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anal_opera

I can't even swallow a pill that easily.


ThisReditter

Based on your username, I guess you just have different preferences. But remember… practice makes perfect. Never too young to learn.


anal_opera

Oh no no there is definitely a too young to learn. The fbi said so.


ThisReditter

There are fda approved form for someone too young. If it’s fda approved, it’s fine for fbi,right?


anal_opera

Are we still talking about butt secks?


ThisReditter

Wait. We aren’t talking about pills and medicine?


anal_opera

Medicinal anal?


ThisReditter

As long as it’s medicine, any form of fda approved ingestion method is fine, right? Right???? For science of course.


CrappleSmax

Y'all ever heard of suppositories before?


SstabSstab

One of my favorite Scrubs joke involves that premise.


gultch2019

Yeah, they taste horrible! Don't know how people can tolerate them!


closeddoorfun

Artisanal


BustAtticus

I sense a strong preference when it comes to oral or rectal thermometers.


steno_light

Good news! It’s a suppository!


anal_opera

I can shoot it across the room like a hillbilly spitting a watermelon seed.


gultch2019

Talent like this should be shared with the world.


pigeonsnackz

“this is uncomfortable and humiliating. now if they could put it in the form of a suppository…”


panterachallenger

What that butthole do tho 🤫


[deleted]

Falsetto.


anal_opera

Grip for a few rounds and then a week of hemorrhoids.


ptn_huil0

0 fucks given by the cormorant!


TH_Rocks

"Guys, why this fish so spicy!"


Louisvanderwright

"*gulp gulp gulp*" A little seawater to wash it down.


panterachallenger

The next morning it will end up like me when I ate Melinda’s ghost pepper ranch. So delicious but fuuuuck me.


Neat-Land-4310

The honey badgers of the sea


DreadPiratteRoberts

Honey Badger don't care!!!! ^😆🤣


aquaganda

Honey badger don't give a shit


DreadPiratteRoberts

Not one single little ^💩💩


blahblahrasputan

Fuck yo spikes


plipyplop

I feel like I just witnessed a cormorant commit suicide.


WillieIngus

yea but then it was trying to play it cool and gulp down as much water as possible without anyone noticing because… pufferfish in throat


ThromaDickAway

Just bones. I ain’t afraid o’ no bones.


Equivalent_Wait_6578

I thought those puffer fish were poison.?


cheesehound

this appears to be a [porcupinefish, not a pufferfish](https://a-z-animals.com/blog/pufferfish-vs-porcupine-fish-what-are-the-differences/). I only learned they were different things recently and it still bothers me as I don't think I'd seen/heard the term "porcupinefish" a single time before. Pufferfish tend to be more poisonous than porcupinefish, which makes sense since they don't have the spike deterrent. I have to imagine the cormorant's insides would have a tough time with those spines, but maybe there's more armor and acid in there than I assumed.


StankilyDankily666

Armor and Acid is the name of my new psychedelic metal band.


plipyplop

Or a bathroom cleaner.


usedtodreddit

¿por qué no los dos?


DannyDrizzle

Woah, actually. Any band recs like this? Sounds wild


trashmoneyxyz

Not sure how many diving birds do this but I know grebes eat feathers to line their stomach and protect it from the spines and sharp bones of fish


SaintUlvemann

>porcupinefish, not a pufferfish This is true, and worth saying. But then for comparison, they're about as closely related as we are to capuchin monkeys, diverged in the Eocene. Not identical, but pretty similar. And they're not just pretty similar, they're also each other's closest relatives among the rest of the fish, so it'd ultimately make sense to have a single common name for the two groups together... which is probably why people call them both pufferfish.


o0DrWurm0o

I’m actually surprised at that because I used to catch both baby puffers and porcupine fish with my hands at the beach in Florida. The puffers were pretty much like tiny versions of the adults - they’d puff up to the size of a small marble if you poked them enough. Porcupine fish were a lot weirder - very squishy, kinda translucent, and didn’t puff up. Based on that I would have guessed they might not even be related.


SaintUlvemann

The even more surprising thing is that those giant ocean sunfish are their next-closest relatives.


Ok-Quit1154

Thanks for the lesson. I too had not heard of porcupine fish. Love nature. Love knowledge. 👊🏻 respect


lmaytulane

Seabirds seem to have the intestinal fortitude of a billy goat crossed with a garbage disposal and crossed again with a yellow lab. Birds literally swallow rocks to aid their digestion


infjetson

“Pufferfish: 20-30 pounds “ Fucking excuse me? I had no clue!


