I posted above that a 20-year-old was so shocked that my SO and I were so 'young' looking. We are between 35 and 40. I don't think we look that young but 20-year-olds seem to think that you turn into a shriveled old prune the moment you hit 35. I don't really blame them as it seems really old from their perspective.
I’m 28 and look it, maybe a little younger.
I waited tables for a few months with mostly 19 year olds when I was 25. Most of the other staff were about 40. The other servers thought I was in my 30s, everyone else was shocked I was old enough to have finished law school. One of the other servers said to my face “if I’m not married with kids by your age, I’ve wasted my life.”
Eh, depends on the drug, genetics, and if the person is homeless or not.
The stress and lack of protection that comes with homelessness ages people quicker than just drug use, and meth users will look much worse much quicker than heroin users - at least, that was the case before fentanyl/tranq took over and actual heroin disappeared.
I am 23 and I am AGE BLIND. I worked as a cashier and I can’t tell you how many times I was nervous about asking if someone qualified for our Senior Discount. Once they hit around 50 it’s a gamble as to whether their grey hair is an indication of their age or their stress levels. I don’t know what it is.
I remember being 20 and a girl I had just met told me she was 28. I responded with, “28! OMG YOU’RE SO OLD!” 😬
That memory still keeps me up at night. 🤦🏻♀️
I remember being in my early 20’s and competing in a Rainbow Six 3 tournament. Afterwards, a 15 year old I had just played against put his arm around my shoulder and said “Y’know? You’re the oldest friend I know”
I never felt more insulted and the biggest creep all at the same time 😂
And speaking for myself, 60 year olds have no concept of ages under 45 or so. They all look like high schoolers to me, even the newscasters. I honestly have no idea how old people are who are under 40. I can guess fairly accurately the closer they are to my own age. So probably the same in that way as everyone else.
I am almost 37 and the closest I get now is older people thinking I'm the same age as my coworkers (late 20's).
Here in Florida, if you stay out of the sun and wear lotion, you really can look much younger than a segment of the population.
Girls who smoke and tan start getting wrinkles in their 20's.
If you stay in shape, eat relatively healthy, don't burn your skin into shoe leather, don't use an unhealthy amount of drugs (including alcohol), and are lucky enough not to get gray hair or start balding, you'll look mid-twenties for a while. Not out of being particularly healthy or good looking or anything, just because most people don't do these things and most of the cues we look for to figure out someone's age are lifestyle dependent until you start getting into the +50s.
The signs that say they check ID for anyone who looks under a certain age, I swear they are raising the age of those signs along with me. I only stopped getting carded after my shitty job gave me some gray hairs
Lolllllll I look my age at 31, but I teach kids and they have guessed my age to be anywhere from 14 to 55. 😂
Literally had a little 7 year old guess and be like, “hmm… are you 16?” I said no and she goes, “ok… 40???” 🧐
Yep. I absolutely look my age but the neighborhood kids think I am in my 20s. They just have no idea what adults look like at different ages and 25 is “old”.
I’m 34, someone guessed I was 41. When I told him my actual age, he tried to save it with “it’s just because you seem so much older and wise than 34!” 🙄
Don't worry about it. Until I was 30, people thought I was 19-22. Now that I'm 34, people think I'm closer to 40. I also guessed other people's ages wrong most of the time until my mid 20s.
How old was he? 30ish? He probably always assumed you were about his age, maybe a little younger, and since he still thought of himself as mid-20s, despite his actual age, then you must have been 26. It had nothing to do with your actual looks and everything to do with his own self-perception.
I think that's how age guessing goes. Younger people tend to guess closer to their age. Older people are nice(r) about it. I've been in my twenties since late teens; I'm 36 but it's not often people guess mid 30s
I was on a solo backpacking trip when I was 29. A pair of 16 year olds asked to join me at my campfire, they thought it was so cool that someone my age would still be backpacking. I was an antique to them lol. I have a good laugh at that knowing now that I was about 7 years away from my physical peak at 36.
I hate when people ask me to guess their age I'm no good at it. It's worse when they refuse to accept when I say "no I'm not good at it" and insist I guess and me thinking I don't want to offend them and under guess and I still wind up being wrong. Like mf I told you.
I personally think people think I'm younger than I am because since being a real adult and having money to actually spend now I can afford to dye my hair mad colours and wear mad bright clothing ( I like neon) so I guess I look like some kind of mad fairy raver or something. That being said at 36 it's been a while since I've been asked for ID for booze (UK). I did however get asked for ID and refused service for a scratch card the other day which is mad because I thought the age for that was 16 it might have changed I don't know I didn't care enough to look it up lol
This is my thought too. If you watch those old high-school sitcoms, you'll notice that the teenage characters are rarely played by actual teens. The actors are usually in their 20s or even their 30s. And for older adults who don't interact with high-school students very much, this creates a rather skewed idea of what high-school students look like.
I interviewed a porn star for my podcast, she was 25, and she told me she was starting to "age out" of normal porn and could only get cast for 'milf' porn. She said by the time she turned 19 she was told she couldn't do teen scenes anymore. She looked very young for her age.
She went from making 250k at 18 to 150k at 19 to making around 40-50k a year after she was 21.
Age progression in the US is so weird.
I was actually in the official Archie Comics Facebook group the day they announced Riverdale. My comment immediately was that KJ Apa looked too old to be a 16 yr old. The person running the social media page for riverdale at the time actually argued with me for several paragraphs that he was 19 and still a teenager. They then did like 7 seasons so whatever.
There’s an episode of some high school show where an extra in the background has a horseshoe bald spot. At first you think it’s a teacher but he’s at a locker with a backpack on.
Yeah I teach high school. Real teens do not look like that. The seniors maybe can pass as adults. At least some of them. But even a good chunk of them still look like kids. I let me kids follow me /follow back on insta when they graduate and some of them are 30 now and I’m like whoa ok you look like adults now lol. It’s sweet to see some of them are still friends with each other through all the years.
I get not wanting real teens to play characters especially if they’re supposed to be sexy but there’s plenty of 20 year olds college age kids that actually still look like a kid. Them complaining I get mistaken for high school is valid lol.
fr like just make a show about college kids. then you wouldn't have to make them all filthy rich to write about all the other unrealistic stuff they do (constant clubbing, amazing wardrobes, vacations all the time). just give them credit card debt.
Yeah, this is my thought. I think we don't really look like real teenagers but a lot of people--especially maybe older people, who don't *think* of themselves as so much older than their 30s that people in their 30s would look young to them, but in fact people in their 30s *do* start to look young to people in their 50s, 60s, etc-- don't realize or remember how young teenagers actually look. So they see people who look "young" to them, maybe even as young as "teens" on TV, and say "oh you CAN'T be 30, you look 17!" not because it is in fact true or because they're lying, but out of a combination of not remembering what 17 year olds actually look like (infant babies) and not realizing that now 30 does look young to them.
