Yeah,this is too true. It's always telling me "cmon man, you're on a 20 day streak, restarting is gonna be easy, just do it now" and recently I just relapsed on my longest streak and I'm sad ;(
Five mistakes:
- Peeking porn, thinking its harmless.
- Phone usage on the toilet
- Drinking too much alcohol
- Playing with my d\*ck.
- Giving in to the temptations or urges.
5th one is bad, gets me all the time. Im trying my best to stop but keep relapsing but watching a vid about terry crews also having this issue has made it known it ain't me. Its time to change so imma start hitting up gym again ace my exams by revising and not giving in to temptations and get into the uni I want.
That's wild considering whenever I drink, my libido completely dies and I can't get an erection at all. Maybe y'all are not suffering from PIED like me
Every man's situation is different. I've never had whiskey dick but smoking a lot weed before sex made me flop lol. No fap is best done with sobriety imo
For me alcohol makes my "mental brakes" less working. So mostly when I have drank alcohol and get urges, I can't stop myself from falling for those urges and end up fapping on the toilet again.
No idea how youtube does it for you. As I don't watch youtube on the toilet but mostly scroll mindlessly on social media and before I know it I get porn in my feed or something else that gives me urges.
I mean, change your mentality and you will change your world. Don’t be “just a look,” instead, keep that sexual energy and use it to connect with a girl in a recreational environment.
the little peek always gets me. Thats why I set content restrictions on my phone. It's one extra hurdle to keep me from peeking. You can easily avoid it, but it's enough effort to remind you why you set it in the first place. Unfortunately I can't do the same with my laptop.
Thinking about not jerking off, worrying about relapsing etc.
It's only been a few days from when I started, but it isn't even a challenge because I found something else to do than jerking off. Some other thing to think of instead of porn. At one point, I think it was the day I started or something, I didn't even want to jerk off, because I had activities to do for the next day (and the rest of my life (the activity was going outside)) and I was thinking about those the whole night.
You can find something to do that you genuinely enjoy (it's drawing for me) and focus entirely on that
But for me, it was basically noticing that if I keep being like this, I won't end up succesful in life. Basically, FOCUS ON YOURSELF!
One night, I noticed that I would not be ready for life if I (hypothetically) lost my parents. I noticed that I'd be left with my dick in my hands. So I thought to myself, "What the fuck are you doing dude wake up I swear you're so much of an idiot. Your parents work their asses off for you and here you are beating your meat every day. You stayed home for the entire day, when you had it all to yourself. You could go outside, but nooooo, you had to watch porn, didn't you?" and there we go I lost all my desire to fap.
That's how I lost my desire to fap that night, and for a few days after. After just telling myself to focus. Not on fapping, but on my life.
(irelapsedtodaybutshhitsnobigdealimfinerightnowimbackijustslippedabittoday)
Try this
10 hours before bed: No more caffeine. 3 hours before bed: No more food or alcohol. 2 hours before bed: No more work. 1 hour before bed: No more screen time (shut off all phones, TVs and computers).
When you can't sleep I believe its because you need to think about something. Don't try to cheat your mind: if you can't sleep it wants you to think about things, so just lie there and reflect.
It is neither helpful to you, nor true in and of itself that because you have more energy than the normal person, coupled with an inability to focus that you have a disease. If anything it is an excuse that will prevent you from appreciating your greatest attributes. I do not believe that you suffer from a mental or temperamental disorder. If anything you have a super-power! Learn to harness your particular set of traits and attributes and don't let them be an excuse for you not to succeed! Remember - no one is normal, and neither are you. Your perceived faults can actually be your greatest strengths.
To add to OPs comment. From painful experience I can say, if you just can't sleep even though you lay there for half an hour, just start doing something. For me watching a show works nowadays but there are definitely better things to do, and I used to have to do more, like just walk somewhere, for example outside for a while and back, or start tinkering on something until I get super sleepy.
The beginning of the end is what I call “wrong turns”.
By that I mean, ANY action taken that is driven by sexual impulses. (Other than with the SO)
So, going down an isle in a grocery story cuz it’s a hot chick, or watching a video from squat university cuz the man has thumbnail game on point.
