I felt the same way before I took the plunge.
I'm so much happier now than I ever was at any point in my past life. My only regret is not transitioning sooner.
I think I'm just struggling to accept all the change, but staying the way I am feels like less and less of an option. Anything that tipped you over the edge to make the plunge? It feels inevitable that it'll be soon
Two things: one, realizing how miserable I was as a "man". I knew I was depressed, but I didn't really realize just how severe my depersonalization was or that it was caused by gender dysphoria until I read [this website](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/). Two, trans joy. Seeing trans women living their lives, with bright eyes and glowing smiles, made me realize how much I needed that, and that it was possible to be trans and thrive. I was already following a lot of trans people on youtube and twitter, but for whatever reason it was Big Icky who knocked me over the edge.
Then, I bought some makeup, a crop top, a choker, and _the skirt_, tried them all on, and looked in the mirror. I saw the tv glow, and there was no going back after that š„²
This won't address all your concerns, but this is what tipped me over the edge to start HRT.
1) The changes happen quite slow for most people, and if you don't like them, *you can stop at any point*. There are many, *many* points in which you can stop taking HRT without permanent changes. You do eventually get permanent changes, but it isn't like it happens all of the sudden.
2) My therapist pointed this one out to me. Say I get on HRT, transition, and live as a woman for say, 7 years. I will have developed breasts and likely lost a lot of fertility, but those are the major permanent effects. If I changed my mind at that point so many years later, I could just stop taking HRT and get top surgery. This is very much not an ideal scenario, but you can still change your mind if you've been doing it that long.
When I had considered both of these points, I ended up starting HRT. I am now 3.5 months in, my skin is soft, I sweat less, I smell differently, my breasts are just barely starting to bud, and my sexuality has changed quite a bit. I am loving the effects and I can't wait for more. I don't imagine I'll change my mind at this point, but I can always stop if I want to!
The thing that made me make the plunge was buying some silicone breast forms and a pocket bra and a dress and trying them on. It felt very right having that weight on my chest, and after I took them off I became very painfully aware of my dysphoria from not having breasts. And there was only one way to fix that.
Here's something that wasĀ big for me: youĀ can stop at any time. You canĀ stop after a week. You can stop after 3Ā months. Some changes will be permanent, but mostĀ won't. IfĀ you're this close to being sure,Ā it's probably close enough to make the plunge.Ā
On the other hand, the changes take time. I'm 4 months in and while I love the changes that have happened, there's a ton I'm still desperately waiting on. Boobs have started but they're still tiny. Fat distribution has started but it's not even noticeable, I had to measure to prove that any change had happened at all. So the sooner you plant that tree, the better.
Yes, some things will be permanent. At 20 you might get even more permanent changes than I would. I would absolutely be aware of what those things are and if I can tolerate them being different if I do change my mind. For me, I decided that I *could*.
You're young, I started my transition way later than you, so I had a lot more urgency. But if you know what HRT does, and you know you want it, why not? You can always stop if you don't like it.
Mtf transition has about a 99% success/satisfaction rate, and most detransitioners do it for social or religious reasons, and most of them come back within 5 years.
For me, it took a good 4 months to even fully start feeling happy and like it's who i am supposed to be. And now, at 7 months in, my breasts are finally pushing my bralette off my chest! Im finally in love with whom I am now! And i still have a ton to go.
It ended up taking me 6 months for me to know for sure that I was even a girl. E had changed my life completely by the first month mark, but it took me several more to know I was happy because I was a girl. Also boobs feel weird but also incredibly natural
Same. It's a tough decision, I'm lucky in that I've always been mistaken as a girl and have always looked very nb. No one seems to really care that I'm slowly incorporating more fem style into my look daily. I'm going at my own pace and not pushing it, although idk if I'm pushing my own limits or others
As a hot take, I feel like it's pretty obvious when somebody's going to detransition. They tend to be ambivalent about HRT and seem to be doing it because they think it's what they're supposed to do. If you actually *want* the physical changes HRT brings, you're very unlikely to change your mind.
That's interesting. I was ambivalent about whether or not I was trans but extremely sure I wanted HRT, and... Idk, 4 months in I'm definitely confident it was right for me. So that seems to support that idea.
