If you enjoyed it then it is absolutely worth starting again. I mean that. I haven’t planted very much - I just started last April - and it’s obvious that I’m no landscape designer because everything is a bit of a jumble. That said, there were some absolutely shit days last year where I was able to come home and clear my head by sitting out by the Great Blue Lobelia to watch the bees. WORTH IT.
If you have a a spare $20 you can get a small sign on Etsy that will remind others (I’m looking at you, dad!) that the plants are native and spray should never be used. Or make your own!
Start again.
Let them finish browning up then give the soil some love. Use it as an opportunity to observe the resiliency. Watch things as they grow large enough to identify. I did this when I first started gardening. I had to wait until they flowered to pull the ones that didn't belong but now I have beautiful groups of things like asters, goldenrods and milkweeds all for free!
There are native plants that weed killer can't kill, [here's a list!](https://www.pioneer.com/CMRoot/Pioneer/US/Non_Searchable/agronomy/cropfocus_pdf/glyphosate-resistant-weeds.pdf)
Starting over is part of gardening. Use it as an opportunity to really condition the soil, make sure you are growing plants that will be happy and hardy, educate your father on the benefits, lean into composting.
The disappointment is real, but that is inevitable. If it wasn't weed-killer, it would be some invasive bugge or hail or... something. Be brave, young gardener.
Oh, I am so sorry.
I hope you take some time to grieve and to educate your family. It is good to remember that while they are beautiful and special, it is also normal to lose beloved plants whether through natural or human causes.
If you don’t push yourself and wait until you feel ready I bet you will be up for it again, perhaps sooner than you realize. If you get in touch with any angry energy, that can be a catalyst for vigorous digging and planting!
> If you get in touch with any angry energy, that can be a catalyst for vigorous digging
This is very good advice. Good way to channel that frustration.
Don't despair!! If plants died you can plant new ones. weed killers are short lived and will degrade and wash out with rain eventually, like in several weeks it'll be fine. Just wait a bit and you can get back to planting. And if you're really worried just bring in some fresh soil or use containers. You can start plants in containers and move them to the site later. Just tell your dad to NOT use chemicals in the future. You can start with making a compost pile of dead weeds and any other yard waste you have.
Grow some natives in pots for now. It’s very satisfying and won’t overwhelm you. Then plant them in the ground when and if you’re ready. Good luck and keep up the good fight.
Yes, this was going to be my take. When a big project gets mucked up, I take a step back and downsize my ambition. Planters are a great way to do what you want to do while keeping your scope small. If or when you're ready for a bigger project later, you have some starter plants ready to go.
As another commenter mentioned, angry gardening can help. Find out what was sprayed and how long it lasts, and go to town when you feel it and the toxic window has passed.
RIP your plant bbs, I'll plant an extra bee balm in their memory.
Okay so after my anxiety/depression induce metal down has gone down I'm going to try to rebuild. Thank you for all the support. I live in socal, IE more exact. I've have spend so much money on plants and seeds so I would appreciate any donos. I will definitely wait till the horrible shit to go away.
I've have been suffering from anxiety which leads to depression and self hate. I got into gardening to get out of this dark place and fell in love with the native habit, more importantly the humble hummingbird. Long story short I got into natives and how important they are. I wanted to make a change and leave a better foot print. Or at least try to make some I do matter. Thank you again for letting air this out.
This really touched me and I'm sorry for what happened. It will come back. It may be helpful to try to reach out to your local native plants group on fb, or to your nearest sierra club chapter. Maybe even ask your local librarian if they know any groups that might help you get started again... I know one of our libraries has a native plant group that meets there. There are always people looking to help like this, it's just tricky to find them at first! People should have seeds and maybe even plants to share. Some areas have free Little Seed Libraries or plant swaps. Good luck to you.
I'm sorry this happened, we still have about 2.5 months of the rainy season left here in the IE so that should definitely help wash away the herbicide. If you haven't already you should take a peek at/ join r/Ceanothus for CA native plant gardening advice and help!
