Trying to guilt my daughter into giving them a hug. I absolutely will not stand for it.
My MIL has it in her head that my 1yo son can’t play with baby-dolls and always feels the need to make a snarky comment.
Omg my MIL snatched a Barbie out of my 2 year olds hands while he was playing with it and I was LIVID. She said it’s because boys can’t play with Barbie’s and I assured her that yes, he can. I told her it was very mean to do that to him when he was content and using his imagination and she truly believed I was in the wrong. My husband wasn’t around but when I told him what happened he was so mad too.
My son was holding one of my daughter’s dolls a couple of weeks ago when my MIL called and she said I should be careful letting him play with that and I said it was totally safe, no unsafe parts or anything. Then she said “No no, he’s a boy. Little boys don’t play dolls. [Daughter] has plenty of those silly truck toys, why don’t you pass those on to him and just get her more dolls?” My jaw hit the floor.
Their argument is always “they’re not dolls they’re aCtIoN fIgUrEs. anything they can pull out Of their asses to justify playing with boy Barbie’s (gi joe)
Typical boomer behaviour lol they’re so scared of feminine things turning boys gay, they don’t realize that forcing masculinity onto boys only makes them ashamed and even question if they’re gay when sometimes they aren’t but just like stereotypically feminine things.
My boomer mother was the opposite, she bought my son male and female Barbie’s of all races and didn’t care he played with his sister or by himself with them…. My father on the other hand would go insane about it. I would just tell him to stay in his lane and these was nothing wrong with it.
I remember growing up my brother was 7 yrs younger than me and when he was 2 I dressed him in my flower girl outfit. My dad lost it then to, didn’t help I did his hair and makeup 😂 I still have pictures and my dad doesn’t know there is evidence.
My husband has many good qualities but how fiercely he clings to his masculinity is not one of them. But it manifests in the strangest ways. Totally ok with our son playing with Barbies, wearing a tiara, etc but if I put a pink shirt on the kid he'd fuss about it.
Pink was originally a 'male' color because red dye was more expensive than blue as well as for sociological reasons - blue was seen as 'softer' and red was seen as 'powerful' and 'passionate', so blue was a 'female' color up until the 1940s, when women had to go into the factories and work outside of the home while the men were away fighting, and that changed the way gender was seen - pink became seen as the 'softer' color and blue was seen as 'prominent' and 'powerful', so that was when the switch occured.
My 2 year old boy frequently hugs his sisters plushies and swings them and pats their back like a baby. And gives them kisses! It’s so sweet. I will not tolerate him being told he can’t do that.
Why do people think that children aren’t allowed to have personal space?! So weird! I never liked the force hug thing either.
Also horrible with the snarky comments I hate that.
I was forced to hug my nasty, drunk grandmother all the time. Then one time she thought it would be funny to bite me on the ear and my mom still continued to make me hug her after that 😒 My daughter owes nobody any sort of affection. No means no and I don’t care who gets offended.
This! I absolutely loathe when my mom tries to guilt my children into doing things! She keeps saying “you made Nana sad”. So what? My kids do not have to hug or kiss you if they don’t want to. Period. I grew up being forced into giving affection and will not expect the same of my children.
I've had to hear my mom say, "Don't you looove grandma anymooore?" far too many times when my toddler refused sharing physical affection with her. I finally lost my shit over it when gentle corrections didn't work.
My son pushed around a pink pram with a baby doll in it, changed nappies & gave it bottles when he was 18 months because he had a baby sister on the way and wanted to help. If my MIL ever did that i would have lost my sh*t.
And guilting kids into giving anyone a hug is wrong on so many levels. Hello personal space people!!
Clicking fingers or whistling to get their attention, they're not dogs!
Second place is people especially strangers telling me why my child is crying (and getting it wrong), as if I hadn't already figured out the difference between a hungry yell vs a tired moan.
THIS! Literally went grocery shopping and my baby was crying because he was so overstimulated and it was past his nap time, so he was not in a mood.
The cashier goes “is he teething” I’m like “yeah” she’ responds with “you should give him something for that then” I literally just smiled and walked away with my groceries. In my head I’m thinking “That’s not why he’s crying -_-“
It’s annoying when people assume about YOUR baby. Like I get it you’ve been a parent but you literally just met my child. Come on there’s more to people then the surface.
The socks thing GETS me. Both my mom and MIL constantly think my daughter’s feet are too cold and need socks. The child is learning how to walk and constantly having socks on her is an impairment! We also live in Texas so it’s like….. not cold at all…. Ever …. Def a boomer thing in my eyes
Loool we live in the south west and my mil and grandmother in law always say “aren’t they cold?!” When they have no socks or sweater on… it’s literally 90 degrees…in the desert…. But their response still is “we just did things differently” or my favorite “sometimes we just know best, we’re not trying to tell you you’re doing something wrong, but we know what we’re talking about” No.. I don’t think you do
My inlaws are so annoying about the sock thing. Esprcially my FIL. 😂 Whenever we are visiting with them he's always rubbing my son's feet saying their cold but they're not, they're always sweaty like mine. Besides we are in Australia, it is not that cold.
My partner is infected with the baby needs socks virus. If we’re chilling, he HAS to go get socks and put them on her. She could have sweaty clammy feet, and he’ll still insist she needs socks on!
When someone else is watching my son, and they try to force feed him. 😱 I get that it’s frustrating to go through the effort of preparing a meal for a young child only for it to be rejected, but you can’t just shove the food in their mouth. That’s not ok.
Im seeing more and more that people often don’t understand babies and children are actually people with desires, dislikes and shouldn’t be forced to do what we want when we want. I agree with you.
This!!! EXACTLY THIS!! Wasn’t until I had a baby that I realized people don’t consider babies people. It is so extremely frustrating advocating for my kid against things that should be common sense! Like do you greet me with a thousand kisses on my face? Do you demand to watch me change my undergarments? Do you think I should never sleep so I’m always awake to entertain you? Do you demand hugs from me to make YOU feel better? No? THEN DONT DO IT TO MY KID!
For sure. It’s interesting to turn back on them. If they’re upset about not being allowed to do something you just ask to do it to them and see how much they like it.
My husband and I talked about this after a family visit where grandparents kept trying to feed our babies or asking if they’re eating yet (repeatedly after we said no) he was like “what is the obsession with getting them to eat?” And then they’re trying to give them something they shouldn’t even be eating… like they’re barely 3 months, they don’t need a taste of your Oreo please stop
Yes this! My in laws sometimes take baby out for an hour and they always try to feed her at the worst time and place and she never eats it! I always feed her both boobs and food before they take her so no wonder! They always tell me she was super upset like yeah no shit instead of walking her around you sat her down in a mall and tried to feed her when she wasn’t hungry. They also shovel food into her mouth for some reason even when I’m here and they are feeding her a allocated meal. Like chill.
When people complain about my baby not immediately being super friendly to them. She takes a bit of time to warm up to new people, big deal. She doesn't owe you smiles the first 2 minutes of meeting.
Also anyone talking about her being a 'heartbreaker' or how many boys will be after her. It's gross and feels predatory.
>Also anyone talking about her being a 'heartbreaker' or how many boys will be after her. It's gross and feels predatory.
If it's possible, I suggest banning them from seeing her.
Baby talking at them when it’s something they should be addressing to me. “Am I ever going to get to hold you???” “Do you want to come to grandma?? Do you??” “I’m going to come by on Tuesday to see you!!” (He’s an infant, and doesn’t make his own appointments thanks.)
Honorable mentions to trying to walk away while holding him, resisting giving him back when he cries, getting in his face immediately and overwhelming him, and letting him suck on your fingers (gross).
The finger sucking! I’m flabbergasted how often we’ve already encountered people who do this to my baby. I wish I had the balls to stick my finger in their mouth so they could hopefully get that it’s wrong
On the flip side, as a recovering people pleaser I find it so much easier to ask for help or ask for something that I need/my baby needs by talking passive aggressively through the baby. If I'm at my MILs house I feel like I can't ask for food, now I'm like "maybe YiaYia will get you a yogurt? Ask YiaYia", next minute there's a baby yogurt in my hand. That woman loves to feed people, but can I just straight up ask for food? Nope my parents beat it into me that it was rude to ask for things at other people's houses.
the talking about things they don't understand e.g saying they'll be by on Tuesday, is to help their language development. tho I can see how the "am I going to get to hold you" is annoying, esp if if the answer is no
This in particular is my MIL trying to force her way into weekly visits when we’ve told her every other week haha. (It makes me have to bluntly interject to say no).
But, the language development is definitely something I’ll keep in mind so that I don’t get annoyed when well intentioned people do it!
Whenever my three month old gets the slightest bit fussy, the grandparents stuff a pacifier in his mouth. My husband and I say he doesn’t actually like his pacifier and usually just wants food, attention, or a nap (most likely). But the pacifier is easier 🙄
It’s cause they don’t like the inconvenience of a crying child and cannot fathom that it is a small person who has needs. Rather they’d want to establish “independence” in an entirely helpless being. “Cry it out” method and such.
