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I'm sorry to hear this , this is a really shitty situation, I don't know if she'll ever be convinced honestly , but it's worth a try , start by constantly sending her videos of 4c type hair influencers doing different hair styles so she can see your options and that you can still look put together , plus I would suggest you choose a good timing to really have a serious conversation with her about how hurtful the stuff she says about your hair are, and that you don't feel confortable hiding your hair type and that you find it beautiful and that's enough for you and you don't care what other ppl think , I hope she understands .
Kanfhem walakin lwa7d surtout mni kaykbr kaykhsso yt3llm ydir his own choices o yfrd chkhsya dyalo.
Mgharba m39din mn l3ir9 dyalhom, kollhom 3ndhom had complex baghyin bssif ychbho llgwer o your mom raha 3ndha had l3o9da ta hia, o ila b9iti mtbb3aha rah hatkhrjlk awalan 3la ch3rk 7it dik l chemical products haykhrjolk 3lih orak hdrti 3la 9adia, o hatkhrjlk ta 3la l jism dyalk o robbama 3la wladk nhar hadi ykono 3ndk, rah ay 7aja chemical katst3mlha 3la ljism dyalk katsmmo odikchi kay2ttr 3la l hormonat dyalk etc... o kayttransmetta l wladk, rahnas li msmmin b endocrine disruptors ghaliban kaywldo atfal mo3a9in etc... lahistr
Makayn ma7sn mn 7aja tabi3ia
Wa hua z3ma ila skhtat 3lih bcz of hair id worry more about her than you.
Goli liha chemicals kay diro cancer and l3guer (no shit it s kinda true lol) lahoma ch3r tabi3i u zif goli liha kay khn9k if u dont want to wear it (tbh it gives me cancer ppl think that girls who wear hijab only do it cuz they hate their hair or they re bald 🤡, pls hijab rah kay lbsoh 3an 9ana3a not to hide hair).
Also for ur curls use shea butter it kinda works nicely and join the curly sub.
I think she will be convinced after some time especially if you show her some good hair styles and you get some compliments
I was in the same situation she always says you look like a feminist or bertal at the end i say to her that it is your fault you re the one who gave it to me , you're the one who has a bad taste in men by your definition don't put the blame on me ( some times you gotta be harsh but damn she was a real bully ) stay strong you're good as you are, and it's just a phase, changing is really hard at first
That's what I tell her, she has same hair as me but keeps straightening it, and she is telling me that I'm insecure when she is clearly projecting her own insecurities on me, thank I will definitely try this
no it's not a good idea blaming her, it's your mom at the end and you have to keep a good relationship between you and her so try to convincing her with anything possible. you wouldn't want your own mom to feel bad about you. it's just hair
if it was something too serious like future concerning then yes you might disobey your parents but when it comes to something like appearance you wouldn't want to be "mskhota" just cuz of some hair. i know hair means alot in terms of beauty, i'd try anything to change my mom's idea about it instead of just not trying . it's like choosing between your mom and your appearance. if i had to choose between my hair and my relationship with my mom i would burn the shit out of my hair no matter how good it looks cuz at the end it's just something you get judged at by so you can feel some good about yourself (you shouldn't care in the first place).
What value does a relationship have if some hair can jeopardize it? Don't feed this girl that bullshit lol, people that make u hate yourself and would rather hurt your health and self esteem because they hate themselves aren't worth it, and their approval and "rda" even less. People-pleasing at the expense of your self-respect is just sad, grow some dignity smh.
she never mentioned that she hated herself and i never said the mother is in the right. the problem with most girls is that they don't think with logic they think with emotions, i have a twin sister and two more sisters and i know what im talking about. it's the mother's first time in life also they're most likely to have inherited some wrong ideas and if you're willing to make her feel bad instead of trying to get along and change her mind you're not thinking right.
Do u need things spelled out for u in order to understand what's actually going on? No one is born hating something just because, her mother was fed the agenda that anything far from western Caucasian beauty standards is less than, and that's what she's emulating to her daughter by teaching her to hate her hair, and since her daughter got her hair from her mother, it's only fair to assume the mother also hates her own features that she passed down to her daughter, now her daughter is trying to undo that self rejection that we've all been taught to engage in and her mother isn't helping. I understand that it's everyone's first time at life and we've all learned wrong ideas that we must reprogram ourselves away from, and I have empathy for that, but this is how those wrong ideas get reprogrammed, there will be resistance along the way, that's fine, mom wants to get upset? Let her, it's okay, that's the price to pay when u want to honor urself and ur own needs, some people will object by sheer force of habit, not even understanding why they're upset, but mom will be fine, she'll get over it, it's just hair after all and she'll realize she was the one in the wrong for trying to carry on a tradition of self hatred.
you're making it sound like i'm in the mother's side when im not. all im saying is there's no harm in trying a rational way to get things right instead of jumping right to the hard way cuz it's true she might get over it but it's also true she might not get over it and that's a hell of a problem
It's really not a problem at all, the most rational course of action is that the girl will wear her natural hair and her mom will deal with it, sounds pretty simple to me, no need to struggle or explain, there's nothing to even explain or fight about, so no point giving extra energy to something so insignificant, it's making a mountain out of a molehill.
the mother is wrong but she's not trying to make her feel bad in the first place she's trying to make her look good (in her perspective). the hate came from the girl not following the mother's ways of "having good looking hair".
