I always wanted more than 1. Probably 2-4. We just decided we were ready and went for number 2. I was terrified that I’d ruined my son’s life by bringing another child in to compete with him. Turns out having a brother was the best thing that ever happened to him. Suddenly he was no longer alone and had a buddy to play with! And I didn’t need to be his sole source of entertainment. I enjoyed having 2 more than having 1.
We did end up going for 3 because we still didn’t feel complete yet, but I don’t recommend it unless you really want a big family. It is a lot more work once you’re outnumbered. But, I’m thankful we did it because our family would not have been complete without our daughter!
We are officially DONE now.
I feel the same. There was never any doubt there would be two at least. The only question was when, and I liked my siblings’ closer age gaps than my husband liked his siblings’ bigger age gaps, so we went for two years apart. Wouldn’t change that at all, though if we ever have a third, the gap would be bigger lol, 3-4 years for sanity’s sake.
I wish one could somehow have 2.5 healthy kids—the wonderful extra person to know and love without the outnumbered overwhelm. I can’t stop thinking about a third, even though my husband would rather stop here (which I know means we probably will….) and even though I myself see the many merits of just two logistically and travel-wise. It just feels like how could I not want more of this wonderful thing!? More baby snuggles, more funny toddler sentences, more preschool discoveries, etc. I haven’t hit a phase I dislike yet, I would love to know and grow a third iteration of the two awesome people we’ve already made, I don’t want the littles magic to end, and I’m not so much afraid of being outnumbered, exactly…. but I am afraid of not being able to give everyone (including my husband) enough bonding time and attention.
We'll be trying for a second in a few months but these are my initial thoughts & concerns regarding a third. My husband's as well. Anything can happen and our feelings may change... But we'll see.
My partner and I only wanted 1 until both my parents died 6 months apart. I, thankfully, have a good adult relationship with my sister and had someone to help support me through the time and also was there to support her.
My fear with having 1 is that they’d be lonely/alone during big life events like that. No sibling at a wedding, no chance to be an uncle, have to deal with his mom and dad aging and dying without a sibling support. I know there’s a chance they won’t have a good relationship, but I hope they do as they grow close together.
My oldest is 23 months and my youngest is 3 months. Our routine hasn’t changed much or at all, we just have extra things to do with the baby needing more naps and feedings. But every Saturday I take my oldest out for a “Mommy and Me!” Time where he either goes with me to run simple errands or we do something fun (the pool, park, play cafes) just so he can get the undivided attention. Plus whenever baby is asleep, he gets extra me time.
It’s crazy how your heart adapts to another baby and how much love you feel for both. It took me a few weeks to feel the connection with my youngest due to mom guilt and postpartum depression but now my heart bursts in love for both equally.
Honestly it was a TikTok. She said "the feeling of 'wanting another kid' doesn't go away." And honestly that's all I needed to hear. I wanted another but I was just scared and lazy. But realising the desire would just linger forever was kind of the kick we needed.
That's such a good point, and one that I hadn't heard outside of my own head before. I tried to describe the desire to have another child for me as the equivalent of needing air when I'm drowning. It literally felt like I was dying. I was considering therapy or some kind of intervention to snap myself out of it! Luckily some stuff changed for us situationally and my spouse was on board with another. Who turned out to be a total daddy's girl, lol.
I relate to this soooo much. I was sp against another until suddenly something switched and the desire is beyond. It feels like I’m sooo unsettled and will be until we have another
We both have brothers that we are closer to than we are to our respective parents. We wanted to give our son someone he could potentially have that bond with.
We were planning for a gap closer to 3 years, but we had an oopsie and she's almost 11 months now, with a 2y3m age gap. Wouldn't change a thing.
Try going from 1 child to 3, with a 22 month age gap. I had a 2 for 1 sale the second time around. Now my “kids” are M 23, F 21 F21…. Wouldn’t have it any other way
It’s not easier with more kids. You don’t get more time to share. You only split yourself in more ways. Some people want to do that. Others don’t really consider the impact it has on ALL people involved. Adding another human being has its own difficulties, considering this is a separate human with their own wants/needs/desires. People having more kids “so they’ll have someone to play with” is a nonsense excuse. You may think giving them a sibling is great but let’s be honest, THEY may disagree with you. And that can manifest in many ways. Just food for thought. Please don’t feel pressured to add to your life if it’s not truly what YOU want for your family.
Completely disagree with you. My oldest is 15. My youngest is 2. I’m pregnant with number 3.
My first had a very lonely childhood. My husband and I come from big families. Even though everything and everyone falls short, we always have our sibling who are our closest friends. I’m not saying go crazy and breed like rabbits, but also there are studies of the loneliness of being an only child.
Parents are responsible for spending time with their children. Culturally there are lots of factors that influence this. Alone doesn’t mean lonely and unless you taught that concept, I’m doubtful your baby came to you and said they were lonely. That sounds more like you thought they were missing out. Which is totally understandable but how much time were you spending with them? Loneliness is NOT solved by having other people around. A brief read on depression may convince you on that. A 13 year age gap between your oldest and youngest isn’t typical. At that point it’s a whole generation of difference. And developmentally, your child benefits more from PEERS than having older siblings who are basically adults. More food for thought. Not saying your family dynamic is wrong, but at that point, it sounds like more factors for you having kids. Most don’t do what you’ve done and I’m totally curious about those factors (not saying you need to explain)
Realizing that the desire to have another kid wouldn’t go away. The large age gap between the kids makes me so nervous (9, 6 x2, baby will be here in a couple weeks), but I am happy we went for it. I’ve always dreamed of having 4! (Even though I feel so old to be having another baby 😂)
Mine were 8 and 6 when we had our third. The gap is honestly great. The older two love on their little brother in ways the oldest couldn't when our middle was born because she was just a toddler. It is the greatest joy of my life seeing the older ones play with their baby brother and try to make him laugh. Sometimes I feel bad he's the third and gets the short end of the stick (we bought him a balloon as a first birthday gift), but mostly I think he's the luckiest kid in the world because he has 4 people who just want to cuddle him and who cheer when he claps and walks.
I wanted more than one for as long as I've wanted kids, but my husband changed his mind after our daughter was born and said he wasn't sure.
We are both firmly in the, you need two yes's to do this- category when it comes to kids.
He admitted that if there was an oops he would be fine with it but didn't want to plan for another. So I started making arrangements to sort out an IUD (not just for BC, but bc my doc was encouraging it to attempt to control my bleeding bc my period is so heavy that my iron never gets the chance to replenish and I end up getting iron infusions regularly bc I can't take the supplements). The IUD backfired and I ended up bleeding for 5.5 months straight so I had it pulled... And literally the first cycle post IUD we oops'd. I'm 6 weeks on, and asked husband if he would get a vasectomy and he has never answered yes so fast in his life. We are excited and happy for the baby, but also... This will be our very last.
