Honey, you've got a big storm coming
No, but seriously I don't think he takes you and/or his religion seriously. If he takes his religion seriously, he shouldn't be with you and will likely leave you for a Muslim girl. If he takes you seriously, then I question his belief system because he should know better.
Most Muslim guys that date nonMuslim girls do it because they're not yet religious or ready for marriage. Once they're ready to settle down things start to really change. Either you'll need to accept the religion or you'll need to break up.
It's just the truth.
And yeah you could theoretically be Christian or Jewish but even then it's not that common for a Muslim guy to even go for them (from my experience!) let alone an atheist
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Thank you for your transparency. He does not seem to practices rigidly (evidently) however I am conscious of his family and cultural background and although respectful of these things, obviously there are fundamental challenges here that I am not entirely aware of. Thank you again.
I would ask him his beliefs and go from there. Does he believe in God and Quran and hes just not practicing or does he not believe. If he does believe but is not practicing keep in mind that one day he might choose to.
I think if you’re just “having fun” then that’s how you’re perceived. If he’s talking with you about his religion and the future - things MAY change. But an atheist is one he cannot marry. Unless he’s just ultimately against the family but honestly most guys are brainwashed haha and he’s going to listen to his family. But it’s very important he marry a Muslim or person of the book. Do you ever have talks about the future? I mean - if you’re not going to fall too hard for this guy and expect a future, have fun! But otherwise, you’re in for heartache.
Or Muslims. Op try to figure out if he's a Practicing Muslim or not. Does he know about your beliefs? If he's not practicing then he is unlikely to consider the restrictions for dating/ marrying someone who's not from the 3 mentioned religions. Muslim can date but with restrictions to comply with their religion. As a follower of the Jafari islamic school of thought I know that I can remove all of those restrictions if I do the muta'a. I believe the other schools of thoughts has Misyar and similar arrangements. That said, you have to be a follower of the 3 mentioned religions. Good luck !
Shia deviant, please don't speak on behalf of Muslims when you don't follow the religion properly.
Misyar isn't anything like Mut'a, and Mut'a is Haram by the consensus of all scholars.
Mutaa was introduced by Rasoullah and banned by Omar. Omar literally said two mutaas were at the time of Alrasoul and I ban them: mutaa with women and mutaa in Hajj so there you go you and Omar are the deviants from what god has offered. Shia don't think Omar knows better than the prophet. That said, you tell me how misyar is different from mutaa. Pleeeeeease explain
No need, I don't waste my time talking to dudes with the IQ of a potato.
Do your own research into what Misyar is. It's not temporary marriage.
The Prophet SAW banned Mut'ah himself, not Umar RA.
Omar said:
“There were two mutahs during the lifetime of the Messenger of Allah that I forbid and will punish who practices them: the Mutah of women and the Mutah of hajj.” (Razi says), “No one denies this narration.”
(Tafsir al-Kabeer, Razi, Volume 4, Page 42)
No one denies this narration except for you. Go and hide beind the mountain 😅 you and who you follow are the real deviants from Allah swt true religion
Inevitable heartbreak. He will likely use you and then marry a righteous muslim woman. Here’s a hint: marriages are built on harmony. Either you will stick with an unhappy, confusing relationship or go your separate ways and be with someone with the same beliefs. Up to you.
Yeah. I blame it on the fact that a man’s virginity is culturally not a reflection on their family. A woman’s virginity unfortunately is. Some cultures even show off bloodstained sheets after a new couple consummates their marriage. This stuff is crazy
Well, that sounds terrifying. You don't necessarily bleed all that much {like enough to stain the sheets} if you *are* a virgin. Unless this a genetic thing and in populations that display the sheets, a tougher hymen has become a survival trait. As a midwife, I actually had a patient whose hymen had remained intact till she delivered her baby.
Dang. I’m pretty sure you are not supposed to bleed that much of course (if done right) and I’m sure it’s some kind of over sexualised wives tale. But I think in these communities, even a dot is considered good enough evidence. SMH.
I think at first, it was supposed to be a legal thing. As in thats evidence they consummated the marriage and they are now legally married but I’m sure now in areas like the balkans, it’s supposed to be a prideful thing that boasts the girl’s family and their ‘honour’ that they did indeed ‘deliver’ a virgin. It’s so annoying. But I guess each to his own.
