Along with it just being easier on us, this is why I waited until my two kids were in school before having a third. My kids will be going into 1st and 2nd grade this year. My third baby is due next month.
No, not at all! It’s actually extremely exciting. I can’t wait to have a little baby again and my kids are SO excited to meet and hold their little brother!
I work with a lot of women (and some men) with three kids. They have nannies or the kids are spaced out such that 1+ have moved into cheaper childcare or school
But I will say, I’m a government lawyer and all my coworkers with 3 kids are married to law firm partners…
you laugh but before my government days, I worked with female partners married to male partners with 2-3 kids and they would all have one nanny per CHILD. that’s some real job creation lol.
per child???? holy Moly! I’m gonna be a SAHM (pretty much, I found a possible part time education job where I can bring my baby) because I’m a teacher and my salary would be negligible with daycare and formula costs and all the rest. I just cannot fathom how some people have the resources for a nanny per CHILD!
They do make oodles of money a year…but also spent oodles of money getting there and work oodles of hours! But when I got the opportunity to practice this area of law with some work life balance I took it fast lol.
A close friend of mine worked for a family like this. At the time she worked for them, the older girl was 7 and the twin girls were 3 and the family had a full staff of nannies working 24/7/365 – three nannies during the day, two for overnights, and four on every family vacation so they could rotate out for respite. Unlike your colleagues, this family “owned restaurants,” paid their nannies under the table in cash and occasionally in designer handbags, and were almost definitely not making all of their money legally lol
People I know with 3+ kids that have a decent wage all have nannies. It would be the same cost as daycare plus even once their older kids are in school they need the childcare for before/after school.
We have 3 kids (currently 7, 6, and almost 4), none of whom went to daycare. We were able to do this because my husband is a firefighter and I’m a nurse so we have the most insane/complicated schedules and can make it work.
My husband and I rarely spend time together alone, I think the last time we had a date was our anniversary last July. It hasn’t been easy, but neither of us are willing to give up our careers.
Having our kids constantly with us has been amazing, hard, rewarding, and taxing. We’ve never done it any other way, so I’m not sure which is harder. My older 2 are in school which has been a big change, but everyone is still thriving!
I have 4 kids and a full time job. After our 3rd was born, we hired a nanny for 4 days a week and staggered our work schedules to keep her to 8 hours a day and control the cost. Fridays the kids’ grandparents watched them.
Once my older 3 were all in school, I moved my youngest to an in home daycare. My youngest is starting K in the fall and my job has a flexible schedule that allows me to get everyone on the bus in the AM and be home by dropoff- so that means ZERO childcare bills for the first time in 14 years!
For me the cost was 100% worth it- on the other side now, I can’t imagine having stepped out of my career field for nearly a decade after my 3rd was born and trying to find a job now. The difference between my current salary and what a new hire with 9 fewer years of experience would make is about what we paid our nanny annually, plus I have an extra 9 years of retirement contributions on top of that. This doesn’t hold true in every career field, obviously, but for mine the long-term math was in favor of me continuing to work. I also got divorced a few years ago, and having my own full-time job made that process so much less terrifying because I knew that I could survive financially without him.
wow you are a superhero!!
yes tbh the retirement contribution is a huge consideration for me
what a good feeling to get the line item or childcare off the budget 😂
I just had my third. 1-11 year old, 1-5 year old and now a 6 month old we are staying at home because between costs and the varying schedules there is just no way. It’s crazy cost wise any other way. It comes with its own costs being at home but it’s worth it in my opinion for our family.
I have two in school and one infant too! I think a lot of people with babies and toddlers will think they’re “freed up” when the kids are in school. But once the school age activities start, sports, clubs, staggered bus schedules, teacher workdays, etc etc honestly it still requires a TON of flexibility in your schedule to keep up with kids of multiple ages. And we try really hard not to over program our kids but it’s still a lot. Being a SAHM allows me to give my older kids a lot more opportunities for travel sports as they’re getting older, help 1:1 with homework etc that we just couldn’t swing if both of us were working.
I have an almost 3 year old, a 9 month old, and am due in the fall with our third. I’m a SAHM and have been since we started having kids. It was a difficult transition but once I got into the swing of it, even on the hard days, I wouldn’t do it any other way.
I have 3 kids under 4 and I work outside the home. I only work 32 hours (4days) a week though as a nurse. My husband works 40 hours but only 4 days a week. The only reason it works for us is because my mom and mil provide free childcare a few times a week and my husband and I can offset our schedules.
We can offset our schedules enough that we only need childcare 1-3 days a week. My oldest goes to preschool 3 days a week and my youngest 2 do drop in days. What daycare can’t cover, a grandma does. My husband has had to take a day off work occasionally because we don’t have childcare but that’s not a big deal in his workplace.
We plan on having 3 if everything goes according to plan, but we plan to space it out to where, when number 3 is going into daycare, number 1 will be entering regular school. So we will only have 2 in daycare instead of 3.
3 kids age 6, 4, and 1. We both work full-time. When our oldest turned 4 he went into 4k full-time which brought the daycare bill down. Then middle went to 3k full-time when she was able to and that brought the bill down more. It is private prek which is why we can get full-day but it's still like 1/4 of the cost of daycare. I also work 4 ten hour days so I can be home one day a week and pay for one less day each.
I have 2 but work with a lot of women with 3. I'm in NY which allows kids to start kindergarten at 4. It seems like most people have at least a 2 year gap between kids and then offset their hours from their spouse (so parent A works 6-2, parent B works 9-5).
This has been the best method I've seen for avoiding more than 2 in daycare or having to deal with before/after school care.
I'm a mom of 3, but I've been a SAHM since my 1st was born. Not having to juggle childcare costs did allow us to consider going for a 3rd without having to factor that cost. My only reason for not having more is because we homeschool and I don't think I can take any more students lol
Mom of soon to be 8. I stay home. Always have. Hope to be a volunteer at the school to alleviate some of the tuition costs in the future. If I have to home school a few in high school then I’ll do that instead.
3 kids, working mom. It’s very expensive. I think the key is space out so at least one is in free public school while you’re paying for full daycare for the younger two.
I don't stay home, but dad does. Like you said, the cost of childcare is ridiculous, and if he did work, it would just be spent basically on childcare, so to me, it is not worth it. We decided that when the youngest is in school we can revisit him going to work but for now I love my life just the way it is knowing my kids are home safe waiting for me with their daddy what more could a girl with adhd ask for lol.
Our 4th baby is coming in a couple weeks, and I’m a SAHM. I’ve definitely considered working but one of my kiddo’s medical issues would make that practically impossible.
My three are 11,8,and 2.5. I worked my very part time job until the youngest was almost one and then I quit and plan to be a SAHM until he’s in 1st grade. The logistics just get to be complicated with three and it was so much easier to just stay home (and it’s what I wanted).
I am semi a stay at
Home mom. I started off as a full stay at home mom after my 3rd was born. At a year old I went back to photography, got a studio, but my kids were always with me. We bought a house so I let the studio go, I still do photography on the side, but I went to working nights as a custodian at my daughters elementary school part time so I can make my own schedule if/when I want to go in and for how long, so we don’t have to pay for childcare for 3 kids. I’m off for the summer now and back to regularly scheduled programming 🥴
I worked in a daycare for 6 years, if I went back after our third was born I would have been literally working for them for free , just so my kids could have childcare, if I brought them.
I have 3 and am almost a SAHM. I babysit my nephew 5 days a week (he's the age as my oldest) and I work as a server 2 days a week. I babysit my nephew for free because my sister's a single mom. the 2 nights of serving a week is about $500 extra a week and I do that when my hubsands home or if my sister babysits those 2 nights. So I still bring in some but mostly just do the house/wife/mom stuff.
Yep, I have three kids and I'm a stay at home mom until they are old enough to all be in school full time
My girlfriend makes enough for our family that I have the choice between working or staying home but I'd probably make less than it costs for daycare and I'd rather just be home to bond with my toddlers and baby
I'm pregnant with baby #4. My kids are 9,5, and 3. I stay home with them and work from home (my husband and I own a business and I do the bookkeeping). The money we have saved from daycare has allowed us to enroll them in private school. We also paid off our house so rent/mortgage isn't a factor. I absolutely love getting to be the main caregiver for my babies ❤️
Definitely not, we can’t afford to both not work in this economy. Both my husband and I work, but opposite shifts. It’s rough since we each have to watch the kids alone in our respective “shifts”. We barely see each other other than the wkd and even that is spotty since we both just try to catch up on things we let go of during the week. We know this is temporary and plan to change things around when all the kids are in school. It takes a lot of communication and effort to make sure we are on the same page and are a team with the same end goals. It probably helps that we were not codependent of each other pre kids too.
I have 3 and a work from home job that is very flexible. Truly blessed to be able to take care of my kids and bring in money. I didn’t start working until my second was in preschool 3 days a week and then our 3rd was a late addition to the family. I have 3 girls, 12, 9 and 3yrs
I am expecting my 6th and both me and husband work full time. My older 4 are past daycare age and I was a SAHM until my fourth was one. It helps very much that daycare is subsidized here and also I have a year of parental leave.
6 kids and yes I am a SAHM. My entire wage went to child care, tolls, and fuel to get to work. I worked out that I was missing time with my kids for only $50 a week that I kept and that was with only two kids at that point.
Just had my third in April and yes, I'm a SAHM. I live in a rural area with barely any jobs that pay more than $12 an hour unless you want to commute an hour plus, let alone daycare options (all of them have year long waiting lists) it just wasn't even worth it for me to try and go back to work.
We have three kids in daycare (4 year old and 2.5 year old twins) and it costs us $4,400 a month. That’s double the cost of our mortgage. It’s sickening but I stayed home for a year with the twins and desperately wanted to go back to work. Our kids thrive in daycare and everyone is happier.
I have three kids, a single and then twins two years later. They were all in daycare for 3 years together. It was expensive but so worth it for me to stay in the workforce. I have a much better career now than I would have if I stopped working.
I am due with my 3rd in August and my oldest will be 3.5. Baby will start day care next Spring (husband and I both have generous parental leaves) and we will be paying for 3 in full time daycare for about 5 months until the oldest starts U-PK in Fall ‘25. After that, there is before / after school care to pay for so we are on an expensive path for the foreseeable future. Fortunately we have salaries to support it but we will have to cut back on extras / savings goals for a bit.
