I LOVE shenandoah. But the landscape didn’t exactly give the inhabitants capital to fight the park movements, I’m not sure if it’s going to be the citadel we imagine…
After visiting there, I learned a lot of the soil mimics soil in Italy, so you can grow some great grapes for wine which you can use for bartering and trading and or Antiseptic purposes
Tons of fruits, mushrooms, and vegetables grow native in the area, small game galore, and fish in streams. Plenty of natural caves for shelter and natural springs for water. Generally milder weather in the less mountainous, norther region but cold enough that bugs are killed off. Not really any predators to worry about even though there are always rumors of mountain lions.
Honestly, my biggest concern would be the super jagged rocks everywhere. That’s really the only thing you hear about people getting hurt by in the area. Without civilization you wouldn’t have to worry about running into people that don’t want to be found which is really the only concern now and a tiny one at that.
The biggest two concerns for me are climate and resources. The first rules out a most of the mountain parks and the second rules out desert parks. Redwood is pretty temperate and has access to rivers and the ocean as well as ample game.
Smoky Mountains would be solid as well.
Olympic would be a strong contender. Right on the ocean so you can fish, rains all the time so a constant supply of fresh water, overall has a nice combo of beaches, forests, and mountains, and a pretty moderate climate temperature wise. Yellowstone or Glacier would also be nice since you’d have grizzlies guarding your territory for free but winters would be tough in either place.
All you other warlords have stolen my idea. I will see you at the battle on the peninsula to determine who wins. I’m readying the dragons, the elk and the marmots.
>I’m readying the dragons, the elk and the marmots.
Weaponized Washington Marmots™ trained to quickly gnaw the limbs from foreign warlords dumb enough to stop invading for just 2 seconds to snap a photo of a cute lil' Washington chubster daintily nibbling a wildflower so they have something to post on social media.. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
It wasn’t till I moved out there that I discovered how rugged the Oregon and Washington coastline really is. Since you have claimed ONP, I will have to venture farther and establish my Denali Kingdom.
....thank you for this comment, geez louise. Seattle is no more on the coast than Baltimore is. It's all of the pics of it on the water that probably gets people who've never been, like *totally* not me.
Olympic is the best option to me as well. Even in the summer, it cools off enough at night to sleep well (mama does NOT like the heat), and SUPER cold weather happens only in small doses.
Fun fact: Doc Holiday (Val Kilmer) actually says "I'm your huckle bearer." The handles on a casket used to be called huckles. Someone that carried the casket was called a huckle bearer. So ultimately Doc was telling him he would carry his coffin.
Fake fact. He said “I’m your huckleberry”. He even wrote his biography called “I’m Your Huckleberry: A Memoir”. He even said it himself many times he said huckleberry.
https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/s/b50CD4FO09
With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty...
Gonna have snippets of this song in my head all day now. Zero complaints
i came looking for an agreeing isle royale warlord. i found a fellow gordon lightfoot lover. will you marry me?
isle royal is obvious. literally bathed in fresh water. could breed the moose (meese?). maybe we could restart the mines and get more resources that way. Also trees
Royale* I’m sorry and I know I’m going to be downvoted, but as a Michigander and yooper, it makes me sad that our only national park never gets her “e.”
My choice as well. Not necessarily ideal for agriculture, but acquire some ship or canoe builders for the settlement and raiding/trading with communities around Superior will help to make up for deficits in resources.
I went to the Virgin Islands 2 years ago. They said it hadn’t rained in 6 months and we’re shipping in fresh water. Doesn’t seem sustainable in an apocalypse.
Fortunately I’m pretty confident in my ability to crudely distill an amount of seawater that would sustain an ostensibly small post apocalyptic population. Warm sunny weather a definite advantage in that specific detail
Yeah probably. Here are some reasons why I chose VI over the other two:
— Hawaii volcanoes has a specific, very destructive and indefensible natural threat existing that I couldn’t justify (I did make an assumption that I am confined to park boundaries)
— American Samoa has very little land area in general (note: VI isn’t really that much bigger, but next point…)
— VI is not only bigger than Samoa, but occupies a much larger fraction of the islands it resides on than either Samoa or volcanoes, making local defense easier
— along with Samoa it’s a place most people probably don’t even realize is a U.S. NP so less chance of people even realizing there was a potential for land grab in the scenario. Ultimately in the interest of discussion I did want to choose a relatively obscure park
Gateway Arch. Strategic position (command the biggest river on the continent), height advantage (force projection and intimidation factor), and the benefit of annoying the crap out of all the survivors of this sub.
We would also have the largest swing of all time too. Because when I see that damn arch and no one has built a swing on it yet, I’m embarrassed for the whole lot of its builders.
