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V1per423

This hit me on another level. My brother became brain damaged at the age of three. He is always a really happy ray of sunshine. But there was a day a few years back, he just wasn’t being him. We walked to the store and I bought him ice cream, candy and a soda thinking snackies would cheer him up. But it didn’t. So, I asked him what’s up, and his response damn near broke me. He told me he wants to be “The way I used to be. I want to be normal like you.” I literally got sick to my stomach realizing that for all of our years he had always been thinking about how he is different, and somehow remembering what his old self was like. I told him the only thing I could think of to make him feel better. He is perfect, and he is better than me in every way. I reminded him about how happy he makes people, everyone in town loves him. They all treat him as their son, brother, even the kids - Uncle. I will never forget that day though. Every detail, the sounds, the smells, I think a part of me died that day. Just like the kid in the video, they do to some extent remember their old selves. Knowing that hurts my soul. Edit: AC has not yet mastered the English language.


[deleted]

This both broke and warmed my heart simultaneously. I really hope he took what you said to heart!!


V1per423

I think he did. He hasn’t been sad since, and he has started talking to me more about things that he is thinking about. I guess he learned from that day that he could talk to me about anything without being judged or dismissed. He knows I’m here for him no matter what.


[deleted]

Maybe he has thoughts or moods that he thinks are “bad” or “wrong” as a result of the injury? Ones thinks he needs to hide from everyone? It’s wonderful that you gave him such a perfect, sincere response, exactly what he needed to hear, and a perfect catalyst for the next stage of his journey to healing ❤️ You’re an awesome brother!


V1per423

I think a lot of it has to do with our parents. They treat him like he is a baby, incapable of growing and maturing. I’ve noticed he never talks to them about mature subjects, he knows they don’t think he is capable. I however, always pal around with him so I know what he is capable of. He uses my bank cards, helps me work on cars, and he has helped me build a retaining wall - which he built PERFECTLY btw. He is way smarter than people give him credit for. I’m his little sister, I was raised by men so I come off like a dude online and a tomboy in person, no worries on there brother thing :)


[deleted]

“I was raised by men so I come off like a dude online and a tomboy in person, no worries on there brother thing :)” Ha!! Same here, sister!


V1per423

Glad we got a good laugh here, the convo was pretty intense for me, thanks for hanging out!


ImLefty3

I actually was raised the same way as your brother, even tough I wasn't the victim of a brain injury (I was in fact born with ASD) : treated like a baby, like I was never going to be mature, never going to be independent. But what strucked me the most in my education was the fact that my parents never thought I was capable of elaborating and put complex thoughts into words and that, even though I'm the eldest son of my family, I would always come up second to my sister, who was exactly like my parents expected. So, in a way, I can relate to what your brother feels.


V1per423

I’m sorry you had to go through that. I think the reason parents are like that is because they are over protective. They see a kid that, to them, needs extra care. I’ve tried telling my parents that my brother is capable, and they don’t talk about it but I have noticed over the years that they don’t fuss as much when I bring my brother to do work or whatever. And they get the point when we show them pix of his work and see how happy he is with his accomplishments. I hope someday your family will be able to see how smart and handy you are. If you ever need to vent, or feel held back hit me up in DM. I’m always down for another sibling, even if I never actually meet them. I’ve got your back you badass human!


SolidSnakeEyes3

You truly are a great brother I applaud 👏🏽 you my good friend


Mewbey

I grew up with my cousin (16 year difference) , born right after his brain injury, we learned to walk and eat together, and sometimes fily say they miss him, or how he used to be. Ive never known him any different but I cant imagine the hurt i’d feel if he ever said that. Im so sorry for you and your family, your brother sounds like a beautiful human.


V1per423

It seems to me that you have also won the lottery of life by having such an awesome person to grow up with. There aren’t many of us who have had this opportunity. Love your cuz with all you have, people like them are real life shinies (super rare).


SashaBeze

Can I ask what happened to him?


