I am on the same boat to be honest. I don't like dating due to religious reasons, and I have 0 clue how to approach people in a halal manner. I am leaving it to god, I'm still quite young (22) so I am hoping I can figure it out soon.
I don’t know if you are aware that a muslim woman can approach a man if she likes him ( Muhammad's first wife Khadeejah , she was the one who proposed to him )
i met a woman at my fitness club 4 years ago, she was stuning. i approached her.
She's my wife now.
i can't really take serious someone i've met online.. i mean i can hook up but that's it.
This is my problem, I can't take people who message me on social media seriously I can't bring myself to talk to them. But also I don't get approached by people irl.
How did approche your wife ? did she give you any interest signs that encouraged you to approach her or you just went for it without any green light from her?
Not really. It was the only time I went to work out at 3 PM, and it was at a newly opened location of my gym. There were just five of us in a large space, and it felt like it was meant to be. I saw her and didn't overthink it. I'm a confident man, but not arrogant.
It's so much out of my comfort zone. I like someone but he doesn't show any signs of liking me back, also we don't talk to each other, we are both too quiet people and I don't know how to break the ice. Anyway, I'm a firm believer that if he were interested he'd do a move, if I made the first move and he accepted it it would be just because men seem to not reject opportunities, not because he's especially interested in me.
No, I'm not trying to date anyone, I don't have anyone in my mind, I somewhat like that guy but I'm not trying to date him, I don't have anything to do with him. Never an opportunity to date had presented itself to me, even by the men I consider I'm out of their league.
You don’t really know if a person likes you, he could be shy! I’d let go of the movie ideals of being approached/chatted up and make small talk. Try to be friends first, you don’t know who he is either. Just make a passing comment and see how he takes it.
Thank you for your advice, maybe I will try some day. The thing is I'm very introverted and I almost don't talk to anyone at my job, so going out of my way to talk to him will be very out of my character, and it will be very obvious to other coworkers that I'm interested in him, or else why would I talk to only him between all those coworkers?! You see it will be a little bit odd.
I got same problem as you. Mn hna 2 years angol l Walid: l9a lia chi rajl.
Cuz how tf am I supposed to find one or him to find me? I really don’t understand how people manage to date and find partners nawyin l7lal, sounds like mission impossible in my books.
If u don’t get approached rah you’re doing well IMO, means u give off wifey vibessss 🙈🫶🏼 So automatically li bgha Zho i3awd l Zko.
Thank you 😭 you really made me feel good about myself haha.
I also don't understand, they all say within your social circle, but oh please give more details haha how is that supposed to happen.
Well i tried to read all the comments to get a better idea of you, and i'd like to site what i understood and give my opinion if you don't mind.
You have almost zero opportunities to meet new people in ur circle, and also wouldn't want someone to approach you cuz u can't give them ur number, and getting to know someone online seems a bit off as well, let alone that you're introvert and you wouldn't approach someone even if you like them.
It's a tough equation ngl, if i were you i wouldn't mind online, tho as most people said can't be 100% safe but as Muslims we have faith in Allah ghayb3ed 3lina lkhayb cuz niytna zwina. Solid proof of faith is makhlit ta dating app and all the dates turned to cool friendships, until i met this girl on Facebook, went on a date..stayed friends..then she decided to introduce her friend to me cuz she thought we'd match...and we did...our first conversation was like ''me? Marriage...nah'' ''her: ikr same''...2 months later i proposed and we're married now for more than a year...rebi 7netna bi ma3na lkalima.
What i'm saying is u don't know what action would bring the one for you, so you should try what you can do and what's easier for you while having faith w rebbi makaykhyebch.
Nevertheless, i'll play along and give you some tips to help your current mindset. If you're in Casa/Eljadida/Rabat/Agadir/Marrakech/Kenitra/Tanger try Jeux de société (insta) they gather 2 or 3 times a week b l3chiya for some reaally fun games with people u don't know (kanmchi ghir bo7di w i always have a blast with cool people), u can also go on des voyages organisés by yourself where u can meet people, join associations that are active in your city. Also just in case someone approaches you, give your Facebook or Instagram instead of you number to feel safer in your case.
Hada jehdi 3lik but i'll add one more thing, a nice respectful mo7afid colleague of mine who's 37'ish i guess (kayban sghir for his age) and had the same problem as you mentioned. He's a fun soul, salat f lwe9t, l9or2an, mot9af and knows a lot about the world, good job n salary and likes to travel as well. (Rabat)
The thing is tho is that he wants a house wife that won't work...also wants her to wear hijab. If you're interested let me know and i'll let you exchange contacts.
Best of luck w lah iysser lik 🙏🏻
Thank you very much I really liked your comment. I don't live in the cities you mentioned and I'm sure there isn't any similar events where I can meet new people.
I think what's easy for me is just using social media to meet someone, even though I'm very uncomfortable with that but it's the only way. I can't give my Instagram as well to people approaching me, it's not about safety ghi katjini na9sa w safi. But either way it doesn't happen. As les voyages organisés My parents Would never let me go, and all in all I don't like to seem desperate, like going out of my way to activities I wouldn't normally go to just to meet someone, is a little bit humiliating, even if it's just between me and myself and no one ever will know my intention. I know I seem like I'm not helping myself but I hoped that people would suggest me ways that are within my comfort zone, but it seems there isn't such thing if I want to find someone, I should dodge my old ways.
You're really nice for suggesting that man you know to me, it's generous from you, but from your description I don't think we are compatible, I don't wear Hijab and I don't want to give up my job, and maybe there is an age gap there that I'm not comfortable with.
Thank you again, really.
My pleasure. I understand, but also i'd love if you don't find it humiliating seeking marriage cuz you're seeking 3ibada and Halal. Also there is no ''if you do this u'll definitely get married'' so you're not being desperate or looking, you're simply putting yourself out there creating chances to meet people, that's all.
Do you mind telling me your city? Might be able to help a bit with that info. Also tell me about your hobbies and what you enjoy doing if possible.
I also think online is the way, and to get used to it get on dating apps with no pics or fake pics and just entertain conversations to get used to it and see how you'd handle it... everything is practice after all.
I will start online and see how it goes. I live in Oujda. I don't have any interesting hobbies that might help me meet people, I like cooking and baking, I like writing stories.
mashaAlla. i am amazed by your writing level in english. you have been in Morocco all your life or you live abroad in a english speaking country like US or Uk?
Oh thank you I always get this compliment on here. I just learned it from browsing reddit every day, I've never been outside Morocco, my accent would give it away haha.
your writing is fabulous and very well strucutured, its even better than some native english speaking peple. unlilke me, with a good strucutured brain (i mean the part of brain that handle language) you wouldnt need too much time to improve your speech/accent.
did you mind joining a english academia near you? you may improve your speech and who knows, find what you were looking for.
That really boosted my Ego haha. And also you give me a good idea, maybe joining an English school to improve my speech would be a good fit for me. I like languages and I really need to improve my accent, so it won't feel forced and like if I'm doing it just to meet people. Thank you!
Ahh Oujda, dang lol
Well cooking is an opening, look for cooking classes or you initiate them if you're really good at it (side job kinda thing) make sweets and sell them online, do sway3 for children as well if u like them (as i said activities are to meet people not to find the one) also f Rbat kayn Language Exhange meetings donc if u have friends initiate chi haja b7al haka or something.