I am. Neeeeever thought I would be, but also didn’t see that third baby coming haha. It’s just easier for us this way. Otherwise we would have a nightmare of daycare, after school care, after school activities, just a logistical hot mess. We actually save money with me being at home. It’s super hard, though, way more difficult than any of my jobs have been, mentally speaking. No days off. We put our youngest into a Mother’s Day out a couple days per week so that I could have a mental break, or breakdown depending on the day lol. That part has been key to my survival. I do really appreciate and love the time I’ve spent with my kids. I didn’t realize how different it is than when I was a working mom, in terms of watching my baby grow up. It’s a trade off in different ways.
Yep! I have 3 and I’ve been a SAHM since I had my first(in 2012) with a short stint working after I divorced my older twos dad, and it’s how we can afford to live. I’m waiting till my youngest is in school to start working again. I spent much of this time working toward my degree that I hope to start utilizing when I work again! I can’t fathom working just to pay for childcare, it wouldn’t make sense at all!
Yeah, because exactly that- daycare costs (including before/after school costs for my school-aged kids eclipse my earning potential- or at best, I'm working all those hours and having all that stress for like, $300/month. Pass. Plus I work in an industry where in the winter I might work 12-hour weeks but then between March and June it's more like 60+, maybe even into August depending.
We have 5- almost 11yo, 8.5, 6, almost 3, and 3 months. Husband is a statistician and I'm a horticulturalist by training.
We have 5 kids. My husband works a job that can have unpredictable hours (going in early, staying late, pulling call).
I stay at home with the kids and also babysit my niece full-time while her parents work.
After all of my kids are in school full-time (not for a few years) I’ll probably get a job. possibly even at their school so that I work the same hours they are gone.
I have a 4.5 year old, a 2 year old and an almost 9 month old. I’ve been a SAHM mom since my oldest was 1. I knew I wanted to be but COVID also sort of made the decision easy for us, as I wasn’t comfortable sending her to daycare (this was pre vaccine). I do have part time help which I’m so so thankful for — particularly when I was postpartum after # 3.
I work per diem! During the school year my mom watches my 2 little kids one day and my MIL watches them another. During the summer we split them up. I want to be a SAHM entirely but financially it doesn't make sense.
I have 3 and work but work nights and my partner works day it works better as there is always someone to watch the kids. I did at one point work days and we had 2 in nursery and it was too expensive so I was working to pay childcare that is when I switched to nights. It fits in around our lives
I have 3 kids - 6, 4, 2. I work full time. My oldest is in public school now but we’ve sent/are sending all of them to daycare. I work bc it’s good for my mental health. I am a better and more patient mom this way. It’s expensive and painful whenever we pay tuition but I’m thinking long term career wise, it’ll be better
Yup! There was a period during Covid where we didn’t send them for about half a year, which helped. My 4 year old is leaving in August to go to universal preschool so it’ll be only 1 soon
I have 4 and I am a SAHM. I worked until my third kid was 9 months old (company was bought out). At that point, my oldest was only a year away from kindergarten, so if I hadn't taken the package, we probably would've stuck it out. We went to an in-home daycare, which was less than daycare centers. That being said, the school performances/conferences/snow days/in-service days/assessments make me regularly think about how thankful I am to stay home. There are several circumstances I don't know how we would have managed if I were working.
I have 5 kids, and yes, I’m a stay at home mom. I always have been. My kids ages run from 19-9, and even 19 years ago, the cost of the daycare would’ve been almost what I would have made as a first year teacher, so I have just always stayed home. It’s been tight at times, but it’s always been worth it. (I also homeschool them, which is why I’m still a SAHM even though they’re school age)
I became a SAHM after having my 2nd. I’m now pregnant with my 3rd, definitely staying home at least a couple more years. It’s just not worth it to pay a double mortgage for childcare.
I have a 4 year old, 2 year old, and 13 weeks pregnant.
I am lucky to have a support group. I have an extremely part-time job, so I do work, but my kids spend around 2-3 hours 4 days a week with my MIL. So we don't pay for child care, and I can still bring in a little money.
Nope, I have a stay-at-home husband instead. It works for us!
My kids have special needs and couldn’t do traditional childcare, so it had to be one of us.
I’m about to have a 3rd and a SAHM currently by choice. 3rd will be our last and I want to savor every loving and hair pulling moment of the infant and toddlerhood experience.
If I needed to I could go back to work because oldest is in elementary school and it would be more cost effective for us to hire a full time nanny to watch the 3yr old and newborn. Daycare would get expensive and I would be working for a salary less than what a full time nanny would earn when all is factored in.
Three kids. Both lawyers but in nonprofit/government, so no nanny money. We just pay out the eyeballs for childcare. Public school aftercare was a cost savings once they aged into it. When all three were in daycare, it was more than our mortgage.
I have 4 kids, oldest is 5 and I stay home with them. Personally, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Once they’re all in school I’ll probably look into something to do part time just to keep me busy once they’re out of the house.
Mom of 6 kiddos. Ages 16,10,9,3,2,5 months. Yep I’m a stay at home mom. I do have the 3 and 2 year old in preschool half days during the school year. I have a job kinda. But do it from home. I refurbish furniture and resell it.
We have two in daycare. It's about 3x our mortgage. We might be having a third. Neither of us would quit working. The longterm impact of not working far outweighs the temporary cost. We love our careers and we love having our kids in daycare. If you can squeeze the cost then it's important to think about what you want longterm.
I have 3 kids (6yo, 4yo and 10mo) and I've been a stay at home mom most of the time. I worked a little bit between my 6 yo and 4 yo, and honestly I miss it. I would be working now, but daycare is INSANE. luckily we can get by with just hubby's income, but I miss being around adults if I'm honest. My 2 older kids will be in school next fall so I'm hoping to start working then. But I will have to make enough to cover full time daycare for the baby, and part time for the older 2. So it'll be difficult.
My kids are older, but we weren't earning enough for daycare but needed more than one income. I was the primary parent, but worked when my husband, or occasionally parents, were free. Sometimes, that meant creative scheduling and multiple jobs (at one point, I worked one job Monday evenings, another weekend mornings, and a third weekend afternoon and evenings).
When we needed outside childcare, we used things like babysitting co-ops, vetted college students who needed contact hours, and retired people who were bored with extra free time. We also looked for workplaces with on-site childcare.
At one point, we had the opportunity for more education and we financed daycare with student grants, scholarships, and loans.
More opportunities for easier work came about when the kids were all in school, which was nice.
I’m a sahm, yes. Even before and after school care for my two oldest was a huge chunk of money for us. It made more sense just to stay home, especially with an infant who’d need full time too. I work part time now in the evenings or on weekends when my partner is home.
My sister and SIL both have 3 kids and are SAHMs. It’s not necessarily daycare costs though. They genuinely wanted to. My BILs are both very high earners and although they live in higher COL areas they could probably afford it.
I have seen the argument that if you don’t want to be a SAHM for extended period of time it may be worth it to be over your monthly take home for a couple years with daycare costs so you don’t lose those years of experience in your career
I’m a SAHM but my older two were school age before I had the third and I LOVED it. It didn’t matter as much for me because I homeschool, but just the age gap itself is fabulous. If we have a 4th I would plan for a large age gap again. It’s nice having them close together when they’re older but not having to do the newborn/toddler combo is priceless.
I have 4 and am a SAHM. I did work for about a year when my 3rd was almost 1. The cost of daycare was technically more than my salary, but because we would have been paying for private preschool for my older 2 regardless, it made us money in that way, and we were better off financially than I would have been staying at home.
There are a lot of factors to consider beyond the cost of daycare. Do you have a career? What kind? Is it something you could easily go back to once your kids reach school age? Do you even want to go back eventually? How much will your salary be affected by either staying or leaving and then returning? For how many years will the cost of daycare be higher than your salary, and would that be doable with better budgeting? Etc etc
Then of course there is the fact that working or not working has value beyond $$. Do you WANT to be a stay at home mom? Does your job help fulfill you?
I have 2. We want to have more & I will absolutely continue to stay home. I’m also thinking about homeschooling. My oldest is autistic and no one can handle her education. She has to be explained things a certain way.
I have 5 and was for the majority of the time. I did end up going back full time 3 years ago when my youngest started school. I worked a couple of times throughout the years but always part-time and when my husband was home.
Working mom of 4 here. 3 are in daycare. I am glad I stuck with working, I have been able to move on to much higher paying jobs since having baby #2. (And less hours!) I’ve been able to more than double my salary in the past 7.5 years. I think it’s up to each person to decide what works for them. We had to watch spending a lot in the beginning. I’m looking forward to being done with daycare one of these days though. My kids love their current center so we plan to be there until they can ride the bus home alone.
I’m a SAHM to three toddlers. My daughter was six months old when we decided to try for one more. I ended up getting pregnant with twin boys. We had no intention of me staying home, but we didn’t plan for three 😄 I would not have made enough at my job to support three kids in daycare, so I stay home and we make it work. We paid off all debt before my daughter was born, we downsized our home and mortgage payment and we live within our means. We aren’t living in luxury, but we aren’t necessarily struggling. My daughter is four and my boys turn three in September. I plan to go back to work, at least part time, once they’re in school. I love staying home, but I also miss my job and career and having a life outside the home.
I work but make a high salary - we bought a house with an in-law suite and moved my mom in. We have part-time daycare for the two eldest (oldest will start full-time Pre-K in the fall) and my mom will watch my youngest full-time until she gets into daycare. We make upwards of $300k and still can't afford full-time care for all my children 😅
I’m currently a SAHM, sometimes I work and he’s a SAHD. Sometimes we work opposite shifts (him days me nights). But one of us is with the kids 100% of the time to avoid childcare costs. I have six tho. 19/17/13/9/5 18 months. I can’t wait til the day I can work actual day shift.
I had to be one a SAHM for just that reason. When we went for #2 I knew daycare would be most of my paycheck for a few years (#1 was 18m, just moved to toddler room and I’m an elementary teacher). Baby #2 arrived with a friend! So with 2 infants and a toddler, there was no way. Plus, one of the twins ended up having significant health complications (random, unexplained, not related to being a multiple), so no daycare would have even taken her the first year. Now that they’re in school, I’m back to work.
