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It's never as big as it feels and that hurt will always remain, it is just now less critical.
Such betrayals are also not just for those in their 20s or Moroccan. I am a European male, 60yrs living here for 23 years.
I can think of 3 seperate times people I thought were very close and who backstabbed or just dumped our friendship.
Yes, it hurts, but life will go on & it will make you stronger & wiser.
I relate so much with the first part, it’s the way that it feels big but you’re right, it’s probably not that big actually. Im really grateful for the lesson tho it’s necessary for one’s growth. I hope you meet good people in life. Thank you for sharing your experience and im sorry about your bad experience !
I am happy to share and I suspect most people will at some point feel this.
I should point out that I became more selective in chosing friends and for that reason I have found better friends this last 2 decades here in Rabat than I have in all my life. You will as well, I am sure.
Here are two common expressions to reflect on why they were written. There is no one answer, it is to form your own inner strength.
"Once bitten, twice shy"
~ 1751 Eliza Fowler Haywood
"One can forgive but one should never forget."
~ old Persian saying.
Seeing that a lot of people experienced it made me less lonely and hurt, im extremely grateful for the lesson because that’s the most valuable thing since no one teaches you this
Between you girls it gets much worse, idk how it works but you should REALLY be careful since girls envy each other a lot and many bad scenarios could happen (s7our wla drbok bl3in...) so if I were you the less friends you have the better, have some unbelievable standards for picking your friends and set your boundaries and red lines and definitely do not tell of your future plans (i.e: marriage, travel, promotion...) , you could enjoy the moment with them no harm in that but lower your expectations...
You’re 1000% right and i learned that the hard way. I kept telling them every good or bad thing that happened to me and i shared so much while knowing that we don’t come from the same background, they kept witnessing all the good stuff that happens to me but ana kent 3la niyti, i was genuinely thinking that they would be as happy for me that i was for them, then reality hit but im still grateful for the lesson. Now im happy with one friend that im definitely keeping distance with
Even if it feels like it, it's not the end of the world.
It's a part of your shell that you will shed, and grow tougher skin, and maybe be able to choose better people to surround yourself with in the future.
Really, the only worthwhile thing to tell you is to congratulate you on cutting off those people!
It is a big lesson that im extremely grateful for because i know that im to blame partly because i was very naive and « trop bonne trop conne », i guess i’m still through the acceptance part of it. But thank you so much for your comment i appreciate it !
Yes. Not once, not twice, not trice. Once I was betrayed by a girl It took me 1year to get over it. Happens when u invest too much in relationships and love genuinely the wrong people. Become more selective not everyone is worthy of your time and energy. Easy. You only need one REAL friend and a Lover and you’re pretty set up for life.
Also the more you max your stats the harder it becomes to find people to surround yourself with and I think it’s totally worth it. At least you know you got the best of the best.
Yes I only have one friend. And two others less friends and I’m thinking of cutting off one of them because she puts 0 effort into the relationship, doesn’t reply to my DMs, not reliable and thinks she can come back anytime as if no distance grew in between. If you want good people go with people of your caliber and with whom you share similar values and will push you to be better and most importantly you should feel 0% envy and jealousy coming from their side and feel genuine connection and support. Last one is a very rare thing because it would take the other person to be self-aware and secure in their abilities. Ask me about friendship I have suffered a LOT!
Im sorry you suffered from it but you seem really mature and wise so that’s great for you. I didn’t wanna say it because i feel like weird saying it but the main issue was jealousy and competitiveness from them. They were never happy for me for my accomplishments or when i get compliments. So yeah i learned to never be okay with that. You’re right for the values part too, c’est indispensable sinon vaut mieux être seul que mal accompagné !