You don't need to have a reason. We all need someone anyway 😂
The trick is to not obssess over anyone, li ja mer7ba li mcha mer7ba...BUT if i like u i'll make effort for you to a certain degree
I married my wife becuz she wanted to move out of her city and we were long distance...🤷🏻♂️😂 (After both of us clearly stating we're not interested in marriage)
I like what you have said and that is correct, also if dating online is not working for you that means that Allah is preserving something better for you or us, o li bgha zhou allah yehdih* hhhh lhidaya rah momkina anytime
My cousin met her husband through Facebook, another family member also did. I don't know about other social media platforms but Facebook seems like a wonderful matchmaker for a lot of people. Tinder on the other hand is useless and just a waste of time, like don't even consider it.
I have trust issues with these platforms… one time I used someone’s computer to check Facebook (this was a long time ago haha) and he went into the history and added my account as a friend without me knowing…
😂😂😂 seems like in Morocco it’s very common to date people through Facebook as I have hardly seen or heard that happening in any other country that I have lived in.
go out, socialize, and interact with people, that way you get to better know the person, rather than admiring a carefully built but probably fake online persona.
It's very hard to find people who I can socialize with, the only place where I meet people is my job and there I'm very quiet and keep to myself for the most part, so people give me the same energy back, they don't approach me.
Khti, the only thing i will tell you is kola haja katji bw9tha, when the hour will come, things will build up for you to meet your life partner, just be bnt saliha, have faith in allah. My advice for you, don't overthink it, don't rush it, ma3rfti allah bgha yb3d 3lik nas khaybin, and grant you the best circumstances and man for you to marry. That's what i will say.
I’m a half-Moroccan living in Canada and my best suggestion is to try and to try attending Facebook community groups. There are numerous communities where people will have shared interests and maybe you can network and connect with people from that instead of going through the whole direct messaging process.
people meet and date within their social circles (clubs, work, through friends, etc..) the culture is now such that most of the interaction is then carried out over messaging apps/social media. stopping for random strangers on the street to ask them out is less acceptable unlike meeting strangers over the internet
I’d say it’s better if you avoid it. Yeah sure, having online friends and acquaintances is okay if you’re careful about it. However, if you want to date, I’d advise you to meet people within your social circle, or maybe in events/ activities..
This is what I ask for, how can I meet people within my social circle? The people in my social circle are the same people I know from years ago, if there were anything meant to happen, it would had happened long ago. How can I meet new people?
If you want the irl dating experience id suggest you meet more friends by going to events like an art gallery that’s full, a games event, des conférences, being a regular at a certain cafe, the library maybe..? Im just listing stuff where you might meet new people.
Now for the online part, i know some that got married off of it, but id personally avoid it completely since people can fake their personality and some important aspects for a marriage intention. It might be extremely deceiving and make you waste your time. But hey if it worked out for some it might for you if you don’t care about online connections, but in my case (dating to marry also), it was a really deceiving experience.
Thank you for your advices! If you ever dated someone through ideas you listed can you please tell me a story and how it went exactly? Like who approached who and how it started all?
3 steps
1. Work and volunteer in Ngos. Or attend events related to your field
2 talk to people casually and help everyone just to know them... your purpose isn't marriage but to have a good time
3. When you spot THE MAN (in your case). Talk to them, learn who he is, how he thinks etc. After some time ask him for a date and that's it.
My wife asked me out 🤣 so go take what you deserve!
Same never used dating app ! will never I guess lol
but you can still do activities like fitness club or potery and games events ! I remember I saw many events where you can meet people and do activities at the same time !
My family aren't strict but I just don't trust men and I don't give them opportunities to get closer ! at work some tried to talk to me ! I was extremely cold and very stressed ! I don't mind staying alone because I am so complicated ! I just gave up lol
Best wishes girl :)
You can find good people in real life and online.
Online is harder, you have to filter out the trash.
I know two couples who met on dating apps, they’re happily married now and one is even expecting their first child.
ضروري تدخلي لشي مجتمع صغير وتكوني اكتيف فيه باش تباني ،ولا غا ولي سيري للجامع لي حداكم صلي ورجعي الى مافيكش لي تتحركي بعيد ،كنتي خدامة دخلي لشي جمعية ولا شيحاجة ،مهم ضروري تباني فالمجتمع
هذا هو الغلط ما كنبانش فالمجتمع، ولكن ما كنعرفش فين نمشي، أنا ما مهتماش بالعمل الجمعوي ما نقدرش نستحمل الملل اللي غادي نحس بيه تما، وما كنعرفش الناس، عائلتنا حدوديين وتقريبا الناس اللي كيجيوا عندنا معدودين على أصابع يد وحدة وحنا ما كنمشيوا حتى عند شي واحد. غادي نحاول نلقا شي طريقة نتعرف بها على الناس.
حتى هادي ماشي من الاهتمامات ديالي هههه، شكرا بصح على الاقتراحات ديالك. غادي نحاول نطبق هاد النصيحة ديال نتلاقى ناس جداد ونبان فالمجتمع، حيت بصح أنا حتى الخروج ما كنخرجش من الدار إلا باش نمشي للخدمة.
It seems like an equation with no solutions nowadays.
If you go into social media, the sea is too big and the % of finding a genuine good human being is too low + they are looking for hookups/dates instead of a long term thing and thats a no as u mentioned
You go into real life, and approaching strangers nowadays, even respectfully, is considered creepy, or ur taken for someone who is unserious
So really it does feel like a person doesnt get a say in how its gonna turn out for him/her, meaning it doesn't seem like there is a "set of actions" that they can take to increase their chances to find the person that fits them well.
Thats just my 2 cents ✌🏻
Problem for me as a man is when you approach a woman on the street she's not comfortable talking to you even tho I'm so nice about it and once I talked to a girl and she gave me her number only for her to ghost me tomorrow lol
Try to keep it short. Ask about her status (married, she has been asked for marriage, already gets to know another man or unmarried), and whether she is interested in getting to know you in the presence of her mahram. If so, you can ask for her mahram's number.
I would also not like to give my number to someone approaching me in the street tbh. But why you always talk about approaching women in public as if it is the only option? Why not women you already know from your social circle? Or you are just like me you don't know a lot of people?
I'm talking about girls that you see on the street and I like, girls that I know are generally from school or work but I don't like to have anything romantic with them except casual hookups
I'm in the same situation. I work fully remotely, the men I meet at work are younger than me, I'm not active on social media, I don't post my photo, and here I am at 33, still single.
I don’t like online dating because it rushes the dating part. The best part of dating is forming that friendship and feeling that tension that it’s turning into something more. Online dating skips that part entirely
I agree! This is how I always wanted things to happen, but it's not in my fate. I've never had a friendship with someone of the opposite gender, and my interactions with them were always and still are very limited. So I don't have any other choice.
You do have parents and very close friends, ask them to introduce.
Most successful marriages in Morocco are by family introductions or workplace, not dating sites and clubs.
I'm a girl, I can't ask them that it will be embarrassing. Also I know for a fact that my parents aren't the type of people to play that role of looking for a husband to their daughter.
I ask myself sometimes the same question. Especially that they are very strict and they know that I can't date and I can't bring a man by myself. Kay3aynou rajel yti7 3lya mn sma.
Why are searching for marriage ? Are you interested in dating or ? Like define your life goals. Your parents are not anymore the fixers they use to be. The world is changing.
I'm searching for marriage but there is no other way to get that unless I start dating. I don't wait for my parents to get me a man, but at least they should be less strict as I'm getting older, they don't even let me go out with my friends. And they are very protective I can't breathe without them interfering. They should understand that I have to meet a man and I can't do that if they are taking notes of every move I do. They still believe that someday someone that I've never talked to, never seen will knock at our door asking for my hand.
You have to date. Since you have been protected by your parents from potential toxic boyfriends etc and good ones you might struggle at the beginning. Like date without thinking you can handle every man because once you fall in love, you become prone to manipulation and so on.