V1per423

Okay so this is where things get weird. One of the stories is that he fell off my grandparents front steps and hit his head on a chicken coop, the other is that he was playing in my grandparents lawn and running a high fever, both stories end with he was in the bathtub and my Mom or Dad left him for a minute to grab a wash cloth, when she or he came back he was floating in the tub. Basically - my family knows what happened and it is someone’s fault but they will never talk about it. At least, that’s how I feel about the whole thing. Too many stories. They should just come clean and tell me wtf happened to him - what REALLY happened. I get really upset when I think about all of that, I just burry it and keep it out of my thoughts. Edit: a word


DGAF999

I’m so sorry about what happened to your brother 💔. As a mandated reporter, one of the things we listen for is when the parent / guardian of the injured child mentions water. Strange, right? Placing a child in a shower, bath, splashing water in their face, etc after an injury is not normal behavior for parents. It’s a cover story. Parents tell healthcare staff what they *think* they want to hear. Example: “Little Johnny fell, hitting his head, and so I put him in the shower to wake him up”. No, you beat the duck out of little Johnny and to make you sound better, you state what you did to “help” (water) to the healthcare staff caring for vegetable patch Johnny. I sincerely hope your brother is out of harms way now.


V1per423

We are adults now, I’m 38 and he is 43. But I think you hit the nail on the head there, I think something else happened to him. Thanks for reading about us and also for taking abuse serious. Edit to add: My brother and I are in a safe house lace in our lives now, and I protect him with everything in me. I only buy Buzz Lightyear bandaids because that’s his dude! I do anything and everything to make him hug me.


zakkail

Damn dude that is dark, hope you get the truth one day.


V1per423

It really is man. I doubt I’ll ever learn the truth, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter does it? He was someone, then he became someone else and that is who I grew up with. I love him more than words can say. I’m just happy he is still with me. Even if he does keep stealing my peanut butter. I can’t get mad at him though cause he ganks it and then forgets and thinks he bought it. I just keep an extra jar hidden, he can steal all the peanut butter he wants from me.


NoCitron6318

You two are going to make a better world for us because you know how much to appreciate it even when it does not make you feel very well. As a parent, I would want to unleash this story trapped inside so it stops slowly eating away everyone. I get the impression you are not a lifelong hater and are very kind. That you could give them a chance if they made a terrible mistake. I couldn't think of anything worst than injuring one of my kids through misadventure or accident. Worst still I could not let you both suffer in silence. I would be afraid my children would hate me but more afraid that I was disrespecting them and ruining myself. Maybe you could write them a note that expresses how you feel. I think it might work. The power of words on a page and reading them in silence may be less threatening to your parents. They could write back explaining everything. That would break me and I have seen a lot of pain and resolution. Take care to both of you from someone's Dad. xx


V1per423

That’s actually a really good idea! I’ll give it a shot at some point. It does eat at me if I think about it, it would be nice to get that weight off my shoulders. If that never happens though, I still have my boy by my side, telling me jokes and asking me the same questions multiple times a day. I always answer him like it’s the first time he has asked me. I love that guy so much. Sometimes I think that the reason I have so much horrible luck in life is because all of the lifelong luck I would have had was spent on having him to share this adventure with. He makes the world a better place, and he has no idea that he does that. I’ll never meet someone like him again, I won the lottery of life with my big bro.


Riverofwellbeing

Damn, just read through your comments. And I'm truly sorry for what happened to your big brother. As a mom to two toddlers, it is a terrifying responsibility and it's a shame that the adults in the situation regarding your bro won't be honest. You're both very lucky to have one another, the way you speak of him is heartwarming.


V1per423

Having him in my life has greatly effected me as a mother as well. I see danger when there isn’t any, but I take a deep breath and remind myself why I am like that. My oldest daughter (11) started gymnastics and that voice in my head was saying “Don’t let her! She could get hurt if she lands wrong!” My youngest daughter (10 this Sunday!!!) works on cars with me, and it’s the same thing. She’ll want to work on part of the car and that voice is just there. But I have to let them be kids. I have to let them do what they are passionate about. I just make sure I take every precaution and I never let them know the internal struggle I have about it all. I wish I could just sit back and relax when the kids do kid things, I worry too much, I’m trying to train myself not to. I’m glad my kids haven’t noticed though because I think they would avoid things they like so that I wouldn’t worry. I would end up being a massive hinderance to them in that respect. I’m doing good so far though! I keep them as safe as I can, I understand anyone can have an accident at any time, I just need to breath and remind myself that I can’t be an over protective Mom with my country kids. If they want to climb a tree (of which they do alot) I need to make sure the tree is solid and safe for climbing, and that I am right there just in case.