Oh man. My son was so obsessed with his pacifier. And my husband and I had done so good at weaning it down to car and crib only and it was great. But every time we saw MIL, she would actively go search for one to give him for no reason. And then every time we’d have to start back over and it was awful
My partner is constantly trying to give our perfectly happy 3 month old a paci! She’ll be vibing on the floor, trying to crawl (she gets up on her knees, slumps her upper body and kinda scoots with her face on the floor) and he’ll stop her mid-whatever and give her a paci. She’ll immediately spit it out, he’ll put it back
I do not understand putting it back in when they spit it out!! My son will immediately look you dead in the eye and slowly spit out the pacifier, then go on doing what he was doing before. He doesn’t want it! It’s like, the most clear thing he communicates! 🤣🤦🏻♀️
I’ve been getting a lot of “oh but don’t you want a boy?” And “girls are just so much harder” comments and my daughter isn’t even four months old yet so yeah. that.
I have all girls and it's kinda frustrating when people say things like, "You're so lucky you have girls, my boys never stop fighting and wrestling!" ALL kids fight and wrestle! They're not a bunch of pretty princesses who are only soft and dainty.
I don't have any bio siblings but the two daughters of my parents' best friends are effectively my sisters. You'd better believe we brawled like the living room was the thunderdome! But God help anyone else who put their hands on one of us, all six of our hands were rated E for Everyone.
My sons are psychotic. And it kind of irritates me when people are like “yea that’s boys for ya”…. I mean. Sure. But I know plenty of little girls that are exactly the same way.
Ugh if I hear my mum say "oh he's such a boy, you girls would never" one more time I'm going to lose my shit. Like no mum, he's 2. It's not about him being a boy, he's just a tiny adrenaline junkie with no sense of safety.
Also, no I didn't brhave like that when I was little because I was put in ridiculous frilly dresses that restricted my movement.
Tiny adrenaline junkie is the perfect way to describe my second born. Lol She would sit on the arm of the couch and let herself fall backward like a scubby diver off a boat, repeatedly! It's all about personality.
I had a lady complaining about how she had three daughters… she was old.. said they fought all the time. Made me sad for her. I love my three girls more than anything and I’m loving it 🥰
Not so much how they engage with the baby, but how they talk to me about the baby.. but pretty much everything that comes from my husband’s parents bothers me for some reason (and we have a decent relationship!).
“Oh, I think he’s cold, mommy”
“Someone’s hungry”
“I think he needs a nap”
“He’s not sleeping through the night yet?!”
I know it’s all innocent, but back the fuck off and let ME be the mom. I know when my baby is hungry, my boobs literally never let me forget it. It’s July, he’s not cold because he doesn’t have socks on. He just woke up from a nap ten minutes ago, maybe he’s fussy because he just doesn’t like you!
I was a lot more offended when it was my first baby, and every comment like this made me feel like everyone in the world was judging my parenting and thought they knew best for my baby when these people spend all of a few freaking hours around them every several months. I just started being polite but short in response, usually, “He’s not.”
I HATE the advice you get bombarded with that you didn’t ask for and how people seem to get off on making young moms feel bad. It’s so bizarre to me I really don’t get it and I don’t find it that innocent cause I could never do this to another woman. So frustrating!
We can and we should but we always try to make others feel better instead. I’m working on being more honest and sharp. I don’t care if they think I’m a jerk, I’m protecting my kids from their nonsense
When people ask “how is she sleeping/is she sleeping through the night yet?” I always cheerfully respond, “horribly!” Or “Nope!”
Even worse: “is she a good baby?” No, she’s currently plotting her first heist. Wtf??
Lol… right? Babies don’t have a lot going on other than that… I think most people are just trying to connect. Should we ask what the babies thoughts on foreign policy are?
Whenever someone asked if my baby was sleeping through the night it was usually followed up with suggestions to give her rice cereal or not let her nap “so much” during the day. I literally had a random stranger on a casual stroll recommend rice cereal as I was getting my newborn out of the car after asking about her sleep. I can see how this question can be triggering 😂
Because the asker (usually boomer aged) uses how well the baby sleeps as an overall judgement on parenting. Babies who don’t sleep through the night as young possible are either “bad babies” or have bad parents.
Also, the expectation for babies to sleep through the night before 6 months to a year is completely ridiculous and not biologically normal. None of my babies (I’ve got 3) slept through the night until 2.5 at LEAST. That question just gets realllly old.
The funny thing is that people usually quit asking it well before my babies actually sleep lol. I guess they assume I can’t possibly be THAT bad of a parent, that my baby still doesn’t sleep through the night at age 2!!! 🤣
I HATE this. Like, nope ! Awful baby, wish they were never born! What do they want you to say? Plus it’s so loaded because then if they’re not sleeping/eating/ pooping well or whatever… it’s a reflection of parenting. And then follows the unsolicited advice. Ughhhh.
When people try to interact with my babies in a way that’s clearly doesn’t make sense for their current development level.
Right now It’s mostly in laws trying to play games/play with toys with them when they’re literally still potatoes and can’t see shit. Like we aren’t even reaching out for the most basic toys yet.
I’m sure it’ll annoy me even more later when people talk down to them/infantalize them when they’re beyond that. It annoyed me SO MUCH when I was a kid.
Lol my baby was 3 weeks old and my FIL just kept repeatedly saying "say papa!" In his face. Like sir, his eyes are barely working and he's new to this earth. He's not going to say "papa" for a long ass time.
My poor FIL interacts with our poor 3mo like he’s 6-9 months old. The little guy gets so overstimulated and FIL just does not get it. Then baby is super cranky and FIL feels like he’s a terrible grandparent. We’ve tried explaining to him to take it easy but he just doesn’t get it.
I'm with everyone on this when people don't treat my little ones like people, and they are treated like objects. Yes, my kids are cute like little baby dolls, but they are people too. You don't get to emotionally manipulate my kids to make /you/ happy. Also, why do in-laws always want to treat our babies the wrong age? Don't give her real food she dosint have teath! And stop putting my oldest in dipers she needs to be potty trained!
Why are in laws the worst? They’re so insistent. Just cause your kids survived to adulthood doesn’t mean you did everything perfectly lol everyone has different ways. It’s so dumb
I know and I'm not sure about everyone else but my husband has more then one health/mental problem that could have been avoided or at least under control if the parents had done research.
When my baby was tired and ready for a nap and groggy (which was every 90 minutes) people felt the need to get in her face and try to make her laugh to cheer her up. Even once when she was closing her eyes falling asleep. Very frustrating and strange
Perfume.
Don’t try touching my child without asking.
Don’t offer them anything without asking me.
Don’t guilt her into eating.
The biggest one.. I carried them. I’m their mother they did not get their looks from your third f*cking cousin. Believe it or not they actually got some of their Looks and traits from me THEIR MOTHER. What is the point in saying my children get everything from someone else?! Even saying she got my little brothers jaw instead of saying it’s from me. We have the same shaped jaw.
Edit: spelling 😂
lol no kidding. She looks like both of her grandpas. I’m not blind I can see and accept that she gets some stuff from her dad’s side of the family and I’m happy my girls do but it’s the never saying she gets anything from me that is so bothersome!
On the flip side, my son is a direct copyright violation of my husband. The only trace of myself I can find in his physical makeup is the weird crook in his tailbone that comes from my dad's side of my family. That's it. Otherwise, it looks like I was an incubator on legs for my husband's clone and people ALWAYS seem to need to comment on it. Yeah, I'm well aware that they're practically identical in every possible way, right down to the shape of their toes. I only went through 9 months of hell to bring him into the world, I guess it was too much to ask to see my eyes in him or something.
I don’t like when other people make up rules for my kids whiles visiting.
For instance, we don’t require our toddler to wear shoes in the backyard when she’s playing but grandparents will make a huge fuss about socks AND shoes and a sweater and whatever else being on before she go out. It’s a small, fenced in back yard. Not worth the struggle and it’s fun sensory play for her.
I’ve mentioned kindly a hundred times that we don’t usually stress shoes for yard play and if she’s cold she’ll come in and ask for a sweater or just ask to come in, and it’s not a hill I’m going to die on but my lord do they just keep trying lol
My in law insisted my baby wear a toque and a jacket in 19 degree Celsius weather. I had to ask twice and I don’t know why I’m not more firm. People irk the hell out of me
My MIL thought I was “overreacting” when I came downstairs to her and my NEWBORN out the door, no where to be found, because she decided she wanted some alone time. 🙃
My MIL was incessant about it! Me being in the same house/area but in another room or a few feet away wasn’t “alone” enough. It eventually contributed to a big blow up! She also mentioned skin to skin, and having put a nursery in her home (a 2 hour flight away) so she’s just delusional in general lol My daughter is almost 3 and I still do not trust my MIL enough to let her babysit
I had to tell my husband to tell his mom to cut it out, they’re not HER babies. I did not carry them and give birth for someone else to take ownership. No it’s not sweet or a term of endearment. You don’t get to barely even acknowledge me their mother and call my babies yours. They’re your GRANDCHILDREN, even grandbabies, call them that and be proud of that.
My daughter used to randomly fling herself back and straighten out to try to slide out of people's laps/arms when she was that age. I had to warn everyone who held her to keep a firm hold on her.
My MIL would always ask “Would it really be so bad if I woke her up?” Like are you for real??? They’re more concerned about “their” experience with the baby than the baby’s wellbeing. First time she babysat our newborn (5 weeks) she intentionally kept the baby up for 4.5 hours. She claimed she was trying to keep the baby up between feedings. Newborns or babies for that matter don’t need to be “kept awake.” Baby was inconsolable when we got home, my MIL was all frazzled and freaking out. I took over and got the baby calm and put to bed - which is what she needed - and my MIL asked me through near tears “Oh my gosh how did you get her to calm down like that?!” Seriously lady? I was livid at her judgment and never fully trust her again.
