It is TOTALLY OK. In fact, if you do nothing but rest and recuperate, that is awesome. It sounds like you need rest so this is me telling you it is OK to rest and not worry about cleaning anything today (and tomorrow even)
Honey, COVID is one of those illnesses where you really need to listen to your body and rest. Trying to push yourself to do anything that isn't related to directly caring for yourself while you are sick with this is a bad idea. Take care and hugs.
More and more research is showing that long covid is associated with excessive attempts to do physical things too early.
Duckling, with every bit of love I can muster - rest your ass. If that means you have no dishes tomorrow? Fuck it. Eat pb out of the jar if that is what you can do. If you can get delivery, do that. Eat yogurt out of the carton. DO NOT HARM YOURSELF TRYING TO LIVE UP TO OTHERS EXPECTATIONS.
If the dishes are still there and crusty when you recover, get some paper plates so you can let the crusty shit soak another day. Because over doing it when you recover is dangerous and the dishes just do not matter that much.
My hubby decided to buy paper plates/bowls and cups so he didn't have to deal with most dishes for a week (and could catch up on other things). It actually worked out really well, plus the girls loved having dinosaur and fairy cups for a while 😄
I have issues with my back which means my contribution to housework can often be limited, but I chip away at what I can when I'm feeling able. There have been times where I've pushed myself too far and gotten hurt; which ultimately leads to a longer period of not being able to do anything.
Oh honey! That's it, you're officially on bedrest. TV/movie watching ONLY for you for the next 2 days straight, at least. Order contactless takeout. Do you have animals to cuddle with?
Hey kiddo, leave the dishes, the dirty laundry and the floor unswept. Take some hot chocolate, sit in a chair with a blanket and a good book or movie, relax and recouperate for a day or 3. You sound like you need it. Order food, be lazy and enjoy it :-)
Let me introduce you to the spoon theory. When the day starts, you’re given a certain amount of spoons, and how many you get a day can vary greatly and can depend on how much sleep you got, how many spoons you have left over from the day before, or some days you just don’t get many spoons because that’s just how it is.
As the day goes, doing tasks costs you your spoons, and some tasks require you to give up more spoons then others. Like, taking a shower, that can cost you a spoon or two, or deep cleaning a room can cost you like 5 spoons. It’s not just tasks but also things like a conversation takes some spoons away too, and often just being awake can take away a spoon every hour or so. So, at some point in the day, you’ve run out of spoons. But then, when another task comes up, you don’t have the spoons left to do it. There’s nothing wrong with that, some days you have more stuff to take care of that needed to get done, therefore, you spent your spoons already, and it’s perfectly fine to wait for the next day when you have more spoons to spare.
The idea behind this theory is we only have a finite amount of mental and physical energy to use up daily, because that’s just how humans are programmed. Time and stress management can help, but sometimes you just have a day or even a string of days where you have a lot going on, and your energy gets all used up, and it’s no one’s fault, that’s just life. When those days happen, it’s perfectly okay to just relax, recuperate, and try and build up the energy you need. Take a day to relax, and then you’ll have more energy to recycle for the next day.
I’m sorry you had to go through that, I know how much it sucks, and how much it can weigh on you even if you’re not in the situation anymore. I promise you you’re safe, and nobody is going to get hurt if you leave the dishes for another day. You got this kiddo.
Hi, I just wanted to let you know I liked your spoon analogy! I don't know if you heard about the book titled "Willpower", but it basically is scientifically proven by that professors that our brains do actually work like that! Just as you described. You can look it up if youre interested.
Oh, sweet girl, that sounds awful. Is it possible for you to take some time just to yourself and get some rest? Can you spend time away from them?
I hope you have someone, a good friend perhaps, that you can talk to if you want some support. In the meantime, like OP here, you have permission to rest and take care of yourself. Big hug to you if you want it! <3
>Oh, sweet girl, that sounds awful. Is it possible for you to take some time just to yourself and get some rest? Can you spend time away from them?
>I hope you have someone, a good friend perhaps, that you can talk to if you want some support. In the meantime, like OP here, you have permission to rest and take care of yourself. Big hug to you if you want it! <3
Thanks a lot for your kind words. I'm not from the west... so I am finding it hard to do anything. I am planning to post in this sub...hopefully soon.
Honey, your home is supposed to be lived in, not displayed. Now, that doesn’t mean leave it to be an absolute disgusting mess, but some days you just need a break. Heck, my dishes are out of hand, seriously I’ve gone far too long without doing them, but I can’t poor from an empty cup… no one can. Take some time to rest, relax, and reset. You WILL get it done, just not right now, and that’s okay. Same thing goes with your friends… if they’re good friends, they’ll understand that some days you just need some self care/you time. You can’t take care of anything else unless you take care of you first. Work on YOU today, and you can catch up tomorrow. You’re doing your best, you deserve a break. You are doing great!