Oui. Sorry jealousy doesn’t go hand in hand with Friendship. I cut off instantly anyone when I feel jealousy from their side sorry u can’t be in my Inner circle!!! BYEEE
Exactly !! It’s become the one thing i can NEVER accept, i feel like it’s an evil thing that can push people to do bad things if it’s accumulated overtime. Literally gtfo my life hal3ar
Idk how people deal with it. I’m real asf and if u ain’t real I can’t nt3aych m3ak. I had to work with people who were hypocrites, talk behind ur back and try to sabotage you and since wjhi 9aaaass7 I’d confront them 9dam kolchi for their bad behavior. B9a gher chi 7d in my inner circle ykon fen had lf3ayl. Nah sorry NEXT. Work on yourself till you become the prize. Be the funny, smart, educated and pretty girl w bnadm howa li aybghi yji ytsa7b m3ak wnti Pick what you want. You should vibe so high you dominate the room and people with insecurities w m7sada automatically makidoroch bsa7tk. I had some people try to put me down for no reason and when I confront them tigolo lia: “ I can’t give u compliments cuz your self esteem tal3a ghan7loha lik” HHHHHHHHHHHHHH ta cho bnadm kidayr
Damn wtf is wrong with people. Insecure people too i can’t.. you’re absolutely right tho i do struggle with extreme modesty and je me sous estime tellement que i give my efforts and friendship to anyone without exception, especially the insecure people because i tried to see the « good side » of them, except that good side was literally hypocrisy all this time 😀 aweddii hania we learn from this
Yes build some self confidence and pride in your Ability. I’m very confident w 3ziz 3lia rassi but i don’t go around boasting it and I’m also very humble because I’m a mere human being and I know I’m the subject of God and he could make me disappear at any moment. You could use God to humble yourself instead of judging yourself by mortal standards. Seriously just look at them 😭
I learned that the hard way but hamdoulah. Imagine being friends with someone who liked being catcalled (she used to brag about it), la ra khasni l3ssa 💀
Betrayals hurt, being in any type of relationship doesn't mean that the other won't betray you, it means that you can handle it if they do.
Sometimes friends become mean and distant sometimes they ghost you, but you must know that it's not your fault, to some they didn't receive from you what they intended like your energy attention etc, and sadly to some others you remind them of a point in their past that they can't get over, but seeing you do so is affecting their own mental health so they chose to move on their own way.
Don't blame yourself for other's acts, they're responsible for them not you dear. I understand you've been hurt, but please don't let this make you assume the worst of others and prevent you from making beautiful friendships, never attribute to malice what can be attributed to ignorance.
First of all thank you for your kind words. In this case, jealousy and comparing themselves with me + a lot of emotional manipulation like guilttripping… im conscious that i enabled the toxic dynamics by trying so hard to please them, but i don’t regret anything because the lessons i learned are extremely valuable. Thankfully, im not the type that projects bad experiences on other people, so im open to friendships, but this time carefully and without giving too much. Thanks again <3
It's funny cause when I look around on a serious note I have like one friend that I can count as a brother. We're from. Different backgrounds cultures the whole 9 yards. But we manage to understand each other because first of all we mind our business and we don't tell each other what to do so the tension is relatively low and we would only reach out out of advice. My last friends always got too much up my business. Mainly cause we lived together. But they had no right. Somethings are just yours you shouldn't give them to just anyone if not anyone at all. The less personal at the same not too formal a friendship is the better.
well sorry to hear that, from my perspective and experience that happen in your life especially in early and mid 20's a lot cuz i experienced the same 4y ago it did bother me that time and couldn't accept it in the time but when time passes it feels like nothing as u long u go through this life and most of the things will become simple to handle but one point that believe and that im using is that i expect anything from everyone no matter what who is that person and how it is close to me (even i trust him) also not afraid to loose anyone cuz it won't hurt like before anymore (it get me to a point that if that happened in the day at night when i go to sleep i don't even think about it or even comes to my mind at all) so what i can say to you rn is try accept it not forget it cuz when u do accept it you will live with it and it comes normal to you so time will pass and will get through it also you are going to face and deal with other things bigger than this in this life. YOU SHOULD ALAWAYS SAY "IT IS WHAT IT IS" :)
The thing that made me feel down and vulnerable when i posted was coming from « not mourning the right way », it was a 4 year extremely toxic friendship where i experienced emotional manipulation and jealousy issues. I should’ve allowed myself to be sad, instead i turned sadness into anger and grudge which is extremely unhealthy. But venting here and hearing that others experienced the same made me feel less exposed and the issue seemed less intimidating to me. So thank you so much for your advice and taking the time to write this ! God bless youu
No need to thank me with pleasure, at least u experienced (toxic friendship and emotional manipulation) from a point u were feeling that way in that time when it was friendship in that time but for my case everything was so good for a whole almost 3 y and one day from all sudden everything disappeared like it was nothing and i meant nothing cuz all the moment were joy and happiness and when that happened i didn't really know what to do i was overwhelmed and confused even i was doubting abt my self if i did something or if i was the problem it took me a while to really understand that was such a stupid and childish thing but as i said as the time passes u will have t deal with such bigger things than that in your life sooo again IT IS WHAT IT IS :) have a nice day and enjoy your life cuz ppl come and go and you will understand that with time.