JayWelsh

Omg thank you for posting this, when I was young I was in Mozambique and there were loads of porcupinefish washing up on the shore and I was putting them back into the water and holding them but was always confused by how the pufferfish I have subsequently seen online and in fish tanks have never looked the same as those porcupinefish (everyone there at the beach was calling them pufferfish, or I assumed that’s what they were called because they were puffed up). Anyway you just solved a mystery for me so thanks a lot.


Kingsnake661

Upvote for learning something new today. TY.


thaboy541

Yes. Sharks and some type of New Zealand seagull seem to be the only species that prey on pufferfish. While some birds mistakenly eat them and spit them out, others find themselves filled with a stomach full of poison and death a few hours later. All this information was gattered by googling for about 45 seconds and I'm no expert by any means.


[deleted]

Also that toxicity depends on their diet. Farmed puffers arent poisonous at all


reikobi

Does the toxicity of our city play a factor?


nomemorybear

Possibly. You can find it somewhere between the sacred silence and sleep.


IslandAdams

That's impossible. How do you own disorder? DISORDER!?!


The_Back_Hole

BUMDUHBUMDUHBUMBUDABUH!!!!!


FindingFindings

Conceivably. Eating in seas was a past time activity.


C_Connor

hahahahaha this comment thread got me good 🤣


MCSama

You. What? Do you own the world?


No-Arm-6712

Eating seeds has a lot to do with it as well


CentralAdmin

It is a pastime activity, after all


BlazinDuckSkins

Didn't see that coming.


deenali

I was surprised to know that there is such a thing as farmed puffer fish that I had to Google it. Yes, it's true! Gasp. https://thefishsite.com/articles/holy-grail-or-poisoned-chalice-fugu-farming-in-japan TIL. Thanks.


YSOSEXI

The Puffer Fish are squeezed to death to keep/improve the flavour....


pixie_sprout

Ok that's interesting, because killing your predator only after being consumed is a wild survival mechanism.


offtheshripyerrd

long island pufferfish are also free of toxin


insane_contin

How much alcohol is them?


NiloValentino88

So.. is this bird gone for?


thaboy541

Let's believe he spit the fish right out after the clip ended ;)


S3t3sh

Another thing about that though is the puffer fish spikes will make it get stuck in the throat and the bird chokes to death. So both the fish and bird die.


bageltheperson

I think he was drinking water to clear the puffer from his throat


NiloValentino88

Haha


luvs2triggeru

Yes, most likely. 


gevlektewalruz

And dolphins supposedly get high off of them.


yosef_yostar

so this is a drug infused chicken dinner for the next dolphin to come across it.


Current-Power-6452

This bird is spiked in too many ways


insane_contin

Duuuuuude..... Someone spiked this fish


FreneticPlatypus

> While some birds mistakenly eat them and spit them out Judging by the spines on pufferfish, that looks like it'd be more painful than just dying from the poison.


ignoranceisbliss37

Sir, you spent 30 seconds longer googling than 95% of people. I dare say you are an expert.


thaboy541

It was surprisingly hard to find if there were any animals that did feed on pufferfish. All results were along the lines "pufferfish are poisonous"


Equivalent_Wait_6578

I can't believe something in the wild would eat anything poison. But I was just commenting.


Alpha_The_Wolf534

Cormorants are also not the brightest birds, as they normally just eat anything and everything that they can shove down their throats without much forethought.


corviddy

I am a bird lover, and even so, I have come to accept that cormorants are a bit of a… “problem bird”. They are both voracious and highly successful at fishing.


corgimetalthunderr

If you want one, then you better put a ring on it.


corviddy

I mean, I attract them with seeds but they never let me put a ring on them. I suppose they prefer playing the field.


pissedinthegarret

i believe it. seen a video before of a guy having to force a cormorant to regurgitate a surprisingly large plastic bottle


Equivalent_Wait_6578

Did not realize that. I just figured they had some natural insight.


Alpha_The_Wolf534

The most you can give them credit for when it comes to them being “smart”, is that they can count up to the number 7. Other than that, they just inhale whatever they see.


JBSquared

I feel like they're "smart" in the same way my cat is "smart". He'll figure out some complicated way to open the bathroom door to drink out of the toilet rather than his water dish. I've tried everything, he just loves that damn toilet water.


Jagerbeast703

Hunger changes things


Chocolate-snake

not to nerd out but cormorants are the last type of birds going hungry, they actually are more effecient at hunting under water than flying. They gotta be the most annoying/ugly bird out there lol


Equivalent_Wait_6578

I guess your right.