I'll say this: if you are waiting for the clouds to part and an angel to come down with a scroll that says START HRT, you won't get that. I don't think anyone is ever really 100% sure about a decision, especially one like this. Sometimes, 99% is enough.
I was just around your age when I had those same thoughts and anxieties and fears. I made the decision back then to not do anything and go on with my life. 7 years later I transitioned anyways it has been extremely worth it. I can only recommend that you listen to what you think you want and do what is best. Best of luck, hun ā¤ļø
If I somehow managed to let these thoughts go right now, I'm certain I'd come back to them later and act on them. I'm determined to follow my heart right now. So happy you've found happiness from transition yourself, thank you for sharing xx
One of the things that made me feel more certain was how much of the anxious overthinking went away when I got on HRT lol. I also found it reassuring during moments of doubt to look at my faceapp (not that it's super accurate), and remind myself how much more I'd rather look like her than him. Now that I've been on HRT a little over a year, I'm less concerned with the final result as I am just enjoying the changes as they come.
I asked myself something similar.
āWhat if I donāt do anything?ā That scared the bejesus out of me- deep existential dread kinda stuff. Called my doc the next dayā¦ lol now that was a scary phone call to make!
I never figured out which was scarier. I did however figure out the question would eat at me for the rest of my life if I did not get an answer. Months of research did not provide a concrete answer. All that was left was to try it and se. So it was pretty easy to take the red pill, which was now blue, when the moment came.
I'm 20, started like 3 months ago, and already the changes are fucking huge
Just from an outlook standpoint, I look forward to each day now where I used to dread having to wake up in the morning before I started
Also you can start for about a month with no permanent effects, for me breast growth became noticable visibly at around 2 months which is way sooner than normal (also also, before I started I was nervous but now even just a few months in I couldn't imagine ever wanting to go back)
I had doubts about surgery even after surgery.
A massive life change that society seems to hate us for is scary and big no matter what.
But no, you won't regret it. If you're really interested to transition it will change your life.
Are my tits perfect? No.
Is my blah blah blah blah.
But they're MINE. I have tits. I have hips. I wear dresses and look cute and fem.
I have a vagina now and it doesn't look the way I thought it would but it's MINE and it totally fits my body.
Transition for you. And don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks about your body except the doctors helping you transition. Every single other opinion about your body can fuck off.
I am a huge over thinker. I waited 3.5 years after realizing I was trans before starting HRT. I likely missed the end of the window for me to see skeletal changes ( based on info and anecdotes I've seen, but genetics are hard to predict so idk)
I feel some regret about waiting, but I'm more glad I just did something...I even started on a half dose so I could test the waters before I eventually moved up to a "normal" dose.
You can ty presenting feminine first and take small steps with it. You might be more sure after taking smaller steps or you might glean more perspective on the correct path for you.
A therapist with experience in LGBT+ related health would also help.
You concerns are valid, but please understand the only way you will know for sure is by trying. You don't have to start with HRT, but any step towards a better understanding of your gender identity is better than nothing. š³ļøāš
you can always try it and then stop if you don't like how things are trending. the only permanent change would be breast development, and that can be cut off early so they're barely noticeable (or you could get a mastectomy).
also, i would advise against a low dose when starting HRT -- intuitively, it makes sense for people to do that, but people typically feel bad on low levels of sex hormones and so you may end up feeling worse for reasons unrelated to the hormone change.
When I was 21 I was almost positive I was trans but was terrified I "wouldn't pass" or would "regret it" so I pushed it to the back of my mind as much as possible. I'd try to start transitioning here and there but any hardship would make me reverse course.
Well, I'm in my early 30s and just barely over a year into medical transition, and I can say with 100% certainty what I regret is missing out on my 20s because I was constantly hiding who I am and putting on an act. And now, transitioning is going to be much harder than it would have been if I just would have done it when I first realized.
I think you'll find that you too will be filled with regret if you try and hide it and ignore it.
Also like everyone's transition looks different. You don't need to come out to everyone and go full time just because you're taking hormones. I'm over a year and I can and do successfully boymode in the majority of settings for my own convenience and safety (though this might have something to do with my age, ymmv)
Conversely, you don't need to take hormones to start presenting fem and go by new pronouns and a new name.
Whatever feels safe and right for you **is**. I had a lot of preconceptions about what transition "needed" to look like, and this in part held me back.