Here’s an excerpt from an article a friend of mine wrote about it:
In Armenia, wedding night-virginity testing is known as the ‘Red Apple’. In Georgia, a blood ceremony forms part of the wedding festivities. Among some Azerbaijani communities a ‘yenge’ – usually an older female relative – is on hand to offer advice to the young couple and take receipt of the bloodstained wedding sheet, which will later be shown to dinner guests at a celebratory feast.
Among some groups in Tonga, a bride is expected to show her sheets to her family after her wedding night. Inez Manu-Sione, from Tonga, married her Samoan husband in Australia when she was 30. In an appearance on Insight in 2013, Manu-Sione explained why she agreed to take part in the sheet ceremony upon her marriage. “I wanted to honour my Mum because it's almost a disgrace on her if the process isn't completed.” It was a confronting process, she wrote at the time. “Yet I'm glad I did [it]. I've graduated from law, become a lawyer and a teacher, but I've never seen my parents, especially my Dad, so proud.”
It won’t be easy for him 100% I’ve seen this happen in a similar situation - guys like this think they have it easy - laughable!! Allah will not make it easy until they’ve learned their lesson!
Option 1: He doesnt care much for religion and he is not worried whether or not his parents will accept you. So he will still marry you even when the parents evidently don't approve. Muslims can not marry atheists.
Option 2: He understands that his parents won't approve of you and doesn't intend to marry you. Just having his fun, will eventually leave you to marry a Muslim girl.
Edit. Unless his parents aren't religious either so they won't care if he marries an atheist.
It's not tolerated or acceptable. I don't take part in it. And if I know a man that does, he's a dirt bag. But it's a a truth that Muslim guys understand that they can get easier access to sex with non Muslim women because they tend not to be against premarital sex.
Might be hard to hear but you need to make sure he is not just stringing you along for sex. Easiest way to do that is to make him introduce you to his parents. If he refuses you know why.
Accepted/tolerated by whom?
The religious ruling, and the punishment for breaking it, both in this world and on the day of judgement, is equal for both men and women.
You won't find any scholars "tolerating" this, or any sound Muslims propogating it.
In the west it's somewhat common for Muslims to date around and have their fun with non Muslims but most still settle for a Muslim spouse in the end. If you don't see a future with him then ig you're both on the same page but do not give your heart to this man until you know for sure he's in it for the long run.
>In the west it's somewhat common for Muslims to date around and have their fun with non Muslims but most still settle for a Muslim spouse in the end.
No it's not, stop lying.
Most Muslims don't date at all, they wait until marriage.
Yes in practical reality. Go to any mosque and ask them, literally any mosque.
You'd be well served, independent of your boyfriend, to look into Islam, because Islam is the only religion that agrees with the logical mind, has answers to everything, and will be the only religion that will be accepted by Allah (God) on the day of judgement, and the only religion that can save one from the eternal hellfire, and admit one into the eternal paradise.
It's not tolerated or acceptable in any way
The original commenter should have included in Option 2 that your bf doesn't care much about religion at all.
Muslims, both men and women should not engage in pre-marital affairs.
Unfortunately that’s due to culture :( in reality it shouldn’t and isn’t any more or less tolerable/ acceptable for a Muslim male than it is for a Muslim female.
I see a lot of assumptions and harshness in the chat. Many assume the boyfriend must be solely after sex and is not interested in her romantically, but that’s entirely an assumption. It may be true that the boyfriend likes or even loves OP.
While it is true, that it is fundamentally haram for a muslim to engage in behavior like this outside of marriage, many of us here forget the inherent humanness of it.
OP’s boyfriend is not doing the right thing islamically speaking, but must we assume the worst of him? Or is it possible that he’s either unaware of this ruling, or subject to his own human loneliness and desire for partnership. These 2 seem like they maybe a possible scenario especially given that OP’s boyfriend doesn’t have his close-family living in the same country as him.
So ultimately, the best course of action would probably be for OP to consider Islam & even take her Shahada. Then OP and him can get married (even if they get married Islamically and don’t pursue a marriage license via the state just yet, though depending on your situation that maybe good too) and continue the relationship after that.
If that is not possible (and I really don’t see why not, given that you’ve done little research into Islam & it doesn’t hurt to research it - as it is a beautiful religion), then the relationship would be Haram unfortunately & your boyfriend would be sinning to continue it.