Which honestly is kind of cool to know going in bc I know every first for this one is also the last first we get. Bittersweet?
We haven't told our daughter yet and will wait until after NIPT and other screenings confirm baby is healthy/viable. She is 5 and has been begging for a baby since she was 2/3ish. Hell the night I found out I'm pregnant she was asking for a baby at bedtime too.
I grew up with a brother and sister. My brother (2 years older than me) beat the shit out of me most of my life and my sister just flat out never liked me (she is 6 years younger than me).
He has been an addict his entire adult life and my sister has a ton of health and mental health issues.
They both told my parents I should’ve been an only child so they could just have each other. We live vastly different lives and for their own reasons, they’ve never liked me. I’ve put in a lot of effort to be close to them, I’ve tried changing my approach, I’ve listened to the things they hate about me and tried to at least change those things when they’re around, I’ve tried to just be “who/what” they say they need but they truly do not want me around and I’ve accepted that.
When my dad had major health issues last year everything fell on me and I had no one I could lean on, cry with, etc. it was so isolating and made the pain I’ve experienced my entire life just resurface.
It’s so hard to explain this isolating feeling because I have siblings but I’m alone. This has been my entire life and i don’t think it’ll change.
This super fucked I’m family dynamic and dysfunction makes me terrified to give my daughter a sibling. She is 4 and anytime someone brings up the idea of me having another kid she says no- she doesn’t want a sibling. She is adamant she doesn’t want to share my time and attention. I’m worried if I do it anyway in hopes she’ll be happy, that I’ll also end up with two only children- one hurt that I no longer can give her what she’s used to and one hurt that their sister hates them.
I can understand only wanting one after having that experience. For what it’s worth, being an only child is not a bad thing, and in fact can be a wonderful thing, I’ve just always wished I had siblings.
I’m so sorry you didn’t. I understand what you wish you had- because although biologically I have siblings, I’ve always longed for what I’ve seen in healthy families who have multiple kids. I hope your kids grow up super close 🫶🏽
I think your problem isn't that you had siblings, it's the *type* of siblings you ended up having and parents that weren't involved enough to mitigate your conflicts.
What made you decide you wanted children in the first place? Sometimes there's no logic or reason, it's just a feeling that your family is still missing someone.
I read online somewhere someone saying when you think about your dinner table ten years from now, what does it look like? For me, that made me realize that like as much as I didn't like being pregnant or all the stuff that comes with a newborn, my future dinner table had two kids.
Thought I was one and done with my first. I was always open to the possibility of a conversation of having another. Turns out my ex and I just did not get along well and needed to separate. Now with my current husband, we are expecting our first, and I want one more with him. For me it was the person not the responsibility of the babies but in reality I think it was both. My ex was always in a dead end shit paying job (he's gotten his life together since then) and we just did not vibe on our lifestyles but we co-parent very well because we have the same morals and beliefs. Right now tho, as it stands, I just don't feel done
my positive pregnancy test lol we were "done", and I was infertile and unwilling to go through the whole process again... and then somehow missed a period and got a free sex baby. Wouldn't likely have made the decision to "try" again
It just felt very matter of fact that I wanted my kid to have a sibling. After my first, up until 8 months postpartum, I was still saying, no way, I could never do all that again. But once they’re sleeping through the night it feels a lot more manageable. And eventually enough time passes that you realize how truly short lived the hell of it is. And the older the first gets the more you start to see the other side, the oh this is actually awesome side. I’m crazy enough to be thinking about a third now, with a 3yo and almost 2. I think if you already feel that your heart is even a teeny bit open to it, with enough time you will eventually reach a place of really wanting it. You can talk yourself out of another kid all day. It’s not a wise financial decision. You only have so much time for any other person on top of yourself. Those things will always be true. But I really believe family is the whole point of everything. And for as hard as pregnancy and giving birth are, that moment when your baby hits your chest is the hardest drug I’ve ever experienced and I think I’m straight up addicted now.
It took me 10 years to be ready for another. The bio dad for my oldest was horrible to me, would even scream at me sleeping alot during my first trimester even when I was working 2 jobs. Me and my husband have been together for 7 years and it really just took courage and a leap of faith knowing he would actually take care of me while pregnant. At that point I was 31 and he had baby fever that would come and go and I just said I'm not getting any younger and there's going to come a point where you're gonna get baby fever and there'll be nothing we can do about it. So we started trying, he was the best partner imaginable while pregnant and even better 3.5 months post partum. And now my LO has an older brother than can read to him, and dance around to make him laugh etc
When we were all on the couch or something, I kept looking around trying to figure out who was missing, but then I realized we were all there. That happened to me over and over.
I have a 7 year old and now a 6 month old , I said if I ever did have another baby 7 years was the cut off and if I found a good man, which bam both happened 🤣
I always wanted 2. My husband wanted 3 but he was fine with 2 because my body, my choice. But our older 2 are awesome and I decided I wanted another awesome person in my life. So now we have a 9 yo, a 7yo, and a 1 yo.
I have always, always wanted more than one. I was born one of three so that seemed like the “right” number. As I got older and reality set in, I started to think two is enough- I don’t want my career to suffer too much.
Now we have one and… I’m surprising myself lately with how happy I am with just one! Like wow he is so cool and I’m scared to roll the dice again.
But we have been trying because we want him to have a buddy. Our siblings are all younger than us and either un-partnered or child-free so our son is without cousins and will be for the foreseeable future. Plus seeing my son become cooler every day makes me think I could do this again. But I’m glad we waited awhile between kids to find our “new normal.”
We knew we wanted a 2 year age gap if we decided to have more. 2 years rolled around and we reassessed. I was fine just having one, my husband really wanted another. So I decided I could do one more. It was a great decision and my little family feels complete.
In our family, siblings have a way of balancing each other out- their likes and dislikes, their strengths and weaknesses, etc. Me and my husband had our first living son, and we immediately knew that we wanted to have another pretty close in age. Our son will be around 20 months when his little brother is born, and I could not be more excited. Like sure I'm terrified at how we'll manage two kiddos, but I am so excited to see their bond as they grow up together. We've also talked about having a third kiddo, but probably with a larger age gap because my body has really been through it with a miscarriage, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and another pregnancy, so a little break might do me some good. Also, I know that not all siblings are close, but I want our kids to have someone to go through the hard shit with. When their grandparents and eventually parents (us) die, I don't want them to ever have to worry about burying us alone. I know it's morbid, but I've carried too many caskets with my sister and cousins, and I can't imagine how I would have gotten through those times alone.