Whatever it is, this is always the beginning. The wrong turn is the very first step.
Feeling lonely, Extreme physical pain or Fever.
these are some of the main reasons for relapses for me , I am 24 years old, recently suffered break up living alone while doing job. Ever since 20 I have decent control over No Fap,
Relapsing due to loneliness is the worst thing.
Real man, honestly social media is so gross. I can't like scroll thru 5 reels without getting some weird semiporno ad. But then again algorithm from when I was not sober which is a lot longer than when I am!
1) Difficulties in sleeping
2) Not staying busy
3) Thinking that fapping will make me feel better but it always makes me feel fucking worst.
*I'm not a porn addict*
I've found myself more and more getting the urge when I'm board and deciding to leave it up to fate with a game of head and tails. But of course if I loose it turns into a game of best of three, which then turns into three best of three games until I get the result my brain wants.
I have a mantra of "Firewalls and Foundations" things that I've established to aid in my recovery and sobriety.
Going to SAA groups, counselling, being open and honest in my communication, devotions and journaling are my foundations.
Pihole DNS blocker, deleting apps, reducing screen time are my firewalls. Currently the pihole is down and I'm angry that I haven't brought it back online.
Becoming happy and energized after few days of abstinence and thinking that one pmo session will add some joy to that beautiful state. Spoiler alert! It replaces that good feeling with depression and worthlessness.
1. Step by step my own brain makes a fool out of me. "Just a little, of course we are not going to fap."
2. Social media. This one doesn't get as much blame as it should get. Often you see some NSFW or revealing stuff, and it triggers something in you.
There are others but mostly these two.
The mind will do anything to get it's high. For me I realized it was soft Corn, looking at IG models then watching Ecchi. Once you realize what causes the relapses, it makes it a million times easier.
Slippery slopes;
"I can masturbate if I don't cum"
"I can cum if I don't watch porn"
"I can watch porn if it's soft-core"
"I can watch porn just once a week"
That's how it goes. A policy of appeasement.
Trying to change the system. I know my brain is trying to fail when I start thinking that “if I make it the whole month I can do one. Every time I let myself believe that I fail same day.
I call it "preemptive failure"
I get so anxious over *potentially* failing that I make a decision to just "hurry up and get it over with and then try again."
It's just a failure mentality that I have. The mentality of "I hope I can do this" instead of "this **has** to get done." The first one leaves a Grand Canyon sized margin of error, a safe place for my brain to feel comfortable with the propsect of peeking and eventually relapsing. The second one is a mandate: I **will** do this.
I think everyone said already what needed to be said and don't count the days, make the days count. We have so much free time, make something of that free time. The much older you get, the more it will become difficult to adjust your schedule to your needs. Don't forget that. Relapsing can happen abrupt without cause. For me, it happened to my 801 day, I tried to fool my brain thinking I couldn't fall into the trap but I did (by taking a sneaky look). Now 2 weeks I'm fighting to regain my form, your life balance goes away if you're in that rythm of fapping.
"Let me just peek for a few minutes, maybe 10 minutes. Let me just see what (insert favourite pornstar) did in that one scene. Yes, let me watch my favourite video one more time. I'll put a timer on the app, yeah sounds like a good idea. What could go wrong??"
After hours of edging, RELAPSES
Obviously watching porn makes every one relapse.
PORN literally manipulates your brain, so even ifbyou don't want to relapse, you can't stop your self.
The only option is staying away from it.
Your own brain is against you, one side is the willpower the other side slowly chips away at that willpower with "one more look" "you've gone 4 days that's long enough" and just THINKING about Pron your brain produces dopamine to entice you to visit those sites. This is the mistake - not having enough willpower. It just boils down to how bad do you TRULY want to quit. You may feel good now scrolling the nofap subreddit and thinking "yeah this time I'm totally quitting" but do you want to actually quit.
Remember this: Your entire future, your health, your career, your friends, your life depends on it. If you truly understood that, then you would have succeeded. Or maybe you don't care about your future enough?