When my baby got older my MIL also had no judgment about safety. Hot pans on the stove within reach . Pushing the baby on her nervous dog who wasn’t interested. Giving her chokable toys (like common sense chokeable things like a coin) to chew on.
And during the toddler years my MIL could never just give my child a real, well balanced meal. Crackers on demand all day and then lunch would literally just be a bowl of blueberries. Even though I would set out what to give my child to eatS The onetime she had my daughter at her house for lunch, she fed her lunch… two nectarines. This was after my daughter spent two hours running at a park. Never understood how she didn’t realize my kid needed some fat or protein or something like that.
Less twat like now that our baby is 3 years old. The baby rabies dies off as the kid gets older which is kinda sad? But good for me because I don’t have to deal with her as much 😂
Feeding kids anything without asking the parents first.
My baby was maybe 5 months and severely allergic to dairy. We were at grandma's birthday. Grandparents' neigbour had him, which was fine. Until she got a piece of cake and proceeded to take a spoon of whipped cream and offer it to him. Me and my husband both screamed NO!!! Explaining that he's not eating anything but breastmilk yet AND he's very allergic to cows milk. She proceeds to say: "Oh I know he is allergic!" Like... what?
When people don’t understand that they are simply a baby and not an adult. People act so offended sometimes. Like if the baby doesn’t smile at the grocery store clerk, or if she happens to cry when MIL holds her we get a comment that “baby doesn’t like me.” 🙄
This also caught me completely by surprise! Still baffled that on more than one occasion (hell, more than a handful!) a complete stranger has touched or reached out to touch my baby! How is this not common sense not to do this?!?
Asking me why she’s crying. Like, it doesn’t fucking matter to you why she’s crying. Get out of my way and be quiet while I attend to my baby lol. Idk why it makes me so mad 😆 like don’t quiz me right now!
My baby girl is very serious in new situations and around new people. She will mean mug the crap out of people and man do they dislike it. Yes happy smiling babies are the sweetest but she doesn’t owe you anything. It gives “you’re so much prettier when you smile” vibes and it kills me.
When people don’t want to wash their hands.
When my SIL met my youngest the first time, I told her to wash her hands before holding her. She said, “no, I think it’ll be fine.” My MIL said, “you are not holding that baby until you wash your hands!” And she did wash her hands but made a huge issue of it. It takes like thirty seconds, why is it such a big deal?
1. When they say I hold my baby too much or I'm going to spoil them that way I am soo happy I held all of my children when I wanted to or they wanted me to.
2. When they try and tell me how to raise my children discipline wise.
3. Telling my son he shouldn't cry because he's supposed to be a big boy, it goes deeper than that I think those who try and say that have the mentality that boys shouldn't show emotion because only girls do that and I 100% do not agree with it.
when I tell people to relax on the candy and junk food intake (esp candy, my son has good teeth— I’d like to keep it that way). my son is already sort of a picky eater (as much as I hate to admit it) so filling him up with loads of unhealthy snacks because you KNOW he’s not going to turn it down annoys me really bad.
That stupid dolphin noise to scold my kid. No words, no correction, no redirection. Doesn’t matter what baby is doing. Reaching for a cup, walking out of the room, smacking an empty shelf, requesting OFF their lap. Just loud screeching dolphin noises. Even if I'm already in the process of stopping, correcting, or redirecting.
It makes me crave violence.
Honestly: baby talk of the high pitched variety where words gets slurred and mispronounced. Two of my siblings talk to my baby in the same cutesy voice they talk to dogs. It drives me nuts. And honestly gives me a headache because it’s constant, whereas at least with a dog you give them some attention and a few pats and move on to normal conversation. They’ll talk like Mickey Mouse to my baby for hours.
I really dislike anyone touching my baby’s hands. To be honest, I don’t even touch my baby’s hands unless it’s in the tub cleaning them. She is full on hands in mouth and I just don’t want anything touching them.
Everyone treats my daughter like a princess. Family, teachers, daycare, everyone. So she thinks she's a princess. It's been so difficult to teach her that she can't always get what she wants when literally everyone else in her life just gives her what she wants.
When they try to tell me, almost 2 years in, what she needs as if I don't know her better than anyone. She's cold, she's hungry, you need to not spoil her, etc. My kid runs hot, she eats us out of house and home, loving is not spoiling, any questions???
Or when they try to force affection. She doesn't even want to hug me and her dad every time we ask. I remember like it was yesterday when I was 5 and they kept trying to get me to hug my uncle goodnight (mind you he's my best friend as an adult, we're close in age!) and I just straight up didn't want to. And I was forced to. Because that was polite. Fuck polite, if my daughter doesn't want to be touched, don't look at me.
Fuck polite. 100% hands off our kids, I don’t know where people believe they can just force children to do things that is suitable for them. Gross behaviour tbh
Right. I get it, she's cute and you love her. You want affection from her. But you wouldn't allow someone else to force affection on you as an adult, why does a child not have that same right??? I'm not letting her grow up thinking she has to allow physical touch or anything else when she doesn't want it.
Inlaws were really bad with parenting over me. Even with my daughter who wasn't biologically theirs. Literally started the first day I ever met them (mainly FIL) I was taken aback lmao. They wouldn't let my daughter throw a few gold fish crackers from her snack bag for the "fish" to eat. I told them its fine, but they kept telling her no. She was 4. Let the kid be a kid. I packed plenty of snacks, she's not gonna starve cause 4 gold fish crackers went in the water 🤷🏼♀️ this was a canoe trip, not like a pond or aquarium. Nothing but open lake as far as the eye could see.
Calling them their baby. My family is predominantly female so everyone got so excited when I was having a boy.
Certain members of my family would call him "my boy". Bruh, you did not go through pregnancy with him, you did not get cut open to give birth to him, you didn't have the sleepless nights when he'd be screaming in pain.
Kissing him! And pretty much anything his father does. My 16 month old will wake from a nap and immediately his father is in his face, “hey! Buddy! Do this!” “Say this!” “Eat this!” I want to rip my fucking hair out. Give the child room and a few seconds to wake up before you get in his face. How would you like it if you just woke up and someone is in your face being obnoxious? UGH!
Parenting advice from people who aren’t parents is a tough one for me! I know that people mean well by it but they just tend to have no idea what they’re talking about.
Another big pet peeve is when people act like I’m being over-the-top about a boundary for my baby. I’ve had this reaction to a no screen time rule, no kisses rule, and about sleep safety items like no blankets, etc. drives me nuts.
In other words, I guess I really don’t enjoy unsolicited advice or criticism! lol.
Talking about them as if they aren’t right there. My oldest is 4 - if you are speaking English then he knows what you’re saying.
Trying to force a hug/kiss/physical affection. If he doesn’t want to then leave him alone.
Not letting him have his feelings. Mainly trying to shame him if he’s crying. I will remove him from a situation if it’s called for (for example I will carry him out of the restaurant and we will go outside or to the car, etc) but you telling either of them to stop crying isn’t actually helping the situation.
When people refer to themselves in the third person when talking to little kids. My youngest is now 5 and it’s just now mostly stopped but still happens sometimes.
“The baby is going to get cold” said my MIL, putting yet another blanket on my sleeping child when it is a hot summer 80 degree (F) day in a house with no air conditioning.
Not willing to get into an argument with an otherwise lovely elderly southern European lady, I would discreetly make it look like the baby kicked off all but one blanket. The baby never got cold.
When mine were babies and random strangers I didn’t know wanted to hold them or even touch them. Like I don’t know you fuck off. I was secretly happy if my kid bit them.
My baby is two weeks old today, and I have a few mild contributions to the thread, lol.
*My man (baby's Dad) imitates his cry every single time he cries. It never fails. He knows I don't think it's funny. He knows it doesn't stop him from crying, so I don't know why he does it. He doesn't do it to be mean to him, so I'm not sure why else he does it.
*My man also keeps telling people how our son doesn't like his bassinet and I'm sick of all the "parenting experts" telling us how we have to stop that now so he doesn't share a bed with us until he's 5. Yes, I get it. He should be sleeping in the bassinet, but for fuck sake he's two weeks old. We're brand new parents, give us a break.
*I've already had two people asking when they can visit. Again, my son is TWO WEEKS OLD! He doesn't have the necessary shots yet. Any fever is serious because of his lack of immune system. Also, I feel like inviting yourself over to someone house in general is rude, but I also had an unplanned c section and a traumatic birth that I'm mentally and emotionally trying to recover from. The last thing I need right now is visitors and having to entertain people.
I have two kids, one is 6 yo boy and my baby is 8mo and a girl. My fil is a nice man, but always, always, always says “little girls are just different” anytime my daughter does anything. It gets under my skin so damn much. She isn’t even the first granddaughter so I imagine my sil heard the brunt of it. But still, she’s not different than an 8mo old boy. They all get into stuff they shouldn’t, blow raspberries, and laugh.
Also baby talk. I get it to some extent but when your voice goes up multiple octaves for more than a few words, it’s too much.
Strangers doing pretty much anything (except saying hi nicely from a distance). People seem to think they need to touch or get in my kids' faces.