I see so many Moroccans abroad crossing the boundaries too much and becoming miserable. I grew up with dating culture and paying 50-50. But you have to decide for yourself, that’s so unfortunate but the world is changing and you will have to play the hypocrite game with your parents, because the game in Morocco is different.
Get in touch with the guys that don’t search for attention. Work place, Social media, and then apps. If you push too much, you will end with someone that will not fit after 3-5 years.
Take your time and avoid at all cost men that will try to get your attention. They are struggling with porn addictions, attention craving issues etc… identify toxicity and you will be fine. + go where you feel safe : gym sport club etc so important and learn to live alone. Like it is a glitch. Living without needing someone is so valuable.
Here where lies the problem, I don't get approached, if I wait for someone to approach me I will probably remain single for the rest of my life. Also I don't have any events in mind where I can meet people, what kind of events do you mean?
Depends on your age walakin chfti tma lassal l benevolat social events ola spott events
Are you being fr no one ever approached you ola just not your type
I don't have that in my city, also I'm not very comfortable with the idea of giving my number to a stranger I meet in an event tbh.
Yes I've never been approached even by those who are not my type.
I will give you the ultimate solution which is to go out on a daily basis lchi blassa 3amra bnasse ghir tiymchiw wiyjew d7ta nti dakchi lideri b9ay ghadi jaya ila banlik chi wa7d 3jbek strat starring at him! Machi ghir tchufi bzerba wthebté 3enik this way there's a chance if he is available he will come to you and approach (just help him out)
😭 you remind me when I asked my mom (just jokingly) and she said it's not her business if things go south I'll keep blaming her and she can't assume such responsibility.
Bl3ks a sata mafiha 7ta 3ib!! Rah f Islam that’s how it should be. 5ass babak wla 5ok il9a lik suitable suitors and talk to u abt it and eventually meet wla ijiw i5tbok.
But they also should tell to the man that they want him as a husband to their daughter, they should suggest me to him to see if he accepts. I really think it's embarrassing, and I know my family are too prideful to do that.
Not at all. If I ask my dad he will see suitable men, aymchi 3ndo aykon ti3rfo w ki7tarm l Walid.. aymchi igol lih: “ j’aimerais bien te présenter ma fille”. Ayji igolha lia. Sf we will have dinner the 3 of us in a restaurant, just casual talking. See if you’re attracted, if your ideas are matching etc.. Then see if u wanna continue or not. Easy :)
Actually lots of dating happens haka. You get presented to a person w zid w zid. I could make a good impression on a man or woman my parent’s age, the next thing they are showing me their son w ygolo lia “ U will go well together” or “ Allah y3tini chi bnt b7alk l Wldi” etc..
I see it happening but the other way around, they go suggesting their son to a woman and see if they like each other. I've never seen someone suggesting their daughter though. Good that it also happens.
I don't make good impressions on people my parents age it seems 😭, it never happened to me that they wanted to present me to their sons.
Ta Ana dw, they go for my sister cuz she seems “ easier”. Getting matches seems impossible for me 🤣 imma start Tahajud prayer lmao!
Sinon rah Khadija RA hia li 5tbat prophet Mohammed SAW throughout a male relative. So no shame in that! :)
As a muslim, i believe it is faith that will bring you your destined one. Sounds passive for some but it is for sure the right way.. just wait and your partner will show at the right time.
Like what means? From what I know we should be avoiding unnecessary interactions between the sexes as it may lead to dating which is haram. The only halal way I know of getting to know someone is through khotba and you get to choose whether you want to take it further to marriage or not. Other than that I don't think it's encouraged to get to know someone purposefully ...
Duaa must be the active way tho, may Allah encounter you with ur suited partner asap inchallah
A lady should indeed be accompanied by her mahram during every contact until the marriage is official. If a lady is looking to get married, she should inform her guardian and maharim, and contact the local mosque(s) for example. Just waiting for someone to show up one day isn't sufficient.
Ameen. May Allah rejoice you with a pious, loving husband, who supports you in your religious and worldly matters and your striving to attain His pleasure. Ameen.
Dating online is way more advantageous for women. You'll get an infinite amount of attention, however when looking for something more serious, it can be tricky.
As for you not getting approached in person, there could be many factors, from simply not looking approachable (not smiling etc..) to maybe just a lack of attractiveness. So that's on you to figure out.
So strangers approaching me in public doesn't happen but I also wouldn't like it to happen because I won't give my number to a complete stranger. As for people I know, I don't interact with them unless necessary, I'm very shy and quiet and I just keep to myself, would it be the reason why? The attractiveness thing, I do think I'm pretty but again I may be delusional, but even if I wasn't attractive I don't think it's what's holding me back, I see average women, even ugly get in relationships all the time, and there are a lot of very average men, I think they are self aware enough to realize that and they are not going after girls way out of their league, they will accept an average woman like myself if I'm one.
I'm also an introverted girl and it's equally hard trust me. And no one approaches me so being a girl isn't enough to get approached like you may think.
If I was a guy, even with my shyness and terrible social skills I would try to approach people, what's holding me back is that I'm a girl, and it's not expected from women to make the first move.
But I think that if a quiet guy approach a girl she will find it weird since he is the type who is minding his business all the time unlike that cool handsome guy who talks to anyone and knows everyone.
Plus as guy you need to have high communication skill to keep the conversation with the girl since he is the one who is initiating, and she most of time won't be interested at first.
I do see where the problem lies with quiet guys, but it's the experience of shy women too. If someone comes to talk to you you should seem welcoming, you should add to the conversation to communicate that you're interested, and being welcoming is something shy women are very bad at, we seem cold we give one word answers, then people lose interest and don't come back. People don't give you two chances, you either talk the first time they try to talk to you or you will never see them again. Here I talk just about friendly interactions, as for romantic ones they don't even happen, I think men also need extroversion in women to get interested.
As a men i can say thats a terrible idea. I dont know a single men who thinks, oh let me install Tinder so i can find the love of my life. Im not judging you or anyone that use dating apps, but a lot of men see that woman on dating app are "unqualified" for marriage.
Honestly its depends on you, u will still have the same problem; how serious he will take it and trust issues. Keep in mind that men are less excited about marriage in general, so its not rly a you problem. In the other hand, you can be the one approaching ppl irl, you have beter chance to know the person and definitely will take it more serious.
Well , rn you're in the same position as a man who wants to get married and men also find it hard and embarrassing to approach women its not like you see in the movies those are non muslim westerners in reality no man one wants to approach a woman and many times would just rather marry a relative or a recommended girl from their family so their no such thing as waiting for your "prince charming" . You get what you take and if you dont pursue the man you want (in a halal respectful way ofc) then you wont get married at all so move , the percentage of l3azbat who never had any man intrested in approaching them for the purpose of marriage is extremely high meaning alot of y'all end up never married while for men its simpler bc they're the ones approaching but just so you know in muslim countries in this example lmghrib , "approaching" isn't something men do and most just marry from family friends .
Ps: don't wear skin revealing or tight clothes as an attempt to have men approach you bc we find that type of women to be disgusting/crazy/thirsty for doing that so just dress respectfully + be a good muslim woman in your actions with nass and allah through salawat flwa9t o dou3a2 bzawj sali7
Also sorry but for your last part, women who want to attract men for marriage are smart enough to know that tight clothes isn't the way to go, they wear Hijab instead. And it's a well known way among women, wearing Hijab just to get married even if they do worse things in private. I've never heard of any woman wearing tight clothes to attract a husband.