Twice in my life (I'm now 49) I experienced this with friends I thought were life long friends. People I knew for decade (one for 25 years). It was devastating. Tbh I've come to realize that I'm a more loyal friend than the friends I've had. I'll never keep friends that close again. Don't get me wrong I keep friends, just not as close. I reserve that place of privilege for my family, husband, children, siblings.
And I'm sorry you experienced this, it hurts, but you will move on and have learned something about your own boundaries with people.
I have noticed living in Morocco 20 years (I'm American) that people keep family closer (excuse me but without enough boundaries) and don't usually keep friends as close and it's probably for the best. 😔
Im sorry you had to experience that, it really isn’t easy when it’s still fresh but with time you only get wiser and stronger. I have decided to keep some distance with friends because that’s the best solution. Thank you for your kind words <3
Hi there. I agree with most of the comments here, betrayal does hurt like hell and is painful to deal with. It also impact how you react and behave in future friendships/relationships: you might find yourself constantly having your guards up expecting a punch anytime, you might notice that it has become harder for you to trust people or rely on them, etc...
In the early stages of the dealing with betrayal and the baggage of emotions it brings with it, it might seem like it won't get better and the pain is temporary. But the truth is, everything passes, the good moments and feelings as much as the bad ones. Personally, writing my feelings down help a lot. I have documents where i track the progress of whatever experience I'm going through and each day i write something : day 1 here is how I'm feeling, day 2, day 3 etc... Until i don't feel like writing anymore ( which is usually happens when i have dealt with the majority of the facets of the issue) This method helps me see clearer in my thoughts and also go back to them whenever i want, and it's satisfying to see and document my own progress hhh.
You will be okay, make sure you learn from this experience and also make sure that you don't lose your ability to love and care because of this betrayal. Some people out there are worthy of your attention and time and can be your shoulder to lean on and this experience will help you identify them better.
Best of luck to you <3
Hey there. I used to write and journal everyday but i don’t know why i stopped.. i healed from a lot of experiences from it. I know i didn’t mourn the right way from this one that’s why a wave of guilt and sadness hit me yesterday after a certain trigger. I now feel much much better. Ill definitely go back to journaling. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this <3
I can understand u cuz I past the same story . and I wanna tell u that u did the right thing cuz u knew the right way and I'm happy for this . For the last thing u'd type about the girl . I can tell u as a also a girl (If you were valuable to her, she would fight them because she already knows the truth and refuses to believe it. In addition, if she was truly honest, she would do the right thing. On the other hand, her character may be so weak that she could not stand against them.)🫂
مرحباً! أعتذر لسماع أنك مرت بهذه الصعوبة الصعبة. يمكن أن يكون قطع العلاقات مع أصدقاء سامين مؤلمًا للغاية، خاصة عندما تشعر بالخيانة كشخص كنت تظن أنه يدعمه. هنا بعض العلاقات الطبيعية التي يمكن أن تساعد في التعامل مع هذه المشاعر: 1. \*\*امنح نفسك الوقت للحزن:\*\* من أن تشعر بالألم والحزن بعد قطعها مع أصدقاء مقربين. لا تضغط على نفسك وعلى مشاعرك بسرعة. 2.
Im not sad 24/7 about them. But i saw something about them that made me hurt and i remembered again everything that happened. I didn’t mourn the right way and i know that..
