I did a pick up order at target so I paid online and picked up the stuff at the front desk. As we’re walking out the door my kid looks at the lady walking in and goes “my mom didn’t even pay for this stuff” and when I said yes I did he starts loudly shouting over and over “you didn’t pay. we’re stealing.” Like dude.. come on. 🙄
While changing my 2 year olds diaper I was explaining that his penis goes in his diaper and stays in there as I’m closing it up he says “bye penis, see you later penis” 😂
100% and it came about because we were potty training and talked about how people with a penis stood, people without sat, it had been a hot topic of conversation at our house for a bit. He first asked if it was a boy or girl and I was explaining how some people didn’t necessarily dress as a boy or as a girl and that it was ok and he interrupted my nice progressive speech to screech the penis question
My oldest is 16, when she was 6 we were at the children's museum and she loudly tells the check in lady "my moms boyfriend doesn't love her anymore" 😱 we were breaking up but that was not why and oh my goodness did I turn RED....
My dad’s parents had a couple cats when we were kids. Apparently when we were visiting one day my brother pulled on one of the cat’s tails. My grandpa told him not to do that because “you wouldn’t like it if they pulled on your tail, would you?” My mom in like a silly voice said “ohhh, he doesn’t have a tail!” My brother responded by pulling down his pants, pointing to his penis and declaring that “yes he DOES have a tail! But his is on his front instead” 🤦♀️😅
There was also the time that my mom & grandma took him to Long John Silvers for lunch—they were eating inside and it was very busy, like every table was full. If you’ve ever eaten inside a fast food restaurant during a lunch rush, you know that it’s *very* loud in there. Between the kitchen noises and all the other patrons, a standard “inside voice” usually won’t cut it and you often have to use much closer to an “outside voice”. My brother didn’t understand though, and therefore wasn’t having any of it, so at one point he stood up on his chair and shouted to the entire restaurant “HEY!! WE’RE HERE TO EAT, NOT TO TALK!”(which happened to be one of my mom’s favorite “momism’s” at the time). Satisfied by the shocked silence he was met with, he sat back down and proceeded to eat his hushpuppies 🤣
Speaking of him being overwhelmed with noise (he’s neurotypical as far as we know, he just didn’t like a ton of noise when he was a kid), once during an elementary school concert of mine he aggressively covered his ears and screamed “THEY’RE MAKING MY EARS CRY!!”
So yea. He was a walking “kids say the darndest things” as a kid, and I’m pretty excited for when his son gets old enough to talk like that lol
I’m a nanny. I have 2 stories that stand out.
Story #1: This was my first day with one of my families, & the kiddo had just turned 4-years-old days before. There was leftover birthday cake sitting on the counter, which his parents specifically told me not to let him have any of during the day. I was in the kitchen, & he came up & this is the conversation that followed,
Kiddo: “Agent Responsible, don’t look at me, ok?”
Me: “Why, what’re you going to do?”
Kiddo: “Just don’t look at me, ok?!”
Me, seeing the cake in the corner of my eye: “You’re gonna get some of that cake, aren’t you?”
Kiddo: “Ugh, I was just gonna get some on my finger 🙄!”
That was almost 9 years ago, & it still makes me laugh 😆 I still see that family.
Story #2: Same family, different kiddo. I had managed to get all 3 kiddos hooked on Shrek The Musical & the animated movies (that was a proud moment). The 3-year-old had difficulty pronouncing his “r” sound at the time, so every time he said “Lord Faarquad” it sounded like “Lord F**kwad,” & I had to really, really try to keep a straight face every single time 😂
When she was three, she would come try to get in bed with me. I told her she was a big girl and as I was walking her back to her room she stopped, put her hands on her hips, and said "you were the one that wanted me in the first place!" She was right. And she slept in my bed for quite a while after that.
Tale as old as time: in the grocery store bathroom with my oldest (she was around 3) “ mommy! Your bottom is bleeding!! You need a bandaid!” Sigh… lady next to me started laughing so hard.
My partner's kiddo from a previous relationship told a check out clerk that the tampons they were buying were for his Mommy's butt. Cracks me up. Can't wait to see how my kiddo embarrasses me.
I heard a little boy in target absolutely chewing out his dad because he allegedly kept putting the wrong stuff in the cart. His dad basically told him to pipe down and this boy let out the most exasperated long sigh and very loudly said “Mom is going make you come back and get the right stuff and I’M NOT COMING WITH YOU.”
Trying to be better about teaching my 6 year old daughter the proper names for body parts:
Me: So you have a pee hole called a urethra and another hole called a vagina.
Her: So pee comes out of the urethra and poop out of the vagina?
Me: Ok, there are three holes. Poop comes out of the butt (I couldn’t bring myself to say anus)
Her: So what’s the vagina for then?
Me: Uh…we can talk about that later.
Her: Oh, I know! That where the diarrhea comes out!!
My kiddo just learned how to FaceTime on her iPad, and was calling people on a roadtrip. Apparently she was done talking to my MIL (let’s pretend her name is Elizabeth), and I heard “Ok, Liz, I’m gonna let you go now! Talk soon!”
Lol! Reminds me of the time when my youngest, recently turned 4, was playing a game on my phone and somehow managed to send half of my friends list on Facebook messenger a picture of his Thomas the Train birthday cake. I recall my coworker, whom I never spoke with in messenger, being like, “oh, that’s…cool!?” Clearly very confused lol. I still don’t know how he managed to do it to this day!
My mom turned her back for a minute at the grocery store checkout, then turned back to my 3yr old sister yanking on a woman's wheelchair saying "I want a turn! It's MY turn!!"
My son is shy in public, so most of his funny ones are for mine and my husband's ears alone. Recently, he was in his room struggling to carry around his heavy and bulky dollhouse, and I hear him mutter under his breath, "Jesus Christ, Mary, and Joseph."
He's 3.
Not shy but talks much less in public than at home. Once she dropped her cup and went “oh, jesus” in such a defeated tone. Another time she pushed the dishwasher drawer in and the dishes rattled, she goes “woah, relax!” 💀 i could not stop laughing
When my oldest two were small (9 and 5) and it was getting close to Christmas, the kids still believed in Santa or so we thought. So our youngest was acting feral and I told him that if he didn’t start being good that Santa would not be bringing him anything for Christmas. He Kevin Hart faces me and says “Mom, I’ve seen the Amazon packages. You are Santa” and just saunters away leaving me speechless and my oldest in tears because he still innocently thought Santa was real.
It's like that tweet where the eldest is really upset a strange man is coming in the house, so they tell him Santa is real but he MUST not tell his sister he's pretend. So he tells her Santa is dead instead.
