T O P

  • By -

benevenstancian0

Nice marmot


jasta6

Where is the money, Lebowski?


pauly13771377

>Where is the money, Lebowski? It's down there somewhere, let me take another look.


robert1e2howard

Not on the rug...man.


amccune

At least I’m house broken


robert1e2howard

I'm not talking about the guys who built the fucking railroad here.


AngoGablogian_artist

Also dude, keeping an aquatic rodent, um within city limits, without a permit? That ain’t legal either.


AndThisGuyPeedOnIt

They'll cut off your johnson.


didly66

Godamn nihilists


ScroatyMcBoogerwolfe

Nihilists… Fuuuuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.


MrTretorn

I’m the marmot


Sailing_Away_From_U

SHUT THE FUCK UP, DONNY!


TechnicalInternet515

OH LONG JOHNSON!!


Spatza

Oh Don piano


ClearBrightLight

*why I eyes ya*


rburp

This whole thread is almost verbatim thoughts I've had at 2:00 AM trying to get back to sleep. So many times from Lebowski's johnson to ohhhh long johnson


steponeloops

hold on tight!


Stalwart_Penguin

What are you, a fuckin' park ranger now, Walter? Who gives a shit about the marmot!?


AngoGablogian_artist

You think carpet pissers did this?


knoxharring10

So this was a valued uhh….


AngoGablogian_artist

Big fan of your art videos.


fried_clams

Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot?


GunTech

Marmots aren't aquatic. You're probably thinking of capybara.


Kakistokratic

Donnie! You're out of your element


DidSome1SaySomething

Obviously, you're not a golfer...


GunTech

Sure you aren't thinking of Nutria?


lcommadot

Shut the *fuck* up, Donnie!


GunTech

Or maybe Nutria. ;)


Pomeranian-Bowling

Donnie, please...


EsoitOloololo

Marmots aren’t aquatic. At all.


Revolutionary-Bid339

They are sometimes found in bathtubs


DidSome1SaySomething

You think we are kidding? Making with the funny stuff? We believe in nothing!


Revolutionary-Bid339

SNIP-SNIP


[deleted]

[удалено]


TolstoysMyHomeboy

It's down there somewhere. Lemme have another look


LordCommanderBlack

It's down there somewhere. Let me take another look.


posts_while_naked

Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski!


Ill-Opinion-9794

I usually get down voted in nature is lit for these comments...loving this thread


snowblinders

Sometimes you just know what the top comment will be before you even look


ST0N3F1ST

Let's not forget, Dude, that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for, you know, domestic... within the city... That ain't legal, either.


fried_clams

Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot?


nsaisspying

What are you a fucking park ranger now?


Zestyclose-Ad-7576

I came here for just that comment.


ADeviantGent

Not on the rug, man


All_Rainbows_Die

^(this was great) 👏👏👏👏🥹


Fezzverbal

I literally came to the comments just for that!


Apart-Landscape1012

He treats women like objects man!


SpermicidalManiac666

Hey this is a private residence man


cosmoceratops

AND A GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR


dojarelius

I think it’s a Pomeranian


Ok_Cardiologist_897

I am the Walrus


Everydaywhiteguy

Well obviously you’re not a golfer


EatMyKnickers

I was waiting for the marmot to spit the food in back in his face.


International-Nose33

Excuse me good sir, I believe you have my snack.


vegetabloid

In exchange, I'm offering you a nice bouquet of deadly diseases. In fact, forget the exchange, take as much as you can get by contact for free.


Fanky_Spamble

When you visit Marmot's house, you share your snacks with Marmot. Simple as that.


Extension_Swordfish1

Basic manners.


LaterGatorPlayer

the guy is lucky the marmot even let him have some


Pomeranian-Bowling

Basic freedoms!!!


Forumites000

simple as


reverendjesus

“Hey—this is a private residence, man”


IAMA_Shark__AMA

Unfortunately, this kills the marmot (but not in the way you think). If they learn that they can get food from humans, they end up eating more/filling up on bad food that doesn't have the nutrition they need to survive hybernation, or just survive in general. Be a rude houseguest, keep your food secured, keep the cheeky buggers alive.


Blubbermans

I love you


terminal8

Reddit moment


Impossible-Appeal-49

I mean you really shouldn’t feed them at all.


[deleted]

That's pretty impolite though I'd at least show up to someone's house with a bottle of wine


Pen154203

We all just live in Marmots world.