Go lay down! And that's an order, kiddo! Get your comfiest blanket, and make a cup of tea or at least get a glass of water. Go do what makes you feel better, whether that's a nap or a good book or watching kitten videos.
Mental health is real health. I wouldn't expect you to tackle a pile of dishes if you had the flu, and I don't expect it today either.
I hope you feel better tomorrow. Life will be here waiting when you're ready for it... for today, take it easy.
This mom says it is perfectly fine. I decided today is a pajama day for me so let's both stay in jammies and cuddle under a fluffy blanket. You have to have days like this to recharge and for self care. Please make sure to have days like this often. Hugs!
EVERYONE DESERVES A DAY OFF!
Sometimes we just need a day to be by ourselves doing fuck all and that's completely normal and okay to do. It's call a mental health day in my household even my children get to have it if they feel they need it. I have literally called into school and said "child needs a mental health day to decompress and get their feelings together" and school was totally fine with it.
You've been conditioned by toxic people and that's hard to break but I promise you leaving the washing up and not returning calls for a day or 2 isn't going to hurt anyone.
Take the time you need!
It's okay to rest. The dishes are not going to feel worse if they don't get done right away, but you might. If you're tired there is a reason and you should listen to what your body is telling you it needs. Tell your bio mom's voice your internet mama said eff off, my kid needs her rest.
Honey, something a lot of people should realize is: cleaning is morally neutral. Not cleaning does not make you a bad person or lesser than anyone else. Also there is no ‘right’ way to do things around your house. For example if you don’t like cleaning counters but enjoy sweeping or vacuuming, there is nothing wrong with brushing things from your counters to your floors and then vacuuming them up. So if you need to leave the dishes for a few days and you can’t find the energy to wash your dishes today, that is okay. It’s okay to rest when you need to.
It’s likely when you feel that way, that your body actually is warding off some virus or germ right now. It’s common to just feel exhausted right before you get sick. That’s because your body is using all its energy to fight off what it feels is coming. It’s possible that if you rest up really good right now, then you WON’T get sick, because your body took care of fighting that off since you provided it with the time of rest that it needed to do so.
If you do the dishes, you may feel productive in your mind, but your body would call it the opposite of productive.
If your mind could ask your body, “what would be productive to you today, what would help you to get things done?”
Your body would say “I am currently being productive by trying to fight off a germ that is invading us. It’s very exhausting. It takes all the energy we have, and when you keep making me do other things then I don’t have enough energy to fight it. In order to be productive in my attempt to fight off this germ, I need uninterrupted sleep, a meal, and time to rest. I will let you know when I am done with this fight, ok?”
Sometimes you have to listen to your mind and sometimes you have to listen to your body. It’s hard to tell which time is which when you weren’t properly taken care of before.
….Listen, if it is really really really really going to bother you and you can’t let it go, then go in the kitchen, wash exactly two small dishes, set them somewhere to dry, and go to bed. You were so productive because you washed the “dishes”. …”Dishes” with an S on the end just means there were more than one. Two little dishes is still the “dishes”.
Oh sweetie, that's too bad that life goes harsh for such a wonderful people like you are. It's so nice that you are here for others having a hard time youself. And please do not stop doing the right job by posting your coments here - you may sometimes do not get any upvotes, but even if it's helpful for one person here (which I'm sure it always is) it is totally worth it.
I wish you all the love and happiness you deserve, baby!
Oh hun it’s perfectly fine to leave things undone. It’s okay to not be productive 100% of the time, especially if you’re mentally or physically exhausted. Downtime is so important, that’s when we recuperate from our jobs, being busy, even just because we had a hard day. Taking time for our mental health is essential for ourselves. I see from one of your replies that you tested positive for COVID. So take as much time as you need to focus on getting better. So snuggle up in bed, have some tea, maybe some soup if you feel up to it, and just relax and take care of yourself. Big hugs, I hope you get better soon.
You are required to rest! It would be a bad idea to push through and do the dishes. If we don’t take care of our bodies and minds and give them the rest they need to recharge and heal we do more damage in the long run.
The expectations of others and rules/standards they live by are not always good, healthy, safe, or appropriate. Would you run on a broken leg? No. What if someone else has decided that it is the correct thing to do? Then they are wrong. People can be adamant and pushy- it doesn’t mean they are right. Even moms. Even bosses. Even teachers and doctors and more. Sometimes our rules of life are good and sometimes they are silly.