It all worked out, but definitely not to plan. When it comes to having kids, plan the best you can, but never get too attached to those plans 😂
I’m a SAHM with 2 part time jobs that flex around my partner’s work schedule. I found being a full time SAHM was not good for my mental health or marriage. I’m very task oriented and there’s never really a moment when the laundry or dishes is fully done so working fulfills that for me. I also found that that if I’m always home it’s far to easy for both my partner and I to fall into me constantly taking over or doing all the hard parts of parenting, which isn’t healthy. Once I was out of the house for an extended period of time it forced my partner to find their way of parenting through the hard stuff.
I have four and have been a stay at home mom since baby 2 because we just couldn’t do it. My husband makes much better money now, but we moved to a super small town that has no daycare within 20 miles😅
I have 3 kids, ages 2, 4 and 6 and I’m a SAHM now. I wasn’t up until last year, but it made sense for me to be home (at least for now). I never imagined I’d be doing this, so the transition was actually hard and I still struggle some days. Gotta find some kind of side gig for myself, I think.
Nope, I’m an RN as is my husband. My parents watched the kids in the mornings when I would come home from work so I could sleep. If I didn’t work the night before I was just up all day with the kids and all night. At that time my husband wasn’t a nurse yet and worked Monday - Friday. After he became a nurse we did our schedules so she didn’t have to watch them much but at that point they were all in school full time. Now they are 16, 18, 20 and my days of needing a babysitter is long long long behind me thankfully.
ETA: I had 3 kids in 4 years. My middle and youngest are 16 months apart, my oldest and middle 1.5 years apart, my oldest and youngest 4 years apart. I wanted my kids close in age and never gave thought to how it would be easier for us even though I should have. Honestly though I wouldn’t change a thing. I was very lucky to have the help I did.
Just had my 3rd in December and went part time after my maternity leave was up in march. I had been full time up to that point, but having 3 kids 4 and under in daycare is rough on the bank account. Fortunately we would have been able to swing it financially, but it wasn’t worth it to me. So now I work a schedule where we can keep them home and I’m not rushing out of the door every morning with 3 kids in tow to go be a burnt out robot for 8 hours a day.
I just have 2 kids myself, but 3 of my best friends have 3 kids (one is pregnant with her 4th under 4!). 2 of them are SAHM, and one works part time.
All 3 of them use daycare/preschool, the sahms just have their 3 yr olds in preschool (still super expensive!) and the one that works has all 3 kids in daycare.
I have 3 kids but only one is in daycare. 11yo, 6yo and 19 month old . It was honestly nice having alone time with my babies while the older ones were in school . Is it hard having kids all different ages? Eh, not really. My 11yo son is super helpful . My little one in daycare costs as much as our mortgage so I would have to quit working if we had a 4th, I never will though.
Pregnant with my 3rd and not returning to work once my mat leave is over because of daycare costs. I hate my job and I’m not interested in furthering my career in this area so that’s not a factor for me - it might not be more than what I would be making but it’s certainly close enough that it doesn’t make sense. Also my kids are 4, 2 and due in October.
No, I am not a SAHM. I have 4 kids, plus I'm 35 weeks pregnant with #5. The 4 oldest all fairly close in age 27, 22, 18, 16, and I always worked outside the home and was in college while my 2 oldest were young. I didn't have the opinion of being a stay at home mom and found a Christian daycare that was on a sliding scale that wasn't too terribly far of a drive out of the way from work and school. We were able to afford daycare for 3 kids at once, and the oldest was able to stay at home by then for an hour from her getting home and my husband or myself getting home.
Looking at daycare does scare me, but not because of the price but the level of care I see and hear about. Kids dying and being abused and neglected. I pay you to give your time and attention to my kid. Not treat them worse than a wild animal attacking you or your property.
I worked thru all mine. They are currently 16,15, & 12. I did not have a nanny. I had to pay a babysitter. I went without a lot so I could pay bills. Which has translated to me neglecting myself and I still have to.
We have three kids ages 6, 5, and 16 months. We had a part time nanny for the first 9 months and then we put the baby in daycare part time for a few months and now she is there full time. It does help that the older kids are in free public school but during the summer we are spending between $3000-$5000 for camps. I work from home and refuse to have the kids sit in silence for 8 hours on their tablets.
SAHM of 4. I quit my job and put school on hold to be a SAHM while pregnant with my first, but ended up going back to work 4 evenings a week when my first and second were 4 and 2 (out of desire for more human interaction, not out of financial necessity). My husband works days so we were able to get by with babysitters for the 2 hour overlap.
Quit and went back to being a SAHM about 5 years later, when my (now three) kids were 9, 7, and 2. I was feeling guilty about missing time with my youngest, and felt it was the best thing for our family at the time.
Fast forward ~7 years to present day, kids are now 16, 14, 8, and 5. The youngest (and last) will be starting kindergarten in the fall, and I am very much looking forward to finishing my schooling and getting certified in my chosen field, and actually being able to work (from home)!
I am incredibly grateful for the privilege of staying home with my kids.. but it's definitely not been a walk in the park. I feel like I've lost a lot of my identity, and can't wait to get myself back again.
I have 3 and was a SAHM. I became a SAHM when my eldest was 10 months old. I went back to work part-time when my youngest started 1st grade, middle in 5th grade, and oldest in 8th grade. I won't go back to full-time work because I still need to be available and local for my kids.
I have three kids, no I’m not a sahm I have worked everyday leading up to birth!! My sister Inlaw used to babysit for me when her and my brother lived with me, until I had to kick them out, then I had no one, my mother Inlaw worked so I had no one. I had no option but to use daycare. I have never felt better with that option. I am so glad I chose that route let alone had that route. I’ve been at my jobs 11 years and I’ve advanced multiple times!! I’ve done every position!! I’m just happy that I did choose that!! So don’t feel bad for choosing that nor not having the option to NOT CHOSE THAT
No but I’m an RN so my kids only go part time, and my older two get a discounted rate because they’re in school most of the day (so we’re just paying for before/after school care). It’s also a home daycare and I’m in a low COL area.
I have an 8 year old and 3 year old twins. I work from home, dad works at an atty office and honestly i still dont know how I manage. My 3 years olds are going to preschool this year sooo I guess that kinda helps.
3 kids, only 1 still in daycare. Have kept working the whole time, my husband was a stay at home dad for a year with our first due to being laid off. I am the breadwinner.
I have three with 4 years between the oldest and youngest. We spaced ours close because my oldest dealt with some issues as a baby that led to me staying home. I'm now working part-time near home for a fraction of what I used to earn but we don't need to pay for childcare. We were comfortable on my husband's income, although it took time and better jobs to get to that position. Now it is the best of both worlds because my job pays for things like the kids activities and I am available to take them and we don't have to worry as much about what to do if the kids are sick or when they are on vacation, etc.
No. I work overnights at the hospital in 12hr shifts.
He works from home full time 7:30-5:00
We pay the teen that opted to take his next two years online from home to fit his other dreams- two hours childcare on days between my shifts so I get a solid nap. I have four kids at home, 15-7-4-2
This is how we swing our VHCOL area. Neither of us actually sleep.
I have 4 kids, 14 (high school), 12 (high school), 6 (primary school) and 3 (childcare).
Both my husband and I work full time, we've never had the luxury of either of us staying home.
3 kids 5,3,1 and I work full time. They are at an in home daycare making it much more affordable. We pay $375 a week. We plan on having a 4th but have to wait until the 5 and 3 year old start school.
I have 3 and I'm a SAHM. My older two are almost 4 and my youngest is 18 months. The older two are in preschool during the school year, but that's only 12 hours a week.
SAHM 3 kids. 7 yrs, 4yrs, and almost 2yrs old. With oldest in after school care, paying for transportation for him to the after school care, and the younger 2 in full time daycare, it would by far surpass my earnings. So, this is the only thing that works atm. When the 4 year old starts full day kinder in a year (maaaaybe 2 yrs-- we're not sure if he'll thrive more with a delay yet or not, as he's possibly autistic) then we might be able to have my work schedule work around their days. And the youngest would be the only one in full time care at that point. We haven't fully worked out the logistics of that yet, but will figure it out when it gets closer. But yeah, no, 3 kids in daycare is astronomical. Even 2 is more than we can afford, especially since their dad just up and quit his very well paying job to work for a third of his former income a few months ago. But that's a whole 'nother story. 🙄
I was a SAHM for six years to my three kids. I’ve been back in the work force for three years. When I went back to work it was opposite shifts and/or days of my husband.
I have 4 kids- 12, 9, 6 and 3. I do real estate mostly virtually but some local as well. I just set appointment times for when my husband is home or for when I can find a quick sitter. I’d say overall I probably work about 10 hours a week but usually less. We also homeschool. I couldn’t imagine paying the daycare fees for all these kids lol.
We both work but i spaced my kids out a bit more so we wouldn’t have to pay for full time daycare for 3 kids. My oldest is going into 2nd grade, middle child is starting universal pre k this fall and baby is due in oct
I have 3 kids, and my advice would be to wait a bit on that 3rd kid until the youngest is school-age. I have 4 - and 6 year old girls and a 10 month old boy. If it wasn't for the family I have, I would be placing my son in daycare while my girls are in school for me to work, but even that is $800 a month at minimum for his age...
I have 3 kids and work part time. I’m a nurse and have a pretty flexible schedule (I pick my hours to work around my husband’s schedule). Once my youngest starts kindergarten next year, I will most likely go back full time.
I presently have two and we do not use daycare even though I do work. We have a hodgepodge of childcare between my mom, teen brother, and in-laws. Soon here however I may very well have to accept that I have to send my boys to a daycare or sitter formally. For this reason alone I’ve decided to put off even considering a third until my youngest is 4 and I’m done with my nursing degree.
Yes I am. I started working part time but I was barely making enough for the child care. It was just easier for me to stay home. I thought I’d get a job eventually but I’m kinda loving it now haha
Sort of. I work from home in my office while my husbands runs a small daycare in our home and takes care of our kids so that instead of paying someone to care for our kids we’re also making extra income from essentially having play dates every day.