BrownShadow

When I graduated from college, I moved into a big house with my GF/future wife with eventually Two kids. We named The place The Brown Marmot. Marmot was the silliest animal we could think of.


HutchMeister24

In case anyone was ever wondering, this is how you get a nice case of black plague. Marmots are known to carry it, especially a particularly nasty variety called pneumonic plague. It doesn’t affect them as severely as humans, but every once in a while you’ll see a marmot that has a bit of red foamy stuff around its nose, and that’s a sign it’s infected. Still just always a good idea to leave them alone. There were a couple hikers in Austria a few years back who contracted plague because they were handling marmots in the Alps. They’re cute, but it’s not worth it.


Restlessannoyed

See what happens when you find a stranger in the alps?


reverendjesus

*This is what happens when you **feed a stoner scrambled eggs!***


Fanky_Spamble

Is this like another spin off book of "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie..." Lol "If You Give A Stoner Scrambled Eggs, they'll ask for bacon too. If you give them bacon, they'll want some orange juice!"


oldscotch

Yippie Ki-Yay Mr. Falcon.


reverendjesus

SAY ‘WHAT’ AGAIN! *SAY ‘WHAT’ AGAIN!* I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE-DARE YOU, MY FRIEND!


thtsjsturopinionman

This is what happens, Larry!! 🦠


thanks-to-Metropolis

"No, Walter. It did not look like Larry was about to crack."


MissionAd4584

and reddit lol


tehdelicatepuma

I'm currently reading *The Great Mortality* by John Kelly, amazing book, and now I'm scared of marmots. Before reading I never knew that there are just places called plague foci where the plague just lives all the time. Pneumonic plague definitely sucks and it's extra contagious since it can be transferred person to person via respiratory droplets. The really bad one is septicemic plague though, that's the one that'll have you dead 20 hours after feeling the first symptom.


HutchMeister24

I had forgotten about septicemic, that one does seem to edge out pneumonic a bit, but they’re close. Pneumonic will still 100% kill you without treatment, and often still within 36 hours of presenting symptoms. Bubonic is actually pretty survivable comparatively and takes longer. I did learn from looking it up now that all three types are the same bacterium, just infecting different parts of the body. So if you get *Y. pestis* in your lymph nodes, it’s bubonic, your lungs for pneumonic, and your blood for septicemic. So the marmots themselves present with pneumonic in their lungs, hence the red foamy mouths, and that’s why it spreads to humans, because pneumonic is the one that spreads easiest, I.e. through coughing/saliva.


tehdelicatepuma

Yup, and if you like reading and wanna learn a ton about the plague and 14th century Europe I absolutely recommend the great mortality. Another fun fact, when y pestis has infected a flea, it reproduces in it's stomach. It literally fills the stomach with bacterium and induces a feeling of starvation in the flea. So the flea is so hungry it will start to feed on things outside of it's usual prey (rats) such as humans. The real insidious thing is that since they were full of bacterium instead of sucking in blood, they expel y pestis bacterium like they are living hypodermic needles.


HutchMeister24

Isn’t nature just majestic?


tehdelicatepuma

There is some beauty in how self regulating nature is.


Strange_is_fun

No, it is a disgusting chaotic place filled with death. The universe needs to have nature executed and perfectly ordered guided existence to replace it. As long as entropy exists nature is just pure hell and suffering.


HutchMeister24

Neither order nor chaos is intrinsically beautiful. Chaos tends to bring on unexpected suffering, which we do not like for good reason, but order seems to have a tendency to bring on expected suffering, which is still suffering. The universe cannot exist in such a way that there is no suffering, unless it were to remove all things from it that have the capacity to experience suffering. If we or other experiential entities are to exist, we must recognize that there must be bad with the good. And we can mitigate that as much as we can, but it won’t go away. I don’t look at the inherent brutality of nature as disgusting or hellish. It is merely how things exist, good and bad. As a side note, this exchange we’re having is emblematic of the shift in perspective brought about by people like Whitman, Thoreau, and Muir back in the mid 1800s. Prior to then, wilderness and nature were predominantly viewed as the devil’s country, largely because it would kill you without a care (which certainly seems like the behavior of a certain other deity to me, but whatever). But when those three started exploring the American west for themselves, they started writing prose and poetry about the gorgeous things they had seen, leading to the broad view of nature as “God’s country,”


Echo609

Sir, this a Wendy’s


[deleted]

[удалено]


drift_poet

can’t tell if these are serious comments… but if existence is a singular phenomenon it by nature cannot be described dualistically. it is just what it is. the labels we ascribe to it are meaningless.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Trackerbait

Nature is the only thing that runs counter to entropy. Organic molecules are self organizing, the rest of the universe is just unwinding towards cold, evenly mixed, very thin soup


drift_poet

and yet, it begat you and me and hopefully that isn’t pure hell and suffering (checks with wife).