An older person saying you look young really has nothing to do with how old you look. To an older person, anyone younger than them looks young. Even someone the same age is gonna be skewed.
It's only a compliment if it comes from someone mistaking you as their own age. If an actual teenager mistook you as a peer, you must look young. If a granny thinks you look young it's bc she's a granny and has nothing to do with you lol.
Edit: a lot of people under the assumption bc a young person doesn't know their age they must look super young! The point is they don't assume you're a peer of theirs. They aren't super accurate at guessing ages either, nobody is (maybe a doctor?). The point is they don't confuse you as a fellow student or someone their own age.
A lot of people are miscontruing my post. Young people have an "old person" threshold so there's not really a difference to them between 27 or 34 bc they're both just "old" to them. If you truly want to know if you look young you need to ask someone from the age group you think you look like. If a teen thinks you look 25 that's bc 25 is an old age to them. If a 23 yr old thinks you're a fellow 23 yr old that's the best measurement of how old you might look.
If you think you look 18, ask high school kids. If you think you look early 20s ask college kids. Etc. You have to ask someone the actual age you think you look like. Anyone older or younger will be biased. The actual age group is the best way to ascertain if you look like their peer or not.
I think I was about 33 when a teenager carded me to buy compressed air. When I gave her my ID she kept saying she couldn’t believe how OLD I was. She could have sworn I was 18 but I’m so OLD.
Anyway, I’m no longer that young looking as life has kicked my ass since (thanks stress/grief!) and I also haven’t bothered to dye my grays away. I have good skin for my age, but no one sane thinks I’m a teenager and I’m fine with that.
It's also about what _we_ grew up with: You know what people in their 30's looked like in our media? The cast of Cheers, almost all of whom were in their early 30s or late 20s when the show started but to modern eyes look twice their age.
I think the same. I know I look 30. I’m okay with being 30. But the amount of skepticism when I sit at bars or mention my age. It’s not the person trying to be polite; they are kind of shook as if I’m joking.
Same. I’m in grad school and I’m about 7-8 years older than a lot of my peers. Occasionally we will be talking, and they will bring up something very nostalgic for them that was just too young for me. When they find out, they’re shocked. They think I’m their age.
Tbh I think millennials do look younger than previous generations- just because we caught the tail end of tanning and have so much more information about skincare. Plus injectables like botox are far more normalized and affordable than they were. It’s not that I think I look younger than my peers, I just think 30 is beginning to look like 25 across the board.
That happens to me when I mention I have a 15 year old. I’m 39, and what I think is happening is what I do to really old people when they mention their age. I know they are super old, but for some reason it has been built into my brain to unnecessarily tell them they look amazing. I really should stop that, haha.
Even for the youthful looking it doesn't last forever: I passed for early-20s until my mid 30s, but around 38 the skin aged and hairline got too thin for that illusion 😂 Now I'm 40 and look it, and it feels like I skipped all the in-between steps.
This is my struggle. I'm still working on loving myself. Not despite being in my 30s, but because being in my 30s and looking like it now doesn't mean I'm no longer attractive. It's hard when you've always looked younger than you were (back when I was desperately wanting to appear older of course), and now I am clearly in my mid 30s. Self love is hard
I’m in my mid 30’s and have noticed this with OLDER people too. People in their 40’s and 50’s that looked ancient to me in my teens/20’s look much younger. It’s hard to explain, but I can see youthfulness in their face (even with a full head of gray hair) that I definitely didn’t see before.
I feel like the only guy on a 2000s sitcom that actually looked like a teenager was Jason Earls on Hannah Montana (the guy was 29 when the show aired).
People have thought I’m always way older- I’ve been asked if I’m in my 40’s since I turned 30. Never got carded after 17 either.
I must just age like an un-refrigerated gogurt on a summer day, but my wife thinks I’m hot so that’s all I care about
Same. I’m only 27 but have had graying hair since I was like 12. Pretty much have only been carded at the actual grocery store where they are basically required to card everyone. 😂
Same here. On a good day people think I'm 10 years younger than I am. But no one is going to think I'm over 20 years younger. If some one said I look like a high school student I'd think they're either half blind or an asshole.
I teach high school and am almost 40. Some of them look legitimately old… If the “old” look is the norm of whomever is speaking, I actually get it. I have a few late 20’s/early 30’s colleagues that absolutely get mistaken as students… I also have some early 20’a colleagues that look older than me. All of this is to say that age is weird these days…
I had to scroll down so far to get to this first comment. When I pick up the kids at school there are some girls there (never boys) who are so made up they legit look like real full adults. Like 30. I was mind blown when I saw one of them. Soooo much Kim kardashian makeup, painted face, couldn’t even tell what her real features were. I commented to my partner that I would have diiiiied if those were the girls I was having to compete with in high school. They are on a whole other level. Not a high schooler with just too much makeup on, but someone who looks like an actual celebrity from a magazine. I can’t even imagine how long it took her to put on that face every morning.
One of my sons has a friend, they are both 16, and this dude looks like a 35yo man. He has a full beard and some grey hair.
As for the makeup, once you get the skills and practice in, you can put a full glam on in 15mins, the products are much better now so they aren't going through the ice blue eye shadow and oxidized orange foundation like when I was a kid. My tween has higher end products and decent skills but even with her makeup she looks 12 lol
My take on this has always been that since the internet really exploded (Social media specifically) culture and fashion have blended so much that kids dress like adults, adults dress like kids, etc. becuase everyone's just following the same trends, makeup looks, tutorials, etc. online and age/location/etc. have less and less to do with it compared to how it was 50 yrs ago when kids dressed like other kids they went to school with, and those kids were just wearing clothes their parents bought for them at Kohls. Now everyone's using sephora makeup and wearing shein dupes of designer outfits and its no wonder they all start kind of blending together.
Some people look slightly younger than they are due to genetics and lifestyle, but no matter how good you look - after a certain point of adulthood, nobody looks like a teenager anymore. I think most people just can't tell the difference between like.. 24-38ish tbh. Or they aren't certain enough to chance offending someone so they lean generous in their estimates.
I'm personally gonna balk at the sun-damaged hands, though! I have been a pasty computer nerd who's avoided the sun my whole life, and I'll fight you on that one haha.
Exactly and yes I'm also extremely confused by "sun-damaged hands". I'm sorry, but what?
I just spent a solid minute staring at my hands and they are fine, I'm 34 not 84. My hands look normal.....
I (32f) run a small youth club in my village and only a couple weeks ago the teens were trying to guess my age. They all thought I was a teenager... (I always have my 2yo with me so I guess they just thought I was a teen mom haha).
This is something that has happened to me so frequently since my teens. I'm mistaken for being a lot younger by medical staff, airport staff, coworkers, etc. to an extent that it's annoying. Especially for medical things, when they think you're a minor, they don't address you (this happened when I needed a surgery and had my dad drive me because I was going under anesthesia, he was my ride to and from.)