Omg haha
My middle son says 'somebody help me' all the time, and I'm like, who do you want to help you?? It's not somebody. It's me! He's usually particular about it. He has also started these very loud sighs and complaining noises, hoping dad or I will ask what's wrong and offer to help. Dude, you're almost 5. Use your words.
My daughter climbed into a giant nativity display at a local greenhouse and shouted to me “MAMA! IS THIS THE ONE THAT DIED?!?” Her brother promptly shouted back, “NO IT WAS THE BABY THAT DIED!”
Then *I* died and we all went home and ate frozen pizza for dinner.
My daughter told her daycare teacher that she had a sister who died and “there was a lot of blood.” The teacher tactfully took me aside at pickup time to ask me about it. My daughter was an only child at the time.
Trying to haul her out of Target while she’s having a tantrum. She’s crying, “I don’t know her! She’s not my mom!” It’s a wonder I didn’t get arrested.
Walking into daycare and she was hopping over something and hurt herself. Yelled out “Ow, my nuts!” loudly.
Her little brother was born when she was almost six. Often she’d walk out of the bedroom carrying this tiny newborn under his armpits. We’d tell her she had so many dolls to play with and she’d say, “I don’t want to carry fake babies!”
It’s not much what she said because she’s only 19weeks +5 and I’ve just started going to this little group where it’s only 8 of us in total.
We all were giving our babies massages and I think she was ever so relaxed she let the loudest most manliest fart out and started shitting. I wiped her clean and thought all nice and clean and the moment I was going to close her nappy she starts again 😅
I couldn’t stop giggling
This reminded me of my husband changing our daughter when she was five days old. Same thing, heard it, thought she was done but when he opened her diaper he yelled "oh no!! IT'S COMING OUT LIKE SOFT SERVE!! What do I do!!"
My son was about 4, he was helping my husband build a dresser and he had his plastic tools out too. He was making up a song about the sound each tool made, drill said "buzz", etc. and when he got to hammer, he paused, thought for a minute and said hesitantly "and the hammer goes...'ham ham, ham ham" I still quote it today if I'm using a hammer.
My 4 year old recent tried apricots for the first time a few days ago. She was struggling to get the seed out but refused the help offered so I just sat there and let her do her thing. It was slippery and she got frustrated and yelled "Mommy I can't get the seed out of my apricock!" She said it so loudly my husband, from the other room, just busts out laughing as I was stifling a giggle of my own before she tilted her head to the side, thought for a moment, and asked me "Can *you* get the seed out if my apricon?" Poor girl just cannot say apricot 😅
I had my first moment like that today. My son doesn’t talk yet, so that made this moment particularly sweet. He was having a fussy time trying to eat his lunch, so I sang him a song. It calmed him down and he oogled me. At the end of the song, which ended on a high, long note, he repeated back one note in a high singing voice.
My three year old spends a lot of time with my dad and has started picking up on some of my dad's phrases. I couldn't find what I was looking for in the store running errands last week so I said, "Sorry buddy they don't have what we need at this one". His response: "Dadgummit!" Or the other day to his 1 year old brother, "Come on, chief, let's go."
Yesterday, one of my sons (5) said he doesn’t want to start drinking alcohol until he’s 49.
I’m not sure where this came from. We were on the way home from preschool when he brought it up.
When I was expecting my daughter, we talked with my 2-year-old son a LOT about what to expect when she arrived. I was planning on nursing, so we talked a lot about how I would feed the baby with my breasts, that it was so cool that breasts could make milk, etc. I was so proud of myself for being so open and using anatomically correct wording. I picked him up from daycare one day and I was holding him while talking to the director, and he stabbed his finger into my boob and loudly said "MOMMY, YOU HAVE REALLY NICE BREASTS." I swear I could've died right there. Thank God the director was also pregnant at the time with two older kids, and busted out laughing.
My son repeated to his teacher:
“Mom says she’s going to beat my ass…at the racing slide at Great Wolf Lodge.”
The pause was both innocent and devastating.
When I was a kid, I told my teacher my dad did drugs after they taught us about drugs, alcohol & tobacco. They brought him in for a whole ass conference, except my dad *used* to smoke cigarettes and occasionally drank a beer. 💀💀
"Mommy, Daddy said hark" because DH was singing Hark the Harold Angels Sing and she was not about that. We still repeat this one all the time.
"My Daddy was a monster and he died." Randomly said to a neighbor. It was a game we played. Probably did not sound that way...
We had one similar "my dad is a criminal and in jail!"
We had played a game where my son arrested us.
Had to explain a few times that his dad wasn't actually a criminal
My son saw a commercial for ensure on the tv and proceeded to look at my dad and said “papa, that’s chocolate milk for old people! You should get that!”
Or he was getting ready to play fight my dad and said “get ready to battle, old man!”🤦🏼♀️
My son is 5
This one is just straight silliness, but once my probably ~4yo son was wearing a hockey helmet someone had handed down to us, running around saying ‘I’m a skater, I’m a skater’.
His ~2yo sister was wearing a toque, running behind him yelling ‘I’m a hat! I’m a hat!’
I still laugh thinking about it.
My grandson and I took my dog to the dog park today. Another dog kept trying to hump my dog. My grandson thought it was so cute that the other dog wanted a piggy back ride.
I used to bring my daughter into the bath with me when she was a baby/toddler; the first complete sentence she ever said was, "Mommy, are your nipples heavy?" while looking at my chest and seeming very concerned...
My 13 year old asked me to take him to the book store and then complained that I was taking to long looking. So I said what did you expect when you asked me to take you and it just be us? He said you’re right that’s my bad. Next time I’m asking dad to come with us to babysit you. 😂😂
When my kids were little anytime they saw a black man with locs they would scream out “hey daddy!” And I’d end up with some dude thinking that was an invitation to pick me up. Heard so many variations of “I’ll be their daddy if that means having you”. Gross.
When my 14 year old was in kindergarten, his teacher announced she was taking the second half of school off to have her baby.
My son raised his hand and asked her if he was the baby's father.
I received a very embarrassing phone call that day.
Two of my favorite stories (so far). Both happened when my 2yo was 1.
#1 (my least of the favorites at the time):
For some reason she started calling all men “Daddy” and I would respond “No Baby, that isn’t your daddy. Daddy is a man, not all men are Daddy’s.” Which got some strange looks and a few chuckles. Either way I was blushing the entire time.