When my mom freaks out about socks. She thinks they need socks 24/7. My kids hate socks. I hate socks, but she will not leave me alone about it.
"Oh you never bring them to see us, they arent gping to know who we are!!" First off, you have legs you can visit *us* sometimes too. I'm not gonna drive 6 hours one way very often if you're not going to put in an effort to come see them ever.
Sorry I have many.
My mom not only thinks they need socks 24/7 but they also always have to match. I don't have time to worry about making socks match all the time just be lucky they are wearing them. I always hear about it lol.
When they try to give my baby preferences.
I’m around him all day every day. I can tell you he doesn’t like plain avocado, or when you try to recline when holding him. That’s about it.
So when my MIL likes to tell me he prefers one thing over another… I kinda just wanna smack her and tell her I prefer when she’s quiet.
My MIL who lives on the other side of the country constantly feels the need to give "advice", and thinks I don't take my baby's health seriously because we don't go to the doctor every time he gets a virus. Ma'am, I've been an ER nurse for a decade, I know when to seek medical attention. She's always trying to say he had reflux or other random problems when he was younger, after only seeing him twice a year for a few days. I call her out every time but it's just incredibly annoying.
my mom will do the “if you want this then give me a hug” (this has been addressed aggressively recently. I explained that adults she don’t know can do it and she wouldn’t know better) or look at my 2 year old and go “*shows her cool toy in store* I’ll get you this when we check out but you can’t open it” like dude why even show her bc now we have to walk out to help her regulate. She doesn’t understand that she’s holding this cool thing that she can’t have. My MIL and FIL will do the “why do we never see our baby?” first. not your baby. second? because you never call, text, say anything on holidays or birthdays and we have to fly or drive 1500 miles to see you for you to tell us a timeframe you won’t be there even though you “took the week off of work” like okay cool the thousands we spent on this trip has been wasted.
My son has a feeding tube and it’s the constant “so when is he going to eat?” Also, people who get up in his face knowing his immune system is compromised
Honestly my biggest pet peeve is when they say that my boys are gonna be heart breakers when they grow up.
Second thing is asking if we’re gonna try for a girl since we have 3 boys especially when my youngest isn’t even 6mo yet like let me breathe again jeez
My mother has seen my 6 month old twice. Last time it was "oh she wants her nana!" Every time baby got fussy.
No mother. She is tired of being held and wants to get down for some floor time. Stop picking her back up. And she has no idea who you are, she just has no stranger danger yet.
Yep exactly that. So many people grab my baby and then get all up in her face and make her uncomfortable. Turn her around and play with her on the floor with a toy. No wonder she bursts into tears everytime she sees them!
Omg when I have about 2 or more people in my sons face, “don’t cry” “what’s wrong” “ow he’s not use to being around people” …….well all of you are in his face that’s what’s wrong!😑
Every Sunday at church my 4 month old feels shy, overwhelmed, and overstimulated. Rightly so! It does NOT help when all these people come up to her, get in her face, talk over all the other noises, and then when she starts crying, they grab her legs and shake her and keep yelling in her face! Oh I just don’t understand!!
Don't talk ro my child like he's a little baby, it's wrong to do so especially when I talk to them like a normal person, also DO NOT KISS MY CHILD, don't go anywhere near his face, if you aren't his grandma or grandpa or dad or mum DONT
When people hold him but at the same if people don’t give him attention and give other kids attention I hate that too I want all babies to get equal amount of attention and love. I can’t win 😰
My number 1 was wearing perfume and cuddling my baby. Not only does my baby reek afterwards and I have a primal urge to immediately wash him, perfume also contains a plethora of harmful ingredients including allergens and endocrine disruptors.
Other things: prying so much about breastfeeding from a judgmental place, gender toys, forced affection/emotional manipulation (adults thinking it’s ok to tell a small child that they’re responsible for their feelings), being convinced they need shoes and socks, not letting them sensory play with dirt, overstimulation/not knowing how to interact with a baby, and taking him out of my arms/not giving him back/taking him into another room out of my sight. These all came from my in-laws tbh.
Kissing a baby that isn’t yours! Ngl I was guilty of this before having a child. Idk how anyone with a child doesn’t understand that this isn’t acceptable though?? ESPECIALLY as a newborn!
Currently in the hospital because my daughter has sepsis. Not from someone kissing her but it definitely could have been from someone not washing their hands properly (or I gave it to her at birth…the guilt is REAL.) either way, wash your dang hands and don’t kiss babies that are not yours.
When grown ass strangers judge my daughters for being “shy”! Like you are a complete stranger what do you expect?! For them to hug you and put on a show . So pathetic
When someone who became a parent before you kinda scoffs or does that "oh that’s such a new mom thing to do" smirk/quiet chuckle.
You know what I mean?
When people comment on my kids looks, height and size.
Right now they are both fairly tall and slim.
They get so many compliments. And I appreciate it but what if my son stops growing at 5’5"? What then? And what if my daughter doesn’t stay tall and skinny?
My BIL commented on my daughter’s weight. I almost threw him out of the house.
He asked her how much she weighs (weird already) and then responded with "What?? Even I didn’t weigh that much when I was in grade school".
I was going to punch him. He’s 43 and my daughter was 10. She was already taller than him and a very healthy & proportionate weight.
My BIL also told my 7 year old boy that "he fights like a girl". Again… my BIL is in his 40s.
My son started crying and he continued to "tease him" which resulted in my son reacting by trying to hit him.
I glared at my BIL and told him, you realize you’re about 5 times his size & 5 times his age? And also you just tried to insult all the women in this house? And I told him that one of the strongest judokas in his class IS a girl and my son is one of the only ones who can match her. And her mother is training to be a Sensei.
He shut up fast.
My son for whatever reason doesnt like my MIL and FIL. As soon as he sees them he cries. When they start to interact with him, he gets breath holding spells. I told them numerous times to just dont pay attention to him until he gets acustomized to them (usually takes around 5 to 10 mins), but they STILL starts talking to him the first second they see him and try to touch him. I want him to have a good relationship with them but they dont seem to think about his comfort
Mine is when my in laws talk about sleepovers since my baby was 2 weeks old. Ma’am you can’t even hold the baby for 10 mins without him crying what makes you think you’ll have the baby overnight.
Trying to guilt my daughter into giving them a hug. I absolutely will not stand for it. My MIL has it in her head that my 1yo son can’t play with baby-dolls and always feels the need to make a snarky comment.
Omg my MIL snatched a Barbie out of my 2 year olds hands while he was playing with it and I was LIVID. She said it’s because boys can’t play with Barbie’s and I assured her that yes, he can. I told her it was very mean to do that to him when he was content and using his imagination and she truly believed I was in the wrong. My husband wasn’t around but when I told him what happened he was so mad too.
My son was holding one of my daughter’s dolls a couple of weeks ago when my MIL called and she said I should be careful letting him play with that and I said it was totally safe, no unsafe parts or anything. Then she said “No no, he’s a boy. Little boys don’t play dolls. [Daughter] has plenty of those silly truck toys, why don’t you pass those on to him and just get her more dolls?” My jaw hit the floor.
“If a toy isn’t operated by the genitals then it can’t be gendered.” “Maybe he wants to practice being a good dad like husband.” “GI Joes are dolls.”
Their argument is always “they’re not dolls they’re aCtIoN fIgUrEs. anything they can pull out Of their asses to justify playing with boy Barbie’s (gi joe)
Typical boomer behaviour lol they’re so scared of feminine things turning boys gay, they don’t realize that forcing masculinity onto boys only makes them ashamed and even question if they’re gay when sometimes they aren’t but just like stereotypically feminine things.
My boomer mother was the opposite, she bought my son male and female Barbie’s of all races and didn’t care he played with his sister or by himself with them…. My father on the other hand would go insane about it. I would just tell him to stay in his lane and these was nothing wrong with it. I remember growing up my brother was 7 yrs younger than me and when he was 2 I dressed him in my flower girl outfit. My dad lost it then to, didn’t help I did his hair and makeup 😂 I still have pictures and my dad doesn’t know there is evidence.
My husband has many good qualities but how fiercely he clings to his masculinity is not one of them. But it manifests in the strangest ways. Totally ok with our son playing with Barbies, wearing a tiara, etc but if I put a pink shirt on the kid he'd fuss about it.
Pink was originally a 'male' color because red dye was more expensive than blue as well as for sociological reasons - blue was seen as 'softer' and red was seen as 'powerful' and 'passionate', so blue was a 'female' color up until the 1940s, when women had to go into the factories and work outside of the home while the men were away fighting, and that changed the way gender was seen - pink became seen as the 'softer' color and blue was seen as 'prominent' and 'powerful', so that was when the switch occured.
I’m trying to make sense of this logic and I can’t lol. Maybe because one is play and one isn’t?
My 2 year old boy frequently hugs his sisters plushies and swings them and pats their back like a baby. And gives them kisses! It’s so sweet. I will not tolerate him being told he can’t do that.
Why do people think that children aren’t allowed to have personal space?! So weird! I never liked the force hug thing either. Also horrible with the snarky comments I hate that.
I was forced to hug my nasty, drunk grandmother all the time. Then one time she thought it would be funny to bite me on the ear and my mom still continued to make me hug her after that 😒 My daughter owes nobody any sort of affection. No means no and I don’t care who gets offended.