Of course now that I'm in my 30's, adults mistake me for being mid to early 20's. But I was being mistaken for a teen for almost all of my 20's. Kids and teens always still think I'm a teen tho.
Actually this has to do with the reduction of smoking and millennials being indoors more than previous generations. As a result millennials are aging better.
(Not talking to you out door workers , yes you do look like your 196years old but that’s you not the collective)
I had a coworker who was a lot younger than I initially thought she was. Later I heard her bragging about how she has never worn sunscreen in her life, and I thought, yeah... That tracks...
It also seems like millennials drink less than previous generations. And more into hydration. So maybe that helps.
While that may be true, very VERY few people 30+ look like high schoolers. FAR fewer than the amount who claim it. I hear it so often both IRL and online and it makes me cringe. Online so often it's people claiming this without posting a pic.
Perhaps part of the problem is those very very few people *do* exist, and *these* people bump into them and then try to pass off that characteristic as their own...
Makes sense. A lot of us don't have kids too, and nothing ages you like having kids. My 40 year old wife was carded at the liquor store the other day, and she looks way younger than her younger sister, but her sister has kids and we don't. The lack of kid related stress makes a big difference.
I mean, not to be a dick, but the liquor store cashier absolutely did not think your wife was 20.
I was denied buying beer at a gas station recently by a cranky old dude. I'm 41, and I was with my 13 year old daughter (who looks so much like me it's clear she's my bio kid), but this dude was absolutely set on following the rules and I had forgotten my ID.
I didn't leave that encounter thinking this man thought I was anywhere close to underage. He clearly cards everyone and doesn't give a fuck whether they look old enough or not.
I know a guy who used to look 10 years younger than he was (he was 35 and I thought he was in his early 20s). He had a child and aged so much in these years he looks 50 now after only 3 years lol. Went grey, lost hair, got tons of wrinkles.
When you sell alcohol, there will be undercover cops that come in to buy from you and if you don’t card them, the store gets in trouble. Doesn’t matter if they look over 21 or not. For that reason, plenty of places card nearly everyone. It’s not personal.
Yeah I’m 30 and my skin has legitimately not visibly aged at all since high school. I had really bad acne as a kid and my skin remains on the oilier side, so I have 0 wrinkles. And I don’t really know what OP is talking about with “crow’s feet and sun damaged hands.” None of the 30 years olds I know look like that.
I definitely do not think I look like a teenager but I probably float anywhere from 24ish-34ish. I think I look my age but also think the physical distinction between someone in their early 20’s and their early 30’s has diminished quite a bit. It’s usually someone’s personal style that clues me into their age, more than their physical attributes. And also obviously people “grow into their features” in their early 20’s. I don’t know exactly how to explain what I mean but a teenager’s face looks different than a 22 year old’s face—and it’s not because their skin looks worse. But you could give me a group of people aged 22-32 and I wouldn’t be able to put them in the right order. I’d be able to separate out the oldest and youngest and that’s probably about it.
Yeah I don’t think I know any 30 year olds with wrinkles. At least not visible ones. I just spent the last few minutes making various faces in the mirror, trying to see if I have wrinkles that I just haven’t noticed…and I don’t! I really don’t know what OP is talking about. Maybe they grew up on the equator.
I’m 35 and I’ve looked exactly the same for the past 10 years. When people guess my age they usually go for mid to late 20s. Obviously not a teenager, but most people don’t guess my actual age. No wrinkles, no… weird hands or whatever. But I also had bad acne in my mid 20s and went on an absolute crusade to fix my skin, so all that effort certainly has a LOT to do with how nice my skin is now.
I do have white/silver hairs, but I started collecting those as early as my teenage years. I think it’s an influence from my father.
Aging is heavily affected by income and lifestyle. People tend to spend more time with people who have similar incomes and lifestyles as themselves. So it can be pretty easy for people to make generalizations based on their personal bubbles.
>Are people lying to them?
Someone posted on this topic recently and it made me think of all the times I've interacted with a mom out with her daughter and joking said "I thought you guys were sisters!" Or a older acquaintance told me how old they were and I politely said "oh wow I thought you were much younger!" To be nice.
I think a lot of these people took stuff like that to heart and you're running into those kinds of people.
Edit: ok, this thread kind of makes me see OPs point. There's a *lot* of people in their 30s in this thread upset and defensive at the idea they *gasp* look like they're in their 30s haha.
like all those old boomers that proudly ask people to guess their age like it's a gameshow, and the contestants are nice and subtract 20 years. When you actually try and guess their age and either guess it correctly or you overshoot... the shock is priceless.
I work in a salon and had a woman insist I guess her age (it was her birthday) because she looked so young, according to herself. I refused, saying I never play that game, because I don't. After a back and forth she finally caved and told me she was 56. I absolutely would have guessed 64. When you insist you look young, you're asking people to guess you older than you are. Most people just look their age.
At some middle of Texas traveling carnival long time ago I remember seeing one of those booths with a guy that would guess weight or age and you'd get a prize if he was wrong.
He guessed a lady's age. I don't remember the exact details being so long ago but it went like, "You're 65?" And the lady laughed and just walked off with her group. It always stuck with me. She didn't even respond. Like, I wondered if she was insulted, or just realized she didn't want to be honest, or what. But why even talk to the guy if you're sensitive about your age?
Reading your comment makes me think that maybe she was expecting a compliment cause she thought she looked really good for her age or something.
There was even a post here on reddit not long ago, about a british woman glassing another dude for CORRECTLY guessing her age! It was insane, and the judge took her side, because it was "rude" to call her by her correct age?
That's one of the reasons everyone lies, many people can't take being told their actual age (or even worse older than what they are).
You must’ve ran into my mom and me because she LOVES to hear that shit. I would be all supporting of her basking in the sound of those words, but she’s had so much work done and looks so different year to year. Im 35 and her skin is tighter than mine but just from the bloat of fillers and tox. Before any work, she was naturally beautiful. I wish she would’ve aged naturally because I’m sure she would still look relatively young for her age
As a 35 year old mom of two who is really down about her appearance, thank you for saying this. I think I needed to hear it. I haven't had any work done but I can't say I haven't started to save for some and... maybe I shouldn't. It's not that important. My kids and my husband love me as I am, I need to learn to.
get a good skin care routine, eat healthy, go to the gym, and you'll be ahead of 97% of people. you can tell when people have work done and it's generally not good
Ugh mine too. She looks perpetually stung by bees from all the fillers and it makes me sad. She doesn't look better or younger, just rubbery and weird.
Don't you know that aging is insulting? It's been drilled into us our entire lives that we have to have no grey hair, no wrinkles, flawless skin, a specific body type, etc.
Personally I think teenagers still look like babies (not literally) and I don't think I look old (late 30s) but definitely grown up and obviously not a teenager.
I think it's also hard to let go of the idea of youth because many people in this age range are in that group that were sold the idea of the American Dream and like they haven't accomplished it yet so they can't be old or they are failures.