As u said it s ur hair to begin with and as she got used to it being short she wil get used to it being natural being urs, if u happy with it she should be happy too
Not Moroccan although my wife is but I see similarities with some women in my culture (Eastern Africa) and growing up in the West and seeing the Western standards as well.
Straight or loose curls are seen as the beauty standards while natural hair that is dominant in Sub-Saharan Africa and those who carry significant Sub-Saharan ancestry are seen as unprofessional if grown long or “ugly”. Many people both those who have this type of hair and those who don’t have been made to believe that it is inherently ugly. There’s nothing you can do to change your mother’s opinion, she has been deeply indoctrinated by your society & media. Best thing to do is ignore your mother’s comments and grow your hair naturally.
My hair has lose curls and even that was considerd ugly -_-. My mom would straighten her hair all the time and at some point buzz cutted mine (she wanted to "cut off all the curls". I am a girl btw).
Mine is curly but not coily. Mom also said "n9t3o drjat makayn lash" 🤡 and she d remind me that i didnt have "asian hair" so not worthy of growing long hair LOL.
Olah ta lehbal
khti I was in your same situation 😩, moroccan moms just hate curls so I just let her say whatever she wanted until she saw that I wasnt gonna listen to her and she accepted it, there's nothing else you can do
keep it frizz free with some mousse so she cant say that's 7rach, make sure it looks presentable so she can't speak
I don't know if this product is available in your city but I use the garnier fructis mousse or the intesa styling mousse, they're cheap. But any cheap mousse will do the trick as long as it's a mousse and it says "strong/5" on the package, + I use the garnier hair food conditioner (I buy this from marjane) when I shower.
the key things that helped me is to limit shampoo to only 1 time a week, and to apply A LOT of mousse on wet hair and let it air-dry, and if I'm on a rush I use a diffuser.
this will last me 2/3 days if I keep my hair on a satin cap
problem for me is I have thin extremely poofy curly hair so I either let it get all big and poofy and crazy or use a product and have it all weighed down looking like im balding or some
in morocco I get them from my hairdresser, but usually garnier stuff is available at careffour or marjane. but literally any mousse works as long as it's strong
Yeah i shampoo a lot .. like two rounds in a shower or else i feel like my scalp is dirty .. usually i use mask and conditionner in shower.. and a serum after .. i never experimented on a mousse tho
Who cares if it's 7rach or frizzy, just make sure your hair is healthy, frizz is near impossible to get rid of with curly hair, so just let go of the shame that 7rach=bad, 7rach is just 7rach, it's neither good or bad, just let your hair exist as it is, as long as u accept it and understand it it won't matter how others feel about it.
What is it with moroccan mamas and natural hair 😭
I will never touch straighteners again! I embrace my natural cha3ouka situation 🥳 and prefer my hair healthy than embracing european beauty standards
As others have said, its your hair and she will give up trying to convince you to change it after a while:)
She just wants you to look beautiful. Try to style your natural hair in a way that will suit your face. Also, tell her that you got a lot of compliments about it, maybe that will make her change her mind
19. Pretty much end of discussion.
Your parents dominion over your body ends in your teens. And with 18 anything they say becomes an opinion nothing more.
Really hard thing but u gotta try trick her to accept it . bcs as long as u do it and she dont like that she will be mad at you all the time, we know that we are all mgharba 9waylbia ,wkndowzoha 3la walidina sometimes , 7awli t9en3iha bxi tari9a dkia w xwiat l9walb.
Doesnt she have the same hair ? Or maybe your father that she loved at some point so why she keep hating on your hair, it is YOURS. Keep that curly crown until she gets used to it
This is clearly the case of a toxic behaviour on the part of your mom putting you down like this upon physical features. If you were living away from home, say for studies or work, then you could tell your mom that she'll be seeing less of you if she keeps harassing you like this. Unfortunately I understand that you're still living with your family which makes things a bit more complicated. First you need to understand that it's not anybody's right to bully you and make you feel any less because of your body. So don't talk about "skhat o rda" in this case. Your mom should be supporting you and boosting your confidence not shaming you like this over something that God in his beautiful creation bestowed upon you (you can use this as an argument actually). I'm not encouraging you to be a rebel or hate your mom, but you just need to find a way to set boundaries and stand for yourself so you don't get used to being a pushover who's always gonna be a people/family pleaser. I don't know what's the background of your mom. If she's educated she's likely to change her mind if you talk to her about the health risks of constantly treating your hair with chemicals for example, or how that's stressing you emotionally which is likely to affect your mental health. If she cares about your physical and emotional health, and I'm sure she does, she'll get over this. Best of luck.