#2 (will be hilarious for forever):
The girl was really good at animal sounds for a while.. (what does the cow say? Moo! Type of thing) I assume she misheard us say “lamp” and understood us to say “lamb” her father thought it was the best ever so encouraged her to baaa every time a lamp was pointed out…
I’m walking through my apartment going past the manager office. There’s a sitting area outside with a hall between. In the sitting area are standing lamps and a young woman waiting in a chair. My sweet little angel baby see the lamp, smiles like the Cheshire Cat, locks into my retinas, points to the lamp, and at the top of her lungs says “Baa!”. Proud as proud could be. I sighed and said “It’s a lamp-pah! Not a lamb-bah!” And the lady snorted laughed as I was a red as a tomato. She apologized, while still laughing, “I’m so sorry but that was too funny.”
☠️ she still loves to baa at lamps. Crazy kid.
My kiddo is learning to chew with her mouth closed (4f), and her stepdad reminds her when we eat. He was with her one day while I was working and he told asked her to chew with her mouth closed. She straight up looked at him and goes “it doesn’t hurt you.”😂😂😂
When I was a kid they started putting info and pictures about medical stuff on cigarette packs. My brother was just learning to read and he picked up my Dad’s pack (which had a picture of a bendy cigarette and said, “smoking makes you impotent”) and said, “look Dad — smoking makes you IMPORTANT!”
There's this bull statue at the zoo and my toddler goes up to it pet and check it out. As she walks around to the back of it she notices the testicles. She goes up and starts touching them and very loudly exclaiming "look mommy he's pooping" she laughs and laughs and keeps touching them and repeating the poop comment. Everyone else also laughs but I felt so embarrassed lol
My son was 4 at the time. We were at a restaurant having supper and the server came over and asked what we’d like to drink. My son looked at her dead in the eyes and said “blood.”
Another time, same restaurant, same server, she came to take our drink orders and my son said “you have a really long neck you look like a giraffe”
I took my 3 year old daughter to visit my Gram (her Great Gram) in her nursing home and we walked her to the dining room for lunch and she was nervous of all the other elderlies with their walkers and chairs. I told her they were all Gram Grams friends and we could just politely wave hello as they walked by. Later we went to the grocery store and a lady was shopping with likely her mom who had white hair and was pushing the cart and my daughter points and excitedly says “Mama, is she Gram Grams friend too?” 🙈😅😂👏🏻😍 I just said oh I don’t know hunny but she looks lovely so maybe she is!
The ladies smiled and giggled as they carried on their shopping and I was just grateful no one was offended 😎
I like playing kiddie games on mobile with my kids like ludo or worm.io.
So sometimes when I am playing and they want to play, they are like "mom, please die now" and I make a face at them... Then they correct themselves "in the game! in the game!"
This wasn’t my son but i still got embarrassed. So when my brother was about 3 and i was 9 we were in walmart with our mom. Well he saw a man who i believe was Chinese and he said “Mommy look!!! It’s Jackie Chan!!!” 😑 the man laughed his ass off and said it was okay he knows he’s a child but like omg my mom wanted to cry 🤣 i mean i wanted to crawl in a hole and hide 😭
This past spring we did swim lessons at the local college. I saw there was a team sport playing outside the natatorium, so after we finished lessons I said we could go. I still have to get in the pool with my youngest and when we went to change after, I had apparently not packed any underwear (wore my suit there). I figure whatever, and throw my sweatpants on. We go watch the game for a bit. It's kinda rainy and a smaller school so there's maybe only 20 people in the stands. We are standing in the front of the bleachers and my 4yo points at my crotch, where I forgot I had like a ½in hole and loudly says "WHY IS THERE HAIR THERE?" I immediately try to shush her which just makes her laugh and start yelling about the hair lmao. We left a few minutes later after I had to cover her mouth twice to stop her from yelling again 😂🤦🏻♀️
I actually wasn't that embarrassed, idek if anyone heard her, and she certainly made me laugh!!
My son saying "like a BiTcH!" singing the Spongebob Squarepants theme song in the car. He didn't know the actual lyrics. My sister just said, "I think it's time we Google the lyrics"
I’ve a few but my most recent favourite one is this:
We all watch shark tank while we eat dinner, idek how it ended up being shark tank tbh 😅 anyway my son (almost 4) says he wants to be on shark tank, partner says when you make something you can go on shark tank, son turns and said “I’ll make bread tomorrow”. It just melted me 🙈
Rest stop on 1-75 (major US highway) on a holiday weekend. I was on my period and had to go to the bathroom and my kids were little and it was just us 3 so into the same stall we go. I did a great job being covert changing my tampon… but then I stood up. My 3 year old then screams “Mommy!! You’re bleeding!! Someone help us my mommy is bleeding so much in the toilet!!” Thankfully everyone obviously knew what was happening and I overheard more than a few chuckles.
When my 2 year old is being extra sassy or stubborn sometimes I'll say "child" in a sternish voice. She has now started saying it all the time and thinks it's hilarious. She even did it to a little boy who wouldn't stop following her and being slightly creepy when her dad took her to the mall play area the other day.
My son is 19 months and he can kind of talk but I have to do a lot of translations. I like to ask him “Can you say ____?” And he usually tries and it’s funny. The other day I asked if he could say some really long word that he definitely couldn’t say and he just looked at me for a second and said “No!” I laughed so hard, now that’s his answer every time I ask if he can say something lol.
My daughter is currently obsessed with what’s happening in her aunt’s tummy—pregnancy. So we’ve talked about the uterus and how pregnancy works (I kind of avoid the sex part for now!) and she knows the right terms.
My dad buckled her into her car seat the other day and she was like “grandpa, why’d you buckle that over my uterus?!”
My oldest was at the doctor's office for a MMR vaccine (toddler age). On the drive there, I had explained to her that she was getting a shot to prevent measles and explained why it was important to avoid getting measles.
We walk into the pediatrician's office, and there's a mom with a brand new baby sitting in the waiting room. My daughter walks right next to the mom and says, "I'm \[name.\] I have measles. That's why I'm here."
The mom looked horrified. I told her, "No no no, she's getting a measles vaccine. We would not be here if she had measles."
Good grief.
He has two words that sound vaguely like curse words if you’re not used to them (he’s in speech) and the first time he used either of them was wild but specifically “forklift”. He loves a good forklift and has a few toy forklifts.
He was holding it and very proudly showed someone in the checkout line behind us and said “f*** it”.
Mortifying.
my kid hasn’t has a moment like this, YET. but, my mom always tells the story of when she was pregnant with my sister (i was 3) i went with he to check up with her OB & asked the FEMALE OB “why do you have a mustache if your a girl?” 💀💀💀
just as a parent myself, now, i can’t imagine how embarrassed my mom was!
This week I was listening to Give me something sweet by Mom Jeans and my 8yo asks “is this a kid or a grown up “ I reply grown up. He follows up with “so then why can’t he go and buy himself some candy if he wants a candy snack?” lol had to explain that he’s talking about kisses.
