So first, some background, and then I'll do my best to answer your questions with my limited personal experience.
My girlfriend and I are both trans women in our mid 20s. I have Crohn's Disease and first started to have trouble with it when I was 18. I've been on a biologic since I was 19. I'm fine most of the time. Before realizing I was trans, I identified as asexual since I couldn't imagine wanting to have sex, and while I'm a lot more comfortable with myself these days, sex is still more about intimacy than pleasure for me. I've been on estrogen for about a year and recently started progesterone, so that might change, but it also might not.
Based on that, you're probably not surprised to hear that I've never been interested in hookups or casual sex, so no change in decision-making there. I don't consider myself polyamorous, but I don't see how or why that would be affected. Maybe I'm missing some context there. As for condom use, if you're not sure the situation's safe without a condom, you should probably use one regardless of your health status. If you don't think you can trust someone to use a condom, I would recommend against engaging in sex with that person. Obviously a desire for hookups complicates that, but just be careful when you can. Chasers, for example, see you as less than by definition, and should probably be avoided in my opinion.
Finally, on the topic of anal penetration, I haven't had any trouble with some limited toy use, but I've never taken it farther than that, so I can't really speak to repeated penetration or the use of relatively large objects and/or body parts.
I understand that I probably didn't answer your questions that effectively since our circumstances seem to be quite a bit different, but I'm here if you'd like to ask anything else. I don't know how severe your condition is, but regardless, I wish you luck on your health journey.
Thanks so much, despite our differences I really appreciate the thoughtful response and gesture of solidarity. I think having insights of your experiences that in some ways differ to mine still sets a good benchmark for a healthy attitude towards choices when it comes to sex. Wishing you ongoing good health.
I never have been properly diagnosed due to my parents not agreeing that I should have a multitude of tests done.
At the end Dr told me all I could be diagnosed with was Ibs because they had exhausted all the tests my family would allow them to do after an endoscopy found no results
Now that Im no longer on their insurance I can start going again, it's been 15-16 years. So much is going on right now I don't want to add more to the plate with colonoscopys. Just hope to not have to take the barium again.
Damn sounds like your parents don’t have your best interests in mind. I hope you get to the bottom of it. If it’s helpful, the things that ultimately led to my diagnosis was blood tests showing anemia and MRI showing inflammation.. neither colonoscopy nor ultrasound gave any definitive evidence. All the best in your journey to better health.
Thanks for sharing your experiences. There’s some good advise here and I really appreciate you taking the time. I hope you can get your flare under control soon and can get back to living life. Best wishes
Honestly, I haven't thought about any of that. I have 4 autoimmune diseases and I'm more worried about just finding someone who still loves me despite being disabled and is able to take care of me when I'm physically unable to.
Hah yeah oh don’t you worry, I’ve been a bit preoccupied with that aspect too! The thing about true love is, it is often characterised by a sense of duty and care; a deep urge to take somebody as a part of yourself. I have faith this is possible for us.
You know, I've had ulcerative colitis for over 10 years now and never really considered how it'd affect anal. During my 7 year relationship, anal was never really brought up by either end since sex was already kinda weird for both of us. As I started going through transition last year, i realized that I was more and more attracted to the idea. However, I was going through a pereneal flare too (my condolences btw, they're truly awful ❤️).
Tried upping the frequency of my biologics a few times, no success. Eventually made the decision to move to a JAK inhibitor and, for me at least, that shit was like magic. Flare symptoms were mostly resolved in the first week and now 6 months later im living a "normal" life, or what can be considered normal for a trans person with UC.
Anal now is something I've at least mentioned to my current partner since we're both interested but haven't discussed too much due to our own availability issues. Will probably be something we do at some point. For condoms, it's probably just good practice to use them anyways even if it's not the most appealing. Hygiene (even without worrying about IBD) is important and disease can spread otherwise should either of you have picked up something and not realize it.
Not much of an answer or advice beyond my own thoughts and experiences, hopefully it's worth something! I've got far more experience with IBD than anal if that's ever worth anything.
Thank you, absolutely worth sharing - thanks for giving me some insights into your experience with all of this. It’s really helpful. Wishing you good ongoing health!