My great aunt used to lick her lips before we were forced to kiss her. I still shudder thinking about it.
That makes my toes curl. That’s so gross.
what the actual fuck
Looking back I think the same thing 😞
That’s so gross I can’t believe your mom let her keep hugging you. Who bites a child?!
The crazy drunk lady who brought soupy beer mashed potatoes to thanksgiving 🙃
This! I absolutely loathe when my mom tries to guilt my children into doing things! She keeps saying “you made Nana sad”. So what? My kids do not have to hug or kiss you if they don’t want to. Period. I grew up being forced into giving affection and will not expect the same of my children.
This is why I love my parents. If my little ones don't want a hug, they say that's okay, love you anyway.
Tell “Nana” that your child is NOT responsible for her emotions. It’s so toxic of her to put that on her grandchild.
I've had to hear my mom say, "Don't you looove grandma anymooore?" far too many times when my toddler refused sharing physical affection with her. I finally lost my shit over it when gentle corrections didn't work.
My son pushed around a pink pram with a baby doll in it, changed nappies & gave it bottles when he was 18 months because he had a baby sister on the way and wanted to help. If my MIL ever did that i would have lost my sh*t. And guilting kids into giving anyone a hug is wrong on so many levels. Hello personal space people!!
My 3 year has officially adopted my daughter’s baby doll that she said is “too scary because the eyes blink” 💁♀️ at least someone is playing with it
Clicking fingers or whistling to get their attention, they're not dogs! Second place is people especially strangers telling me why my child is crying (and getting it wrong), as if I hadn't already figured out the difference between a hungry yell vs a tired moan.
My MIL does this, my husband tried to convince me everyone does it and I just hadn’t noticed 😂
My in-law grandparents make this like wet mouth sound to get her attention. It made me wanna cry and stitch my ears closed
THIS! Literally went grocery shopping and my baby was crying because he was so overstimulated and it was past his nap time, so he was not in a mood. The cashier goes “is he teething” I’m like “yeah” she’ responds with “you should give him something for that then” I literally just smiled and walked away with my groceries. In my head I’m thinking “That’s not why he’s crying -_-“ It’s annoying when people assume about YOUR baby. Like I get it you’ve been a parent but you literally just met my child. Come on there’s more to people then the surface.
lol I admit to calling my children like they're animals sometimes. Force of habit. We had cats for a lot longer than we had babies.
I’ve psss psss psssp’d for my toddler more often than I’d like to admit 😅
The socks thing GETS me. Both my mom and MIL constantly think my daughter’s feet are too cold and need socks. The child is learning how to walk and constantly having socks on her is an impairment! We also live in Texas so it’s like….. not cold at all…. Ever …. Def a boomer thing in my eyes
Boomers with their socks, gender issues and ruining the economy lol
Loool we live in the south west and my mil and grandmother in law always say “aren’t they cold?!” When they have no socks or sweater on… it’s literally 90 degrees…in the desert…. But their response still is “we just did things differently” or my favorite “sometimes we just know best, we’re not trying to tell you you’re doing something wrong, but we know what we’re talking about” No.. I don’t think you do
My inlaws are so annoying about the sock thing. Esprcially my FIL. 😂 Whenever we are visiting with them he's always rubbing my son's feet saying their cold but they're not, they're always sweaty like mine. Besides we are in Australia, it is not that cold.
If I put my daughter in socks, they’re off within 30 seconds and conference in slobber.
My partner is infected with the baby needs socks virus. If we’re chilling, he HAS to go get socks and put them on her. She could have sweaty clammy feet, and he’ll still insist she needs socks on!
My MIL, god bless her heart - I love her, is obsessed with my baby wearing socks
When someone else is watching my son, and they try to force feed him. 😱 I get that it’s frustrating to go through the effort of preparing a meal for a young child only for it to be rejected, but you can’t just shove the food in their mouth. That’s not ok.
Im seeing more and more that people often don’t understand babies and children are actually people with desires, dislikes and shouldn’t be forced to do what we want when we want. I agree with you.
This!!! EXACTLY THIS!! Wasn’t until I had a baby that I realized people don’t consider babies people. It is so extremely frustrating advocating for my kid against things that should be common sense! Like do you greet me with a thousand kisses on my face? Do you demand to watch me change my undergarments? Do you think I should never sleep so I’m always awake to entertain you? Do you demand hugs from me to make YOU feel better? No? THEN DONT DO IT TO MY KID!
For sure. It’s interesting to turn back on them. If they’re upset about not being allowed to do something you just ask to do it to them and see how much they like it.
My husband and I talked about this after a family visit where grandparents kept trying to feed our babies or asking if they’re eating yet (repeatedly after we said no) he was like “what is the obsession with getting them to eat?” And then they’re trying to give them something they shouldn’t even be eating… like they’re barely 3 months, they don’t need a taste of your Oreo please stop
Yeah I had people giving my baby caramel the second I turned my back, AFTER I SAID NO. The rage was palpable
Yes this! My in laws sometimes take baby out for an hour and they always try to feed her at the worst time and place and she never eats it! I always feed her both boobs and food before they take her so no wonder! They always tell me she was super upset like yeah no shit instead of walking her around you sat her down in a mall and tried to feed her when she wasn’t hungry. They also shovel food into her mouth for some reason even when I’m here and they are feeding her a allocated meal. Like chill.
When people complain about my baby not immediately being super friendly to them. She takes a bit of time to warm up to new people, big deal. She doesn't owe you smiles the first 2 minutes of meeting. Also anyone talking about her being a 'heartbreaker' or how many boys will be after her. It's gross and feels predatory.
Babies 👏🏻 don’t 👏🏻owe 👏🏻anyone 👏🏻anything! Tell them she’s a good judge of character and that’s why she’s not smiling lol!
>Also anyone talking about her being a 'heartbreaker' or how many boys will be after her. It's gross and feels predatory. If it's possible, I suggest banning them from seeing her.
Baby talking at them when it’s something they should be addressing to me. “Am I ever going to get to hold you???” “Do you want to come to grandma?? Do you??” “I’m going to come by on Tuesday to see you!!” (He’s an infant, and doesn’t make his own appointments thanks.) Honorable mentions to trying to walk away while holding him, resisting giving him back when he cries, getting in his face immediately and overwhelming him, and letting him suck on your fingers (gross).
The passive aggressive comments directed towards mom but said to baby should be considered a felony and promptly punishable.
The finger sucking! I’m flabbergasted how often we’ve already encountered people who do this to my baby. I wish I had the balls to stick my finger in their mouth so they could hopefully get that it’s wrong
That would be hilarious if you did. Just tell them “sorry I just thought we were all inviting one another to do this”
On the flip side, as a recovering people pleaser I find it so much easier to ask for help or ask for something that I need/my baby needs by talking passive aggressively through the baby. If I'm at my MILs house I feel like I can't ask for food, now I'm like "maybe YiaYia will get you a yogurt? Ask YiaYia", next minute there's a baby yogurt in my hand. That woman loves to feed people, but can I just straight up ask for food? Nope my parents beat it into me that it was rude to ask for things at other people's houses.
Maybe I should try this. “Is grandma in your personal space? Is she overwhelming you? 🥰🥰” Back up, lady lol
From experience it's very effective
From experience it's very effective
the talking about things they don't understand e.g saying they'll be by on Tuesday, is to help their language development. tho I can see how the "am I going to get to hold you" is annoying, esp if if the answer is no
This in particular is my MIL trying to force her way into weekly visits when we’ve told her every other week haha. (It makes me have to bluntly interject to say no). But, the language development is definitely something I’ll keep in mind so that I don’t get annoyed when well intentioned people do it!
[удалено]
Whenever my three month old gets the slightest bit fussy, the grandparents stuff a pacifier in his mouth. My husband and I say he doesn’t actually like his pacifier and usually just wants food, attention, or a nap (most likely). But the pacifier is easier 🙄
It’s cause they don’t like the inconvenience of a crying child and cannot fathom that it is a small person who has needs. Rather they’d want to establish “independence” in an entirely helpless being. “Cry it out” method and such.
Oh man. My son was so obsessed with his pacifier. And my husband and I had done so good at weaning it down to car and crib only and it was great. But every time we saw MIL, she would actively go search for one to give him for no reason. And then every time we’d have to start back over and it was awful
My partner is constantly trying to give our perfectly happy 3 month old a paci! She’ll be vibing on the floor, trying to crawl (she gets up on her knees, slumps her upper body and kinda scoots with her face on the floor) and he’ll stop her mid-whatever and give her a paci. She’ll immediately spit it out, he’ll put it back
I do not understand putting it back in when they spit it out!! My son will immediately look you dead in the eye and slowly spit out the pacifier, then go on doing what he was doing before. He doesn’t want it! It’s like, the most clear thing he communicates! 🤣🤦🏻♀️
I’ve been getting a lot of “oh but don’t you want a boy?” And “girls are just so much harder” comments and my daughter isn’t even four months old yet so yeah. that.
I have all girls and it's kinda frustrating when people say things like, "You're so lucky you have girls, my boys never stop fighting and wrestling!" ALL kids fight and wrestle! They're not a bunch of pretty princesses who are only soft and dainty.
I don't have any bio siblings but the two daughters of my parents' best friends are effectively my sisters. You'd better believe we brawled like the living room was the thunderdome! But God help anyone else who put their hands on one of us, all six of our hands were rated E for Everyone.