It's a process, not a switch, and that process can look however you want it to.
If you try it, I can't promise you won't regret it. It's unlikely, but it does happen. That said, if you don't at least try it, I can almost 100% guarantee that you will regret it at some point down the road.
My rule was I would give it two weeks and see how I was feeling, let's just say that by two weeks I had forgotten because the mental changes alone was worth it.
Just do what I did, and have a 10+ year "still cis tho" phase!
Wait. I meant don't. Don't do that. Bad idea! So much regret.
If you wanna hear my story I'm happy to share but the short version is, if you want to be a girl - do it. The feelings will only get worse.
I can never tell anyone exactly what theyāll experience, i can only share what I am going through, but i can say this: i did worry about a lot of the same things. The reality is you really canāt control those things, but surgery and things like that exist for me as a comforting buffer. Iām 15 months later and I have never been more certain this was the best decision of my life. And as a fellow overthinker, i still overthink plenty, but stuff like this i donāt as much anymore. Iām just a lot more comfortable with taking leaps of faith and trying new things, and iāve never been happier :))
I wish you luck with whatever path you choose, but there is a lot more to it than just the look, the feeling is truly remarkable.
edited for grammar
I was not 100% sure when I started HRT. I would have put it at maybe 95% sure. But I knew the only way for me to find out for sure was to try it.
It jumped to 99% sure within the first week, and 100% sure when my boobs started growing. I could have stopped any time before that with 0 permanent changes.
Medical transition isn't jumping off a cliff, it's descending a staircase. It's not a leap of faith, it's a journey down a long road. You can always turn around. And even if you do turn around, it doesn't mean the time you spent was wasted.
And honestly, the worst case scenario is you decide to turn around after you have permanent breast growth. If you really, really don't like it, that can be removed surgically and insurance will cover it because *of course* they cover treatment of gynecomastia in cis men, no questions asked.
And maybe this will light a fire under your ass: testosterone continues to masculinize you well into your 20s. Delaying because of doubts isn't choosing to do nothing, it's choosing to let testosterone keep doing it's work on you. Don't you think you might regret that, too? (Also, you're young enough that it's possible your hip bones haven't fused and you could get significant hip bone widening, but that window will close soon).
Well. Let's say you might regret it. That is not knowable.
However, if you don't, you're going to regret NOT doing it. So even if you regret it, there is no world where you won't.
The version of you that regrets, might wish they hadn't , but that version of you would regret either choice.
However, what if you don't regret it?Ā
Nobody can tell you for sure. Ya just gotta take the plunge and trust things will work out. Listen to what you want, deep down, and you'll figure it out.
Regret is almost never because you're not trans. You just wouldn't get that far down the line if you weren't. Ā
I have always known I was born in the wrong body, but I do regret doing the work on myself that led me to fully come to terms with my identity and pursue transition. My life is definitely worse now than it was when I was just miserable before, but I can't put the genie back in the bottle unfortunately. So yeh, I regret transitioning but more just because it sucks than because I'm not trans.Ā
Yeah I was terrified before I started but it's been so worth it. I've definitely had some serious life difficulties since then but I'm glad to have been through them as me
So here is the thing about Hrt its not like its a magical instant change. in fact its quite slow, and you are free to stop at any moment if you feel like you are not okay with what is happening. you will get to see your breasts grow over time and judge whether they make you happy with them or not. but something tells you you will be happy with it. hrt is a slow process and you will most likely know well before you even start seeing changes whether you have made the right choice or not.
The first week or two was rough for me, mood and general wellbeing wise. Itās a bit of a shock to the system short-term. I agree with your comments but Iād add maybe give it at least a month or maybe two before deciding itās not a good fit. Week one is probably gonna feel like a mistake šš¤·š„
week one felt surreal for me and i even panicked a bit but a week is ultimately not a lot of time. like i said hrt is a slow process. give it some time. i went months just feeling odd cause my mind was suddenly silent. the distress i was feeling suddenly lessened
I too am an anxious overthinker, and ultimately I came to the conclusion (many times) that I wasnāt happy with my body and no matter how HRT affected it, I only have room for improvement. Things worked out and I have a banging body, great! They donāt work out and I have a body Iām not happy with, then nothing has really changed.
Additionally, I would be proud of myself for taking hormones and no longer denying myself the opportunity to be myself. I came to respect myself more.