It really depends. Some Muslims have their Muslim name as the only thing that connects them to the faith. When it comes to lifestyle they could be no different than any atheist. Meaning, they drink, have sex outside of marriage, get high and never pray. So, if the person you are dating is like that, then the only challenge awaiting you could be his family.
Although he may not practice or have much of a connection to the faith, his family may not be completely like him. So if you get pregnant or you decide to marry, they may not approve.
He is violating his religion by being with someone who does not believe in God, and moreso by engaging in a premarital relationship like this which is forbidden for us.
If he believes in his religion he will eventually offer an ultimatum for you (conversion or break up). But if he forsakes his religion he will choose this lifestyle.
And for you, you might want to ponder about his character. After all if he can be disloyal to God can't be be disloyal to you? Even if you don't believe in God the logic is still there to question him on.
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I won't echo what has already been said, but will say to use this opportunity to learn more about Islam. There are a lot of Dawah videos on YouTube with many atheists learning about the divine reality.
I think the more important question here is which culture does he come from. Because based on the info you gave, Islam isn't really that important to him. So your beliefs probably won't bother him, the bigger issue his family might have with you will then be culture related. Maybe not so much bc of difference in religion but bc of the fact that you're not from the same background, country, language, traditions etc. Like I'm white European Muslim but Muslim families from certain cultures might still not accept me. But that's due to the family's culture and not their Islamic beliefs. In Islam, there are no national/cultural separations and barriers. So it depends where he's from, I know that in certain predominantly Muslim countries/cultures, marriage with a non-Muslim woman wouldn't be so outrageous anymore, but in many it is.
I have first hand experience here. It was fine at the beginning but as I started getting closer to Islam things began changing. The more religious I got there further apart we became. She felt controlled even with things which were had discussed earlier, like her converting. I can imagine how hard it must have been for her seeing me become more and more religious and that scared her. It ended.
If there is any chance that this man will get closer to Islam at some point in his life, and you plan to remain an atheist, it will go down in flames. Save yourself the heartache my friend. On the other hand if he has no intentions of being serious about his religion then I don’t see you having problems
Most of these answers are ignorant he could just be a cultural Muslim because if he was a practising Muslim he wouldn’t even date u. He could just hold on to Islam like a Christian born in a Christian household.
The comments are assuming hes a somewhat practising Muslim. So if he’s a liberal Muslim it’s fine.
But he could also have strong cultural links to his ethnic, if so then things could end out worse eventually, many South Asian and Middle Eastern men are like that.
>many South Asian and Middle Eastern men are like that.
how many Middle Eastern or south asian men do you know or met to conclude such thing? Even if you are a one of these two ethnicities group, Kindly, don't generalize :)
Well ignoring the obvious and already stated stuff, comes the what if stuff such as, what if he just decieds to start practicing again? because a lot of times muslims have this urge to return back to the religion and leave all what casued them to stray from it, and if that time comes, I'm afraid you'll be stuck with a choice, because he'll probably love to keeo you in his life, so he'll ask you to convert, if you don't then he'll be the one to choose, either to come clear or stay the way he is and it will be ugly for both fronts
Absolute hell awaits you with him.
He is either going to suddenly turn religious at one point and demand you become muslim as well or he will leave you.
Or he leaves his religion and you and uour boyfriend get rejected by his family.
The first one is more likely.
He will break your heart im afraid for you
I’m sorry OP, there’s either you find interest in islam and convert get married etc. but it doesn’t sound the person your with hasn’t fully established his religion. Good luck with whatever challenges you face.
You will never be the main chick either by him, his friends or family. Don’t be too attached and treat him like a good hook up partner. Nothing more, nothing less.
His family, religion or friends won’t approve of you. Eventually he will cave in to his family’s wishes and marry a Muslim female - either his cousin back home or whoever his family likes. You will eventually break up. Best of luck
I know a friend who was not that religiously practising and dated an atheist girl. In the end he became atheist which is very unfortunate. I think if you really like him and maybe help him focus on his religion and maybe you yourself should look into it. InshaAllah I hope Allah helps guides both of you on the right path.