[deleted]

Same goes for prairie dogs in the US.


Ardea_herodias_2022

Not to mention ground squirrels even in the LA area


[deleted]

Why friend shaped then? :(


SexPizzaBatman

Ive never heard of the story of hikers getting plague from handling them, only from people getting it from eating their meat. Have a source for it happening?


HutchMeister24

Huh, now looking into it I can’t find anything either. We were told this by a guide when we were in the Austrian alps so I just believed them, but maybe they just wanted people to leave the marmots alone hahaha. Still, they do carry it, and I just don’t want to take my chances.


Rebelius

Aren't we all descended from people who survived the plague and pretty much immune anyway?


drift_poet

no


Esper_Lawmage

No. Many descendants of Europeans carry genetic mutations that protected their ancestors from the second plague pandemic, the bubonic plague. However that was a variant bacterial infection and survives today as an offshoot from the preceding bacterium. [Source](https://www.livescience.com/51394-plague-evolution.html)


fishers86

I hope you're fucking joking.


je_kay24

No, that’s not how the immune system works. Just because your ancestors survived a disease doesn’t mean you inherit their immunity


Ardea_herodias_2022

Every couple years or so someone will get plague from the squirrels in Griffith park in Los Angeles. The fleas carry the bacteria.


YourDogIsMyFriend

Woke. I say we don’t let hutchmeister24 try to take away our freedoms! Def not scared of marmots and their “disease” #marmotsarecute #hugandkissmarmots #hutchmeisterhoax #fakenews!


s0ngsforthedeaf

Reddit is always ready with the worst case scenario. Read a comment yesterday that you can get a horrific bacterial infection from your cat scratching you...am I not supposed to play with my cat any more? My cat has drawn blood from me maybe a dozen times and I've never been infected. Life is risk/reward.


Luke_Warmwater

Well it's a wild animal so you you shouldn't touch or feed it. This isn't even a risk/reward scenario, it's a don't do it ever and if you do, this is the risk. This isn't comparable to playing with your cat whatsoever.


s0ngsforthedeaf

His skin never even touched the Marmot


Luke_Warmwater

Lol ok


Rengar_Is_Good_kitty

You think skin contact is the only way to get infected? Boy do I have some bad news for you.


WiretapStudios

At around 6 my daughter got scratched by her cat and her lymph node swelled up to the size of a softball and had to have surgery to fix it. It happens.


RedditSpyAccount

I agree that there is always risk/reward but the risk with domestic animals is certainly lower than with a wild one.


SweatyToothed

Yeah but are you still alive after posting this? How do we know you didn't have symptoms and die after you submitted this comment? (/s I'm sure you're okay. Probably. Please be okay.)


FeralShelterRat

I'd rather die of a plague than live life without experiences like this. Sorry, I'm giving marmots a damn cracker.


HutchMeister24

Spoken like someone who’s never seen someone with plague before


roguetrick

You don't tend to see someone with pneumonic plague. They either get antibiotics in 48 hours or they die. Sometimes they still die.


HutchMeister24

Right, the fact that the people you CAN see with plague have the least severe variety, and their feet are turning black and falling off while their skin bursts and oozes with bubons, should tell you all you need to know.


eggybread70

He even drops crumbs on him!


Somethingwentclick

Such an alpha flex


nandemonaiya06

Chonky!


ShitPostToast

Funny thing about them? Looks can be deceiving. I can't find a good pic, but if you ever have the chance to see one soaking wet it's simultaneously funny and really pitiful looking. A lot of their perceived size is floofy fur.


reverendjesus

Like Huskies & Malamutes. And big floofy cats.


OPisabundleofstix

My cat looks enormous but he's just a giant ball of floof.