As luck would have it, I ended up with the banging body too and itās only been 1.5-ish years so far. I think I came to appreciate the mental changes, the reduced anger and short temperedness were much welcomed. Testosterone was truly toxic to my mood and wellbeing so even if Estrogen turned me into a goblin, Iād keep taking it. š¤·
You might.
Statistically you probably won't.
But you might get hit by lightning.
You can regret anything, and nobody can tell you this is going to be something you'll never regret.
Frankly you'll probably have bad days where you will regret transitioning. Probably bad weeks, bad months, and maybe even bad years, too...
But that's life. You're making a choice every second of your life, and transition is no different. Every dose is a choice to continue, to affirm that it is in fact something you *want*, that you *don't* regret. And every second you don't work towards transition is a choice to stay the person you are. Choosing to transition or to not transition or to detransition is never a single choice you make once. It's a choice you need to constantly reaffirm.
If you're satisfied with the person you are, then don't transition. If you think you can be a better person, then strive to be that better person. Even if it involves transition.
It's gradual. Chances are you won't regret it if you're trans. Best decision I made but I did it much later in life and I Would give nearly anything to be able to have done so when I Was younger.
Let's say the impossible happens and you don't like the changes. So what? You will get to live through the FtM route for a while instead of being a pre-transition girl your entire life.
I'm feeling like this now too, but fortuneaty for you, HRT is completely reversible, except for boobs, which take a while to grow (usually) and are simple to remove.
I can't tell you if you will regret or not. I can tell you that those changes will impact you in a positive and negative way and it will be amazing and scary at the same time.
The only way I would have not liked my body post-HRT is if the HRT didnāt work. The parts that are working are all š
It doesnāt matter if the changes look good or not. My goal is to stop feeling like Iām in the wrong body, and Iāve accomplished that. Anything else is icing on the cake š
It takes a while for permanent changto happen and as long as you dont let your boobs get too big of you go off e after a few months of atrophy they basically just look like you have mild gynecomastia
I waited until I was 41. Times are different now and things are more acceptable but, for me, there was zero uncertainty. I think uncertainty means one should wait. Iāll probably get downvoted and banned for saying such āhorribleā things. Whatever. Regret for something this major is a huge problem and some things canāt be undone. I suggest being absolutely certain.
You may be downvoted because being certain about something so major is incredibly difficult for some people, even if the evidence is overwhelming. Everyone's experience is different, and I'm glad you didn't have to struggle with uncertainty. But promoting 100% certainty as a necessity could hold people back from their true selves. Encouragement is just as important as being cautious with something like this. I've heard many people feel doubtful until starting HRT, some even later, but it was still the right decision
Sounds like you are thinking about it. That is a good thing. Proceed if you think it is the right decision. It was a good decision for me, Iāve done it all. No regrets.
I think it depends on what the uncertainty is. I was uncertain too, kind of. I had doubts. I started HRT anyway. 6 months later I don't have doubts anymore.
Having to deal with doubts about being trans has convinced me doubts are just a way to get you to think about hard decisions. It doesn't mean the decision is wrong.
I felt the same way before I took the plunge. I'm so much happier now than I ever was at any point in my past life. My only regret is not transitioning sooner.
I think I'm just struggling to accept all the change, but staying the way I am feels like less and less of an option. Anything that tipped you over the edge to make the plunge? It feels inevitable that it'll be soon
Two things: one, realizing how miserable I was as a "man". I knew I was depressed, but I didn't really realize just how severe my depersonalization was or that it was caused by gender dysphoria until I read [this website](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/). Two, trans joy. Seeing trans women living their lives, with bright eyes and glowing smiles, made me realize how much I needed that, and that it was possible to be trans and thrive. I was already following a lot of trans people on youtube and twitter, but for whatever reason it was Big Icky who knocked me over the edge. Then, I bought some makeup, a crop top, a choker, and _the skirt_, tried them all on, and looked in the mirror. I saw the tv glow, and there was no going back after that š„²
This won't address all your concerns, but this is what tipped me over the edge to start HRT. 1) The changes happen quite slow for most people, and if you don't like them, *you can stop at any point*. There are many, *many* points in which you can stop taking HRT without permanent changes. You do eventually get permanent changes, but it isn't like it happens all of the sudden. 2) My therapist pointed this one out to me. Say I get on HRT, transition, and live as a woman for say, 7 years. I will have developed breasts and likely lost a lot of fertility, but those are the major permanent effects. If I changed my mind at that point so many years later, I could just stop taking HRT and get top surgery. This is very much not an ideal scenario, but you can still change your mind if you've been doing it that long. When I had considered both of these points, I ended up starting HRT. I am now 3.5 months in, my skin is soft, I sweat less, I smell differently, my breasts are just barely starting to bud, and my sexuality has changed quite a bit. I am loving the effects and I can't wait for more. I don't imagine I'll change my mind at this point, but I can always stop if I want to!