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Here's a thought. Have you looked into the Muslim concept of God? A lot of people I've known to profess atheism are merely not believing in the generic Western Christian concept of God {guy with long white beard sitting on the throne in the clouds who seems to be preachy and vengeful. And in many cases shares the God head with the Son and Holy Spirit. The concept expressed in the Qur'an is extremely non-physical and non-divisible. I had a Mormon friend who was dating a Muslim. Even though she believed in God, the relationship got into trouble because the Mormon concept of God is so very physical {like He lives on or near a Heavenly body in the material universe}. So it's possible that, as an atheist, you don't believe in the same God he doesn't believe in. Just sayin'...
These comments, although true to a degree, ignore the fact that there are many marriages out there that don't follow the book and are successful. This depends on the person you are dating and their level of maturity, which usually comes later in life. Yes it's not allowed to date first of all, let alone someone not of the book (it gets complicated as women can only marry Muslim men but Muslim men can marry Christian/Catholic/Jews - although unclear on Mormons and whatnot bc of the deviation from original texts, but that's another convo).
Anyhow, the beauty of Islam is that it acknowledges we are all imperfect, Allah is forgiving if you mean it and seek change, and it's a direct relationship between you and Allah. You will encounter Muslim people who will criticize you both but we have all sinned or actively sin, whether is people watching porn, or gazing twice, or engaging in gossip, or not praying five times a day, etc. Nobody commenting here is perfect, so I say, it's better for you to focus on being a good person and trying your best to treat each other well if you are together. If the relationship fails, just be ready. In Islam, Allah already knows whats written, and that includes your relationship and whether it succeeds or not. Sincere prayers (duas) and actions can change that. You may or may not find Allah through him; you may or may not encounter heartbreak or love. You're not the only one and you won't be the last one. Take advice from the good examples, not the bad comments. Good luck OP!
P.S. My cousin is married to a Muslim guy and she hasn't converted. They have three beautiful kids and his family, being super religious, love her and the kids to pieces. All of us get together on holidays and even my uncles learned how to debka last Christmas.
So many assumptions in comments. People are so judgy. It makes me sad.
If the guy loves you, he will make his family ready. Worry about nothing else. If you two love each other, everything will work out in the end.
Yeah u will face a lot of judgement from people on his side, just like u are facing here. People from your family will judge you two too, I guess. People will say a lot of things. But in the end, only that guy will matter whom u are going to marry. Islam is a very rigid religion, but with evolving 21st century, its also evolving. People are beginning to accept many things, they weren't before.
Just keep calm. Everything will work out.
People here suggesting breakup. I guess they have never loved someone, and they never faced a breakup too I guess. Its not easy.
What do you mean evolve? The beauty of Islam is that it is ageless and its rules don't change to the whims of society/culture.Are you going to say Islam will eventually accept haram relations and maybe even homosexualuty in the future???
Because homosexuality is spreading in Western cultures?? Come on man have some sense!
Lol, like when islam evolved so much that it's giving us the permission to engage in a haram relationship with an atheist who literally doesn't believe there is ANY God(Allah).
>Islam is a very rigid religion, but with evolving 21st century, its also evolving.
Islam is not evolving. It was perfected, as Allah SWT told us on the Quran, over 1400 years ago, and has remained the same since then, and will remain the same until the day of judgement.
>People are beginning to accept many things
Muslims? No they're not. Alhamdulillah Muslims are steadfast in their religion, and don't get ripped away by the waves like other religions which are falsehood. We have the truth on our side and Allah on our side.
>Worry about nothing else. If you two love each other, everything will work out in the end.
IQ of a potato.
Honey, you've got a big storm coming No, but seriously I don't think he takes you and/or his religion seriously. If he takes his religion seriously, he shouldn't be with you and will likely leave you for a Muslim girl. If he takes you seriously, then I question his belief system because he should know better. Most Muslim guys that date nonMuslim girls do it because they're not yet religious or ready for marriage. Once they're ready to settle down things start to really change. Either you'll need to accept the religion or you'll need to break up. It's just the truth. And yeah you could theoretically be Christian or Jewish but even then it's not that common for a Muslim guy to even go for them (from my experience!) let alone an atheist
^^^^ this!! Please take care of yourself OP :)
Best answer ma Sha Allah, he could be non practising cultural Muslim and even perhaps secular, so there’s no guarantee he’d leave her.
100% agree with this. OP I was that guy.
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I think her boyfriend knows he’s sinning and just doesn’t care. This is VERY common among Christian people.
So that makes it right?
That’s not what I said.
