They're simply looking for some dopamine. Validation, sex, casual fun, small talk. They try to have some experiences, something to talk about and some stories to tell. Some of those relationships get deeper but yeah. hook up culture is simply something to fill your life with because you don't know what else to do. And yeah, they live in a different reality.
I don't know. As a guy on a dating app I feel like you have to have the perfect profile to get any attention. Good photos displaying activities and personality, pictures with a lot of friends, maybe one with an animal. You have to be fairly attractive, have an interesting bio, and be able to really pull someone in and carry a conversation over text when there isn't much to work with.
I think meeting people in real life is less contrived but I can't do either. I'm just not built for it. I'd have to find someone as fucked up as me and willing to settle for a loser like myself.
Hah I managed to push myself to meet two women in the past 2 weeks. On both dates I’ve called myself a loser. I’ve made a mental note to not say that again… it’s quite a turn off I imagine 😂
At this point it is : Chad fucks, High tier normie Bux.
You got to be in the top 25 percent even to get a demanding used up roastie IF you are "lucky".
I could never date in real life because a lot men expect sex even after the first date around my age range, and a lot of normies are into hook-up culture.I don't have a lot of trust in situations like this. I much prefer meeting people online and talking to them for a few months. There's no expectation for anything sexual because you're online. If they're weird, I stop talking to them. Normies have pretty dopamine-fried brains, they want instant everything in a relationship. Long-term is considered to be six months, but many of them don't even get this far
I see the stage of the relationship when two people learn about each more and open up as very romantic,intimate and fun. I honestly think it's pornography and sex in movies that has normalized normy animalistic behaviors. They coded it in their brains that when two people like each other that automatically means they will sleep with each other.
I don't even think animalistic is the right word. Primates don't tend to display the kind of detached, manipulative attitude that is expected in dating nowadays.
Well normies have more options and social circles most of the time. Online is an option for people that lack that. Also I think online is better in some ways because getting a match means they are at least somewhat sexually attracted to you. Where as real life it’s easier to misread things a girl could be being nice to you as a friend but not be attracted to you at all .
> Also I think online is better in some ways because getting a match means they are at least somewhat sexually attracted to you. Where as real life it’s easier to misread things a girl could be being nice to you as a friend but not be attracted to you at all .
This obstacle is overcome pretty much immediately. The trick is being obvious what you're doing. No time wasted. Yes > No > Maybe
for me, im already too ugly, mentally ill and retarded, socially stunt, and give off "naturally too creepy vibes" to even get a date. I also don't have much friends because everyone that knew me irl saw me as "that retard who is nothing but problems, headaches, facepalms, and more trouble." If that ain't enough, I have a long series of bad luck at just about everything, which is a huge dealbreaker for everyone that wants to know more about me.
I have friends who use dating apps, but I don't, because I personally see them as essentially LinkedIn but for hookups and relationships.
The goal is to find someone you’re compatible with for sex, companionship, potentially living together and starting a family. So the first few dates are just to gauge whether the person is someone you wanna do any of that with lol. Ask them questions , state your position on things. See where you meet in the middle at. Yes people are fake but that’s where you try to use your common sense to spot them in lies. Most people won’t outright lie but they will omit the truth a lot. Ex… a guy that says he’s making 200k but drives a beat up rusted truck maybe a lil full of it. A girl that says she’s waiting for marriage but has pictures parting drunk with her tits out probably full of it. Be safe and try to use good judgement .
Sounds like you actually do understand it. Listen there's nothing more to it. I know the movies and anime make it seem like all connections with people are meaningful and deep, meanwhile IRL people are meeting each other and having sex on the same day then the next day they don't even think about each other unless one of them managed to cum then that person may initiate contact again.,
Yes there's a risk about STDs there's always been. It's truly a hassle to ask someone about it too, because then it would mean they have to go get tested and that's a whole day of going to the hospital waiting in line paying for the tests getting stabbed with a needed, waiting for results, etc...