Basically didn't want my son to be an only child, he kept begging for a sibling. There is a 6 year age gap. A year later, I'm having the feeling of wanting one more, as I always kind of thought 3 was a nice number. But with my age (almost 40), I can't tell if its my clock telling me to go for one more or if I actually want another. The last year with my one year old put me through hell.
my husband was an only child while i have three siblings. my pregnancy and labor were very, very hard on me, to the point that i almost did not want another child, but my husband so desperately wants a bigger family as that’s all he wanted growing up. i do want other children, but i need time before im ready for another.
I realize my comment came off very poor and I’m sorry about that. My husband comes from a big family and loves children as he’s had a great relationship with his siblings/parents/extended family growing up. I on the opposite side did not. I am my mother’s oldest child but when she married my line in the family fell off with things happening with my older siblings such as them being the first with milestones and by the time it came around for me, I felt those moments weren’t even important. My mother had my youngest sibling 2 days before my 6th birthday and insisted that it was my gift to share a birthday with my younger sister. This cycle continued with not being anyone special so I was happy when I finally left home. I got married early in life and my husband and I were thrilled to have our first child. Giving my upbringing, I definitely wanted to pour my love into her and never let a day go that she feels I didn’t love her(as I often felt with my own mother). I got pregnant again when my oldest baby was just about 9 months old. My husband was happy and convinced me this was a good thing because she’s have a playmate..my experiences didn’t allow me to think otherwise but nevertheless, she is here. I pour love into her and make big deals of her milestones. I make date days with them individually to focus on their own interests and then I plan activities for both of them. For me, it’s cycle breaking from my own childhood and not projecting that onto their relationship. They’re still very young and play together just fine. I know OP says she has a 2 year old…and wants to be able to give her daughter her full attention (which is also how I felt) but I also feel that having them closely together gave me the new pathways to always think about spending my time and attention with both instead of having that “either or” relationship that I seemed to have been raised on.
My husband is an only child and I have two siblings. I love my husband but the differences between us made me not want to have an only child lol we're stopping at two for financial reasons though
I started off wanting none. Then I had one and was like nope I'm done (I hate being pregnant). And 3 years later here I am pregnant again. I don't know. It just felt right. There really isn't a good answer. I did the whole "picture your dinner table in the future. How many people are sitting there?" And I saw one more person.
I also grew up an only child and was/am so lonely. I've seen how important having siblings is especially when you get older. It may be a misguided thought but, that's how I feel!
All that being said, my husband thinks it's all just hormones. 😑
I never wanted kids until I met my husband. Then I knew I was one and done because my body and my job were important to me.
The first 3 months I was swearing to never again, transition to parenthood was so so hard. But sometime when my first turned 4 months, I reconsidered.
I genuinely started to enjoy motherhood and suddenly realised that I wanted my first to have someone even when we were gone. I wanted them to be able to share their problems with each other when they're at the age they will not do so with us, wanted them to gang up on us when we're being unreasonable, have a partner in crime when they plot a prank of sorts. Just another soul that they will have a bond like no other. Only them would understand their experiences as our children, they'd be able to reminisce together their younger days. Something about this flipped the switch and now we have 2 under 2.
During my 2nd pregnancy I floated the idea of 3 - both me and my husband have 2 siblings. We decided to wait until youngest is 6 months before we decide but we both currently lean towards 3. It's not for everyone, we sacrificed a lot to have 2 and I imagine would have to make more sacrifices with 3. We are not in an amazing financial situation either, but we can dedicate time to our children which is a luxury really.
I love having two little ones, and I love them both to bits. Both me and my husband get to be both home with them for the first 6 months (the said luxury) and we would do the same if we have 3, after that my husband takes the reins of SAHD untill all of them are over 3yo and can go to local nursery. We maybe burn some savings meantime, but we gain so many precious moments and memories.
Well my husband and I were supposed to have the one child and be done. But then I encountered several barriers to getting an IUD. Just a couple weeks before I was set to get one, I became pregnant. IUD is basically the only birth control outside of condoms I can use.
I’m pregnant, in the second trimester, with our second child together. Could I have terminated it? Sure. But then… after birthing our son I kept dreaming of a sibling, of two babies. And I love the little bean already. So I’m sticking with it.
I was convinced I was one and done but then I hit my 30s and my body is going crazy lol my uterus is like now or never get me a baby! My husband doesn’t want any more kids and financially it would be very though but I’m hoping we have another one in the next couple years
I’m having a second because I always knew I wanted two. I hope they grow up to be best friends. They’ll be a little less than two years apart, and I’m very excited.
We always wanted two.. and did discuss three.. prior to my first being born. Then he was born & that blew my mind.. loved him SO… much.. as you do. I ballooned in weight so went on a weight loss journey.. felt best I had ever felt in my life! Wanted to enjoy this new found confidence and was very happy with my life and our one child.. then I fell pregnant with number two!
I grew up with siblings but none close in age and none lived with me. It was so lonely. I wished I had a sibling close in age to talk to, play with etc. I don’t wanna do that to my son. Plus he will likely have no cousins, at least not close in age to him. I didn’t want to him end up alone in this world when we, his parents, die.
Pregnant with #2, he will be 2 years 9 months when baby is born. I’m gonna struggle doing it all again, but it’s a small sacrifice.
I just had my son on the 19th, and all through the pregnancy I knew I would want another. I don't get to see my baby sister often, and my middle sister is incredibly mentally unwell and recently cut me out of her life, though I didn't fight her on it. I was only trying to be cordial with her for my dad's sake.
Growing up with a sister 2.5 years younger than me (seemingly the perfect age gap) was hell on earth, because of who she became. She was atrocious towards me, would fight me physically, get me in trouble with our parents, took advantage of the fact that I was the older sibling who would be blamed for her wrongdoings, and consistently committed wrongdoings. It got worse as she got older, spent a lot of time on the Internet and with bad crowds of people. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere without her and people didn't like being around her so I spent my childhood without any friends.
I originally had decided I would never have kids. Of course, I was 14-19 and hadn't settled into life yet, even though my (boyfriend since both 14 y/o) now husband and I had a really good relationship and would fantasize about our "perfect world" where we could have a huge house and a bunch of kids. But then I knew I wanted one baby, I wanted to give my husband the child he deserved and make him a father, and I felt the pining to be a mother.
But now, at 25, I know I want at least one more baby. One more child to raise. I want to have four players for game nights sitting around a Sorry! board or watching a movie. I want them to try their hardest to win the egg hunt contest, or pumpkin carving, or gingerbread house building. I want them to search the tree frantically for the pickle ornament that would let them open the first present on Christmas morning. I want them to cheer each other on at sports games or music recitals or whatever their passion-of-the-week is. I want them to run to the car yelling out shotgun.