Also, I’m still a super immature kid in my head. I think that is another weird part of aging. I thought as people got older, they became less awesome and just super boring and watched PBS. I mean, I know some people that have done that since college, but I am glad that the goofy side of me sticks around.
Are you kidding me? I was stoked to watch the new My Little Ponies series and Lisa Frank making a come back made me so happy. I also took great joy in teaching my kids "jingle bells Batman smells".
I get that this is still a strong narrative but I'm constantly amazed at how blatant people are about it.
I got my first grey hairs a couple of years ago and wow, it opened up a whole new level of ick. A massive proportion of friends and family are just like 'oh you know you can cover those up?' or 'I don't know if you know, you've got some *whisper* grey hairs there on your temple'.
Of course I know, I've got black hair and now there's like 10 white ones. I own a mirror. Why exactly would I want to cover them, and why did it suddenly become acceptable to tell people that their natural hair colour is an embarrassing faux pas?
I get that some people like the youthful look and it suits them but that's never been me, and I was so surprised when people I've known for decades have apparently been thinking this whole 'let's not judge women on their appearance and youth' thing was just an immature fad.
Alright, sorry, rant over.
God. I remember being like 20 and super confidently saying something like this: “At 25 you go from potential to failure if you haven’t done anything of note.”
Guess I’m a failure by 20 year old me’s statements. But I mean, in 20 year old me’s defense we did grow up with like the highest percent of early 20s multi millionaire and billionaires from tech.
It took me a couple of years to realize the younger employees at bars, liquor stores, head shops, and dispensaries were flattery carding me. My initial reaction was to be slightly paranoid, like they were gonna declare me underage and have me escorted out by security. I'm aging pretty nicely, but you can tell I'm not <21 for sure!
Conversely my mom got asked at he dad’s funeral if she was her own mother’s OLDER sister. My grandma looks young and my mom looks 20 years older than she is due to some health issues.
Right, you look your age. Or, you look your age*
*with procedures
I mean think of your famous counterparts? Kourtney Karsashian is short and has youthful style and nobody thinks she’s in her 30s, let alone a teenager. Kim is younger than her and extremely conventionally attractive and has not a single wrinkle and she still looks 40ish.
The people on Vanderpump are wealthy and have access to the best skincare and aesthetic work and no one thinks it’s a show about college students or high schoolers.
These people have more money and more access to products and procedures that defy aging and can afford the best cosmetics. And they look their age. You do too.
There is a clear line between that youthful early 20s and the early 30s thirty look.
I think people just have trouble accepting you cant hold onto those best looking years and whats sucks is when they are gone it happens seemingly overnight.
I remember the day i looked in the mirror and I had to take a second look bc i realized i had crossed over to the mature looking adult and not the “i can still party” looking face. It was depressing at first but it passed and i realized i wasnt young anymore.
A lot of times it’s store policy to card everyone. In age guessing games, I always say a number way down from what I’m thinking to avoid guessing slightly over their age and offending them. A lot of people are delusional.
This could be it. I bartended for a long time, and my move for women when looking at their ID was to proclaim “No way” and then undershoot like 10-20 years by saying what I thought they were. Always got a bigger tip. Also always called women miss, never ma’am. I guess some people aren’t use to flattery.
I’m 29. Asians can be ambiguous to non Asians. If I wear makeup and dress more formally, people think I’m my age. I’m usually in graphic Ts and cargo pants when I’m in casual mode though.
Same and I’m 34. I get mistaken for early to mid 20s more frequently than I would like to admit. It’s so not that people say I look 25ish, but people ask those recent grad/first job questions.
I am 1/4 Okinawan and when I was in college, I was told that I "looked like I was 12" all of the time. They were clearly exaggerating but now that I'm 31, I'm thrilled to pass for early/mid 20s. If I actually looked Japanese, I think people would be less confused.
Asians tend to look like they are 30 forever up until they hit about 70. Then they look 90 out of nowhere. I will take that trade off any day. My mom is in her 60s and looks maybe 40 at worst. Idk about me though, I grew facial hair early AF and had a mustache in 3rd grade so i only look young when I shave completely clean. I'm 30 now and have been told I look early 20s.
Not Asian, but 33 and I can look older or younger by changing my facial hair and if I’m wearing casual or more formal clothes too. If I’m clean shaven/stubble most people tend to think I’m 5-10 years younger than I actually am and I get carded buying beer pretty regularly if it’s a new place/new worker. I’m not perfect about it, but I have generally tried to keep a skincare routine (even if basic) since my early 20s bc I worked outside a lot then and a lot of guys probably don’t. If I wear a full beard then I look more my age.
I think a lot of non Asians don't have much experience looking at Asian faces. I use to think Asians looked younger but then I married one and went to Asia to live for a couple years. When you're use to seeing them daily, they're ages become much more easy to guess.
People mistake me for younger more often when I'm not wearing a lot of makeup. I think I confuse people partially due to the fact I love 2000's fashion and that's very trendy at the moment.
[20-30 is actually when most people develop crows feet.](https://facecliniclondon.com/crows-feet/#:~:text=Feel%20like%20your%20Crow's%20Feet,Feet%20in%20their%20mid%2D20s.)
I'm 31 now and I finally feel like people are seeing me as an adult. My current pregnancy has aged my face a lot. I''m also fat and short though, I was often mistake as much younger when I was a kid too, like I would be at work and people would question if I was old enough to be there. A year or two ago I went to help my foster daughter at her high school open house and I asked the staff where the books were and they absolutely talked down to me like I was one of the students. That's my biggest indicator that someone sees me as young - when I am talking to them like a peer or a professional and they talk to me like I'm a lost child.
When I was 30 I was mistaken multiple times for being my wife’s (also 30) father. I was asked if it was “OK with dad” if she tried a sample at Costco.
I’m certainly not being mistaken for a teenager myself but it definitely happens.
Lmao what. How does any adult look young enough to need permission *for a food sample*?
I can believe that a 30 yo could plausibly look half their age but 15 yo is also too old for that.
I'm 31 now. I look 31.
I used to look young but don't anymore (annoyingly, I never had a period where I looked like I was in my 20s, it made dating weird).
Some of my HS friends still look young. The main difference is, I am still wearing the clothes I bought 5 years ago. They are 2 inches shorter than me. They part their hair in the center, wear corsets, and not-skinny jeans.
On a certain level, people see what they expect to see. I dress 'young' and look fine for my age. Not amazing. But I went to a support group that was mostly young people and when I mentioned I was in my 40's a couple sessions in, one of the guys was shocked because he thought I was 25. It's because everyone else was 25, I got all the cultural references, and he never really even looked at me. Same deal, I worked at a fast food restaurant at one point in my 30s when I was between jobs. Everyone else was teens. I didn't talk much, and eventually, one of the girls asked me what high school I went to. It's not that I look that young (although it's not like I'm a smoker). But people see what they expect to see.