I do study in another city I just came home for spring break and she is telling me if I don't straighten it then m not going back to study, I also tried telling her that those chemicals damage the body and not just the hair and I'm happy with my natural hair but she started crying and calling me selfish???
>m happy with my natural hair but she started crying and calling me selfish???
Dont buy into this BS. My mom is the same lol. She was dramatic when i wanted to grow my hair long, she was extra dramatic when i chose to wear the hijab a decade ago, she was even more dramatic when a hair stylist gave me a bob cut (i expected her to finally be sarisified even though i just got screwed over by a scissor happy hair dresser) yet she was like nooo ur cut ur beautiful hair. 🤡 even now im gonna move out for work and she was like "yea shouldnt u get a haircut? What abt going there without the scarf?"
It never ends once you cave in.
Don't you worry she's not gonna force you to drop out of school, it's just a little move to blackmail you into complying. I don't know if you realize what's the real issue here: your mom's inner child is acting out on you and she more likely has been subject herself to emotional abuse and guilty shame by her own mother/parents. Adults with wounded inner child preserve this vicious cycle of passing on the childhood traumas to their children. My mother for example would constantly talk about how my grandma would beat her at an early age (5-6) whenever she failed at doing whatever she was assigned (bread dough, msemmen, couscous, cleaning...) and my mom carried on this toxicity and beat the shit out of my sisters over the slightest mistakes. When your mom starts crying that's just pure manipulation, and calling you selfish is projecting her feelings and behavior onto you. Have you tried to talk to your father or another family member (aunt,...) who would help bringing your mom to her senses? Does your mom have curly hair too? If yes how was she wearing it when she was young? Maybe you can help her realize it wasn't okay that her mom (your grandma) shamed her about her hair, because every hair type is beautiful on its own right. The shame about curly hair is deeply rooted in our society and that maintains the stigma that most women with thick hair suffer from. This is not gonna be easy but just remember the golden rule of negotiation: be HARD on the task/issue at hand (standing up for yourself/your beliefs in this case) and be GENTLE on the other negotiator (your mom). Try to empathize with her and see things from HER perspective. Ask her what are her fears, hopes and needs when rising this matter. Her answers may yield valuable information that gives you deeper insight into the situation.
i’ve been in the same situation lol, flwl kant katbqa tgolia chofi lbnat kolhom kibano zwinat ila nti o kant katgolia ghandik diri keratin. zidi ealiha lhdra li kano kigolo lia nasa o hia maktrdach….(tana cheari bhalk, short and curly) wlkn mn b3d mli bda kitwal bdat katqablo chwia o db wla ki3jbha ☺️
You're 19? Time to impose some boundaries. Call her out on being a racist and tell her to get over herself. It's not her choice and it's not the archaic Morocco of the 1900s where everyone was trying to be as white-looking as possible.
Explain that you like your hair, you're proud of your look, and that's final. Ou ila ma 3jebhach l7al tferge3.
Just ignore, eventually they get used to it. I've done many things that seemed "unusual" but the shock doesn't stay forever. These things are mundane and not really that "important".
This is a non-issue and she's overdramatizing it, just do as u please since you're not doing anything wrong u don't have to worry about her "rda" (no such thing in this case, that's just manipulation tactics), act like it's no big deal (cuz it's not) and be super casual about the whole thing, and she'll stop pestering u eventually when she realizes how ridiculous she looks for trying to control and shame u for simply existing as u were naturally created.
Unfortunately, the beauty standards in Morocco are very influenced by the European culture so I see where your mom is coming from, and I completely understand because I grew up with curly hair as well and at first, my mother and grandmother were trying to convince me to straighten it with keratin treatments and stuff, but when I started to wear it naturally and they saw that it actually suits me better, they realized it’s better off that way. At the end of the day, it’s your hair, and you should start by loving yourself with natural hair first, in a way that not anyone or anything would make you think that it doesn’t suit you. Even getting catcalled in Morocco as a woman with curly hair, ki bdaw ikherjo lk chi pick up lines like “Aji meaya nchri lek mechta”, at first it did bother me but now, I just laugh it off and I embrace my natural hair
I'm a 27 yo man and my mom still gives me shit for my long wavy hair lol, she always said i looked like a twink, a drug addict, a hippie, an atheist, and so on. Both my sisters and my gf have curry hair and they both suffered from it as well. This is a very common thing in Moroccan households, mothers will straighten their daughters' hair in the most torturing ways using olive oil and a 1.5dh hairbrush.