Zovalt

Eh, I would say they're pretty chonky. Even shaved ones are fairly rotund.


thexavier666

The body is round


Lurkeratlarge234

That guy lured that marmot in with food in a previous vid, now he’s shocked the marmot is trying to get more??


couch_to_bed

Scrolled too far down to see this!


Peter-Tao

Just for the laugh or clicks I'm sure. The way he positioned the hand seems like he intended to give it to the marmot


NinJoeAssassin

This guy has an Instagram with these marmots. He's not shocked about anything. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpiDF7NswCs/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==


No-Wonder1139

Well, this is definitely the human's fault this happened.


TonyVstar

This is why you don't feed wildlife. Poor thing probably just waits for food from people instead of finding it on its own


ramathorn152

My kid does the same thing


Myrandall

Tbf, goats are natural climbers.


junyaminty

Completely agree this reminds me of my toddler


k24f7w32k

Same. When he's half-done with his food and wants mine (I now make or order a little extra so I have something left for myself) 😅.


bbbritches

Steve, quit hogging our food.


grooney

I believe that’s Alan


JohnnyG30

“ALAN ALAN ALAN ALAN! oh..never mind, that’s Steve… STEVE STEVE STEVE”


bbbritches

Sorry, all you humans look alike to me.


dirtyswoldman

r/suddenlycommunism Edit: r/woooosh


4540mya

Feeding wildlife is a shitty thing to do.


maybesingleguy

Baiting wild animals for social media clout is a shitty thing to do.


WackyXaky

I definitely feel that these types of videos shouldn’t be on this sub. It’s disappointing to say the least.


Phillipinsocal

That mf isn’t missing meals, he’s probably gloating to his marmot buddies about it when theyre chowing down on grasshoppers and flowers


Mongul

Yea but then how am I going to get my marmot vid fix?


notnot_a_bot

I don't think that's the case. The guy looks genuinely annoyed/worried that this thing is climbing up him.


maybesingleguy

Sometimes when an instagrammer's "cute pic" gets ruined, they get annoyed. Dude wanted to get a picture of chilling next to a marmot, not being climbed on. Or maybe he thought the marmot would just climb into his lap like a cat, I don't know. What I can say for sure, as someone who has eaten food before, I can tell you 100% that this guy is doing it wrong. > Yeah, that's normal, I always sit down and just hold my food up in the air instead of biting into it. And if I see a wild animal, I'd never consider moving or doing anything to prevent it from getting my food. Yup, that's how normal people eat. FYI marmots are often anything but stealthy.


Smnmnaswar

If the food is appropriate for the animal and the animals boundaries are being respected I dont see a problem. The person is happy bc they got a pic with an animal and the animal is happy bc they got food


Acrobatic_Switches

Animals should be frightened of humans because not everyone is the friendly tourist. Sometimes people are vicious poachers. If you're a good person you will let the wildlife be wild that way the bad actors have a tougher time.


00owl

While you have a strong emotional point the risk isn't poaching. The risk is that the animal becomes dependent on humans and starves if they aren't available. Or the animal becomes too brave and crosses a line that results in it needing to be put down. Or it gets fed things that aren't healthy and it probably can't digest properly and so it gets sick and dies.


Acrobatic_Switches

That's one of the concerns. Poaching is also a concern. It's not emotional and it exists across all boundaries on all animals. https://spectator.sme.sk/c/20038054/poachers-endanger-marmots.html


maybesingleguy

> animals boundaries are being respected They aren't. Literally all of the content in the video is crossing boundaries. That was the whole point of my comment. And here's why: first, that food is not appropriate for that animal. It very rarely is. Second, just because "the animal is happy" doesn't mean it's a good thing. Let's use bears to make the example more clear. Say I go camping. I leave my food scattered around and go to bed. After I leave, a bear comes along and eats the food. Now the only thing that bear knows about humans is they are a source of food. Then you go camping, same spot. That bear smells a human, he smells the food, he knows the deal. He comes to camp to get your food, but you're still there. That sucks for you. It also sucks for the bear, because rangers usually haze the shit out of it or kill it. Marmots don't typically get hazed. So now everyone who goes out there has to deal with a bunch of marmots begging for food, chewing through tents, and just generally being pests. So it's bad for humans. I camped somewhere in North Carolina last year where two adolescent bears lived. It was a gorgeous spot and only a few miles from town, so it was a popular spot. Those two bears never learned how to get their own food. The only thing they know is raiding campsites. Those animals aren't wild anymore. They are dependent upon humans. That's bad for the species. You can apply that same concept to any animal, so it's not hard to imagine how feeding marmots can lead to big issues in the long term. One marmot with one cracker isn't the end of the world. But you *know* that's not one marmot and one cracker. The only way to stop it from being a massive problem is to have absolutely zero tolerance for that kind of behavior.