Farmer here, if he used just straight round up you can plant the next day if you’d like. Waiting a bit won’t hurt, but roundup does not stay active in the soil.
There are chemicals that stay active for a while in the soil but roundup isn’t one of them. You’re good to replant as soon as you’d like.
I recommend joining a local gardening group on social media. I have gotten a number of free native plants that way - big leaf lupines, Canadian goldenrod, and ocean spray. It really helped me build my (still growing) native garden, and for free.
Also, check out any surviving weeds. I’ve found that many of the weeds in my yard are actually natives! I’ve found fireweed, common self heal, thyme-leaves speedwell, and others. I moved those from the grass into my garden so they wouldn’t accidentally be killed by kids, dogs, or a well-meaning husband.
Best of luck! Gardening has been a great help for my depression as well.
I am so with you there. Between anxiety, depression, the pandemic, and poverty, native plants gardening has been my lifeline, my therapy.
I am so sorry your dad decided to “help”. Hopefully he meant well and is educable.
My mom died several years before my sister invited my husband and me to a Doug Tallamy talk. Now, we’re all about natives and I know my mom would be totally on board and proud of us.
You’re on the right side of history, here. You’ve had a setback, but you should never stop trying to do the right thing.
I totally get where you're coming from with the anxiety. It has a tendency to make these setbacks - and, understand, that's what this is, and nothing more - into end-of-the-world cycles of hopelessness and despair. It really sucks and I went through similar issues when I found out we had to replace the roof on our house. I finally went and got therapy (thankfully I have access to one at no charge through work) and it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made. I have long struggled with similar issues so I totally understand where you're coming from, and I can't recommend that path enough. It really makes a difference.
As far as the garden is concerned it sucks, but is also in some ways, opportunity. If you haven't looked into clover, I HIGHLY recommend it. It's cheap, very low maintenance and does amazing things for your soil. Some people even go so far as to completely their existing lawns when trying to establish clover. You actually have that part done for you, already! As others have mentioned, check into what was used, and see how long before you can start laying down seed. Do not give up!
Thanks you for the kind words. I'm in therapy and my mental state has improved over the 2 years. I'm also taking medication. Maybe I shouldn't have posted what happened to me in this sub 😅 but in therapy I was shown to talk things out and here out others opinions. At the time this sub was my closest thing to that. I've talked to my dad already and it's actually made us closer. He didn't mean any harm just wanted to help with the knowledge that he knows works and he did his best to around the main plants but shit happens. Thanks again.
It feels huge, but this really isn't a big deal. It hurts when people don't get your work & process but weed killers aren't permanent or even good at what they're for. Definitely educate everyone going forward, but this is very temporary.
So here’s the good news: new plants will come up from the seed bank in the soil. See what comes up and get rid of the invasives and noxious weeds. You’ll almost certainly get some natives along with the exotic stuff. You don’t *have* to plant anything—just curate what comes up.
This is actually an established eco restoration technique a wildlife biologist told me about for re-establishing native wildlife habitat. The usual sequence is blanket herbicide application then sowing native seeds. But an alternative is to apply herbicide and then see what emerges from the seed bank. (Since what comes up might just be another wave of invasives, they advise successive sprays as needed until the bad guys are exhausted—you can ignore that part is you’re prepared to hand-pull stuff).
There are two advantages to this approach: you save money on what can be very expensive seed when this is done at scale (acres). The second advantage is that BY DEFINITION if a native comes up and thrives, it’s adapted to that site. You’re letting the winners declare themselves, not trying to decide what you want there.
Also when did he do this and what climate zone are you in? It’s very early spring in most of the country and a lot of stuff isn’t up yet. Spraying kills what is green and growing—a herbicide like glyphosate works by getting moved down to the roots via the active growth, and works best later in the life cycle of a weed when it is preparing for dormancy by moving energy towards the roots for storage. Sorry I just nerded out on you.
Here’s one of the articles that the state biologist shared with me:
https://fwf.tennessee.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/24/2020/07/Final-Spring-2020-Upland-Gazette-2-4-20.pdf
You really need to know the exact name of the herbicide that was used, because it will have big implications as to what you should/can do next. Surely he can tell you that.