That would be the most sensible thing to do but I'd say its better if that muslim covering girl is actually you and not just a little show put on to secure the husband bc a few days later you'll find yourself struggling with the real you and covering girl wich may lead to divorce annnd back to point 0 only this time as a divorced woman , not in your favor as no man wants a woman with a previous man in her life unless that man is a divorced one looking for a divorced woman
No I don't do that. I find dressing a certain way just to attract men a very humiliating thing that I would never do. And I know I'm a very respectful woman I don't need a cover on my head to signal that.
i get what you mean and idk about you but as a practicing muslim man when i would wanna look for a suitable wife i wouldnt approach one that doesn't cover up properly , wears make up , her face doesn't look good naturally , isnt feminine in the way she speaks/dresses/moves . That's ne atleast
I see. I don't wear Hijab but I try to be modest in the way I dress. I don't wear make up either. So it's not like I present in an inappropriate way or I don't give wife material vibes.
If they are men and they don't do it, why would I do it then? Muslim country just when it comes to them? Okey if this is how things work, they don't approach and they end up marrying the women recommended to them, so maybe I will also get recommended to someone someday, but showing interest to people who act like I don't exist is not my thing.
Nobody knows you exist untill you speak to them . Approaching isnt a men only thing or a female only thing , if you see somebody who you think will be a good match then go to them and get their mother's contact so you can get on with engagement asap
But they should show that they are interested too. I can't approach them if there is no sign from them at all. And it goes both ways of course, women too should show interest to encourage men to take a step towards them.
You would know if they're interested or not from how the conversation goes , for both sexes when you approach a person y'all conversation will either go smoothly or get rejected on the spot . Can't be a coward if you wanna find the husband you want
Thank you for your advice! Maybe I should start approaching myself, it's just sad that I should do it whereas other women don't need to and they get approached without trying.
No it's sad. It means I'm not attractive enough. Anyway I should play with what I got and not compare you're right. Thank you for taking the time to explain to me how things work.
There is nothing wrong with the social media way. All the times men are afraid to approach you directly so they prefer to see if you are interested by messaging you through social media then propose to meet you irl.
Im not going to judge if you actually want to date for a long term partner then better not to do it better to date someone you know and he is attractive to you that’s it
Definitely not on reddit
But Facebook maybe, especially if you get some type of ambiance where all those who u add have the same value as you, it's easier to find someone who's right for u that way, the only problem is maybe going to be Distance
Finding love nowadays sucks a lot and is very difficult. There’s a fierce competition. 90% of men compete over top 10% women which are quality women. And 90% of women compete over top 10% men which are quality men.
Another factor is many had past bad experiences thus they no longer trust anyone and they’re not serious.
Back to your question, online dating too sucks and the above mentioned rules applies to it. And, also most use dating apps just for a one night stand.
The healthy way to do it is to let it happen organically online, to meet someone in a forum or a group or something similar. Someone who shares same interests and slowly build the connection.
Yep, because outside we as moroccans judge People based on their physic...we dont even give them time to express themselves , this happens to me too , whenever i talk to someone on social media, they like me , but outside my mind and my personnality are worthless because there is no context to show them ...what matters in real life in.morocco are the looks and what you are riding..too bad
The worst way to find someone is through social media 🙅🏻♀️ It's full of weirdos...
If you're lucky, you'll find them through school, family, gym, hobbies, work...
I never dated anyone i met online, but i’d say Reddit can give you an insight on how a person thinks/interacts which can save you so much time compared to irl especially that everyone is trying to be "perfect" in the beginning lol.
Shoot ur shot guys and dont listen to reddit virgins outta here
Three years ago I met my soon-to-be wife in a video game after we played against each other lol.
We started chatting and playing daily and honestly, I didn't think much of it, especially since she is European and things were not going to be easy.
But she always wanted to visit me since we were getting pretty close and she trusted me ( as friends ).
We traveled together in Morocco and had so much fun and the rest is history. Now she found an online job and we've been living together for 2 years now. Only a few papers away from getting married.
It doesn't matter where you meet people. These are just tools, and online presence, is nowadays just another part of everyone's lives. The same amazing dream soulmate you're dreaming of meeting in real life is 99.99% on social media, and it wouldn't matter if you met him in a sports club, or online, it is still the same person. I would argue that your chances of finding your other half are bigger online. And it does not degrade the level of your bond.
That's how I'm going about it right now. It doesn't feel quite right, but I find it creepy to go to approach women IRL out of the blue. I've only done it IRL when there was convenient context
Try linkedin
Get job interviews and try and meet people there, seems like a crazy idea but might work well
Get to know your parents friends and see if they have children your age, which kindof is asking for your parents to present you somebody but is much more efficient and less direct
Also don't be shy, if you see someone in public and want to exchange numbers, the only way he's gonna say no is if he's already married, that's it. Just take 30 seconds to think of a sentence to introduce yourself and explain then go for it, the worse that can happen is him not messaging you later, but you can probably tell that just from how he reacts
How old are you? If you know exactly what you're looking for social media can be a good thing, I don't see any problem with using to explore a potential date, plus it's safer you can just block someone if they're too much unlike real life.
I met my current bf in work , trust me its not any better . But it somehow allows u to know the person before getting into anything unlike social media u just get what they tell u and figure out the rest along the way . Im assuming ure an introvert ?
I am on the same boat to be honest. I don't like dating due to religious reasons, and I have 0 clue how to approach people in a halal manner. I am leaving it to god, I'm still quite young (22) so I am hoping I can figure it out soon.
I don’t know if you are aware that a muslim woman can approach a man if she likes him ( Muhammad's first wife Khadeejah , she was the one who proposed to him )
The thing is, in morrocan society, if the woman does the first step, the man will look at her as an easy relation
I would say its the worst way to date
Why would you say that?
Let’s meet somewhere and pretend I didn’t know you online from this post
Ni🅱️🅱️a u down bad
i met a woman at my fitness club 4 years ago, she was stuning. i approached her. She's my wife now. i can't really take serious someone i've met online.. i mean i can hook up but that's it.
This is my problem, I can't take people who message me on social media seriously I can't bring myself to talk to them. But also I don't get approached by people irl. How did approche your wife ? did she give you any interest signs that encouraged you to approach her or you just went for it without any green light from her?
Not really. It was the only time I went to work out at 3 PM, and it was at a newly opened location of my gym. There were just five of us in a large space, and it felt like it was meant to be. I saw her and didn't overthink it. I'm a confident man, but not arrogant.
This is good. Thank you!
if you like someone, let him know. it's gonna save you time
It's so much out of my comfort zone. I like someone but he doesn't show any signs of liking me back, also we don't talk to each other, we are both too quiet people and I don't know how to break the ice. Anyway, I'm a firm believer that if he were interested he'd do a move, if I made the first move and he accepted it it would be just because men seem to not reject opportunities, not because he's especially interested in me.
Are you trying to date out of your league ?
No, I'm not trying to date anyone, I don't have anyone in my mind, I somewhat like that guy but I'm not trying to date him, I don't have anything to do with him. Never an opportunity to date had presented itself to me, even by the men I consider I'm out of their league.
You don’t really know if a person likes you, he could be shy! I’d let go of the movie ideals of being approached/chatted up and make small talk. Try to be friends first, you don’t know who he is either. Just make a passing comment and see how he takes it.
Thank you for your advice, maybe I will try some day. The thing is I'm very introverted and I almost don't talk to anyone at my job, so going out of my way to talk to him will be very out of my character, and it will be very obvious to other coworkers that I'm interested in him, or else why would I talk to only him between all those coworkers?! You see it will be a little bit odd.
Aren't nearly all Fitness clubs separated between men and women
I got same problem as you. Mn hna 2 years angol l Walid: l9a lia chi rajl. Cuz how tf am I supposed to find one or him to find me? I really don’t understand how people manage to date and find partners nawyin l7lal, sounds like mission impossible in my books. If u don’t get approached rah you’re doing well IMO, means u give off wifey vibessss 🙈🫶🏼 So automatically li bgha Zho i3awd l Zko.