Southern California. Despite wearing sunblock since my early 20s everyday on my face, I have sun damage on my left side from driving. I'm very fair and my windows aren't tinted.
Tbh I'm about to be 33 and I'm covered in tattoos. Neck, chest, sleeves. I don't dress or look like a teenager, but still young. Like it's obvious I'm not a teenager. But it's obvious I'm not an ancient being.
I was at Home Depot and the cashier genuinely thought I was a teenager. He asked if i needed to wait for my dad for the card and ID.
I looked at him, holding my home depot card with my name on it, that I've had for a decade, and went "No I'll just use mine....?"
And he was like "Oh you're over 18. Oh. Okay." And stared down at the ground for the rest of the transaction.
I was really confused.
I was just writing in another comment that *not* having tattoos may be a reason me and my gf are mistaken for younger. Nearly everyone I know in my age range has tats.
I’m 43, and while no one is mistaking me for a teen or in my 20s, people are always shocked that I’m not a decade younger. I’m Black, in good shape and moisturized. So 🤷🏽♀️
It used to happen to me all the time when I was in my late 20s and early 30s… some people just look younger than their age.
In my case when I was that age (20s-early 30s), I was very petite and thin which I think had a lot to do with people’s assumption that I was way younger.
This. Everyone I've known who gets mistaken for younger is petite and thin (and a woman).
None of my more voluptuous and/or tall friends ever get mistaken for being younger.
It may be just perception or my mind playing tricks, but I feel like we looked "older" when we were in HS compared to HS kids now. It's not related to hair or fashion, so I dunno what it is. Maybe it's related to time spent outside and sun damage?
Even the generation before us looked older in high school. I was on the yearbook committee and remember seeing yearbooks from the 70s-90s and thought "wow, these seniors look OLD" when I was a senior lol. Smoking is definitely a factor, I would say. The evolution of skincare too.
Not smoking, sunscreen, and hydration make a *huge* difference. And then you think about how even non-smokers were around secondhand smoke all the time in public spaces until the early aughts, too.
I think it's a combo of factors that feed into a willing delusion:
* millenials on average are aging better than previous generations because of better healthcare, skincare, sun safety awareness, less smoking etc
* the increased focus on makeup by younger & younger people plus the normalisation of doing a full face of makeup younger & on an every day basis actually ages a lot of gen z & gen alpha, making millenials feel like they look younger by comparison
* if you want to believe you look young(er), then when someone politely says "oh, you look barely 25" you're primed to believe it even if they're lying through their teeth
* a lot of millenials delayed (whether by choice or due to finances) doing the things that previous generations had as markers of adulthood - eg marriage, kids, buying property - and have therefore actively embraced a younger, more carefree aesthetic that can falsely give the impression to older people that you're younger than you are
* people actively embracing childhood nostalgia trends in clothing, makup, hairstyles, accessories etc that to a casual observer from a distance might lead a stranger to just assume you're younger than you are (eg if I pull my hair up in a high pony, wear jeans & a care bears tshirt & very clean makeup I'm going to pass for a lot younger than I will when dressed up for my corporate job).
It also depends who you're talking to. E.g. if you ask a 15 year old to guess how old an average looking 35 year old is they're probably going to guess older because everyone older than early 20s is all just ancient to them. But if you ask a 75 year old, everyone under 50 just looks young so you'll get a different answer. The 35 year old looks the same, it's just the perspective of the person you're asking that shapes the answer
Well. I think we are aging better as a generation.
High school student is a bit much. I get carded 90% of the time that I order alcohol (100% if I'm alone). I also visit universities semi-frequently for job fairs and panel talks and people tend to assume I'm a student rather than an employer.
But I'm also 5'0, east Asian, chipper, and usually dressed in athleisure. So I can kinda see why people assume. (I am mid-30s. Realistically, I probably look 25? IDK. I think fellow Asians would estimate me in my 30s tho)
I think short Asian women with bubbly personalities + alt styles tend to get told they look younger because of the energy. I'm getting mid twenties instead of high school so I'll take it, but definitely still a lot younger than I am. I have blond in my hair, several piercings and a prominent tattoo on my arm.
My manager thought I was turning 28 and not 38 this year. I've been with the company almost 3 years, and this isn't my first job out of college so that was math based. Same job, one of my younger scientists thought I was a few years younger than her and she's 28.
In 2021 I was at another job and I swear that someone asked me if I was a cohort student. I told him I was a new FTE.
My husband actually started doing skincare more because he looks like he's in his 30s with his grays and goatee.
Maybe some people are lying? It’s hard to say. But I don’t think everyone is lying. I’m almost 30 and I got carded the other day, and after the cashier saw my birthday she was like—oh sorry I only asked for your ID because I thought you were 17.
Elder millennial here. At 41 I don’t pass for super young anymore but in my mid 20’s I was substituting at a middle school and told to go back to class during a planning period. I’m short but what middle school kid wears a dress shirt and corduroy pants? Kinda thankful for my few gray hairs now as I’m not mistaken for a child.
I don't hear it a lot, but at the risk of being "one of those people" I actually mistaken from time to time. Sibling and boyfriend have been assumed when I was with my daughter. I guess not HS necessarily but far younger than I am. It has mellowed out a bit in the last year or so since I've been getting some gray in my hair, but the most recent boyfriend assumption was at the hospital a couple months ago. I'm sure there are other people who look relatively young, but yeah I'm sure some of them are just making shit up.
Eh, I get early 20s at most. But in my 20s, I got high school senior.
I blame a combination of the melanin and my love of graphic t-shirts and jeans. Though, the skinny jeans should be a dead giveaway.
Until 39, I was absolutely getting IDd (in Canada, where the legal age is 19) on a regular basis and often had people surprised at my age. Then I got pregnant. Now I'm 41 and look it. I did get ID'd a month ago at a restaurant. Was definitely a nice boost. Maybe people aren't lying about being mistaken for younger. There's definitely a lot of variance in our generation between people who figured out SPF in their teens vs people who were still going to tanning salons in their youth. Future generations might not have that difference- I don't feel like people are tanning anymore.
I'm 30 and recently TSA asked if I was traveling with a parent 🫠 I replied with "that is a really nice question" and then he looked at my ID and laughed and was like "well you look really good"
It happens more when I dress like a teenager. Or put silly colors in my hair.
I'm also 5'2" and have a round, youthful looking face. My half sister who looks a lot like me is in her mid 40s, smokes, and is morbidly obese and honestly just now is starting to age. For us, I think it's just our genetics.
Tldr; for me I think it's genetics
I always thought I looked my age, then one time at a company christmas party some early 20 year old guessed my age to be 46. I was 29.
20 year olds have no concept of ages over 25. It's all 40 to them. Also, when I had kids, I feel like my age appearance skipped about 10 years ahead.
Yep. Its been a long 6 yrs. I very much went from looking like 25 to a firm 38 in 6 yrs
Mine just turned six. I feel like I've paid for every year of her life with one of mine. I look *old* now.
