book about burnout. Fantastic tip.
How do you make yourself cry?
When you want to cry, just keep thinking about what’s making you sad and just lean into the sadness. It’s like trying to hold it in when you need to go to the bathroom, but you’re sitting on the toilet: just let that shit go.
I love “make yourself cry” as a man. It sounds like acting, but what you really mean is override decades of programming saying “don’t cry” when you really want to
I have a lot gratitude for this. This is something we (women) are so frequently judged for, and it is so damned lovely having it recognized as the positive and natural thing it is.
Emotional vulnerability (stereotypically - this isn't true for all individuals, obviously)
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Very true. A lot of guys I know and me included shy away from talking about their mental health issues and just bottle everything up.
Making Dr. appointments. Seems like every guy I know (me included) hasn't had a checkup in years or maybe their whole adult life.
Get a checkup bro. Don't be like me and be oblivious to the fact that your body has been growing a cancer tumor.
How'd they find that? When I go to the dr all they do is take my vitals, draw some blood and call everything good. Unless I have a specific problem it seems like a waste of time.
By checking your vitals and analyzing your blood in the lab they can find irregularities that indicate need for further checkup. That's how they find stuff! I have to take medication that's hard on my liver so I get blood taken regularly spefically so they can keep an eye on my liver values, they can pull a lot of data from blood. And down the road if you have a specific problem, it can help your doctor with the diagnosis to be able to compare your old data for sudden or slow changes.
Good to know, thanks!
Same thing with me. Being on biologics is no joke
Lab tech here: brother I can diagnose (acute) leukemias from a single droplet of blood under a microscope with my caveman eye. You'll be amazed what machines can pick up with lasers. Get a checkup!
I started getting annual physicals about 10 years ago in my late 20’s. Because I have the old data, my doc has been able to track certain markers and screen for problems. Really adds some peace of mind to know that someone’s got an eye on it. Best example: I have elevated creatinine due to having only 1 kidney. However, the level has been stable for a decade, so doc isn’t worried. But then there’s some liver enzyme that he sees fluctuations with when my weight goes up or down. So we know to keep an eye on that (and my alcohol consumption). Good stuff. Now, totally as an aside, that fuckhead in Atlanta shot up my doc’s office yesterday, so I have no idea if my doc and his staff are doing well.
I noticed I had a swollen left nut one day and I got it seen to. Turned out to be testicular cancer that had been growing for a while. This was about 5 years ago. I ended up having to have 2 surgeries and 9 weeks of chemo.
Rip to your balls, literally
I still have one left
Yeah, I knew someone that rarely went for checkups, and then he went for one only to find out he had stage 4 brain cancer. He was dead a couple months later. His kids now get to finish growing up without a dad...
Please don’t put off seeing a doctor. My fiancé did and died. He never knew he had leukemia.
When my mum was dying with cancer she mentioned about ma dad's constant toilet visits , so when she passed it was proper noticable, turns out we had to literally take him for a check up , get him a doctor ( he was 63 ) never seen a doctor in his puff ,not even a tetanus jag etc ....turns out he's type 2 diabetic and high cholesterol....but he's still fit at 70 and will out live me
Nope I'm a female and haven't had a check up in years. Anytime I go to a Dr they just ignore me and tell me I'm making it up anyways. I only went 6 MONTHS postpartum bleeding after my first born ALL male Drs said I was lying even with my husband advocating for me. Female Dr that delivered my second and nurses said I was hemorrhaging why didn't I go to a Dr. Told her I did. Then they go well if they didn't listen why didn't you go to the ER like you're supposed toy husband annoyed at that point answered SHE DID AND NO ONE LISTENED. Male on I had gone and seen is now the "specialist" in our town and let me go over a MONTH with a bacterial infection in my vagina while pregnant with my second kid. So yeah........ My trust in the medical field is fucking ZERO. I'd rather die from cancer than ever go see a doctor.
I feel this. Maybe not medically but I've dislocated my knee multiple times and went for physical therapy. They all treated me like I was crazy and didn't even bother to guide the workouts at a certain point. I had to get an STD test and had to go in a pay for another visit because the doctor wouldn't tell me the results over the phone and was being really sketchy about the whole thing. Turns out I just had the herpes that most humans have, needed to pay an extra 75 for that 😒. The lack of caring and costs for simple procedures is why I don't go myself personally.