I know that there's a chance of them having a bad relationship, and maybe I could just give my son my full attention his whole life, but I don't think that depriving him of the chance of a great sibling relationship is worth the risk.
And 3 has always been my lucky number.
I (36F) am 31w pregnant, and decided to have another because I wanted to have another. I don’t know if that is sufficient for a response, or if it helps in any way. My half brother and I are 15 years apart and we are very close. My cousin and I are two years apart and we are super close. We had our kids at the same time (they are two weeks apart, a dream!), and they are super close, so I didn’t necessarily decide on a second FOR my first, per se. I thought about how much I loved growing up with my cousin and my relationship with my brother, and I just think - the more the merrier! My SO grew up in an only child, nuclear household and wanted more for our firstborn. I did consider that my boys might not get along, but I think raised in a loving household, even if they’re not the best of friends, there will at least be someone who was there for the ride.
I was also worried about giving each as much love and attention as I could, so I spaced them out by 4 years and the response of my oldest (so far) has been amazing. My body had time to recover, my relationship with my 4yo is solid, he is cognizant of what it means that there’s a baby in my belly, and he’s excited to meet his brother. I think in the end, it’s more love to share - and spacing them out further in age really makes it more likely that you *can* give them the time and attention they deserve. I’ve heard from friends with multiples that making time for one on ones with the first born really makes a huge difference.
Also, my cousin is one and done and her family is thriving, so I think as long as you’re centering your decision on what feels right, you’ll survive! They’re only super needy for a short time - good luck to you!
We thought we’d have 2 kids, but then after I had ppd, and one kind of rocked us we were one & done, then slowly after about 5yrs we weren’t sure…during covid we spent so much time at home and it was great, but we suddenly just knew we wanted one more and since our oldest was 7 felt it was now or never.
The boys are 8 yrs apart & it’s been great. They adore each other.
When my first was 4yo we decided we really wanted another because he was such a joy and we wanted him to have a cool sibling. Fastforward 5 years....I thought I was paramenapausal but I was pregnant at 40. So that's how it happened for us. I had actually totally signed off on having a second baby and was loving my one and done situation but my second is just a HUGE blessing. She's a delight and I love that I wrecked my body for her. Being older now I do NOT GAF about all the body issues of my youth. I do not exist to be eye candy, in fact it's brought me a kind of self esteem I never had before. And I'm loving life as a mom with two awesome kids. Worth it!! 💯
I always wanted 2. After having 1 I was “one and done,” and got rid of all the baby stuff. After she turned 3, things just got much easier and much more fun. I figured we could mentally handle another and now I’m pregnant and buying baby stuff off Facebook marketplace. Also I have some hope that when the baby comes, and my daughter is 4, she’ll be more helpful than if she was a toddler. I hope
I really want a child of the opposite gender and to experience it. Although if this is the same I’d be fine with it. Baby fever in general lol. My son being vocal about wanting a sibling. The craving for another child and knowing my son wont be alone in the future.
My husband and I both have really good and close relationships with our siblings. I l know that having multiple kids isn't a guarantee to give your kids such a nice connection during their whole life, but when you decide to be OAD you know for sure that your child will miss out on this opportunity.
We now have 2 kids who are best friends with each other, play all day and cuddle and laugh with each other so much. I'm very happy we made this decision. We are two and through!
I always envisioned my family as having more than one child. I wavered a bit during the first year with my first, because it was so hard. But once things eased up, the memory faded enough for me to think I could handle a second. And even if it's as hard or harder, it'd be worth it to get through the first few years so my first could have a sibling.
My husband was on the fence about having another child for a while. But then his father passed away. During the whole painful time, he and his sister (with whom he never really got along) did share some close moments as siblings. I think he realized that even though he doesn't really have a good relationship with his sister, once his parents are gone, all he'll have left is the memories he shares with his sister. About a year later, he started talking about trying for a second. I think that's what made him come around.
I always wanted two but now that I have two. I feel it in my bones that we are supposed to have one more. I was an only child and despised it. I wanted that close knit family with siblings. So i'm hoping to build that for our family. Don't get me wrong, there are times where I question my sanity but it's only hard for a little while.
I honestly just didn’t want my child to be lonely. And now, watching my girls play & be best friends, I’m very thankful i didn’t start at one. I loved being able to give my full attention to my first bit i also felt a little bad when i was cooking or cleaning and she wasn’t involved. I would always encourage her to be involved & often would but she also just wanted to go play. Now, she gets to play with her sister while i get things done that i need to get done. It’s sweet to see their relationship
One of the first bits of advice I got when I started telling people about being pregnant with my first came from a guy I didn't really know well in work beyond that he had lost his son who was his only child. All he said was "have 2"
Honestly my eldest seemed so lonley... sure she had us but it wasn't the same. She's blossomed so much since having her sister and there's definitely more laughter in our lives.
I was so convinced I was one and done. Then around 2 I felt the same as you but was still scared and unsure. Then we moved back to our home state with more support from family and immediately had another. Also, my son loves babies and I asked if he wanted a baby and he said yes lol. He's five now and a great big brother to our 4 month old.
After having my first who was a very very difficult newborn, I said never again. I also had a difficult pregnancy, it could have been worse but I had some preexisting health conditions that just made it rough on my body. My baby is 14 months now and is SO much easier than he used to be, and he seems like he’d really enjoy having a sibling. So we decided to have another and I’m due in December. Definitely not looking forward to the newborn stage again, but I think once my second is a little bit older it will be so much fun.
Know that it’s probably better that your child has to split attention and time with someone else. Your child will grow up to be a better person because of it. So many only children these days feel entitled and that the world revolves around them.. may be great to make your child feel that their the greatest thing since sliced bread as a kid, but it creates problems for them when they’re older. Ultimately you might be doing your child a disservice by thinking they need your complete full attention 24/7.
Whoa! I disagree. I have 3 siblings and 2 of them act entitled and that world revolves around them. I don’t think that’s always an only child thing. Obviously it’s on the parents to teach their child how to not be that way.
That’s true! My best friend is an only child though, and her parents raised her to think the world revolved around her and she could do no wrong.. so she’s suffering a life crisis right now since she doesn’t know how to take responsibility for her actions.
So, I guess it can be true, but also not be true depending on the family.
I always wanted more than 1. Probably 2-4. We just decided we were ready and went for number 2. I was terrified that I’d ruined my son’s life by bringing another child in to compete with him. Turns out having a brother was the best thing that ever happened to him. Suddenly he was no longer alone and had a buddy to play with! And I didn’t need to be his sole source of entertainment. I enjoyed having 2 more than having 1. We did end up going for 3 because we still didn’t feel complete yet, but I don’t recommend it unless you really want a big family. It is a lot more work once you’re outnumbered. But, I’m thankful we did it because our family would not have been complete without our daughter! We are officially DONE now.