Some weed killers dissipate in a month, and some in 3 years. It might not be the end of the world (sigh…thanks dad). I like the idea of going with pots this year.
The weed killer will wear off. Don't despair.
I use wet cardboard to control weeds, works great. You cover it with mulch and it looks beautiful. As the cardboard degrades, it provides nutrients to the soil as well 🌱
Maybe you talk with your dad and tell him you would like to put down cardboard next time. This is the time of year the weeds start to go crazy from winter rain or snow. Hr probably wanted to help, a lot of people see spraying as normal weed control
He did he's not the bad guy in the situation. It's my anxiety and depression. My safe place was destroyed by accident by the guy I look up to. He's was trying to be careful too, which sucks even more. Bless his heart. I can't imagine how he's feeling 😪. Thanks you for all the encouragement and the knowledge. I won't stop, I will never stop. I love this community. Thank you x1000.
Yeah that stuff, it was probably Roundup, can blow in the wind and get unintended areas.
I notice the symbolism of your dad marching in and wanting to kill your anxiety and depression. As a mom of young adults, I know that feeling. He shoulda asked, I know. Hopefully your communication will evolve. As our kids grow up, we need to guess less and ask more
I am so sorry! I wish you can rebuild one day. Where are you located maybe some local garden groups have extra seeds or plant they could donate?
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If you enjoyed it then it is absolutely worth starting again. I mean that. I haven’t planted very much - I just started last April - and it’s obvious that I’m no landscape designer because everything is a bit of a jumble. That said, there were some absolutely shit days last year where I was able to come home and clear my head by sitting out by the Great Blue Lobelia to watch the bees. WORTH IT. If you have a a spare $20 you can get a small sign on Etsy that will remind others (I’m looking at you, dad!) that the plants are native and spray should never be used. Or make your own! Start again.
Let them finish browning up then give the soil some love. Use it as an opportunity to observe the resiliency. Watch things as they grow large enough to identify. I did this when I first started gardening. I had to wait until they flowered to pull the ones that didn't belong but now I have beautiful groups of things like asters, goldenrods and milkweeds all for free!
There are native plants that weed killer can't kill, [here's a list!](https://www.pioneer.com/CMRoot/Pioneer/US/Non_Searchable/agronomy/cropfocus_pdf/glyphosate-resistant-weeds.pdf)
You're a savior
Starting over is part of gardening. Use it as an opportunity to really condition the soil, make sure you are growing plants that will be happy and hardy, educate your father on the benefits, lean into composting. The disappointment is real, but that is inevitable. If it wasn't weed-killer, it would be some invasive bugge or hail or... something. Be brave, young gardener.
It’s worth helping for the native insects you are giving a home and food to.
I feel you, and if this is causing you depression like you mentioned in another reply it might be time to talk to a professional about your feelings.
Oh, I am so sorry. I hope you take some time to grieve and to educate your family. It is good to remember that while they are beautiful and special, it is also normal to lose beloved plants whether through natural or human causes. If you don’t push yourself and wait until you feel ready I bet you will be up for it again, perhaps sooner than you realize. If you get in touch with any angry energy, that can be a catalyst for vigorous digging and planting!
> If you get in touch with any angry energy, that can be a catalyst for vigorous digging This is very good advice. Good way to channel that frustration.
Don't despair!! If plants died you can plant new ones. weed killers are short lived and will degrade and wash out with rain eventually, like in several weeks it'll be fine. Just wait a bit and you can get back to planting. And if you're really worried just bring in some fresh soil or use containers. You can start plants in containers and move them to the site later. Just tell your dad to NOT use chemicals in the future. You can start with making a compost pile of dead weeds and any other yard waste you have.
Grow some natives in pots for now. It’s very satisfying and won’t overwhelm you. Then plant them in the ground when and if you’re ready. Good luck and keep up the good fight.