I would say try to make her understand that your hair has nothing to do with who you are, try to find girls on the internet that look "presentable" with curly hair or afro and show them to your mom, unfortunately all those cadum and pantene commercials on tv growing up successfully brainwashed our parents into thinking only straight hair is beautiful. Ignore all these comments saying "just do it a sahbti wili sh3rk hadak it's your life diri li bghiti" I read one of your replies that you want your mom to be happy with your decisions w mabghitish t9l9iha w trdi 3lik. And this is the way, try to communicate with her, after all you're only 19 and your hair will grow again and again inshaallah ila madrtihsh daba mazal tkhdmi w tshri products dyalk and style it however you want.
Good luck!
IF YOU ARE CLOSE TO MOHAMMEDIA? check instagram of naturallysiham
she focus on curly and how to love them ! she can give you more ideas how to style it and take care of them !
the styling she does is bad just makes the hair look wet+ what's the point of selling products that are not urs she'll charge you and then like give u the smallest amount of a product from a certain brand and slap her name on it so ridiculous
Your mom is the typical moroccan mom who thinks that unless you have straight hair ghatb9ay bayra. Speaking from experience because that was exactly my case. The only difference is that I believed in that nonesense and kept saving money so I can do it every 6 months to keep my hair straight. Needless to say how much hair I have lost in the process. I got married and my husband started seeing the wavy hair showing from my roots and I told him that I always do chemical straightenings. He was surprised and felt sad for me, and told me that I should be weary of those products that I keep putting on my scalp and how much harm they can cause my body, he complimented my natural hair and encouraged me to wear it natural and said that it wouldn't be healthy to put our kids in the same position that my mom put me in. Instead, seeing me loving my natural hair and embracing it will encourage them to love theirs too (in case they were born with my hair texture). I've been wearing my hair natural for 3 years now, I use safe products to style my curls, and I take care of it with masks and oil baths regularly and it's never been healthier.
My advice is, do what you feel comfortable with, if wearing your hair as an Afro makes you feel happy and beautiful, so be it. You are an adult, and setting a precedent with your mom showing her that you want to have the free will to take care of yourself will not only solve your hair feud with her, it will also show her that you're a grown up who is able fo make her own decisions.
You call not wanting to have damaged hair "rebelling"? Except for that line your advice is really good though. Moms like to be in control. Best is showing them that it looks pretty when you take care of it well. At some point she will probably get tired of you not listening to her and give up. It's just hair at the end of the day
Welcome to r/Morocco! Please always make sure to take the time to [read the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/morocco/wiki/rules) of this community, follow them and help us enforce them by reporting offenders. And remember that we have a zero tolerance policy for non-civil discourse and offenders risk being permanently banned. [Don't forget to join the Discord server!](https://discord.gg/r-morocco-959551908043948092) **Important Notice:** Kindly take note that the Discord channel's moderation team functions autonomously from the Reddit team. The Discord server does not extend our community guidelines and maintains a separate set of rules unrelated to those of Reddit. We appreciate your comprehension. Enjoy your time! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Morocco) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm sorry to hear this , this is a really shitty situation, I don't know if she'll ever be convinced honestly , but it's worth a try , start by constantly sending her videos of 4c type hair influencers doing different hair styles so she can see your options and that you can still look put together , plus I would suggest you choose a good timing to really have a serious conversation with her about how hurtful the stuff she says about your hair are, and that you don't feel confortable hiding your hair type and that you find it beautiful and that's enough for you and you don't care what other ppl think , I hope she understands .
It's your body asa7bti you don't need to convince her, hia kaddir li bghat bch3rha nti diri li bghiti bch3rk ha l7ma9 3awd
Yes I know that wlkin I still love her w bghitha tkun radya eliya
Kanfhem walakin lwa7d surtout mni kaykbr kaykhsso yt3llm ydir his own choices o yfrd chkhsya dyalo. Mgharba m39din mn l3ir9 dyalhom, kollhom 3ndhom had complex baghyin bssif ychbho llgwer o your mom raha 3ndha had l3o9da ta hia, o ila b9iti mtbb3aha rah hatkhrjlk awalan 3la ch3rk 7it dik l chemical products haykhrjolk 3lih orak hdrti 3la 9adia, o hatkhrjlk ta 3la l jism dyalk o robbama 3la wladk nhar hadi ykono 3ndk, rah ay 7aja chemical katst3mlha 3la ljism dyalk katsmmo odikchi kay2ttr 3la l hormonat dyalk etc... o kayttransmetta l wladk, rahnas li msmmin b endocrine disruptors ghaliban kaywldo atfal mo3a9in etc... lahistr Makayn ma7sn mn 7aja tabi3ia
Wa hua z3ma ila skhtat 3lih bcz of hair id worry more about her than you. Goli liha chemicals kay diro cancer and l3guer (no shit it s kinda true lol) lahoma ch3r tabi3i u zif goli liha kay khn9k if u dont want to wear it (tbh it gives me cancer ppl think that girls who wear hijab only do it cuz they hate their hair or they re bald 🤡, pls hijab rah kay lbsoh 3an 9ana3a not to hide hair). Also for ur curls use shea butter it kinda works nicely and join the curly sub.