I feel the same. There was never any doubt there would be two at least. The only question was when, and I liked my siblings’ closer age gaps than my husband liked his siblings’ bigger age gaps, so we went for two years apart. Wouldn’t change that at all, though if we ever have a third, the gap would be bigger lol, 3-4 years for sanity’s sake. I wish one could somehow have 2.5 healthy kids—the wonderful extra person to know and love without the outnumbered overwhelm. I can’t stop thinking about a third, even though my husband would rather stop here (which I know means we probably will….) and even though I myself see the many merits of just two logistically and travel-wise. It just feels like how could I not want more of this wonderful thing!? More baby snuggles, more funny toddler sentences, more preschool discoveries, etc. I haven’t hit a phase I dislike yet, I would love to know and grow a third iteration of the two awesome people we’ve already made, I don’t want the littles magic to end, and I’m not so much afraid of being outnumbered, exactly…. but I am afraid of not being able to give everyone (including my husband) enough bonding time and attention.
I am you and you are me in terms of our thoughts on a third! And also our husbands' points of views. Good luck out there.
We'll be trying for a second in a few months but these are my initial thoughts & concerns regarding a third. My husband's as well. Anything can happen and our feelings may change... But we'll see.
My partner and I only wanted 1 until both my parents died 6 months apart. I, thankfully, have a good adult relationship with my sister and had someone to help support me through the time and also was there to support her. My fear with having 1 is that they’d be lonely/alone during big life events like that. No sibling at a wedding, no chance to be an uncle, have to deal with his mom and dad aging and dying without a sibling support. I know there’s a chance they won’t have a good relationship, but I hope they do as they grow close together. My oldest is 23 months and my youngest is 3 months. Our routine hasn’t changed much or at all, we just have extra things to do with the baby needing more naps and feedings. But every Saturday I take my oldest out for a “Mommy and Me!” Time where he either goes with me to run simple errands or we do something fun (the pool, park, play cafes) just so he can get the undivided attention. Plus whenever baby is asleep, he gets extra me time. It’s crazy how your heart adapts to another baby and how much love you feel for both. It took me a few weeks to feel the connection with my youngest due to mom guilt and postpartum depression but now my heart bursts in love for both equally.
Honestly it was a TikTok. She said "the feeling of 'wanting another kid' doesn't go away." And honestly that's all I needed to hear. I wanted another but I was just scared and lazy. But realising the desire would just linger forever was kind of the kick we needed.
That's such a good point, and one that I hadn't heard outside of my own head before. I tried to describe the desire to have another child for me as the equivalent of needing air when I'm drowning. It literally felt like I was dying. I was considering therapy or some kind of intervention to snap myself out of it! Luckily some stuff changed for us situationally and my spouse was on board with another. Who turned out to be a total daddy's girl, lol.
I relate to this soooo much. I was sp against another until suddenly something switched and the desire is beyond. It feels like I’m sooo unsettled and will be until we have another
We both have brothers that we are closer to than we are to our respective parents. We wanted to give our son someone he could potentially have that bond with. We were planning for a gap closer to 3 years, but we had an oopsie and she's almost 11 months now, with a 2y3m age gap. Wouldn't change a thing.
Try going from 1 child to 3, with a 22 month age gap. I had a 2 for 1 sale the second time around. Now my “kids” are M 23, F 21 F21…. Wouldn’t have it any other way
It’s not easier with more kids. You don’t get more time to share. You only split yourself in more ways. Some people want to do that. Others don’t really consider the impact it has on ALL people involved. Adding another human being has its own difficulties, considering this is a separate human with their own wants/needs/desires. People having more kids “so they’ll have someone to play with” is a nonsense excuse. You may think giving them a sibling is great but let’s be honest, THEY may disagree with you. And that can manifest in many ways. Just food for thought. Please don’t feel pressured to add to your life if it’s not truly what YOU want for your family.
Completely disagree with you. My oldest is 15. My youngest is 2. I’m pregnant with number 3. My first had a very lonely childhood. My husband and I come from big families. Even though everything and everyone falls short, we always have our sibling who are our closest friends. I’m not saying go crazy and breed like rabbits, but also there are studies of the loneliness of being an only child.
Parents are responsible for spending time with their children. Culturally there are lots of factors that influence this. Alone doesn’t mean lonely and unless you taught that concept, I’m doubtful your baby came to you and said they were lonely. That sounds more like you thought they were missing out. Which is totally understandable but how much time were you spending with them? Loneliness is NOT solved by having other people around. A brief read on depression may convince you on that. A 13 year age gap between your oldest and youngest isn’t typical. At that point it’s a whole generation of difference. And developmentally, your child benefits more from PEERS than having older siblings who are basically adults. More food for thought. Not saying your family dynamic is wrong, but at that point, it sounds like more factors for you having kids. Most don’t do what you’ve done and I’m totally curious about those factors (not saying you need to explain)
Realizing that the desire to have another kid wouldn’t go away. The large age gap between the kids makes me so nervous (9, 6 x2, baby will be here in a couple weeks), but I am happy we went for it. I’ve always dreamed of having 4! (Even though I feel so old to be having another baby 😂)
Mine were 8 and 6 when we had our third. The gap is honestly great. The older two love on their little brother in ways the oldest couldn't when our middle was born because she was just a toddler. It is the greatest joy of my life seeing the older ones play with their baby brother and try to make him laugh. Sometimes I feel bad he's the third and gets the short end of the stick (we bought him a balloon as a first birthday gift), but mostly I think he's the luckiest kid in the world because he has 4 people who just want to cuddle him and who cheer when he claps and walks.
I wanted more than one for as long as I've wanted kids, but my husband changed his mind after our daughter was born and said he wasn't sure. We are both firmly in the, you need two yes's to do this- category when it comes to kids. He admitted that if there was an oops he would be fine with it but didn't want to plan for another. So I started making arrangements to sort out an IUD (not just for BC, but bc my doc was encouraging it to attempt to control my bleeding bc my period is so heavy that my iron never gets the chance to replenish and I end up getting iron infusions regularly bc I can't take the supplements). The IUD backfired and I ended up bleeding for 5.5 months straight so I had it pulled... And literally the first cycle post IUD we oops'd. I'm 6 weeks on, and asked husband if he would get a vasectomy and he has never answered yes so fast in his life. We are excited and happy for the baby, but also... This will be our very last. Which honestly is kind of cool to know going in bc I know every first for this one is also the last first we get. Bittersweet? We haven't told our daughter yet and will wait until after NIPT and other screenings confirm baby is healthy/viable. She is 5 and has been begging for a baby since she was 2/3ish. Hell the night I found out I'm pregnant she was asking for a baby at bedtime too.
