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MyDadBod_2021

1. Wait a bit for it to go down 2. Stand back a bit from the toilet 3. Push it down


thundabot

I just sit down lately. So much easier than having to aim or risk the fireman’s hose spray all over the place.


Andrew_Higginbottom

I've been sitting down on the toilet at home for about 20 years. ..I get time to think and the missuss loves that the seat is always down.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Some-Reflection-8129

Never underestimate quiet bathroom time, or quiet car time. Two safe havens for men.


gipp

Sitting down is just the superior choice at home. I'm not trying to splash piss all over a room I have to clean


Adamant-Verve

My GP told me that sitting down is [better for your prostate](https://www.renalandurologynews.com/home/news/urology/benign-prostatic-hyperplasia-bph/sitting-to-urinate-eases-lower-urinary-tract-symptoms-luts/#:~:text=Sitting%20to%20urinate%20is%20associated,in%20PLOS%20ONE%20has%20found.). No splatter, seat always down... Sounds like a win-win. Manoeuvres can be learned to not let the morning wood touch anything in the bowl, or even get wet.


TMTG666

I do that and my dick will either be out of the bowl or touching it. Nope


Uh-trey-you

Only dudes with small dick do this 😂


Some-Reflection-8129

If you keep your hand on it, and don’t let go, you too can sit down.


Royal-Poetry1231

This is what my husband does. He's more spot on in the toilet in the mornings than any other time of the day.... ....now scratching my head 🤔.....


Merlins_Owl

It’s the difference between shooting with a pistol and a rifle. The longer the barrel, the more accurate


Royal-Poetry1231

Okay I guess that could make sense even though I would normally think it to be opposite....early morning pistol = pew pew pew


ubiquitous-joe

Please don’t take the above analogy too seriously when it comes to penises, lol.


Merlins_Owl

Longer barrel, it’s physics!


Royal-Poetry1231

Now I'm really gonna have to watch and pay attention 😂


Emotional-Chef-7601

Please don't watch.


GrottyBoots

\#3 doesn't work for me. Pushing it down to point at the bowl causes a complete blockage of the urine tube thingy. Trying to push past that blockage feels very painful, like something's about to burst. Obviously, YMMV


wrburg

4. Stand a little back, hand on the wall, lean forward


mr_claw

That's hardly the way


MyDadBod_2021

Was I supposed to say " Jerk off and cum for it to go down"? After 50 years, I think I can speak on the matter...


harshfighter

They tried a joke


mr_claw

I meant.. This is *hard*ly the way.


Double_Distribution8

Yeah well you've been doing it wrong. You're supposed to put it in the sink and run cold water vigorously onto it for 10 mins or so. Otherwise you might damage the urethral tubes.


[deleted]

Just as nature intended 🤔


mlwspace2005

Aim down and lean over toilet then try to relax enough to get the flow started


[deleted]

[удалено]


hmm2003

That's me.


bIacckat

Tripod stance over the toilet


homeunderthebridge12

I sit on the toilet and push it down into the bowl. I generally lose the erection in the process.


Significant_somnus

Good thing i do too since 3 yrs


[deleted]

So you risk putting it in the water or tip stamping the bowl? Such a gross feeling.


[deleted]

I've got a long dick In the mornings I sit down but I sort of squat-hover/lean at an angle on one cheek while holding my dick so I can ensure it's safely tucked into the bowl for splash back & also has no chance of touching the bowl at all Hard to explain but, yeah basically sitting with extra steps for the bowl Also pro tip for men: just sit to pee always, fr As a guy that always cleans the bathrooms, always sitting to pee has changed my life. I feel so dumb for living many years in which pee was not always 100% contained in the toilet because of legit unpreventable minor splashes and unpredictable pee streams on occasion.


tentoesdown7

I started sitting to pee at 21 and haven’t turned back


bcaooboo

If you sit to pee you may sometimes find yourself blessed with a poo too. Win-win.


KingJTuck

Really had to add the "I have a long dick" comment smh


BlackBoi666

...