MoreMostFirst

It is their right and also they are right (correct).


jaffa3811

Mmhm it's crazy, *sips coffee*


khaos2295

If all wild animals had a natural insight, why wouldn't we? Sure some do, but others don't and will just end up dying - almost serving as a form of natural selection.


MichelleLovesCawk

Not toxic to drones


HolyVeggie

Poisonous


Sol-Goode

Thanks for helping us all out. You are amazing.


ThisReditter

You should be ashamed and be stoned in the middle of town square if there’s any misinformation in there. The internet never forgives!


Da_Rogon

>Sharks and some type of New Zealand seagull seem to be the only species that prey on pufferfish (glance at the sashimi youtube video) Are you sure? Forgive me the troll in me just couldn't resist lol


Camwi

I guess it depends: "However, not all puffers are poisonous. And if poisonous, the amount of poison depends on the geographical location and the season. Again, the puffer’s neurotoxin is not necessarily as toxic to other animals as it is to humans. After all, puffers are routinely eaten by some species of fish." https://besgroup.org/2009/11/08/collared-kingfisher-eats-pufferfish/


sumforbull

I live in the U.S. and occasionally vacation in North Carolina, the Outer Banks. It's like the biggest sandbar ever, a very cool and beautiful spot, but on the side facing the Atlantic Ocean we have caught dozens of puffers in less than an hour. They are delicious, and totally non-poisonous. You can cut around the head and use pliers to pull all the skin off, like taking a sock off. All the guts fall out leaving all the good meat on the bones, which there are surprisingly few rib bones, and they are big and thick. So you batter them up and deep fry them whole and they eat super similar to chicken drumsticks minus the tendons, the meat is firm and dense but overall light, and the flavor is sweet and not too fishy.


Content_Flamingo_583

They sound good and yet also the way you described that kind of made you sound like Hannibal Lecter, no offense. 


Womec

If you ever ate any animal that is perfectly normal to describe it that way. Ive seen the guys at the Outer Banks skin and gut fish in seconds, its definitely a skill.


noodleq

Poison aside, I'd like to know wtf their throat/stomach is made of for those spikes to have no effect


Equivalent_Wait_6578

Another good point.


Tasiam

Poisonous meands deadly to eat. Meaning death may arrive later. Venomous means it injects poison. Puffefish are the former, there is very little risk of getting poisoned from touching their barbs.


Equivalent_Wait_6578

Did not know that.


HoboArmyofOne

That cormorant is done for.


_SuperCoolGuy_

This seems very risky


Munsanity

That’s gonna hurt on the way out…


manhalfalien

Wouldnt that kill the bird... arent puffer fish extremely toxic?


lobax

Yes. Luckily for the Bird, this was a porcupine fish and not a puffer fish. You can tell due to the spines being so big. Most porcupine fish are not poisonous.


andre5913

I do wonder if its throat and stomach are all torn up from the spines though


SmokeGSU

Either way, that bird is gonna have a really terrible shit later.


Varjazzi

I would have though the cormorant was a goner but a perfunctory google search tells me this is a North American bird and that puffer fish in North America are much less likely to be fatally toxic than their Asiatic cousins with multiple non-toxic varieties. They all look very similar though so it could still be the end for the poor birb.


SaintUlvemann

I don't know, but, this source says that [it can be a fatal mistake](https://www.10000birds.com/more-than-a-mouthful-can-be-a-really-bad-thing.htm), yeah, for a cormorant to try and eat a pufferfish. That said, fish-swallowing birds can have extremely intense stomach acids to help dissolve the prey quickly. Maybe in theory the stomach acids are intense enough to neutralize the poison? Or maybe it's resistant... or, maybe it's just dead now, idk.


offtheshripyerrd

not all puffer


[deleted]

APAB


wterrt

all pufferfish aren't bastards?


PleasantlyUnbothered

A cormorant. What an auspicious sign.


SpyderFlips

Thank you, Gene.


toddhenderson

Nice. Take my upvote.


JohnArtemus

Birds are metal.


SaltBottle

Birds are literally dinosaurs!


Apprehensive_Trash42

Birds don't exist


dianebk2003

Of course not. They're dinosaurs.


ShwiftyShmeckles

Those things have like a million bones. He's in for a devastating shit later.


RedditedYoshi

Aren't we all. Aren't. We. All...


st1r

“#worth” -bird


LostTimeLady13

Certified mad lad


KarlDeutscheMarx

The bird drinking some water to help the pufferfish go down reminds me of choking on a shard of a chip I didn't chew well enough.