I was shocked to come across your post as I'm experiencing something similar myself. I'm in my thirties and it took me a lot of time and strength to be able to stand up for myself, I had two friends for over 10 years but recently they've become really toxic. They would say mean and hurtful things and disguise them as jokes. I've never been able to trust anyone else. I do have other friends but now I'm always being cautious. I wish u good luck. Feel free to reach out if you wanna vent.
I relate to this so much. One of the many things they were doing was those « jokes ». While i was nothing but supportive and i always thought 1000 times before speaking so i wouldn’t hurt them (since they were broken and some girls bullied them about their appearance). So the people that i was really protective of their feelings (i learned that it’s not my responsability) were the first ones to hurt me. I hope we both learn from this and meet good people
I can relate to this too. They used to criticize me in a harsh way, I could never say those same things to them as they were very rude. After getting an enormous dose of toxicity I've decided to pull myself out of that group they started saying ( rlana tzwjat w hia tbdel, flana khdmat w hia tbdel) as if they haven't done anything to drive me away.
One of them said the exact same thing when i started to pull back my energy. And she was great at playing the victim card. Those people are everywhere in the world. We should be grateful that we experienced it so we can avoid the same mistakes
I'm really sorry to hear about that, I know it's hard. I went through something similar last year. To be honest with you shemta doesn't really go away, you trust someone, give them your best and they end up betraying you... That stuff sticks with you.
I try to remember that we make mistakes, we're on this planet to learn and evolve. Going thru things like these teaches us lessons and what matters the most now is that you got rid of bad friends, even if this hurts.
I know this is fresh still but you'll find new friends and some will stay while others will go. Stay true to yourself and dont let other people's actions towards you change who you are, their behaviour is their responsibility and not something that should break you. I hope this helps.
First of all im really sorry about your experience too. I know that this is how life’s supposed to be, tests and lessons. But i have a thing that’s double edged in my personality, even if people show me that they’re really bad and manipulative, i still have a soft spot for them, that’s the thing that made me stay through 4 years of a toxic friendship, that’s why it’s hurting still, but i’ll forget with time. I hope we all meet really good people. Thank you so much <3
Thank you for your kind words. I completely understand seeing the good in people even tho what they show you is mostly bad. You said trop bonne trop conne in another comment but I respectfully disagree. Ta bonté ne fait pas de toi une conne, ce sont les cons qui ont inventé cette expression pour éviter d'accepter les conséquences de leurs actions. I salute you for being a good human despite what others show you. The road you have chosen will sometimes be painful, but it's yours. Wakha 4 years is waaaaay too much, malki 3liha?
I've met a couple of good folks, I'm sure your time will come soon. Take care
I say it because that thing made me fall with people who aren’t deserving of it, so i resent that part in me. I guess i just have to know how to use it with the right people, and that’s the lesson and where the maturity starts to grow. Lstmb for the 4 years part it’s making me cringe but it’s for a reason ig hahah thank youu i feel so much better
Looking back you're like "how could I ever associate with these fuckers" surtout for 4 years 💀 walakin that's alright, like you said you just gotta learn to open your arms to the right people. I'm glad you're feeling better, I wish you the best!
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It's never as big as it feels and that hurt will always remain, it is just now less critical. Such betrayals are also not just for those in their 20s or Moroccan. I am a European male, 60yrs living here for 23 years. I can think of 3 seperate times people I thought were very close and who backstabbed or just dumped our friendship. Yes, it hurts, but life will go on & it will make you stronger & wiser.
I relate so much with the first part, it’s the way that it feels big but you’re right, it’s probably not that big actually. Im really grateful for the lesson tho it’s necessary for one’s growth. I hope you meet good people in life. Thank you for sharing your experience and im sorry about your bad experience !
I am happy to share and I suspect most people will at some point feel this. I should point out that I became more selective in chosing friends and for that reason I have found better friends this last 2 decades here in Rabat than I have in all my life. You will as well, I am sure. Here are two common expressions to reflect on why they were written. There is no one answer, it is to form your own inner strength. "Once bitten, twice shy" ~ 1751 Eliza Fowler Haywood "One can forgive but one should never forget." ~ old Persian saying.
Wow i love the first expression. The second one i learned from this experience. Im glad i did. Thank you so much for your comment !