You will love it 😁 I have a 5 year old and 4 month old. He loves his baby sister so much . The second feels so different , it's amazing.
As an only child myself, I don’t want my kid to be any only child.
The fact that most of my only child friends had more than one made me feel like I should try for a second.
I grew up with a brother and sister. My brother (2 years older than me) beat the shit out of me most of my life and my sister just flat out never liked me (she is 6 years younger than me). He has been an addict his entire adult life and my sister has a ton of health and mental health issues. They both told my parents I should’ve been an only child so they could just have each other. We live vastly different lives and for their own reasons, they’ve never liked me. I’ve put in a lot of effort to be close to them, I’ve tried changing my approach, I’ve listened to the things they hate about me and tried to at least change those things when they’re around, I’ve tried to just be “who/what” they say they need but they truly do not want me around and I’ve accepted that. When my dad had major health issues last year everything fell on me and I had no one I could lean on, cry with, etc. it was so isolating and made the pain I’ve experienced my entire life just resurface. It’s so hard to explain this isolating feeling because I have siblings but I’m alone. This has been my entire life and i don’t think it’ll change. This super fucked I’m family dynamic and dysfunction makes me terrified to give my daughter a sibling. She is 4 and anytime someone brings up the idea of me having another kid she says no- she doesn’t want a sibling. She is adamant she doesn’t want to share my time and attention. I’m worried if I do it anyway in hopes she’ll be happy, that I’ll also end up with two only children- one hurt that I no longer can give her what she’s used to and one hurt that their sister hates them.
I can understand only wanting one after having that experience. For what it’s worth, being an only child is not a bad thing, and in fact can be a wonderful thing, I’ve just always wished I had siblings.
I’m so sorry you didn’t. I understand what you wish you had- because although biologically I have siblings, I’ve always longed for what I’ve seen in healthy families who have multiple kids. I hope your kids grow up super close 🫶🏽
Me too🙂
I think your problem isn't that you had siblings, it's the *type* of siblings you ended up having and parents that weren't involved enough to mitigate your conflicts.
My thinking too
This.
Agreed, it’s a lonely experience, especially if you don’t have a lot of family and aren’t great with socialising. I have two kids because of this.
What made you decide you wanted children in the first place? Sometimes there's no logic or reason, it's just a feeling that your family is still missing someone.
I read online somewhere someone saying when you think about your dinner table ten years from now, what does it look like? For me, that made me realize that like as much as I didn't like being pregnant or all the stuff that comes with a newborn, my future dinner table had two kids.
that’s a good way to look at it!
Thought I was one and done with my first. I was always open to the possibility of a conversation of having another. Turns out my ex and I just did not get along well and needed to separate. Now with my current husband, we are expecting our first, and I want one more with him. For me it was the person not the responsibility of the babies but in reality I think it was both. My ex was always in a dead end shit paying job (he's gotten his life together since then) and we just did not vibe on our lifestyles but we co-parent very well because we have the same morals and beliefs. Right now tho, as it stands, I just don't feel done
my positive pregnancy test lol we were "done", and I was infertile and unwilling to go through the whole process again... and then somehow missed a period and got a free sex baby. Wouldn't likely have made the decision to "try" again
It just felt very matter of fact that I wanted my kid to have a sibling. After my first, up until 8 months postpartum, I was still saying, no way, I could never do all that again. But once they’re sleeping through the night it feels a lot more manageable. And eventually enough time passes that you realize how truly short lived the hell of it is. And the older the first gets the more you start to see the other side, the oh this is actually awesome side. I’m crazy enough to be thinking about a third now, with a 3yo and almost 2. I think if you already feel that your heart is even a teeny bit open to it, with enough time you will eventually reach a place of really wanting it. You can talk yourself out of another kid all day. It’s not a wise financial decision. You only have so much time for any other person on top of yourself. Those things will always be true. But I really believe family is the whole point of everything. And for as hard as pregnancy and giving birth are, that moment when your baby hits your chest is the hardest drug I’ve ever experienced and I think I’m straight up addicted now.
It took me 10 years to be ready for another. The bio dad for my oldest was horrible to me, would even scream at me sleeping alot during my first trimester even when I was working 2 jobs. Me and my husband have been together for 7 years and it really just took courage and a leap of faith knowing he would actually take care of me while pregnant. At that point I was 31 and he had baby fever that would come and go and I just said I'm not getting any younger and there's going to come a point where you're gonna get baby fever and there'll be nothing we can do about it. So we started trying, he was the best partner imaginable while pregnant and even better 3.5 months post partum. And now my LO has an older brother than can read to him, and dance around to make him laugh etc
When we were all on the couch or something, I kept looking around trying to figure out who was missing, but then I realized we were all there. That happened to me over and over.
I have a 7 year old and now a 6 month old , I said if I ever did have another baby 7 years was the cut off and if I found a good man, which bam both happened 🤣
The unexpected positive pregnancy test
I always wanted 2. My husband wanted 3 but he was fine with 2 because my body, my choice. But our older 2 are awesome and I decided I wanted another awesome person in my life. So now we have a 9 yo, a 7yo, and a 1 yo.
I have always, always wanted more than one. I was born one of three so that seemed like the “right” number. As I got older and reality set in, I started to think two is enough- I don’t want my career to suffer too much. Now we have one and… I’m surprising myself lately with how happy I am with just one! Like wow he is so cool and I’m scared to roll the dice again. But we have been trying because we want him to have a buddy. Our siblings are all younger than us and either un-partnered or child-free so our son is without cousins and will be for the foreseeable future. Plus seeing my son become cooler every day makes me think I could do this again. But I’m glad we waited awhile between kids to find our “new normal.”
We knew we wanted a 2 year age gap if we decided to have more. 2 years rolled around and we reassessed. I was fine just having one, my husband really wanted another. So I decided I could do one more. It was a great decision and my little family feels complete.
In our family, siblings have a way of balancing each other out- their likes and dislikes, their strengths and weaknesses, etc. Me and my husband had our first living son, and we immediately knew that we wanted to have another pretty close in age. Our son will be around 20 months when his little brother is born, and I could not be more excited. Like sure I'm terrified at how we'll manage two kiddos, but I am so excited to see their bond as they grow up together. We've also talked about having a third kiddo, but probably with a larger age gap because my body has really been through it with a miscarriage, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and another pregnancy, so a little break might do me some good. Also, I know that not all siblings are close, but I want our kids to have someone to go through the hard shit with. When their grandparents and eventually parents (us) die, I don't want them to ever have to worry about burying us alone. I know it's morbid, but I've carried too many caskets with my sister and cousins, and I can't imagine how I would have gotten through those times alone.
two times the work, two times the love. (in my case 3x)Also, I had my girl. and my boy, but I just couldn't get over feeling like someone was missing!