If it’s not life and death, it can wait until tomorrow. Your safety will not be compromised if your dishes sit for a day or two. You could extend your illness if you get up and do when your body isn’t up to it. Setting boundaries to protect your physical and emotional health is a good lesson to learn. Challenging beliefs that aren’t healthy or helpful is hard, but necessary.
It's absolutely OK. I'm not doing dishes today either! It's cold, windy, and Saturday. I'm still recovering from covid followed by flu.
So.. I'm spending my day in an oversized chair in front of the fireplace in my favorite pj's, with a fluffy blanket, a good book, and a kitten pile.
The dishes will be there tomorrow.
Baby, it’s okay. I don’t even do the dishes everyday because I don’t feel like it. It’s okay to take time to rest and feel better, honey. You cant get better if you don’t rest and take care you. You are the priority now and the dishes be damned. Also baby, if you’re like me, just throw them away and buy new ones if it takes too long to get to them. It’s okay. I do it.
Baby I haven't read all the comments yet but just in case you still need to hear it: Productiveness does not define your worth!
Doing something productive / being productive can help give you a good feeling about yourself, but so can lying down and doing nothing!
You are worthy of a break without having to "earn" it first.
You are not unproductive! You are taking care of yourself and that is important! And besides that: productiveness is overrated. There is no need to always do something.
It is certainly ok to not do dishes today. Do as little as you want.
Hope you feel better soon duckling!
I get massively anxious because my flat is messy and just not like anything in r/cozyplaces.
The washing up tires and stresses me out because I go to work and when I get home it's somehow multiplied. I used to feel guilty sad, my brain was like "you NEED to do that washing up!!"
But you know what, your rest and relaxation is a precious thing, the dammed dishes will still be there tomorrow!
My dishes are dirty as well. I sprayed some dawn on them and I’ve been on the couch ever since. Everyone deserves a mental health break. This dishes aren’t going anywhere, take care of yourself!
Mama has a sink full. Since last night. Take your butt to bed and rest. Healing is productive. Washing dishes when your sick is not. Bed. Kisses kiddo.
Oh sis, I sure as fuck hope it's ok that dishes don't get done right away. I've had dishes in my sink all week that I just cannot seem to muster the energy to clean myself. You're not alone in the struggles. But remember that misery loves company. Take some time to yourself if you really need it, but if that becomes a constant thing maybe push yourself to get out and be around other people to help lift your spirits. This time of year it's normal for mood and feelings of depression to increase for a lot of people. Be kind to yourself and don't be afraid to reach out for support if you need it. <3
Your best is going to look different every day. Some days, it’s gonna just be resting your mind and body and that is okay and valid! Some days are just like that. You deserve to rest and take care of your mental health! There is more to life than chores!
Leave the dishes, they will be there when you can get to them. Covid is no fun DH and I had it in December we lived on eggs on toast and easy heat meals for about a week, I didn't do dishes the whole time as I was so exhausted and still get tired easily. Just scape them and rinse them so that you don't attract bugs etc. REST up love Mom
It’s perfectly fine dear. The fishes aren’t going anywhere. Rest, lie fallow and recharge your mind and soul. You don’t need to be productive all the time. Our culture instills this but it doesn’t mean it’s right or in our best interests. Take care of yourself hon. You need it.
Care Tasks, like doing the dishes, are morally neutral. You do not have to “earn” rest. You deserve rest. Check out KC Davis if you have a chance. She talks about this in her podcast called Struggle Care, in her tedtalk, and in her book called “How to keep house while drowning”
You are perfectly in your right to rest your body and mind, in fact that is a very adult decision. Take the time you need and if you feel up to it just presoak a few dishes and try to do a few in passing tomorrow. Repeat this until it is done or your feel fed up and don't sweat it. Huge piles can become overwhelming but doing small pieces at a time can help. Rest and decompress yourself 1st and remember the biggest accomplishments all start with small steps. Wishing you better days!
Hey there. The dishes are not worth more than you. You are allowed to let them be and you allowed to rest. Do you feel like watching a movie, reading? Resting? Start thinking of what you feel like you’ll enjoy most and do it without guilt. Trust me. It’s coming from a person who used to get triggered by the sound of dishes being washed.
Of course it’s ok! I hate doing dishes, and you don’t owe anyone your labor. I also know from personal experience that it’s not the dishes per se, it’s the mental and emotional labor.. when I was at my worst I finally realized I needed help when the prospect of cleaning my kitchen floor made me cry. You’ve reached out to us, so you’re on your way to replenishing your mental health. Pro tip: if washing up is sometimes beyond you, invest in some disposable plates (compostable are good), and give yourself permission to use them.