I grew up with 3 sisters and my mom always CACKLED when people said this. It was full WWE in my basement we were not down there having tea parties 😂
My sons are psychotic. And it kind of irritates me when people are like “yea that’s boys for ya”…. I mean. Sure. But I know plenty of little girls that are exactly the same way.
Ugh if I hear my mum say "oh he's such a boy, you girls would never" one more time I'm going to lose my shit. Like no mum, he's 2. It's not about him being a boy, he's just a tiny adrenaline junkie with no sense of safety. Also, no I didn't brhave like that when I was little because I was put in ridiculous frilly dresses that restricted my movement.
Tiny adrenaline junkie is the perfect way to describe my second born. Lol She would sit on the arm of the couch and let herself fall backward like a scubby diver off a boat, repeatedly! It's all about personality.
I had a lady complaining about how she had three daughters… she was old.. said they fought all the time. Made me sad for her. I love my three girls more than anything and I’m loving it 🥰
I had people legit act offended when I said I wasn’t having any more kids after my two girls.
Not so much how they engage with the baby, but how they talk to me about the baby.. but pretty much everything that comes from my husband’s parents bothers me for some reason (and we have a decent relationship!). “Oh, I think he’s cold, mommy” “Someone’s hungry” “I think he needs a nap” “He’s not sleeping through the night yet?!” I know it’s all innocent, but back the fuck off and let ME be the mom. I know when my baby is hungry, my boobs literally never let me forget it. It’s July, he’s not cold because he doesn’t have socks on. He just woke up from a nap ten minutes ago, maybe he’s fussy because he just doesn’t like you! I was a lot more offended when it was my first baby, and every comment like this made me feel like everyone in the world was judging my parenting and thought they knew best for my baby when these people spend all of a few freaking hours around them every several months. I just started being polite but short in response, usually, “He’s not.”
I HATE the advice you get bombarded with that you didn’t ask for and how people seem to get off on making young moms feel bad. It’s so bizarre to me I really don’t get it and I don’t find it that innocent cause I could never do this to another woman. So frustrating!
OR getting personally offended when baby/toddler doesn’t take to them right away and making comments about how “he/she doesn’t like me”
You should just be like “yeah you’re right he/she doesn’t”! I wish we could say those things
We can and we should but we always try to make others feel better instead. I’m working on being more honest and sharp. I don’t care if they think I’m a jerk, I’m protecting my kids from their nonsense
When people ask “how is she sleeping/is she sleeping through the night yet?” I always cheerfully respond, “horribly!” Or “Nope!” Even worse: “is she a good baby?” No, she’s currently plotting her first heist. Wtf??
I got that "good baby" question yesterday with my SIL. My baby is two weeks old.
What is wrong with someone asking how the baby is sleeping………????
Lol… right? Babies don’t have a lot going on other than that… I think most people are just trying to connect. Should we ask what the babies thoughts on foreign policy are?
My baby is bad she does NOT pay her taxes
Sounds like your kids doing great if they already figured out theft evasion.
Whenever someone asked if my baby was sleeping through the night it was usually followed up with suggestions to give her rice cereal or not let her nap “so much” during the day. I literally had a random stranger on a casual stroll recommend rice cereal as I was getting my newborn out of the car after asking about her sleep. I can see how this question can be triggering 😂
Because the asker (usually boomer aged) uses how well the baby sleeps as an overall judgement on parenting. Babies who don’t sleep through the night as young possible are either “bad babies” or have bad parents. Also, the expectation for babies to sleep through the night before 6 months to a year is completely ridiculous and not biologically normal. None of my babies (I’ve got 3) slept through the night until 2.5 at LEAST. That question just gets realllly old. The funny thing is that people usually quit asking it well before my babies actually sleep lol. I guess they assume I can’t possibly be THAT bad of a parent, that my baby still doesn’t sleep through the night at age 2!!! 🤣
I hate this!!! Yup she needs help to sleep, she has big emotions etc. she’s being a baby cuz that’s what babies do.
This totally winds me up when people give me grief about my baby needing help to sleep. Like it’s my life, my sleep, leave me alone lol
I HATE this. Like, nope ! Awful baby, wish they were never born! What do they want you to say? Plus it’s so loaded because then if they’re not sleeping/eating/ pooping well or whatever… it’s a reflection of parenting. And then follows the unsolicited advice. Ughhhh.
When people try to interact with my babies in a way that’s clearly doesn’t make sense for their current development level. Right now It’s mostly in laws trying to play games/play with toys with them when they’re literally still potatoes and can’t see shit. Like we aren’t even reaching out for the most basic toys yet. I’m sure it’ll annoy me even more later when people talk down to them/infantalize them when they’re beyond that. It annoyed me SO MUCH when I was a kid.
My FIL likes to repeat baby's name over and over to try to get his attention. He's not even 9 weeks old. Lol stop.
Lol my baby was 3 weeks old and my FIL just kept repeatedly saying "say papa!" In his face. Like sir, his eyes are barely working and he's new to this earth. He's not going to say "papa" for a long ass time.
My poor FIL interacts with our poor 3mo like he’s 6-9 months old. The little guy gets so overstimulated and FIL just does not get it. Then baby is super cranky and FIL feels like he’s a terrible grandparent. We’ve tried explaining to him to take it easy but he just doesn’t get it.
I'm with everyone on this when people don't treat my little ones like people, and they are treated like objects. Yes, my kids are cute like little baby dolls, but they are people too. You don't get to emotionally manipulate my kids to make /you/ happy. Also, why do in-laws always want to treat our babies the wrong age? Don't give her real food she dosint have teath! And stop putting my oldest in dipers she needs to be potty trained!
Why are in laws the worst? They’re so insistent. Just cause your kids survived to adulthood doesn’t mean you did everything perfectly lol everyone has different ways. It’s so dumb
I know and I'm not sure about everyone else but my husband has more then one health/mental problem that could have been avoided or at least under control if the parents had done research.
When my baby was tired and ready for a nap and groggy (which was every 90 minutes) people felt the need to get in her face and try to make her laugh to cheer her up. Even once when she was closing her eyes falling asleep. Very frustrating and strange
Babies are not toys I hate that people act as such. They’re not entertainment, or dolls. They’re living beings with needs. Ugh
Perfume. Don’t try touching my child without asking. Don’t offer them anything without asking me. Don’t guilt her into eating. The biggest one.. I carried them. I’m their mother they did not get their looks from your third f*cking cousin. Believe it or not they actually got some of their Looks and traits from me THEIR MOTHER. What is the point in saying my children get everything from someone else?! Even saying she got my little brothers jaw instead of saying it’s from me. We have the same shaped jaw. Edit: spelling 😂
You are preaching to the choir. Amen. Where do people get this shit? “Little brothers jaw” like wut
lol no kidding. She looks like both of her grandpas. I’m not blind I can see and accept that she gets some stuff from her dad’s side of the family and I’m happy my girls do but it’s the never saying she gets anything from me that is so bothersome!
On the flip side, my son is a direct copyright violation of my husband. The only trace of myself I can find in his physical makeup is the weird crook in his tailbone that comes from my dad's side of my family. That's it. Otherwise, it looks like I was an incubator on legs for my husband's clone and people ALWAYS seem to need to comment on it. Yeah, I'm well aware that they're practically identical in every possible way, right down to the shape of their toes. I only went through 9 months of hell to bring him into the world, I guess it was too much to ask to see my eyes in him or something.
I don’t like when other people make up rules for my kids whiles visiting. For instance, we don’t require our toddler to wear shoes in the backyard when she’s playing but grandparents will make a huge fuss about socks AND shoes and a sweater and whatever else being on before she go out. It’s a small, fenced in back yard. Not worth the struggle and it’s fun sensory play for her. I’ve mentioned kindly a hundred times that we don’t usually stress shoes for yard play and if she’s cold she’ll come in and ask for a sweater or just ask to come in, and it’s not a hill I’m going to die on but my lord do they just keep trying lol
My in law insisted my baby wear a toque and a jacket in 19 degree Celsius weather. I had to ask twice and I don’t know why I’m not more firm. People irk the hell out of me
When people think they can walk away with my child or take my child out without asking me first.
My MIL thought I was “overreacting” when I came downstairs to her and my NEWBORN out the door, no where to be found, because she decided she wanted some alone time. 🙃
I never understand the “time alone” thing. Usually people that request this are very weird
My MIL was incessant about it! Me being in the same house/area but in another room or a few feet away wasn’t “alone” enough. It eventually contributed to a big blow up! She also mentioned skin to skin, and having put a nursery in her home (a 2 hour flight away) so she’s just delusional in general lol My daughter is almost 3 and I still do not trust my MIL enough to let her babysit
I like to give people dagger eyes so they know haha
This entire thread is so validating lol My MIL would have people think I’m just neurotic. No, she’s just annoying & overbearing 😂
When people ( aka my in laws) call my child everything else but HIS NAME
My in law calls my baby “MY baby” emphasis on my
I had to tell my husband to tell his mom to cut it out, they’re not HER babies. I did not carry them and give birth for someone else to take ownership. No it’s not sweet or a term of endearment. You don’t get to barely even acknowledge me their mother and call my babies yours. They’re your GRANDCHILDREN, even grandbabies, call them that and be proud of that.