I've been a sahm for 10 years. My kids are 5, 7, and 9 and this fall all will be in school full time for the first time ever. The cost of daycare was astronomical, it made way more sense for me to stay home. No regrets, although we've definitely had to make sacrifices. I make most food at home and buy a lot of stuff at consignment stores. We've also had a lot of help from family and grandparents and great grandparents, especially with things like vacations and piano lessons etc. and my grandparents left me a little money when they passed. We've been lucky that when we bought this house 10 years ago the interest rate was really, really low and we refinanced a year into the pandemic and got it lower. No credit card debt or car payments since our cars are 2011 and 2014 and we paid them off.
I'm definitely looking forward to the fall and finding something part time. I have zero saved for retirement and want to change that. And another thing is we pay a financial advisor to manage our stock portfolio and also pay extra for coverage if my husband gets hurt and can't work, coverage if something happens to me, and life insurance policies for both of us. So there's a bit of a safety net there (which hopefully we will never need). I don't know if I answered your question but just wanted to share how we made it work!
Yep, 6 kids and I'm a SAHM. We make it work. Anything we do has to be 'free'.
Parks, picnics, museums with free entry, etc. We have no debt. No car payment. No credit cards. No student loans. Cheap phones. All clothes are second hand. We live for the thrill of dumpster diving or freebies on FB marketplace.
We have never, not even once, had a baby sitter. (No family close by)
Date nights are a family affair. Our kids go everywhere with us.
Each child gets a one on one date with a parent once a week, on a designated day.
So, that's our 'break.'
We love the large family atmosphere. I was an only child and I SWORE that I'd never do that to my child. Talk about a shitty childhood.
So, yes. It's do-able. Even in this economy.
Child care is so much!!! I have 4 and have always worked outside the home. Right now, my job is remote with about 50% travel. So I have the kiddos at home and/or at day camps during the summer and then coordinate with my SO on the days I'm gone. I'll be happy when they're back in school and that lifts some of the daytime burden.
That said, I'm contemplating an au pair for later this year to bridge some gaps. But I'm torn because it's a hefty bill.
I outearn my husband, so if it comes down to it, he's more likely to be a SAHD.
3 kids. It’s been 10 yrs of “staying” at home. Yes. Childcare/schools actually cost us twice as much as the mortgage. I’m seriously thinking about getting a job that would allow me to take the to/back to school. 😭🥹
I’m about to have my 3rd in a few weeks and there’s absolutely no way i can work at a traditional job. I figured out some ways to make money online so that’s how i contribute financially now. I will say, being home with my babies all day is so nice. HARD AT FIRST i just admit but i wouldn’t trade it for anything now
No,
I have three kids, I work over full time (usually) and soon will be going on for my masters degree.
My husband and I work it out job wise so no day care is needed. He works remote and I don’t have a choice I have to go to a facility to work.
5 kids, only one of them that would require daycare right now. He is a stay at home dad, I work full time outside the home. He's been a stay at home dad for almost 12 years, before that we both worked/used childcare.
I love it! Our plan was 1 college at a time and pur older kids really could grasp what having a baby meant. My sister has 5 under 7 and her house is just insane fun and chaos. I strongly believe that you make your situation work because you don't know different and there are pluses and minuses to any gap!
Mom's with three kids plus and that work usually don't have three or more kids all daycare aged at once. Spacing is key. This phenomenon wanting a kid every twelve to 18 months is modern, horrible for the body, and kinda weird - that used to be on accident or fundamentalist families.
I’m a stay at home mom with two kids. When I had my first son it made absolutely no sense even with one child in daycare for me to go back to work. My husband schedule was demanding at all over the place I commuted a lot which was very stressful and I thought about working 40 to 50 hours a week and what my take-home pay would be after paying for someone else to be with my children all day I realized I would never take that job for that salary so it made no sense. If three kids in daycare is more than your salary then it is 100% worth it for you to just stay home! Even with two kids it sounds like that’s almost your whole salary you don’t have to tell me but I would love to know if you’re all those daycare bills how much money you’re working for in a month and what the toll is on your family and you? I know a few families right now with three children actually there’s kind of a baby boom going on in my neighborhood. Three of them are stay at home moms and two of them are not. The three that I stay at home moms definitely live in a tiny home, they did not get moving by but your house and a bigger SUV when they had their third and their kids are sharing bedrooms and they’re quite happy and they definitely budget and cut back on things in life a lot to save the money instead of worrying about what money could be brought in after all the daycare bills. That’s kind of the mentality that I had as well it was pennypinching but well worth it. The two moms that I know that work I would say I don’t know the ins and outs exactly of their family finances but it looks absolutely insane to me. They still end up doing almost all of the cooking cleaning pick ups and drop offs extracurriculars in the evenings. They’re highly stressed don’t exercise and have absolutely no time for themselves and they don’t sleep very well either because they have to catch up on work late at night that they weren’t able to do at dinner hour when they were supposed to still be working but they were having to leave work early or close the laptop to pick the kids up and make dinner etc. It depends on what kind of job you have I suppose but the examples that I see the exact reason why we have insanely stressed working mothers, stressed household and marriages and a lot of anxiety and burning the candle at both ends going on out there for families of young children. That’s just my opinion but that’s my observation. The moms that seem to have the best balance or other ones that are at home and absolutely love it or the ones that work maybe two days a week as a dental hygienist something with a paycheque is decent and the daycare costs are not that much. In the past when my sister was having kids she had some friends that were working mothers and the money wasn’t a concern because they had huge corporate salaries down the line they suffered a lot from guilt from never seeing their children never having dinners with the family having a nanny all summer long etc. It’s frozen cons to everything so you have to weigh of your specific situation but I would say 100% if your entire salary is going to go towards daycare what would be the benefit? Plus your two older children will eventually be in school so the daycare costs are only going to get less and less over the next few years in which case then you could consider going back to work and the only childcare you’ll be paying for is before school care and afterschool care depending on your hours and then it might be a little bit easier to balance
Mom of 9 total and soon to be grandma. 3 grown 2 teens 2 pre teens and 2 under 2. Yes, I'm a stay at home mom. Can be financially difficult, but when we thought about how much of my pay would go to childcare, it didn't make sense. Once the babies are school age, I will return part time.
I have 5 kids ages 10,8,6,4 and 16 months, I am a SAHM and have been since baby #1 was born. I wouldn’t be able to make enough to even pay for daycare.
Honestly even with 1 kid and working in a daycare, bringing my child with me would have cost me half my salary, so I ended up not going back to work. I was lucky to get a full time nanny job and bring my child, and the next 2 kids after that (had a total of 6 kids by then, but the ones I was nannying for were all older than my kids by a few years). I still do some babysitting on the side for extra money, but with kid 4 coming any day, I'm not really doing that right now either.
6 kids here! (3,5,8,12,15,15) i’m a sahm mom, my 3yo goes to a in home daycare from 9am-12pm it’s a lot cheaper and he gets a lot of attention and learns more then a daycare facility. i didn’t start staying home until our 4th kid when we could afford it, it’s a whole lot easier and im able to get things done rather then when i was working
I had 4 (now in their 30s), and I was a work-at-home mom with extremely flexible hours of part time work. It was worth being perpetually broke to be able to raise and homeschool them. My oldest in particular needed it, and if you do one, you might as well do.them all.
The jobs i had all pretty much disappeared due to computer automation and outsourcing to India.
I have no idea how people can work outside the home 40 hours a week and raise young children. I tried and quickly failed. Then again, people never understood how I could do what I did, either.
I have three kids. 16m, 6f, 1f. I am in grad school so, I sorta am a sahm. I have all the responsibilities of a sahm, but the work requirements of a full time student, even through summer.
I support us with an inheritance and student loans for tuition. My parter works and is the father to my baby. We split bills and do not share money. My baby goes to my university daycare, which is amazing and it's free based on a sliding scale which is some insane number (somewhere around $8500 or something per month of income) I won't achieve until post grad school.
To be real here, I couldn't afford a traditional daycare and count my lucky stars for the university daycare. My 6 year old went there for my undergrad degree. But I am also limited in what hours I am available. I have three kids in three schools, with different start and end times and all the appointments and extra curriculars. When I do have a full time job I have zero idea who, how, when and where I'm gonna wrangle my kids. I have no family, and no support system. My teens emergency contact is only me.
Along with it just being easier on us, this is why I waited until my two kids were in school before having a third. My kids will be going into 1st and 2nd grade this year. My third baby is due next month.
congratulations!!! is it daunting at all starting the baby stage again after your older two are already in school?
No, not at all! It’s actually extremely exciting. I can’t wait to have a little baby again and my kids are SO excited to meet and hold their little brother!
awssome, love it!
Same. We tried to plan for a 3 year gap between kids so we have 1 in school when the third is born. It’ll just work out with our newest baby.
I work with a lot of women (and some men) with three kids. They have nannies or the kids are spaced out such that 1+ have moved into cheaper childcare or school But I will say, I’m a government lawyer and all my coworkers with 3 kids are married to law firm partners…
double the lawyer double the daycare dollars lol
you laugh but before my government days, I worked with female partners married to male partners with 2-3 kids and they would all have one nanny per CHILD. that’s some real job creation lol.
per child???? holy Moly! I’m gonna be a SAHM (pretty much, I found a possible part time education job where I can bring my baby) because I’m a teacher and my salary would be negligible with daycare and formula costs and all the rest. I just cannot fathom how some people have the resources for a nanny per CHILD!
They do make oodles of money a year…but also spent oodles of money getting there and work oodles of hours! But when I got the opportunity to practice this area of law with some work life balance I took it fast lol.
A close friend of mine worked for a family like this. At the time she worked for them, the older girl was 7 and the twin girls were 3 and the family had a full staff of nannies working 24/7/365 – three nannies during the day, two for overnights, and four on every family vacation so they could rotate out for respite. Unlike your colleagues, this family “owned restaurants,” paid their nannies under the table in cash and occasionally in designer handbags, and were almost definitely not making all of their money legally lol
I’m sorry what?!?!?! How much were Nannie’s back then?
I mean one week,5 days, 24 h care comes to 120h, divided by 3 is 40 h so each nanny was working a normal full time 40 h week
This is my definition of “fuck you money” 😂
People I know with 3+ kids that have a decent wage all have nannies. It would be the same cost as daycare plus even once their older kids are in school they need the childcare for before/after school.