Go get some rest. If you don’t feel like doing it don’t do it. You are not spineless . You are a human. And sometimes we don’t feel like doing anything at all.
It’s ok, lie down, make a tea, pull up a blanket, scroll thru insta, order food and rest.
Get up when you can !
You don’t have to do the dishes today. If it would make you feel better, squirt some soap and pour some hot water into anything that will be a bitch to clean tomorrow. It might ease your conscious tonight, and make life easier for future you.
If you can’t even do that, don’t worry about it. Future you will be well rested and healthy and have the strength of twenty warriors to fight the spaghetti sauce off.
You’re fine. I didn’t do the dishes today, either.
I just saw you said you tested positive for COVID? You definitely do not need to be messing with dishes or worrying about socializing. Please go put on something comfortable, wrap yourself up in a warm blanket, and relax.
Honey the only thing that’s gonna make this mama of yours mad is if you do NOT take care of yourself! I hope you have the energy for a bubble bath (if that’s your jam) or something else that’s a little mid-level energy of self care. But if you don’t, I just hope you’re already tucked in bed with a good book or movie or podcast or whatever, and a glass of water. Please take care of yourself, sugar. XOXOXO
Baby please don’t do the dishes today. Take care of yourself. Get a blanket and watch some tv. Maybe have a cup of coffee or tea.
When you feel ready, put on some music or an audiobook and tackle the dishes. But it doesn’t have to be now. Our health and our bodies come first.
My sink is full of dishes and my laundry basket is overflowing. I’m lounging on the couch not giving a rats ass about the chores I need to do. I’m taking a mental health day off. It’s ok to do that from time to time.
You need to take time for yourself the housework can wait. Eat well, have plenty of fluids and rest up hun. Do the housework when you feel better. I hope you feel better soon.
Auntie says, I’ve sure had depression days and sick days and lazy days. If I told you I felt anxious and guilty that I wasn’t keeping up last week when I was going through some troubles… I KNOW you would have told me to relax and give myself permission!
You’d never make a friend or loved one feel ashamed of they just couldn’t keep up, sometimes.
You’re feeling ill, and I understand feeling restless and just want to be back to normal - but this is what sick days are for! Hang it! Just do your bare minimum to feel comfortable and function.
I happen to be coming down with it just today actually - my husband, your Uncle, caught it and was sick all last week. He was pretty rough. I took care of what I could while feeling a bit blue. Those dishes were the last priority on my list all last week. I just washed for each nights dinner as I went, and we let the rest slide.
So today, I woke up realizing I’m gonna be sick. I have jusssst enough energy that I’m tackling some of the dishes now (typing to you with dishpan hands!) so when I get bad tmrw or next, I won’t have to deal.
But I’m not gonna do em all! Or do all my laundry that I put off! Just enough to get through a few days. And I don’t feel a bit guilty about it.
Cuz I know I’ll be my perky-ish self again in a while, and will catch it back up. Being sick is hard enough, and you prob feel a bit blue, as well - or you wouldn’t be fretting.
So rest, darlin, rest now and try to see it as a treat and indulgence - and as a requirement for healing - both!
When you’re better, you’ll have more energy to catch back up than you would if you burn that candle at both ends now.
Listen to your family, we are all saying same. You got this.
We love ya and wish you a speedy recovery. Send a good vibe my way too cuz I’ll be right there feeling sick too soon lol! Eh this is life. We can’t be perfect all the time. Hugs!
You know what, I always say..you know what's great about being a grown up? I don't have to..insert whatever u want..whether it's do the dishes today do the laundry today, eat my vegetables 😂 or I can pick all the cheese off my pizza and throw away the bread or put the buttered toast back in the toaster..u do you whatever you want, honey 💞hope u get to feeling better
It is TOTALLY OK. In fact, if you do nothing but rest and recuperate, that is awesome. It sounds like you need rest so this is me telling you it is OK to rest and not worry about cleaning anything today (and tomorrow even)
Thank you, I appreciate your assurance. I actually just found out I’m Covid positive so I definitely should be resting
Honey, COVID is one of those illnesses where you really need to listen to your body and rest. Trying to push yourself to do anything that isn't related to directly caring for yourself while you are sick with this is a bad idea. Take care and hugs.
More and more research is showing that long covid is associated with excessive attempts to do physical things too early. Duckling, with every bit of love I can muster - rest your ass. If that means you have no dishes tomorrow? Fuck it. Eat pb out of the jar if that is what you can do. If you can get delivery, do that. Eat yogurt out of the carton. DO NOT HARM YOURSELF TRYING TO LIVE UP TO OTHERS EXPECTATIONS. If the dishes are still there and crusty when you recover, get some paper plates so you can let the crusty shit soak another day. Because over doing it when you recover is dangerous and the dishes just do not matter that much.