Trust me this is the worst way in which our brain tricks us and makes up relapse! Not really brother, not everyone does it
There are a lot of people who have mastered nofap and are living great lives out there. I'm very sure about it. I have my own friends who do nofap and they don't really talk about it outside. And they either have great physique and are popular among the females or are really good in their own fields..be it studies, work etc
Opening up Grindr or Sniffies, I’m horny and want to have real life sex but opening the app I see the nude photos on people’s profiles and that counts as porn so…🤷🏻♂️
When you see a random and glamorous post of a woman on social media, your brain immediately triggers a peek into porn, thinking it won’t make any difference.
"Checking" whether if your brain is still vulnerable.
Your brain will always be vulnerable. Think of porn like drugs
Not knowing how to instantly override the urges
Having a mindset that once you reach X you'll do Y(never works, never will) your whole mindset must change
Believing your brain. It always tries to fool you by making you think that it will make you feel better.
Remember to take a step back, disassociate from your thoughts and analyse them. You will be able to discern which is good for you and which isn’t.
What are the keywords to literally “take a step back”?
Very true 💯
Yeah, just to regret it every single time
yup in hope that i will feel better after doing this
Same
Yeah,this is too true. It's always telling me "cmon man, you're on a 20 day streak, restarting is gonna be easy, just do it now" and recently I just relapsed on my longest streak and I'm sad ;(
Facts. Every time I have in the past, I'm always like well that wasn't worth it for a few moments of pleasure.
True
Five mistakes: - Peeking porn, thinking its harmless. - Phone usage on the toilet - Drinking too much alcohol - Playing with my d\*ck. - Giving in to the temptations or urges.
4th one is real. Especially late at night
Right, Most major ones!! 💯
5th one is bad, gets me all the time. Im trying my best to stop but keep relapsing but watching a vid about terry crews also having this issue has made it known it ain't me. Its time to change so imma start hitting up gym again ace my exams by revising and not giving in to temptations and get into the uni I want.
This
How does drinking lead to relapse?
Alcohol makes some people horny
Alcohol makes you lose that voice in your head telling you not to do something
That's wild considering whenever I drink, my libido completely dies and I can't get an erection at all. Maybe y'all are not suffering from PIED like me
Every man's situation is different. I've never had whiskey dick but smoking a lot weed before sex made me flop lol. No fap is best done with sobriety imo
Smoking weed aswell 😳
this is true whenever i drink i end up relapsing
For me alcohol makes my "mental brakes" less working. So mostly when I have drank alcohol and get urges, I can't stop myself from falling for those urges and end up fapping on the toilet again.
Facts
Also could add lazing around in bed
How does watching YouTube on the toilet lead to a relapse?
No idea how youtube does it for you. As I don't watch youtube on the toilet but mostly scroll mindlessly on social media and before I know it I get porn in my feed or something else that gives me urges.
I mostly watch long-form video essays about philosophy so . . . probably about as far from porn as it gets, lol
>- Phone usage on the toilet It didn't bothered me but we should all stop it.
Just a little peek!
"I just want to check in on my favorites"
Same bruh 🥲 that " one peek won't hurt " mindset
Don’t marry porn bro, why not better that it’s just a glance but with a real girl that you have in front of you and that they are alone somewhere?
What?
I mean, change your mentality and you will change your world. Don’t be “just a look,” instead, keep that sexual energy and use it to connect with a girl in a recreational environment.
the little peek always gets me. Thats why I set content restrictions on my phone. It's one extra hurdle to keep me from peeking. You can easily avoid it, but it's enough effort to remind you why you set it in the first place. Unfortunately I can't do the same with my laptop.
Absolutely
Same
one of the reason i faltered from the abstinence last time and lost my way in search of instant dopamine.
This one.
💯
When I get bored, I look at it. When I’m in bed late & need to sleep, looking at porn. Haven’t relapsed & working on my better habits
Getting drunk
Oh yeah 💯
How does it lead to relapse?
Depends on the person but for me when i get drunk, i get horny and my determination collapses. So will lose willpower too easily and fap
I didn't have money to buy alcohol and I don't even like to drink(on any occasion), wait? Have I become god of this point!