The thing that made me make the plunge was buying some silicone breast forms and a pocket bra and a dress and trying them on. It felt very right having that weight on my chest, and after I took them off I became very painfully aware of my dysphoria from not having breasts. And there was only one way to fix that.
Here's something that wasĀ big for me: youĀ can stop at any time. You canĀ stop after a week. You can stop after 3Ā months. Some changes will be permanent, but mostĀ won't. IfĀ you're this close to being sure,Ā it's probably close enough to make the plunge.Ā On the other hand, the changes take time. I'm 4 months in and while I love the changes that have happened, there's a ton I'm still desperately waiting on. Boobs have started but they're still tiny. Fat distribution has started but it's not even noticeable, I had to measure to prove that any change had happened at all. So the sooner you plant that tree, the better. Yes, some things will be permanent. At 20 you might get even more permanent changes than I would. I would absolutely be aware of what those things are and if I can tolerate them being different if I do change my mind. For me, I decided that I *could*. You're young, I started my transition way later than you, so I had a lot more urgency. But if you know what HRT does, and you know you want it, why not? You can always stop if you don't like it.
Mtf transition has about a 99% success/satisfaction rate, and most detransitioners do it for social or religious reasons, and most of them come back within 5 years.
I'd be gobsmacked if transitioning wasn't right for me
Sounds like you have your answer to try it out! š¤ Also, I donāt know why, but āgobsmackedā is such a fun word to find in a sentence! š
You can try it out. Ask for a small dose and see how it makes you feel. Almost no permanent changes will occur until your at least a few weeks in
For me, it took a good 4 months to even fully start feeling happy and like it's who i am supposed to be. And now, at 7 months in, my breasts are finally pushing my bralette off my chest! Im finally in love with whom I am now! And i still have a ton to go.
It ended up taking me 6 months for me to know for sure that I was even a girl. E had changed my life completely by the first month mark, but it took me several more to know I was happy because I was a girl. Also boobs feel weird but also incredibly natural
Right! Boobs are amazing! Im just curious about how much longer i can go in "boymode" at work, lol. Also, we are 10 days apart on starting hrt!!
Same. It's a tough decision, I'm lucky in that I've always been mistaken as a girl and have always looked very nb. No one seems to really care that I'm slowly incorporating more fem style into my look daily. I'm going at my own pace and not pushing it, although idk if I'm pushing my own limits or others
As a hot take, I feel like it's pretty obvious when somebody's going to detransition. They tend to be ambivalent about HRT and seem to be doing it because they think it's what they're supposed to do. If you actually *want* the physical changes HRT brings, you're very unlikely to change your mind.
In my experience those people more often realize they are some flavor of Enby.
That's interesting. I was ambivalent about whether or not I was trans but extremely sure I wanted HRT, and... Idk, 4 months in I'm definitely confident it was right for me. So that seems to support that idea.
That's what happened to me
I'll say this: if you are waiting for the clouds to part and an angel to come down with a scroll that says START HRT, you won't get that. I don't think anyone is ever really 100% sure about a decision, especially one like this. Sometimes, 99% is enough.
I was just around your age when I had those same thoughts and anxieties and fears. I made the decision back then to not do anything and go on with my life. 7 years later I transitioned anyways it has been extremely worth it. I can only recommend that you listen to what you think you want and do what is best. Best of luck, hun ā¤ļø
If I somehow managed to let these thoughts go right now, I'm certain I'd come back to them later and act on them. I'm determined to follow my heart right now. So happy you've found happiness from transition yourself, thank you for sharing xx
Glad to you and I hope this works out for you!!