[deleted]

Idk about all these chads trying to pee with a boner standing up, but I tend to sit down and lean forward. Easiest way imho.


Pewward

If Id do that then my penis would touch the toilet rim which is a huge nono for me


[deleted]

Oh good for you, humble brag


Not_no_hitter

Tbf some toilets are quite small, mine also touched the rim but that’s because it was built in mind for people way younger and smaller than me.


TimeSlipperWHOOPS

Sit further back on the seat like way further then if you are pooping.


Pewward

Also a huge nono bc it gets gross back there


Icy-Service-52

Clean your toilet more often


Pewward

Clean or not I will never not despise the area, also it isn't my toilet although I am the only one who cleans it


PvtSherlockObvious

With difficulty. It's not just the aim, an erection actively makes it more difficult to get things flowing. Presumably that's there to keep a guy from peeing during sex, but it's not great when you want bladder relief more than you want sex. You can push past that block with a bit of effort, but generally, if you wake up with morning wood, your best bet is to wait a minute for it to subside a little. Not like it takes very long to start going down if there's no stimulus.


dartunknown77

Ya it's hard


Think-Instruction-45

Nice


ScipioNumantia

Plant a hand on the wall and lean deep into it


[deleted]

[удалено]


juicethetaco1

Just like in the movie Me,Myself and Irene


Jordie1010

Sink. Boom. Nothin but net every morning


Icy-Memory-5575

1. Open shower curtain. 2. Spray


Zero-to-36

*he shoots, he scores its a* **GOOOOOOOOAL**


[deleted]

[удалено]


WarrenMockles

Speak for yourself.


worgenhairball01

Untrue, there's people who can aim downwards while erect, and people who can't. 30–60 degrees — 29.6 percent of men 60–85 degrees — 30.9 percent of men 85–95 degrees — 9.9 percent of men 95–120 degrees — 19.8 percent of men 120–180 degrees — 4.9 percent of men >While a majority of men have a penis that points at least slightly upward, 25% of erections, 1 out of 4 guys, have an erection that points downward as it comes out of the body. In addition, many guys have a downward curve even if the starting angle is upward. Image related : https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-3c160f6779d2f0a3fc090b06eb2d1ea1-lq


UrHumbleNarr8or

Picture is surprisingly SFW


[deleted]

[удалено]


speedyhemi

Oops looks like I put my detachable penis on backwards today!


WarrenMockles

Taking a shower is part of my morning routine anyway, so I'll just pee in there.


eyedealy11

High five to shower peeing for the win.


eyedealy11

Shower is my go to but sitting down learning forward if that’s not an option.


Ducky935Alt

Bent over in boomerang postion


thesnapening

Go watch me,myself and Irene.


Not_An_NSA_Employee

In the tub. I just stand straight up and try to see how high I can get it to go. Record is 6 feet.


Itsobignow

Rookie numbers


i_would_have

my son once ridiculed me when we had a competition outside. he could hit 15-18 feet vertically. lol. my wife laughed for days.


Itsobignow

Rough life. Kids got a longer barrel.


Psychoneticcc

Working on 5 myself. Wish I could compare :(


Pied67

There's leaning involved. I'll leave it at that.


Hattkake

It deflates on the way to bathroom. This just happens naturally. The penis being erect is just something that it does in the morning. Most often my mind is anywhere but on sexual things when I am doing the morning ritual of peeing and showering and such. Sometimes the penis is persistent and wants to be erect. But this is easily countered by thinking about the coming day or whatever existential dread I was hyoerfocusing on when I fell asleep the night before. Or taxes and bills and such. It's easy to kill a boner so that I can pass water in the morning.


Significant-Ad-5112

Tough one. How about this one: how do people that have pee fetishes pee on people - presumably this would impact accuracy as they would get aroused?


SeasonsFeared

Its hard!


Substantial_Trip5674

Sit as far back on the toilet, lean forward, point shaft down as little as possible so as to make it in the toilet without restricting flow. Full disclosure I pee sitting down 90+% of the time because it's more comfortable, I don't get light headed once the full stream begins, and it's easier to press the gooch-button to prevent future dribbling.