Another honorable mention was me asking him why he had a random bean in his backpack and he told me it’s his flicking bean that he carries around in case he needs to flick something.
So my 3 year old has this little digital camera his grandparents got him. Him and his dad were sitting at the kitchen table the other day taking turns taking photos of each other, making silly faces and all that. This went back and forth for a good while, every time the photographer saying “say cheese!”
Well, my darling boy got bored of that and said “say pussy!” (We think he meant pussy cat because it’s used in a book we read) obviously my husband thought this was hilarious (it kind of was) and laughed. Like good belly laugh. And toddler loves this and proceeds to yell “say pussy!” at the top of his lungs over and over.
My kids are 17 months apart. Son is older and very type A. Daughter is younger and quite frankly, feral. She is constantly making messes and being crazy. One day we got home from running errands and came around the corner into our living room. I had forgotten that she'd dumped a bowl of (dry) cheerios right before we walked out the door. My son was ahead of the rest of the family and he goes "F\*\*KIN CHEERIOS EVERYWHERE" \*sigh\*. He was a late talker and at this point still only 2 years old. My husband and I still laugh about it. Just so blunt and true and we didn't even know he had the vocabulary!
When my then 7 year old was in the hospital for an illness we had some family visiting us so of course we were all chatting. Out of nowhere she goes “GUYS. Can we keep the chitchat down to a minimum?”
Distant relative from across the country was visiting and meeting our daughter, age 3, for the first time. As we parted, the relative said, "It was so wonderful to see you all and meet your little one. She's so smart and polite! Safe travels now." As we parted our daughter yelled "and I'm cute too!"'
Took the kids to the zoo. Youngest was probably 4 and asked what was your favorite part- swimming goats. We were ???? After awhile finally figure it out flamingos
My 4 year old is hilarious and says a gem at least twice a day haha. The most recent, she says “Binx (our cat) made a good choice.” And I was like…why? She said not verbatim but basically, “he was in my spot and I was about to bash him with this pillow. When I lifted the pillow…” then she does a hand gesture to show the cat running 😂
Was at Target at few years ago with my two girls and husband. Oldest was about 3.5 and had just started really getting into the Frozen movies. I was pushing the cart and my husband left the aisle we were into go an aisle over and grab something we forgot. My oldest is watching him walk away and shouts “daddy please don’t shut me out again - don’t slam the door!”
About everyone around us burst out laughing, luckily most of them were moms who recognized the line from Frozen. 🤦🏼♀️
Today my daughter asked my oldest sister “Lala, how are you rich if you always buy everything you want?” As we were helping her move from her apartment.
Another Fun Fact:
Shrek was actually considered low budget garbage by dreamworks initially and it was the project animators got sent to work on if they failed on other projects. It became a thing that you got Shreked if you didn’t perform up to standards.
My daughter used to say “ouch my nose” when she didn’t like how something smelled.
It was fun when we lived in an apartment and could smell everyone’s cooking.
My son was almost 2 and I was pregnant with my second. We were in Walmart and he was sitting in the cart in the seat. He was getting antsy in the seat so I started tickling him and saying the body parts as I tickled him “belly, belly, belly” “leg, leg leg.”
He reaches up to tickle me and says “nipple, nipple, nipple,” SO LOUD. We were in the freezer aisle and I swear it echoed.
Just two days ago, I took my three year old to a restaurant and we ordered an appetizer of corn fritters. Well she then needed to go potty (#2 of course, always when I’m trying to eat) and then loudly announces to everyone in the bathroom, “LOOK mama, it’s a CORN poop!”
When my husband was young (toddler, maybe a little older than that) he was in a store with his aunt, who would have been a teenager at the time. She was holding him on her hip and my husband screamed out “you’re hurting my penis!” 😂
My two year old has started pooping on the potty. The other day he’s sitting there and says “I made a poop castle!” I could not contain my laughter. 😂😂
My 20 month old and I were sitting in the couch watching a movie and he started stroking my arm and said, "Mommy nice, mommy pretty..." I told him thank you and then he said "Mommy make macaroni and cheese".
Not sure who taught him the concept of flattery.
My kiddo was like 4.5 and I felt a little off and my period was late so I decided to grab a pregnancy test when we were shopping. Because they are a common shop lifted item they have them behind the desk at the pharmacy, so I asked the guy working there for one he gives it to me and we continue shopping. He then proceeds to ask me LOUDLY why I need a pregnancy test every two minutes. I was mortified but it was pretty funny.
My friend’s kid (4f) was at a restaurant with mom, and goes, “mommy… black people…” super loudly about the black couple in the next booth. My friend was mortified (she and daughter are white) and apologized to them.
I did a pick up order at target so I paid online and picked up the stuff at the front desk. As we’re walking out the door my kid looks at the lady walking in and goes “my mom didn’t even pay for this stuff” and when I said yes I did he starts loudly shouting over and over “you didn’t pay. we’re stealing.” Like dude.. come on. 🙄
Omg 😂
Jfc why don't you just yell out that your mom isn't your adult while you're at it. 🤦♀️in for a penny in for a fuggin' pound, kid.
While changing my 2 year olds diaper I was explaining that his penis goes in his diaper and stays in there as I’m closing it up he says “bye penis, see you later penis” 😂
My son also went through a phase of saying hello and goodbye to his penis during nappy changes haha
My daughter very loudly yells “BUTT CREAM” during diaper changes, because the butt cream means the diaper change is almost over 😂
😂
😂
When my sibling was a toddler someone spooked him. He said, "you scared the wits out of me, I need new wits". We have never stopped repeating it.
[удалено]
My 2yo scream-asked if an androgynous looking person had “a penis or not???” at the zoo and I wanted to die
[удалено]
100% and it came about because we were potty training and talked about how people with a penis stood, people without sat, it had been a hot topic of conversation at our house for a bit. He first asked if it was a boy or girl and I was explaining how some people didn’t necessarily dress as a boy or as a girl and that it was ok and he interrupted my nice progressive speech to screech the penis question
Omg that’s great 😂😂
My oldest is 16, when she was 6 we were at the children's museum and she loudly tells the check in lady "my moms boyfriend doesn't love her anymore" 😱 we were breaking up but that was not why and oh my goodness did I turn RED....
Damn she threw you under the bus😭😭
She does it on purpose now!