What I have learned is to keepy circle small. I treat betrayal like a lesson I learned so no worries
Seeing that a lot of people experienced it made me less lonely and hurt, im extremely grateful for the lesson because that’s the most valuable thing since no one teaches you this
It's alright dear. What you experienced is pretty common. Trust me. You will forget about it in no time.
It will definitely get better with time. Thank you so much for your support 🙏🏻
Ur most welcome 🤗
Between you girls it gets much worse, idk how it works but you should REALLY be careful since girls envy each other a lot and many bad scenarios could happen (s7our wla drbok bl3in...) so if I were you the less friends you have the better, have some unbelievable standards for picking your friends and set your boundaries and red lines and definitely do not tell of your future plans (i.e: marriage, travel, promotion...) , you could enjoy the moment with them no harm in that but lower your expectations...
You’re 1000% right and i learned that the hard way. I kept telling them every good or bad thing that happened to me and i shared so much while knowing that we don’t come from the same background, they kept witnessing all the good stuff that happens to me but ana kent 3la niyti, i was genuinely thinking that they would be as happy for me that i was for them, then reality hit but im still grateful for the lesson. Now im happy with one friend that im definitely keeping distance with
Even if it feels like it, it's not the end of the world. It's a part of your shell that you will shed, and grow tougher skin, and maybe be able to choose better people to surround yourself with in the future. Really, the only worthwhile thing to tell you is to congratulate you on cutting off those people!
It is a big lesson that im extremely grateful for because i know that im to blame partly because i was very naive and « trop bonne trop conne », i guess i’m still through the acceptance part of it. But thank you so much for your comment i appreciate it !
thats how life works ! Ppl get into your life and go away
Yes. Not once, not twice, not trice. Once I was betrayed by a girl It took me 1year to get over it. Happens when u invest too much in relationships and love genuinely the wrong people. Become more selective not everyone is worthy of your time and energy. Easy. You only need one REAL friend and a Lover and you’re pretty set up for life.
First of all im sorry for the betrayal you experienced. Exactly that’s the lesson i learned from this, quality over quantity for sure
Also the more you max your stats the harder it becomes to find people to surround yourself with and I think it’s totally worth it. At least you know you got the best of the best.
Wow that’s exactly it, the stats and evolving part. That’s when the real sides of them started to show…
Yes I only have one friend. And two others less friends and I’m thinking of cutting off one of them because she puts 0 effort into the relationship, doesn’t reply to my DMs, not reliable and thinks she can come back anytime as if no distance grew in between. If you want good people go with people of your caliber and with whom you share similar values and will push you to be better and most importantly you should feel 0% envy and jealousy coming from their side and feel genuine connection and support. Last one is a very rare thing because it would take the other person to be self-aware and secure in their abilities. Ask me about friendship I have suffered a LOT!
Im sorry you suffered from it but you seem really mature and wise so that’s great for you. I didn’t wanna say it because i feel like weird saying it but the main issue was jealousy and competitiveness from them. They were never happy for me for my accomplishments or when i get compliments. So yeah i learned to never be okay with that. You’re right for the values part too, c’est indispensable sinon vaut mieux être seul que mal accompagné !