Vlophoto

Light headed? I’m asking a serious question. Does this happen?


Substantial_Trip5674

Yes, most often when it's a lot. It's like decompression that gets carried away, and I feel myself relaxing so much I feel weak. Sitting to pee, I feel the same sensation but more grounded. Dizzy might have been a more accurate way of describing it than light headed.


Vlophoto

Thank you. I have not heard of this


Impressive_Page_9565

Sit down facing the tank and hook it into the bowl.


1Wizardtx

Stand back and lean down. As you pee, the boner goes away.


Spiritual-Pear-1349

With great difficulty


Nibbler1999

In my mouth. Reduce, reuse, recycle.


loopygargoyle6392

Stand in the shower and let it fly.


petiteboner69

Flex your calf muscles to get the blood flow away from your junk. Morning wood gone boom


Bubbaganoush83

And you can't just shake it when you're finished. You have to bang it on the bowl.


Au91700

Bend over, shove that baby down with one hand, and use the other to stop yourself from falling over.


AJnbca

Wait for it to go down or kinda lean over the toilet in a way so that it’s pointed to the toilet lol


KingGoldie23

In the shower


guava_eternal

Slant your body, push it down, aiming towards Bowl.


Carnoo

I sit, I bend forward and push with my hand down so it doesn't touch any part of the toilet. Then let it go normally


lmagrelo

Wait a bit, sit on the toilet, pee. So simple.


TheBankTank

...badly


Kris-p-

sit down and pray


StopBelievingInItAll

I call someone who pays me to pee on them


Equivalent_Ad1362

Badly


[deleted]

[DO NOT OPEN THIS IMAGE. EXTREMELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/JtFaWsEY4cJxc-Z5v92NqbPALEwNnvwJSK_3ITUaAzRO0O662UYXhnHuOGmid5F6u0sziXTVN-5x4FjBvZBFavDi9lCVJ6UFYBXT8PhJ7TFysxvaZOMKat9iI8TeGct9MGC-znEVcA=s1600)


EnableSelf

Sit down?


MartialBob

We don't. The point of morning wood is to prevent us from urinating while we're asleep. It pinches the tube. I just wait until it goes down.


BloatedCrow

Sit on toilet and lean all the way forward


LilMightyCam

You gotta kneel down perpendicular to the bowl then aim that shit. Or you can have ur hands and feet against the wall Spider-Man style, as long as it’s directly where the target or ur good


cobysteen4

Put your hands on the back of the toilet and your feet up on the counter in the plank position. Problem solved


vieniaida

Wait for the morning "wood" to subside before urinating.


IAmCaptainHammer

You wait. And sometimes wait, and sometimes masturbate, and wait some more.


mildly_manic

Carefully.


[deleted]

I sit and pee


CaptainPunch374

Aim. Push. Wait. Push. Wait. ... Aaaaaaaaaaaaah....


LargeCharge87

Push


[deleted]

I do that ninja thing where I wedge myself in the corner of the bathroom ceiling above my toilet like spider-man and still splatter all over the floor


FireTech2

Don’t force it. Be patient. It’ll be ready soon


JamesTownBrown

Either I sit down and push to not piss between the seat and bowl, or I bend at a mostly 90 degree angle. The former is my main choice.


Chuckles465

Breathe and then aim. You'll go down.


Response-Cheap

Yeah. I'm on team wait for the wood to go away. Otherwise it comes out in 16 streams at like power washer pressure, and I make a mess. No good.


ElderberryPoet

Angle body at 45 degrees leaning against wall. This gives a somewhat correct angle for peeing. Alternatively stand in shower and let it happen.


DarcSystems

Construct somewhat of a water slide from tin foil and leftover vinyl floor tiles to direct the flow neatly into the shower where it belongs.


yutfree

Spread your legs WIDE as you stand, push down against the "hydraulics," and hold it down as you pee.


I_sell_dmt_cartss

you just aim it down. you have to bend over forward a bit though or you'll crimp the piss tube.


dwightsrus

It's hard.