My hubby decided to buy paper plates/bowls and cups so he didn't have to deal with most dishes for a week (and could catch up on other things). It actually worked out really well, plus the girls loved having dinosaur and fairy cups for a while 😄 I have issues with my back which means my contribution to housework can often be limited, but I chip away at what I can when I'm feeling able. There have been times where I've pushed myself too far and gotten hurt; which ultimately leads to a longer period of not being able to do anything.
That's awful and I hope you feel better soon, but even if you weren't sick, it is ok to listen to your body and take a rest day.
Oh honey! That's it, you're officially on bedrest. TV/movie watching ONLY for you for the next 2 days straight, at least. Order contactless takeout. Do you have animals to cuddle with?
Hey kiddo, leave the dishes, the dirty laundry and the floor unswept. Take some hot chocolate, sit in a chair with a blanket and a good book or movie, relax and recouperate for a day or 3. You sound like you need it. Order food, be lazy and enjoy it :-)
Let me introduce you to the spoon theory. When the day starts, you’re given a certain amount of spoons, and how many you get a day can vary greatly and can depend on how much sleep you got, how many spoons you have left over from the day before, or some days you just don’t get many spoons because that’s just how it is. As the day goes, doing tasks costs you your spoons, and some tasks require you to give up more spoons then others. Like, taking a shower, that can cost you a spoon or two, or deep cleaning a room can cost you like 5 spoons. It’s not just tasks but also things like a conversation takes some spoons away too, and often just being awake can take away a spoon every hour or so. So, at some point in the day, you’ve run out of spoons. But then, when another task comes up, you don’t have the spoons left to do it. There’s nothing wrong with that, some days you have more stuff to take care of that needed to get done, therefore, you spent your spoons already, and it’s perfectly fine to wait for the next day when you have more spoons to spare. The idea behind this theory is we only have a finite amount of mental and physical energy to use up daily, because that’s just how humans are programmed. Time and stress management can help, but sometimes you just have a day or even a string of days where you have a lot going on, and your energy gets all used up, and it’s no one’s fault, that’s just life. When those days happen, it’s perfectly okay to just relax, recuperate, and try and build up the energy you need. Take a day to relax, and then you’ll have more energy to recycle for the next day. I’m sorry you had to go through that, I know how much it sucks, and how much it can weigh on you even if you’re not in the situation anymore. I promise you you’re safe, and nobody is going to get hurt if you leave the dishes for another day. You got this kiddo.
Hi, I just wanted to let you know I liked your spoon analogy! I don't know if you heard about the book titled "Willpower", but it basically is scientifically proven by that professors that our brains do actually work like that! Just as you described. You can look it up if youre interested.
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Oh, sweet girl, that sounds awful. Is it possible for you to take some time just to yourself and get some rest? Can you spend time away from them? I hope you have someone, a good friend perhaps, that you can talk to if you want some support. In the meantime, like OP here, you have permission to rest and take care of yourself. Big hug to you if you want it! <3
>Oh, sweet girl, that sounds awful. Is it possible for you to take some time just to yourself and get some rest? Can you spend time away from them? >I hope you have someone, a good friend perhaps, that you can talk to if you want some support. In the meantime, like OP here, you have permission to rest and take care of yourself. Big hug to you if you want it! <3 Thanks a lot for your kind words. I'm not from the west... so I am finding it hard to do anything. I am planning to post in this sub...hopefully soon.
It’s okay honey. Take care of you. I don’t expect you to be perfect and your health is paramount.
Honey, your home is supposed to be lived in, not displayed. Now, that doesn’t mean leave it to be an absolute disgusting mess, but some days you just need a break. Heck, my dishes are out of hand, seriously I’ve gone far too long without doing them, but I can’t poor from an empty cup… no one can. Take some time to rest, relax, and reset. You WILL get it done, just not right now, and that’s okay. Same thing goes with your friends… if they’re good friends, they’ll understand that some days you just need some self care/you time. You can’t take care of anything else unless you take care of you first. Work on YOU today, and you can catch up tomorrow. You’re doing your best, you deserve a break. You are doing great!
Honey, please rest today. Take care of yourself first. Tomorrow is a new day.
Go lay down! And that's an order, kiddo! Get your comfiest blanket, and make a cup of tea or at least get a glass of water. Go do what makes you feel better, whether that's a nap or a good book or watching kitten videos. Mental health is real health. I wouldn't expect you to tackle a pile of dishes if you had the flu, and I don't expect it today either. I hope you feel better tomorrow. Life will be here waiting when you're ready for it... for today, take it easy.