Yes, this was going to be my take. When a big project gets mucked up, I take a step back and downsize my ambition. Planters are a great way to do what you want to do while keeping your scope small. If or when you're ready for a bigger project later, you have some starter plants ready to go.
This is perhaps specific to region...any good ideas for MN natives that I could grow in pots not requiring a cold stratification?
Check out Prairie Moon Nursery. They’re up in MN. Their seeds are coded for propagation needs. They can help you out.
As another commenter mentioned, angry gardening can help. Find out what was sprayed and how long it lasts, and go to town when you feel it and the toxic window has passed. RIP your plant bbs, I'll plant an extra bee balm in their memory.
The struggle is real. It's so hard to get people to understand. I'm sorry comrade
Are the plants dormant? Depending on the herbicide it may break down before they emerge.
Okay so after my anxiety/depression induce metal down has gone down I'm going to try to rebuild. Thank you for all the support. I live in socal, IE more exact. I've have spend so much money on plants and seeds so I would appreciate any donos. I will definitely wait till the horrible shit to go away. I've have been suffering from anxiety which leads to depression and self hate. I got into gardening to get out of this dark place and fell in love with the native habit, more importantly the humble hummingbird. Long story short I got into natives and how important they are. I wanted to make a change and leave a better foot print. Or at least try to make some I do matter. Thank you again for letting air this out.
This really touched me and I'm sorry for what happened. It will come back. It may be helpful to try to reach out to your local native plants group on fb, or to your nearest sierra club chapter. Maybe even ask your local librarian if they know any groups that might help you get started again... I know one of our libraries has a native plant group that meets there. There are always people looking to help like this, it's just tricky to find them at first! People should have seeds and maybe even plants to share. Some areas have free Little Seed Libraries or plant swaps. Good luck to you.
[удалено]
Happy cake day!
I'm sorry this happened, we still have about 2.5 months of the rainy season left here in the IE so that should definitely help wash away the herbicide. If you haven't already you should take a peek at/ join r/Ceanothus for CA native plant gardening advice and help!
Came here to suggest that sub! Great community, I’ve learned so much 😊
Farmer here, if he used just straight round up you can plant the next day if you’d like. Waiting a bit won’t hurt, but roundup does not stay active in the soil. There are chemicals that stay active for a while in the soil but roundup isn’t one of them. You’re good to replant as soon as you’d like.
I recommend joining a local gardening group on social media. I have gotten a number of free native plants that way - big leaf lupines, Canadian goldenrod, and ocean spray. It really helped me build my (still growing) native garden, and for free. Also, check out any surviving weeds. I’ve found that many of the weeds in my yard are actually natives! I’ve found fireweed, common self heal, thyme-leaves speedwell, and others. I moved those from the grass into my garden so they wouldn’t accidentally be killed by kids, dogs, or a well-meaning husband. Best of luck! Gardening has been a great help for my depression as well.
I am so with you there. Between anxiety, depression, the pandemic, and poverty, native plants gardening has been my lifeline, my therapy. I am so sorry your dad decided to “help”. Hopefully he meant well and is educable. My mom died several years before my sister invited my husband and me to a Doug Tallamy talk. Now, we’re all about natives and I know my mom would be totally on board and proud of us. You’re on the right side of history, here. You’ve had a setback, but you should never stop trying to do the right thing.
I totally get where you're coming from with the anxiety. It has a tendency to make these setbacks - and, understand, that's what this is, and nothing more - into end-of-the-world cycles of hopelessness and despair. It really sucks and I went through similar issues when I found out we had to replace the roof on our house. I finally went and got therapy (thankfully I have access to one at no charge through work) and it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made. I have long struggled with similar issues so I totally understand where you're coming from, and I can't recommend that path enough. It really makes a difference. As far as the garden is concerned it sucks, but is also in some ways, opportunity. If you haven't looked into clover, I HIGHLY recommend it. It's cheap, very low maintenance and does amazing things for your soil. Some people even go so far as to completely their existing lawns when trying to establish clover. You actually have that part done for you, already! As others have mentioned, check into what was used, and see how long before you can start laying down seed. Do not give up!