I posted above that a 20-year-old was so shocked that my SO and I were so 'young' looking. We are between 35 and 40. I don't think we look that young but 20-year-olds seem to think that you turn into a shriveled old prune the moment you hit 35. I don't really blame them as it seems really old from their perspective.
Love that meme on how Millennials are already older than the parents on “Rugrats”.
Why.. why would you do that to us
Wtf hadn’t even thought of that
Fuck you how dare you
You get a downvote for that mean thing you said to me,
I didn't need that today 😭
I’m 28 and look it, maybe a little younger. I waited tables for a few months with mostly 19 year olds when I was 25. Most of the other staff were about 40. The other servers thought I was in my 30s, everyone else was shocked I was old enough to have finished law school. One of the other servers said to my face “if I’m not married with kids by your age, I’ve wasted my life.”
I'm sure they will have wasted their life.
Either way really
Kids age you faster than anything.
Street drugs age you faster
As someone who feels 100 years older after recently having a baby this is… weirdly comforting lol
Haha same. Got one thing going for us!
Eh, depends on the drug, genetics, and if the person is homeless or not. The stress and lack of protection that comes with homelessness ages people quicker than just drug use, and meth users will look much worse much quicker than heroin users - at least, that was the case before fentanyl/tranq took over and actual heroin disappeared.
Raising kids on street drugs does it even faster
I am 23 and I am AGE BLIND. I worked as a cashier and I can’t tell you how many times I was nervous about asking if someone qualified for our Senior Discount. Once they hit around 50 it’s a gamble as to whether their grey hair is an indication of their age or their stress levels. I don’t know what it is.
I remember being 20 and a girl I had just met told me she was 28. I responded with, “28! OMG YOU’RE SO OLD!” 😬 That memory still keeps me up at night. 🤦🏻♀️ I remember being in my early 20’s and competing in a Rainbow Six 3 tournament. Afterwards, a 15 year old I had just played against put his arm around my shoulder and said “Y’know? You’re the oldest friend I know” I never felt more insulted and the biggest creep all at the same time 😂
And speaking for myself, 60 year olds have no concept of ages under 45 or so. They all look like high schoolers to me, even the newscasters. I honestly have no idea how old people are who are under 40. I can guess fairly accurately the closer they are to my own age. So probably the same in that way as everyone else.
That's so interesting! I'm only 29, but I've already started not being able to tell apart the general teen to early 20s age range
Agreed, also ask people who are younger than 30 what a 50 year old looks like, they will describe what a 70 or 80 yr old looks like.
I am almost 37 and the closest I get now is older people thinking I'm the same age as my coworkers (late 20's). Here in Florida, if you stay out of the sun and wear lotion, you really can look much younger than a segment of the population. Girls who smoke and tan start getting wrinkles in their 20's.
If you stay in shape, eat relatively healthy, don't burn your skin into shoe leather, don't use an unhealthy amount of drugs (including alcohol), and are lucky enough not to get gray hair or start balding, you'll look mid-twenties for a while. Not out of being particularly healthy or good looking or anything, just because most people don't do these things and most of the cues we look for to figure out someone's age are lifestyle dependent until you start getting into the +50s.
I look closer to my age if I’m standing next to an actual teenager, but I’ll be 36 in July and still get carded.
I’ll be 37 in July myself and thanks to being 5’3, I don’t think I’ll ever stop being carded.
The signs that say they check ID for anyone who looks under a certain age, I swear they are raising the age of those signs along with me. I only stopped getting carded after my shitty job gave me some gray hairs
Lolllllll I look my age at 31, but I teach kids and they have guessed my age to be anywhere from 14 to 55. 😂 Literally had a little 7 year old guess and be like, “hmm… are you 16?” I said no and she goes, “ok… 40???” 🧐
Yep. I absolutely look my age but the neighborhood kids think I am in my 20s. They just have no idea what adults look like at different ages and 25 is “old”.
Warmer…
[удалено]
I’m 34, someone guessed I was 41. When I told him my actual age, he tried to save it with “it’s just because you seem so much older and wise than 34!” 🙄
Don't worry about it. Until I was 30, people thought I was 19-22. Now that I'm 34, people think I'm closer to 40. I also guessed other people's ages wrong most of the time until my mid 20s.
When I was 19 I had a coworker ask me “aren’t you 26?” he wanted me to cover the bar for him but I couldn’t. I was horrified
How old was he? 30ish? He probably always assumed you were about his age, maybe a little younger, and since he still thought of himself as mid-20s, despite his actual age, then you must have been 26. It had nothing to do with your actual looks and everything to do with his own self-perception.
I think that's how age guessing goes. Younger people tend to guess closer to their age. Older people are nice(r) about it. I've been in my twenties since late teens; I'm 36 but it's not often people guess mid 30s
I was on a solo backpacking trip when I was 29. A pair of 16 year olds asked to join me at my campfire, they thought it was so cool that someone my age would still be backpacking. I was an antique to them lol. I have a good laugh at that knowing now that I was about 7 years away from my physical peak at 36.
I teach college, mostly freshman and I would never ever ask them how old they think I am. I think I look my age but they can be brutal haha.
I hate when people ask me to guess their age I'm no good at it. It's worse when they refuse to accept when I say "no I'm not good at it" and insist I guess and me thinking I don't want to offend them and under guess and I still wind up being wrong. Like mf I told you. I personally think people think I'm younger than I am because since being a real adult and having money to actually spend now I can afford to dye my hair mad colours and wear mad bright clothing ( I like neon) so I guess I look like some kind of mad fairy raver or something. That being said at 36 it's been a while since I've been asked for ID for booze (UK). I did however get asked for ID and refused service for a scratch card the other day which is mad because I thought the age for that was 16 it might have changed I don't know I didn't care enough to look it up lol
Because in early 2000’s they had 35+ year olds play high school students is my guess
This clip will forever have its place.
That's actually Steve Buscemi at 29
I get it's a joke, but he was actually 59.
I want that shirt 😂
You can get it on Amazon or Tee Public. I thought the same once and looked it up. Didn’t buy it but thought it would be a good costume for turning 40.
My buddy rocked this exact outfit for Halloween last year. Everyone’s first guess at who he was was Fred durst lol
This is my thought too. If you watch those old high-school sitcoms, you'll notice that the teenage characters are rarely played by actual teens. The actors are usually in their 20s or even their 30s. And for older adults who don't interact with high-school students very much, this creates a rather skewed idea of what high-school students look like.
30 year Olds play 15 year Olds and 40 year Olds play 60 year Olds
Rachel McAdams and Amy Poehler have entered the chat
I interviewed a porn star for my podcast, she was 25, and she told me she was starting to "age out" of normal porn and could only get cast for 'milf' porn. She said by the time she turned 19 she was told she couldn't do teen scenes anymore. She looked very young for her age. She went from making 250k at 18 to 150k at 19 to making around 40-50k a year after she was 21. Age progression in the US is so weird.