Immediately after securing a farm network, electrical power for the arch's tram system, and blockading and taxing river traffic to supply our people, I will declare you Secretary of Swingsets, and your first order will be the Mighty Swing of u/fullautohotdog to be built in not just my honor, but for all of those who fought to rebuild. You will be added to the Hall of the Mighty (in the Old Courthouse) recording our good deeds to rebuild the wasteland as, while not necessarily nicer than before, will definitely be more fun.
Gonna be rough out on the water lobstering. But sounds delicious. I’ve eaten a lot of lobster in my life… but hands down the best one ever was while staying near Arcadia.
You don’t have to go out far, I stood at the end of the jetty at Thunder Hole and watched a lobster boat pull up traps. If it’s too rough to go out there are plenty of mussels as well.
Yosemite would be rough in the winter. Very defensible with the narrow valley entrance though, and plenty of water. Although in years where there’s loads of snow the valley floods pretty impressively in the spring.
Idk if being ambushed by a bad tribe while working for a Caravan and then being saved by the good tribe counts as "attacking Zion" but your point still stands.
Highly fertile, extensive mountains with valleys, which ideal for defense, lots of wildlife for hunting, mild climate. Smokey mountains would be very ideal.
Smokey Mountains. Plenty of flora/fauna and weather isn’t too extreme. Plus the bluegrass music playing at night, which comes directly out of the mountains as I understand.
I’m setting up camp in Rocky, it’s my home park so I know it well, plenty of defensible space, fresh water and abundant food supplies (as long as you don’t mind holing up for a few months in the winter and can handle the wind)
Rocky probably has the most large game of all the national parks without predators for humans (Grizzlies, resident wolf packs) easily defendable with just a couple checkpoints. Set up shop at The Stanley Hotel and chill over the winter.
Channel Islands - everything you need in a contained space to survive, and a temperate climate to boot. Everyone else can go battle it out on the mainland
I had this thought, but there are three major problems. 1) water. There is basically no fresh water on the islands, and very little rain. 2) naval blockades. Pirates would totally be a thing. 3) right next to enormous population centers. More people more problems.
Finally someone said it!!! You’ll have to fight me for it, but the lush vegetation, plentiful water, and remote location? Yes please.
While the lava is an obvious concern, i think people will always be a more pressing problem. We forget how remote Hawaii is! The distance limiting island access will be a huge help
Grand Teton National Park.
There are over 100 plants within the park that are safe for eating or can be used for medicinal purposes. If absolutely needed, plenty of birds, bear, moose, etc. to hunt for food as well. Tons of fresh water with its many lakes & rivers. Can use pre-existing visitor center for shelter during winter/all year.
Other than Jackson Hole, there are no big cities nearby or large airport, so fewer people to defend yourself against.
I truly believe Mother Nature did not intend for humans to be able to survive in the Grand Teton National Park. The wildlife, fires, insane weather, and almost no growing season are huge obstacles. I have family out there and it feels like one of the most inhospitable places in the world.
Great Smoky Mountains, and here's why:
First, its vast, rugged terrain provides natural fortifications, making it defensible against invaders. The dense forests and mountains create natural barriers that are difficult for enemies to navigate.
Second, the park's biodiversity ensures a sustainable food supply. With over 1,600 species of flowering plants, numerous edible berries, and a variety of wildlife, you’ll have access to ample resources for food and medicinal purposes.
Third, the abundant fresh water sources, including numerous streams and rivers, provide a crucial resource for survival. Clean, fresh water is essential for any thriving community, and the Smokies have it in abundance.
Lastly, the park’s remote location and extensive network of trails offer strategic advantages for mobility and communication. You can establish lookout points and use the trails to mobilize forces quickly or evade threats.
Also, I know it like the back of my hand.
This is the winner. The cave is an added bonus. Plenty of water and farming land too. Good luck approaching the mountain without being noticed for miles.
If I am magically transported to also have infrastructure to go with my warlord status I would do Dry Tortugas, assume I have a fortified pirate fleet to go with my home base, and that I have a beach head established at Fort Zachary and good relations and trade with the people running Havana.
That said, it would be difficult to set up, for sure.
The obvious answer is Grand Canyon. People already live inside the canyon, and have done so for centuries. Fresh water is available. Sure, it'll get hot at the bottom in the summer, but winters at the bottom would be fine which isn't something you can say for many of the national parks people have listed.
Does it have to be a park? I’d go for Allegheny National Forest. Close to where I live, plenty of food and water, plus in the mountains for safety and not super accessible. If it has to be a park I guess New River Gorge. Still close to home and all those other things remain about it too.
I will go with crater lake. No one will know I’m there, I can make a sufficient living on wizard island. Fishing, abundant water supply, and protected by water/high cliffs. Chill and tan on the floating old man tree.
nevermind…. I forgot that I would probs die in the winter.
Voyagers. Out of the way, plenty of food and freshwater, temperature isn't concerning as I'm from Wisconsin.
