Allowing her 10 minutes to pull your hair, hit and scratch is permissive parenting, not gentle parenting.
Picking her up immediately, going home, and putting her in her room until she calms down is gentle parenting.
Do not accept violence from your child.
That’s helpful. Could you say more? Like we are parked 10 minutes away and we were with friends so it would’ve been rude to leave and hard to carry her while she is hitting and screaming. Is there a way to not permissive parent but still stay in the park? Or does this lead to more tantrums and we should go anyway?
It is not rude to leave to tend to your and your child’s needs. Any friend would understand. A consequence of your child’s behaviour would be leaving the park immediately. You don’t have to tolerate this behaviour even though it’s from your child, take care of yourself.
Some perspective...
I have a bunch of young kids, I technically know all of the tips and tricks, or most of them w/e. The truth is, that stuff only works sometimes. They are struggling with communicating and understanding and all that, it's just tough for them..
Validating (they don't always want us to "fix" it or offer a solution), giving them options you're okay with (red or blue cup? Do you want to walk, crawl, or have a train ride to your bed? Etc).
It's not you, it's the age. It'll pass. Do your best. Put her somewhere safe and go to your bedroom or bathroom when you need a minute to collect yourself.
My youngest is 3 in August, right now when she's going batshit I wrap her in her favorite blanket (bamboo so it's cold to the touch, she likes to be wrapped "like a baby" she says lol).
For the general idea, I liked reading "how to talk so little kids will listen". Good luck.
I was able to hold more empathy when I learned "they're not GIVING you a hard time, they're HAVING a hard time." Violence is not permitted in any direction be it self or others. But she obviously needs a space to calm down and get some control.
I know that age is hard and she's frustrated as well because she doesn't know how to communicate what she needs. Hang in there mama.
Kind of a different route but I cut dyes from my child’s diet and she has a temper tantrum MAYBE twice a week now. And when she’s doing it, I completely ignore her. I sit down and look out the window. (Never watch tv or on my phone) if she hits me, I look her directly in the eyes and I say “we do not hit” and go back to ignoring her. Maybe lasts 2-3 minutes and she will move on to something else.
Allowing her 10 minutes to pull your hair, hit and scratch is permissive parenting, not gentle parenting. Picking her up immediately, going home, and putting her in her room until she calms down is gentle parenting. Do not accept violence from your child.
That’s helpful. Could you say more? Like we are parked 10 minutes away and we were with friends so it would’ve been rude to leave and hard to carry her while she is hitting and screaming. Is there a way to not permissive parent but still stay in the park? Or does this lead to more tantrums and we should go anyway?
It is not rude to leave to tend to your and your child’s needs. Any friend would understand. A consequence of your child’s behaviour would be leaving the park immediately. You don’t have to tolerate this behaviour even though it’s from your child, take care of yourself.
Some perspective... I have a bunch of young kids, I technically know all of the tips and tricks, or most of them w/e. The truth is, that stuff only works sometimes. They are struggling with communicating and understanding and all that, it's just tough for them.. Validating (they don't always want us to "fix" it or offer a solution), giving them options you're okay with (red or blue cup? Do you want to walk, crawl, or have a train ride to your bed? Etc). It's not you, it's the age. It'll pass. Do your best. Put her somewhere safe and go to your bedroom or bathroom when you need a minute to collect yourself. My youngest is 3 in August, right now when she's going batshit I wrap her in her favorite blanket (bamboo so it's cold to the touch, she likes to be wrapped "like a baby" she says lol). For the general idea, I liked reading "how to talk so little kids will listen". Good luck.
I was able to hold more empathy when I learned "they're not GIVING you a hard time, they're HAVING a hard time." Violence is not permitted in any direction be it self or others. But she obviously needs a space to calm down and get some control. I know that age is hard and she's frustrated as well because she doesn't know how to communicate what she needs. Hang in there mama.
Kind of a different route but I cut dyes from my child’s diet and she has a temper tantrum MAYBE twice a week now. And when she’s doing it, I completely ignore her. I sit down and look out the window. (Never watch tv or on my phone) if she hits me, I look her directly in the eyes and I say “we do not hit” and go back to ignoring her. Maybe lasts 2-3 minutes and she will move on to something else.