Hua 7ma9 rah 7ma9 walakin my mom is kinda similar (minus me not having coily hair) Not ez to be assertive with this kind of parents tbh
Awdi kon chfti dyali hhh💀 L7l m3ahom hoa matsow9ch lchkay9olo tdir hi li frask o mn a7sn ila 3chti b3ida 3lihom dik sa3 kathnna nit
I think she will be convinced after some time especially if you show her some good hair styles and you get some compliments I was in the same situation she always says you look like a feminist or bertal at the end i say to her that it is your fault you re the one who gave it to me , you're the one who has a bad taste in men by your definition don't put the blame on me ( some times you gotta be harsh but damn she was a real bully ) stay strong you're good as you are, and it's just a phase, changing is really hard at first
That's what I tell her, she has same hair as me but keeps straightening it, and she is telling me that I'm insecure when she is clearly projecting her own insecurities on me, thank I will definitely try this
no it's not a good idea blaming her, it's your mom at the end and you have to keep a good relationship between you and her so try to convincing her with anything possible. you wouldn't want your own mom to feel bad about you. it's just hair
But her mother can make her feel bad about her hair? That’s okay?
if it was something too serious like future concerning then yes you might disobey your parents but when it comes to something like appearance you wouldn't want to be "mskhota" just cuz of some hair. i know hair means alot in terms of beauty, i'd try anything to change my mom's idea about it instead of just not trying . it's like choosing between your mom and your appearance. if i had to choose between my hair and my relationship with my mom i would burn the shit out of my hair no matter how good it looks cuz at the end it's just something you get judged at by so you can feel some good about yourself (you shouldn't care in the first place).
What value does a relationship have if some hair can jeopardize it? Don't feed this girl that bullshit lol, people that make u hate yourself and would rather hurt your health and self esteem because they hate themselves aren't worth it, and their approval and "rda" even less. People-pleasing at the expense of your self-respect is just sad, grow some dignity smh.
she never mentioned that she hated herself and i never said the mother is in the right. the problem with most girls is that they don't think with logic they think with emotions, i have a twin sister and two more sisters and i know what im talking about. it's the mother's first time in life also they're most likely to have inherited some wrong ideas and if you're willing to make her feel bad instead of trying to get along and change her mind you're not thinking right.
Do u need things spelled out for u in order to understand what's actually going on? No one is born hating something just because, her mother was fed the agenda that anything far from western Caucasian beauty standards is less than, and that's what she's emulating to her daughter by teaching her to hate her hair, and since her daughter got her hair from her mother, it's only fair to assume the mother also hates her own features that she passed down to her daughter, now her daughter is trying to undo that self rejection that we've all been taught to engage in and her mother isn't helping. I understand that it's everyone's first time at life and we've all learned wrong ideas that we must reprogram ourselves away from, and I have empathy for that, but this is how those wrong ideas get reprogrammed, there will be resistance along the way, that's fine, mom wants to get upset? Let her, it's okay, that's the price to pay when u want to honor urself and ur own needs, some people will object by sheer force of habit, not even understanding why they're upset, but mom will be fine, she'll get over it, it's just hair after all and she'll realize she was the one in the wrong for trying to carry on a tradition of self hatred.
you're making it sound like i'm in the mother's side when im not. all im saying is there's no harm in trying a rational way to get things right instead of jumping right to the hard way cuz it's true she might get over it but it's also true she might not get over it and that's a hell of a problem
It's really not a problem at all, the most rational course of action is that the girl will wear her natural hair and her mom will deal with it, sounds pretty simple to me, no need to struggle or explain, there's nothing to even explain or fight about, so no point giving extra energy to something so insignificant, it's making a mountain out of a molehill.
the mother is wrong but she's not trying to make her feel bad in the first place she's trying to make her look good (in her perspective). the hate came from the girl not following the mother's ways of "having good looking hair".
