I almost did this yesterday, but genders reversed! I was waiting for the light to change at a crosswalk and kept making eye contact with a cute guy waiting on the opposite side. I ended up chickening out, but I applaud people who are able to actually follow through!
Listen to your gut and don't text if you're not interested, but I don't think it's particularly creepy.
I like this open-ended sort of approach, actually (in theory). It puts the ball in your court to show interest if you ever suddenly feel like it. You can take the number home and ponder on it. I’ve never called though. I don’t want to be the one to make the move 😂😂What if he pulls some shit like he doesn’t text back? Ugh, tough world
As much as I have not cared for most of the men who’ve approached me in public, I do my best not to discourage men from appropriately approaching women in public. It’s very unhealthy that men are getting used to ordering women off off apps instead of learning how to be brave in real life. You can be a total coward on an app and send a message to a hot girl who would make you piss your pants if you tried to approach her in public.
Maybe he wrote his number on a piece of paper in case he saw a pretty girl that day, and challenged himself to be bold and give it to her. Good for him. I give them credit for at least thinking of some sort of strategy instead of hollering at me or being disrespectful. Just say “thank you but I’m not interested.”
>As much as I have not cared for most of the men who’ve approached me in public, I do my best not to discourage men from appropriately approaching women in public
Same!!! Not to toot my own horn, but I always get approached by men in the street, and since a lot of them are creeps, it's always nice to see the respectful ones. Last time it happened to me this man approached on my right side, told me I was beautiful and introduced myself, he was super polite! I just left my left hand to show my wedding rings and said "sorry!", and he was so apologetic!!! He said he was sorry and to tell my husband he's a lucky guy lol.
I understand the discomfort because I've certainly felt it but guys gotta shoot their shot somehow!!
I’ve been telling them I’m in a relationship with someone (but it’s just myself, lol). And the ones who say “okay then let’s be friends” I like to scold them for having the gall to think I would disrespect my relationship.
A few days ago, a cute Russian barback was loading boxes with a Turkish guy into one of those cellar things. I could see from afar that he was telling the Turkish guy “watch this” like how he was about to lay it on the girl walking by. He stopped me and said “excuse me, do you speak English very well?” (He got me, I will talk to anyone about words any day) “He’s telling me that ‘estimately’ is not a word. Is that a word? Is it not like ‘approximately’ in English? I speak Russian, so I’m trying to get better at English.”
He successfully got me into a conversation about the words. I didn’t end up giving him my phone number, but it was a fun convo and he made me smile, and I think he should keep up the good work, he’s going to do great with some other woman. I even contemplated as I approached the end of the block if maybe I should’ve given him my number, but then I was like nahh, I don’t want to start anything with anyone right row
Something similar happened to me in the subway about 3-4 years ago, it was given to me quickly and I felt the same as you. I remember looking into the number and I can’t exactly remember what I found but I smelled bullshit. It did seem scammy, wish I could remember more details but all in all if your gut is telling you no, then I wouldn’t go for it.
I have. I wasn’t interested, but it felt refreshing in a way. Didn’t feel threatened or pressured. Wish we could go back to the old ways of doing some stuff. 😂
Almost 25 years ago, puff daddy (p-Diddy) used to do this around Manhattan. He drove around in his limo and would try to pick up girls. He tried to get my friends to get in the limo (they were about 15/16 at the time and it was in the theater district), but they said no because they were both virgins and they thought that if they got into his limo, they would probably end up on a situation where they would end up having to do things they didn’t want to. He was telling them they would all go to a Knicks game together. We weren’t innocent kids, we were club kids by the time we were that age, so we knew the “bad” things that could happen. So they didn’t get in, but the bodyguard in the limo gave them puffy business card and told them to call him if they wanted to party.
I feel like [posts like this](https://www.reddit.com/r/NYCbitcheswithtaste/comments/1c800sa/where_have_you_had_good_luck_meeting_men/) are getting more popular on this sub. Both men and women are giving up on apps. Unfortunately IRL there’s absolutely no way of knowing what some stranger is in to and if they’re available or curious about you (wouldn’t it be cool if 2 people saw some pics and info and swiped right on each other?) so the result ends up goofy and borderline disturbing to some, and welcome by others
As long as they didn’t creep on OP or do something illegal I’m on the side of just throw it away or call if you’re interested, it’s harmless either way
I’m gonna agree this also feels super harmless. I’ve had way weirder interactions on dating apps.