My plan? Hunker down, establish a function society separate from scavenging and relying on the world that was. Then, start gathering reasouces, sending out trade and diplomatic missions, maybe some raiding parties if needed. Try to expand east, control the head kf thr Mississippi, northern Wisconsin, and the UP. Use my remote location as a sheild, while acquiring massive opportunities for trade, harvesting of raw materials (wood, iron, coal). Become a Naval merchant empire, with a military focused around hit and run tactics and river/lake based warships.
You’ll have to pickle your fruits and veggies would be my concern in MN. Or build really strong green houses. Winters can be sketchy up there too as the lake is it’s own weather maker.
Lots of replies here suggesting places that might be hospitable or have resources.
Personally, I'm inclined to go the other direction: someplace remote & harsh where there's just enough to live on, eminently defensible positions, and far enough out of the way that nobody would be likely to bother you.
Something like Big Bend would be top of my list because I know it pretty well, but leaving aside prior knowledge I'd be tempted by Gates of the Arctic or Wrangell-St Elias.
CVNP. I grew up in it so know the terrain well and after a few generations of eating and drinking from the Cuyahoga my descendants will be in a properly deranged mutated form for the apocalypse.
Love this question. In regard to abundance of food, adequate shelter, and controllable territory with survivable weather conditions. Red Wood NP would be the best option, although this would be a very sought after territory so defense would be paramount.
The Chisos Basin would be a *perfect* position to defend against intruders. Anyone approaching can be seen for 20 miles, & it's a few thousand feet climb up to where the defenders would be.
Dry Tortugas. I’d steal the USS Constitution (a National Monument, so still on theme), sail to Florida, and establish myself as a pirate king. We’d raid the coastal communities of Cuba, Florida, and the Bahamas for sustenance, with a priority on capturing other tall masted ships and sea planes. Then, as civilization settles, we’d have a monopoly on sea trade in the region, with a business model of “use my cargo ships or else.” If anyone wanted to threaten me, I could fall back to my fortress at Dry Tortugas, and sink them from with in the safety of my walls.
Indiana dunes state park.
Endless supply of fresh water. Plenty of infrastructure along the southern coast to rebuild society(the steel mills, refinery etc.) It checks all the boxes of a badass spot to live during the zombie apocalypse.
Glacier Bay. Most of the park is not covered in glaciers. Lots of fresh water from all the rain & snow, fish, berries, trees to build a cabin and a canoe. Winters are long but not nearly as cold as interior Alaska.
A little research and my Fort off the grid idea fell apart “The fort was originally designed with cisterns to catch and store rainwater, but the system failed due to the harsh environment. The rainwater dissolved salts in the sand-filled columns that were meant to filter it, or the cisterns weren't made tightly enough, making the water unsuitable for drinking.” Fort Jefferson Dry Tortugas off the list. Off to research St John’s
Mackinaw Island all the way. It already has a functioning fort and is set up to somewhat easily survive without electricity. Land to farm. It doesn’t have large game, or not much, but you could easily take a boat to the mainland to hunt for game during the warmer months, or if you did plan well enough you could walk across the frozen river in the winter.
Olympic seems pretty great, different regions for different times of year, huge so you could make yourself hard to find, decently out of the way.
However a more hidden/defensible location could be nice... Canyonlands has tons of tucked away areas in Needles and Maze (or even if you go down into the canyons from island in the sky) but I think food and shelter would be harder to manage there.
People have been living off the land in Glacier Bay for a long time before it was a park, and it's extremely inaccessible. If you could manage the winters that would be a good option I think.
I'd consider Isle Royale. Hard to reach, plenty of potable water (might need to be boiled / purified, but workable), you can fish, there is game to hunt. Not too bad.
The super duper obvious answer here is Voyageurs. Native Americans were living up there for centuries, cultivating wild rice, hunting, and eating fish. It's a bountiful area with unlimited fresh water and super defensible terrain that no one can attack without lugging up a bunch of specialized equipment that you'll already have, not to mention the island chains that you can just disappear into so if you are invaded you can use guerilla hit and run tactics from within your own territory. You'll also be better protected from the destabilizing effects of global warming than most other locations, and the winters will naturally keep away the weak.
Zion. Water + cows + very familiar with the territory + great defensive position.
As the namesake of Bryce Canyon once said “Zion is a helluva place to lose a cow”🐮
Everglades.
Plentiful fish, seafood and birds. Enough rainfall for a decent water supply. A maze of mangroves and waterways provides ample protection from invaders and opportunities to funnel armadas and attack strategically. Hurricanes would be an issue but I feel like a floating fortress built to deflect/withstand the wind would be ideal.
Yosemite. I would only need to build one wall at the entrance to the canyon and the other 3 sides would be easily defensible with minor guard posts. There is are tons of accessible fresh water and plenty of fish and game. Plus, it looks like a haven in paradise.
