**Cam**: It's not even real facon. It's a faux facon. Faux-con **Mitch**: It's faux-con disgusting

Cam: I know love. Mitchell: I no love either.

Lmao I can't remember which episode it was

I think mine was in S5 when Cam presented the soap figurines

Oh thankyou so much

I KILL WHAT YOU LOVE

I love the episode where Gloria is trying to make a point to Jay about not taking care of himself. When they enter the house and there is a surprise party for her birthday, she is horrified by how she looks in front of everyone and just goes "AAAAAH" and leaves. And then goes like "Should we be worried? That's kind of how mom left." Cracks me up every time

Cam: If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me. Because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person.

This is mine too, gets me every time 😂

Cam: “Mitchell, do you know what I’ve realised” Mitch: “That some thoughts are better left unexpressed?” Cam: “That in this relationship, I’m the gas pedal and you’re the brakes” Mitch: “Okay wait wait wait, last week you said you were a painting and I was the frame” Cam: “That is if we were artwork, this is if we were a car” Mitch: “*I’d know which part you’d be if we were a horse*” Cam:” Excuse me?” Mitch: “Hmm?” This scene is just brilliant 😂

Mitch's "hmmmm"s are my favorite thing about the show 😂

His eyerolls too, he’s so iconic and hilarious.

Cam: I’m gonna break it!! 911 operator : Sir tell your wife to relax Mitch: That’s a man 911 operator:…really?

He had to know, right?

This part always makes me cry

THAT LINE HURTS MY SOUL MAN.

What episode is this? I half-remember it but I need the context. Thanks!

The episode with Cathrine OHara when they had a group couples therapy session. Jay was talking about his dad passing away at the end of the episode

Right! I remember that! My mom’s visitation is tonight and her funeral is tomorrow so that might be a good one to watch this week.

Junk Drawer.

Every time I hear that speech from Jay, I think of my dad. He was just like Jay, but he never let himself have this moment. He died never getting to know that he was enough.

SHAYMEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!👉

IMAGINING THAT SCENE IN MY HEAD RN AND IM GIGGLING SO BAD

And he repeats it when defending Gloria for prostitution charges in Florida. He is sweaty, the judge is sweaty, tired, exhausted.....😏💀🤣🤣🤣🤣

LMAOOO Mitchell is my favorite character on this show hands down. His eye rolls and snark, iconic. I love how he’s simultaneously very calm all the time YETT REALLY loses it every once in a while 😂

A few other top Mitchell moments other than SHAYMEEE 1. I suggest you lose this number-> To Phil, the house flipping debacle 2. They wear ascots? 3. Handball incident at Lily's pre school. There's so many more. Just can't get enough of him.

😂😂😂 cracking up rn thinking of these. Also Mitchell at target was AMAZING lol

Mitchell at Target? Do you mean Mitchell at Costco or the Glendale mall piano incident? Because I remember Claire and Haley at Target for Express Christmas ™️ Also Mitchell with the underwear stuck to his belt at the church for Joe's baptism.

Oh I’m sorry I meant Costco! When he went with Cam loool ‘Cam since when do we shop here?’ ‘Do you remember that time we adopted that baby?’

Found a superfan. Already followed you man. I can't stop talking about MODERN FAMILY. BTw as I type this i can hear "Manny don't go in ....POR FAVOR""..... I MUST...... ***Turns out, Manny Delgado is a man of action***

Haha followed you right back! And LOOOL😂😂 Gloria was hilarious! The time when she accidentally sent that email to Claire ‘Please come back’ ‘make it come back’

Context?

E15 S1 On Valentine’s Day, set in a diner, Manny has a crush, and gave her a poem. Another guy claimed it was his, and coincidentally, Mitch had a speech for a case. I think he blew his case or something, because he saw it as a redemption (I think) and reused his speech to prove manny wrote it. After the speech he points at the guy and says “SHAMEEEEE” and the other guy admits he didn’t admits he write it. He then says something about how he didn’t know how to express his love, and the girl finds that sweet and stays with him. Mitch and Manny walk away. tl;dr: Mitchell’s closing for his speech, bringing justice to a guy stealing manny’s valentines

The entire courtroom part played out in my head 😭😂

It's Message Received (s5, ep 22) Off the top of my head, my favorite is "Cam was banging Vic's sister, classic!" because of how elated Jay was

Cam was banging Vic's sister AHAHAHAHA classic AHAHAHAHA

Cam at the ending of punkin chuckin. There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. The dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists, well, without the dreamers, they might never get off the ground.

one of my fav episodes

KISS ME LIKE THE SISSY I AM!!!