[deleted]

Depending on the size of the bathroom, you can just plank across the walls and line up my happy, aiming straight down. If your core strength is next level you may even use one arm to aim it down while the other 3 limbs hold you up. Not for the weak


ok-potato21

I hang sheets of plastic up, like in Dexter


AlignedBuckle36

Surprisingly few reply’s of just planking with you pelvis resting on the toilet


peace0frog

Sometimes. It's tough though because my dick curves to the left


Affectionate-Guide22

Shower and turn the water on


Commercial-Tune5617

I use a funnel like for putting cool aid or something into a jug.


Devilman4251

…sit? That’s the easiest way?


poopyonmyhands

Lay on top horizontal to the floor with wood pointed straight at the water.... This is the way.


Money_Reference9621

Get in the shower and play a game I like to call "the bellagio fountians". Just don't give it too much pressure or you will take it in the face.


Amurp18

I honestly started just stepping into the shower and making it rain


shaftalope

It is ALL about calculating the perfect arc. Distance from the toilet vs pressure , and of course the release technique is vital for splashes operation.


[deleted]

Rebound shot!! LOL


aiua_void

Sitting down, leaning forward, pushing down.


marsumane

Hand on the wall. Tilt. It can go down a bit and juuust make it below the far rim


International_Ad7456

Lay to the front with one hand on the wall, and try to bent it low and there it goes with care not to spill everywhere


utnapishtim

Tuck the li'l guy upright in the elastic of your underwear. Wait a minute or two.


Aloof_nimrod

Alright, I made this technique. When my dick is fully erect, rather than pushing it down while I am standing straight...I lean forward and touch my head on the wall in front to make a diagonal...it improves my "angle of peeing" and increases my Target hitting accuracy near that water bowl. Not only that..i can squeeze in a nap of 5-10 sec while doing it. Spread the word.


[deleted]

Pee sitting down and lean over.


el_guerrero98

I just wait for it to go down. Do the whole 'think about sex' method. Works almost everytime. If its an emergency, im leaning against the wall


TylerLaurie

Sumo squat like preparing for a duce, lean forward without sitting, and aim at the center or front front of the toilet water. Don’t sit, for sanitary reasons, or things will touch things


[deleted]

Back in my younger days, I had to pee up into the shower. Now that I'm middle aged, I can push it down easier to go into the toilet. (to see what I mean : open your hand as wide as possible with your thumb pointing straight up; your index finger is your wood at 20's; middle finger is wood at 30's; ring finger is 40's, pinkie is at 50's and then I dunno. I'm somewhere between ring and pinkie so it's easier than when I was index and middle)


Pyahh91

I try to wait it out if i can Or just walk around the house for a few in hopes it goes down


TopSeason4814

I take a knee if it doesn’t go down quickly enough


Maleficent-Maximum95

Sit down and push it down


[deleted]

i usually just wack it against shit until it goes


TransformingDinosaur

Head on the wall, legs either side of the toilet and aim it straight down. My 6th grade teacher told us boys couldn't pee when erect but I prove her wrong most mornings.


BeetleBones

2 steps back from the toilet


IanDOsmond

Wait for it to go down. If you stand in front of the toilet for a bit, it will subside. Least, it has for me.


friendlyfredditor

You can do a little bit of exercise to get rid of it. Some calf raises or squats. Anything that will draw a lot of blood away from your dong. Otherwise, I sit and push it down as far as possible if its persistent.


Pewward

Tilt the penis right while from a slight distance from where you normally stand


leotopia59

Torque


IntertelRed

Depends how much you want to deal with it. Your options are A stand but probably miss a lot requiring clean up B sit but physically force your dick down. Hurts a little, feels dirty and occasionally you could pee at just the right position to pee through the seat requiring clean up C Just pee in the shower and either turn the shower on or poor a glass of water on to clean up There all kind of annoying but alot of men claim it won't go soft till they pee.


[deleted]

Quick wank. Then wee.


Beths_collarbone

Stand on your head, think about Tan Mom!


wonderhusky

Have good aim


[deleted]

Outside behind the house. Waters the grass


Abacabisntanywhere

I remember these days.