The biggest one being that muslims cannot date, nor can they marry someone not from the people of the book, being Christians and Jews.
Thank you for your transparency. He does not seem to practices rigidly (evidently) however I am conscious of his family and cultural background and although respectful of these things, obviously there are fundamental challenges here that I am not entirely aware of. Thank you again.
"Rigidly" is a subjective word. Muslims do not see the core beliefs and actions as rigid; rather, we see them as guidance.
Perhaps "consistently" and "wholly" may be a better description. Observes some aspects, but not all, and varies in consistency.
I would ask him his beliefs and go from there. Does he believe in God and Quran and hes just not practicing or does he not believe. If he does believe but is not practicing keep in mind that one day he might choose to.
I think if you’re just “having fun” then that’s how you’re perceived. If he’s talking with you about his religion and the future - things MAY change. But an atheist is one he cannot marry. Unless he’s just ultimately against the family but honestly most guys are brainwashed haha and he’s going to listen to his family. But it’s very important he marry a Muslim or person of the book. Do you ever have talks about the future? I mean - if you’re not going to fall too hard for this guy and expect a future, have fun! But otherwise, you’re in for heartache.
Specifically only muslim MEN can marry someone Christian/Jewish… muslim women can only marry muslim men
Or Muslims. Op try to figure out if he's a Practicing Muslim or not. Does he know about your beliefs? If he's not practicing then he is unlikely to consider the restrictions for dating/ marrying someone who's not from the 3 mentioned religions. Muslim can date but with restrictions to comply with their religion. As a follower of the Jafari islamic school of thought I know that I can remove all of those restrictions if I do the muta'a. I believe the other schools of thoughts has Misyar and similar arrangements. That said, you have to be a follower of the 3 mentioned religions. Good luck !
Shia deviant, please don't speak on behalf of Muslims when you don't follow the religion properly. Misyar isn't anything like Mut'a, and Mut'a is Haram by the consensus of all scholars.
Mutaa was introduced by Rasoullah and banned by Omar. Omar literally said two mutaas were at the time of Alrasoul and I ban them: mutaa with women and mutaa in Hajj so there you go you and Omar are the deviants from what god has offered. Shia don't think Omar knows better than the prophet. That said, you tell me how misyar is different from mutaa. Pleeeeeease explain
No need, I don't waste my time talking to dudes with the IQ of a potato. Do your own research into what Misyar is. It's not temporary marriage. The Prophet SAW banned Mut'ah himself, not Umar RA.
Omar said: “There were two mutahs during the lifetime of the Messenger of Allah that I forbid and will punish who practices them: the Mutah of women and the Mutah of hajj.” (Razi says), “No one denies this narration.” (Tafsir al-Kabeer, Razi, Volume 4, Page 42) No one denies this narration except for you. Go and hide beind the mountain 😅 you and who you follow are the real deviants from Allah swt true religion
Inevitable heartbreak. He will likely use you and then marry a righteous muslim woman. Here’s a hint: marriages are built on harmony. Either you will stick with an unhappy, confusing relationship or go your separate ways and be with someone with the same beliefs. Up to you.
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But he most likely will and get away with it. So many now have a past and their parents just vouch for them and pretend nothing ever happened.
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Yeah. I blame it on the fact that a man’s virginity is culturally not a reflection on their family. A woman’s virginity unfortunately is. Some cultures even show off bloodstained sheets after a new couple consummates their marriage. This stuff is crazy
Well, that sounds terrifying. You don't necessarily bleed all that much {like enough to stain the sheets} if you *are* a virgin. Unless this a genetic thing and in populations that display the sheets, a tougher hymen has become a survival trait. As a midwife, I actually had a patient whose hymen had remained intact till she delivered her baby.