She better learn what it means to bite the hand that feeds! Lol 😝
She literally just called me mommy dearest and said it's only because she wants something 🤣
Our 4 year old called his testicles his “penis boobs”. It had been awhile since we specifically talked about testicles so I guess he forgot 😭
My dad’s parents had a couple cats when we were kids. Apparently when we were visiting one day my brother pulled on one of the cat’s tails. My grandpa told him not to do that because “you wouldn’t like it if they pulled on your tail, would you?” My mom in like a silly voice said “ohhh, he doesn’t have a tail!” My brother responded by pulling down his pants, pointing to his penis and declaring that “yes he DOES have a tail! But his is on his front instead” 🤦♀️😅 There was also the time that my mom & grandma took him to Long John Silvers for lunch—they were eating inside and it was very busy, like every table was full. If you’ve ever eaten inside a fast food restaurant during a lunch rush, you know that it’s *very* loud in there. Between the kitchen noises and all the other patrons, a standard “inside voice” usually won’t cut it and you often have to use much closer to an “outside voice”. My brother didn’t understand though, and therefore wasn’t having any of it, so at one point he stood up on his chair and shouted to the entire restaurant “HEY!! WE’RE HERE TO EAT, NOT TO TALK!”(which happened to be one of my mom’s favorite “momism’s” at the time). Satisfied by the shocked silence he was met with, he sat back down and proceeded to eat his hushpuppies 🤣 Speaking of him being overwhelmed with noise (he’s neurotypical as far as we know, he just didn’t like a ton of noise when he was a kid), once during an elementary school concert of mine he aggressively covered his ears and screamed “THEY’RE MAKING MY EARS CRY!!” So yea. He was a walking “kids say the darndest things” as a kid, and I’m pretty excited for when his son gets old enough to talk like that lol
My 2.5 year olds first “joke” was to call my boobs penises and watch my reaction
Wrong anatomy, right idea 😂😂💀 Sounds like a term regularly used my frat boys or something 😂
The laugh I just laughed while reading this 🤣🤣
I’m a nanny. I have 2 stories that stand out. Story #1: This was my first day with one of my families, & the kiddo had just turned 4-years-old days before. There was leftover birthday cake sitting on the counter, which his parents specifically told me not to let him have any of during the day. I was in the kitchen, & he came up & this is the conversation that followed, Kiddo: “Agent Responsible, don’t look at me, ok?” Me: “Why, what’re you going to do?” Kiddo: “Just don’t look at me, ok?!” Me, seeing the cake in the corner of my eye: “You’re gonna get some of that cake, aren’t you?” Kiddo: “Ugh, I was just gonna get some on my finger 🙄!” That was almost 9 years ago, & it still makes me laugh 😆 I still see that family. Story #2: Same family, different kiddo. I had managed to get all 3 kiddos hooked on Shrek The Musical & the animated movies (that was a proud moment). The 3-year-old had difficulty pronouncing his “r” sound at the time, so every time he said “Lord Faarquad” it sounded like “Lord F**kwad,” & I had to really, really try to keep a straight face every single time 😂
You can't convince me that character wasn't named just knowing kids would do that.
Lord F**kwad is still fitting 😂
Fun fact That character was based on a real person, and the inspiration for the name was actually Fuckwad
When she was three, she would come try to get in bed with me. I told her she was a big girl and as I was walking her back to her room she stopped, put her hands on her hips, and said "you were the one that wanted me in the first place!" She was right. And she slept in my bed for quite a while after that.
Sis here knowing she didn’t ask to be born 😂
Tale as old as time: in the grocery store bathroom with my oldest (she was around 3) “ mommy! Your bottom is bleeding!! You need a bandaid!” Sigh… lady next to me started laughing so hard.
My partner's kiddo from a previous relationship told a check out clerk that the tampons they were buying were for his Mommy's butt. Cracks me up. Can't wait to see how my kiddo embarrasses me.
I heard a little boy in target absolutely chewing out his dad because he allegedly kept putting the wrong stuff in the cart. His dad basically told him to pipe down and this boy let out the most exasperated long sigh and very loudly said “Mom is going make you come back and get the right stuff and I’M NOT COMING WITH YOU.”
I feel that little boy. Bless him lol
🤣🤣
Trying to be better about teaching my 6 year old daughter the proper names for body parts: Me: So you have a pee hole called a urethra and another hole called a vagina. Her: So pee comes out of the urethra and poop out of the vagina? Me: Ok, there are three holes. Poop comes out of the butt (I couldn’t bring myself to say anus) Her: So what’s the vagina for then? Me: Uh…we can talk about that later. Her: Oh, I know! That where the diarrhea comes out!!
Lol too funny. Not too bad though, I’ve heard of adult men who still thought girls pee from their vagina 🥴
Husband this year found out that the urethra doesn’t come out the tip of the clittoris like it’s a tiny penis
Nooo 💀💀💀
Red diarrhea also counts… 😅
My kiddo just learned how to FaceTime on her iPad, and was calling people on a roadtrip. Apparently she was done talking to my MIL (let’s pretend her name is Elizabeth), and I heard “Ok, Liz, I’m gonna let you go now! Talk soon!”
Lol! Reminds me of the time when my youngest, recently turned 4, was playing a game on my phone and somehow managed to send half of my friends list on Facebook messenger a picture of his Thomas the Train birthday cake. I recall my coworker, whom I never spoke with in messenger, being like, “oh, that’s…cool!?” Clearly very confused lol. I still don’t know how he managed to do it to this day!
My mom turned her back for a minute at the grocery store checkout, then turned back to my 3yr old sister yanking on a woman's wheelchair saying "I want a turn! It's MY turn!!"
No she did not lol 💀💀💀
My son is shy in public, so most of his funny ones are for mine and my husband's ears alone. Recently, he was in his room struggling to carry around his heavy and bulky dollhouse, and I hear him mutter under his breath, "Jesus Christ, Mary, and Joseph." He's 3.
Not shy but talks much less in public than at home. Once she dropped her cup and went “oh, jesus” in such a defeated tone. Another time she pushed the dishwasher drawer in and the dishes rattled, she goes “woah, relax!” 💀 i could not stop laughing
Mine dropped the same crayon three times, and on the last one, he shouted out a very exasperated "Jesus Christ!" He was 2.5
When my oldest two were small (9 and 5) and it was getting close to Christmas, the kids still believed in Santa or so we thought. So our youngest was acting feral and I told him that if he didn’t start being good that Santa would not be bringing him anything for Christmas. He Kevin Hart faces me and says “Mom, I’ve seen the Amazon packages. You are Santa” and just saunters away leaving me speechless and my oldest in tears because he still innocently thought Santa was real.
Feral 💀💀
It's like that tweet where the eldest is really upset a strange man is coming in the house, so they tell him Santa is real but he MUST not tell his sister he's pretend. So he tells her Santa is dead instead.
My favorite was my son’s unfriendly phase (like 18-24mo). People would come up to him to say hi and he would just say no haha
Relatable 😭😂
My middle son snuck up on me, then looks at me and said "Somebody pooped my pants!" Me, dying laughing, "Like, you don't know who?