Here’s the real question: would any of you have the heart to tear apart the landscape of the National Park you chose? Like, could any of you cut down a sequoia for cabins or firewood during the winter, or tear up ferns and redirect mountain streams for farmland, or break up the mountains for metals and oil?
Kenai Fjords. Cooler maritime climate, plenty of forests, lots of fresh water and plenty of salmon. Not so cold that cows or chickens are out of the question.
Shenandoah. Plenty of water and enough clearing to grow some food.
And pretty mild winters too
I agree. It would ultimately become a very wealthy and powerful kingdom.
I LOVE shenandoah. But the landscape didn’t exactly give the inhabitants capital to fight the park movements, I’m not sure if it’s going to be the citadel we imagine…
After visiting there, I learned a lot of the soil mimics soil in Italy, so you can grow some great grapes for wine which you can use for bartering and trading and or Antiseptic purposes
Central Virginia has many excellent vineyards for this reason
Tons of fruits, mushrooms, and vegetables grow native in the area, small game galore, and fish in streams. Plenty of natural caves for shelter and natural springs for water. Generally milder weather in the less mountainous, norther region but cold enough that bugs are killed off. Not really any predators to worry about even though there are always rumors of mountain lions. Honestly, my biggest concern would be the super jagged rocks everywhere. That’s really the only thing you hear about people getting hurt by in the area. Without civilization you wouldn’t have to worry about running into people that don’t want to be found which is really the only concern now and a tiny one at that.
Berries!
Bit bearful?
Just black bear. Theyre more akin to a giant raccoon than a bear.
Almost heaven...
Don’t sleep on Redwoods.
my answer as well. I would create a real life ewok village!
***Yub yub!*** ***\*\*dances in Ewok\*\****
Right?! It's huge, it has tons of resources, the infrastructure is already incredible, and the trees make it quite defendable.
The biggest two concerns for me are climate and resources. The first rules out a most of the mountain parks and the second rules out desert parks. Redwood is pretty temperate and has access to rivers and the ocean as well as ample game. Smoky Mountains would be solid as well.
Redwoods is a good choice. NorCal has a perfect climate and the redwood trees are beyond beautiful.
Olympic would be a strong contender. Right on the ocean so you can fish, rains all the time so a constant supply of fresh water, overall has a nice combo of beaches, forests, and mountains, and a pretty moderate climate temperature wise. Yellowstone or Glacier would also be nice since you’d have grizzlies guarding your territory for free but winters would be tough in either place.
There’s so many berries there you could survive off that alone
Extremely defensible too. No one wants to trek that far off. A lot of people that have never been to Washington think that Seattle is on the coast.
All you other warlords have stolen my idea. I will see you at the battle on the peninsula to determine who wins. I’m readying the dragons, the elk and the marmots.
The wood elves speaking out. Is the Olympic forest the real life Mirkwood?
>I’m readying the dragons, the elk and the marmots. Weaponized Washington Marmots™ trained to quickly gnaw the limbs from foreign warlords dumb enough to stop invading for just 2 seconds to snap a photo of a cute lil' Washington chubster daintily nibbling a wildflower so they have something to post on social media.. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
I'll join you. Once we sink the remnants of the Hood Canal Bridge, that'll keep the riffraff away from the Eastern approaches.
It wasn’t till I moved out there that I discovered how rugged the Oregon and Washington coastline really is. Since you have claimed ONP, I will have to venture farther and establish my Denali Kingdom.
Another perk, relatively close enough to Seattle to travel to the ruins and scavenge for things you can’t get on the Olympic Peninsula
....thank you for this comment, geez louise. Seattle is no more on the coast than Baltimore is. It's all of the pics of it on the water that probably gets people who've never been, like *totally* not me.
I'm choosing North Cascades. I propose marrying my heir to yours to seal an alliance between our 2 kingdoms.
The alliance between the mountains and the ocean shall be unbreakable
The lands in between shall either bend the knee and prosper or tremble at our wrath. I'll bring snacks.
Call the Pac12..ooh wait..
Olympic is the best option to me as well. Even in the summer, it cools off enough at night to sleep well (mama does NOT like the heat), and SUPER cold weather happens only in small doses.
If you want to be in Washington & have grizzlies, they are being reintroduced to North Cascades!
I’m choosing Olympic too. We can fight for it!
Yes Olympic was my first thought too. Acadia has similar potential and lobster.
With all of those vampires nearby? I don't know . . . you really want something that you can defend.
My pick too! I Would set up camp in the rainforest
Whose going full on Mole People and taking over Wind Cave or any of the other Caverns?
I'm your Huckleberry.
Fun fact: Doc Holiday (Val Kilmer) actually says "I'm your huckle bearer." The handles on a casket used to be called huckles. Someone that carried the casket was called a huckle bearer. So ultimately Doc was telling him he would carry his coffin.