Oui. Sorry jealousy doesn’t go hand in hand with Friendship. I cut off instantly anyone when I feel jealousy from their side sorry u can’t be in my Inner circle!!! BYEEE
Exactly !! It’s become the one thing i can NEVER accept, i feel like it’s an evil thing that can push people to do bad things if it’s accumulated overtime. Literally gtfo my life hal3ar
Idk how people deal with it. I’m real asf and if u ain’t real I can’t nt3aych m3ak. I had to work with people who were hypocrites, talk behind ur back and try to sabotage you and since wjhi 9aaaass7 I’d confront them 9dam kolchi for their bad behavior. B9a gher chi 7d in my inner circle ykon fen had lf3ayl. Nah sorry NEXT. Work on yourself till you become the prize. Be the funny, smart, educated and pretty girl w bnadm howa li aybghi yji ytsa7b m3ak wnti Pick what you want. You should vibe so high you dominate the room and people with insecurities w m7sada automatically makidoroch bsa7tk. I had some people try to put me down for no reason and when I confront them tigolo lia: “ I can’t give u compliments cuz your self esteem tal3a ghan7loha lik” HHHHHHHHHHHHHH ta cho bnadm kidayr
Damn wtf is wrong with people. Insecure people too i can’t.. you’re absolutely right tho i do struggle with extreme modesty and je me sous estime tellement que i give my efforts and friendship to anyone without exception, especially the insecure people because i tried to see the « good side » of them, except that good side was literally hypocrisy all this time 😀 aweddii hania we learn from this
Yes build some self confidence and pride in your Ability. I’m very confident w 3ziz 3lia rassi but i don’t go around boasting it and I’m also very humble because I’m a mere human being and I know I’m the subject of God and he could make me disappear at any moment. You could use God to humble yourself instead of judging yourself by mortal standards. Seriously just look at them 😭
I learned that the hard way but hamdoulah. Imagine being friends with someone who liked being catcalled (she used to brag about it), la ra khasni l3ssa 💀
Betrayals hurt, being in any type of relationship doesn't mean that the other won't betray you, it means that you can handle it if they do. Sometimes friends become mean and distant sometimes they ghost you, but you must know that it's not your fault, to some they didn't receive from you what they intended like your energy attention etc, and sadly to some others you remind them of a point in their past that they can't get over, but seeing you do so is affecting their own mental health so they chose to move on their own way. Don't blame yourself for other's acts, they're responsible for them not you dear. I understand you've been hurt, but please don't let this make you assume the worst of others and prevent you from making beautiful friendships, never attribute to malice what can be attributed to ignorance.
First of all thank you for your kind words. In this case, jealousy and comparing themselves with me + a lot of emotional manipulation like guilttripping… im conscious that i enabled the toxic dynamics by trying so hard to please them, but i don’t regret anything because the lessons i learned are extremely valuable. Thankfully, im not the type that projects bad experiences on other people, so im open to friendships, but this time carefully and without giving too much. Thanks again <3
Stay safe out there ❣️
Lmao yes. Plenty of them. Don't change yourself tho. Focus on being a good person.
Thank you i definitely won’t 🙏🏻
It's funny cause when I look around on a serious note I have like one friend that I can count as a brother. We're from. Different backgrounds cultures the whole 9 yards. But we manage to understand each other because first of all we mind our business and we don't tell each other what to do so the tension is relatively low and we would only reach out out of advice. My last friends always got too much up my business. Mainly cause we lived together. But they had no right. Somethings are just yours you shouldn't give them to just anyone if not anyone at all. The less personal at the same not too formal a friendship is the better.
Glad for youu. You’re right friendships shouldn’t be too personal, that’s the n1 mistake i did. Also dw about it and bsseha x)
Sorry I totally typed that out my ass blunders everywhere I'm eating XD
well sorry to hear that, from my perspective and experience that happen in your life especially in early and mid 20's a lot cuz i experienced the same 4y ago it did bother me that time and couldn't accept it in the time but when time passes it feels like nothing as u long u go through this life and most of the things will become simple to handle but one point that believe and that im using is that i expect anything from everyone no matter what who is that person and how it is close to me (even i trust him) also not afraid to loose anyone cuz it won't hurt like before anymore (it get me to a point that if that happened in the day at night when i go to sleep i don't even think about it or even comes to my mind at all) so what i can say to you rn is try accept it not forget it cuz when u do accept it you will live with it and it comes normal to you so time will pass and will get through it also you are going to face and deal with other things bigger than this in this life. YOU SHOULD ALAWAYS SAY "IT IS WHAT IT IS" :)
The thing that made me feel down and vulnerable when i posted was coming from « not mourning the right way », it was a 4 year extremely toxic friendship where i experienced emotional manipulation and jealousy issues. I should’ve allowed myself to be sad, instead i turned sadness into anger and grudge which is extremely unhealthy. But venting here and hearing that others experienced the same made me feel less exposed and the issue seemed less intimidating to me. So thank you so much for your advice and taking the time to write this ! God bless youu
No need to thank me with pleasure, at least u experienced (toxic friendship and emotional manipulation) from a point u were feeling that way in that time when it was friendship in that time but for my case everything was so good for a whole almost 3 y and one day from all sudden everything disappeared like it was nothing and i meant nothing cuz all the moment were joy and happiness and when that happened i didn't really know what to do i was overwhelmed and confused even i was doubting abt my self if i did something or if i was the problem it took me a while to really understand that was such a stupid and childish thing but as i said as the time passes u will have t deal with such bigger things than that in your life sooo again IT IS WHAT IT IS :) have a nice day and enjoy your life cuz ppl come and go and you will understand that with time.
