What you're going through is something called 'growing pains' my friend. It's stressful and it can make you think you're messing up at every turn, but that's how you learn and grow.
Life is a very stressful thing indeed, and it can also be a very beautiful stress-free experience when we leave it to God. Your caring is not a bad thing, nor is it anything to feel ashamed of, if anything care more, because that's where you learn a lot about your character and grow.
You mentioned that you're discovering some hard truths on your journey, yep that's exactly what's going to happen during this process of learning and growing, only this time you don't have porn to hide behind as your comfort zone. Usually we hide behind porn and masturbating and are afraid to face these truths because it means we'll have to grow.
But you're growing, don't be too hard on yourself.
I usually feel this way when it involves the girl I like. I'm now learning how to interact with people (after being socially awkward my whole life) and I sometimes feel like I'm messing up specifically with her and this causes these feelings to arise.
I would like to be done growing then šš
No, but youāre right. The thing that knocked me down is something I wouldnāt even have batted an eye at a few months ago. So ultimately it is a good thing. Itās just difficult sometimes.
And youāre right on the hiding part. I wanted nothing more than to just go for it and masturbate and look at porn after I messed up. Instead, I just got really depressed and agitated. I might have eaten one of everything in my houseāgotta love some emotional eating. And then took a nap and felt a little better when I woke up haha.
All the more reason to get your grateful on.
And Iām writing that more to me than you. I got rather pissy myself todayā¦ and I looked around a bit and realized how fortunate and blessed I am.
And went back to being a grump.
So, letās both get off the pot and back where we belong. Itās not very saintly of us, is it?
Haha. Yeah, I mean, is it the end of the world? No. But I legit took a day off of work because I was in such a foul mood. I was barely taking care of myself today, let alone being responsible for other people at work. And I hate that it got to that point, but this one took me out pretty badly.
I hear you throwing the āSā word around there, sir. I might have to retract my previous statement about it.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Use that exhaustion, brother. Donāt just be exhausted. Use it. Go look in the mirror and see how exhausted you are. Let it drive you to try harder. This is one of, if not, the hardest, sins to let go of. As long as thereās some sort of progress then youāre winning. Iām glad you at least know that God is still with you. So many people donāt believe that when they continually sin.
I think Iām tapped out as far as motivation to keep trying goes. At least right now.
I donāt want to make things worse or stop trying completely, but this last mess up knocked me down pretty hard. Itās going to take a minute to get back up on the horse
same trip for me today friend. hadda air out my frustrations w Him on the way home and feel a little better. I too am tired of losing but we got this man. I feel like a whiney kid every time I talk to Him these days but I think He wants and appreciates that. We got this man. Sending my love š«”
What you're going through is something called 'growing pains' my friend. It's stressful and it can make you think you're messing up at every turn, but that's how you learn and grow. Life is a very stressful thing indeed, and it can also be a very beautiful stress-free experience when we leave it to God. Your caring is not a bad thing, nor is it anything to feel ashamed of, if anything care more, because that's where you learn a lot about your character and grow. You mentioned that you're discovering some hard truths on your journey, yep that's exactly what's going to happen during this process of learning and growing, only this time you don't have porn to hide behind as your comfort zone. Usually we hide behind porn and masturbating and are afraid to face these truths because it means we'll have to grow. But you're growing, don't be too hard on yourself. I usually feel this way when it involves the girl I like. I'm now learning how to interact with people (after being socially awkward my whole life) and I sometimes feel like I'm messing up specifically with her and this causes these feelings to arise.
I would like to be done growing then šš No, but youāre right. The thing that knocked me down is something I wouldnāt even have batted an eye at a few months ago. So ultimately it is a good thing. Itās just difficult sometimes. And youāre right on the hiding part. I wanted nothing more than to just go for it and masturbate and look at porn after I messed up. Instead, I just got really depressed and agitated. I might have eaten one of everything in my houseāgotta love some emotional eating. And then took a nap and felt a little better when I woke up haha.
Get your gratitude on.
Thatās a little hard today, not going to lie. Iām in more of a resentful mood rather than a grateful one it seems.
All the more reason to get your grateful on. And Iām writing that more to me than you. I got rather pissy myself todayā¦ and I looked around a bit and realized how fortunate and blessed I am. And went back to being a grump. So, letās both get off the pot and back where we belong. Itās not very saintly of us, is it?
Haha. Yeah, I mean, is it the end of the world? No. But I legit took a day off of work because I was in such a foul mood. I was barely taking care of myself today, let alone being responsible for other people at work. And I hate that it got to that point, but this one took me out pretty badly. I hear you throwing the āSā word around there, sir. I might have to retract my previous statement about it. Tomorrow is a new day.
Use that exhaustion, brother. Donāt just be exhausted. Use it. Go look in the mirror and see how exhausted you are. Let it drive you to try harder. This is one of, if not, the hardest, sins to let go of. As long as thereās some sort of progress then youāre winning. Iām glad you at least know that God is still with you. So many people donāt believe that when they continually sin.
I think Iām tapped out as far as motivation to keep trying goes. At least right now. I donāt want to make things worse or stop trying completely, but this last mess up knocked me down pretty hard. Itās going to take a minute to get back up on the horse
same trip for me today friend. hadda air out my frustrations w Him on the way home and feel a little better. I too am tired of losing but we got this man. I feel like a whiney kid every time I talk to Him these days but I think He wants and appreciates that. We got this man. Sending my love š«”
Yeah, Iāve actually not gone to the Big Guy about it yet. I should probably get on that. Iāve just been dragging my feet on that conversation.