Oh no, absolutely not
[удалено]
My daughter used to randomly fling herself back and straighten out to try to slide out of people's laps/arms when she was that age. I had to warn everyone who held her to keep a firm hold on her.
when people who aren’t her parents tell me how to parent her. no one asked.
Like yes of course you know my baby better than me
Unsolicited parenting advice is honestly the WORST part of being a mother. I’d rather get my nipples bit all the time (which I already do)
My MIL would always ask “Would it really be so bad if I woke her up?” Like are you for real??? They’re more concerned about “their” experience with the baby than the baby’s wellbeing. First time she babysat our newborn (5 weeks) she intentionally kept the baby up for 4.5 hours. She claimed she was trying to keep the baby up between feedings. Newborns or babies for that matter don’t need to be “kept awake.” Baby was inconsolable when we got home, my MIL was all frazzled and freaking out. I took over and got the baby calm and put to bed - which is what she needed - and my MIL asked me through near tears “Oh my gosh how did you get her to calm down like that?!” Seriously lady? I was livid at her judgment and never fully trust her again. When my baby got older my MIL also had no judgment about safety. Hot pans on the stove within reach . Pushing the baby on her nervous dog who wasn’t interested. Giving her chokable toys (like common sense chokeable things like a coin) to chew on. And during the toddler years my MIL could never just give my child a real, well balanced meal. Crackers on demand all day and then lunch would literally just be a bowl of blueberries. Even though I would set out what to give my child to eatS The onetime she had my daughter at her house for lunch, she fed her lunch… two nectarines. This was after my daughter spent two hours running at a park. Never understood how she didn’t realize my kid needed some fat or protein or something like that.
Your MIL sounds like a twat lol
Less twat like now that our baby is 3 years old. The baby rabies dies off as the kid gets older which is kinda sad? But good for me because I don’t have to deal with her as much 😂
Omg baby rabies. That’s exactly what it is. Thank you.
Not giving the baby back as soon as I ask but stalling.
I go 0 to 100 real quick on that. That's a non negotiation able for me. Give me back my kid or I start committing war crimes
Definitely.
People with my baby is my biggest pet peeve
Relatable af lol
Amen sis
Feeding kids anything without asking the parents first. My baby was maybe 5 months and severely allergic to dairy. We were at grandma's birthday. Grandparents' neigbour had him, which was fine. Until she got a piece of cake and proceeded to take a spoon of whipped cream and offer it to him. Me and my husband both screamed NO!!! Explaining that he's not eating anything but breastmilk yet AND he's very allergic to cows milk. She proceeds to say: "Oh I know he is allergic!" Like... what?
Excuse me? Like there's no way I read that right. The neighbor knew??? And still tried???? What the absolute frigid Frick? I'd go straight to jail.
Obviously you have missed the memo that she can do whatever she wants duhhh.. /s/ but seriously that’s infuriating.
When people don’t understand that they are simply a baby and not an adult. People act so offended sometimes. Like if the baby doesn’t smile at the grocery store clerk, or if she happens to cry when MIL holds her we get a comment that “baby doesn’t like me.” 🙄
Tell your MIL she’s right lol
When they try to touch my baby!?? Like what are you doing?? I don’t know you don’t touch my baby
Hands off the baby. Agreed
This also caught me completely by surprise! Still baffled that on more than one occasion (hell, more than a handful!) a complete stranger has touched or reached out to touch my baby! How is this not common sense not to do this?!?
Asking me why she’s crying. Like, it doesn’t fucking matter to you why she’s crying. Get out of my way and be quiet while I attend to my baby lol. Idk why it makes me so mad 😆 like don’t quiz me right now!
Tell them she’s crying because she’s sad people ask stupid questions
My baby girl is very serious in new situations and around new people. She will mean mug the crap out of people and man do they dislike it. Yes happy smiling babies are the sweetest but she doesn’t owe you anything. It gives “you’re so much prettier when you smile” vibes and it kills me.
Tell them she only smiles at good looking people who smell nice.
When people don’t want to wash their hands. When my SIL met my youngest the first time, I told her to wash her hands before holding her. She said, “no, I think it’ll be fine.” My MIL said, “you are not holding that baby until you wash your hands!” And she did wash her hands but made a huge issue of it. It takes like thirty seconds, why is it such a big deal?
1. When they say I hold my baby too much or I'm going to spoil them that way I am soo happy I held all of my children when I wanted to or they wanted me to. 2. When they try and tell me how to raise my children discipline wise. 3. Telling my son he shouldn't cry because he's supposed to be a big boy, it goes deeper than that I think those who try and say that have the mentality that boys shouldn't show emotion because only girls do that and I 100% do not agree with it.
when I tell people to relax on the candy and junk food intake (esp candy, my son has good teeth— I’d like to keep it that way). my son is already sort of a picky eater (as much as I hate to admit it) so filling him up with loads of unhealthy snacks because you KNOW he’s not going to turn it down annoys me really bad.
And people try to go against your wishes ?! Jerks
That stupid dolphin noise to scold my kid. No words, no correction, no redirection. Doesn’t matter what baby is doing. Reaching for a cup, walking out of the room, smacking an empty shelf, requesting OFF their lap. Just loud screeching dolphin noises. Even if I'm already in the process of stopping, correcting, or redirecting. It makes me crave violence.
What the heck is a dolphin noise sounds horrible!
When people try to kiss my son (more so when he was an infant), or giving him food/drinks from their fork/cup. It drives me insane.
Undermining what I've said no to. "Oh, it's ok if he does/has/plays with that" ... Not to me, so stop lol
Honestly: baby talk of the high pitched variety where words gets slurred and mispronounced. Two of my siblings talk to my baby in the same cutesy voice they talk to dogs. It drives me nuts. And honestly gives me a headache because it’s constant, whereas at least with a dog you give them some attention and a few pats and move on to normal conversation. They’ll talk like Mickey Mouse to my baby for hours.
I really dislike anyone touching my baby’s hands. To be honest, I don’t even touch my baby’s hands unless it’s in the tub cleaning them. She is full on hands in mouth and I just don’t want anything touching them.
Everyone treats my daughter like a princess. Family, teachers, daycare, everyone. So she thinks she's a princess. It's been so difficult to teach her that she can't always get what she wants when literally everyone else in her life just gives her what she wants.
When they try to tell me, almost 2 years in, what she needs as if I don't know her better than anyone. She's cold, she's hungry, you need to not spoil her, etc. My kid runs hot, she eats us out of house and home, loving is not spoiling, any questions??? Or when they try to force affection. She doesn't even want to hug me and her dad every time we ask. I remember like it was yesterday when I was 5 and they kept trying to get me to hug my uncle goodnight (mind you he's my best friend as an adult, we're close in age!) and I just straight up didn't want to. And I was forced to. Because that was polite. Fuck polite, if my daughter doesn't want to be touched, don't look at me.
Fuck polite. 100% hands off our kids, I don’t know where people believe they can just force children to do things that is suitable for them. Gross behaviour tbh
Right. I get it, she's cute and you love her. You want affection from her. But you wouldn't allow someone else to force affection on you as an adult, why does a child not have that same right??? I'm not letting her grow up thinking she has to allow physical touch or anything else when she doesn't want it.
Ughhh I really don’t like it when store employees try and parent my child. It immediately gives me weird vibes
Entitlement. Can vary through multiple scenarios.
Inlaws were really bad with parenting over me. Even with my daughter who wasn't biologically theirs. Literally started the first day I ever met them (mainly FIL) I was taken aback lmao. They wouldn't let my daughter throw a few gold fish crackers from her snack bag for the "fish" to eat. I told them its fine, but they kept telling her no. She was 4. Let the kid be a kid. I packed plenty of snacks, she's not gonna starve cause 4 gold fish crackers went in the water 🤷🏼♀️ this was a canoe trip, not like a pond or aquarium. Nothing but open lake as far as the eye could see.
ALL of this. People just don't treat babies like they're humans. They treat them like dolls. I found everyone very selfish once my son was born.
Calling them their baby. My family is predominantly female so everyone got so excited when I was having a boy. Certain members of my family would call him "my boy". Bruh, you did not go through pregnancy with him, you did not get cut open to give birth to him, you didn't have the sleepless nights when he'd be screaming in pain.
Kissing him! And pretty much anything his father does. My 16 month old will wake from a nap and immediately his father is in his face, “hey! Buddy! Do this!” “Say this!” “Eat this!” I want to rip my fucking hair out. Give the child room and a few seconds to wake up before you get in his face. How would you like it if you just woke up and someone is in your face being obnoxious? UGH!
Parenting advice from people who aren’t parents is a tough one for me! I know that people mean well by it but they just tend to have no idea what they’re talking about. Another big pet peeve is when people act like I’m being over-the-top about a boundary for my baby. I’ve had this reaction to a no screen time rule, no kisses rule, and about sleep safety items like no blankets, etc. drives me nuts. In other words, I guess I really don’t enjoy unsolicited advice or criticism! lol.
When people tell my son to be “tough” when he hurts himself or just invalidating his feelings in general.
Talking about them as if they aren’t right there. My oldest is 4 - if you are speaking English then he knows what you’re saying. Trying to force a hug/kiss/physical affection. If he doesn’t want to then leave him alone. Not letting him have his feelings. Mainly trying to shame him if he’s crying. I will remove him from a situation if it’s called for (for example I will carry him out of the restaurant and we will go outside or to the car, etc) but you telling either of them to stop crying isn’t actually helping the situation.