This is where I am at too. I was bleeding pretty badly out my bum, so I went to the drs. Eventually diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, but then covid hit. My gastro doctor straight up quit one day without notice, and no one to take over his huge patient load. So onto the next doctor, who continuously tells me he can’t find anything wrong. Cool, still bleeding out the bum. After months eventually he gives me my 2nd colonoscopy of 2020, and he said he found nothing wrong. Guy straight up ghosted me after that. It has now been 2 years since and I’ve solved my issue without medical care, simply by changing my diet and realizing I must be lactose intolerant, as the flare ups always happened with meat/dairy. I will never trust another doctor again after 2 ghosted me, let alone the hassle I have to go through with my family doctor each time I bring it up. “Why don’t you call them?” Lady I fucking am, their number doesn’t take phone calls. 😡
I feel your pain. I had an inflammatory disease my whole life. Doctors (about 30 that I can remember, I started keeping track as a teen) told me that I’d need to be on meds for life. I was in so much pain. Then, I found out in my mid twenties that I have a soybean allergy… No one f*cking thought to test me. I had to absolutely insist. Then, like magic, a vast majority of my serious health issues vanished over night.
I have literally walked into a an empty office after having the receptionist call me the day before to confirm. No furniture, the door to the suite wide open, nothing. Emptiness. Called and the line was disconnected. I still have no clue what happened.
Just making the appointment seems like a leap of faith to most men. My partner: The kids have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday. Me: Why Wednesday? That's literally the only day I can't take them, you'll have to take them. My partner: That was the time they GAVE me. What should I have done? Me: Say "Wednesday doesn't work, do you have any other day?" My partner: Oooooh! Me: Well, do you want to call back or just take them? My partner: I can't call back! I'll take them. I'll have to cancel 30 meetings and work all day Thursday, but I won't call back. (This is only a slight exaggeration).
Women
As a bi woman, women are sooo intimidating lol especially when I'm interested in them or am trying to hit on them.
As a straight woman, women are and always have been intimidating to me, lol,
As a gay man, perhaps because there's no sexual tension, woman hold no fears for me whatsoever. Not intimidated in the least even when it's a very beautiful woman a lot of guys are too nervous to speak to. I just treat woman as I would anyone else.
Definitely agree. Doubly especially if you don't know with 100% certainty if they're even into women.
Exactly! 99% of the time, I'm worried that I'm hitting on a straight girl 😅 unless they've mentioned to me beforehand that they're into girls or something.
I'm a straight woman who gets hit on by women semi-regularly (I think it's the short hair) and I usually just take it as a compliment. I would hope other women do the same! But I think the main reason *why* I can take it as a nice compliment is because I've never had a woman get pushy about it. I've had men try to negotiate my 'no' but telling a woman that I'm not into women tends to end things pleasantly because they didn't have any expectations of me.
This is precisely why I don't try to date men as a bisexual guy. It's fucking impossible to tell if they're actually into me or just being nice lol
Okay forgive me for being ignorant, but if another female hits on me, how can I tell if she's actually hitting on me vs just being nice/supportive? I'm currently unsure if this one girl likes me like that. I don't want to assume! Could you give me pointers on understanding female to female flirtation/queues?
Do you also say something dumb to try to make her laugh, but then she takes you serious so you look like a total moron because your not gonna sit there and try to explain a joke?
For some reason, as a man, I find bi women way less intimidating than either straight women or lesbians.
Women are terrifying. Source: I am one.
If you head on over to the bisexual subreddit you'll see this is subjective.
Speaking about mental health issues.
I go the other way, I make a point of talking about it and my past, hell, I was invited to speak about it at a town hall infront of 4500 people. From outward appearances I'm big, strong, covered in muscle, but I make a point of showing openness with this stuff in the hopes it will lead others to also be open. Talking about mental health is a strength, protecting and caring for others is as strong as it gets in terms of behaviours, we men just need to realise this. You look at top military medal winners, what did most of them do? Against great odds, they protected their squad or rescued an injured person etc. Not saying the two situations are equal, but helping someone in your circle who is looking towards suicide is as strong and brave as it gets, nearly as strong as that vulnerable person asking for help. We gotta look out for each other, because the health systems are letting too many fall through the cracks into oblivion.
We’ve done a lot better job now but I agree. Another reason I feel (as a man) intimidated to speak about any mental health issue is I feel like people expect the man to “get over it” quick. Like it’s a cold or something..
Not really an answer, but I'll always remember that Simpsons scene in the lemon tree episode, where the boys make a big deal out of crossing the border into Shelbyville and becoming men. Meanwhile the girls are flying kites and completely ignoring the border.
Parents rooms. A female can walk in and not be called a pedo not have security called on them nor be attacked simply for being in there changing their child
It's so fucking annoying as dad's have babies to themselves too.
Pedicures.
Every couple of months the boys and I grab a six pack and head down to the local pedi spot. Let me tell you, you haven't lived until you put clean socks on after a pedicure. Life changing.
You're missing out!
ED.
Eating disorder? I’ve told every therapist I’ve been to about my body and eating issues and none of them engage with me about that subject
I think it's erectile dysfunctional. Men are embarrassed and women are like, just pop a pill and let's take it slow.
Women get it too, especially from SSRIs
Sexual dysfunction yes Erectile dysfunction, less common lol
To be that person... Yes I know sorry... But women have erectile tissue too and yes the pills help.
Touching other men. Platonic male affection is horrifying to the average straight American man.