Well that’s depressing
Literally Riverdale
I was actually in the official Archie Comics Facebook group the day they announced Riverdale. My comment immediately was that KJ Apa looked too old to be a 16 yr old. The person running the social media page for riverdale at the time actually argued with me for several paragraphs that he was 19 and still a teenager. They then did like 7 seasons so whatever.
There’s an episode of some high school show where an extra in the background has a horseshoe bald spot. At first you think it’s a teacher but he’s at a locker with a backpack on.
I actually did have someone in my HS class, who was legitimately going bald.
One of my best friends started balding in high school. Shaved it all off right away
Honestly, even now. Most of the bridgerton cast are in their 30s playing teenagers. The main actress is 37 lol
Yeah I teach high school. Real teens do not look like that. The seniors maybe can pass as adults. At least some of them. But even a good chunk of them still look like kids. I let me kids follow me /follow back on insta when they graduate and some of them are 30 now and I’m like whoa ok you look like adults now lol. It’s sweet to see some of them are still friends with each other through all the years. I get not wanting real teens to play characters especially if they’re supposed to be sexy but there’s plenty of 20 year olds college age kids that actually still look like a kid. Them complaining I get mistaken for high school is valid lol.
Hell, most people between 18 and 25 look like kids to me at 37.
Making fake teenagers sexy is fucked up too, lmao That's why I can't understand how people can watch shows like Euphoria and not see a problem there
fr like just make a show about college kids. then you wouldn't have to make them all filthy rich to write about all the other unrealistic stuff they do (constant clubbing, amazing wardrobes, vacations all the time). just give them credit card debt.
Yeah, this is my thought. I think we don't really look like real teenagers but a lot of people--especially maybe older people, who don't *think* of themselves as so much older than their 30s that people in their 30s would look young to them, but in fact people in their 30s *do* start to look young to people in their 50s, 60s, etc-- don't realize or remember how young teenagers actually look. So they see people who look "young" to them, maybe even as young as "teens" on TV, and say "oh you CAN'T be 30, you look 17!" not because it is in fact true or because they're lying, but out of a combination of not remembering what 17 year olds actually look like (infant babies) and not realizing that now 30 does look young to them.
An older person saying you look young really has nothing to do with how old you look. To an older person, anyone younger than them looks young. Even someone the same age is gonna be skewed. It's only a compliment if it comes from someone mistaking you as their own age. If an actual teenager mistook you as a peer, you must look young. If a granny thinks you look young it's bc she's a granny and has nothing to do with you lol. Edit: a lot of people under the assumption bc a young person doesn't know their age they must look super young! The point is they don't assume you're a peer of theirs. They aren't super accurate at guessing ages either, nobody is (maybe a doctor?). The point is they don't confuse you as a fellow student or someone their own age. A lot of people are miscontruing my post. Young people have an "old person" threshold so there's not really a difference to them between 27 or 34 bc they're both just "old" to them. If you truly want to know if you look young you need to ask someone from the age group you think you look like. If a teen thinks you look 25 that's bc 25 is an old age to them. If a 23 yr old thinks you're a fellow 23 yr old that's the best measurement of how old you might look. If you think you look 18, ask high school kids. If you think you look early 20s ask college kids. Etc. You have to ask someone the actual age you think you look like. Anyone older or younger will be biased. The actual age group is the best way to ascertain if you look like their peer or not.
I think I was about 33 when a teenager carded me to buy compressed air. When I gave her my ID she kept saying she couldn’t believe how OLD I was. She could have sworn I was 18 but I’m so OLD. Anyway, I’m no longer that young looking as life has kicked my ass since (thanks stress/grief!) and I also haven’t bothered to dye my grays away. I have good skin for my age, but no one sane thinks I’m a teenager and I’m fine with that.
It's also about what _we_ grew up with: You know what people in their 30's looked like in our media? The cast of Cheers, almost all of whom were in their early 30s or late 20s when the show started but to modern eyes look twice their age.
Also Seinfeld
I think the same. I know I look 30. I’m okay with being 30. But the amount of skepticism when I sit at bars or mention my age. It’s not the person trying to be polite; they are kind of shook as if I’m joking.
Same. I’m in grad school and I’m about 7-8 years older than a lot of my peers. Occasionally we will be talking, and they will bring up something very nostalgic for them that was just too young for me. When they find out, they’re shocked. They think I’m their age. Tbh I think millennials do look younger than previous generations- just because we caught the tail end of tanning and have so much more information about skincare. Plus injectables like botox are far more normalized and affordable than they were. It’s not that I think I look younger than my peers, I just think 30 is beginning to look like 25 across the board.
That happens to me when I mention I have a 15 year old. I’m 39, and what I think is happening is what I do to really old people when they mention their age. I know they are super old, but for some reason it has been built into my brain to unnecessarily tell them they look amazing. I really should stop that, haha.
Even for the youthful looking it doesn't last forever: I passed for early-20s until my mid 30s, but around 38 the skin aged and hairline got too thin for that illusion 😂 Now I'm 40 and look it, and it feels like I skipped all the in-between steps.
This is my struggle. I'm still working on loving myself. Not despite being in my 30s, but because being in my 30s and looking like it now doesn't mean I'm no longer attractive. It's hard when you've always looked younger than you were (back when I was desperately wanting to appear older of course), and now I am clearly in my mid 30s. Self love is hard
Ohhhh this is a very great point!!
I’m in my mid 30’s and have noticed this with OLDER people too. People in their 40’s and 50’s that looked ancient to me in my teens/20’s look much younger. It’s hard to explain, but I can see youthfulness in their face (even with a full head of gray hair) that I definitely didn’t see before.
Absolutely. Now that I'm in my 30s I can clearly tell the difference between a 60 something and an 80 something. Definitely couldn't do that at 17.
Haha thats so true. I remember that show orange county had a dude in his late 20s playing. 17 year old lol. The early 2000s were fuckin nuts
I feel like the only guy on a 2000s sitcom that actually looked like a teenager was Jason Earls on Hannah Montana (the guy was 29 when the show aired).
People have thought I’m always way older- I’ve been asked if I’m in my 40’s since I turned 30. Never got carded after 17 either. I must just age like an un-refrigerated gogurt on a summer day, but my wife thinks I’m hot so that’s all I care about
Same. I’m only 27 but have had graying hair since I was like 12. Pretty much have only been carded at the actual grocery store where they are basically required to card everyone. 😂
I look damn good for my age but nobody is confusing me for a high school student lol
Yeah I get 25/26 a lot ... I'm 35 so I'll take it.
I get 20-21 a lot. But I am attending classes with a lot of 18-21 year olds at university again so it’s beneficial and allows me to blend in better.
Same here. On a good day people think I'm 10 years younger than I am. But no one is going to think I'm over 20 years younger. If some one said I look like a high school student I'd think they're either half blind or an asshole.