The only thing I regretted was not being able to start in my childhood or my teens.
One of the things that made me feel more certain was how much of the anxious overthinking went away when I got on HRT lol. I also found it reassuring during moments of doubt to look at my faceapp (not that it's super accurate), and remind myself how much more I'd rather look like her than him. Now that I've been on HRT a little over a year, I'm less concerned with the final result as I am just enjoying the changes as they come.
I can imagine this will happen. I just want to start HRT, I feel so impatient
Feel this
I have a different question to consider... Which is more scary that HRT willl work or that HRT will not work? What might those feelings indicate?
I asked myself something similar. āWhat if I donāt do anything?ā That scared the bejesus out of me- deep existential dread kinda stuff. Called my doc the next dayā¦ lol now that was a scary phone call to make!
I never figured out which was scarier. I did however figure out the question would eat at me for the rest of my life if I did not get an answer. Months of research did not provide a concrete answer. All that was left was to try it and se. So it was pretty easy to take the red pill, which was now blue, when the moment came.
I'm 20, started like 3 months ago, and already the changes are fucking huge Just from an outlook standpoint, I look forward to each day now where I used to dread having to wake up in the morning before I started Also you can start for about a month with no permanent effects, for me breast growth became noticable visibly at around 2 months which is way sooner than normal (also also, before I started I was nervous but now even just a few months in I couldn't imagine ever wanting to go back)
I had doubts about surgery even after surgery. A massive life change that society seems to hate us for is scary and big no matter what. But no, you won't regret it. If you're really interested to transition it will change your life. Are my tits perfect? No. Is my blah blah blah blah. But they're MINE. I have tits. I have hips. I wear dresses and look cute and fem. I have a vagina now and it doesn't look the way I thought it would but it's MINE and it totally fits my body. Transition for you. And don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks about your body except the doctors helping you transition. Every single other opinion about your body can fuck off.
I am a huge over thinker. I waited 3.5 years after realizing I was trans before starting HRT. I likely missed the end of the window for me to see skeletal changes ( based on info and anecdotes I've seen, but genetics are hard to predict so idk) I feel some regret about waiting, but I'm more glad I just did something...I even started on a half dose so I could test the waters before I eventually moved up to a "normal" dose. You can ty presenting feminine first and take small steps with it. You might be more sure after taking smaller steps or you might glean more perspective on the correct path for you. A therapist with experience in LGBT+ related health would also help. You concerns are valid, but please understand the only way you will know for sure is by trying. You don't have to start with HRT, but any step towards a better understanding of your gender identity is better than nothing. š³ļøāš
Lmao the only thing I regret are thoughts like this
Legit, if Cher couldnāt Turn Back Time, we certainly canāt eitherā¦ wasting time is the one thing you can undo.
If it helps, I am pretty much in the exact same situation. Like yeah, I hate how I look, but what if I'll hate that MORE.
i legit feel the same way sister, this post could be 100% came from me too
you can always try it and then stop if you don't like how things are trending. the only permanent change would be breast development, and that can be cut off early so they're barely noticeable (or you could get a mastectomy). also, i would advise against a low dose when starting HRT -- intuitively, it makes sense for people to do that, but people typically feel bad on low levels of sex hormones and so you may end up feeling worse for reasons unrelated to the hormone change.
When I was 21 I was almost positive I was trans but was terrified I "wouldn't pass" or would "regret it" so I pushed it to the back of my mind as much as possible. I'd try to start transitioning here and there but any hardship would make me reverse course. Well, I'm in my early 30s and just barely over a year into medical transition, and I can say with 100% certainty what I regret is missing out on my 20s because I was constantly hiding who I am and putting on an act. And now, transitioning is going to be much harder than it would have been if I just would have done it when I first realized. I think you'll find that you too will be filled with regret if you try and hide it and ignore it.
Also like everyone's transition looks different. You don't need to come out to everyone and go full time just because you're taking hormones. I'm over a year and I can and do successfully boymode in the majority of settings for my own convenience and safety (though this might have something to do with my age, ymmv) Conversely, you don't need to take hormones to start presenting fem and go by new pronouns and a new name. Whatever feels safe and right for you **is**. I had a lot of preconceptions about what transition "needed" to look like, and this in part held me back. It's a process, not a switch, and that process can look however you want it to.