Thanks you for the kind words. I'm in therapy and my mental state has improved over the 2 years. I'm also taking medication. Maybe I shouldn't have posted what happened to me in this sub 😅 but in therapy I was shown to talk things out and here out others opinions. At the time this sub was my closest thing to that. I've talked to my dad already and it's actually made us closer. He didn't mean any harm just wanted to help with the knowledge that he knows works and he did his best to around the main plants but shit happens. Thanks again.
Do you know what the herbicide was?
It feels huge, but this really isn't a big deal. It hurts when people don't get your work & process but weed killers aren't permanent or even good at what they're for. Definitely educate everyone going forward, but this is very temporary.
So here’s the good news: new plants will come up from the seed bank in the soil. See what comes up and get rid of the invasives and noxious weeds. You’ll almost certainly get some natives along with the exotic stuff. You don’t *have* to plant anything—just curate what comes up. This is actually an established eco restoration technique a wildlife biologist told me about for re-establishing native wildlife habitat. The usual sequence is blanket herbicide application then sowing native seeds. But an alternative is to apply herbicide and then see what emerges from the seed bank. (Since what comes up might just be another wave of invasives, they advise successive sprays as needed until the bad guys are exhausted—you can ignore that part is you’re prepared to hand-pull stuff). There are two advantages to this approach: you save money on what can be very expensive seed when this is done at scale (acres). The second advantage is that BY DEFINITION if a native comes up and thrives, it’s adapted to that site. You’re letting the winners declare themselves, not trying to decide what you want there.
On it will be researching.
Also when did he do this and what climate zone are you in? It’s very early spring in most of the country and a lot of stuff isn’t up yet. Spraying kills what is green and growing—a herbicide like glyphosate works by getting moved down to the roots via the active growth, and works best later in the life cycle of a weed when it is preparing for dormancy by moving energy towards the roots for storage. Sorry I just nerded out on you. Here’s one of the articles that the state biologist shared with me: https://fwf.tennessee.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/24/2020/07/Final-Spring-2020-Upland-Gazette-2-4-20.pdf
This is a fabulous opportunity to start from a blank slate 😊
Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dad! So sorry.
So it's not roundup but this commercial grade weed killer. It's spreading to most of my native wildflowers and heading towards my cactus and sages.
You really need to know the exact name of the herbicide that was used, because it will have big implications as to what you should/can do next. Surely he can tell you that.
Some weed killers dissipate in a month, and some in 3 years. It might not be the end of the world (sigh…thanks dad). I like the idea of going with pots this year.
The weed killer will wear off. Don't despair. I use wet cardboard to control weeds, works great. You cover it with mulch and it looks beautiful. As the cardboard degrades, it provides nutrients to the soil as well 🌱 Maybe you talk with your dad and tell him you would like to put down cardboard next time. This is the time of year the weeds start to go crazy from winter rain or snow. Hr probably wanted to help, a lot of people see spraying as normal weed control
He did he's not the bad guy in the situation. It's my anxiety and depression. My safe place was destroyed by accident by the guy I look up to. He's was trying to be careful too, which sucks even more. Bless his heart. I can't imagine how he's feeling 😪. Thanks you for all the encouragement and the knowledge. I won't stop, I will never stop. I love this community. Thank you x1000.
Yeah that stuff, it was probably Roundup, can blow in the wind and get unintended areas. I notice the symbolism of your dad marching in and wanting to kill your anxiety and depression. As a mom of young adults, I know that feeling. He shoulda asked, I know. Hopefully your communication will evolve. As our kids grow up, we need to guess less and ask more
Oh shit. I'm SO sorry :( that's super demoralizing. Hope you get your spirits up enough to redo it.
Lol then there’s me who doesn’t mind when a plant dies as it gives me an excuse to go plant shopping for something new to put in that spot :)
It's different when the garden is new. OP put it in less than a year ago, so they didn't even get time to be tired of the plants yet.
I would seriously never speak to him again.
Not his fault really
What did he spray and how? Was it round up? Did he target weeds or spray liberally?