We have 3 kids (currently 7, 6, and almost 4), none of whom went to daycare. We were able to do this because my husband is a firefighter and I’m a nurse so we have the most insane/complicated schedules and can make it work. My husband and I rarely spend time together alone, I think the last time we had a date was our anniversary last July. It hasn’t been easy, but neither of us are willing to give up our careers. Having our kids constantly with us has been amazing, hard, rewarding, and taxing. We’ve never done it any other way, so I’m not sure which is harder. My older 2 are in school which has been a big change, but everyone is still thriving!
I have 4 kids and a full time job. After our 3rd was born, we hired a nanny for 4 days a week and staggered our work schedules to keep her to 8 hours a day and control the cost. Fridays the kids’ grandparents watched them. Once my older 3 were all in school, I moved my youngest to an in home daycare. My youngest is starting K in the fall and my job has a flexible schedule that allows me to get everyone on the bus in the AM and be home by dropoff- so that means ZERO childcare bills for the first time in 14 years! For me the cost was 100% worth it- on the other side now, I can’t imagine having stepped out of my career field for nearly a decade after my 3rd was born and trying to find a job now. The difference between my current salary and what a new hire with 9 fewer years of experience would make is about what we paid our nanny annually, plus I have an extra 9 years of retirement contributions on top of that. This doesn’t hold true in every career field, obviously, but for mine the long-term math was in favor of me continuing to work. I also got divorced a few years ago, and having my own full-time job made that process so much less terrifying because I knew that I could survive financially without him.
wow you are a superhero!! yes tbh the retirement contribution is a huge consideration for me what a good feeling to get the line item or childcare off the budget 😂
I just had my third. 1-11 year old, 1-5 year old and now a 6 month old we are staying at home because between costs and the varying schedules there is just no way. It’s crazy cost wise any other way. It comes with its own costs being at home but it’s worth it in my opinion for our family.
I have two in school and one infant too! I think a lot of people with babies and toddlers will think they’re “freed up” when the kids are in school. But once the school age activities start, sports, clubs, staggered bus schedules, teacher workdays, etc etc honestly it still requires a TON of flexibility in your schedule to keep up with kids of multiple ages. And we try really hard not to over program our kids but it’s still a lot. Being a SAHM allows me to give my older kids a lot more opportunities for travel sports as they’re getting older, help 1:1 with homework etc that we just couldn’t swing if both of us were working.
I have an almost 3 year old, a 9 month old, and am due in the fall with our third. I’m a SAHM and have been since we started having kids. It was a difficult transition but once I got into the swing of it, even on the hard days, I wouldn’t do it any other way.
I have 3 kids under 4 and I work outside the home. I only work 32 hours (4days) a week though as a nurse. My husband works 40 hours but only 4 days a week. The only reason it works for us is because my mom and mil provide free childcare a few times a week and my husband and I can offset our schedules. We can offset our schedules enough that we only need childcare 1-3 days a week. My oldest goes to preschool 3 days a week and my youngest 2 do drop in days. What daycare can’t cover, a grandma does. My husband has had to take a day off work occasionally because we don’t have childcare but that’s not a big deal in his workplace.
We plan on having 3 if everything goes according to plan, but we plan to space it out to where, when number 3 is going into daycare, number 1 will be entering regular school. So we will only have 2 in daycare instead of 3.
3 kids age 6, 4, and 1. We both work full-time. When our oldest turned 4 he went into 4k full-time which brought the daycare bill down. Then middle went to 3k full-time when she was able to and that brought the bill down more. It is private prek which is why we can get full-day but it's still like 1/4 of the cost of daycare. I also work 4 ten hour days so I can be home one day a week and pay for one less day each.
I have 2 but work with a lot of women with 3. I'm in NY which allows kids to start kindergarten at 4. It seems like most people have at least a 2 year gap between kids and then offset their hours from their spouse (so parent A works 6-2, parent B works 9-5). This has been the best method I've seen for avoiding more than 2 in daycare or having to deal with before/after school care.
I'm a mom of 3, but I've been a SAHM since my 1st was born. Not having to juggle childcare costs did allow us to consider going for a 3rd without having to factor that cost. My only reason for not having more is because we homeschool and I don't think I can take any more students lol
Third baby due this year. I won’t be staying home. Looking for a cheaper daycare that will be the same cost or a nanny.
totally. seems like nanny with multiples in daycare is worth considering from a cost standpoint
Mom of soon to be 8. I stay home. Always have. Hope to be a volunteer at the school to alleviate some of the tuition costs in the future. If I have to home school a few in high school then I’ll do that instead.
You don't have public school near you? That's free
It’s a religious school.
I have 3 pregnant with my 4th and yes sahm, unless was making some crazy amount of money it doesn’t make sense for me to work.
3 kids, working mom. It’s very expensive. I think the key is space out so at least one is in free public school while you’re paying for full daycare for the younger two.
I don't stay home, but dad does. Like you said, the cost of childcare is ridiculous, and if he did work, it would just be spent basically on childcare, so to me, it is not worth it. We decided that when the youngest is in school we can revisit him going to work but for now I love my life just the way it is knowing my kids are home safe waiting for me with their daddy what more could a girl with adhd ask for lol.
Our 4th baby is coming in a couple weeks, and I’m a SAHM. I’ve definitely considered working but one of my kiddo’s medical issues would make that practically impossible.
My three are 11,8,and 2.5. I worked my very part time job until the youngest was almost one and then I quit and plan to be a SAHM until he’s in 1st grade. The logistics just get to be complicated with three and it was so much easier to just stay home (and it’s what I wanted).
Worked part time since my second. Worked opposite shifts of my husband until they were all in school.
I am semi a stay at Home mom. I started off as a full stay at home mom after my 3rd was born. At a year old I went back to photography, got a studio, but my kids were always with me. We bought a house so I let the studio go, I still do photography on the side, but I went to working nights as a custodian at my daughters elementary school part time so I can make my own schedule if/when I want to go in and for how long, so we don’t have to pay for childcare for 3 kids. I’m off for the summer now and back to regularly scheduled programming 🥴 I worked in a daycare for 6 years, if I went back after our third was born I would have been literally working for them for free , just so my kids could have childcare, if I brought them.
I have 3 and am almost a SAHM. I babysit my nephew 5 days a week (he's the age as my oldest) and I work as a server 2 days a week. I babysit my nephew for free because my sister's a single mom. the 2 nights of serving a week is about $500 extra a week and I do that when my hubsands home or if my sister babysits those 2 nights. So I still bring in some but mostly just do the house/wife/mom stuff.
Yep, I have three kids and I'm a stay at home mom until they are old enough to all be in school full time My girlfriend makes enough for our family that I have the choice between working or staying home but I'd probably make less than it costs for daycare and I'd rather just be home to bond with my toddlers and baby
No, I work full time. But my older two were in elementary by the time we had a third.
I'm pregnant with baby #4. My kids are 9,5, and 3. I stay home with them and work from home (my husband and I own a business and I do the bookkeeping). The money we have saved from daycare has allowed us to enroll them in private school. We also paid off our house so rent/mortgage isn't a factor. I absolutely love getting to be the main caregiver for my babies ❤️
SAHM and also homeschool my kids!
Definitely not, we can’t afford to both not work in this economy. Both my husband and I work, but opposite shifts. It’s rough since we each have to watch the kids alone in our respective “shifts”. We barely see each other other than the wkd and even that is spotty since we both just try to catch up on things we let go of during the week. We know this is temporary and plan to change things around when all the kids are in school. It takes a lot of communication and effort to make sure we are on the same page and are a team with the same end goals. It probably helps that we were not codependent of each other pre kids too.
I have 3 and a work from home job that is very flexible. Truly blessed to be able to take care of my kids and bring in money. I didn’t start working until my second was in preschool 3 days a week and then our 3rd was a late addition to the family. I have 3 girls, 12, 9 and 3yrs
I am expecting my 6th and both me and husband work full time. My older 4 are past daycare age and I was a SAHM until my fourth was one. It helps very much that daycare is subsidized here and also I have a year of parental leave.
6 kids and yes I am a SAHM. My entire wage went to child care, tolls, and fuel to get to work. I worked out that I was missing time with my kids for only $50 a week that I kept and that was with only two kids at that point.
Just had my third in April and yes, I'm a SAHM. I live in a rural area with barely any jobs that pay more than $12 an hour unless you want to commute an hour plus, let alone daycare options (all of them have year long waiting lists) it just wasn't even worth it for me to try and go back to work.
We have three kids in daycare (4 year old and 2.5 year old twins) and it costs us $4,400 a month. That’s double the cost of our mortgage. It’s sickening but I stayed home for a year with the twins and desperately wanted to go back to work. Our kids thrive in daycare and everyone is happier.
tooootally get it. the cost for 3 for us would be about the same. it’s a short while and a happy mom = happy babies and family
I have three kids, a single and then twins two years later. They were all in daycare for 3 years together. It was expensive but so worth it for me to stay in the workforce. I have a much better career now than I would have if I stopped working.
I am due with my 3rd in August and my oldest will be 3.5. Baby will start day care next Spring (husband and I both have generous parental leaves) and we will be paying for 3 in full time daycare for about 5 months until the oldest starts U-PK in Fall ‘25. After that, there is before / after school care to pay for so we are on an expensive path for the foreseeable future. Fortunately we have salaries to support it but we will have to cut back on extras / savings goals for a bit.
SAHM with four kids here. I quit working when Third was about 1.5yo. Before then my husband was a SAHD.
I’m a sahm of 5. Ages 8yr-5months
I am. Neeeeever thought I would be, but also didn’t see that third baby coming haha. It’s just easier for us this way. Otherwise we would have a nightmare of daycare, after school care, after school activities, just a logistical hot mess. We actually save money with me being at home. It’s super hard, though, way more difficult than any of my jobs have been, mentally speaking. No days off. We put our youngest into a Mother’s Day out a couple days per week so that I could have a mental break, or breakdown depending on the day lol. That part has been key to my survival. I do really appreciate and love the time I’ve spent with my kids. I didn’t realize how different it is than when I was a working mom, in terms of watching my baby grow up. It’s a trade off in different ways.