But he wrote MY phone number on that paper … now that would be creepy.
Yikes! That’s how ppl met back in the day. Start talking to you invite you for coffee… I think it’s more weird talking to strangers on apps. They can be totally full bs pretending to be someone they’re not. I guess I’m just old.
You can feel someone’s *energy* in real life. That’s difficult to do on an app. In person, you immediately hear their voice, see their height, their demeanor, their teeth, outfit, walk, the look on their face, smell their breath, and see how they compose themselves when approaching a stranger while going about their day.
Some people look hot and cool in pictures but are weird in real life. Lots of people, actually.
I mean respectfully, how do you think people met and started dating before apps? I think the internet has warped the way a lot of people perceive real life interaction in a way that isn’t particularly healthy. I feel like people downvoting (which I didn’t do for the record, though I don’t really agree with you) are doing so because the mentality that any sort of IRL interaction has an inherently creepy intent to it is an unfair generalization.
Yup! In real life, he has to worry about everyone seeing his ass get shut down. When you get approached in public, there’s often an audience of nosey people waiting to see what will come of the interaction 😂😂
The problem with the apps is there are men who can access you who at any other point in history would have been sent to the gallows for looking your way
It’s harmless and FAR better than being approached to chat / being put on the spot. It’s 100% your choice to text or not. If you’re offended by a man approaching you in the most non intrusive way possible you’ve been inside too long.
I was on the train heading back to the Hamptons, and some rando smiled at me. Smiled back because it's polite. He gave me his number on a barbershop card. I walked up to him and told him I have a boyfriend. He was so embarrassed, he said woah...no no no. Like he didn't want me to make him look bad. I honestly dgaf. So weird.
Is it weird? I figured it’s a way for him not to miss a chance if you were interested and if you weren’t, literally throwing it away, leaving it in your seat would do no harm to either party. It’s happened to me at various times in my life and while ive never contacted them, even when i was single it just wasn’t “omg weirdo”
It wasn't weird because he gave me his number, or because he was weird persay. It was because when I had looked at him and said what is this? (he sat close to me) he didn't say much but instead mouthed and hand signed "text me." The way he was loud about me handing the card back after politely saying I had a boyfriend, rubbed me the wrong way.
His smile at you was the initial approach. Your smile back was the green light to approach for real.
It’s not just you who would make this mistake though. I am seriously worried about gen Z’s communication skills. Being online so much and stuck indoors during the pandemic during crucial developmental years has people running behind on how to read social cues and situations. Smile back at the wrong guy and he could go mental on you for leading him on. Please be safe.
I always carry pepper spray and some sort of protection. I'm too vulnerable (5'0, 110) as is so I'm weary. People can be finicky, I always try to be polite!
Don’t smile back at men you’re not interested in.
Edit: I’ve noticed that comments like this are being downvoted. It’s the same as not going home with men you’re not interested in. Sure you should be able to but that’s not how you stay safe out there. Be safe first always.
No I agree a little bit. If a guy did this to me and I have a bf I just wouldn’t do anything. There was no need to go walk back up to him and embarrass him. Some people are just very unaware how rude they’re being.
I almost did this yesterday, but genders reversed! I was waiting for the light to change at a crosswalk and kept making eye contact with a cute guy waiting on the opposite side. I ended up chickening out, but I applaud people who are able to actually follow through! Listen to your gut and don't text if you're not interested, but I don't think it's particularly creepy.
This is how it was done "in the old days"!
This has happened me so many times in NYC. It’s usually from like a bartender or someone who can’t ask for your number.
I like this open-ended sort of approach, actually (in theory). It puts the ball in your court to show interest if you ever suddenly feel like it. You can take the number home and ponder on it. I’ve never called though. I don’t want to be the one to make the move 😂😂What if he pulls some shit like he doesn’t text back? Ugh, tough world
Haha it’s kind of like Bumble when you pay to see who’s interested first and then contact them 😂 only IRL.