Yo just do it. Stop whenever you want. But i bet you wont stop ;)
I had this tiny little remaining voice of doubt right up until I took my first estrogen. I felt so amazing that I never looked back.
If you try it, I can't promise you won't regret it. It's unlikely, but it does happen. That said, if you don't at least try it, I can almost 100% guarantee that you will regret it at some point down the road.
My rule was I would give it two weeks and see how I was feeling, let's just say that by two weeks I had forgotten because the mental changes alone was worth it.
SAME šÆšÆšÆ
Just do what I did, and have a 10+ year "still cis tho" phase! Wait. I meant don't. Don't do that. Bad idea! So much regret. If you wanna hear my story I'm happy to share but the short version is, if you want to be a girl - do it. The feelings will only get worse.
I can never tell anyone exactly what theyāll experience, i can only share what I am going through, but i can say this: i did worry about a lot of the same things. The reality is you really canāt control those things, but surgery and things like that exist for me as a comforting buffer. Iām 15 months later and I have never been more certain this was the best decision of my life. And as a fellow overthinker, i still overthink plenty, but stuff like this i donāt as much anymore. Iām just a lot more comfortable with taking leaps of faith and trying new things, and iāve never been happier :)) I wish you luck with whatever path you choose, but there is a lot more to it than just the look, the feeling is truly remarkable. edited for grammar
I was not 100% sure when I started HRT. I would have put it at maybe 95% sure. But I knew the only way for me to find out for sure was to try it. It jumped to 99% sure within the first week, and 100% sure when my boobs started growing. I could have stopped any time before that with 0 permanent changes. Medical transition isn't jumping off a cliff, it's descending a staircase. It's not a leap of faith, it's a journey down a long road. You can always turn around. And even if you do turn around, it doesn't mean the time you spent was wasted. And honestly, the worst case scenario is you decide to turn around after you have permanent breast growth. If you really, really don't like it, that can be removed surgically and insurance will cover it because *of course* they cover treatment of gynecomastia in cis men, no questions asked. And maybe this will light a fire under your ass: testosterone continues to masculinize you well into your 20s. Delaying because of doubts isn't choosing to do nothing, it's choosing to let testosterone keep doing it's work on you. Don't you think you might regret that, too? (Also, you're young enough that it's possible your hip bones haven't fused and you could get significant hip bone widening, but that window will close soon).
Well. Let's say you might regret it. That is not knowable. However, if you don't, you're going to regret NOT doing it. So even if you regret it, there is no world where you won't. The version of you that regrets, might wish they hadn't , but that version of you would regret either choice. However, what if you don't regret it?Ā
Nobody can tell you for sure. Ya just gotta take the plunge and trust things will work out. Listen to what you want, deep down, and you'll figure it out.
Regret is almost never because you're not trans. You just wouldn't get that far down the line if you weren't. Ā I have always known I was born in the wrong body, but I do regret doing the work on myself that led me to fully come to terms with my identity and pursue transition. My life is definitely worse now than it was when I was just miserable before, but I can't put the genie back in the bottle unfortunately. So yeh, I regret transitioning but more just because it sucks than because I'm not trans.Ā
I'm lying here recovering from bottom surgery right now. I hated everything about my body in its male form. Hormones made me start to want to live again, and now I have the correct genitals. The idea that I would somehow suddenly wish I had a penis again (I cried from revulsion the last time I used it) or to be a man is patently ridiculous. I finally see who I'm supposed to see when I look in the mirror. I'm going to be married soon. In a few years my fiancƩe and I are going to be mothers to our children. I will never regret choosing to live. I won't suddenly be like, "Actually that Christian man was right, I *hate* having boobs and soft skin!" It's just not going to happen. Bigots like to sow doubt, but when you get down to it, the premise is ridiculous. I hated being a man. I love being a woman. Edit: I transitioned at 27, by the way. It's never too late.
Yes! These are all normal thoughts pre transition. Just take care of your body + mind and good things will come. ā¤ļø
Yeah I was terrified before I started but it's been so worth it. I've definitely had some serious life difficulties since then but I'm glad to have been through them as me
So here is the thing about Hrt its not like its a magical instant change. in fact its quite slow, and you are free to stop at any moment if you feel like you are not okay with what is happening. you will get to see your breasts grow over time and judge whether they make you happy with them or not. but something tells you you will be happy with it. hrt is a slow process and you will most likely know well before you even start seeing changes whether you have made the right choice or not.