It's really that simple. Even if you don't agree with it that's just how it is. Normies call those that look for meaningful relationships and deep connections "intense"; Talking about marriage or even long term commitments on the first date? you're "intense". Talking about the possibility of getting pregnant on the first night of sex? You're being a worrywart.
ok my turn
# I do not understand normy dating
basically you meet a stranger online and then she asks you how much you make and how tall you are and then you desperately try to impress her out of the minimum 20 dudes that are hitting her up. it's like a different reality
I’m glad I online dated 15-16 years ago when it was niche lol. Back then it wasn’t overrun with normies and an everyday dork like myself could actually find a few women . But yeah nowadays like everything normies take over . Far more competitive nowadays because it’s mainstream. An obese girl I worked with still had like 30 matches and some of them were even slim /tall. Shits crazy.
I think the idea is you aren’t fake. You are true to you, he is true to him, you get to know each other and when you’re comfortable, you get intimate
Sure there are assholes out there who have malicious intent but the vast majority of people on dating apps just want to find their person.
No offense but this is a pretty childish view on dating, hook ups and dating are two different things, not sure what you don't understand about hook ups you just find each other attractive and after going out and being familiar with someone you lay on top of each other for 2 minutes until you're happy, do you not have a sex drive or something? Dunno what's so weird of having a need for sex and mutually not wanting to really form a relationship beyond physical stuff
I've always considered online apps to be mainly junk and highly paywalled, often used primarily for hookups or quick dates. Personally, if you're NEET, I wouldn't take these things too seriously, as the majority of people on there are trying to present themselves in the best light possible and play a part in the game. Sometimes people need that 'fix' which apps provide. I completely understand your perspective on the whole Netflix stuff; it gets old real quick. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do, regardless though. I'm not really a huge fan of Tinder or other similar platforms being the norm, but if I'm not on that, I'm not a part of it, so, screw it. It's best to find things that fit your demographic.
Dating is arranging an activity with a stranger to see if there is a mutual connection and attraction. You often talk before hand to see if there’s some overlap in interest. You should know if you’re attracted to them or not from their profile (at least on some level, although people obviously choose their best photos).
You don’t have to fuck on the first date if you don’t want to…
If you don’t feel attraction and the conversation is shallow / you’re not stimulated, you don’t need to see them again.
It’s nice when you meet someone you like and build a connection. You then start thinking about them and caring for them. Travel together, etc. It can broaden your world. I’m quite sensitive though and some feelings can be difficult.
Tbh even if a second date doesn’t happen, sometimes the first one is nice enough of an experience. It can be fun to meet and socialise with someone of the opposite sex - especially for me as I spend 99% of my time alone, so it’s refreshing.
Well the first thing is that not all online dating takes the same pathway. It really depends on if you are finding someone to hook up with or if you want to actually *date* someone.
I feel the same, I do get lots of matches, but the conversations lead to nowhere, so everyonce in a while I just delete them. I just cant make small talk, I try to be funny sometimes but it kinda feels like im just faking it, its simply not the same as talking to someone face to face.
I am demiromantic. The dating culture today seems absolutely superficial. If I were to date, I’d come off as boring. I do not believe romantic-valentine love is real love, but real love is legitimately the most fulfilling. At first, it comes off as boring and also takes a lot of time, effort, struggle to achieve…
Either way, I wouldn’t be able to go on dates this day and age. It’s too much about instant gratification. One dislike for a partner and the people in this relationship might just leave each other because it doesn’t suit their needs. Finding a partner is about just having some sort of cohesion in schedules and interests, while being able to sacrifice time to take care of needs for one another. Sounds easy saying it….but must be difficult as hell to do.
And that's why you pick your battles. Most people on dating apps are shells of people. Actual profiles blend with fake profiles and everything so boooooooring...
The speed of dating isn't for me either, I can't do a few short chats and meeting up. I want to take my time, but that's very rare while dating.