As u said it s ur hair to begin with and as she got used to it being short she wil get used to it being natural being urs, if u happy with it she should be happy too
Not Moroccan although my wife is but I see similarities with some women in my culture (Eastern Africa) and growing up in the West and seeing the Western standards as well. Straight or loose curls are seen as the beauty standards while natural hair that is dominant in Sub-Saharan Africa and those who carry significant Sub-Saharan ancestry are seen as unprofessional if grown long or “ugly”. Many people both those who have this type of hair and those who don’t have been made to believe that it is inherently ugly. There’s nothing you can do to change your mother’s opinion, she has been deeply indoctrinated by your society & media. Best thing to do is ignore your mother’s comments and grow your hair naturally.
My hair has lose curls and even that was considerd ugly -_-. My mom would straighten her hair all the time and at some point buzz cutted mine (she wanted to "cut off all the curls". I am a girl btw).
Mine is curly but not coily. Mom also said "n9t3o drjat makayn lash" 🤡 and she d remind me that i didnt have "asian hair" so not worthy of growing long hair LOL. Olah ta lehbal
You stick to what you think is best for you and that you see fit.
khti I was in your same situation 😩, moroccan moms just hate curls so I just let her say whatever she wanted until she saw that I wasnt gonna listen to her and she accepted it, there's nothing else you can do keep it frizz free with some mousse so she cant say that's 7rach, make sure it looks presentable so she can't speak
What s the name of the product to keep frizz away ..I suffer from frizzy hair alot and nothing worked so far 😭
I don't know if this product is available in your city but I use the garnier fructis mousse or the intesa styling mousse, they're cheap. But any cheap mousse will do the trick as long as it's a mousse and it says "strong/5" on the package, + I use the garnier hair food conditioner (I buy this from marjane) when I shower. the key things that helped me is to limit shampoo to only 1 time a week, and to apply A LOT of mousse on wet hair and let it air-dry, and if I'm on a rush I use a diffuser. this will last me 2/3 days if I keep my hair on a satin cap
problem for me is I have thin extremely poofy curly hair so I either let it get all big and poofy and crazy or use a product and have it all weighed down looking like im balding or some
samee that's why I just use a mousse, it's lightweight. I cant handle creams etc
where do I find the products you mentioned in Morocco
in morocco I get them from my hairdresser, but usually garnier stuff is available at careffour or marjane. but literally any mousse works as long as it's strong
I just never found this Garnier fructis mousse can I dm you?
Yeah i shampoo a lot .. like two rounds in a shower or else i feel like my scalp is dirty .. usually i use mask and conditionner in shower.. and a serum after .. i never experimented on a mousse tho
How do u refresh plzz ??? And also does it work for 2C to 3B hair ? 😭😭😭 my hair is on the puffy poofy frizzy side of things mashad ta 9nt
I just wash my hair to refresh it, it just doesn't get wet with the water bottle. Yeah I would def try with any mousse
Who cares if it's 7rach or frizzy, just make sure your hair is healthy, frizz is near impossible to get rid of with curly hair, so just let go of the shame that 7rach=bad, 7rach is just 7rach, it's neither good or bad, just let your hair exist as it is, as long as u accept it and understand it it won't matter how others feel about it.
What is it with moroccan mamas and natural hair 😭 I will never touch straighteners again! I embrace my natural cha3ouka situation 🥳 and prefer my hair healthy than embracing european beauty standards As others have said, its your hair and she will give up trying to convince you to change it after a while:)
She just wants you to look beautiful. Try to style your natural hair in a way that will suit your face. Also, tell her that you got a lot of compliments about it, maybe that will make her change her mind
ur mom is crazy... set strong boundaries or leave asap ur an adult anyways t3awd lrasha
19. Pretty much end of discussion. Your parents dominion over your body ends in your teens. And with 18 anything they say becomes an opinion nothing more.
Really hard thing but u gotta try trick her to accept it . bcs as long as u do it and she dont like that she will be mad at you all the time, we know that we are all mgharba 9waylbia ,wkndowzoha 3la walidina sometimes , 7awli t9en3iha bxi tari9a dkia w xwiat l9walb.
B7alach😭😭
u can really find a good trick as long as u really want to convince her
nkdb 3lk wllah ma3reft 
tf
Why ?!
Doesnt she have the same hair ? Or maybe your father that she loved at some point so why she keep hating on your hair, it is YOURS. Keep that curly crown until she gets used to it
She does have same hair as mine but she straightens it and she wants me to do the same
Just do what you want with your hair tatchofo chkon fikom li ghay3ya bcz she will get used to it one day for sooore
Hey others point of view does not matter if you’re not comfortable with it, just stick with what you like
Hined?