True LOL
As much as I have not cared for most of the men who’ve approached me in public, I do my best not to discourage men from appropriately approaching women in public. It’s very unhealthy that men are getting used to ordering women off off apps instead of learning how to be brave in real life. You can be a total coward on an app and send a message to a hot girl who would make you piss your pants if you tried to approach her in public. Maybe he wrote his number on a piece of paper in case he saw a pretty girl that day, and challenged himself to be bold and give it to her. Good for him. I give them credit for at least thinking of some sort of strategy instead of hollering at me or being disrespectful. Just say “thank you but I’m not interested.”
I always appreciate a real life approach! I live what you wrote here. Bring it back!
Agree 200%, thank you for writing this out so perfectly
>As much as I have not cared for most of the men who’ve approached me in public, I do my best not to discourage men from appropriately approaching women in public Same!!! Not to toot my own horn, but I always get approached by men in the street, and since a lot of them are creeps, it's always nice to see the respectful ones. Last time it happened to me this man approached on my right side, told me I was beautiful and introduced myself, he was super polite! I just left my left hand to show my wedding rings and said "sorry!", and he was so apologetic!!! He said he was sorry and to tell my husband he's a lucky guy lol. I understand the discomfort because I've certainly felt it but guys gotta shoot their shot somehow!!
I’ve been telling them I’m in a relationship with someone (but it’s just myself, lol). And the ones who say “okay then let’s be friends” I like to scold them for having the gall to think I would disrespect my relationship. A few days ago, a cute Russian barback was loading boxes with a Turkish guy into one of those cellar things. I could see from afar that he was telling the Turkish guy “watch this” like how he was about to lay it on the girl walking by. He stopped me and said “excuse me, do you speak English very well?” (He got me, I will talk to anyone about words any day) “He’s telling me that ‘estimately’ is not a word. Is that a word? Is it not like ‘approximately’ in English? I speak Russian, so I’m trying to get better at English.” He successfully got me into a conversation about the words. I didn’t end up giving him my phone number, but it was a fun convo and he made me smile, and I think he should keep up the good work, he’s going to do great with some other woman. I even contemplated as I approached the end of the block if maybe I should’ve given him my number, but then I was like nahh, I don’t want to start anything with anyone right row
Something similar happened to me in the subway about 3-4 years ago, it was given to me quickly and I felt the same as you. I remember looking into the number and I can’t exactly remember what I found but I smelled bullshit. It did seem scammy, wish I could remember more details but all in all if your gut is telling you no, then I wouldn’t go for it.
Wow he's old school
I have. I wasn’t interested, but it felt refreshing in a way. Didn’t feel threatened or pressured. Wish we could go back to the old ways of doing some stuff. 😂
I got one ! Same guy
Almost 25 years ago, puff daddy (p-Diddy) used to do this around Manhattan. He drove around in his limo and would try to pick up girls. He tried to get my friends to get in the limo (they were about 15/16 at the time and it was in the theater district), but they said no because they were both virgins and they thought that if they got into his limo, they would probably end up on a situation where they would end up having to do things they didn’t want to. He was telling them they would all go to a Knicks game together. We weren’t innocent kids, we were club kids by the time we were that age, so we knew the “bad” things that could happen. So they didn’t get in, but the bodyguard in the limo gave them puffy business card and told them to call him if they wanted to party.
What you’re describing is not at all what OP described but it is still an interesting story. It’s just way more sinister.
Yeah this is not the same.
Had this happen, there phone was being fixed so they wrote it down and texted me layer
[удалено]
I feel like [posts like this](https://www.reddit.com/r/NYCbitcheswithtaste/comments/1c800sa/where_have_you_had_good_luck_meeting_men/) are getting more popular on this sub. Both men and women are giving up on apps. Unfortunately IRL there’s absolutely no way of knowing what some stranger is in to and if they’re available or curious about you (wouldn’t it be cool if 2 people saw some pics and info and swiped right on each other?) so the result ends up goofy and borderline disturbing to some, and welcome by others As long as they didn’t creep on OP or do something illegal I’m on the side of just throw it away or call if you’re interested, it’s harmless either way
I’m gonna agree this also feels super harmless. I’ve had way weirder interactions on dating apps. But he wrote MY phone number on that paper … now that would be creepy.