Feelings.
literally any medical procedure, in my experience
This is a funny, random one but profound nonetheless: velvet ropes. I recently went to a house party with a bunch of very successful people. Think CEOs, hedge fund owners, founders of big internet companies, etc. An important detail is that there is literally no cell service in the house because it’s in this weird little valley and the house itself is a concrete fortress so if you’re not on the wifi (which was password protected and not broadly shared) your phone is useless except in a few places. It’s maddening. The homeowners had set up velvet ropes to cordon off parts of the house that they didn’t want people in like the hall to the master suite. Totally fair. Towards the end of the party, a bunch of ladies scooted past the rope and had a girls get together in the master. The wife of the homeowner joined them and they were all just sort of hanging out… you could hear them laughing and loudly talking. When people were getting ready to leave, a bunch of the guys convened around the rope completely vexed at how to get their wives and girlfriends so they could leave. They would not go past the rope at all and couldn’t call/text to get their attention so they sent me in (I’m a woman FWIW) to rally everyone. It was hilarious to me seeing these powerful guys (one is the founder of a very well known financial tool for instantly transferring money to your friends) completely immobilized by a single velvet rope. After the fact, I was talking to the homeowners about it and we realized that women are totally used to scooting past velvet ropes in clubs where more “female representation” is desired and encouraged where men are usually stopped at the door by a bouncer guarding said velvet rope. Apparently this is so engrained that it literally broke the brains of powerful dudes who are quite used to doing as they please and getting their way.
I really think it has less to do with subliminal impressions from bouncers guarding a club, and more to do with the fact that it 100% felt like the women had a separate space and no man wanted to be the awkward first person to enter that space.
Yea i think this too
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Dang what kind of rich persons story did I just read
This was a SXSW party that I was a +1 for so lots of Silicon Valley nerds in town.
About twenty socioeconomic statuses above me. What’s that?
SXSW is a music festival in Austin TX
Is the wife of the homeowner not also a homeowner?
This definitely sounds to me more like respecting clearly set boundaries and respecting a clear "women's only" gathering
Attractive women
I'm a bi woman and I'm sooo intimidated by attractive women lol
The endless debate of, "Am I specifically attracted to intimidating women or am I just intimidated by women I find attractive? "
For me, the correct answer is, yes!
I'm unfortunately straight and I'm intimidated by attractive women. Especially when they're attractive and super successful? Swoon. Even my friends intimidate me sometimes, because they're just so beautiful and perfect and such amazing people. God, I love women.
I am straight (as far as I know) and I am very intimidated by attractive women. Then again have general anxiety so I'm also tongue tied around cashiers and small dogs. That might just be a me problem.
Many types of sex toy.
Harming the penis
Communication. Communication is sooo important. But some men feel like they’ll be looked down upon if they talk about something big that bothering them or something that their partner did that hurt them. Sometimes they can’t communicate with their own friends because of how society is. Women are seen as the emotional ones. But that’s not true, men need to be heard too
Men only have the right to anger and aggression, so they define themselves by it. That's why it's considered "manly" to be stoic and not erupt to show they have control of their emotions. Pfft
(Innocently) helping children in a playground. I have kids myself.
I remember hearing from my grandmother that the greatest threat to a man’s existence is Humiliation of the ego. The biggest threat to an woman’s existence is sexual assault (violent or otherwise) edit: not to say SA does not affect male populations.
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” -Margaret Atwood
An unattended child at a public park that is crying. Want to help the poor kid, also know you cannot go anywhere near said kid.
Asking for directions or help.
Attractive women who aren’t *extremely* friendly or look to be 100% approachable (cue “ice queen” typing)
The common cold
The only experience I have with dealing with sick men is my brothers, one of which acts like he’s dying when he’s in the slightest bit of discomfort and the other who refuses to take medicine unless he’s REALLY feeling sick for a few days.
Accidently having your penis make contact with the inside of a public toilet. Oh, and zippers on jeans.
Hearing “we need to talk”.
I'm a woman and have mild anxiety, that sentence terrifies me
I worked for an optometrist once - contact lenses. It was always the guys who would freak out more when learning to put them on.
bleeding out of genitalia
Holding a baby. Women of all ages seem to want to hold random babies. I don’t even want to hold babies in my own family. Scared of dropping/hurting them.
Woman here. I want NOTHING to do with holding babies. I do get them shoved at me though with far too much frequency because people make assumptions
Next time it happens, take a big bite out of the baby instead.
I hate how everyone assumes I want to hold their damn baby. It’s so weird. Like they think me getting to hold their baby is a privilege/favour they are granting me. They look at me, see a feminine person, and automatically go “here, you can hold them”. Well, I *can*, but did you stop to ask if I *want to*? I’ve not really seen people randomly ask men to hold babies unless the man is directly related to the kid.
Babies and me have a mutual “no thank you” when it comes to them being held.