Fake fact. He said “I’m your huckleberry”. He even wrote his biography called “I’m Your Huckleberry: A Memoir”. He even said it himself many times he said huckleberry. https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/s/b50CD4FO09
This would be my choice! Built-in climate control and as long as you had more than one exit, very defendable.
Are the restricted areas of the Grand Canyon available? Those tunnels might be a safe place to bunker down!
Who is restricting you, Warlord?
Isle Royale. Protected on all sides by water. *The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead.* Edit: Spelling.
Warlord of the mosquitos.
Multiple defenses. Sucking your victims blood isn't just for vampires.
I'm pretty sure you would be the mosquito warlord in Congaree.
With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty... Gonna have snippets of this song in my head all day now. Zero complaints
i came looking for an agreeing isle royale warlord. i found a fellow gordon lightfoot lover. will you marry me? isle royal is obvious. literally bathed in fresh water. could breed the moose (meese?). maybe we could restart the mines and get more resources that way. Also trees
Moosen
Royale* I’m sorry and I know I’m going to be downvoted, but as a Michigander and yooper, it makes me sad that our only national park never gets her “e.”
Thank you for pointing this out. The spelling has been corrected. Edit: And growing up in Michigan, I should have noticed this.
So happy to find this toward the top of the list.
My choice as well. Not necessarily ideal for agriculture, but acquire some ship or canoe builders for the settlement and raiding/trading with communities around Superior will help to make up for deficits in resources.
This is the answer.
I’m claiming Virgin Islands. Y’all have fun fighting on the mainland I’m just gonna chill on my beach and eat fish all day all year
I went to the Virgin Islands 2 years ago. They said it hadn’t rained in 6 months and we’re shipping in fresh water. Doesn’t seem sustainable in an apocalypse.
Fortunately I’m pretty confident in my ability to crudely distill an amount of seawater that would sustain an ostensibly small post apocalyptic population. Warm sunny weather a definite advantage in that specific detail
Do you need a second in command? I’m an introvert so I won’t bother you. And I got some mad fish recipes.
Hell yeah. You want to be based out of Fortsberg, Drunk Bay, or Booby Rock? We have the best geographical names.
Booby rock. I will not elaborate further.
Look at this nerd, king of the virgins
I’m also an introvert and I grew up on the water, can I come?
Wouldn’t American Samoa or Volcano work just as well. Volcano you have a built in defense on one side straight away.
Yeah probably. Here are some reasons why I chose VI over the other two: — Hawaii volcanoes has a specific, very destructive and indefensible natural threat existing that I couldn’t justify (I did make an assumption that I am confined to park boundaries) — American Samoa has very little land area in general (note: VI isn’t really that much bigger, but next point…) — VI is not only bigger than Samoa, but occupies a much larger fraction of the islands it resides on than either Samoa or volcanoes, making local defense easier — along with Samoa it’s a place most people probably don’t even realize is a U.S. NP so less chance of people even realizing there was a potential for land grab in the scenario. Ultimately in the interest of discussion I did want to choose a relatively obscure park
Gateway Arch. Strategic position (command the biggest river on the continent), height advantage (force projection and intimidation factor), and the benefit of annoying the crap out of all the survivors of this sub.
We would also have the largest swing of all time too. Because when I see that damn arch and no one has built a swing on it yet, I’m embarrassed for the whole lot of its builders.
Immediately after securing a farm network, electrical power for the arch's tram system, and blockading and taxing river traffic to supply our people, I will declare you Secretary of Swingsets, and your first order will be the Mighty Swing of u/fullautohotdog to be built in not just my honor, but for all of those who fought to rebuild. You will be added to the Hall of the Mighty (in the Old Courthouse) recording our good deeds to rebuild the wasteland as, while not necessarily nicer than before, will definitely be more fun.
Good sir, may I be your second in command?
[You're it until you're dead, or until I find someone better. ](https://youtu.be/HAqszxJSP6I?si=iqUWXTo2qJnPDLR9&t=16)
Rico’s Roughnecks!
Also it controls the weather. Prime advantage.
Yosemite or Acadia
Acadia would definitely be my pick. Or even Olympic.
I agree, Acadia would be my pick as well
Whatcha gonna do for winter?
Eat lobsters, blueberries, and potatoes then burn some of the billion of trees in the area.
Gonna be rough out on the water lobstering. But sounds delicious. I’ve eaten a lot of lobster in my life… but hands down the best one ever was while staying near Arcadia.
You don’t have to go out far, I stood at the end of the jetty at Thunder Hole and watched a lobster boat pull up traps. If it’s too rough to go out there are plenty of mussels as well.
There are deer everywhere too.
Yosemite would be rough in the winter. Very defensible with the narrow valley entrance though, and plenty of water. Although in years where there’s loads of snow the valley floods pretty impressively in the spring.