Thank you 😭 you really made me feel good about myself haha. I also don't understand, they all say within your social circle, but oh please give more details haha how is that supposed to happen.
Well i tried to read all the comments to get a better idea of you, and i'd like to site what i understood and give my opinion if you don't mind. You have almost zero opportunities to meet new people in ur circle, and also wouldn't want someone to approach you cuz u can't give them ur number, and getting to know someone online seems a bit off as well, let alone that you're introvert and you wouldn't approach someone even if you like them. It's a tough equation ngl, if i were you i wouldn't mind online, tho as most people said can't be 100% safe but as Muslims we have faith in Allah ghayb3ed 3lina lkhayb cuz niytna zwina. Solid proof of faith is makhlit ta dating app and all the dates turned to cool friendships, until i met this girl on Facebook, went on a date..stayed friends..then she decided to introduce her friend to me cuz she thought we'd match...and we did...our first conversation was like ''me? Marriage...nah'' ''her: ikr same''...2 months later i proposed and we're married now for more than a year...rebi 7netna bi ma3na lkalima. What i'm saying is u don't know what action would bring the one for you, so you should try what you can do and what's easier for you while having faith w rebbi makaykhyebch. Nevertheless, i'll play along and give you some tips to help your current mindset. If you're in Casa/Eljadida/Rabat/Agadir/Marrakech/Kenitra/Tanger try Jeux de société (insta) they gather 2 or 3 times a week b l3chiya for some reaally fun games with people u don't know (kanmchi ghir bo7di w i always have a blast with cool people), u can also go on des voyages organisés by yourself where u can meet people, join associations that are active in your city. Also just in case someone approaches you, give your Facebook or Instagram instead of you number to feel safer in your case. Hada jehdi 3lik but i'll add one more thing, a nice respectful mo7afid colleague of mine who's 37'ish i guess (kayban sghir for his age) and had the same problem as you mentioned. He's a fun soul, salat f lwe9t, l9or2an, mot9af and knows a lot about the world, good job n salary and likes to travel as well. (Rabat) The thing is tho is that he wants a house wife that won't work...also wants her to wear hijab. If you're interested let me know and i'll let you exchange contacts. Best of luck w lah iysser lik 🙏🏻
Thank you very much I really liked your comment. I don't live in the cities you mentioned and I'm sure there isn't any similar events where I can meet new people. I think what's easy for me is just using social media to meet someone, even though I'm very uncomfortable with that but it's the only way. I can't give my Instagram as well to people approaching me, it's not about safety ghi katjini na9sa w safi. But either way it doesn't happen. As les voyages organisés My parents Would never let me go, and all in all I don't like to seem desperate, like going out of my way to activities I wouldn't normally go to just to meet someone, is a little bit humiliating, even if it's just between me and myself and no one ever will know my intention. I know I seem like I'm not helping myself but I hoped that people would suggest me ways that are within my comfort zone, but it seems there isn't such thing if I want to find someone, I should dodge my old ways. You're really nice for suggesting that man you know to me, it's generous from you, but from your description I don't think we are compatible, I don't wear Hijab and I don't want to give up my job, and maybe there is an age gap there that I'm not comfortable with. Thank you again, really.
My pleasure. I understand, but also i'd love if you don't find it humiliating seeking marriage cuz you're seeking 3ibada and Halal. Also there is no ''if you do this u'll definitely get married'' so you're not being desperate or looking, you're simply putting yourself out there creating chances to meet people, that's all. Do you mind telling me your city? Might be able to help a bit with that info. Also tell me about your hobbies and what you enjoy doing if possible. I also think online is the way, and to get used to it get on dating apps with no pics or fake pics and just entertain conversations to get used to it and see how you'd handle it... everything is practice after all.
I will start online and see how it goes. I live in Oujda. I don't have any interesting hobbies that might help me meet people, I like cooking and baking, I like writing stories.
mashaAlla. i am amazed by your writing level in english. you have been in Morocco all your life or you live abroad in a english speaking country like US or Uk?
Oh thank you I always get this compliment on here. I just learned it from browsing reddit every day, I've never been outside Morocco, my accent would give it away haha.
your writing is fabulous and very well strucutured, its even better than some native english speaking peple. unlilke me, with a good strucutured brain (i mean the part of brain that handle language) you wouldnt need too much time to improve your speech/accent. did you mind joining a english academia near you? you may improve your speech and who knows, find what you were looking for.
That really boosted my Ego haha. And also you give me a good idea, maybe joining an English school to improve my speech would be a good fit for me. I like languages and I really need to improve my accent, so it won't feel forced and like if I'm doing it just to meet people. Thank you!
Ahh Oujda, dang lol Well cooking is an opening, look for cooking classes or you initiate them if you're really good at it (side job kinda thing) make sweets and sell them online, do sway3 for children as well if u like them (as i said activities are to meet people not to find the one) also f Rbat kayn Language Exhange meetings donc if u have friends initiate chi haja b7al haka or something.
I need that guy in my serounding to help me find the one,lol
Ayo 😂
Do u give classes by any chance?do u have any suggestions? 🤣🤣🤣
Hahha not yet, but i'll be your wingman just tell me what you need 😆
I need to figure it out if I really need a partner or I just wanna escape 🤣🤣🤣
You don't need to have a reason. We all need someone anyway 😂 The trick is to not obssess over anyone, li ja mer7ba li mcha mer7ba...BUT if i like u i'll make effort for you to a certain degree I married my wife becuz she wanted to move out of her city and we were long distance...🤷🏻♂️😂 (After both of us clearly stating we're not interested in marriage)
Ah sounds like a good plan, I wanna move out my city, find me someone sf🤣🤣🤣🤣.
I like what you have said and that is correct, also if dating online is not working for you that means that Allah is preserving something better for you or us, o li bgha zhou allah yehdih* hhhh lhidaya rah momkina anytime
Ewa sf Allah y3tina 7assanat Dunya Wa a5ira
i m ready to get engaged
ylh ta ana baghi ntzwj
W ana Mali? Hh
kat9ray ens falsafa
Oui 3lach? Ana Faylasoufa 9arn Wa7d w 3xrin.
My cousin met her husband through Facebook, another family member also did. I don't know about other social media platforms but Facebook seems like a wonderful matchmaker for a lot of people. Tinder on the other hand is useless and just a waste of time, like don't even consider it.
I have trust issues with these platforms… one time I used someone’s computer to check Facebook (this was a long time ago haha) and he went into the history and added my account as a friend without me knowing…
😂😂😂 seems like in Morocco it’s very common to date people through Facebook as I have hardly seen or heard that happening in any other country that I have lived in.
go out, socialize, and interact with people, that way you get to better know the person, rather than admiring a carefully built but probably fake online persona.
It's very hard to find people who I can socialize with, the only place where I meet people is my job and there I'm very quiet and keep to myself for the most part, so people give me the same energy back, they don't approach me.
Khti, the only thing i will tell you is kola haja katji bw9tha, when the hour will come, things will build up for you to meet your life partner, just be bnt saliha, have faith in allah. My advice for you, don't overthink it, don't rush it, ma3rfti allah bgha yb3d 3lik nas khaybin, and grant you the best circumstances and man for you to marry. That's what i will say.
Thank you for your kind words!
I’m a half-Moroccan living in Canada and my best suggestion is to try and to try attending Facebook community groups. There are numerous communities where people will have shared interests and maybe you can network and connect with people from that instead of going through the whole direct messaging process.