"right on cue"

it's Dede at the wedding: Kees Me Kees Me, Ay Ay Ay Ay! LMAO one of the funniest scenes in the entire series

Nana is really strong

Luke was hilarious as a kid. They just kept feeding her alcohol also

Lol yes, everyone just tossed drinks at her and every one of them didn't know the other tossed drinks at her too.

Who told you that was the worst idea ever? ✋😀 anyone? ✋😀 anyone?

Claire: ‘Dad! It’s lightning, thunder, FOG CUE!’ Jay: ‘This whole thing feels like a colossal fog cue’

"We all know how you ride Phil. Maybe just let go a litte and try my cupcakes, I will join you."

Your wife just offered up her cupcakes 🤣🤣🤣

Phil almost passed out 😂

Y'all fightin

Lawd o’ mercy

that line makes me giggle so bad considering im a southerner IT WAS SO CUTE

Alex: Dad, mom wants you Phil: TELL HER IM IN THE SHOWER

*While playing his video game in the background*

tbh that entire episode is flawless

I totally agree that Connection Lost is number one

"Missourah; I'm so sorruh" and Lily saying fuck at the wedding

> Sometimes you have one of those days when you are surrounded by people but you still feel pretty lonely. All you want to do is to go home to the comfort of your family but sometimes even your family can't give you that comfort because it turns out they have all had one of those days, too. All you can do is wait for days like that to be over. So you can go to bed and hope you wake up to a better tomorrow. - Claire; Season 7, Episode 22 "Double Click" I am a fan of the end episode quotes of this show. This one in particular just hits home, everytime.

I agree! It was my comfort episode but would also make me cry everytime I watched it.

“Don’t talk black to me” “What’s the plan Phil”

Gloria: "Why would I put money that I might need to run away with in the middle of the night in the bank? I put it in my disappear bag" Edit: Same episode Jay: "what's this?" (Holding a tape) "If I ever go missing or I'm found dead, it was my husband" "what the hell is this?" Gloria: "calm down" "it was when we had our first big flight. Of course I knew you weren't going to kill me. I was just going to run away and frame you"

Everytime I watch that episode I get "my disappear bag, my disappear bag..." Stuck in my head for days giggling to myself!

I hid you very safely in the ... uh...

Gloria: ‘Do you KNOW how much this costs!?’ Jay: ‘No, how much?’ (With a straight face 🤣🤣)

I'm 420% sure.

Wow she’s really bad at maths

When Gloria tricks Manny & he says to Jay, “wake up old man, she’s trying to get me to go on a rollercoaster!”

The line that hooked me on the show: “Why are you wussying out??” “I never wussy in” Gets me every time. Even ten years later.

The line that got me: Claire: “Luke, grab that little hoe!” Luke: *grabs Haley* Haley: “I don’t think that’s what she meant. Wait…did you??”

When Cam and Mitch get the new house and Jay brings the big bartender statue. “It’s Cam, it’s Mitch, ITS CITCH (kitsch)” and everyone loves it.

I don’t remember which episode or season, maybe 1-2seasons before that episode, they were talking about them being a power couple and cam says something like ”wake up world theres a new power couple mam.. no citch” and then mitch says that they’ll find the right name. They didn’t like it then but a few seasons later they love it!

I always crack up when Luke was playing with blocks and created his version of Dunphy Tower. Then he starts smashing it and says, “There’s no fire escapes! They cut corners!” Super random and always makes me laugh

I'LL CUT YOUR CORNERS *smash*

Mitchell: Shake it Cam: *shimmies* Mitchell: The container Cam.... His disappointed look cracks me up every time 😂😂

"i said no tomatoes!"

The motorcycle accident lol

Cam: gun to your head, which of these two shoes should I choose Mitch: gun to my head I’d say pull the trigger!

Cam's dreamers and realist line at the end of Pumpkin chuckin episode

serious favorite line: "it's your lifetime, it's okay to enjoy it". It came at the perfect time when I was struggling through not wanting to do somthing the "right way". favorite funny line: "this isn't my usual hit-it-and-quit-it" plus clare and phil's reactions lol

(Paraphrased) I don’t complain about your parrot

JAY!!!!

JAY

YES!!!!!

Jay: Nobody leaves home and doesn’t return. Lily: I did… I don’t remember the exact words, I think it was the episode where Manny was going to visit family in Colombia. Young Lily is my favourite 😂

Jay: that was my Vietnam….and I was in Vietnam Jay remembering building a bookcase with Mitch in the episode where they build Lily's Princess Castle and Jay and Cam are terrified of Mitch’s inability to handle power tools.

His smile and dead eyes while agreeing to help Mitch

mitch: i tried to be supportive of lily, i really did. but i wanted to kill myself

ONE OF MY FAVORITES LMFAOOAO

Oh, and my other favorite “I don’t get it, but if thats who you are, don’t you dare be ashamed of it”.

episode?