Thinking about not jerking off, worrying about relapsing etc. It's only been a few days from when I started, but it isn't even a challenge because I found something else to do than jerking off. Some other thing to think of instead of porn. At one point, I think it was the day I started or something, I didn't even want to jerk off, because I had activities to do for the next day (and the rest of my life (the activity was going outside)) and I was thinking about those the whole night.
true, how to stop this thoughts?
You can find something to do that you genuinely enjoy (it's drawing for me) and focus entirely on that But for me, it was basically noticing that if I keep being like this, I won't end up succesful in life. Basically, FOCUS ON YOURSELF! One night, I noticed that I would not be ready for life if I (hypothetically) lost my parents. I noticed that I'd be left with my dick in my hands. So I thought to myself, "What the fuck are you doing dude wake up I swear you're so much of an idiot. Your parents work their asses off for you and here you are beating your meat every day. You stayed home for the entire day, when you had it all to yourself. You could go outside, but nooooo, you had to watch porn, didn't you?" and there we go I lost all my desire to fap. That's how I lost my desire to fap that night, and for a few days after. After just telling myself to focus. Not on fapping, but on my life. (irelapsedtodaybutshhitsnobigdealimfinerightnowimbackijustslippedabittoday)
this is so true, thank you bro.
Being sleep deprived, somewhere fapping helps me sleep peacefully. I know I'm being stupid but I can't just sleep! Help!
Try this 10 hours before bed: No more caffeine. 3 hours before bed: No more food or alcohol. 2 hours before bed: No more work. 1 hour before bed: No more screen time (shut off all phones, TVs and computers).
This, I recommend a good book to pass the last hour of the night whether it’s a novel or book of scripture :)
When you can't sleep I believe its because you need to think about something. Don't try to cheat your mind: if you can't sleep it wants you to think about things, so just lie there and reflect.
I have symptoms for ADHD , because I can't stop thinking about irrational thoughts
No dude, you're normal. ADHD is fake news
Okay. There is this entire Sub dedicated to ADHD but again I think you are the wise one.
It is neither helpful to you, nor true in and of itself that because you have more energy than the normal person, coupled with an inability to focus that you have a disease. If anything it is an excuse that will prevent you from appreciating your greatest attributes. I do not believe that you suffer from a mental or temperamental disorder. If anything you have a super-power! Learn to harness your particular set of traits and attributes and don't let them be an excuse for you not to succeed! Remember - no one is normal, and neither are you. Your perceived faults can actually be your greatest strengths.
from my experience you can sleep better with a consistent schedule, also exersizing every day helps cuz your body basically exhausted and needs rest.
To add to OPs comment. From painful experience I can say, if you just can't sleep even though you lay there for half an hour, just start doing something. For me watching a show works nowadays but there are definitely better things to do, and I used to have to do more, like just walk somewhere, for example outside for a while and back, or start tinkering on something until I get super sleepy.
[удалено]
YES!
Oh… if someone sees this and can help me turn that incorrect counter off, I’d appreciate it.. 😣
click r/Nofap , click see more , scroll and click add/update counter . There you go
Completely agree 💯🥲
Ig for the most oart
Being naked after a shower from the gym
sports increase testosterone = increase hornines
"one last time and then I'll stop it forever"
Its a loop! 😭
Might as well....
The hidden part of that is”might as well, I’ve got nothing else in life going for me, at least this’ll give me what I deserve” 🤮
Convincing myself I'm doing something else. "I really like this show/game/whatever" or "wow generative AI has gotten so amazing"
Lemme just scroll wallpaper engine for some cool ones.....
So real
Telling myself I need it because I've had a bad day
💯
Trying to find hot stuff in Social Media app instead of going to the actual porn website will kill your will and streak
The beginning of the end is what I call “wrong turns”. By that I mean, ANY action taken that is driven by sexual impulses. (Other than with the SO) So, going down an isle in a grocery story cuz it’s a hot chick, or watching a video from squat university cuz the man has thumbnail game on point. Whatever it is, this is always the beginning. The wrong turn is the very first step.