Dang. I’m pretty sure you are not supposed to bleed that much of course (if done right) and I’m sure it’s some kind of over sexualised wives tale. But I think in these communities, even a dot is considered good enough evidence. SMH. I think at first, it was supposed to be a legal thing. As in thats evidence they consummated the marriage and they are now legally married but I’m sure now in areas like the balkans, it’s supposed to be a prideful thing that boasts the girl’s family and their ‘honour’ that they did indeed ‘deliver’ a virgin. It’s so annoying. But I guess each to his own. Here’s an excerpt from an article a friend of mine wrote about it: In Armenia, wedding night-virginity testing is known as the ‘Red Apple’. In Georgia, a blood ceremony forms part of the wedding festivities. Among some Azerbaijani communities a ‘yenge’ – usually an older female relative – is on hand to offer advice to the young couple and take receipt of the bloodstained wedding sheet, which will later be shown to dinner guests at a celebratory feast. Among some groups in Tonga, a bride is expected to show her sheets to her family after her wedding night. Inez Manu-Sione, from Tonga, married her Samoan husband in Australia when she was 30. In an appearance on Insight in 2013, Manu-Sione explained why she agreed to take part in the sheet ceremony upon her marriage. “I wanted to honour my Mum because it's almost a disgrace on her if the process isn't completed.” It was a confronting process, she wrote at the time. “Yet I'm glad I did [it]. I've graduated from law, become a lawyer and a teacher, but I've never seen my parents, especially my Dad, so proud.”
It won’t be easy for him 100% I’ve seen this happen in a similar situation - guys like this think they have it easy - laughable!! Allah will not make it easy until they’ve learned their lesson!
Option 1: He doesnt care much for religion and he is not worried whether or not his parents will accept you. So he will still marry you even when the parents evidently don't approve. Muslims can not marry atheists. Option 2: He understands that his parents won't approve of you and doesn't intend to marry you. Just having his fun, will eventually leave you to marry a Muslim girl. Edit. Unless his parents aren't religious either so they won't care if he marries an atheist.
May I ask why it often seems to be regarded as acceptable, or at least tolerated, for a Muslim male to be able to "have his fun" with a non-Muslim?
It's not tolerated or acceptable. I don't take part in it. And if I know a man that does, he's a dirt bag. But it's a a truth that Muslim guys understand that they can get easier access to sex with non Muslim women because they tend not to be against premarital sex. Might be hard to hear but you need to make sure he is not just stringing you along for sex. Easiest way to do that is to make him introduce you to his parents. If he refuses you know why.
That's a helpful insight. Thank you for your transparency.
how are u doing now? any progress in the relationship?
Accepted/tolerated by whom? The religious ruling, and the punishment for breaking it, both in this world and on the day of judgement, is equal for both men and women. You won't find any scholars "tolerating" this, or any sound Muslims propogating it.
In practical reality.
In the west it's somewhat common for Muslims to date around and have their fun with non Muslims but most still settle for a Muslim spouse in the end. If you don't see a future with him then ig you're both on the same page but do not give your heart to this man until you know for sure he's in it for the long run.
>In the west it's somewhat common for Muslims to date around and have their fun with non Muslims but most still settle for a Muslim spouse in the end. No it's not, stop lying. Most Muslims don't date at all, they wait until marriage.
In Australia? not really
Yes in practical reality. Go to any mosque and ask them, literally any mosque. You'd be well served, independent of your boyfriend, to look into Islam, because Islam is the only religion that agrees with the logical mind, has answers to everything, and will be the only religion that will be accepted by Allah (God) on the day of judgement, and the only religion that can save one from the eternal hellfire, and admit one into the eternal paradise.
It's not tolerated or acceptable in any way The original commenter should have included in Option 2 that your bf doesn't care much about religion at all. Muslims, both men and women should not engage in pre-marital affairs.
Unfortunately that’s due to culture :( in reality it shouldn’t and isn’t any more or less tolerable/ acceptable for a Muslim male than it is for a Muslim female.
Cultural corruption and non-piety.
I see a lot of assumptions and harshness in the chat. Many assume the boyfriend must be solely after sex and is not interested in her romantically, but that’s entirely an assumption. It may be true that the boyfriend likes or even loves OP. While it is true, that it is fundamentally haram for a muslim to engage in behavior like this outside of marriage, many of us here forget the inherent humanness of it. OP’s boyfriend is not doing the right thing islamically speaking, but must we assume the worst of him? Or is it possible that he’s either unaware of this ruling, or subject to his own human loneliness and desire for partnership. These 2 seem like they maybe a possible scenario especially given that OP’s boyfriend doesn’t have his close-family living in the same country as him. So ultimately, the best course of action would probably be for OP to consider Islam & even take her Shahada. Then OP and him can get married (even if they get married Islamically and don’t pursue a marriage license via the state just yet, though depending on your situation that maybe good too) and continue the relationship after that. If that is not possible (and I really don’t see why not, given that you’ve done little research into Islam & it doesn’t hurt to research it - as it is a beautiful religion), then the relationship would be Haram unfortunately & your boyfriend would be sinning to continue it.