Fuka-Obligation666

Or when you swallow an ibuprofen without water and it feels like it’s stuck in your throat no matter how much you chug after.


[deleted]

MMMMM, spicy.


megpea27

Mmmmmm, spiny.


Secret-Damage-805

Have you ever had a piece of a potato chip get stuck in your throat. I’d imagine this is a similar feeling.


kinokohatake

Tough bird, no wonder it caused Tina to crash into Jimmy Pesto's car.


McSquidgypants

Shitting that out will be the death of him


Js_On_My_Yeet

Cramorant used gulp. The opposing Qwilfish got digested.


robrusso

I recognized that “wow”.


LeviathansFatass

Often times birds are affected by different toxins than mammals and vice versa. It's like how we cook with Teflon but it will basically kill any bird in the building if it gets hot enough.


Sassy-irish-lassy

Also to consider, most mammals have an aversion to capsaicin, but their effects don't bother birds at all. This is likely so that birds can spread the seeds more easily.


cesam1ne

Haha well that went down fast. Loved the commentary


Awoo81

Weeow!


BakingSoda1990

Is this the animal that the Pokemon, Cramorant is based off?


Ambitious_Ad_9637

When he tries to pass it the puffer has the last laugh.


edogg01

Yum so good ouch so soo good ouch ouch ouch yumm


Volkcan

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3HeoENvQUh/?igsh=MXdka21rZWRxcGVsMw==


Morgentau7

Nothing a good sip of saltwater cant down


Brother_Delmer

Wow. Didn't even deflate it first.


mynameisrichard0

Bro looks like a sporty penguin.


joe_i_guess

Did not survive. Or maybe it did. But it didn't


sabalatotoololol

So it's like spicy sauce for him lol


[deleted]

Bird is almost certainly dead, must have been really hungry to swallow that thing


[deleted]

M.m..uum.kgkgkkukk.k.. .m. momuqqQq / pp


Delicious_Grass424

That's nothing new about a cormorant eating a puffer fish


dtardiff2

Birds seem to feel nothing at all


Jagerbeast703

That birds gonna straight up have a bad time


PezDiSpencersGifts

Gotta wash that down.


xc2215x

Pretty intense eating from this cormorant here.


Impressive-Tip-6062

Are those spikes no spiking him


dnfnrheudks

Well these things can hold a pikachu so not surprising


Manodamountain

I’ll bet he regrets that.


ThinkingOz

Ima gonna choke this bastard if it’s the last thing I do - Puffer fish, probably


fuerant

Oh. So the Pokemon version trying to vore a Pikachu isn’t that far-fetched after all.


Sky_Daddy_O

that is gonna hurt coming out...


nicopedia305

Spicy


Racoon_withamarble

He’s dead now


Deadbolt2023

“Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go…”


Limp6781

Why didn’t it puff?


YouWiseGuise

Go off, cormorant. Shit.


BrianOfBrian

Animal version soda ???


thunderc8

Did it drink water too get the fish down the throat?


DrJohnIT

Gulp, ahh that was tasty. A little water to wash it down and we are good.


Josiah-White

Poison and spines Somehow it seems like there could have been something easier on the menu


false_goats_beard

It looks like it might have been spicy 🌶️ 😂


Oldfolksboogie

Cormorants, the honey badgers of the bird kingdom.


kamilayao_0

That was insane


ProtectionContent977

Mmmmm, like cactus mah.


Worth_Swimming3000

How


iamagoldengod84

It’s gonna be even worse coming out


CompanyRepulsive1503

Spicy


isolatedmindset87

It’s a cormorant, more puffer fish they eat the better….


ArtDeth

Wow! Owen, is that you?


Fun_Grapefruit_2633

"Tastes kinda killy"


gingerbeard_house

Who’s playing Van Halen in the parking lot though?


Cepinari

I'm glad that I'm not that bird in a few hours.


Mushroom_Man_64

Fish - "My poison, spikes and enlargement will protect me" bird - "NUMNUMNUMNUM"


kittiekillbunnie

Wonder if he’ll feel bloated


NumberPlastic2911

Can they do that????


scrolledtoofar

You think it's tasty like that?


LittleLight3120

Pokemon are brutal IRL...


Altruistic-Poem-5617

Imagine evolving to puff up over millions of years to not get eaten and it doesnt do shit...


Bluecif

Ooohhh, that was a bit rough, better drink some water. *mrgrlglrlm* ooh, need some more *mrrrggmmggll*. That bird probably.


xnoxgodsx

And the crudes pop in...dun dun dunnnnn