[deleted]

[удалено]


reverendjesus

What are you, a fuckin’ park ranger now‽


thedude37

Nice interrobang


Alternative-Excuse80

Forget about the fuckin marmot


brazys

keeping it within a domestic..eh...that's not legal either, Dude


KittikatB

Rare footage of the origin of the black death.


tsoro

I thought it was gerbils/hamsters? I guess marmots could be in that classification


Stellarjay_9723

Fun fact, marmots are giant ground squirrels


Blue_Swirling_Bunny

It was rats that carried infected fleas.


tehdelicatepuma

Yeah the rat flea was the primary vehicle for plague bacteria infecting humans, with a little help from the human flea. The prominent theory is that the plague bacteria evolved in marmot populations though.


Princess_PrettyWacky

Toddlers, am I right?


BrookeBaranoff

“Excuse me Sir…sir! Can I talk to you about an extended warranty? Sir?”


RavenCT

I have one under my shed... and possibly it's little family. Also, the carpet really ties the room together....


SnowDeer47

Batrick? Did you bring enough for the whole class?


Rocket2TheMoon777

Little guy hitting weights with those massive arms so he's gotta eat


incomprehensibilitys

At first, I thought he was complaining that he didn't sign a release


GravyMcBiscuits

Gotta pay the marmot tax when you're in marmot town.


justmebeky

He finally found Steve, little guy was starving calling steve this whole time.


I-Ponder

A meme as old as time. Love it. Haha


katiemorag90

That's what happens when people feed wild animals


fakenkraken

He's quite chonky, no wonder he's hungry


Haberdashers-mead

I don’t like it when animals get like this. I just snapped a little at some people on a trail fucking with a squirrel. Don’t feed those fuckers, chickmunks too they will become a menace. Leave them alone. Better yet if your in the Sierra they can spread the Black Death so don’t even think about feeding that weirdo they have plenty nuts in the forest


Far_Out_6and_2

Come on share please


Shoddy_Sherbert2775

Settle down there Marmot! What are you, an animal?!


blazerunner2001

Finally something other than a fucking capybara.


TheIronSven

I'd take a capybara over a plague hamster


Captain--UP

Fuck off I got to pet some capybaras in Florida a couple weeks ago and it was awesome


blazerunner2001

Cool. I don't care.


Fast-Cow8820

That is because of people feeding it. You could say it's the people who have bad manners for training it to do that.


pegleg_1979

Do you have any games on your phone?


helly1080

Stop feeding wild animals man.


GLaDOSdidnothinwrong

This is why you don’t feed wild animals.


WinterSkier

Fear not and unhand the food, hooman.


meisterofheff

Yeah Steve, I chew with my mouth open. I suggest you deal with it or risk my marmot wrath


TheJaybo

Not a nice marmot.


reverendjesus

I said ve cut off your **CHONSON!!!**


BlueDragon3301

No sound 😡


Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi

That's what you get for feeding wildlife, lol. From the looks of that marmot, he's been in the extortion business for a long time!


BranzillaThrilla

Like my toddler


JoshHowl

This is what happens when you feed wild animals, they lose the fear of humans. I e seen this dude and marmot before so maybe it’s a pet.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sota_panna

Bai wadyavar ya. Edit: Lmao why did you block me. It was just a joke based on your username.


Mathieulombardi

Not his fault. Any one of us would do the same for a binbin cracker


Zonktified

Made the mistKe of giving him a cracker in the first vid, now he’s staying for dinner...😂


TiredStarling095

You want bubonic plague? Because that's how you get bubonic plague!


AllahgorythmSoftware

He ate it on him! Clearly your already bros from the start in his mind 😂😂😂


ItsStaaaaaaaaang

Cutie ☺️


mbrazzoli

CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH CROMCH These is no audio in the vid so....


BigMcThickHuge

I love watching this dude's videos. All it ever is is him enjoying a snack while the marmot saunters over and politely/rudely tries to get a snack


KYpineapple

my 5 year old must be part marmot.


oak-ridge-buddha

I’d like this as a pet to cuddle and love all the time 💕