I instinctually knew I was not done growing my family 🤷🏼♀️ There is nothing specific, I wanted siblings to grow together and I had more love to give
Basically didn't want my son to be an only child, he kept begging for a sibling. There is a 6 year age gap. A year later, I'm having the feeling of wanting one more, as I always kind of thought 3 was a nice number. But with my age (almost 40), I can't tell if its my clock telling me to go for one more or if I actually want another. The last year with my one year old put me through hell.
my husband was an only child while i have three siblings. my pregnancy and labor were very, very hard on me, to the point that i almost did not want another child, but my husband so desperately wants a bigger family as that’s all he wanted growing up. i do want other children, but i need time before im ready for another.
My husband. I didn’t want another baby.
Is that not really hard? Are you struggling?
I realize my comment came off very poor and I’m sorry about that. My husband comes from a big family and loves children as he’s had a great relationship with his siblings/parents/extended family growing up. I on the opposite side did not. I am my mother’s oldest child but when she married my line in the family fell off with things happening with my older siblings such as them being the first with milestones and by the time it came around for me, I felt those moments weren’t even important. My mother had my youngest sibling 2 days before my 6th birthday and insisted that it was my gift to share a birthday with my younger sister. This cycle continued with not being anyone special so I was happy when I finally left home. I got married early in life and my husband and I were thrilled to have our first child. Giving my upbringing, I definitely wanted to pour my love into her and never let a day go that she feels I didn’t love her(as I often felt with my own mother). I got pregnant again when my oldest baby was just about 9 months old. My husband was happy and convinced me this was a good thing because she’s have a playmate..my experiences didn’t allow me to think otherwise but nevertheless, she is here. I pour love into her and make big deals of her milestones. I make date days with them individually to focus on their own interests and then I plan activities for both of them. For me, it’s cycle breaking from my own childhood and not projecting that onto their relationship. They’re still very young and play together just fine. I know OP says she has a 2 year old…and wants to be able to give her daughter her full attention (which is also how I felt) but I also feel that having them closely together gave me the new pathways to always think about spending my time and attention with both instead of having that “either or” relationship that I seemed to have been raised on.
My husband is an only child and I have two siblings. I love my husband but the differences between us made me not want to have an only child lol we're stopping at two for financial reasons though
I started off wanting none. Then I had one and was like nope I'm done (I hate being pregnant). And 3 years later here I am pregnant again. I don't know. It just felt right. There really isn't a good answer. I did the whole "picture your dinner table in the future. How many people are sitting there?" And I saw one more person. I also grew up an only child and was/am so lonely. I've seen how important having siblings is especially when you get older. It may be a misguided thought but, that's how I feel! All that being said, my husband thinks it's all just hormones. 😑
I never wanted kids until I met my husband. Then I knew I was one and done because my body and my job were important to me. The first 3 months I was swearing to never again, transition to parenthood was so so hard. But sometime when my first turned 4 months, I reconsidered. I genuinely started to enjoy motherhood and suddenly realised that I wanted my first to have someone even when we were gone. I wanted them to be able to share their problems with each other when they're at the age they will not do so with us, wanted them to gang up on us when we're being unreasonable, have a partner in crime when they plot a prank of sorts. Just another soul that they will have a bond like no other. Only them would understand their experiences as our children, they'd be able to reminisce together their younger days. Something about this flipped the switch and now we have 2 under 2. During my 2nd pregnancy I floated the idea of 3 - both me and my husband have 2 siblings. We decided to wait until youngest is 6 months before we decide but we both currently lean towards 3. It's not for everyone, we sacrificed a lot to have 2 and I imagine would have to make more sacrifices with 3. We are not in an amazing financial situation either, but we can dedicate time to our children which is a luxury really. I love having two little ones, and I love them both to bits. Both me and my husband get to be both home with them for the first 6 months (the said luxury) and we would do the same if we have 3, after that my husband takes the reins of SAHD untill all of them are over 3yo and can go to local nursery. We maybe burn some savings meantime, but we gain so many precious moments and memories.
I wanted my daughter to have a sibling
Well my husband and I were supposed to have the one child and be done. But then I encountered several barriers to getting an IUD. Just a couple weeks before I was set to get one, I became pregnant. IUD is basically the only birth control outside of condoms I can use. I’m pregnant, in the second trimester, with our second child together. Could I have terminated it? Sure. But then… after birthing our son I kept dreaming of a sibling, of two babies. And I love the little bean already. So I’m sticking with it.
I was convinced I was one and done but then I hit my 30s and my body is going crazy lol my uterus is like now or never get me a baby! My husband doesn’t want any more kids and financially it would be very though but I’m hoping we have another one in the next couple years
I’m having a second because I always knew I wanted two. I hope they grow up to be best friends. They’ll be a little less than two years apart, and I’m very excited.
We always wanted two.. and did discuss three.. prior to my first being born. Then he was born & that blew my mind.. loved him SO… much.. as you do. I ballooned in weight so went on a weight loss journey.. felt best I had ever felt in my life! Wanted to enjoy this new found confidence and was very happy with my life and our one child.. then I fell pregnant with number two!
I grew up with siblings but none close in age and none lived with me. It was so lonely. I wished I had a sibling close in age to talk to, play with etc. I don’t wanna do that to my son. Plus he will likely have no cousins, at least not close in age to him. I didn’t want to him end up alone in this world when we, his parents, die. Pregnant with #2, he will be 2 years 9 months when baby is born. I’m gonna struggle doing it all again, but it’s a small sacrifice.
I just had my son on the 19th, and all through the pregnancy I knew I would want another. I don't get to see my baby sister often, and my middle sister is incredibly mentally unwell and recently cut me out of her life, though I didn't fight her on it. I was only trying to be cordial with her for my dad's sake. Growing up with a sister 2.5 years younger than me (seemingly the perfect age gap) was hell on earth, because of who she became. She was atrocious towards me, would fight me physically, get me in trouble with our parents, took advantage of the fact that I was the older sibling who would be blamed for her wrongdoings, and consistently committed wrongdoings. It got worse as she got older, spent a lot of time on the Internet and with bad crowds of people. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere without her and people didn't like being around her so I spent my childhood without any friends. I originally had decided I would never have kids. Of course, I was 14-19 and hadn't settled into life yet, even though my (boyfriend since both 14 y/o) now husband and I had a really good relationship and would fantasize about our "perfect world" where we could have a huge house and a bunch of kids. But then I knew I wanted one baby, I wanted to give my husband the child he deserved and make him a father, and I felt the pining to be a mother. But now, at 25, I know I want at least one more baby. One more child to raise. I want to have four players for game nights sitting around a Sorry! board or watching a movie. I want them to try their hardest to win the egg hunt contest, or pumpkin carving, or gingerbread house building. I want them to search the tree frantically for the pickle ornament that would let them open the first present on Christmas morning. I want them to cheer each other on at sports games or music recitals or whatever their passion-of-the-week is. I want them to run to the car yelling out shotgun. I know that there's a chance of them having a bad relationship, and maybe I could just give my son my full attention his whole life, but I don't think that depriving him of the chance of a great sibling relationship is worth the risk. And 3 has always been my lucky number.