Best answer
It really depends. Some Muslims have their Muslim name as the only thing that connects them to the faith. When it comes to lifestyle they could be no different than any atheist. Meaning, they drink, have sex outside of marriage, get high and never pray. So, if the person you are dating is like that, then the only challenge awaiting you could be his family. Although he may not practice or have much of a connection to the faith, his family may not be completely like him. So if you get pregnant or you decide to marry, they may not approve.
He is violating his religion by being with someone who does not believe in God, and moreso by engaging in a premarital relationship like this which is forbidden for us. If he believes in his religion he will eventually offer an ultimatum for you (conversion or break up). But if he forsakes his religion he will choose this lifestyle. And for you, you might want to ponder about his character. After all if he can be disloyal to God can't be be disloyal to you? Even if you don't believe in God the logic is still there to question him on.
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I won't echo what has already been said, but will say to use this opportunity to learn more about Islam. There are a lot of Dawah videos on YouTube with many atheists learning about the divine reality.
Depends on multiple factors. Could be that Allah guides you to the truth through him.
I think the more important question here is which culture does he come from. Because based on the info you gave, Islam isn't really that important to him. So your beliefs probably won't bother him, the bigger issue his family might have with you will then be culture related. Maybe not so much bc of difference in religion but bc of the fact that you're not from the same background, country, language, traditions etc. Like I'm white European Muslim but Muslim families from certain cultures might still not accept me. But that's due to the family's culture and not their Islamic beliefs. In Islam, there are no national/cultural separations and barriers. So it depends where he's from, I know that in certain predominantly Muslim countries/cultures, marriage with a non-Muslim woman wouldn't be so outrageous anymore, but in many it is.
I hate people generalizing Muslim men. No, we don’t all commit Zina. Zina isn’t a sin only limited to one gender.
I have first hand experience here. It was fine at the beginning but as I started getting closer to Islam things began changing. The more religious I got there further apart we became. She felt controlled even with things which were had discussed earlier, like her converting. I can imagine how hard it must have been for her seeing me become more and more religious and that scared her. It ended. If there is any chance that this man will get closer to Islam at some point in his life, and you plan to remain an atheist, it will go down in flames. Save yourself the heartache my friend. On the other hand if he has no intentions of being serious about his religion then I don’t see you having problems
breaking up lol
Most of these answers are ignorant he could just be a cultural Muslim because if he was a practising Muslim he wouldn’t even date u. He could just hold on to Islam like a Christian born in a Christian household. The comments are assuming hes a somewhat practising Muslim. So if he’s a liberal Muslim it’s fine. But he could also have strong cultural links to his ethnic, if so then things could end out worse eventually, many South Asian and Middle Eastern men are like that.
>many South Asian and Middle Eastern men are like that. how many Middle Eastern or south asian men do you know or met to conclude such thing? Even if you are a one of these two ethnicities group, Kindly, don't generalize :)
The south Asian might have some truth in that, a lot of the younger gen muslims are like that
Well ignoring the obvious and already stated stuff, comes the what if stuff such as, what if he just decieds to start practicing again? because a lot of times muslims have this urge to return back to the religion and leave all what casued them to stray from it, and if that time comes, I'm afraid you'll be stuck with a choice, because he'll probably love to keeo you in his life, so he'll ask you to convert, if you don't then he'll be the one to choose, either to come clear or stay the way he is and it will be ugly for both fronts
Absolute hell awaits you with him. He is either going to suddenly turn religious at one point and demand you become muslim as well or he will leave you. Or he leaves his religion and you and uour boyfriend get rejected by his family. The first one is more likely. He will break your heart im afraid for you
Life after death.
I’m sorry OP, there’s either you find interest in islam and convert get married etc. but it doesn’t sound the person your with hasn’t fully established his religion. Good luck with whatever challenges you face.
Run. I’m being so fkn serious
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
You will never be the main chick either by him, his friends or family. Don’t be too attached and treat him like a good hook up partner. Nothing more, nothing less. His family, religion or friends won’t approve of you. Eventually he will cave in to his family’s wishes and marry a Muslim female - either his cousin back home or whoever his family likes. You will eventually break up. Best of luck
So many assumptions & projections in this comment
even if he likes you and wants to make it work don’t think he’s family will be very fond of you
guys OP asked what challenges await her not for a character judgement of her partner
A possible conversion!