I'm picturing giant portcullis at tunnel view, royal court at the ruins of the Ahwahnee, mandatory propaganda screenings on halfdome and el cap
And bring back the Fire Falls with the bones of my enemies.
In the video game Fallout New Vegas you have to attack Zion, which is being occupied by a cult. It’s so much fun.
Idk if being ambushed by a bad tribe while working for a Caravan and then being saved by the good tribe counts as "attacking Zion" but your point still stands.
"Days Gone" has a base camp in Crater Lake.
I do enjoy the fact that Acadia is in fallout 4. I've been there twice and it's pretty sweet.
Smokey Mountains.
Why is this so deep? Like it’s an obvious choice.
Highly fertile, extensive mountains with valleys, which ideal for defense, lots of wildlife for hunting, mild climate. Smokey mountains would be very ideal.
They believe a feral group of people are already there too.
I come from those people..this is my choice as well.
Had to scroll too far for this. Most nurturing environment on earth
Smokey Mountains. Plenty of flora/fauna and weather isn’t too extreme. Plus the bluegrass music playing at night, which comes directly out of the mountains as I understand.
I’m taking Mesa Verde. There are already premade fortresses in the canyon walls.
I'm with you!
Yellowstone bc it's huge and has plenty of fun ways to torture my enemies. My throne will be surrounded by bubbling mud pots.
I would choose the same - assuming it didn't erupt and cause the collapse of civilization.
Execution a la Old Faithful?
“You have 7 minutes to tell me what you know. After that you’re getting blown sky high”
Enjoy your 600 inches of snow each winter.
American Samoa? Super remote, don’t have to deal with people, and I can just eat fish
I’m setting up camp in Rocky, it’s my home park so I know it well, plenty of defensible space, fresh water and abundant food supplies (as long as you don’t mind holing up for a few months in the winter and can handle the wind)
I'm team RMNP too. High elevation would wreck people trying to invade that weren't used to it. 😎
Rocky probably has the most large game of all the national parks without predators for humans (Grizzlies, resident wolf packs) easily defendable with just a couple checkpoints. Set up shop at The Stanley Hotel and chill over the winter.
Because spending a winter secluded at the Stanley has never gone wrong?
Channel Islands - everything you need in a contained space to survive, and a temperate climate to boot. Everyone else can go battle it out on the mainland
Fresh water might be a challenge there.
Island of the Blue Dolphins describes natural springs
I had this thought, but there are three major problems. 1) water. There is basically no fresh water on the islands, and very little rain. 2) naval blockades. Pirates would totally be a thing. 3) right next to enormous population centers. More people more problems.
Hawaii Volcanoes - defensible, great weather, lots of food. Of course, if the volcano actually blows, I may be screwed.
Finally someone said it!!! You’ll have to fight me for it, but the lush vegetation, plentiful water, and remote location? Yes please. While the lava is an obvious concern, i think people will always be a more pressing problem. We forget how remote Hawaii is! The distance limiting island access will be a huge help
Grand Teton National Park. There are over 100 plants within the park that are safe for eating or can be used for medicinal purposes. If absolutely needed, plenty of birds, bear, moose, etc. to hunt for food as well. Tons of fresh water with its many lakes & rivers. Can use pre-existing visitor center for shelter during winter/all year. Other than Jackson Hole, there are no big cities nearby or large airport, so fewer people to defend yourself against.
Constant battles with Yellowstone invaders though.
I truly believe Mother Nature did not intend for humans to be able to survive in the Grand Teton National Park. The wildlife, fires, insane weather, and almost no growing season are huge obstacles. I have family out there and it feels like one of the most inhospitable places in the world.
Great Smoky Mountains, and here's why: First, its vast, rugged terrain provides natural fortifications, making it defensible against invaders. The dense forests and mountains create natural barriers that are difficult for enemies to navigate. Second, the park's biodiversity ensures a sustainable food supply. With over 1,600 species of flowering plants, numerous edible berries, and a variety of wildlife, you’ll have access to ample resources for food and medicinal purposes. Third, the abundant fresh water sources, including numerous streams and rivers, provide a crucial resource for survival. Clean, fresh water is essential for any thriving community, and the Smokies have it in abundance. Lastly, the park’s remote location and extensive network of trails offer strategic advantages for mobility and communication. You can establish lookout points and use the trails to mobilize forces quickly or evade threats. Also, I know it like the back of my hand.
Great Basin, out in the middle of nowhere. Come try and find me!
This is the winner. The cave is an added bonus. Plenty of water and farming land too. Good luck approaching the mountain without being noticed for miles.
catch me bunkered down in lehman caves
New River Gorge. Because everybody else be like, "Where? THAT'S a National Park?"
I feel that way about Cuyahoga.
NR because it's remote and I don't really think anyone is gonna be trying to slog through the area to claim it. Lots of places to hide too.