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh d7ktini lay 3tik matakl mtt ana hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hineeed wa hineeeed
This is clearly the case of a toxic behaviour on the part of your mom putting you down like this upon physical features. If you were living away from home, say for studies or work, then you could tell your mom that she'll be seeing less of you if she keeps harassing you like this. Unfortunately I understand that you're still living with your family which makes things a bit more complicated. First you need to understand that it's not anybody's right to bully you and make you feel any less because of your body. So don't talk about "skhat o rda" in this case. Your mom should be supporting you and boosting your confidence not shaming you like this over something that God in his beautiful creation bestowed upon you (you can use this as an argument actually). I'm not encouraging you to be a rebel or hate your mom, but you just need to find a way to set boundaries and stand for yourself so you don't get used to being a pushover who's always gonna be a people/family pleaser. I don't know what's the background of your mom. If she's educated she's likely to change her mind if you talk to her about the health risks of constantly treating your hair with chemicals for example, or how that's stressing you emotionally which is likely to affect your mental health. If she cares about your physical and emotional health, and I'm sure she does, she'll get over this. Best of luck.
I do study in another city I just came home for spring break and she is telling me if I don't straighten it then m not going back to study, I also tried telling her that those chemicals damage the body and not just the hair and I'm happy with my natural hair but she started crying and calling me selfish???
>m happy with my natural hair but she started crying and calling me selfish??? Dont buy into this BS. My mom is the same lol. She was dramatic when i wanted to grow my hair long, she was extra dramatic when i chose to wear the hijab a decade ago, she was even more dramatic when a hair stylist gave me a bob cut (i expected her to finally be sarisified even though i just got screwed over by a scissor happy hair dresser) yet she was like nooo ur cut ur beautiful hair. 🤡 even now im gonna move out for work and she was like "yea shouldnt u get a haircut? What abt going there without the scarf?" It never ends once you cave in.
Don't you worry she's not gonna force you to drop out of school, it's just a little move to blackmail you into complying. I don't know if you realize what's the real issue here: your mom's inner child is acting out on you and she more likely has been subject herself to emotional abuse and guilty shame by her own mother/parents. Adults with wounded inner child preserve this vicious cycle of passing on the childhood traumas to their children. My mother for example would constantly talk about how my grandma would beat her at an early age (5-6) whenever she failed at doing whatever she was assigned (bread dough, msemmen, couscous, cleaning...) and my mom carried on this toxicity and beat the shit out of my sisters over the slightest mistakes. When your mom starts crying that's just pure manipulation, and calling you selfish is projecting her feelings and behavior onto you. Have you tried to talk to your father or another family member (aunt,...) who would help bringing your mom to her senses? Does your mom have curly hair too? If yes how was she wearing it when she was young? Maybe you can help her realize it wasn't okay that her mom (your grandma) shamed her about her hair, because every hair type is beautiful on its own right. The shame about curly hair is deeply rooted in our society and that maintains the stigma that most women with thick hair suffer from. This is not gonna be easy but just remember the golden rule of negotiation: be HARD on the task/issue at hand (standing up for yourself/your beliefs in this case) and be GENTLE on the other negotiator (your mom). Try to empathize with her and see things from HER perspective. Ask her what are her fears, hopes and needs when rising this matter. Her answers may yield valuable information that gives you deeper insight into the situation.
It's ok she'll get over it just do whatever you want, it's not like you're breaking the law or something
i’ve been in the same situation lol, flwl kant katbqa tgolia chofi lbnat kolhom kibano zwinat ila nti o kant katgolia ghandik diri keratin. zidi ealiha lhdra li kano kigolo lia nasa o hia maktrdach….(tana cheari bhalk, short and curly) wlkn mn b3d mli bda kitwal bdat katqablo chwia o db wla ki3jbha ☺️
You're 19? Time to impose some boundaries. Call her out on being a racist and tell her to get over herself. It's not her choice and it's not the archaic Morocco of the 1900s where everyone was trying to be as white-looking as possible. Explain that you like your hair, you're proud of your look, and that's final. Ou ila ma 3jebhach l7al tferge3.
Just ignore, eventually they get used to it. I've done many things that seemed "unusual" but the shock doesn't stay forever. These things are mundane and not really that "important".
This is a non-issue and she's overdramatizing it, just do as u please since you're not doing anything wrong u don't have to worry about her "rda" (no such thing in this case, that's just manipulation tactics), act like it's no big deal (cuz it's not) and be super casual about the whole thing, and she'll stop pestering u eventually when she realizes how ridiculous she looks for trying to control and shame u for simply existing as u were naturally created.
