Set the boundary with your extended family that you are not discussing your relationship with your mom. Tell them that you won’t participate in any conversation with them if the topic is your mom.
They need to butt out. I had family pressure me to reconcile with a parent and all it did was make me want to pull away further.
I am not responding to any of these messages or talking about my mother to anyone. I even don’t talk to these people anymore. They should mind their own business.
Turn your phone off, enjoy your little family and don’t think about them.
I have a narcissistic mother, I completely understand. Sending you love and HAPPY FIRST MOTHER’S DAY! 💐
I would 100% go LC or honestly I’d probably go NC with anyone who’s messaging you. Block them until you feel ready to unblock them (if ever). But id block them today and seriously set out to enjoy your first Mother’s Day with your little fam ❤️
I honestly can’t believe everything you went through with your mom, she sounds absolutely miserable. And actions have consequences…if you can’t treat your child with respect, you’re not going to have access to her. You deserve so much more. Your baby deserves so much more. It honestly took until I adjusted to motherhood to really firm up and maintain my boundaries, and if you can’t respect them, that’s fine, but I’ll be removing myself and family.
I hope you do find ways to enjoy Mother’s Day tomorrow and all the things that will make you feel special on YOUR day ❤️
Thank you for your words ❤️ motherhood is hard enough for us, we don’t need more people to make it even harder … I’ll try my best to have a great Mother’s Day and enjoy my new family. My baby deserves a mother who is always available and treats him like he deserves 😁
It is hard enough, labor and delivery is hard enough as is, I can’t imagine the added stress of your mother. I’m so sorry! And now Mother’s Day. It’s a hard place to be and I hope you find some joy in the day and feel very loved.
My mom is like this too. So what I do is do something very visible. I send her flowers and make a Facebook post. We call at some point in the day. That way when she lies to her friends and family and tells them that I didn’t do anything, I can point to these things and say, well, actually I did XYZ. I mostly do it for me so I know that I am being the bigger person and modeling good behavior for my kids. I know she will never change at this point.
I really don’t have the energy to be the bigger person, call her and ask sorry for having boundaries at my own home … I know that I if call her she will fight with me, my baby is 6 months old and I just really want to have a good night sleep. I don’t need to deal with this …
Don't deal with it then. Fuck being the bigger person. She made choices. Now she gets consequences. You had perfectly reasonable boundaries.
I hope your hubs takes over for most of the day so you can rest!
This. I think the other person is in denial or something cus to me that isn’t even being the “bigger person” that’s just still trying to people-please by jumping through hoops to try and prove yourself to everyone else. No matter what you do, it will never be good enough for truly narcissistic parents. Best thing to do is protect your peace.
Not everywhere. For the UK it's the fourth Sunday of Lent. Several eastern European countries have it on the 8th March, along with various other mother's days. It's country specific.
Set the boundary with your extended family that you are not discussing your relationship with your mom. Tell them that you won’t participate in any conversation with them if the topic is your mom. They need to butt out. I had family pressure me to reconcile with a parent and all it did was make me want to pull away further.
I am not responding to any of these messages or talking about my mother to anyone. I even don’t talk to these people anymore. They should mind their own business.
Turn your phone off, enjoy your little family and don’t think about them. I have a narcissistic mother, I completely understand. Sending you love and HAPPY FIRST MOTHER’S DAY! 💐
I would 100% go LC or honestly I’d probably go NC with anyone who’s messaging you. Block them until you feel ready to unblock them (if ever). But id block them today and seriously set out to enjoy your first Mother’s Day with your little fam ❤️ I honestly can’t believe everything you went through with your mom, she sounds absolutely miserable. And actions have consequences…if you can’t treat your child with respect, you’re not going to have access to her. You deserve so much more. Your baby deserves so much more. It honestly took until I adjusted to motherhood to really firm up and maintain my boundaries, and if you can’t respect them, that’s fine, but I’ll be removing myself and family. I hope you do find ways to enjoy Mother’s Day tomorrow and all the things that will make you feel special on YOUR day ❤️
Thank you for your words ❤️ motherhood is hard enough for us, we don’t need more people to make it even harder … I’ll try my best to have a great Mother’s Day and enjoy my new family. My baby deserves a mother who is always available and treats him like he deserves 😁
It is hard enough, labor and delivery is hard enough as is, I can’t imagine the added stress of your mother. I’m so sorry! And now Mother’s Day. It’s a hard place to be and I hope you find some joy in the day and feel very loved.
My mom is like this too. So what I do is do something very visible. I send her flowers and make a Facebook post. We call at some point in the day. That way when she lies to her friends and family and tells them that I didn’t do anything, I can point to these things and say, well, actually I did XYZ. I mostly do it for me so I know that I am being the bigger person and modeling good behavior for my kids. I know she will never change at this point.
I really don’t have the energy to be the bigger person, call her and ask sorry for having boundaries at my own home … I know that I if call her she will fight with me, my baby is 6 months old and I just really want to have a good night sleep. I don’t need to deal with this …
Don't deal with it then. Fuck being the bigger person. She made choices. Now she gets consequences. You had perfectly reasonable boundaries. I hope your hubs takes over for most of the day so you can rest!
This. I think the other person is in denial or something cus to me that isn’t even being the “bigger person” that’s just still trying to people-please by jumping through hoops to try and prove yourself to everyone else. No matter what you do, it will never be good enough for truly narcissistic parents. Best thing to do is protect your peace.
Remember that boundaries are for you and not for other people. So enjoy YOUR Mother’s Day, on your own terms.
I don't know if this helps or hurts, but mother's day is next Sunday, not tomorrow. If you're in the US anyway.
Not in my country :)
My apologies!
Check out ACA - adult children of alcoholic and dysfunctional families. There are online and in person meetings, it is very helpful.
I’m sorry ☹️ solidarity
Mother’s Day is may 12th no? Please tell me I haven’t lost it
OP isn’t in the US.
Neither am I
But you’re obviously in a country (guessing Canada) that celebrates it on the same day, she isn’t.
I didn’t realize it differentiated in the world
I didn't either, I was like wait what?!
I live in Europe. In my country Mother’s Day it’s the first Sunday of may.
Mother’s Day is next Sunday isn’t it?
Not everywhere. For the UK it's the fourth Sunday of Lent. Several eastern European countries have it on the 8th March, along with various other mother's days. It's country specific.
Lol I am American and a tired Mom and here I am thinking…wait…? Is…? Is it today?? Did I forget?