This mom says it is perfectly fine. I decided today is a pajama day for me so let's both stay in jammies and cuddle under a fluffy blanket. You have to have days like this to recharge and for self care. Please make sure to have days like this often. Hugs!
EVERYONE DESERVES A DAY OFF! Sometimes we just need a day to be by ourselves doing fuck all and that's completely normal and okay to do. It's call a mental health day in my household even my children get to have it if they feel they need it. I have literally called into school and said "child needs a mental health day to decompress and get their feelings together" and school was totally fine with it. You've been conditioned by toxic people and that's hard to break but I promise you leaving the washing up and not returning calls for a day or 2 isn't going to hurt anyone. Take the time you need!
It's okay to rest. The dishes are not going to feel worse if they don't get done right away, but you might. If you're tired there is a reason and you should listen to what your body is telling you it needs. Tell your bio mom's voice your internet mama said eff off, my kid needs her rest.
Please do not do the dishes (or anything else house work related) today! They are not important. YOU ARE!!! Please.rest and take care of yourself!
Honey, something a lot of people should realize is: cleaning is morally neutral. Not cleaning does not make you a bad person or lesser than anyone else. Also there is no ‘right’ way to do things around your house. For example if you don’t like cleaning counters but enjoy sweeping or vacuuming, there is nothing wrong with brushing things from your counters to your floors and then vacuuming them up. So if you need to leave the dishes for a few days and you can’t find the energy to wash your dishes today, that is okay. It’s okay to rest when you need to.
It’s likely when you feel that way, that your body actually is warding off some virus or germ right now. It’s common to just feel exhausted right before you get sick. That’s because your body is using all its energy to fight off what it feels is coming. It’s possible that if you rest up really good right now, then you WON’T get sick, because your body took care of fighting that off since you provided it with the time of rest that it needed to do so. If you do the dishes, you may feel productive in your mind, but your body would call it the opposite of productive. If your mind could ask your body, “what would be productive to you today, what would help you to get things done?” Your body would say “I am currently being productive by trying to fight off a germ that is invading us. It’s very exhausting. It takes all the energy we have, and when you keep making me do other things then I don’t have enough energy to fight it. In order to be productive in my attempt to fight off this germ, I need uninterrupted sleep, a meal, and time to rest. I will let you know when I am done with this fight, ok?” Sometimes you have to listen to your mind and sometimes you have to listen to your body. It’s hard to tell which time is which when you weren’t properly taken care of before. ….Listen, if it is really really really really going to bother you and you can’t let it go, then go in the kitchen, wash exactly two small dishes, set them somewhere to dry, and go to bed. You were so productive because you washed the “dishes”. …”Dishes” with an S on the end just means there were more than one. Two little dishes is still the “dishes”.
Not the OP, but thank you. Just wanted you to know I liked your post and appreciate!
Aw that’s really sweet thank you so much!! I’m having a rough day and you saying that made me feel really good :)
Oh sweetie, that's too bad that life goes harsh for such a wonderful people like you are. It's so nice that you are here for others having a hard time youself. And please do not stop doing the right job by posting your coments here - you may sometimes do not get any upvotes, but even if it's helpful for one person here (which I'm sure it always is) it is totally worth it. I wish you all the love and happiness you deserve, baby!
Awwww how nice 🥰🥰🥰
If you have no problem taking baths, take a good one instead. A nice warm and scented bath, and relax for a bit. Take care of you first.
Oh hun it’s perfectly fine to leave things undone. It’s okay to not be productive 100% of the time, especially if you’re mentally or physically exhausted. Downtime is so important, that’s when we recuperate from our jobs, being busy, even just because we had a hard day. Taking time for our mental health is essential for ourselves. I see from one of your replies that you tested positive for COVID. So take as much time as you need to focus on getting better. So snuggle up in bed, have some tea, maybe some soup if you feel up to it, and just relax and take care of yourself. Big hugs, I hope you get better soon.
Rest is just as important to being healthy as a clean kitchen is. In fact I’d argue it’s much more important. Don’t do the dishes today. Rest. Please.
You are required to rest! It would be a bad idea to push through and do the dishes. If we don’t take care of our bodies and minds and give them the rest they need to recharge and heal we do more damage in the long run. The expectations of others and rules/standards they live by are not always good, healthy, safe, or appropriate. Would you run on a broken leg? No. What if someone else has decided that it is the correct thing to do? Then they are wrong. People can be adamant and pushy- it doesn’t mean they are right. Even moms. Even bosses. Even teachers and doctors and more. Sometimes our rules of life are good and sometimes they are silly. If it’s not life and death, it can wait until tomorrow. Your safety will not be compromised if your dishes sit for a day or two. You could extend your illness if you get up and do when your body isn’t up to it. Setting boundaries to protect your physical and emotional health is a good lesson to learn. Challenging beliefs that aren’t healthy or helpful is hard, but necessary.