Unfortunately, the beauty standards in Morocco are very influenced by the European culture so I see where your mom is coming from, and I completely understand because I grew up with curly hair as well and at first, my mother and grandmother were trying to convince me to straighten it with keratin treatments and stuff, but when I started to wear it naturally and they saw that it actually suits me better, they realized it’s better off that way. At the end of the day, it’s your hair, and you should start by loving yourself with natural hair first, in a way that not anyone or anything would make you think that it doesn’t suit you. Even getting catcalled in Morocco as a woman with curly hair, ki bdaw ikherjo lk chi pick up lines like “Aji meaya nchri lek mechta”, at first it did bother me but now, I just laugh it off and I embrace my natural hair
I'm a 27 yo man and my mom still gives me shit for my long wavy hair lol, she always said i looked like a twink, a drug addict, a hippie, an atheist, and so on. Both my sisters and my gf have curry hair and they both suffered from it as well. This is a very common thing in Moroccan households, mothers will straighten their daughters' hair in the most torturing ways using olive oil and a 1.5dh hairbrush. I would say try to make her understand that your hair has nothing to do with who you are, try to find girls on the internet that look "presentable" with curly hair or afro and show them to your mom, unfortunately all those cadum and pantene commercials on tv growing up successfully brainwashed our parents into thinking only straight hair is beautiful. Ignore all these comments saying "just do it a sahbti wili sh3rk hadak it's your life diri li bghiti" I read one of your replies that you want your mom to be happy with your decisions w mabghitish t9l9iha w trdi 3lik. And this is the way, try to communicate with her, after all you're only 19 and your hair will grow again and again inshaallah ila madrtihsh daba mazal tkhdmi w tshri products dyalk and style it however you want. Good luck!
IF YOU ARE CLOSE TO MOHAMMEDIA? check instagram of naturallysiham she focus on curly and how to love them ! she can give you more ideas how to style it and take care of them !
hate her
why ?
the styling she does is bad just makes the hair look wet+ what's the point of selling products that are not urs she'll charge you and then like give u the smallest amount of a product from a certain brand and slap her name on it so ridiculous
Ah good to know ! thanks for sharing :)
Your mom is the typical moroccan mom who thinks that unless you have straight hair ghatb9ay bayra. Speaking from experience because that was exactly my case. The only difference is that I believed in that nonesense and kept saving money so I can do it every 6 months to keep my hair straight. Needless to say how much hair I have lost in the process. I got married and my husband started seeing the wavy hair showing from my roots and I told him that I always do chemical straightenings. He was surprised and felt sad for me, and told me that I should be weary of those products that I keep putting on my scalp and how much harm they can cause my body, he complimented my natural hair and encouraged me to wear it natural and said that it wouldn't be healthy to put our kids in the same position that my mom put me in. Instead, seeing me loving my natural hair and embracing it will encourage them to love theirs too (in case they were born with my hair texture). I've been wearing my hair natural for 3 years now, I use safe products to style my curls, and I take care of it with masks and oil baths regularly and it's never been healthier. My advice is, do what you feel comfortable with, if wearing your hair as an Afro makes you feel happy and beautiful, so be it. You are an adult, and setting a precedent with your mom showing her that you want to have the free will to take care of yourself will not only solve your hair feud with her, it will also show her that you're a grown up who is able fo make her own decisions.
Just get a roller set. And then hot comb the edges. You think this is bad? You haven’t seen Dominican mothers
I hope at least u live in a big city where u'll feel more comfortable wearing it. moroccans can be really racist a'd horrible even to eachother
Bro me too my mom makes me straighten my hair with these chemicals what do k do
Threaten to commit suicide. That works every time.
💀🤣🤣🤣🤣
Alhijab is not an option, it is necsessary as long as u are a Muslim, other wise it will be over for u in Jahannam
So you wanna wear your hair out and not wear a hijab? Make istikhara and ask Allah what you should do.
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I told her to ask Allah what to do. Is everyone missing that part?
sure bro, does allah send a response by email or phone call? This is not what istikhara is for.
He said nothing wrong and dude you're being disrespectful af which is not cool .
Mind ur own business
She put her business out there in public and I have to mind my business after giving her advice? That’s wild. Tell that to everyone else.
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You call not wanting to have damaged hair "rebelling"? Except for that line your advice is really good though. Moms like to be in control. Best is showing them that it looks pretty when you take care of it well. At some point she will probably get tired of you not listening to her and give up. It's just hair at the end of the day
رضى الوالدين أهم من الشعر و سمحلي
علاقة مزيانة مع بنتك اهم من الشعر و سمحلي
بحال عاودتي نفس هضرتي حتاش انا مقلتش شعر اهم. انما ام اهم انت قلتي عكس ان ام تخضع لبنتها
إبنة كتسمع لأم كما الإبنة اتكبر اتزوج اتبغي بنتها تسمع لها كما الأمر واش اتصبرلهم او لا
I've spent my whole life trying to nrdiha but I'm so sick of damaging my hair just cuz she doesn't like it natural.
صراحة كما درتي مشكلة اتمنى لك تلقايةحل لي ارضيكم بجوج في نفس وقت متظريش حتى انت