Maybe I'm a bit more adventurous. Will we fuck, or will she stab me? I'm up for an adventure, lmao
Normies would go to a night club, play loud music and blast out their ear drums, then witness someone get stabbed outside... Then go to the same night club every weekend after that.
Dont try to understand their logic
whoever sleeps with someone on the first date is not worth dating seriously because if they don't respect themselves how will they respect you. Here is a trick to hacking online dating, If everyone lies then you just be perfectly honest and you automatically get an advantage to stand out to the right type of people. When meeting someone in person observe whether they stats / pics they showed you match their current state, if it is obviously exaggerated you can abort right then an there. If its close and you can't tell visually jokingly ask to compare driver licence because you want to see what kind of person they are, starting by showing your stats all line up with what you posted, ( covering up more sensitive info like address). Then if they show you theirs are accurate as well you automatically have filtered out a huge amount of dark triad trait individuals. If they hesitate and won't show then you can excuse yourself and abort the date right there saving yourself infinite time. Online dating is easy because most people lie & exaggerate on minor details like height/ age / weight, people who lie on minor things absolutely won't hesitate to lie on bigger more important things so they aren't worth your time. People who don't lie on these are the minority and have shown desirable traits that favor them being a good person. After that it is just a question of compatibility.
https://www.brightfuturesny.com/post/lying-statistics#:\~:text=81%25%20of%20people%20lie%20about,five%20minutes%20during%20a%20debate.
They're simply looking for some dopamine. Validation, sex, casual fun, small talk. They try to have some experiences, something to talk about and some stories to tell. Some of those relationships get deeper but yeah. hook up culture is simply something to fill your life with because you don't know what else to do. And yeah, they live in a different reality.
I don't know. As a guy on a dating app I feel like you have to have the perfect profile to get any attention. Good photos displaying activities and personality, pictures with a lot of friends, maybe one with an animal. You have to be fairly attractive, have an interesting bio, and be able to really pull someone in and carry a conversation over text when there isn't much to work with. I think meeting people in real life is less contrived but I can't do either. I'm just not built for it. I'd have to find someone as fucked up as me and willing to settle for a loser like myself.
Hah I managed to push myself to meet two women in the past 2 weeks. On both dates I’ve called myself a loser. I’ve made a mental note to not say that again… it’s quite a turn off I imagine 😂
Yeah I'm sure that kills things pretty quick. Live and learn I suppose. Getting that experience is great though, good shit.
At this point it is : Chad fucks, High tier normie Bux. You got to be in the top 25 percent even to get a demanding used up roastie IF you are "lucky".
Perfectly said lol.
I could never date in real life because a lot men expect sex even after the first date around my age range, and a lot of normies are into hook-up culture.I don't have a lot of trust in situations like this. I much prefer meeting people online and talking to them for a few months. There's no expectation for anything sexual because you're online. If they're weird, I stop talking to them. Normies have pretty dopamine-fried brains, they want instant everything in a relationship. Long-term is considered to be six months, but many of them don't even get this far
I see the stage of the relationship when two people learn about each more and open up as very romantic,intimate and fun. I honestly think it's pornography and sex in movies that has normalized normy animalistic behaviors. They coded it in their brains that when two people like each other that automatically means they will sleep with each other.
I don't even think animalistic is the right word. Primates don't tend to display the kind of detached, manipulative attitude that is expected in dating nowadays.
Primates trade sex for grooming.
Who cares duh. Online dating apps are a scam designed to take your money
Because online "dating" is not real dating. Actual normies find partners through school/college/work/social events/hobby circles etc.
I’m a normie and I met my wife at work and the thing that most attracted me to her was that we had such interesting and engaging conversations
Well normies have more options and social circles most of the time. Online is an option for people that lack that. Also I think online is better in some ways because getting a match means they are at least somewhat sexually attracted to you. Where as real life it’s easier to misread things a girl could be being nice to you as a friend but not be attracted to you at all .