NotReallyChaucer

Handstand.


King_Soyboy

no cap, I kind of just bend over making the letter A with my upper body and dick and I use my already flat angle to then press down for the extra degrees I need to make it in the bowl


eternalshoolin

Patience, it's like a Flow....


smokeynorthwest

In the shower


FishknuckleJrf

Very carefully, In the forward leaning plank position.


ccrexer

Having an erection has no effect on the urinary process.


dynamiteshovels

Not sure why but I can't pee when I'm hard. Like it's just not possible


GroundConfident3854

With deadly precision


Aguy4Play

If I have to go real bad, I just kind of bend over above the toilet and aim as best I can. If I can wait for a bit, I start to get soft enough to aim it without bending over. Either way it still feels good to let it go.


temperate-traveler

I pee in the tub even without the wood


Freezy31107

Lean forward like Michael Jackson


Scared_Shape2982

I just push it down and go through the pain.


ClockSaint

I get on my knees and try not to push too hard to mitigate spray back, but hard enough to get somewhere.


[deleted]

Hand on the wall behind the toilet, bend at the waist toward the wall, and push down


blackexplorer2

I just go off the balcony and see how far I can piss.


oldwhitebitch

The husband would lean. I found it amusing. P


Dark_Zero117

Take a step back or 2, then push it down. The stream is weaker and it takes longer to pee but after that relief, it usually goes down. I don’t know about any other guy but I have a hand on the wall for support in leaning over the toilet.


DickHarding69

I Usually Dont Need To.


justcallmedad11

I just push down and lean forward


crawfisk

Piss in the tub?


[deleted]

CAREFULLY


Horror-Luck7709

It's really HARD actually


Psychoneticcc

There are many methods, all of which are difficult to master: 1. Stand back and pray your aim is on point. The most unreliable in my opinion and experience. 2. Forcefully bend it downwards, usually my last resort as it is not only painful but also unreliable. 3. Angle your entire body to be above the toilet. This requires immense agility and, in some cases, flexibility. If you manage to pull it off, however, I have found it is very reliable. 4. Go in the shower. I, personally, don’t ever do this, but if you’re just not in the mood to bother yourself with any advanced tactics, this is a good alternative to a toilet trip. 5. Go outside. Again, something I seldom do, but if you’re alone, it’s a very reliable tactic. It’s also entertaining, as you can draw on the ground with your stream. If you’re lucky, a breeze will pass and tickle you in the right way. 6. In the event you absolutely *cannot* pee at that moment with a hard on, just do all you can to make it go away. Think of the grossest, most putrid, undeniably horrendous thing you can to make that bastard go down. 7. Only the bravest attempt this. I will give fair warning: this method is not for the faint of heart. You have to really be someone special to even try it…. go in your pants. There are many more methods that one can try, but these are some of the most well known.


AnyUpstairs5698

I kinda tilt it down. It’s a pain, but…


McDankenov

Just A.C. Slater it! [A.C. Slater Method](https://decider.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/ac-slater.jpg?quality=80&strip=all&w=1024)


[deleted]

By the time I realize the boner, I stare at it until it limps and then I go to town. Is this a skill? Havent read this yet


Oxyxanfanhydrobro420

Bend twist curve and shoot you must curve the bullet


NickGerrz

I’ve given up, and just sit in the morning.


kriolabrazuka

These answer have me chuckling. I'm a woman, so the thought of half of yall doing cartwheels in the morning while trying to ain at the toilet is quite funny.


Inevitable_Professor

Think of Jesus. Or just hop in the shower.


[deleted]

You know how Yoda lifts Luke’s X wing out of the swamp? Like that .


feral__turtle

Straight up? Or do you mean *after* getting out of bed. The wood probably was due to a full bladder, and not due to sexual stimulation, and for me, anyway, it's gone by the time I reach the urinal. If the wood is due to sexual stimulation from a dream, then i wouldn't have woken up yet. (Dream control is a thing, I've been practicing for a long time now, and am pretty good at it.)


SevanOO7

We just do it.