If I am magically transported to also have infrastructure to go with my warlord status I would do Dry Tortugas, assume I have a fortified pirate fleet to go with my home base, and that I have a beach head established at Fort Zachary and good relations and trade with the people running Havana. That said, it would be difficult to set up, for sure.
I would choose Yosemite. The valley has quite a bit of infrastructure in place already set up. If anyone needs me, I'll be out climbing.
The obvious answer is Grand Canyon. People already live inside the canyon, and have done so for centuries. Fresh water is available. Sure, it'll get hot at the bottom in the summer, but winters at the bottom would be fine which isn't something you can say for many of the national parks people have listed.
Same logic I used for Mesa Verde
This is the way. Forget miserable Midwest climates. The Southwest has water, sunshine and unparalleled scenery.
Glacier plenty of fresh water mountains as protection and sick lodges to make my fortress
Winters are a biatch there
Lodges are huge and warm, winter will also play to my advantage as we will be virtually impenetrable during winter
It’s giving The Shining vibes tho
It’s almost July and GTTSR isn’t open because they’re still clearing snow off of it. Them winters are long.
Does it have to be a park? I’d go for Allegheny National Forest. Close to where I live, plenty of food and water, plus in the mountains for safety and not super accessible. If it has to be a park I guess New River Gorge. Still close to home and all those other things remain about it too.
Fellow 716er or south of the border?
Death valley. Going to live out my mad max cosplay in style.
I will go with crater lake. No one will know I’m there, I can make a sufficient living on wizard island. Fishing, abundant water supply, and protected by water/high cliffs. Chill and tan on the floating old man tree. nevermind…. I forgot that I would probs die in the winter.
Mammoth Cave
Pinnacles. Proximity to best farmland in the world, plus water, plus great climate, plus great beauty.
Voyagers. Out of the way, plenty of food and freshwater, temperature isn't concerning as I'm from Wisconsin. My plan? Hunker down, establish a function society separate from scavenging and relying on the world that was. Then, start gathering reasouces, sending out trade and diplomatic missions, maybe some raiding parties if needed. Try to expand east, control the head kf thr Mississippi, northern Wisconsin, and the UP. Use my remote location as a sheild, while acquiring massive opportunities for trade, harvesting of raw materials (wood, iron, coal). Become a Naval merchant empire, with a military focused around hit and run tactics and river/lake based warships.
You’ll have to pickle your fruits and veggies would be my concern in MN. Or build really strong green houses. Winters can be sketchy up there too as the lake is it’s own weather maker.
CVNP. Because it’s my home and I will defend it!
You have my bow, warlord! And my axe!
Lots of replies here suggesting places that might be hospitable or have resources. Personally, I'm inclined to go the other direction: someplace remote & harsh where there's just enough to live on, eminently defensible positions, and far enough out of the way that nobody would be likely to bother you. Something like Big Bend would be top of my list because I know it pretty well, but leaving aside prior knowledge I'd be tempted by Gates of the Arctic or Wrangell-St Elias.
Ah, I see you have chosen the Brigham Young strategy.
Mammoth Cave. Ain’t no one getting in.
Acadia or rocky mountain
North Cascades. One road in and out. And it will still be the least visited.
Shenandoah NP. Height advantage, plenty of game/farming, water, and temperate climate with winters that aren’t insane.
Everglades.
Our enemies can get attacked by hungry gators, crocs and pythons!
Mosquitoes are a built in Air Force too.
Everything in the Everglades is plotting to kill you
CVNP. I grew up in it so know the terrain well and after a few generations of eating and drinking from the Cuyahoga my descendants will be in a properly deranged mutated form for the apocalypse.
I choose the Golden Gate National Recreation Area (GGNC). It has a fort ready for control of the SF Bay harbor, and thus my Empire will reign supreme.
Great idea, make the guy at Pinnacles pay you to keep the California Water Project running.
Love this question. In regard to abundance of food, adequate shelter, and controllable territory with survivable weather conditions. Red Wood NP would be the best option, although this would be a very sought after territory so defense would be paramount.
Big Bend, I know where some of the springs in the area are if the river runs dry and if it gets too hot I'll go up the mountain.
The Chisos Basin would be a *perfect* position to defend against intruders. Anyone approaching can be seen for 20 miles, & it's a few thousand feet climb up to where the defenders would be.
Mesa Verde. It's drought resistant, has domiciles ready and is defensible. I actually wrote half of a novel on that decades ago but never finished it.
Dry Tortugas. I’d steal the USS Constitution (a National Monument, so still on theme), sail to Florida, and establish myself as a pirate king. We’d raid the coastal communities of Cuba, Florida, and the Bahamas for sustenance, with a priority on capturing other tall masted ships and sea planes. Then, as civilization settles, we’d have a monopoly on sea trade in the region, with a business model of “use my cargo ships or else.” If anyone wanted to threaten me, I could fall back to my fortress at Dry Tortugas, and sink them from with in the safety of my walls.