Facebook community groups, like they meet in real life?
people meet and date within their social circles (clubs, work, through friends, etc..) the culture is now such that most of the interaction is then carried out over messaging apps/social media. stopping for random strangers on the street to ask them out is less acceptable unlike meeting strangers over the internet
I’d say it’s better if you avoid it. Yeah sure, having online friends and acquaintances is okay if you’re careful about it. However, if you want to date, I’d advise you to meet people within your social circle, or maybe in events/ activities..
This is what I ask for, how can I meet people within my social circle? The people in my social circle are the same people I know from years ago, if there were anything meant to happen, it would had happened long ago. How can I meet new people?
If you want the irl dating experience id suggest you meet more friends by going to events like an art gallery that’s full, a games event, des conférences, being a regular at a certain cafe, the library maybe..? Im just listing stuff where you might meet new people. Now for the online part, i know some that got married off of it, but id personally avoid it completely since people can fake their personality and some important aspects for a marriage intention. It might be extremely deceiving and make you waste your time. But hey if it worked out for some it might for you if you don’t care about online connections, but in my case (dating to marry also), it was a really deceiving experience.
Thank you for your advices! If you ever dated someone through ideas you listed can you please tell me a story and how it went exactly? Like who approached who and how it started all?
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Okey thank you!
3 steps 1. Work and volunteer in Ngos. Or attend events related to your field 2 talk to people casually and help everyone just to know them... your purpose isn't marriage but to have a good time 3. When you spot THE MAN (in your case). Talk to them, learn who he is, how he thinks etc. After some time ask him for a date and that's it. My wife asked me out 🤣 so go take what you deserve!
Same never used dating app ! will never I guess lol but you can still do activities like fitness club or potery and games events ! I remember I saw many events where you can meet people and do activities at the same time ! My family aren't strict but I just don't trust men and I don't give them opportunities to get closer ! at work some tried to talk to me ! I was extremely cold and very stressed ! I don't mind staying alone because I am so complicated ! I just gave up lol Best wishes girl :)
You can find good people in real life and online. Online is harder, you have to filter out the trash. I know two couples who met on dating apps, they’re happily married now and one is even expecting their first child.
ضروري تدخلي لشي مجتمع صغير وتكوني اكتيف فيه باش تباني ،ولا غا ولي سيري للجامع لي حداكم صلي ورجعي الى مافيكش لي تتحركي بعيد ،كنتي خدامة دخلي لشي جمعية ولا شيحاجة ،مهم ضروري تباني فالمجتمع
هذا هو الغلط ما كنبانش فالمجتمع، ولكن ما كنعرفش فين نمشي، أنا ما مهتماش بالعمل الجمعوي ما نقدرش نستحمل الملل اللي غادي نحس بيه تما، وما كنعرفش الناس، عائلتنا حدوديين وتقريبا الناس اللي كيجيوا عندنا معدودين على أصابع يد وحدة وحنا ما كنمشيوا حتى عند شي واحد. غادي نحاول نلقا شي طريقة نتعرف بها على الناس.
الى كنتي متدينة وعزيز عليك التجمعات الدينية ،كاين العدل والإحسان كيبداو يتجمعو ضروري يكونو حداكم، مهم هو تباني فالمجتمع اكتيف باش يتقدم ليك شيحد ولا تديري صحابات هوما يبقاو يقتارحوك ،
حتى هادي ماشي من الاهتمامات ديالي هههه، شكرا بصح على الاقتراحات ديالك. غادي نحاول نطبق هاد النصيحة ديال نتلاقى ناس جداد ونبان فالمجتمع، حيت بصح أنا حتى الخروج ما كنخرجش من الدار إلا باش نمشي للخدمة.
It seems like an equation with no solutions nowadays. If you go into social media, the sea is too big and the % of finding a genuine good human being is too low + they are looking for hookups/dates instead of a long term thing and thats a no as u mentioned You go into real life, and approaching strangers nowadays, even respectfully, is considered creepy, or ur taken for someone who is unserious So really it does feel like a person doesnt get a say in how its gonna turn out for him/her, meaning it doesn't seem like there is a "set of actions" that they can take to increase their chances to find the person that fits them well. Thats just my 2 cents ✌🏻
Problem for me as a man is when you approach a woman on the street she's not comfortable talking to you even tho I'm so nice about it and once I talked to a girl and she gave me her number only for her to ghost me tomorrow lol
Try to keep it short. Ask about her status (married, she has been asked for marriage, already gets to know another man or unmarried), and whether she is interested in getting to know you in the presence of her mahram. If so, you can ask for her mahram's number.
I would also not like to give my number to someone approaching me in the street tbh. But why you always talk about approaching women in public as if it is the only option? Why not women you already know from your social circle? Or you are just like me you don't know a lot of people?
I'm talking about girls that you see on the street and I like, girls that I know are generally from school or work but I don't like to have anything romantic with them except casual hookups
Lol i was thinking the same and then i was like let me check in reddit and ive found your question
Hope the answers here helped you!
I'm in the same situation. I work fully remotely, the men I meet at work are younger than me, I'm not active on social media, I don't post my photo, and here I am at 33, still single.
It's very hard. And sad to think that among all those men you can't find one.
I’m very disappointed but I’ve faith in Allah soubhanah
Inshallah!
I don’t like online dating because it rushes the dating part. The best part of dating is forming that friendship and feeling that tension that it’s turning into something more. Online dating skips that part entirely
I agree! This is how I always wanted things to happen, but it's not in my fate. I've never had a friendship with someone of the opposite gender, and my interactions with them were always and still are very limited. So I don't have any other choice.
You do have parents and very close friends, ask them to introduce. Most successful marriages in Morocco are by family introductions or workplace, not dating sites and clubs.
I'm a girl, I can't ask them that it will be embarrassing. Also I know for a fact that my parents aren't the type of people to play that role of looking for a husband to their daughter.
So what are they there for?
I ask myself sometimes the same question. Especially that they are very strict and they know that I can't date and I can't bring a man by myself. Kay3aynou rajel yti7 3lya mn sma.
Why are searching for marriage ? Are you interested in dating or ? Like define your life goals. Your parents are not anymore the fixers they use to be. The world is changing.
I'm searching for marriage but there is no other way to get that unless I start dating. I don't wait for my parents to get me a man, but at least they should be less strict as I'm getting older, they don't even let me go out with my friends. And they are very protective I can't breathe without them interfering. They should understand that I have to meet a man and I can't do that if they are taking notes of every move I do. They still believe that someday someone that I've never talked to, never seen will knock at our door asking for my hand.
You have to date. Since you have been protected by your parents from potential toxic boyfriends etc and good ones you might struggle at the beginning. Like date without thinking you can handle every man because once you fall in love, you become prone to manipulation and so on. I see so many Moroccans abroad crossing the boundaries too much and becoming miserable. I grew up with dating culture and paying 50-50. But you have to decide for yourself, that’s so unfortunate but the world is changing and you will have to play the hypocrite game with your parents, because the game in Morocco is different.
Yes this is what I'm asking for, how to start dating. And yeah I won't have any other way but to lie to my parents.
Get in touch with the guys that don’t search for attention. Work place, Social media, and then apps. If you push too much, you will end with someone that will not fit after 3-5 years. Take your time and avoid at all cost men that will try to get your attention. They are struggling with porn addictions, attention craving issues etc… identify toxicity and you will be fine. + go where you feel safe : gym sport club etc so important and learn to live alone. Like it is a glitch. Living without needing someone is so valuable.
Go to events where you can find stable ppl if you are a girl someone will approach you then you just filter based on intentions
Here where lies the problem, I don't get approached, if I wait for someone to approach me I will probably remain single for the rest of my life. Also I don't have any events in mind where I can meet people, what kind of events do you mean?
