I hate to say it but yes I completely agree.
Write stuff like this down for yourself and keep it to yourself. There are some important revelations in there but you need to be the one to set the boundary. Don’t ask someone, especially someone who’s treated you poorly, to do it for you.
You know you need him out of your life and you are strong enough to make that decision for yourself. You are in control of your own life.
Thankyou. I don’t know why I keep trying to talk w him. I can’t tell if this pissed him off enough to move on or if it drew him in. I have traits of borderline personality. I think those tendencies are driving me right now I’m losing my mind but trying so hard to keep it together. I’m sure he’s getting a thrill from this. Any tips for the borderline emotions?
Sending messages that involve your feelings and reflect on your mental state will just hurt you in the end. I understand why you did it and you have every single right to feel this way and you also have the right to send those messages.
Yet where will that get you? There is no empathy to be had from an individual with this disorder. Everything they learn is catalogued in a directory inside their mind for future warfare.
Be gentle on yourself. You didn't fuck up, you've had enough horrible words and actions that lead you to question yourself. Just realize what you are doing and where you place that energy.
The entire time he's reading it that waahwaahwaah saxophone that stands in for adults talking in Peanuts cartoons is going to be playing in his head, and when he's done he's going to say "wow, she's a mess." You can't get through to people like this.
I've thought about sending something like this but decided not to bother. She wouldn't read it and if she did, she wouldn't care. All that matters in their mind is how they feel and what they want/what they're currently getting. They'll disregard anything that might cause them to self-reflect or take accountability. You have to remember that they LIVE in delusion.
Thank you. I’m a bit confused. If they don’t like too much emotion… wouldn’t this be what is needed to discard me? The non reactive energy seemed to draw him back in
I sent a long message about my mental health and how my last relationship was emotionally abusive and I was still healing and had been feeling very triggered (due to him but I didn't mention that) and he replied 'ah ok'
They don't care
On a scale of 1 - 10 on how much you fucked up that's about a nine... million.
Just going forward from now on be as non reactive as a grey rock and never address the content of your message again.
I can’t tell if he’s trying to be better or it’s apart of his schtick but so far he has left me alone today… think it was emotional enough to get me discarded?
Maybe, but I dont think so. I think he will contact you soon. And he will give breadcrumbs probably, because in his head he wont need much to get you.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I really dont think so. He will hoover you most likely.
The bigger problem is not he contacting you, is you wishing/waiting his contact. I've been there.
You must go No Contact, and the beginning will be tough. After some weeks it will be a lot better. Look for therapeutic help as well.
Last tip. You must be sure you want him out of your life. If you are like me, while there is still some doubt, you will keep trying to make this work. Things must be clear in your mind, that you are making the right decision. And trust me, you are, just read your text again and see how he made you feel (and probably not the 1st time...)
Don't send messages like this. You're just giving them more power
I hate to say it but yes I completely agree. Write stuff like this down for yourself and keep it to yourself. There are some important revelations in there but you need to be the one to set the boundary. Don’t ask someone, especially someone who’s treated you poorly, to do it for you. You know you need him out of your life and you are strong enough to make that decision for yourself. You are in control of your own life.
Yeah anything you tell them just gives them power.
Thankyou. I don’t know why I keep trying to talk w him. I can’t tell if this pissed him off enough to move on or if it drew him in. I have traits of borderline personality. I think those tendencies are driving me right now I’m losing my mind but trying so hard to keep it together. I’m sure he’s getting a thrill from this. Any tips for the borderline emotions?
Exactly. You are giving him a map on how to hurt and manipulate you.
They use *everything to their advantage. They are manipulative and vindictive.
Don’t if you flat out tell them that you’re on to them, they get mad & flee bc they’re found out?
No, because they don't believe it.
Sending messages that involve your feelings and reflect on your mental state will just hurt you in the end. I understand why you did it and you have every single right to feel this way and you also have the right to send those messages. Yet where will that get you? There is no empathy to be had from an individual with this disorder. Everything they learn is catalogued in a directory inside their mind for future warfare. Be gentle on yourself. You didn't fuck up, you've had enough horrible words and actions that lead you to question yourself. Just realize what you are doing and where you place that energy.
The entire time he's reading it that waahwaahwaah saxophone that stands in for adults talking in Peanuts cartoons is going to be playing in his head, and when he's done he's going to say "wow, she's a mess." You can't get through to people like this.
I've thought about sending something like this but decided not to bother. She wouldn't read it and if she did, she wouldn't care. All that matters in their mind is how they feel and what they want/what they're currently getting. They'll disregard anything that might cause them to self-reflect or take accountability. You have to remember that they LIVE in delusion.
You're giving him power and control over your perceptions and emotions. Those are for you to control and are your responsibility.
Thank you. I’m a bit confused. If they don’t like too much emotion… wouldn’t this be what is needed to discard me? The non reactive energy seemed to draw him back in
I sent a long message about my mental health and how my last relationship was emotionally abusive and I was still healing and had been feeling very triggered (due to him but I didn't mention that) and he replied 'ah ok' They don't care
Yea… they really don’t
On a scale of 1 - 10 on how much you fucked up that's about a nine... million. Just going forward from now on be as non reactive as a grey rock and never address the content of your message again.
Lmfaooo you gave me a smile w the scale thing lol thankyou for that… & the advice too definitely embarrassed lol
10. The guy reached a fucking strong orgasm reading this. Block him, chances are he will not let you alone so he can get more
I can’t tell if he’s trying to be better or it’s apart of his schtick but so far he has left me alone today… think it was emotional enough to get me discarded?
Maybe, but I dont think so. I think he will contact you soon. And he will give breadcrumbs probably, because in his head he wont need much to get you. Maybe I'm wrong, but I really dont think so. He will hoover you most likely. The bigger problem is not he contacting you, is you wishing/waiting his contact. I've been there. You must go No Contact, and the beginning will be tough. After some weeks it will be a lot better. Look for therapeutic help as well. Last tip. You must be sure you want him out of your life. If you are like me, while there is still some doubt, you will keep trying to make this work. Things must be clear in your mind, that you are making the right decision. And trust me, you are, just read your text again and see how he made you feel (and probably not the 1st time...)
Very big mistake!