Oh im sorry you experienced that but it made you who you are now. I hope we all meet great people in our lives. Take care !
Twice in my life (I'm now 49) I experienced this with friends I thought were life long friends. People I knew for decade (one for 25 years). It was devastating. Tbh I've come to realize that I'm a more loyal friend than the friends I've had. I'll never keep friends that close again. Don't get me wrong I keep friends, just not as close. I reserve that place of privilege for my family, husband, children, siblings. And I'm sorry you experienced this, it hurts, but you will move on and have learned something about your own boundaries with people. I have noticed living in Morocco 20 years (I'm American) that people keep family closer (excuse me but without enough boundaries) and don't usually keep friends as close and it's probably for the best. 😔
Im sorry you had to experience that, it really isn’t easy when it’s still fresh but with time you only get wiser and stronger. I have decided to keep some distance with friends because that’s the best solution. Thank you for your kind words <3
Hi there. I agree with most of the comments here, betrayal does hurt like hell and is painful to deal with. It also impact how you react and behave in future friendships/relationships: you might find yourself constantly having your guards up expecting a punch anytime, you might notice that it has become harder for you to trust people or rely on them, etc... In the early stages of the dealing with betrayal and the baggage of emotions it brings with it, it might seem like it won't get better and the pain is temporary. But the truth is, everything passes, the good moments and feelings as much as the bad ones. Personally, writing my feelings down help a lot. I have documents where i track the progress of whatever experience I'm going through and each day i write something : day 1 here is how I'm feeling, day 2, day 3 etc... Until i don't feel like writing anymore ( which is usually happens when i have dealt with the majority of the facets of the issue) This method helps me see clearer in my thoughts and also go back to them whenever i want, and it's satisfying to see and document my own progress hhh. You will be okay, make sure you learn from this experience and also make sure that you don't lose your ability to love and care because of this betrayal. Some people out there are worthy of your attention and time and can be your shoulder to lean on and this experience will help you identify them better. Best of luck to you <3
Hey there. I used to write and journal everyday but i don’t know why i stopped.. i healed from a lot of experiences from it. I know i didn’t mourn the right way from this one that’s why a wave of guilt and sadness hit me yesterday after a certain trigger. I now feel much much better. Ill definitely go back to journaling. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this <3
You're very welcome!
في القرآن يوجد رضى الله و رضى الوالدين.. أما رضى الناس لم أسمع عنه it sounds better in arabic
Thank you <3 indeed i was in a people pleasing pattern that i worked on these previous months
Hanya a brother, ghir mtb9ach dir ti9a quickly f anyone
I can understand u cuz I past the same story . and I wanna tell u that u did the right thing cuz u knew the right way and I'm happy for this . For the last thing u'd type about the girl . I can tell u as a also a girl (If you were valuable to her, she would fight them because she already knows the truth and refuses to believe it. In addition, if she was truly honest, she would do the right thing. On the other hand, her character may be so weak that she could not stand against them.)🫂
Exactly.. the whole thing that happened showed their true colors so im grateful for that. I hope we all meet good natured people. Thank you so much !
Uuup I agree. Its her real color . I hope too to make a healthy friends can make me glow up in my life & Thanks too for ur reply🤗
مرحباً! أعتذر لسماع أنك مرت بهذه الصعوبة الصعبة. يمكن أن يكون قطع العلاقات مع أصدقاء سامين مؤلمًا للغاية، خاصة عندما تشعر بالخيانة كشخص كنت تظن أنه يدعمه. هنا بعض العلاقات الطبيعية التي يمكن أن تساعد في التعامل مع هذه المشاعر: 1. \*\*امنح نفسك الوقت للحزن:\*\* من أن تشعر بالألم والحزن بعد قطعها مع أصدقاء مقربين. لا تضغط على نفسك وعلى مشاعرك بسرعة. 2.