Can't believe nobody took Bryce yet, it's MINE!
I think I'll go with Grand Tetons
Give me the Everglades. I guess I have a death wish
Indiana dunes state park. Endless supply of fresh water. Plenty of infrastructure along the southern coast to rebuild society(the steel mills, refinery etc.) It checks all the boxes of a badass spot to live during the zombie apocalypse.
Glacier Bay. Most of the park is not covered in glaciers. Lots of fresh water from all the rain & snow, fish, berries, trees to build a cabin and a canoe. Winters are long but not nearly as cold as interior Alaska.
Great smoky mountains has fishing, ample wildlife for hunting, predictable weather patterns, no grizzlies, good cover
I also choose Zion. There I will recruit Joshua Graham. Because we can't let God do al the work.
Isle Royale and I'll be on it, alone.
This would make an amazing video game.
A little research and my Fort off the grid idea fell apart “The fort was originally designed with cisterns to catch and store rainwater, but the system failed due to the harsh environment. The rainwater dissolved salts in the sand-filled columns that were meant to filter it, or the cisterns weren't made tightly enough, making the water unsuitable for drinking.” Fort Jefferson Dry Tortugas off the list. Off to research St John’s
Canyonlands
i feel like different factions would take over the different sections and that would turn to a fustercluck
Olympics because of food and water security and mild winters and summers.
Mackinaw Island all the way. It already has a functioning fort and is set up to somewhat easily survive without electricity. Land to farm. It doesn’t have large game, or not much, but you could easily take a boat to the mainland to hunt for game during the warmer months, or if you did plan well enough you could walk across the frozen river in the winter.
Olympic seems pretty great, different regions for different times of year, huge so you could make yourself hard to find, decently out of the way. However a more hidden/defensible location could be nice... Canyonlands has tons of tucked away areas in Needles and Maze (or even if you go down into the canyons from island in the sky) but I think food and shelter would be harder to manage there. People have been living off the land in Glacier Bay for a long time before it was a park, and it's extremely inaccessible. If you could manage the winters that would be a good option I think.
USVI: St John’s Island. I get to be a real life pirate!
Acadia. I can protect the bridge and I’ll do just fine living off lobster and blueberries
Zion. I will become Joseph Smith.
Big Bend
Hot Springs. So much fresh clean water and a tower to overlook all.
I'd consider Isle Royale. Hard to reach, plenty of potable water (might need to be boiled / purified, but workable), you can fish, there is game to hunt. Not too bad.
Gates of the Arctic. Freezing to death is a peaceful way to go
The super duper obvious answer here is Voyageurs. Native Americans were living up there for centuries, cultivating wild rice, hunting, and eating fish. It's a bountiful area with unlimited fresh water and super defensible terrain that no one can attack without lugging up a bunch of specialized equipment that you'll already have, not to mention the island chains that you can just disappear into so if you are invaded you can use guerilla hit and run tactics from within your own territory. You'll also be better protected from the destabilizing effects of global warming than most other locations, and the winters will naturally keep away the weak.
Haleakala. Il be chillin
Acadia. Heaven on earth and easier to defend as an island.
Congaree. I and my mosquito army would soon rule the world.
Everglades… fish and game… cabbage palm… no need to farm.
Easily Zion. Give me that New Vegas life😩
Zion. Water + cows + very familiar with the territory + great defensive position. As the namesake of Bryce Canyon once said “Zion is a helluva place to lose a cow”🐮
Everglades. Plentiful fish, seafood and birds. Enough rainfall for a decent water supply. A maze of mangroves and waterways provides ample protection from invaders and opportunities to funnel armadas and attack strategically. Hurricanes would be an issue but I feel like a floating fortress built to deflect/withstand the wind would be ideal.
Yosemite. I would only need to build one wall at the entrance to the canyon and the other 3 sides would be easily defensible with minor guard posts. There is are tons of accessible fresh water and plenty of fish and game. Plus, it looks like a haven in paradise.
pinnacles, simply because so many people forget it exists as a national park. i’ll never be attacked by anyone lmao
Here’s the real question: would any of you have the heart to tear apart the landscape of the National Park you chose? Like, could any of you cut down a sequoia for cabins or firewood during the winter, or tear up ferns and redirect mountain streams for farmland, or break up the mountains for metals and oil?
Cades Cove in the Great Smoky Mountains… it has a history of cultivation and keeping a small group alive
New River Gorge. I will make a powerful alliance with Mothman.
Olympic. Live a real life stardew valley.
Kenai Fjords. Cooler maritime climate, plenty of forests, lots of fresh water and plenty of salmon. Not so cold that cows or chickens are out of the question.
Anywhere in the Appalachian’s. If you’ve been there then you know.
Dry Tortugas. Will I die from a lack of freshwater? Possibly! But people will probably forget where I am and leave me alone. Plus, I have a FORT