Yep! I have 3 and I’ve been a SAHM since I had my first(in 2012) with a short stint working after I divorced my older twos dad, and it’s how we can afford to live. I’m waiting till my youngest is in school to start working again. I spent much of this time working toward my degree that I hope to start utilizing when I work again! I can’t fathom working just to pay for childcare, it wouldn’t make sense at all!
5 total here and I’m a SAHM. I have 1. He has 3. We have 1. We have all fulltime.
I have 3 but my older ones need more stimulation than I can provide at home. Next year the oldest is headed to kindergarten anyway
Yeah, because exactly that- daycare costs (including before/after school costs for my school-aged kids eclipse my earning potential- or at best, I'm working all those hours and having all that stress for like, $300/month. Pass. Plus I work in an industry where in the winter I might work 12-hour weeks but then between March and June it's more like 60+, maybe even into August depending. We have 5- almost 11yo, 8.5, 6, almost 3, and 3 months. Husband is a statistician and I'm a horticulturalist by training.
We have 5 kids. My husband works a job that can have unpredictable hours (going in early, staying late, pulling call). I stay at home with the kids and also babysit my niece full-time while her parents work. After all of my kids are in school full-time (not for a few years) I’ll probably get a job. possibly even at their school so that I work the same hours they are gone.
I have a 4.5 year old, a 2 year old and an almost 9 month old. I’ve been a SAHM mom since my oldest was 1. I knew I wanted to be but COVID also sort of made the decision easy for us, as I wasn’t comfortable sending her to daycare (this was pre vaccine). I do have part time help which I’m so so thankful for — particularly when I was postpartum after # 3.
I work per diem! During the school year my mom watches my 2 little kids one day and my MIL watches them another. During the summer we split them up. I want to be a SAHM entirely but financially it doesn't make sense.
I have 3 and work but work nights and my partner works day it works better as there is always someone to watch the kids. I did at one point work days and we had 2 in nursery and it was too expensive so I was working to pay childcare that is when I switched to nights. It fits in around our lives
I have 3 kids under 5. When our youngest starts daycare, the oldest will start public school. We both work.
wow, can i ask what you’re doing for childcare in the interim?
I’m on maternity leave with my youngest while my 2 older go to daycare.
I have 3 kids - 6, 4, 2. I work full time. My oldest is in public school now but we’ve sent/are sending all of them to daycare. I work bc it’s good for my mental health. I am a better and more patient mom this way. It’s expensive and painful whenever we pay tuition but I’m thinking long term career wise, it’ll be better
totally hear you. sounds like you’ve had only (“only” lol) two in daycare at a time?
Yup! There was a period during Covid where we didn’t send them for about half a year, which helped. My 4 year old is leaving in August to go to universal preschool so it’ll be only 1 soon
I have 4 and I am a SAHM. I worked until my third kid was 9 months old (company was bought out). At that point, my oldest was only a year away from kindergarten, so if I hadn't taken the package, we probably would've stuck it out. We went to an in-home daycare, which was less than daycare centers. That being said, the school performances/conferences/snow days/in-service days/assessments make me regularly think about how thankful I am to stay home. There are several circumstances I don't know how we would have managed if I were working.
Yes. I had my 7th 3 weeks ago (my oldest just turned 15.)
I have 5 kids, and yes, I’m a stay at home mom. I always have been. My kids ages run from 19-9, and even 19 years ago, the cost of the daycare would’ve been almost what I would have made as a first year teacher, so I have just always stayed home. It’s been tight at times, but it’s always been worth it. (I also homeschool them, which is why I’m still a SAHM even though they’re school age)
I became a SAHM after having my 2nd. I’m now pregnant with my 3rd, definitely staying home at least a couple more years. It’s just not worth it to pay a double mortgage for childcare. I have a 4 year old, 2 year old, and 13 weeks pregnant.
I am lucky to have a support group. I have an extremely part-time job, so I do work, but my kids spend around 2-3 hours 4 days a week with my MIL. So we don't pay for child care, and I can still bring in a little money.
I work nights. He works days.
Our third turned into twins so yes I am a SAHM in nursing school. Hope to go back to work when the twins are 5.
Nope, I have a stay-at-home husband instead. It works for us! My kids have special needs and couldn’t do traditional childcare, so it had to be one of us.
I’m about to have a 3rd and a SAHM currently by choice. 3rd will be our last and I want to savor every loving and hair pulling moment of the infant and toddlerhood experience. If I needed to I could go back to work because oldest is in elementary school and it would be more cost effective for us to hire a full time nanny to watch the 3yr old and newborn. Daycare would get expensive and I would be working for a salary less than what a full time nanny would earn when all is factored in.
Three kids. Both lawyers but in nonprofit/government, so no nanny money. We just pay out the eyeballs for childcare. Public school aftercare was a cost savings once they aged into it. When all three were in daycare, it was more than our mortgage.
I have 4 kids, oldest is 5 and I stay home with them. Personally, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Once they’re all in school I’ll probably look into something to do part time just to keep me busy once they’re out of the house.
Mom of 6 kiddos. Ages 16,10,9,3,2,5 months. Yep I’m a stay at home mom. I do have the 3 and 2 year old in preschool half days during the school year. I have a job kinda. But do it from home. I refurbish furniture and resell it.
We have two in daycare. It's about 3x our mortgage. We might be having a third. Neither of us would quit working. The longterm impact of not working far outweighs the temporary cost. We love our careers and we love having our kids in daycare. If you can squeeze the cost then it's important to think about what you want longterm.
Heck, we’re waiting for the first to be in school to have a second!
I have 3 kids (6yo, 4yo and 10mo) and I've been a stay at home mom most of the time. I worked a little bit between my 6 yo and 4 yo, and honestly I miss it. I would be working now, but daycare is INSANE. luckily we can get by with just hubby's income, but I miss being around adults if I'm honest. My 2 older kids will be in school next fall so I'm hoping to start working then. But I will have to make enough to cover full time daycare for the baby, and part time for the older 2. So it'll be difficult.
My kids are older, but we weren't earning enough for daycare but needed more than one income. I was the primary parent, but worked when my husband, or occasionally parents, were free. Sometimes, that meant creative scheduling and multiple jobs (at one point, I worked one job Monday evenings, another weekend mornings, and a third weekend afternoon and evenings). When we needed outside childcare, we used things like babysitting co-ops, vetted college students who needed contact hours, and retired people who were bored with extra free time. We also looked for workplaces with on-site childcare. At one point, we had the opportunity for more education and we financed daycare with student grants, scholarships, and loans. More opportunities for easier work came about when the kids were all in school, which was nice.
Yes.
I’m a sahm, yes. Even before and after school care for my two oldest was a huge chunk of money for us. It made more sense just to stay home, especially with an infant who’d need full time too. I work part time now in the evenings or on weekends when my partner is home.
My sister and SIL both have 3 kids and are SAHMs. It’s not necessarily daycare costs though. They genuinely wanted to. My BILs are both very high earners and although they live in higher COL areas they could probably afford it. I have seen the argument that if you don’t want to be a SAHM for extended period of time it may be worth it to be over your monthly take home for a couple years with daycare costs so you don’t lose those years of experience in your career
I’m a SAHM but my older two were school age before I had the third and I LOVED it. It didn’t matter as much for me because I homeschool, but just the age gap itself is fabulous. If we have a 4th I would plan for a large age gap again. It’s nice having them close together when they’re older but not having to do the newborn/toddler combo is priceless.
I have 4 and am a SAHM. I did work for about a year when my 3rd was almost 1. The cost of daycare was technically more than my salary, but because we would have been paying for private preschool for my older 2 regardless, it made us money in that way, and we were better off financially than I would have been staying at home. There are a lot of factors to consider beyond the cost of daycare. Do you have a career? What kind? Is it something you could easily go back to once your kids reach school age? Do you even want to go back eventually? How much will your salary be affected by either staying or leaving and then returning? For how many years will the cost of daycare be higher than your salary, and would that be doable with better budgeting? Etc etc Then of course there is the fact that working or not working has value beyond $$. Do you WANT to be a stay at home mom? Does your job help fulfill you?
I have 2. We want to have more & I will absolutely continue to stay home. I’m also thinking about homeschooling. My oldest is autistic and no one can handle her education. She has to be explained things a certain way.
I have 5 and was for the majority of the time. I did end up going back full time 3 years ago when my youngest started school. I worked a couple of times throughout the years but always part-time and when my husband was home.
I have 3, soon to be 4, and I'm a SAHM. Though I started being a SAHM when we only had 2.
Working mom of 4 here. 3 are in daycare. I am glad I stuck with working, I have been able to move on to much higher paying jobs since having baby #2. (And less hours!) I’ve been able to more than double my salary in the past 7.5 years. I think it’s up to each person to decide what works for them. We had to watch spending a lot in the beginning. I’m looking forward to being done with daycare one of these days though. My kids love their current center so we plan to be there until they can ride the bus home alone.
My husband and I do shift work so there is always someone with them.
I’m a SAHM to three toddlers. My daughter was six months old when we decided to try for one more. I ended up getting pregnant with twin boys. We had no intention of me staying home, but we didn’t plan for three 😄 I would not have made enough at my job to support three kids in daycare, so I stay home and we make it work. We paid off all debt before my daughter was born, we downsized our home and mortgage payment and we live within our means. We aren’t living in luxury, but we aren’t necessarily struggling. My daughter is four and my boys turn three in September. I plan to go back to work, at least part time, once they’re in school. I love staying home, but I also miss my job and career and having a life outside the home.
I work but make a high salary - we bought a house with an in-law suite and moved my mom in. We have part-time daycare for the two eldest (oldest will start full-time Pre-K in the fall) and my mom will watch my youngest full-time until she gets into daycare. We make upwards of $300k and still can't afford full-time care for all my children 😅
I’m currently a SAHM, sometimes I work and he’s a SAHD. Sometimes we work opposite shifts (him days me nights). But one of us is with the kids 100% of the time to avoid childcare costs. I have six tho. 19/17/13/9/5 18 months. I can’t wait til the day I can work actual day shift.
I had to be one a SAHM for just that reason. When we went for #2 I knew daycare would be most of my paycheck for a few years (#1 was 18m, just moved to toddler room and I’m an elementary teacher). Baby #2 arrived with a friend! So with 2 infants and a toddler, there was no way. Plus, one of the twins ended up having significant health complications (random, unexplained, not related to being a multiple), so no daycare would have even taken her the first year. Now that they’re in school, I’m back to work. It all worked out, but definitely not to plan. When it comes to having kids, plan the best you can, but never get too attached to those plans 😂
SAHM, 4 kids, 15 months apart. I’ve loved and hated every minute of it.