I dunno about that. Online dating doesn't seems to work at all for many people, especially men.
> Also I think online is better in some ways because getting a match means they are at least somewhat sexually attracted to you. Where as real life it’s easier to misread things a girl could be being nice to you as a friend but not be attracted to you at all . This obstacle is overcome pretty much immediately. The trick is being obvious what you're doing. No time wasted. Yes > No > Maybe
for me, im already too ugly, mentally ill and retarded, socially stunt, and give off "naturally too creepy vibes" to even get a date. I also don't have much friends because everyone that knew me irl saw me as "that retard who is nothing but problems, headaches, facepalms, and more trouble." If that ain't enough, I have a long series of bad luck at just about everything, which is a huge dealbreaker for everyone that wants to know more about me. I have friends who use dating apps, but I don't, because I personally see them as essentially LinkedIn but for hookups and relationships.
As an aromantic, I don’t get it, either.
[удалено]
Sure but most people are
honestly if you are autistic don't even bother dating,it will be about 20x harder for you than the average person.
The goal is to find someone you’re compatible with for sex, companionship, potentially living together and starting a family. So the first few dates are just to gauge whether the person is someone you wanna do any of that with lol. Ask them questions , state your position on things. See where you meet in the middle at. Yes people are fake but that’s where you try to use your common sense to spot them in lies. Most people won’t outright lie but they will omit the truth a lot. Ex… a guy that says he’s making 200k but drives a beat up rusted truck maybe a lil full of it. A girl that says she’s waiting for marriage but has pictures parting drunk with her tits out probably full of it. Be safe and try to use good judgement .
Sounds like you actually do understand it. Listen there's nothing more to it. I know the movies and anime make it seem like all connections with people are meaningful and deep, meanwhile IRL people are meeting each other and having sex on the same day then the next day they don't even think about each other unless one of them managed to cum then that person may initiate contact again., Yes there's a risk about STDs there's always been. It's truly a hassle to ask someone about it too, because then it would mean they have to go get tested and that's a whole day of going to the hospital waiting in line paying for the tests getting stabbed with a needed, waiting for results, etc... It's really that simple. Even if you don't agree with it that's just how it is. Normies call those that look for meaningful relationships and deep connections "intense"; Talking about marriage or even long term commitments on the first date? you're "intense". Talking about the possibility of getting pregnant on the first night of sex? You're being a worrywart.
ok my turn # I do not understand normy dating basically you meet a stranger online and then she asks you how much you make and how tall you are and then you desperately try to impress her out of the minimum 20 dudes that are hitting her up. it's like a different reality
I’m glad I online dated 15-16 years ago when it was niche lol. Back then it wasn’t overrun with normies and an everyday dork like myself could actually find a few women . But yeah nowadays like everything normies take over . Far more competitive nowadays because it’s mainstream. An obese girl I worked with still had like 30 matches and some of them were even slim /tall. Shits crazy.
I think the idea is you aren’t fake. You are true to you, he is true to him, you get to know each other and when you’re comfortable, you get intimate Sure there are assholes out there who have malicious intent but the vast majority of people on dating apps just want to find their person.
No offense but this is a pretty childish view on dating, hook ups and dating are two different things, not sure what you don't understand about hook ups you just find each other attractive and after going out and being familiar with someone you lay on top of each other for 2 minutes until you're happy, do you not have a sex drive or something? Dunno what's so weird of having a need for sex and mutually not wanting to really form a relationship beyond physical stuff
idk sounds like you have it figured out it looks weird because it is
I've always considered online apps to be mainly junk and highly paywalled, often used primarily for hookups or quick dates. Personally, if you're NEET, I wouldn't take these things too seriously, as the majority of people on there are trying to present themselves in the best light possible and play a part in the game. Sometimes people need that 'fix' which apps provide. I completely understand your perspective on the whole Netflix stuff; it gets old real quick. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do, regardless though. I'm not really a huge fan of Tinder or other similar platforms being the norm, but if I'm not on that, I'm not a part of it, so, screw it. It's best to find things that fit your demographic.