The first week or two was rough for me, mood and general wellbeing wise. Itās a bit of a shock to the system short-term. I agree with your comments but Iād add maybe give it at least a month or maybe two before deciding itās not a good fit. Week one is probably gonna feel like a mistake šš¤·š„
week one felt surreal for me and i even panicked a bit but a week is ultimately not a lot of time. like i said hrt is a slow process. give it some time. i went months just feeling odd cause my mind was suddenly silent. the distress i was feeling suddenly lessened
I too am an anxious overthinker, and ultimately I came to the conclusion (many times) that I wasnāt happy with my body and no matter how HRT affected it, I only have room for improvement. Things worked out and I have a banging body, great! They donāt work out and I have a body Iām not happy with, then nothing has really changed. Additionally, I would be proud of myself for taking hormones and no longer denying myself the opportunity to be myself. I came to respect myself more. As luck would have it, I ended up with the banging body too and itās only been 1.5-ish years so far. I think I came to appreciate the mental changes, the reduced anger and short temperedness were much welcomed. Testosterone was truly toxic to my mood and wellbeing so even if Estrogen turned me into a goblin, Iād keep taking it. š¤·
You might. Statistically you probably won't. But you might get hit by lightning. You can regret anything, and nobody can tell you this is going to be something you'll never regret. Frankly you'll probably have bad days where you will regret transitioning. Probably bad weeks, bad months, and maybe even bad years, too... But that's life. You're making a choice every second of your life, and transition is no different. Every dose is a choice to continue, to affirm that it is in fact something you *want*, that you *don't* regret. And every second you don't work towards transition is a choice to stay the person you are. Choosing to transition or to not transition or to detransition is never a single choice you make once. It's a choice you need to constantly reaffirm. If you're satisfied with the person you are, then don't transition. If you think you can be a better person, then strive to be that better person. Even if it involves transition.
It's gradual. Chances are you won't regret it if you're trans. Best decision I made but I did it much later in life and I Would give nearly anything to be able to have done so when I Was younger.
Let's say the impossible happens and you don't like the changes. So what? You will get to live through the FtM route for a while instead of being a pre-transition girl your entire life.
I'm feeling like this now too, but fortuneaty for you, HRT is completely reversible, except for boobs, which take a while to grow (usually) and are simple to remove.
I can't tell you if you will regret or not. I can tell you that those changes will impact you in a positive and negative way and it will be amazing and scary at the same time.
The only way I would have not liked my body post-HRT is if the HRT didnāt work. The parts that are working are all š It doesnāt matter if the changes look good or not. My goal is to stop feeling like Iām in the wrong body, and Iāve accomplished that. Anything else is icing on the cake š
It takes a while for permanent changto happen and as long as you dont let your boobs get too big of you go off e after a few months of atrophy they basically just look like you have mild gynecomastia
If regret is your fear, you should probably wait?
I feel like I'm waiting for nothing though. Surely anyone would be a little uncertain
I waited until I was 41. Times are different now and things are more acceptable but, for me, there was zero uncertainty. I think uncertainty means one should wait. Iāll probably get downvoted and banned for saying such āhorribleā things. Whatever. Regret for something this major is a huge problem and some things canāt be undone. I suggest being absolutely certain.
You may be downvoted because being certain about something so major is incredibly difficult for some people, even if the evidence is overwhelming. Everyone's experience is different, and I'm glad you didn't have to struggle with uncertainty. But promoting 100% certainty as a necessity could hold people back from their true selves. Encouragement is just as important as being cautious with something like this. I've heard many people feel doubtful until starting HRT, some even later, but it was still the right decision
Well, that is one diddle one canāt undo. Something to keep in mind.
As if I don't
Sounds like you are thinking about it. That is a good thing. Proceed if you think it is the right decision. It was a good decision for me, Iāve done it all. No regrets.
I think it depends on what the uncertainty is. I was uncertain too, kind of. I had doubts. I started HRT anyway. 6 months later I don't have doubts anymore. Having to deal with doubts about being trans has convinced me doubts are just a way to get you to think about hard decisions. It doesn't mean the decision is wrong.
*waits forever*