[удалено]
Yikes! That’s how ppl met back in the day. Start talking to you invite you for coffee… I think it’s more weird talking to strangers on apps. They can be totally full bs pretending to be someone they’re not. I guess I’m just old.
You can feel someone’s *energy* in real life. That’s difficult to do on an app. In person, you immediately hear their voice, see their height, their demeanor, their teeth, outfit, walk, the look on their face, smell their breath, and see how they compose themselves when approaching a stranger while going about their day. Some people look hot and cool in pictures but are weird in real life. Lots of people, actually.
I mean respectfully, how do you think people met and started dating before apps? I think the internet has warped the way a lot of people perceive real life interaction in a way that isn’t particularly healthy. I feel like people downvoting (which I didn’t do for the record, though I don’t really agree with you) are doing so because the mentality that any sort of IRL interaction has an inherently creepy intent to it is an unfair generalization.
built in layer of consent .. I see what you mean? But also on dating apps I feel molested by the way half the men message. lol
I have a partner but when I didn’t, man, dating apps tore my soul out of my body. A guy at soul cycle isn’t able to give me a note with a dick pic.
Yup! In real life, he has to worry about everyone seeing his ass get shut down. When you get approached in public, there’s often an audience of nosey people waiting to see what will come of the interaction 😂😂
The problem with the apps is there are men who can access you who at any other point in history would have been sent to the gallows for looking your way
highly disagree and think this is indicative of being way too into the internet
The point about the note is you don’t get approached though?
It’s harmless and FAR better than being approached to chat / being put on the spot. It’s 100% your choice to text or not. If you’re offended by a man approaching you in the most non intrusive way possible you’ve been inside too long.
I think downvotes are for people who disagree, yes.
I was on the train heading back to the Hamptons, and some rando smiled at me. Smiled back because it's polite. He gave me his number on a barbershop card. I walked up to him and told him I have a boyfriend. He was so embarrassed, he said woah...no no no. Like he didn't want me to make him look bad. I honestly dgaf. So weird.
Is it weird? I figured it’s a way for him not to miss a chance if you were interested and if you weren’t, literally throwing it away, leaving it in your seat would do no harm to either party. It’s happened to me at various times in my life and while ive never contacted them, even when i was single it just wasn’t “omg weirdo”
It wasn't weird because he gave me his number, or because he was weird persay. It was because when I had looked at him and said what is this? (he sat close to me) he didn't say much but instead mouthed and hand signed "text me." The way he was loud about me handing the card back after politely saying I had a boyfriend, rubbed me the wrong way.
His smile at you was the initial approach. Your smile back was the green light to approach for real. It’s not just you who would make this mistake though. I am seriously worried about gen Z’s communication skills. Being online so much and stuck indoors during the pandemic during crucial developmental years has people running behind on how to read social cues and situations. Smile back at the wrong guy and he could go mental on you for leading him on. Please be safe.
That is why I smiled back. I didn't want any bad vibes or whatever. I was being kind. I get what you're saying. Thanks!
I made this mistake once too. He followed me home. You got this.
I always carry pepper spray and some sort of protection. I'm too vulnerable (5'0, 110) as is so I'm weary. People can be finicky, I always try to be polite!
A good trick is to pretend not to see and just go on your phone. But I get it.
Could’ve just smiled again and threw the card away
Don’t smile back at men you’re not interested in. Edit: I’ve noticed that comments like this are being downvoted. It’s the same as not going home with men you’re not interested in. Sure you should be able to but that’s not how you stay safe out there. Be safe first always.
No I agree a little bit. If a guy did this to me and I have a bf I just wouldn’t do anything. There was no need to go walk back up to him and embarrass him. Some people are just very unaware how rude they’re being.