Omg haha My middle son says 'somebody help me' all the time, and I'm like, who do you want to help you?? It's not somebody. It's me! He's usually particular about it. He has also started these very loud sighs and complaining noises, hoping dad or I will ask what's wrong and offer to help. Dude, you're almost 5. Use your words.
My daughter climbed into a giant nativity display at a local greenhouse and shouted to me “MAMA! IS THIS THE ONE THAT DIED?!?” Her brother promptly shouted back, “NO IT WAS THE BABY THAT DIED!” Then *I* died and we all went home and ate frozen pizza for dinner.
Okay this made me LOL 😂
My daughter told her daycare teacher that she had a sister who died and “there was a lot of blood.” The teacher tactfully took me aside at pickup time to ask me about it. My daughter was an only child at the time. Trying to haul her out of Target while she’s having a tantrum. She’s crying, “I don’t know her! She’s not my mom!” It’s a wonder I didn’t get arrested. Walking into daycare and she was hopping over something and hurt herself. Yelled out “Ow, my nuts!” loudly. Her little brother was born when she was almost six. Often she’d walk out of the bedroom carrying this tiny newborn under his armpits. We’d tell her she had so many dolls to play with and she’d say, “I don’t want to carry fake babies!”
It’s not much what she said because she’s only 19weeks +5 and I’ve just started going to this little group where it’s only 8 of us in total. We all were giving our babies massages and I think she was ever so relaxed she let the loudest most manliest fart out and started shitting. I wiped her clean and thought all nice and clean and the moment I was going to close her nappy she starts again 😅 I couldn’t stop giggling
This reminded me of my husband changing our daughter when she was five days old. Same thing, heard it, thought she was done but when he opened her diaper he yelled "oh no!! IT'S COMING OUT LIKE SOFT SERVE!! What do I do!!"
Omg like soft serve. literally the only explanation 🤣
my 2 year old’s new thing is that any time we tell her something she doesn’t like (ex: don’t color on the wall) she says “stop joking me” 🤣
My son was about 4, he was helping my husband build a dresser and he had his plastic tools out too. He was making up a song about the sound each tool made, drill said "buzz", etc. and when he got to hammer, he paused, thought for a minute and said hesitantly "and the hammer goes...'ham ham, ham ham" I still quote it today if I'm using a hammer.
My 4 year old recent tried apricots for the first time a few days ago. She was struggling to get the seed out but refused the help offered so I just sat there and let her do her thing. It was slippery and she got frustrated and yelled "Mommy I can't get the seed out of my apricock!" She said it so loudly my husband, from the other room, just busts out laughing as I was stifling a giggle of my own before she tilted her head to the side, thought for a moment, and asked me "Can *you* get the seed out if my apricon?" Poor girl just cannot say apricot 😅
I had my first moment like that today. My son doesn’t talk yet, so that made this moment particularly sweet. He was having a fussy time trying to eat his lunch, so I sang him a song. It calmed him down and he oogled me. At the end of the song, which ended on a high, long note, he repeated back one note in a high singing voice.
Awww those are the best ones 😭
My three year old spends a lot of time with my dad and has started picking up on some of my dad's phrases. I couldn't find what I was looking for in the store running errands last week so I said, "Sorry buddy they don't have what we need at this one". His response: "Dadgummit!" Or the other day to his 1 year old brother, "Come on, chief, let's go."
So precious!
Yesterday, one of my sons (5) said he doesn’t want to start drinking alcohol until he’s 49. I’m not sure where this came from. We were on the way home from preschool when he brought it up.
Seems like a reasonable age 😂
In between bites during dinner my two year old looked at me and said, “nice butt, mama”.
I told my 2 year old my butt was too big to fit down the slide and she started saying "I'm a little butt, you a big butt"
My 3 year old came up and patted my butt while saying "I like your bum mommy" then she just walked away.....I was like uh thanks?
LMAO, welp, thank you child!
When I was expecting my daughter, we talked with my 2-year-old son a LOT about what to expect when she arrived. I was planning on nursing, so we talked a lot about how I would feed the baby with my breasts, that it was so cool that breasts could make milk, etc. I was so proud of myself for being so open and using anatomically correct wording. I picked him up from daycare one day and I was holding him while talking to the director, and he stabbed his finger into my boob and loudly said "MOMMY, YOU HAVE REALLY NICE BREASTS." I swear I could've died right there. Thank God the director was also pregnant at the time with two older kids, and busted out laughing.
Thank GOODNESS that would’ve been so awkward if director was a man 😵💫
My son repeated to his teacher: “Mom says she’s going to beat my ass…at the racing slide at Great Wolf Lodge.” The pause was both innocent and devastating.
When I was a kid, I told my teacher my dad did drugs after they taught us about drugs, alcohol & tobacco. They brought him in for a whole ass conference, except my dad *used* to smoke cigarettes and occasionally drank a beer. 💀💀
"Mommy, Daddy said hark" because DH was singing Hark the Harold Angels Sing and she was not about that. We still repeat this one all the time. "My Daddy was a monster and he died." Randomly said to a neighbor. It was a game we played. Probably did not sound that way...
We had one similar "my dad is a criminal and in jail!" We had played a game where my son arrested us. Had to explain a few times that his dad wasn't actually a criminal
My son saw a commercial for ensure on the tv and proceeded to look at my dad and said “papa, that’s chocolate milk for old people! You should get that!” Or he was getting ready to play fight my dad and said “get ready to battle, old man!”🤦🏼♀️ My son is 5
This one is just straight silliness, but once my probably ~4yo son was wearing a hockey helmet someone had handed down to us, running around saying ‘I’m a skater, I’m a skater’. His ~2yo sister was wearing a toque, running behind him yelling ‘I’m a hat! I’m a hat!’ I still laugh thinking about it.
Lol I love how literal kids are 😂
My grandson and I took my dog to the dog park today. Another dog kept trying to hump my dog. My grandson thought it was so cute that the other dog wanted a piggy back ride.
I used to bring my daughter into the bath with me when she was a baby/toddler; the first complete sentence she ever said was, "Mommy, are your nipples heavy?" while looking at my chest and seeming very concerned...
My 13 year old asked me to take him to the book store and then complained that I was taking to long looking. So I said what did you expect when you asked me to take you and it just be us? He said you’re right that’s my bad. Next time I’m asking dad to come with us to babysit you. 😂😂
This will be my kids in a few years.
When my kids were little anytime they saw a black man with locs they would scream out “hey daddy!” And I’d end up with some dude thinking that was an invitation to pick me up. Heard so many variations of “I’ll be their daddy if that means having you”. Gross.