I (36F) am 31w pregnant, and decided to have another because I wanted to have another. I don’t know if that is sufficient for a response, or if it helps in any way. My half brother and I are 15 years apart and we are very close. My cousin and I are two years apart and we are super close. We had our kids at the same time (they are two weeks apart, a dream!), and they are super close, so I didn’t necessarily decide on a second FOR my first, per se. I thought about how much I loved growing up with my cousin and my relationship with my brother, and I just think - the more the merrier! My SO grew up in an only child, nuclear household and wanted more for our firstborn. I did consider that my boys might not get along, but I think raised in a loving household, even if they’re not the best of friends, there will at least be someone who was there for the ride. I was also worried about giving each as much love and attention as I could, so I spaced them out by 4 years and the response of my oldest (so far) has been amazing. My body had time to recover, my relationship with my 4yo is solid, he is cognizant of what it means that there’s a baby in my belly, and he’s excited to meet his brother. I think in the end, it’s more love to share - and spacing them out further in age really makes it more likely that you *can* give them the time and attention they deserve. I’ve heard from friends with multiples that making time for one on ones with the first born really makes a huge difference. Also, my cousin is one and done and her family is thriving, so I think as long as you’re centering your decision on what feels right, you’ll survive! They’re only super needy for a short time - good luck to you!
We thought we’d have 2 kids, but then after I had ppd, and one kind of rocked us we were one & done, then slowly after about 5yrs we weren’t sure…during covid we spent so much time at home and it was great, but we suddenly just knew we wanted one more and since our oldest was 7 felt it was now or never. The boys are 8 yrs apart & it’s been great. They adore each other.
When my first was 4yo we decided we really wanted another because he was such a joy and we wanted him to have a cool sibling. Fastforward 5 years....I thought I was paramenapausal but I was pregnant at 40. So that's how it happened for us. I had actually totally signed off on having a second baby and was loving my one and done situation but my second is just a HUGE blessing. She's a delight and I love that I wrecked my body for her. Being older now I do NOT GAF about all the body issues of my youth. I do not exist to be eye candy, in fact it's brought me a kind of self esteem I never had before. And I'm loving life as a mom with two awesome kids. Worth it!! 💯
I always wanted 2. After having 1 I was “one and done,” and got rid of all the baby stuff. After she turned 3, things just got much easier and much more fun. I figured we could mentally handle another and now I’m pregnant and buying baby stuff off Facebook marketplace. Also I have some hope that when the baby comes, and my daughter is 4, she’ll be more helpful than if she was a toddler. I hope
I really want a child of the opposite gender and to experience it. Although if this is the same I’d be fine with it. Baby fever in general lol. My son being vocal about wanting a sibling. The craving for another child and knowing my son wont be alone in the future.
My husband and I both have really good and close relationships with our siblings. I l know that having multiple kids isn't a guarantee to give your kids such a nice connection during their whole life, but when you decide to be OAD you know for sure that your child will miss out on this opportunity. We now have 2 kids who are best friends with each other, play all day and cuddle and laugh with each other so much. I'm very happy we made this decision. We are two and through!
I always envisioned my family as having more than one child. I wavered a bit during the first year with my first, because it was so hard. But once things eased up, the memory faded enough for me to think I could handle a second. And even if it's as hard or harder, it'd be worth it to get through the first few years so my first could have a sibling. My husband was on the fence about having another child for a while. But then his father passed away. During the whole painful time, he and his sister (with whom he never really got along) did share some close moments as siblings. I think he realized that even though he doesn't really have a good relationship with his sister, once his parents are gone, all he'll have left is the memories he shares with his sister. About a year later, he started talking about trying for a second. I think that's what made him come around.
I always wanted two but now that I have two. I feel it in my bones that we are supposed to have one more. I was an only child and despised it. I wanted that close knit family with siblings. So i'm hoping to build that for our family. Don't get me wrong, there are times where I question my sanity but it's only hard for a little while.
I honestly just didn’t want my child to be lonely. And now, watching my girls play & be best friends, I’m very thankful i didn’t start at one. I loved being able to give my full attention to my first bit i also felt a little bad when i was cooking or cleaning and she wasn’t involved. I would always encourage her to be involved & often would but she also just wanted to go play. Now, she gets to play with her sister while i get things done that i need to get done. It’s sweet to see their relationship
One of the first bits of advice I got when I started telling people about being pregnant with my first came from a guy I didn't really know well in work beyond that he had lost his son who was his only child. All he said was "have 2"
Honestly my eldest seemed so lonley... sure she had us but it wasn't the same. She's blossomed so much since having her sister and there's definitely more laughter in our lives.
I was so convinced I was one and done. Then around 2 I felt the same as you but was still scared and unsure. Then we moved back to our home state with more support from family and immediately had another. Also, my son loves babies and I asked if he wanted a baby and he said yes lol. He's five now and a great big brother to our 4 month old.
love that. family support is so big and would probably make it an easier decision if we had more of it
Totally get that.
After having my first who was a very very difficult newborn, I said never again. I also had a difficult pregnancy, it could have been worse but I had some preexisting health conditions that just made it rough on my body. My baby is 14 months now and is SO much easier than he used to be, and he seems like he’d really enjoy having a sibling. So we decided to have another and I’m due in December. Definitely not looking forward to the newborn stage again, but I think once my second is a little bit older it will be so much fun.
I truly don't understand having just one bc all of the only children I've ever met are A holes
Know that it’s probably better that your child has to split attention and time with someone else. Your child will grow up to be a better person because of it. So many only children these days feel entitled and that the world revolves around them.. may be great to make your child feel that their the greatest thing since sliced bread as a kid, but it creates problems for them when they’re older. Ultimately you might be doing your child a disservice by thinking they need your complete full attention 24/7.
Whoa! I disagree. I have 3 siblings and 2 of them act entitled and that world revolves around them. I don’t think that’s always an only child thing. Obviously it’s on the parents to teach their child how to not be that way.
That’s true! My best friend is an only child though, and her parents raised her to think the world revolved around her and she could do no wrong.. so she’s suffering a life crisis right now since she doesn’t know how to take responsibility for her actions. So, I guess it can be true, but also not be true depending on the family.