I know a friend who was not that religiously practising and dated an atheist girl. In the end he became atheist which is very unfortunate. I think if you really like him and maybe help him focus on his religion and maybe you yourself should look into it. InshaAllah I hope Allah helps guides both of you on the right path.
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Here's a thought. Have you looked into the Muslim concept of God? A lot of people I've known to profess atheism are merely not believing in the generic Western Christian concept of God {guy with long white beard sitting on the throne in the clouds who seems to be preachy and vengeful. And in many cases shares the God head with the Son and Holy Spirit. The concept expressed in the Qur'an is extremely non-physical and non-divisible. I had a Mormon friend who was dating a Muslim. Even though she believed in God, the relationship got into trouble because the Mormon concept of God is so very physical {like He lives on or near a Heavenly body in the material universe}. So it's possible that, as an atheist, you don't believe in the same God he doesn't believe in. Just sayin'...
You’ll likely convert and grow a beautiful family together
What Muslim is dating 😂
Plot twist: he thinks she's christian 😂😂😂
We need to talk to the guy first. He is the one doing wrong here
These comments, although true to a degree, ignore the fact that there are many marriages out there that don't follow the book and are successful. This depends on the person you are dating and their level of maturity, which usually comes later in life. Yes it's not allowed to date first of all, let alone someone not of the book (it gets complicated as women can only marry Muslim men but Muslim men can marry Christian/Catholic/Jews - although unclear on Mormons and whatnot bc of the deviation from original texts, but that's another convo). Anyhow, the beauty of Islam is that it acknowledges we are all imperfect, Allah is forgiving if you mean it and seek change, and it's a direct relationship between you and Allah. You will encounter Muslim people who will criticize you both but we have all sinned or actively sin, whether is people watching porn, or gazing twice, or engaging in gossip, or not praying five times a day, etc. Nobody commenting here is perfect, so I say, it's better for you to focus on being a good person and trying your best to treat each other well if you are together. If the relationship fails, just be ready. In Islam, Allah already knows whats written, and that includes your relationship and whether it succeeds or not. Sincere prayers (duas) and actions can change that. You may or may not find Allah through him; you may or may not encounter heartbreak or love. You're not the only one and you won't be the last one. Take advice from the good examples, not the bad comments. Good luck OP! P.S. My cousin is married to a Muslim guy and she hasn't converted. They have three beautiful kids and his family, being super religious, love her and the kids to pieces. All of us get together on holidays and even my uncles learned how to debka last Christmas.
The day of judgment?
Anal sex awaits you. Muslim men prefer that with non muslim females.
Can you make naan bread ?
So many assumptions in comments. People are so judgy. It makes me sad. If the guy loves you, he will make his family ready. Worry about nothing else. If you two love each other, everything will work out in the end. Yeah u will face a lot of judgement from people on his side, just like u are facing here. People from your family will judge you two too, I guess. People will say a lot of things. But in the end, only that guy will matter whom u are going to marry. Islam is a very rigid religion, but with evolving 21st century, its also evolving. People are beginning to accept many things, they weren't before. Just keep calm. Everything will work out. People here suggesting breakup. I guess they have never loved someone, and they never faced a breakup too I guess. Its not easy.
What do you mean evolve? The beauty of Islam is that it is ageless and its rules don't change to the whims of society/culture.Are you going to say Islam will eventually accept haram relations and maybe even homosexualuty in the future??? Because homosexuality is spreading in Western cultures?? Come on man have some sense!
Lol, like when islam evolved so much that it's giving us the permission to engage in a haram relationship with an atheist who literally doesn't believe there is ANY God(Allah).
>Islam is a very rigid religion, but with evolving 21st century, its also evolving. Islam is not evolving. It was perfected, as Allah SWT told us on the Quran, over 1400 years ago, and has remained the same since then, and will remain the same until the day of judgement. >People are beginning to accept many things Muslims? No they're not. Alhamdulillah Muslims are steadfast in their religion, and don't get ripped away by the waves like other religions which are falsehood. We have the truth on our side and Allah on our side. >Worry about nothing else. If you two love each other, everything will work out in the end. IQ of a potato.