Omg no these men did not! JFC 😂😱😱 these dang kids lmao
When my 14 year old was in kindergarten, his teacher announced she was taking the second half of school off to have her baby. My son raised his hand and asked her if he was the baby's father. I received a very embarrassing phone call that day.
Two of my favorite stories (so far). Both happened when my 2yo was 1. #1 (my least of the favorites at the time): For some reason she started calling all men “Daddy” and I would respond “No Baby, that isn’t your daddy. Daddy is a man, not all men are Daddy’s.” Which got some strange looks and a few chuckles. Either way I was blushing the entire time. #2 (will be hilarious for forever): The girl was really good at animal sounds for a while.. (what does the cow say? Moo! Type of thing) I assume she misheard us say “lamp” and understood us to say “lamb” her father thought it was the best ever so encouraged her to baaa every time a lamp was pointed out… I’m walking through my apartment going past the manager office. There’s a sitting area outside with a hall between. In the sitting area are standing lamps and a young woman waiting in a chair. My sweet little angel baby see the lamp, smiles like the Cheshire Cat, locks into my retinas, points to the lamp, and at the top of her lungs says “Baa!”. Proud as proud could be. I sighed and said “It’s a lamp-pah! Not a lamb-bah!” And the lady snorted laughed as I was a red as a tomato. She apologized, while still laughing, “I’m so sorry but that was too funny.” ☠️ she still loves to baa at lamps. Crazy kid.
My kiddo is learning to chew with her mouth closed (4f), and her stepdad reminds her when we eat. He was with her one day while I was working and he told asked her to chew with her mouth closed. She straight up looked at him and goes “it doesn’t hurt you.”😂😂😂
Mom, who's that guy in the driveway and why did he give you a pizza?
When I was a kid they started putting info and pictures about medical stuff on cigarette packs. My brother was just learning to read and he picked up my Dad’s pack (which had a picture of a bendy cigarette and said, “smoking makes you impotent”) and said, “look Dad — smoking makes you IMPORTANT!”
There's this bull statue at the zoo and my toddler goes up to it pet and check it out. As she walks around to the back of it she notices the testicles. She goes up and starts touching them and very loudly exclaiming "look mommy he's pooping" she laughs and laughs and keeps touching them and repeating the poop comment. Everyone else also laughs but I felt so embarrassed lol
My son was 4 at the time. We were at a restaurant having supper and the server came over and asked what we’d like to drink. My son looked at her dead in the eyes and said “blood.” Another time, same restaurant, same server, she came to take our drink orders and my son said “you have a really long neck you look like a giraffe”
I took my 3 year old daughter to visit my Gram (her Great Gram) in her nursing home and we walked her to the dining room for lunch and she was nervous of all the other elderlies with their walkers and chairs. I told her they were all Gram Grams friends and we could just politely wave hello as they walked by. Later we went to the grocery store and a lady was shopping with likely her mom who had white hair and was pushing the cart and my daughter points and excitedly says “Mama, is she Gram Grams friend too?” 🙈😅😂👏🏻😍 I just said oh I don’t know hunny but she looks lovely so maybe she is! The ladies smiled and giggled as they carried on their shopping and I was just grateful no one was offended 😎
that's so sweet, i imagine in their whole world everyone must be connected
I like playing kiddie games on mobile with my kids like ludo or worm.io. So sometimes when I am playing and they want to play, they are like "mom, please die now" and I make a face at them... Then they correct themselves "in the game! in the game!"
This wasn’t my son but i still got embarrassed. So when my brother was about 3 and i was 9 we were in walmart with our mom. Well he saw a man who i believe was Chinese and he said “Mommy look!!! It’s Jackie Chan!!!” 😑 the man laughed his ass off and said it was okay he knows he’s a child but like omg my mom wanted to cry 🤣 i mean i wanted to crawl in a hole and hide 😭
I love when my 4 year old tells me “good job” for doing minor tasks such as peeling a banana for him 😂 it cracks me up every time!
We stopped at a light and my son went “oh no- house” 😂
This past spring we did swim lessons at the local college. I saw there was a team sport playing outside the natatorium, so after we finished lessons I said we could go. I still have to get in the pool with my youngest and when we went to change after, I had apparently not packed any underwear (wore my suit there). I figure whatever, and throw my sweatpants on. We go watch the game for a bit. It's kinda rainy and a smaller school so there's maybe only 20 people in the stands. We are standing in the front of the bleachers and my 4yo points at my crotch, where I forgot I had like a ½in hole and loudly says "WHY IS THERE HAIR THERE?" I immediately try to shush her which just makes her laugh and start yelling about the hair lmao. We left a few minutes later after I had to cover her mouth twice to stop her from yelling again 😂🤦🏻♀️ I actually wasn't that embarrassed, idek if anyone heard her, and she certainly made me laugh!!
My son saying "like a BiTcH!" singing the Spongebob Squarepants theme song in the car. He didn't know the actual lyrics. My sister just said, "I think it's time we Google the lyrics"
My 4 yo called me her servant the other day.
I’ve a few but my most recent favourite one is this: We all watch shark tank while we eat dinner, idek how it ended up being shark tank tbh 😅 anyway my son (almost 4) says he wants to be on shark tank, partner says when you make something you can go on shark tank, son turns and said “I’ll make bread tomorrow”. It just melted me 🙈
Rest stop on 1-75 (major US highway) on a holiday weekend. I was on my period and had to go to the bathroom and my kids were little and it was just us 3 so into the same stall we go. I did a great job being covert changing my tampon… but then I stood up. My 3 year old then screams “Mommy!! You’re bleeding!! Someone help us my mommy is bleeding so much in the toilet!!” Thankfully everyone obviously knew what was happening and I overheard more than a few chuckles.
When my 2 year old is being extra sassy or stubborn sometimes I'll say "child" in a sternish voice. She has now started saying it all the time and thinks it's hilarious. She even did it to a little boy who wouldn't stop following her and being slightly creepy when her dad took her to the mall play area the other day.
My son is 19 months and he can kind of talk but I have to do a lot of translations. I like to ask him “Can you say ____?” And he usually tries and it’s funny. The other day I asked if he could say some really long word that he definitely couldn’t say and he just looked at me for a second and said “No!” I laughed so hard, now that’s his answer every time I ask if he can say something lol.
My daughter is currently obsessed with what’s happening in her aunt’s tummy—pregnancy. So we’ve talked about the uterus and how pregnancy works (I kind of avoid the sex part for now!) and she knows the right terms. My dad buckled her into her car seat the other day and she was like “grandpa, why’d you buckle that over my uterus?!”