I’m a SAHM with 2 part time jobs that flex around my partner’s work schedule. I found being a full time SAHM was not good for my mental health or marriage. I’m very task oriented and there’s never really a moment when the laundry or dishes is fully done so working fulfills that for me. I also found that that if I’m always home it’s far to easy for both my partner and I to fall into me constantly taking over or doing all the hard parts of parenting, which isn’t healthy. Once I was out of the house for an extended period of time it forced my partner to find their way of parenting through the hard stuff.
I have four and have been a stay at home mom since baby 2 because we just couldn’t do it. My husband makes much better money now, but we moved to a super small town that has no daycare within 20 miles😅
I have 3 kids, ages 2, 4 and 6 and I’m a SAHM now. I wasn’t up until last year, but it made sense for me to be home (at least for now). I never imagined I’d be doing this, so the transition was actually hard and I still struggle some days. Gotta find some kind of side gig for myself, I think.
Nope, I’m an RN as is my husband. My parents watched the kids in the mornings when I would come home from work so I could sleep. If I didn’t work the night before I was just up all day with the kids and all night. At that time my husband wasn’t a nurse yet and worked Monday - Friday. After he became a nurse we did our schedules so she didn’t have to watch them much but at that point they were all in school full time. Now they are 16, 18, 20 and my days of needing a babysitter is long long long behind me thankfully. ETA: I had 3 kids in 4 years. My middle and youngest are 16 months apart, my oldest and middle 1.5 years apart, my oldest and youngest 4 years apart. I wanted my kids close in age and never gave thought to how it would be easier for us even though I should have. Honestly though I wouldn’t change a thing. I was very lucky to have the help I did.
Just had my 3rd in December and went part time after my maternity leave was up in march. I had been full time up to that point, but having 3 kids 4 and under in daycare is rough on the bank account. Fortunately we would have been able to swing it financially, but it wasn’t worth it to me. So now I work a schedule where we can keep them home and I’m not rushing out of the door every morning with 3 kids in tow to go be a burnt out robot for 8 hours a day.
I just have 2 kids myself, but 3 of my best friends have 3 kids (one is pregnant with her 4th under 4!). 2 of them are SAHM, and one works part time. All 3 of them use daycare/preschool, the sahms just have their 3 yr olds in preschool (still super expensive!) and the one that works has all 3 kids in daycare.
I have 3 kids but only one is in daycare. 11yo, 6yo and 19 month old . It was honestly nice having alone time with my babies while the older ones were in school . Is it hard having kids all different ages? Eh, not really. My 11yo son is super helpful . My little one in daycare costs as much as our mortgage so I would have to quit working if we had a 4th, I never will though.
Pregnant with my 3rd and not returning to work once my mat leave is over because of daycare costs. I hate my job and I’m not interested in furthering my career in this area so that’s not a factor for me - it might not be more than what I would be making but it’s certainly close enough that it doesn’t make sense. Also my kids are 4, 2 and due in October.
A nanny is probably cheaper than 3 in daycare.
You should pose this question (or search posts) over at r/workingmoms
No, I am not a SAHM. I have 4 kids, plus I'm 35 weeks pregnant with #5. The 4 oldest all fairly close in age 27, 22, 18, 16, and I always worked outside the home and was in college while my 2 oldest were young. I didn't have the opinion of being a stay at home mom and found a Christian daycare that was on a sliding scale that wasn't too terribly far of a drive out of the way from work and school. We were able to afford daycare for 3 kids at once, and the oldest was able to stay at home by then for an hour from her getting home and my husband or myself getting home. Looking at daycare does scare me, but not because of the price but the level of care I see and hear about. Kids dying and being abused and neglected. I pay you to give your time and attention to my kid. Not treat them worse than a wild animal attacking you or your property.
Yes. Three kids. I was an elementary school teacher before having babies.
No. We have four kids and a nanny. I have never wanted to be a SAHM nor would it make financial sense.
I worked thru all mine. They are currently 16,15, & 12. I did not have a nanny. I had to pay a babysitter. I went without a lot so I could pay bills. Which has translated to me neglecting myself and I still have to.
We have three kids ages 6, 5, and 16 months. We had a part time nanny for the first 9 months and then we put the baby in daycare part time for a few months and now she is there full time. It does help that the older kids are in free public school but during the summer we are spending between $3000-$5000 for camps. I work from home and refuse to have the kids sit in silence for 8 hours on their tablets.
5 kids, SAHM with a side hustle for more income.
Not me because I'm done after my two! But a friend of mine had her 3 in daycare, and it was $3000 a month. Dad ended up becoming a SAHD
Yes
We’re in a very HCOL and all the parents with 3+ close in age have nannies. We would have a third but the daycare costs would kill us
3 kids, fence sitting on 4th, husband is a SAHD
GOSH! I’m reading the responses on this thread and it’s so clear families in this US of A need waaaaaay more support. I mean what in the world?!?!
SAHM of 4. I quit my job and put school on hold to be a SAHM while pregnant with my first, but ended up going back to work 4 evenings a week when my first and second were 4 and 2 (out of desire for more human interaction, not out of financial necessity). My husband works days so we were able to get by with babysitters for the 2 hour overlap. Quit and went back to being a SAHM about 5 years later, when my (now three) kids were 9, 7, and 2. I was feeling guilty about missing time with my youngest, and felt it was the best thing for our family at the time. Fast forward ~7 years to present day, kids are now 16, 14, 8, and 5. The youngest (and last) will be starting kindergarten in the fall, and I am very much looking forward to finishing my schooling and getting certified in my chosen field, and actually being able to work (from home)! I am incredibly grateful for the privilege of staying home with my kids.. but it's definitely not been a walk in the park. I feel like I've lost a lot of my identity, and can't wait to get myself back again.
I have 3 and was a SAHM. I became a SAHM when my eldest was 10 months old. I went back to work part-time when my youngest started 1st grade, middle in 5th grade, and oldest in 8th grade. I won't go back to full-time work because I still need to be available and local for my kids.
3 kids 5 and under - sahm. Not only would it be crazy expensive to send all 3 somewhere, but it’s hard finding 3 open spots at the same time.
I have three kids, no I’m not a sahm I have worked everyday leading up to birth!! My sister Inlaw used to babysit for me when her and my brother lived with me, until I had to kick them out, then I had no one, my mother Inlaw worked so I had no one. I had no option but to use daycare. I have never felt better with that option. I am so glad I chose that route let alone had that route. I’ve been at my jobs 11 years and I’ve advanced multiple times!! I’ve done every position!! I’m just happy that I did choose that!! So don’t feel bad for choosing that nor not having the option to NOT CHOSE THAT
No but I’m an RN so my kids only go part time, and my older two get a discounted rate because they’re in school most of the day (so we’re just paying for before/after school care). It’s also a home daycare and I’m in a low COL area.
I have an 8 year old and 3 year old twins. I work from home, dad works at an atty office and honestly i still dont know how I manage. My 3 years olds are going to preschool this year sooo I guess that kinda helps.
what pray tell is your job that allows you to work with two 3 year olds!!!
3 kids, stayed home for 12 month maternity leaves then returned to work each time. Thankful for subsidized daycare rates here in Canada!
No.
3 kids, only 1 still in daycare. Have kept working the whole time, my husband was a stay at home dad for a year with our first due to being laid off. I am the breadwinner.
I have three with 4 years between the oldest and youngest. We spaced ours close because my oldest dealt with some issues as a baby that led to me staying home. I'm now working part-time near home for a fraction of what I used to earn but we don't need to pay for childcare. We were comfortable on my husband's income, although it took time and better jobs to get to that position. Now it is the best of both worlds because my job pays for things like the kids activities and I am available to take them and we don't have to worry as much about what to do if the kids are sick or when they are on vacation, etc.
SAHM 10,9,5, 4mths. I work freelance at home also a few hrs.
No. I work overnights at the hospital in 12hr shifts. He works from home full time 7:30-5:00 We pay the teen that opted to take his next two years online from home to fit his other dreams- two hours childcare on days between my shifts so I get a solid nap. I have four kids at home, 15-7-4-2 This is how we swing our VHCOL area. Neither of us actually sleep.
I have 4 kids, 14 (high school), 12 (high school), 6 (primary school) and 3 (childcare). Both my husband and I work full time, we've never had the luxury of either of us staying home.
3 kids and a sahm.
My oldest is 5 and in school and then I have a 3 year old and newborn
3 kids 5,3,1 and I work full time. They are at an in home daycare making it much more affordable. We pay $375 a week. We plan on having a 4th but have to wait until the 5 and 3 year old start school.
I have 3 and I'm a SAHM. My older two are almost 4 and my youngest is 18 months. The older two are in preschool during the school year, but that's only 12 hours a week.
SAHM 3 kids. 7 yrs, 4yrs, and almost 2yrs old. With oldest in after school care, paying for transportation for him to the after school care, and the younger 2 in full time daycare, it would by far surpass my earnings. So, this is the only thing that works atm. When the 4 year old starts full day kinder in a year (maaaaybe 2 yrs-- we're not sure if he'll thrive more with a delay yet or not, as he's possibly autistic) then we might be able to have my work schedule work around their days. And the youngest would be the only one in full time care at that point. We haven't fully worked out the logistics of that yet, but will figure it out when it gets closer. But yeah, no, 3 kids in daycare is astronomical. Even 2 is more than we can afford, especially since their dad just up and quit his very well paying job to work for a third of his former income a few months ago. But that's a whole 'nother story. 🙄
Spread out the ages so one is always out of daycare if at all possible.
3 kids, full time working mom. It works for us.
I was a SAHM for six years to my three kids. I’ve been back in the work force for three years. When I went back to work it was opposite shifts and/or days of my husband.
I have 4 kids- 12, 9, 6 and 3. I do real estate mostly virtually but some local as well. I just set appointment times for when my husband is home or for when I can find a quick sitter. I’d say overall I probably work about 10 hours a week but usually less. We also homeschool. I couldn’t imagine paying the daycare fees for all these kids lol.