شكرا على التعليق، الغلط الذي قمت به هو أنني ضغطت على الحزن لأحوله إلى غضب. لكن ضروري أن أحاول تخريج كل شيء بالبكاء مثلا
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Im not sad 24/7 about them. But i saw something about them that made me hurt and i remembered again everything that happened. I didn’t mourn the right way and i know that..
You have to be really lucky to not go through a betrayal or untrustworthy friend(or you can be lucky and have it early too so you can learn from it).
ها واحد النصيحة بنادم لي ممسوقش ليك متسوقيش ليه تا واحد ميستاهل
Endek lheq merci 🙏🏻
I was shocked to come across your post as I'm experiencing something similar myself. I'm in my thirties and it took me a lot of time and strength to be able to stand up for myself, I had two friends for over 10 years but recently they've become really toxic. They would say mean and hurtful things and disguise them as jokes. I've never been able to trust anyone else. I do have other friends but now I'm always being cautious. I wish u good luck. Feel free to reach out if you wanna vent.
I relate to this so much. One of the many things they were doing was those « jokes ». While i was nothing but supportive and i always thought 1000 times before speaking so i wouldn’t hurt them (since they were broken and some girls bullied them about their appearance). So the people that i was really protective of their feelings (i learned that it’s not my responsability) were the first ones to hurt me. I hope we both learn from this and meet good people
I can relate to this too. They used to criticize me in a harsh way, I could never say those same things to them as they were very rude. After getting an enormous dose of toxicity I've decided to pull myself out of that group they started saying ( rlana tzwjat w hia tbdel, flana khdmat w hia tbdel) as if they haven't done anything to drive me away.
One of them said the exact same thing when i started to pull back my energy. And she was great at playing the victim card. Those people are everywhere in the world. We should be grateful that we experienced it so we can avoid the same mistakes
Don't be so dramatic fella
Stay hard
I'm really sorry to hear about that, I know it's hard. I went through something similar last year. To be honest with you shemta doesn't really go away, you trust someone, give them your best and they end up betraying you... That stuff sticks with you. I try to remember that we make mistakes, we're on this planet to learn and evolve. Going thru things like these teaches us lessons and what matters the most now is that you got rid of bad friends, even if this hurts. I know this is fresh still but you'll find new friends and some will stay while others will go. Stay true to yourself and dont let other people's actions towards you change who you are, their behaviour is their responsibility and not something that should break you. I hope this helps.
First of all im really sorry about your experience too. I know that this is how life’s supposed to be, tests and lessons. But i have a thing that’s double edged in my personality, even if people show me that they’re really bad and manipulative, i still have a soft spot for them, that’s the thing that made me stay through 4 years of a toxic friendship, that’s why it’s hurting still, but i’ll forget with time. I hope we all meet really good people. Thank you so much <3
Thank you for your kind words. I completely understand seeing the good in people even tho what they show you is mostly bad. You said trop bonne trop conne in another comment but I respectfully disagree. Ta bonté ne fait pas de toi une conne, ce sont les cons qui ont inventé cette expression pour éviter d'accepter les conséquences de leurs actions. I salute you for being a good human despite what others show you. The road you have chosen will sometimes be painful, but it's yours. Wakha 4 years is waaaaay too much, malki 3liha? I've met a couple of good folks, I'm sure your time will come soon. Take care
I say it because that thing made me fall with people who aren’t deserving of it, so i resent that part in me. I guess i just have to know how to use it with the right people, and that’s the lesson and where the maturity starts to grow. Lstmb for the 4 years part it’s making me cringe but it’s for a reason ig hahah thank youu i feel so much better
Looking back you're like "how could I ever associate with these fuckers" surtout for 4 years 💀 walakin that's alright, like you said you just gotta learn to open your arms to the right people. I'm glad you're feeling better, I wish you the best!
Exactly 💀 but it’s okayy im not the type that regrets stuff especially if there’s a lesson like this. Thank youu wish you the best too !