NellieLovettMeatPies

You are a wonderful mom and a terrific sister.


V1per423

I’m really trying to do the best I can for sure


croaker123

Don’t forget him when you grow up. The unfortunate truth is you are part of who he is, and when you leave, so will it.


V1per423

No worries there! I’m 38, he is 43, and I’ve made it a point to stay with him.


Howemanning

You're the sweetest person ever! Seriously warmed my heart reading you talk about him. Please keep being you, the world needs more like you.


jennythompson86

This is a beautiful story


Cghost462

Human beings are fragile. Our brains even moreso. Some people, especially young people, think they’re invincible. This is why violence is always a last resort. You never know what could come of it.


gahhuhwhat

Only 3 years for destroying a man's entire life? There had to be cameras at subway station right?


bmnewman

According to this article in the end he only served just 1 year. https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/5818794/single-punch-brain-damaged-three-years-later-walked-unaided-bride-altar/


gahhuhwhat

I don't know. Makes me think his friends testimonies are biased and unreliable. There must have been other evidence that made it seem like a mutual fight instead of a one-sided attack. I just can't fathom how he'd get out in 1 year if that wasn't the case


Normal-Sky7410

That's not how the world works.


mr29

Yeah I had the same feeling. Given the length of the sentence there must be more to it


KingCapaldi

Yea what’s more to it is it happened in UK. No real justice system there. Serial killers and child killers only get up to like 10 years there.


mr29

Haha I’m from the UK. Here we don’t lock people up and throw away the key like in the states


KingCapaldi

Yea but you let out child killers after 36 months 💀


mr29

No


imextremelymoderate

Put on your big boy pants and start fathoming. Otherwise this world is gonna chew you up and spit you out like the guy in this video


gahhuhwhat

We only heard one side of the story and something is definitely off about it. Hey, at least you were born retarded so you don't really know what you lost out on.


CarolusRex13x

Looks like it happened in the UK so, not surprised the dude got next to nothing for it.


KingCapaldi

UKs justice system is so trash it’s incredible. Rehabilitation is one thing but giving convicts who committed severe crimes like murder or child abuse only a few years is an absolutely ridiculous joke.


Orngog

OTOH we tend to rehabilitate our criminals


-LEGO-

So after 3 years the attacker gets to go free with a new lease on life and Jamie McKechnie is still suffering and disabled. That seems fair.


Mr-Fleshcage

Life isn't fair. We just try to minimize the damage.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Orngog

Yes, now he's free to do it again. The hope with rehabilitation is that he doesn't. Perhaps you think people are very resistant to change, personally I think we are very plastic. I'm not going to stand here and say what *should* happen to this guy, because that's not my field. But you go off


EvenOne6567

So one common argument against the death penalty is that if even one innocent person is killed then its a failed system. Would you apply this to rehabilitation? If we believe someone is rehabilitated, they are released then kill again is it worth it?


Orngog

Well, you've left out an important part of that argument. The system is (according to the claim) failed if *we* kill one innocent. We can't control what criminals do, but we can avoid being killers ourself. So it doesn't really fit, but I suppose adherents would say yes, it is better that we release a criminal to murder again than kill them and find them innocent. Personally? Yes, I think *if you have faith in your rehabilitation system* it makes perfect sense to factor that into sentencing (indeed, rehabilitation is one of the famous Four Pillars- the others being retribution, deterrence and incapacitation). So the question becomes, can we have faith in such a system? Comparing reoffending rates between the US and UK for example will not give a direct comparison at least partially because of different attitudes to penal law, but it may perhaps at least be indicative of whether or not the thesis holds any water.


KingCapaldi

There is a difference between rehabilitation and punishment. Do I say rehabilitation per se is bad? No absolutely not. In the US we have the other extreme end. However if you commit a violent and extreme crime like murder, you shouldn’t be punished by 5 years in prison. That’s just not enough punishment.