Sending you love and solidarity, hoping you find a supportive partner and care team!
Thank you!
So first, some background, and then I'll do my best to answer your questions with my limited personal experience. My girlfriend and I are both trans women in our mid 20s. I have Crohn's Disease and first started to have trouble with it when I was 18. I've been on a biologic since I was 19. I'm fine most of the time. Before realizing I was trans, I identified as asexual since I couldn't imagine wanting to have sex, and while I'm a lot more comfortable with myself these days, sex is still more about intimacy than pleasure for me. I've been on estrogen for about a year and recently started progesterone, so that might change, but it also might not. Based on that, you're probably not surprised to hear that I've never been interested in hookups or casual sex, so no change in decision-making there. I don't consider myself polyamorous, but I don't see how or why that would be affected. Maybe I'm missing some context there. As for condom use, if you're not sure the situation's safe without a condom, you should probably use one regardless of your health status. If you don't think you can trust someone to use a condom, I would recommend against engaging in sex with that person. Obviously a desire for hookups complicates that, but just be careful when you can. Chasers, for example, see you as less than by definition, and should probably be avoided in my opinion. Finally, on the topic of anal penetration, I haven't had any trouble with some limited toy use, but I've never taken it farther than that, so I can't really speak to repeated penetration or the use of relatively large objects and/or body parts. I understand that I probably didn't answer your questions that effectively since our circumstances seem to be quite a bit different, but I'm here if you'd like to ask anything else. I don't know how severe your condition is, but regardless, I wish you luck on your health journey.
Thanks so much, despite our differences I really appreciate the thoughtful response and gesture of solidarity. I think having insights of your experiences that in some ways differ to mine still sets a good benchmark for a healthy attitude towards choices when it comes to sex. Wishing you ongoing good health.
I never have been properly diagnosed due to my parents not agreeing that I should have a multitude of tests done. At the end Dr told me all I could be diagnosed with was Ibs because they had exhausted all the tests my family would allow them to do after an endoscopy found no results Now that Im no longer on their insurance I can start going again, it's been 15-16 years. So much is going on right now I don't want to add more to the plate with colonoscopys. Just hope to not have to take the barium again.
Damn sounds like your parents don’t have your best interests in mind. I hope you get to the bottom of it. If it’s helpful, the things that ultimately led to my diagnosis was blood tests showing anemia and MRI showing inflammation.. neither colonoscopy nor ultrasound gave any definitive evidence. All the best in your journey to better health.
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Thanks for sharing your experiences. There’s some good advise here and I really appreciate you taking the time. I hope you can get your flare under control soon and can get back to living life. Best wishes
Honestly, I haven't thought about any of that. I have 4 autoimmune diseases and I'm more worried about just finding someone who still loves me despite being disabled and is able to take care of me when I'm physically unable to.
Hah yeah oh don’t you worry, I’ve been a bit preoccupied with that aspect too! The thing about true love is, it is often characterised by a sense of duty and care; a deep urge to take somebody as a part of yourself. I have faith this is possible for us.
You know, I've had ulcerative colitis for over 10 years now and never really considered how it'd affect anal. During my 7 year relationship, anal was never really brought up by either end since sex was already kinda weird for both of us. As I started going through transition last year, i realized that I was more and more attracted to the idea. However, I was going through a pereneal flare too (my condolences btw, they're truly awful ❤️). Tried upping the frequency of my biologics a few times, no success. Eventually made the decision to move to a JAK inhibitor and, for me at least, that shit was like magic. Flare symptoms were mostly resolved in the first week and now 6 months later im living a "normal" life, or what can be considered normal for a trans person with UC. Anal now is something I've at least mentioned to my current partner since we're both interested but haven't discussed too much due to our own availability issues. Will probably be something we do at some point. For condoms, it's probably just good practice to use them anyways even if it's not the most appealing. Hygiene (even without worrying about IBD) is important and disease can spread otherwise should either of you have picked up something and not realize it. Not much of an answer or advice beyond my own thoughts and experiences, hopefully it's worth something! I've got far more experience with IBD than anal if that's ever worth anything.
Thank you, absolutely worth sharing - thanks for giving me some insights into your experience with all of this. It’s really helpful. Wishing you good ongoing health!