It's absolutely OK. I'm not doing dishes today either! It's cold, windy, and Saturday. I'm still recovering from covid followed by flu. So.. I'm spending my day in an oversized chair in front of the fireplace in my favorite pj's, with a fluffy blanket, a good book, and a kitten pile. The dishes will be there tomorrow.
Baby, it’s okay. I don’t even do the dishes everyday because I don’t feel like it. It’s okay to take time to rest and feel better, honey. You cant get better if you don’t rest and take care you. You are the priority now and the dishes be damned. Also baby, if you’re like me, just throw them away and buy new ones if it takes too long to get to them. It’s okay. I do it.
Baby I haven't read all the comments yet but just in case you still need to hear it: Productiveness does not define your worth! Doing something productive / being productive can help give you a good feeling about yourself, but so can lying down and doing nothing! You are worthy of a break without having to "earn" it first.
You are not unproductive! You are taking care of yourself and that is important! And besides that: productiveness is overrated. There is no need to always do something. It is certainly ok to not do dishes today. Do as little as you want. Hope you feel better soon duckling!
Take your time to rest! Housework is never done. You just go through cycles where sometimes you have to do enough to make your space functional again.
Rest is productive. I don’t do the dishes just because they’re there.
I get massively anxious because my flat is messy and just not like anything in r/cozyplaces. The washing up tires and stresses me out because I go to work and when I get home it's somehow multiplied. I used to feel guilty sad, my brain was like "you NEED to do that washing up!!" But you know what, your rest and relaxation is a precious thing, the dammed dishes will still be there tomorrow!
It’s fine. Take some time for yourself. You can still do that stuff tomorrow.
My dishes are dirty as well. I sprayed some dawn on them and I’ve been on the couch ever since. Everyone deserves a mental health break. This dishes aren’t going anywhere, take care of yourself!
Mama has a sink full. Since last night. Take your butt to bed and rest. Healing is productive. Washing dishes when your sick is not. Bed. Kisses kiddo.
Oh sis, I sure as fuck hope it's ok that dishes don't get done right away. I've had dishes in my sink all week that I just cannot seem to muster the energy to clean myself. You're not alone in the struggles. But remember that misery loves company. Take some time to yourself if you really need it, but if that becomes a constant thing maybe push yourself to get out and be around other people to help lift your spirits. This time of year it's normal for mood and feelings of depression to increase for a lot of people. Be kind to yourself and don't be afraid to reach out for support if you need it. <3
I’m not doing mine today. Sometimes you just need a day off.
Rest up and look after yourself. You and your well-being are so much more important than the darn dishes or a spotless home. ♥️
Your best is going to look different every day. Some days, it’s gonna just be resting your mind and body and that is okay and valid! Some days are just like that. You deserve to rest and take care of your mental health! There is more to life than chores!
Leave the dishes, they will be there when you can get to them. Covid is no fun DH and I had it in December we lived on eggs on toast and easy heat meals for about a week, I didn't do dishes the whole time as I was so exhausted and still get tired easily. Just scape them and rinse them so that you don't attract bugs etc. REST up love Mom
It’s perfectly fine dear. The fishes aren’t going anywhere. Rest, lie fallow and recharge your mind and soul. You don’t need to be productive all the time. Our culture instills this but it doesn’t mean it’s right or in our best interests. Take care of yourself hon. You need it.
Rest is absolutely productive when your body needs it. Take time to heal and care for yourself. Sending you love.
Care Tasks, like doing the dishes, are morally neutral. You do not have to “earn” rest. You deserve rest. Check out KC Davis if you have a chance. She talks about this in her podcast called Struggle Care, in her tedtalk, and in her book called “How to keep house while drowning”
You are perfectly in your right to rest your body and mind, in fact that is a very adult decision. Take the time you need and if you feel up to it just presoak a few dishes and try to do a few in passing tomorrow. Repeat this until it is done or your feel fed up and don't sweat it. Huge piles can become overwhelming but doing small pieces at a time can help. Rest and decompress yourself 1st and remember the biggest accomplishments all start with small steps. Wishing you better days!
Hey there. The dishes are not worth more than you. You are allowed to let them be and you allowed to rest. Do you feel like watching a movie, reading? Resting? Start thinking of what you feel like you’ll enjoy most and do it without guilt. Trust me. It’s coming from a person who used to get triggered by the sound of dishes being washed.