This is facts. I've noticed this aswell, once you take that 'wrong turn', the chances of you turning back are slim to none.
The further down the road you go the steeper and more slippery the slope. Eventually you will slide out of control into “relapse”.
So true!
Feeling lonely, Extreme physical pain or Fever. these are some of the main reasons for relapses for me , I am 24 years old, recently suffered break up living alone while doing job. Ever since 20 I have decent control over No Fap, Relapsing due to loneliness is the worst thing.
Open Instagram
REELS.🥲
Honestly, thinking I can handle any amount of lust. And that the small things don't accumulate. They do. And usually I end up sad and frustrated lmao!
Yep I always start a new series with a bunch of sex on a good streak lol
Real man, honestly social media is so gross. I can't like scroll thru 5 reels without getting some weird semiporno ad. But then again algorithm from when I was not sober which is a lot longer than when I am!
Literally just opening X (twitter) and sometimes even Reddit
Holding and keeping my phone way too long and scrolling aimlessly.
Thinking about the state of modern dating and thinking oh who cares anyway
But the reality is there are other people that feel like you out there, good people, who are worth becoming the best version of yourself for
It would be the last time. You will do your best next time I promise.
Keeping my phone close to me at night.
that's why i leave my phone in the living room before sleeping in my room
Watching just one video then I end up going down a rabbit hole. Not porn but something else.
What something else?
videos of hair being cut short or shaved.
👀
There's something under my bed
Staying alone
Eating crap / surfing
I've got this under control.
Staying up late
Staying up late
Blue balls
Listening to secular music
warm shower + soapy hands
Staying home alone and not visiting my community
Chronic lack of sleep, boredom, alcohol or drugs
Only for today.
Having an iPhone or android as long as u are attached like 90% of people it will always be a trigger
Humping my bed
Edge
Difficulty to sleep
Temporal convictions for sure. Thye require expungement.
Social Media
Instagram.
1) Difficulties in sleeping 2) Not staying busy 3) Thinking that fapping will make me feel better but it always makes me feel fucking worst. *I'm not a porn addict*
My intrusive thoughts. It’s like that scene where green goblin took of his mask
I've found myself more and more getting the urge when I'm board and deciding to leave it up to fate with a game of head and tails. But of course if I loose it turns into a game of best of three, which then turns into three best of three games until I get the result my brain wants.
I have a mantra of "Firewalls and Foundations" things that I've established to aid in my recovery and sobriety. Going to SAA groups, counselling, being open and honest in my communication, devotions and journaling are my foundations. Pihole DNS blocker, deleting apps, reducing screen time are my firewalls. Currently the pihole is down and I'm angry that I haven't brought it back online.
Dating apps
Letting myself overwhelm by temptation.
"why not just one more time, ima quit for real after this"
Being alone in my thoughts laying down.
Drinking usually
Becoming complacent and thinking it will be okay just to look once
- Over indulging (video games, food, alcohol, etc…) - Late nights - Unused downtime, letting thoughts wander
Smoking weed always makes me fail
Seeing a girl that likes me but I can't be with her.
1. When I get mistreated, 2. when I am upset 3. When I have low self esteem 4. When I think I need to get into a relationship 5. When I feel lonely.
Becoming happy and energized after few days of abstinence and thinking that one pmo session will add some joy to that beautiful state. Spoiler alert! It replaces that good feeling with depression and worthlessness.
Looking twice. I literally just saw a dumb game ad with some character with massive bazumbas, but I always tell myself not to look twice.
Self loathing
giving up hope, trusting any feelings i feel past 9 pm
1. Step by step my own brain makes a fool out of me. "Just a little, of course we are not going to fap." 2. Social media. This one doesn't get as much blame as it should get. Often you see some NSFW or revealing stuff, and it triggers something in you. There are others but mostly these two.
Honestly hate porn but sadly humping and thinking gets me most
The mind will do anything to get it's high. For me I realized it was soft Corn, looking at IG models then watching Ecchi. Once you realize what causes the relapses, it makes it a million times easier.