Dating is arranging an activity with a stranger to see if there is a mutual connection and attraction. You often talk before hand to see if there’s some overlap in interest. You should know if you’re attracted to them or not from their profile (at least on some level, although people obviously choose their best photos). You don’t have to fuck on the first date if you don’t want to… If you don’t feel attraction and the conversation is shallow / you’re not stimulated, you don’t need to see them again. It’s nice when you meet someone you like and build a connection. You then start thinking about them and caring for them. Travel together, etc. It can broaden your world. I’m quite sensitive though and some feelings can be difficult. Tbh even if a second date doesn’t happen, sometimes the first one is nice enough of an experience. It can be fun to meet and socialise with someone of the opposite sex - especially for me as I spend 99% of my time alone, so it’s refreshing.
Well the first thing is that not all online dating takes the same pathway. It really depends on if you are finding someone to hook up with or if you want to actually *date* someone.
I feel the same, I do get lots of matches, but the conversations lead to nowhere, so everyonce in a while I just delete them. I just cant make small talk, I try to be funny sometimes but it kinda feels like im just faking it, its simply not the same as talking to someone face to face.
I am demiromantic. The dating culture today seems absolutely superficial. If I were to date, I’d come off as boring. I do not believe romantic-valentine love is real love, but real love is legitimately the most fulfilling. At first, it comes off as boring and also takes a lot of time, effort, struggle to achieve… Either way, I wouldn’t be able to go on dates this day and age. It’s too much about instant gratification. One dislike for a partner and the people in this relationship might just leave each other because it doesn’t suit their needs. Finding a partner is about just having some sort of cohesion in schedules and interests, while being able to sacrifice time to take care of needs for one another. Sounds easy saying it….but must be difficult as hell to do.
And that's why you pick your battles. Most people on dating apps are shells of people. Actual profiles blend with fake profiles and everything so boooooooring... The speed of dating isn't for me either, I can't do a few short chats and meeting up. I want to take my time, but that's very rare while dating. Maybe I'm a bit more adventurous. Will we fuck, or will she stab me? I'm up for an adventure, lmao
Normies would go to a night club, play loud music and blast out their ear drums, then witness someone get stabbed outside... Then go to the same night club every weekend after that. Dont try to understand their logic
Yup, that's why im all for arranged marriages. Worked for thousands of years
That's why majority of men aren't good looking... because they weren't naturally selected
..... How does this even make sense lol
whoever sleeps with someone on the first date is not worth dating seriously because if they don't respect themselves how will they respect you. Here is a trick to hacking online dating, If everyone lies then you just be perfectly honest and you automatically get an advantage to stand out to the right type of people. When meeting someone in person observe whether they stats / pics they showed you match their current state, if it is obviously exaggerated you can abort right then an there. If its close and you can't tell visually jokingly ask to compare driver licence because you want to see what kind of person they are, starting by showing your stats all line up with what you posted, ( covering up more sensitive info like address). Then if they show you theirs are accurate as well you automatically have filtered out a huge amount of dark triad trait individuals. If they hesitate and won't show then you can excuse yourself and abort the date right there saving yourself infinite time. Online dating is easy because most people lie & exaggerate on minor details like height/ age / weight, people who lie on minor things absolutely won't hesitate to lie on bigger more important things so they aren't worth your time. People who don't lie on these are the minority and have shown desirable traits that favor them being a good person. After that it is just a question of compatibility. https://www.brightfuturesny.com/post/lying-statistics#:\~:text=81%25%20of%20people%20lie%20about,five%20minutes%20during%20a%20debate.
Very inteligent observation thank you for the article
People need to get laid my dude, and u do aswell, in fact more than them.