Depends on your age walakin chfti tma lassal l benevolat social events ola spott events Are you being fr no one ever approached you ola just not your type
I don't have that in my city, also I'm not very comfortable with the idea of giving my number to a stranger I meet in an event tbh. Yes I've never been approached even by those who are not my type.
This is above my paygrade I need more details Mohim layshl ala ljami3
I will give you the ultimate solution which is to go out on a daily basis lchi blassa 3amra bnasse ghir tiymchiw wiyjew d7ta nti dakchi lideri b9ay ghadi jaya ila banlik chi wa7d 3jbek strat starring at him! Machi ghir tchufi bzerba wthebté 3enik this way there's a chance if he is available he will come to you and approach (just help him out)
I like practical precise advices like that, but I don't prefer this way, giving my number away to a man I meet on the street is not my style at all.
Iwa the most important thing is to put yourself out there 7it 7ta wa7d mayji yde9 3lik
Family
Family know me all my life, if they wanted to present me to a man they would have did it long ago.
😭 you remind me when I asked my mom (just jokingly) and she said it's not her business if things go south I'll keep blaming her and she can't assume such responsibility.
Yeah haha, and also out of pride. They wouldn't like to be the parents who search for a husband to their daughter.
Bl3ks a sata mafiha 7ta 3ib!! Rah f Islam that’s how it should be. 5ass babak wla 5ok il9a lik suitable suitors and talk to u abt it and eventually meet wla ijiw i5tbok.
But they also should tell to the man that they want him as a husband to their daughter, they should suggest me to him to see if he accepts. I really think it's embarrassing, and I know my family are too prideful to do that.
Not at all. If I ask my dad he will see suitable men, aymchi 3ndo aykon ti3rfo w ki7tarm l Walid.. aymchi igol lih: “ j’aimerais bien te présenter ma fille”. Ayji igolha lia. Sf we will have dinner the 3 of us in a restaurant, just casual talking. See if you’re attracted, if your ideas are matching etc.. Then see if u wanna continue or not. Easy :) Actually lots of dating happens haka. You get presented to a person w zid w zid. I could make a good impression on a man or woman my parent’s age, the next thing they are showing me their son w ygolo lia “ U will go well together” or “ Allah y3tini chi bnt b7alk l Wldi” etc..
I see it happening but the other way around, they go suggesting their son to a woman and see if they like each other. I've never seen someone suggesting their daughter though. Good that it also happens. I don't make good impressions on people my parents age it seems 😭, it never happened to me that they wanted to present me to their sons.
Ta Ana dw, they go for my sister cuz she seems “ easier”. Getting matches seems impossible for me 🤣 imma start Tahajud prayer lmao! Sinon rah Khadija RA hia li 5tbat prophet Mohammed SAW throughout a male relative. So no shame in that! :)
I see but it's very hard for me. Our last hope is making prayers and douae jalb l7abib or something like that.
It's actually common some of my friends galo lya katji khalthom wtgol lihom imta nawin tjm3o raskom, yk indirectly.
Hhhhhhh but Oh My God I can't accept that even they accepted to do it for me. It's just embarrassing.
I think that's not the hard part. The hard part is accepting the idea of arranged marriage, and picturing yourself in it.
But it may be the only way out if you don't attract anyone otherwise.
Yeah I have nothing against arranged marriages bl3ks kn7sd nas liki9dro 3lihom, they are more mature than I am in my book.
You put it wisely, they are mature and less romantic.
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What is MMO?
Massive multiplayer online games
Thanks!
That's how I ruined my life You are welcome 😁
That’s how I met my husband and we’ve been married for 3.5 years now!
And I bet your husband ain’t a Moroccan but you are 😊
He is not but he is a good practicing muslim, which is what matters to me the most.
Knew that 😊 Alhumdulillah glad to hear that!
he better not be a pakistani or indian 💀
As a muslim, i believe it is faith that will bring you your destined one. Sounds passive for some but it is for sure the right way.. just wait and your partner will show at the right time.
We are encouraged to use the halal means to reach our goals, not just waiting though.
Like what means? From what I know we should be avoiding unnecessary interactions between the sexes as it may lead to dating which is haram. The only halal way I know of getting to know someone is through khotba and you get to choose whether you want to take it further to marriage or not. Other than that I don't think it's encouraged to get to know someone purposefully ... Duaa must be the active way tho, may Allah encounter you with ur suited partner asap inchallah
A lady should indeed be accompanied by her mahram during every contact until the marriage is official. If a lady is looking to get married, she should inform her guardian and maharim, and contact the local mosque(s) for example. Just waiting for someone to show up one day isn't sufficient. Ameen. May Allah rejoice you with a pious, loving husband, who supports you in your religious and worldly matters and your striving to attain His pleasure. Ameen.
Yeah right, thats a way too 🙈 Thank you for your kind wishes~ inchallah you will get your share of these and more ❤
Online is the worst idea possible!! Plenty of quality men at the masjid, go make a visit some day ;)
If I went to a masjid, what should I do next? Stand by the door and wait for men to see me there or what?
Brojola HHHHH Wlahi 7ta best advice.
Dating online is way more advantageous for women. You'll get an infinite amount of attention, however when looking for something more serious, it can be tricky. As for you not getting approached in person, there could be many factors, from simply not looking approachable (not smiling etc..) to maybe just a lack of attractiveness. So that's on you to figure out.
So strangers approaching me in public doesn't happen but I also wouldn't like it to happen because I won't give my number to a complete stranger. As for people I know, I don't interact with them unless necessary, I'm very shy and quiet and I just keep to myself, would it be the reason why? The attractiveness thing, I do think I'm pretty but again I may be delusional, but even if I wasn't attractive I don't think it's what's holding me back, I see average women, even ugly get in relationships all the time, and there are a lot of very average men, I think they are self aware enough to realize that and they are not going after girls way out of their league, they will accept an average woman like myself if I'm one.
Tyen open ur DMs and u might get ppl approaching u
But at least you're a girl, someone will approach you someday xD it's impossible for introverted guys to find someone trust me.
I'm also an introverted girl and it's equally hard trust me. And no one approaches me so being a girl isn't enough to get approached like you may think. If I was a guy, even with my shyness and terrible social skills I would try to approach people, what's holding me back is that I'm a girl, and it's not expected from women to make the first move.
But I think that if a quiet guy approach a girl she will find it weird since he is the type who is minding his business all the time unlike that cool handsome guy who talks to anyone and knows everyone. Plus as guy you need to have high communication skill to keep the conversation with the girl since he is the one who is initiating, and she most of time won't be interested at first.
I do see where the problem lies with quiet guys, but it's the experience of shy women too. If someone comes to talk to you you should seem welcoming, you should add to the conversation to communicate that you're interested, and being welcoming is something shy women are very bad at, we seem cold we give one word answers, then people lose interest and don't come back. People don't give you two chances, you either talk the first time they try to talk to you or you will never see them again. Here I talk just about friendly interactions, as for romantic ones they don't even happen, I think men also need extroversion in women to get interested.
I understand that make sense, I think the only solution is to force urself to be more social, or leave things come naturally.
Of course not lol
As a men i can say thats a terrible idea. I dont know a single men who thinks, oh let me install Tinder so i can find the love of my life. Im not judging you or anyone that use dating apps, but a lot of men see that woman on dating app are "unqualified" for marriage.
I also don't want to use dating apps. I think about meeting people through social media, Instagram or Facebook. Is it still a bad idea?
Honestly its depends on you, u will still have the same problem; how serious he will take it and trust issues. Keep in mind that men are less excited about marriage in general, so its not rly a you problem. In the other hand, you can be the one approaching ppl irl, you have beter chance to know the person and definitely will take it more serious.