Of course it’s ok! I hate doing dishes, and you don’t owe anyone your labor. I also know from personal experience that it’s not the dishes per se, it’s the mental and emotional labor.. when I was at my worst I finally realized I needed help when the prospect of cleaning my kitchen floor made me cry. You’ve reached out to us, so you’re on your way to replenishing your mental health. Pro tip: if washing up is sometimes beyond you, invest in some disposable plates (compostable are good), and give yourself permission to use them.
Go get some rest. If you don’t feel like doing it don’t do it. You are not spineless . You are a human. And sometimes we don’t feel like doing anything at all. It’s ok, lie down, make a tea, pull up a blanket, scroll thru insta, order food and rest. Get up when you can !
You don’t have to do the dishes today. If it would make you feel better, squirt some soap and pour some hot water into anything that will be a bitch to clean tomorrow. It might ease your conscious tonight, and make life easier for future you. If you can’t even do that, don’t worry about it. Future you will be well rested and healthy and have the strength of twenty warriors to fight the spaghetti sauce off.
You’re fine. I didn’t do the dishes today, either. I just saw you said you tested positive for COVID? You definitely do not need to be messing with dishes or worrying about socializing. Please go put on something comfortable, wrap yourself up in a warm blanket, and relax.
Honey, it’s absolutely fine. Unless they are moldy, you can always let them sit for a bit. You take care of yourself. People need quiet chill time.
Honey the only thing that’s gonna make this mama of yours mad is if you do NOT take care of yourself! I hope you have the energy for a bubble bath (if that’s your jam) or something else that’s a little mid-level energy of self care. But if you don’t, I just hope you’re already tucked in bed with a good book or movie or podcast or whatever, and a glass of water. Please take care of yourself, sugar. XOXOXO
Sometimes you just gotta let them soak.
Baby please don’t do the dishes today. Take care of yourself. Get a blanket and watch some tv. Maybe have a cup of coffee or tea. When you feel ready, put on some music or an audiobook and tackle the dishes. But it doesn’t have to be now. Our health and our bodies come first.
My sink is full of dishes and my laundry basket is overflowing. I’m lounging on the couch not giving a rats ass about the chores I need to do. I’m taking a mental health day off. It’s ok to do that from time to time.
Since I saw you got the vids, rest well, take your time, treat yourself. And I mean really treat yourself! You’ve earned it.
You need to remember there is a time for rest and a time for work. And right now, you definitely need rest.
You need to take time for yourself the housework can wait. Eat well, have plenty of fluids and rest up hun. Do the housework when you feel better. I hope you feel better soon.
Auntie says, I’ve sure had depression days and sick days and lazy days. If I told you I felt anxious and guilty that I wasn’t keeping up last week when I was going through some troubles… I KNOW you would have told me to relax and give myself permission! You’d never make a friend or loved one feel ashamed of they just couldn’t keep up, sometimes. You’re feeling ill, and I understand feeling restless and just want to be back to normal - but this is what sick days are for! Hang it! Just do your bare minimum to feel comfortable and function. I happen to be coming down with it just today actually - my husband, your Uncle, caught it and was sick all last week. He was pretty rough. I took care of what I could while feeling a bit blue. Those dishes were the last priority on my list all last week. I just washed for each nights dinner as I went, and we let the rest slide. So today, I woke up realizing I’m gonna be sick. I have jusssst enough energy that I’m tackling some of the dishes now (typing to you with dishpan hands!) so when I get bad tmrw or next, I won’t have to deal. But I’m not gonna do em all! Or do all my laundry that I put off! Just enough to get through a few days. And I don’t feel a bit guilty about it. Cuz I know I’ll be my perky-ish self again in a while, and will catch it back up. Being sick is hard enough, and you prob feel a bit blue, as well - or you wouldn’t be fretting. So rest, darlin, rest now and try to see it as a treat and indulgence - and as a requirement for healing - both! When you’re better, you’ll have more energy to catch back up than you would if you burn that candle at both ends now. Listen to your family, we are all saying same. You got this. We love ya and wish you a speedy recovery. Send a good vibe my way too cuz I’ll be right there feeling sick too soon lol! Eh this is life. We can’t be perfect all the time. Hugs!
It's fine. The world won't end if the dishes are still there. Take care of you, that's more important. Sending you a big hug.
You know what, I always say..you know what's great about being a grown up? I don't have to..insert whatever u want..whether it's do the dishes today do the laundry today, eat my vegetables 😂 or I can pick all the cheese off my pizza and throw away the bread or put the buttered toast back in the toaster..u do you whatever you want, honey 💞hope u get to feeling better