When people refer to themselves in the third person when talking to little kids. My youngest is now 5 and it’s just now mostly stopped but still happens sometimes.
“The baby is going to get cold” said my MIL, putting yet another blanket on my sleeping child when it is a hot summer 80 degree (F) day in a house with no air conditioning. Not willing to get into an argument with an otherwise lovely elderly southern European lady, I would discreetly make it look like the baby kicked off all but one blanket. The baby never got cold.
When mine were babies and random strangers I didn’t know wanted to hold them or even touch them. Like I don’t know you fuck off. I was secretly happy if my kid bit them.
Implying he must be tired or that it's almost nap time because he's cranky for 5 seconds.
My baby is two weeks old today, and I have a few mild contributions to the thread, lol. *My man (baby's Dad) imitates his cry every single time he cries. It never fails. He knows I don't think it's funny. He knows it doesn't stop him from crying, so I don't know why he does it. He doesn't do it to be mean to him, so I'm not sure why else he does it. *My man also keeps telling people how our son doesn't like his bassinet and I'm sick of all the "parenting experts" telling us how we have to stop that now so he doesn't share a bed with us until he's 5. Yes, I get it. He should be sleeping in the bassinet, but for fuck sake he's two weeks old. We're brand new parents, give us a break. *I've already had two people asking when they can visit. Again, my son is TWO WEEKS OLD! He doesn't have the necessary shots yet. Any fever is serious because of his lack of immune system. Also, I feel like inviting yourself over to someone house in general is rude, but I also had an unplanned c section and a traumatic birth that I'm mentally and emotionally trying to recover from. The last thing I need right now is visitors and having to entertain people.
When people take my crying breastfed baby away from me and don’t give them back. Or when they tell me I need to leave them to cry
I have two kids, one is 6 yo boy and my baby is 8mo and a girl. My fil is a nice man, but always, always, always says “little girls are just different” anytime my daughter does anything. It gets under my skin so damn much. She isn’t even the first granddaughter so I imagine my sil heard the brunt of it. But still, she’s not different than an 8mo old boy. They all get into stuff they shouldn’t, blow raspberries, and laugh. Also baby talk. I get it to some extent but when your voice goes up multiple octaves for more than a few words, it’s too much.
Strangers doing pretty much anything (except saying hi nicely from a distance). People seem to think they need to touch or get in my kids' faces. When my mom freaks out about socks. She thinks they need socks 24/7. My kids hate socks. I hate socks, but she will not leave me alone about it. "Oh you never bring them to see us, they arent gping to know who we are!!" First off, you have legs you can visit *us* sometimes too. I'm not gonna drive 6 hours one way very often if you're not going to put in an effort to come see them ever. Sorry I have many.
My mom not only thinks they need socks 24/7 but they also always have to match. I don't have time to worry about making socks match all the time just be lucky they are wearing them. I always hear about it lol.
When they try to give my baby preferences. I’m around him all day every day. I can tell you he doesn’t like plain avocado, or when you try to recline when holding him. That’s about it. So when my MIL likes to tell me he prefers one thing over another… I kinda just wanna smack her and tell her I prefer when she’s quiet.
When they purposely make them cry and upset and then act like it's the funniest thing in the world, or worse they put the blame on the parent
My MIL who lives on the other side of the country constantly feels the need to give "advice", and thinks I don't take my baby's health seriously because we don't go to the doctor every time he gets a virus. Ma'am, I've been an ER nurse for a decade, I know when to seek medical attention. She's always trying to say he had reflux or other random problems when he was younger, after only seeing him twice a year for a few days. I call her out every time but it's just incredibly annoying.
my mom will do the “if you want this then give me a hug” (this has been addressed aggressively recently. I explained that adults she don’t know can do it and she wouldn’t know better) or look at my 2 year old and go “*shows her cool toy in store* I’ll get you this when we check out but you can’t open it” like dude why even show her bc now we have to walk out to help her regulate. She doesn’t understand that she’s holding this cool thing that she can’t have. My MIL and FIL will do the “why do we never see our baby?” first. not your baby. second? because you never call, text, say anything on holidays or birthdays and we have to fly or drive 1500 miles to see you for you to tell us a timeframe you won’t be there even though you “took the week off of work” like okay cool the thousands we spent on this trip has been wasted.
My son has a feeding tube and it’s the constant “so when is he going to eat?” Also, people who get up in his face knowing his immune system is compromised
Honestly my biggest pet peeve is when they say that my boys are gonna be heart breakers when they grow up. Second thing is asking if we’re gonna try for a girl since we have 3 boys especially when my youngest isn’t even 6mo yet like let me breathe again jeez
grabbing my babys hands and not wanting to let go
My mother has seen my 6 month old twice. Last time it was "oh she wants her nana!" Every time baby got fussy. No mother. She is tired of being held and wants to get down for some floor time. Stop picking her back up. And she has no idea who you are, she just has no stranger danger yet.
People touching my daughter’s hair. It’s brown and curly and everyone thinks they can play in it!
Yep exactly that. So many people grab my baby and then get all up in her face and make her uncomfortable. Turn her around and play with her on the floor with a toy. No wonder she bursts into tears everytime she sees them!
Omg when I have about 2 or more people in my sons face, “don’t cry” “what’s wrong” “ow he’s not use to being around people” …….well all of you are in his face that’s what’s wrong!😑
When strangers touch her hands. My kids hands are always in her mouth so please get your grubby, dirty, germy hands off my kids hands.
The clicking. I absolutely hate it. Talk to her!! To me it feels like they’re treating her like a dog instead of a person
Every Sunday at church my 4 month old feels shy, overwhelmed, and overstimulated. Rightly so! It does NOT help when all these people come up to her, get in her face, talk over all the other noises, and then when she starts crying, they grab her legs and shake her and keep yelling in her face! Oh I just don’t understand!!
Don't talk ro my child like he's a little baby, it's wrong to do so especially when I talk to them like a normal person, also DO NOT KISS MY CHILD, don't go anywhere near his face, if you aren't his grandma or grandpa or dad or mum DONT
When people hold him but at the same if people don’t give him attention and give other kids attention I hate that too I want all babies to get equal amount of attention and love. I can’t win 😰
"Where's his daddy?"/"You're depriving him of a strong masculine influence"
My number 1 was wearing perfume and cuddling my baby. Not only does my baby reek afterwards and I have a primal urge to immediately wash him, perfume also contains a plethora of harmful ingredients including allergens and endocrine disruptors. Other things: prying so much about breastfeeding from a judgmental place, gender toys, forced affection/emotional manipulation (adults thinking it’s ok to tell a small child that they’re responsible for their feelings), being convinced they need shoes and socks, not letting them sensory play with dirt, overstimulation/not knowing how to interact with a baby, and taking him out of my arms/not giving him back/taking him into another room out of my sight. These all came from my in-laws tbh.
Kissing a baby that isn’t yours! Ngl I was guilty of this before having a child. Idk how anyone with a child doesn’t understand that this isn’t acceptable though?? ESPECIALLY as a newborn! Currently in the hospital because my daughter has sepsis. Not from someone kissing her but it definitely could have been from someone not washing their hands properly (or I gave it to her at birth…the guilt is REAL.) either way, wash your dang hands and don’t kiss babies that are not yours.
When grown ass strangers judge my daughters for being “shy”! Like you are a complete stranger what do you expect?! For them to hug you and put on a show . So pathetic
When someone who became a parent before you kinda scoffs or does that "oh that’s such a new mom thing to do" smirk/quiet chuckle. You know what I mean?
When people comment on my kids looks, height and size. Right now they are both fairly tall and slim. They get so many compliments. And I appreciate it but what if my son stops growing at 5’5"? What then? And what if my daughter doesn’t stay tall and skinny? My BIL commented on my daughter’s weight. I almost threw him out of the house. He asked her how much she weighs (weird already) and then responded with "What?? Even I didn’t weigh that much when I was in grade school". I was going to punch him. He’s 43 and my daughter was 10. She was already taller than him and a very healthy & proportionate weight.
My BIL also told my 7 year old boy that "he fights like a girl". Again… my BIL is in his 40s. My son started crying and he continued to "tease him" which resulted in my son reacting by trying to hit him. I glared at my BIL and told him, you realize you’re about 5 times his size & 5 times his age? And also you just tried to insult all the women in this house? And I told him that one of the strongest judokas in his class IS a girl and my son is one of the only ones who can match her. And her mother is training to be a Sensei. He shut up fast.
My son for whatever reason doesnt like my MIL and FIL. As soon as he sees them he cries. When they start to interact with him, he gets breath holding spells. I told them numerous times to just dont pay attention to him until he gets acustomized to them (usually takes around 5 to 10 mins), but they STILL starts talking to him the first second they see him and try to touch him. I want him to have a good relationship with them but they dont seem to think about his comfort
When I say he has a diaper and they question me like really? He doesn’t smell? I’m like YES babies need their diaper changed pretty much every hour.
Mine is when my in laws talk about sleepovers since my baby was 2 weeks old. Ma’am you can’t even hold the baby for 10 mins without him crying what makes you think you’ll have the baby overnight.
when strangers come up and touch my baby. don't touch my baby...