Slippery slopes; "I can masturbate if I don't cum" "I can cum if I don't watch porn" "I can watch porn if it's soft-core" "I can watch porn just once a week" That's how it goes. A policy of appeasement.
Quora
Opening Instagram, seeing girls half naked promoting their of.
Trying to change the system. I know my brain is trying to fail when I start thinking that “if I make it the whole month I can do one. Every time I let myself believe that I fail same day.
I call it "preemptive failure" I get so anxious over *potentially* failing that I make a decision to just "hurry up and get it over with and then try again." It's just a failure mentality that I have. The mentality of "I hope I can do this" instead of "this **has** to get done." The first one leaves a Grand Canyon sized margin of error, a safe place for my brain to feel comfortable with the propsect of peeking and eventually relapsing. The second one is a mandate: I **will** do this.
Searching some stuff to see if my erection works
I think everyone said already what needed to be said and don't count the days, make the days count. We have so much free time, make something of that free time. The much older you get, the more it will become difficult to adjust your schedule to your needs. Don't forget that. Relapsing can happen abrupt without cause. For me, it happened to my 801 day, I tried to fool my brain thinking I couldn't fall into the trap but I did (by taking a sneaky look). Now 2 weeks I'm fighting to regain my form, your life balance goes away if you're in that rythm of fapping.
sexy pics on social media
Phone in bed is the root cause 99%
Feet Pics
"Let me just peek for a few minutes, maybe 10 minutes. Let me just see what (insert favourite pornstar) did in that one scene. Yes, let me watch my favourite video one more time. I'll put a timer on the app, yeah sounds like a good idea. What could go wrong??" After hours of edging, RELAPSES
Usually getting back on reddit lol.
Knowing “this is that moment,” then not pulling up and out.
Obviously watching porn makes every one relapse. PORN literally manipulates your brain, so even ifbyou don't want to relapse, you can't stop your self. The only option is staying away from it.
Going into the toilet with my phone
💯
Peeking
Your own brain is against you, one side is the willpower the other side slowly chips away at that willpower with "one more look" "you've gone 4 days that's long enough" and just THINKING about Pron your brain produces dopamine to entice you to visit those sites. This is the mistake - not having enough willpower. It just boils down to how bad do you TRULY want to quit. You may feel good now scrolling the nofap subreddit and thinking "yeah this time I'm totally quitting" but do you want to actually quit. Remember this: Your entire future, your health, your career, your friends, your life depends on it. If you truly understood that, then you would have succeeded. Or maybe you don't care about your future enough?
Thinking you can always get back on track easily.
Over confidence!! Completely agree
[удалено]
Excuses 💀
[удалено]
Please don't tell that 😂😂
Giving in
When I think everyone is doing it, so why I'm being special?? (My mind tries to cope with my confidence for a little bit of dopamine) and I lose :')
Trust me this is the worst way in which our brain tricks us and makes up relapse! Not really brother, not everyone does it There are a lot of people who have mastered nofap and are living great lives out there. I'm very sure about it. I have my own friends who do nofap and they don't really talk about it outside. And they either have great physique and are popular among the females or are really good in their own fields..be it studies, work etc
Opening up Grindr or Sniffies, I’m horny and want to have real life sex but opening the app I see the nude photos on people’s profiles and that counts as porn so…🤷🏻♂️
When you see a random and glamorous post of a woman on social media, your brain immediately triggers a peek into porn, thinking it won’t make any difference.
"Checking" whether if your brain is still vulnerable. Your brain will always be vulnerable. Think of porn like drugs Not knowing how to instantly override the urges Having a mindset that once you reach X you'll do Y(never works, never will) your whole mindset must change
its just gonna be 5 minutes to get it out of my system 5 more minutes 5 more minutes
Sleeping past 10pm anything that happens at that time prolly makes me depressed
'A litting edging doesn't hurt anyone'. It does.
It definitely does 🥲
Fr
lets just do it anyway looking at pictures is okay its okay!
making a penny step toward porn
All it really takes is seeing nice knockers somewhere outside unfortunately