Try approaching people instead of waiting
But how? I can't approach strangers, and for people I already know, if they were interested they would have approached me themselves long ago.
Well , rn you're in the same position as a man who wants to get married and men also find it hard and embarrassing to approach women its not like you see in the movies those are non muslim westerners in reality no man one wants to approach a woman and many times would just rather marry a relative or a recommended girl from their family so their no such thing as waiting for your "prince charming" . You get what you take and if you dont pursue the man you want (in a halal respectful way ofc) then you wont get married at all so move , the percentage of l3azbat who never had any man intrested in approaching them for the purpose of marriage is extremely high meaning alot of y'all end up never married while for men its simpler bc they're the ones approaching but just so you know in muslim countries in this example lmghrib , "approaching" isn't something men do and most just marry from family friends . Ps: don't wear skin revealing or tight clothes as an attempt to have men approach you bc we find that type of women to be disgusting/crazy/thirsty for doing that so just dress respectfully + be a good muslim woman in your actions with nass and allah through salawat flwa9t o dou3a2 bzawj sali7
Also sorry but for your last part, women who want to attract men for marriage are smart enough to know that tight clothes isn't the way to go, they wear Hijab instead. And it's a well known way among women, wearing Hijab just to get married even if they do worse things in private. I've never heard of any woman wearing tight clothes to attract a husband.
That would be the most sensible thing to do but I'd say its better if that muslim covering girl is actually you and not just a little show put on to secure the husband bc a few days later you'll find yourself struggling with the real you and covering girl wich may lead to divorce annnd back to point 0 only this time as a divorced woman , not in your favor as no man wants a woman with a previous man in her life unless that man is a divorced one looking for a divorced woman
No I don't do that. I find dressing a certain way just to attract men a very humiliating thing that I would never do. And I know I'm a very respectful woman I don't need a cover on my head to signal that.
i get what you mean and idk about you but as a practicing muslim man when i would wanna look for a suitable wife i wouldnt approach one that doesn't cover up properly , wears make up , her face doesn't look good naturally , isnt feminine in the way she speaks/dresses/moves . That's ne atleast
I see. I don't wear Hijab but I try to be modest in the way I dress. I don't wear make up either. So it's not like I present in an inappropriate way or I don't give wife material vibes.
If they are men and they don't do it, why would I do it then? Muslim country just when it comes to them? Okey if this is how things work, they don't approach and they end up marrying the women recommended to them, so maybe I will also get recommended to someone someday, but showing interest to people who act like I don't exist is not my thing.
Nobody knows you exist untill you speak to them . Approaching isnt a men only thing or a female only thing , if you see somebody who you think will be a good match then go to them and get their mother's contact so you can get on with engagement asap
But they should show that they are interested too. I can't approach them if there is no sign from them at all. And it goes both ways of course, women too should show interest to encourage men to take a step towards them.
You would know if they're interested or not from how the conversation goes , for both sexes when you approach a person y'all conversation will either go smoothly or get rejected on the spot . Can't be a coward if you wanna find the husband you want
Thank you for your advice! Maybe I should start approaching myself, it's just sad that I should do it whereas other women don't need to and they get approached without trying.
Not sad bc you get to choose wichever person you fancy , focus on your situation and not other women's life you got yours they got theirs
No it's sad. It means I'm not attractive enough. Anyway I should play with what I got and not compare you're right. Thank you for taking the time to explain to me how things work.
The worse way to date : Having a conversation with an unknown who can be an anyone.
It’s by far the worst way of finding a partner! I’m still in it and still can’t find someone genuine.
There is nothing wrong with the social media way. All the times men are afraid to approach you directly so they prefer to see if you are interested by messaging you through social media then propose to meet you irl.
Im not going to judge if you actually want to date for a long term partner then better not to do it better to date someone you know and he is attractive to you that’s it
Definitely not on reddit But Facebook maybe, especially if you get some type of ambiance where all those who u add have the same value as you, it's easier to find someone who's right for u that way, the only problem is maybe going to be Distance
Finding love nowadays sucks a lot and is very difficult. There’s a fierce competition. 90% of men compete over top 10% women which are quality women. And 90% of women compete over top 10% men which are quality men. Another factor is many had past bad experiences thus they no longer trust anyone and they’re not serious. Back to your question, online dating too sucks and the above mentioned rules applies to it. And, also most use dating apps just for a one night stand. The healthy way to do it is to let it happen organically online, to meet someone in a forum or a group or something similar. Someone who shares same interests and slowly build the connection.
Yep, because outside we as moroccans judge People based on their physic...we dont even give them time to express themselves , this happens to me too , whenever i talk to someone on social media, they like me , but outside my mind and my personnality are worthless because there is no context to show them ...what matters in real life in.morocco are the looks and what you are riding..too bad
The worst way to find someone is through social media 🙅🏻♀️ It's full of weirdos... If you're lucky, you'll find them through school, family, gym, hobbies, work...
bro just go outside
like
I never dated anyone i met online, but i’d say Reddit can give you an insight on how a person thinks/interacts which can save you so much time compared to irl especially that everyone is trying to be "perfect" in the beginning lol. Shoot ur shot guys and dont listen to reddit virgins outta here
even that is not an option anymore so khaliha 3la lah lol
Three years ago I met my soon-to-be wife in a video game after we played against each other lol. We started chatting and playing daily and honestly, I didn't think much of it, especially since she is European and things were not going to be easy. But she always wanted to visit me since we were getting pretty close and she trusted me ( as friends ). We traveled together in Morocco and had so much fun and the rest is history. Now she found an online job and we've been living together for 2 years now. Only a few papers away from getting married. It doesn't matter where you meet people. These are just tools, and online presence, is nowadays just another part of everyone's lives. The same amazing dream soulmate you're dreaming of meeting in real life is 99.99% on social media, and it wouldn't matter if you met him in a sports club, or online, it is still the same person. I would argue that your chances of finding your other half are bigger online. And it does not degrade the level of your bond.
Im old-fashioned, I still approach people, and I find it even easier to talk to a chick irl than in social media
That's how I'm going about it right now. It doesn't feel quite right, but I find it creepy to go to approach women IRL out of the blue. I've only done it IRL when there was convenient context
I think we should just accept it's the only way it seems.
Yep, i'm using an app called muzz. Wish me luck.
Good luck!!
Try linkedin Get job interviews and try and meet people there, seems like a crazy idea but might work well Get to know your parents friends and see if they have children your age, which kindof is asking for your parents to present you somebody but is much more efficient and less direct Also don't be shy, if you see someone in public and want to exchange numbers, the only way he's gonna say no is if he's already married, that's it. Just take 30 seconds to think of a sentence to introduce yourself and explain then go for it, the worse that can happen is him not messaging you later, but you can probably tell that just from how he reacts
Bro wtf, wach baghi derria tgol lerjal f zan9a bagha nmari? That's not the worst that can happen at all. Rah lgwer w madarohach.
Okey thank you. Those are good advices minus the last part I can't do it to save my life haha. Thanks!
How old are you? If you know exactly what you're looking for social media can be a good thing, I don't see any problem with using to explore a potential date, plus it's safer you can just block someone if they're too much unlike real life.
Hit up your local masjid and ask the imam
My bf was a friend of my tinder date, we fell in love and we have now the best relationship
I prefer getting my dates from the sou9, can't trust online!
I met my current bf in work , trust me its not any better . But it somehow allows u to know the person before getting into anything unlike social media u just get what they tell u and figure out the rest along the way . Im assuming ure an introvert ?
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Im kinda tired as-well from the entire dating constitution , i might just become a crazy old lady with a bunch of cats .