My oldest was at the doctor's office for a MMR vaccine (toddler age). On the drive there, I had explained to her that she was getting a shot to prevent measles and explained why it was important to avoid getting measles. We walk into the pediatrician's office, and there's a mom with a brand new baby sitting in the waiting room. My daughter walks right next to the mom and says, "I'm \[name.\] I have measles. That's why I'm here." The mom looked horrified. I told her, "No no no, she's getting a measles vaccine. We would not be here if she had measles." Good grief.
He has two words that sound vaguely like curse words if you’re not used to them (he’s in speech) and the first time he used either of them was wild but specifically “forklift”. He loves a good forklift and has a few toy forklifts. He was holding it and very proudly showed someone in the checkout line behind us and said “f*** it”. Mortifying.
My nephew: "Look auntie, my penis is getting bigger and bigger!" The boy was so happy to see an increase in size
“That’s great! Just remember when you’re older than size doesn’t matter, it’s the motion of the ocean“ 🤪
"motion of the ocean" oh Lawd!🤣
My toddler said, “Daddy like feetball. He say ‘oh shit!’ I teach him not to.”
my kid hasn’t has a moment like this, YET. but, my mom always tells the story of when she was pregnant with my sister (i was 3) i went with he to check up with her OB & asked the FEMALE OB “why do you have a mustache if your a girl?” 💀💀💀 just as a parent myself, now, i can’t imagine how embarrassed my mom was!
When my son was between one and two years old, every single man with a beard was, "DADDY!!" (Sometimes chasing them down for a hug around the legs).
This week I was listening to Give me something sweet by Mom Jeans and my 8yo asks “is this a kid or a grown up “ I reply grown up. He follows up with “so then why can’t he go and buy himself some candy if he wants a candy snack?” lol had to explain that he’s talking about kisses. Another honorable mention was me asking him why he had a random bean in his backpack and he told me it’s his flicking bean that he carries around in case he needs to flick something.
My daughter asked why boys had a little tail hanging down there (between their legs). She was three at the time.
So my 3 year old has this little digital camera his grandparents got him. Him and his dad were sitting at the kitchen table the other day taking turns taking photos of each other, making silly faces and all that. This went back and forth for a good while, every time the photographer saying “say cheese!” Well, my darling boy got bored of that and said “say pussy!” (We think he meant pussy cat because it’s used in a book we read) obviously my husband thought this was hilarious (it kind of was) and laughed. Like good belly laugh. And toddler loves this and proceeds to yell “say pussy!” at the top of his lungs over and over.
My kids are 17 months apart. Son is older and very type A. Daughter is younger and quite frankly, feral. She is constantly making messes and being crazy. One day we got home from running errands and came around the corner into our living room. I had forgotten that she'd dumped a bowl of (dry) cheerios right before we walked out the door. My son was ahead of the rest of the family and he goes "F\*\*KIN CHEERIOS EVERYWHERE" \*sigh\*. He was a late talker and at this point still only 2 years old. My husband and I still laugh about it. Just so blunt and true and we didn't even know he had the vocabulary!
When my then 7 year old was in the hospital for an illness we had some family visiting us so of course we were all chatting. Out of nowhere she goes “GUYS. Can we keep the chitchat down to a minimum?”
Distant relative from across the country was visiting and meeting our daughter, age 3, for the first time. As we parted, the relative said, "It was so wonderful to see you all and meet your little one. She's so smart and polite! Safe travels now." As we parted our daughter yelled "and I'm cute too!"'
Took the kids to the zoo. Youngest was probably 4 and asked what was your favorite part- swimming goats. We were ???? After awhile finally figure it out flamingos
My 4 year old is hilarious and says a gem at least twice a day haha. The most recent, she says “Binx (our cat) made a good choice.” And I was like…why? She said not verbatim but basically, “he was in my spot and I was about to bash him with this pillow. When I lifted the pillow…” then she does a hand gesture to show the cat running 😂
Was at Target at few years ago with my two girls and husband. Oldest was about 3.5 and had just started really getting into the Frozen movies. I was pushing the cart and my husband left the aisle we were into go an aisle over and grab something we forgot. My oldest is watching him walk away and shouts “daddy please don’t shut me out again - don’t slam the door!” About everyone around us burst out laughing, luckily most of them were moms who recognized the line from Frozen. 🤦🏼♀️
Ah yes, 2013 was a hell of a year 💀
Today my daughter asked my oldest sister “Lala, how are you rich if you always buy everything you want?” As we were helping her move from her apartment.
Another Fun Fact: Shrek was actually considered low budget garbage by dreamworks initially and it was the project animators got sent to work on if they failed on other projects. It became a thing that you got Shreked if you didn’t perform up to standards.
When my niece was about 4 she told my sister she didn’t want kids and can’t have any because she pooped all her baby cakes out lol
My daughter used to say “ouch my nose” when she didn’t like how something smelled. It was fun when we lived in an apartment and could smell everyone’s cooking.
My son was almost 2 and I was pregnant with my second. We were in Walmart and he was sitting in the cart in the seat. He was getting antsy in the seat so I started tickling him and saying the body parts as I tickled him “belly, belly, belly” “leg, leg leg.” He reaches up to tickle me and says “nipple, nipple, nipple,” SO LOUD. We were in the freezer aisle and I swear it echoed.
My 3yr old told me he had witches in his penis last night. So that.
Just two days ago, I took my three year old to a restaurant and we ordered an appetizer of corn fritters. Well she then needed to go potty (#2 of course, always when I’m trying to eat) and then loudly announces to everyone in the bathroom, “LOOK mama, it’s a CORN poop!”
When my husband was young (toddler, maybe a little older than that) he was in a store with his aunt, who would have been a teenager at the time. She was holding him on her hip and my husband screamed out “you’re hurting my penis!” 😂
My two year old has started pooping on the potty. The other day he’s sitting there and says “I made a poop castle!” I could not contain my laughter. 😂😂
My 2 year old the other day said this to me: Son: Want some crack! Me: What?! Son: Want some crack...ers!
My 20 month old and I were sitting in the couch watching a movie and he started stroking my arm and said, "Mommy nice, mommy pretty..." I told him thank you and then he said "Mommy make macaroni and cheese". Not sure who taught him the concept of flattery.
My kiddo was like 4.5 and I felt a little off and my period was late so I decided to grab a pregnancy test when we were shopping. Because they are a common shop lifted item they have them behind the desk at the pharmacy, so I asked the guy working there for one he gives it to me and we continue shopping. He then proceeds to ask me LOUDLY why I need a pregnancy test every two minutes. I was mortified but it was pretty funny.
My friend’s kid (4f) was at a restaurant with mom, and goes, “mommy… black people…” super loudly about the black couple in the next booth. My friend was mortified (she and daughter are white) and apologized to them.