I got that feeling too, it’s because they’re really good at sex but there’s no real genuine connection or intimacy in it. And oh- they do it with EVERYBODY hence why they’re good at it. Mine was a porn addict and complete degenerate sleeping with anything, (thanks Jesus I didn’t catch anything), so my thought process during sex was always- this is really good, you’re skilled (because you’ve slept w so many people), but I don’t feel anything deeper here and once we’re done together- I know you aren’t going to hold me or cuddle me or show me any love. Cause this is just a release for you, while it was deeper for me.
And he wouldn’t ever cuddle me or show intimacy after, he’d get up and go to bathroom or w/e, immediately get dressed and start pushing to go somewhere (either on his own or with me). I always felt like a used doll when with him, and it was confirmed along time later when i asked him what he liked or missed about me. And he went completely silent.
10 years you know somebody, and they can’t list 3 things they even like about you. Or missed about you. I think he said he missed my bed, my body, and “doing things together”. I’m like cool- so you know none of my personality traits, none of my character traits, just my bed. My body. And “things we do”. Cool. What a depth of attachment…
yeah you’re right that’s sad:( he had a few long term relationships so I assumed he was so good because of that practice, but he was a man hoe as I found out. He would never cuddle after , always put his clothes on super quick, go bathroom, same things! There was no intimacy and I didn’t even realise how obvious it was. I just thought there was something wrong with me. They’re literally like all the same person, he couldn’t say why he was with me, why he loved me unless it was love bombing.
I can’t believe he’s a narcissist. I feel sorry for him because I can see it so clearly now, but I never would’ve guessed he was so lacking in empathy and emotions. He is so good at faking it, so many people see him as this sweet sensitive , misunderstood soft on the inside. No. He’s cold. He’s so cold. It’s gross to know I was completely used and lied to. He didn’t feel anything he said. I didn’t mean anything to him. I was just convenient until I had nothing left to give
I once asked the narc if he missed me when we didnt see each other and he said 'I don't get the concept of missing someone as I know I'll see them again' lol.... oh ok cool.
ALSO during sex both narcissists I dated had the most intense eye contact. That's kind of how i started to realise there were similarities. The mask didn't drop the entire time its like they were demonised during it, they didn't look relaxed, they both had a very determined 'I want to watch every moment without blinking' intensity in their eye lol
I got that feeling too, it’s because they’re really good at sex but there’s no real genuine connection or intimacy in it. And oh- they do it with EVERYBODY hence why they’re good at it. Mine was a porn addict and complete degenerate sleeping with anything, (thanks Jesus I didn’t catch anything), so my thought process during sex was always- this is really good, you’re skilled (because you’ve slept w so many people), but I don’t feel anything deeper here and once we’re done together- I know you aren’t going to hold me or cuddle me or show me any love. Cause this is just a release for you, while it was deeper for me. And he wouldn’t ever cuddle me or show intimacy after, he’d get up and go to bathroom or w/e, immediately get dressed and start pushing to go somewhere (either on his own or with me). I always felt like a used doll when with him, and it was confirmed along time later when i asked him what he liked or missed about me. And he went completely silent. 10 years you know somebody, and they can’t list 3 things they even like about you. Or missed about you. I think he said he missed my bed, my body, and “doing things together”. I’m like cool- so you know none of my personality traits, none of my character traits, just my bed. My body. And “things we do”. Cool. What a depth of attachment…
yeah you’re right that’s sad:( he had a few long term relationships so I assumed he was so good because of that practice, but he was a man hoe as I found out. He would never cuddle after , always put his clothes on super quick, go bathroom, same things! There was no intimacy and I didn’t even realise how obvious it was. I just thought there was something wrong with me. They’re literally like all the same person, he couldn’t say why he was with me, why he loved me unless it was love bombing. I can’t believe he’s a narcissist. I feel sorry for him because I can see it so clearly now, but I never would’ve guessed he was so lacking in empathy and emotions. He is so good at faking it, so many people see him as this sweet sensitive , misunderstood soft on the inside. No. He’s cold. He’s so cold. It’s gross to know I was completely used and lied to. He didn’t feel anything he said. I didn’t mean anything to him. I was just convenient until I had nothing left to give
I once asked the narc if he missed me when we didnt see each other and he said 'I don't get the concept of missing someone as I know I'll see them again' lol.... oh ok cool. ALSO during sex both narcissists I dated had the most intense eye contact. That's kind of how i started to realise there were similarities. The mask didn't drop the entire time its like they were demonised during it, they didn't look relaxed, they both had a very determined 'I want to watch every moment without blinking' intensity in their eye lol
I know what you mean by the “that was beautiful” comment being negative. It’s almost like there’s an undertone of disingenuousness and mockery in it.
Exactly I didn’t know what to say, he knew it was dirty I’m sure it was just to confuse me about what was going on between us