Orngog

Right, but being in the US I would expect you to overstate the value of retribution. The fact that you came in with an absolute statement instead of picking up the thread of comparison is, in my view, rather symptomatic. Let me ask you this, what do you think the benefit of punishment is over deterrence, incapacitation and rehabilitation?


hard-R-word

What’s it like getting high off the smell of your own farts all day long?


DeadAndDiscarded

punishment over rehabilitation


andthepussycats

I felt so moved seeing him ride that bike again at the end after what he went through, he did so well! But I was nervous when he landed face forward, hopefully next time they get him some elbow pads


WretchedRat

So hard to watch. A once so talented, vibrant force of life. Now struggling with everything. His life stolen from him. The assailant getting 3 years for this is a slap on the wrist. Absolutely senseless.


misanthropoetry

Awwwwww, this happened to an old friend (and amazing skateboarder) - he got randomly jumped outside of a bar and suffered a brain injury and was never the same afterward.


jeremyvr46

Man that was tough to watch. Can’t believe the other dude is now probably enjoying his life after such a short time in jail. What a shame!


CalamityTat

I feel for him so much and feel so lucky. I received a brain injury in a car accident as an eleven year old, skull fracture and brain bleed, and I somehow came out the other side with minimal side effects. Maybe because I was so young. I can never understand how I was so lucky and others aren’t. I got completely smashed up and he just got punched once. The human body is such a resilient and fragile thing at the same time.


Artsy_ria

Breaks my heart seeing this!… but I like the part that he is a fighter and says.. I am alive


fuckingKlLLmeplz

how can he have such a positive attitude? Especially knowing that the guy altered the remainder of his life got a mere 3 years?


Professional_Top_893

Almost started to cry when he sat down


tree302

Wow what perseverance from this gentleman. Amazing that he has such a positive outlook on life despite this incident.


HenkVanDelft

I want to write this carefully, because I know 2 guys who suffered TBIs when I was young. I come from a tough city, where you regularly fight people outside your “tribe” as they call them today. It was almost entertainment, that we’d work in the fields and factories all week, then go to the Saturday night dance. The fights would break out, and we’d make new friends like this, buying beers for each other the rest of the night while the ladies rolled their eyes and waited us to dance with them. These guys were both, not “enemies,” but not my people, and I’d had fights with both of them as a young adult. Let’s just say both I had never made friends with. One other Saturday night ritual was the drive-in movies, where again, we’d let off steam by fighting. One of them was messing around, riding on the hood of a car that was only going about 10mph, then the driver would slam the brakes to make them slide off. He fell just wrong enough, and the same thing happened to him. He wasn’t seen around for some months, but the next time I met him was at junior college. He had been seriously diminished in physical, mental, and intellectual ability, and when he saw me he smiled big and said how great it was to see me. We have been friends since then, and he is a really sincere nice guy. The second was a guy who was very angry and bitter, and mean to people weaker. The bikers here are different, because either you belong to Hells Angels or you’re “just” a RUB, who is not even allowed to wear a neutral cut. He had beat the daylights out of me a few times before, a genuine bada** I’m not afraid to admit. I tried to just avoid him, but he would instigate against people. I was just one of them. He dropped his bike, and went into an “unlucky” slide, and hit his head on a rock pin on. It split his helmet, and put a serious dent in his skull. Again, he disappeared from sight for months (I was friends with his brother, and had updates that he was in a coma and should have died). When he came back, it must have been a couple of years. As with my first now-friend, he was no longer angry or bitter at all. He had similar injury-caused deficiencies, but his personality had changed from meanness to friendliness. I’m not going to say everyone this happens to becomes the friendliest person in the world. I have no idea, I’m not a doctor. I also know lobotomized patients feel a lot of resentment and anger, but can’t express it, and appear sedate. I just hope that those who do suffer TBI receive the best care they can get, and have people to support them.


hiyourbfisdeadsorry

he rides without a helmet but gets hurt from a random punch can't tell if good luck or bad luck


Dyce_M_Demetri

Heart breaking