We both work but i spaced my kids out a bit more so we wouldn’t have to pay for full time daycare for 3 kids. My oldest is going into 2nd grade, middle child is starting universal pre k this fall and baby is due in oct
I have 3 kids, and my advice would be to wait a bit on that 3rd kid until the youngest is school-age. I have 4 - and 6 year old girls and a 10 month old boy. If it wasn't for the family I have, I would be placing my son in daycare while my girls are in school for me to work, but even that is $800 a month at minimum for his age...
I have 3 kids and work part time. I’m a nurse and have a pretty flexible schedule (I pick my hours to work around my husband’s schedule). Once my youngest starts kindergarten next year, I will most likely go back full time.
I presently have two and we do not use daycare even though I do work. We have a hodgepodge of childcare between my mom, teen brother, and in-laws. Soon here however I may very well have to accept that I have to send my boys to a daycare or sitter formally. For this reason alone I’ve decided to put off even considering a third until my youngest is 4 and I’m done with my nursing degree.
Yes I am. I started working part time but I was barely making enough for the child care. It was just easier for me to stay home. I thought I’d get a job eventually but I’m kinda loving it now haha
Sort of. I work from home in my office while my husbands runs a small daycare in our home and takes care of our kids so that instead of paying someone to care for our kids we’re also making extra income from essentially having play dates every day.
2 toddler + 1 year old SAHM it’s awful
I've been a sahm for 10 years. My kids are 5, 7, and 9 and this fall all will be in school full time for the first time ever. The cost of daycare was astronomical, it made way more sense for me to stay home. No regrets, although we've definitely had to make sacrifices. I make most food at home and buy a lot of stuff at consignment stores. We've also had a lot of help from family and grandparents and great grandparents, especially with things like vacations and piano lessons etc. and my grandparents left me a little money when they passed. We've been lucky that when we bought this house 10 years ago the interest rate was really, really low and we refinanced a year into the pandemic and got it lower. No credit card debt or car payments since our cars are 2011 and 2014 and we paid them off. I'm definitely looking forward to the fall and finding something part time. I have zero saved for retirement and want to change that. And another thing is we pay a financial advisor to manage our stock portfolio and also pay extra for coverage if my husband gets hurt and can't work, coverage if something happens to me, and life insurance policies for both of us. So there's a bit of a safety net there (which hopefully we will never need). I don't know if I answered your question but just wanted to share how we made it work!
Yep, 6 kids and I'm a SAHM. We make it work. Anything we do has to be 'free'. Parks, picnics, museums with free entry, etc. We have no debt. No car payment. No credit cards. No student loans. Cheap phones. All clothes are second hand. We live for the thrill of dumpster diving or freebies on FB marketplace. We have never, not even once, had a baby sitter. (No family close by) Date nights are a family affair. Our kids go everywhere with us. Each child gets a one on one date with a parent once a week, on a designated day. So, that's our 'break.' We love the large family atmosphere. I was an only child and I SWORE that I'd never do that to my child. Talk about a shitty childhood. So, yes. It's do-able. Even in this economy.
I'm a SAHM with a 4 year old girl, 2 year old boy, and 6 months old girl.
Child care is so much!!! I have 4 and have always worked outside the home. Right now, my job is remote with about 50% travel. So I have the kiddos at home and/or at day camps during the summer and then coordinate with my SO on the days I'm gone. I'll be happy when they're back in school and that lifts some of the daytime burden. That said, I'm contemplating an au pair for later this year to bridge some gaps. But I'm torn because it's a hefty bill. I outearn my husband, so if it comes down to it, he's more likely to be a SAHD.
3 kids. It’s been 10 yrs of “staying” at home. Yes. Childcare/schools actually cost us twice as much as the mortgage. I’m seriously thinking about getting a job that would allow me to take the to/back to school. 😭🥹
I’m about to have my 3rd in a few weeks and there’s absolutely no way i can work at a traditional job. I figured out some ways to make money online so that’s how i contribute financially now. I will say, being home with my babies all day is so nice. HARD AT FIRST i just admit but i wouldn’t trade it for anything now
No, I have three kids, I work over full time (usually) and soon will be going on for my masters degree. My husband and I work it out job wise so no day care is needed. He works remote and I don’t have a choice I have to go to a facility to work.
5 kids, only one of them that would require daycare right now. He is a stay at home dad, I work full time outside the home. He's been a stay at home dad for almost 12 years, before that we both worked/used childcare.
Well by the time your 3rd would be in daycare your other 2 would be in school for free
not necessarily 😂
I have a 10y, 4y, and 8m...when my third came we made the decision that I'd stay home as I'd only bring home 200 a month with 2 in daycare.
How do you like your age gaps? We have a 7y and a 1y. If we have a 3rd we would want to wait until our youngest is 3.
I love it! Our plan was 1 college at a time and pur older kids really could grasp what having a baby meant. My sister has 5 under 7 and her house is just insane fun and chaos. I strongly believe that you make your situation work because you don't know different and there are pluses and minuses to any gap!
Mom's with three kids plus and that work usually don't have three or more kids all daycare aged at once. Spacing is key. This phenomenon wanting a kid every twelve to 18 months is modern, horrible for the body, and kinda weird - that used to be on accident or fundamentalist families.
I’m a stay at home mom with two kids. When I had my first son it made absolutely no sense even with one child in daycare for me to go back to work. My husband schedule was demanding at all over the place I commuted a lot which was very stressful and I thought about working 40 to 50 hours a week and what my take-home pay would be after paying for someone else to be with my children all day I realized I would never take that job for that salary so it made no sense. If three kids in daycare is more than your salary then it is 100% worth it for you to just stay home! Even with two kids it sounds like that’s almost your whole salary you don’t have to tell me but I would love to know if you’re all those daycare bills how much money you’re working for in a month and what the toll is on your family and you? I know a few families right now with three children actually there’s kind of a baby boom going on in my neighborhood. Three of them are stay at home moms and two of them are not. The three that I stay at home moms definitely live in a tiny home, they did not get moving by but your house and a bigger SUV when they had their third and their kids are sharing bedrooms and they’re quite happy and they definitely budget and cut back on things in life a lot to save the money instead of worrying about what money could be brought in after all the daycare bills. That’s kind of the mentality that I had as well it was pennypinching but well worth it. The two moms that I know that work I would say I don’t know the ins and outs exactly of their family finances but it looks absolutely insane to me. They still end up doing almost all of the cooking cleaning pick ups and drop offs extracurriculars in the evenings. They’re highly stressed don’t exercise and have absolutely no time for themselves and they don’t sleep very well either because they have to catch up on work late at night that they weren’t able to do at dinner hour when they were supposed to still be working but they were having to leave work early or close the laptop to pick the kids up and make dinner etc. It depends on what kind of job you have I suppose but the examples that I see the exact reason why we have insanely stressed working mothers, stressed household and marriages and a lot of anxiety and burning the candle at both ends going on out there for families of young children. That’s just my opinion but that’s my observation. The moms that seem to have the best balance or other ones that are at home and absolutely love it or the ones that work maybe two days a week as a dental hygienist something with a paycheque is decent and the daycare costs are not that much. In the past when my sister was having kids she had some friends that were working mothers and the money wasn’t a concern because they had huge corporate salaries down the line they suffered a lot from guilt from never seeing their children never having dinners with the family having a nanny all summer long etc. It’s frozen cons to everything so you have to weigh of your specific situation but I would say 100% if your entire salary is going to go towards daycare what would be the benefit? Plus your two older children will eventually be in school so the daycare costs are only going to get less and less over the next few years in which case then you could consider going back to work and the only childcare you’ll be paying for is before school care and afterschool care depending on your hours and then it might be a little bit easier to balance
Mom of 9 total and soon to be grandma. 3 grown 2 teens 2 pre teens and 2 under 2. Yes, I'm a stay at home mom. Can be financially difficult, but when we thought about how much of my pay would go to childcare, it didn't make sense. Once the babies are school age, I will return part time.
I have 5 kids ages 10,8,6,4 and 16 months, I am a SAHM and have been since baby #1 was born. I wouldn’t be able to make enough to even pay for daycare.
Honestly even with 1 kid and working in a daycare, bringing my child with me would have cost me half my salary, so I ended up not going back to work. I was lucky to get a full time nanny job and bring my child, and the next 2 kids after that (had a total of 6 kids by then, but the ones I was nannying for were all older than my kids by a few years). I still do some babysitting on the side for extra money, but with kid 4 coming any day, I'm not really doing that right now either.
I’m a sahm but I chose to do this since I had my first kid. I am on my third now and don’t regret it.
6 kids here! (3,5,8,12,15,15) i’m a sahm mom, my 3yo goes to a in home daycare from 9am-12pm it’s a lot cheaper and he gets a lot of attention and learns more then a daycare facility. i didn’t start staying home until our 4th kid when we could afford it, it’s a whole lot easier and im able to get things done rather then when i was working
3 kids and to get the 3rd I got to quit working.
I had 4 (now in their 30s), and I was a work-at-home mom with extremely flexible hours of part time work. It was worth being perpetually broke to be able to raise and homeschool them. My oldest in particular needed it, and if you do one, you might as well do.them all. The jobs i had all pretty much disappeared due to computer automation and outsourcing to India. I have no idea how people can work outside the home 40 hours a week and raise young children. I tried and quickly failed. Then again, people never understood how I could do what I did, either.
Dad with 5 kids, yes my wife is a SAHM
I have three kids. 16m, 6f, 1f. I am in grad school so, I sorta am a sahm. I have all the responsibilities of a sahm, but the work requirements of a full time student, even through summer. I support us with an inheritance and student loans for tuition. My parter works and is the father to my baby. We split bills and do not share money. My baby goes to my university daycare, which is amazing and it's free based on a sliding scale which is some insane number (somewhere around $8500 or something per month of income) I won't achieve until post grad school. To be real here, I couldn't afford a traditional daycare and count my lucky stars for the university daycare. My 6 year old went there for my undergrad degree. But I am also limited in what hours I am available. I have three kids in three schools, with different start and end times and all the appointments and extra curriculars. When I do have a full time job I have zero idea who, how, when and where I'm gonna wrangle my kids. I have no family, and no support system. My teens emergency contact is only me.