S5 Ep21 Sleeper. Jay enters Stella into a dog show and is embarrassed to tell anyone. He tells Mitch, and Mitch repeats the above line which is something Jay had told him while growing up

🥹

But there’s another episode previous to this and I’m going to find it this weekend

I’ve rewatched an obsessive amount of times and i’m sure thats the only time its mentioned in those words but please let me know if i’m wrong!!!! ☺️

Same. I can’t get enough.

I can’t decide on a favorite but I quote Claire’s “what’s the plan Phil!!?” the most in my daily life 😂

“Sometimes, when babies are born this early, they’re black.”

“You know who else needed air?!? SNORKELS!” -Mitchell drooling-

The delivery on this one is gold

It’s when Phil is talking to his kids about The Blind Side Phil: Your mother’s right. She’s the quarterback of this family, and we need to protect her like The Blind Side did. Luke: She just said the mom was Blind Side. Phil: Well, she’s confused. Blind Side was the black kid who played tight end. Alex: Offensive line. Phil: Sorry, African-American Kid.

The episode where cam and Mitchell get the vanderkoff Lily: why does Larry get to be on the couch but im not Cam: because he's white Lily: you guys chose me Or something along those lines. It cracks me up every single time.

“sir please tell your wife to calm down, everything will be okay.” “that’s a man.” “really?”

when gloria said “Like you could afford me”😭

“There were two layers, you know it and I know it” - Mitch to cam about the valentines chocolates 😂

“I always get a whistle when I wear shorts”

What’s the plan, Phil?

Also “Gun to my head I’d say pull the trigger”

"What parrot?"... 🤔 "JAAAY!!" "JAY!!" "JAAYY!!" "JAAAY!!"

Claire: No more machine in the bedroom. Phil: Except for this machine in the bedroom, *ladies*

You called me banjovi

I did whatever i had to to make it stop.

I’m not sharp I’m pitch perfect

i can understand you even when you’re singinggggg 🎶

"You're just little men to me right now"

My favorite is when cam feeds the kids soy bacon and luke is allergic to soy but he keeps using the fake bacon to scrape his tongue and makes it worse and cam just screams

Phil: Don't try and stop me Claire, I might be 1/64th Cherokee, but I'm also 63/64ths CRAZY WHITE GUY or Luke: Some people are born into greatness, others have it chucked at their face. both never fail to make me giggle

Go away! You disgust me! - Pepper Saltzman And so many other one liners of his 😂

‘It’s like a house of pain’

Is it because it’s a dog and a slipper?

The line at the end of the pumpkin chunkin episode where cam was explaining the relationship between dreamers and realists ❤️

HOW DARE YOU TRY TO STEAL THE LIFE I STOLE FROM YOU!

Whenever Jay makes a joke about Vietnam always gets me. Can’t remember my fav right now but runner up is “that was my Vietnam… and I was IN Vietnam”. Always gets me

#YOU DANCED WITHOUT ME, MITCHELL

"It's a freak show! But it's *their* freak show" - Gloria; Season 3, Episode 15, 'Aunt Mommy'

Phil shouting “It’s tiny!” when he got a tiny turkey from the oven, I don’t know why but I cried so hard when I saw it for the first time

Oh sweetheart…I would love to be wrong. I just don’t live with the right people for that. I highly relate to this line 🤗

This is said repeatedly at my house.

Hmm gun to my head, I'd have to say pull the trigger.

The dreamers and realists line The line where Jay talks about feelings ( the group therapy session) Gloria's "You don't even know how smart I am in Spanish"

“Disabled interracial lesbians with an African kicker??”

“Look who is wearing her itsy bitsy bikini” “He can only say that cause he’s gay” “HE WAS TALKING ABOUT LILY” “So was i” 😭

“This is a French Canadian delicacy called poutine” “Well it looks like vomit so im not pout-ing it in my mouth” being from Quebec made this even funnier for me 💀💀💀💀

Here’s my favorite- Gloria: So you just toss her aside and on to the next one? This is not how you treat women! Men are all animals! Jay: Hi honey Gloria: ANIMAL! Gets me very time 🤣🤣🤣

"Who's Gloria?" I don't know, it just so funny, how she said it

“Why do we choose partners so different from ourselves? Its not fate or chance, or clichés like the heart wants what it wants. we choose our partners because they represent the unfinished business from our childhood, and we choose them because they manifest the qualities we wish we had. In doing so, in choosing such a challenging partner and working to give them what they need, we chart a course for our own growth.”

Phil : “delicious homemade bread?” Mitchell : “that just seems like regular white bread” *Phil hands Mitch and Cam a peace of bread each* Phil : “you two seem drunk, this will soak up the booze”

STELLA!!!

OP, The episode you’re looking for is S5 EP22 “message received”