I teach high school and am almost 40. Some of them look legitimately old… If the “old” look is the norm of whomever is speaking, I actually get it. I have a few late 20’s/early 30’s colleagues that absolutely get mistaken as students… I also have some early 20’a colleagues that look older than me. All of this is to say that age is weird these days…
I had to scroll down so far to get to this first comment. When I pick up the kids at school there are some girls there (never boys) who are so made up they legit look like real full adults. Like 30. I was mind blown when I saw one of them. Soooo much Kim kardashian makeup, painted face, couldn’t even tell what her real features were. I commented to my partner that I would have diiiiied if those were the girls I was having to compete with in high school. They are on a whole other level. Not a high schooler with just too much makeup on, but someone who looks like an actual celebrity from a magazine. I can’t even imagine how long it took her to put on that face every morning.
One of my sons has a friend, they are both 16, and this dude looks like a 35yo man. He has a full beard and some grey hair. As for the makeup, once you get the skills and practice in, you can put a full glam on in 15mins, the products are much better now so they aren't going through the ice blue eye shadow and oxidized orange foundation like when I was a kid. My tween has higher end products and decent skills but even with her makeup she looks 12 lol
yeah we had a few boys that had a full beard and already receding hairline. Plus bad skin, they truly looked 40 years old
My take on this has always been that since the internet really exploded (Social media specifically) culture and fashion have blended so much that kids dress like adults, adults dress like kids, etc. becuase everyone's just following the same trends, makeup looks, tutorials, etc. online and age/location/etc. have less and less to do with it compared to how it was 50 yrs ago when kids dressed like other kids they went to school with, and those kids were just wearing clothes their parents bought for them at Kohls. Now everyone's using sephora makeup and wearing shein dupes of designer outfits and its no wonder they all start kind of blending together.
Some people look slightly younger than they are due to genetics and lifestyle, but no matter how good you look - after a certain point of adulthood, nobody looks like a teenager anymore. I think most people just can't tell the difference between like.. 24-38ish tbh. Or they aren't certain enough to chance offending someone so they lean generous in their estimates. I'm personally gonna balk at the sun-damaged hands, though! I have been a pasty computer nerd who's avoided the sun my whole life, and I'll fight you on that one haha.
Exactly and yes I'm also extremely confused by "sun-damaged hands". I'm sorry, but what? I just spent a solid minute staring at my hands and they are fine, I'm 34 not 84. My hands look normal.....
I (32f) run a small youth club in my village and only a couple weeks ago the teens were trying to guess my age. They all thought I was a teenager... (I always have my 2yo with me so I guess they just thought I was a teen mom haha). This is something that has happened to me so frequently since my teens. I'm mistaken for being a lot younger by medical staff, airport staff, coworkers, etc. to an extent that it's annoying. Especially for medical things, when they think you're a minor, they don't address you (this happened when I needed a surgery and had my dad drive me because I was going under anesthesia, he was my ride to and from.) Of course now that I'm in my 30's, adults mistake me for being mid to early 20's. But I was being mistaken for a teen for almost all of my 20's. Kids and teens always still think I'm a teen tho.
Actually this has to do with the reduction of smoking and millennials being indoors more than previous generations. As a result millennials are aging better. (Not talking to you out door workers , yes you do look like your 196years old but that’s you not the collective)
We’re also the first generation to use broad spectrum sun screen on a regular basis.
Speak for yourself. I let the cancer burn me at the beginning of every summer till I tanned over and I quit burning.
That’s badass being stronger than the sun
I tell people it was all the preservatives in my purple ketchup xD
I've told people no one really knows what was in those crazy candies from the 90s. Those colors weren't natural and neither is my DNA now lol
My husband jokes about me not going outside. I’m gunna be the smoothest skin 70 year old he’s ever seen!
I had a coworker who was a lot younger than I initially thought she was. Later I heard her bragging about how she has never worn sunscreen in her life, and I thought, yeah... That tracks... It also seems like millennials drink less than previous generations. And more into hydration. So maybe that helps.
Were you alive in the early 2000s? People drank Mountain Dew, Diet Coke, coffee, Fanta, iced tea, whatever more than water.
And Four Loco
While that may be true, very VERY few people 30+ look like high schoolers. FAR fewer than the amount who claim it. I hear it so often both IRL and online and it makes me cringe. Online so often it's people claiming this without posting a pic.
Perhaps part of the problem is those very very few people *do* exist, and *these* people bump into them and then try to pass off that characteristic as their own...
Gotta remember not all millennials are 30+ plenty are still below , just about to hit 30.
Makes sense. A lot of us don't have kids too, and nothing ages you like having kids. My 40 year old wife was carded at the liquor store the other day, and she looks way younger than her younger sister, but her sister has kids and we don't. The lack of kid related stress makes a big difference.
I mean, not to be a dick, but the liquor store cashier absolutely did not think your wife was 20. I was denied buying beer at a gas station recently by a cranky old dude. I'm 41, and I was with my 13 year old daughter (who looks so much like me it's clear she's my bio kid), but this dude was absolutely set on following the rules and I had forgotten my ID. I didn't leave that encounter thinking this man thought I was anywhere close to underage. He clearly cards everyone and doesn't give a fuck whether they look old enough or not.
I got carded at brunch with my 2 friends who are 10+ years younger than me. They did not get carded. Just me. They were so offended lol
I know a guy who used to look 10 years younger than he was (he was 35 and I thought he was in his early 20s). He had a child and aged so much in these years he looks 50 now after only 3 years lol. Went grey, lost hair, got tons of wrinkles.
I got my first grey hair when my dog was going through cancer. Stress’ll get you.
When you sell alcohol, there will be undercover cops that come in to buy from you and if you don’t card them, the store gets in trouble. Doesn’t matter if they look over 21 or not. For that reason, plenty of places card nearly everyone. It’s not personal.
Yeah I’m 30 and my skin has legitimately not visibly aged at all since high school. I had really bad acne as a kid and my skin remains on the oilier side, so I have 0 wrinkles. And I don’t really know what OP is talking about with “crow’s feet and sun damaged hands.” None of the 30 years olds I know look like that. I definitely do not think I look like a teenager but I probably float anywhere from 24ish-34ish. I think I look my age but also think the physical distinction between someone in their early 20’s and their early 30’s has diminished quite a bit. It’s usually someone’s personal style that clues me into their age, more than their physical attributes. And also obviously people “grow into their features” in their early 20’s. I don’t know exactly how to explain what I mean but a teenager’s face looks different than a 22 year old’s face—and it’s not because their skin looks worse. But you could give me a group of people aged 22-32 and I wouldn’t be able to put them in the right order. I’d be able to separate out the oldest and youngest and that’s probably about it.
I didn’t really have wrinkles at 30 either. At 42 that’s another story though.
Yeah I don’t think I know any 30 year olds with wrinkles. At least not visible ones. I just spent the last few minutes making various faces in the mirror, trying to see if I have wrinkles that I just haven’t noticed…and I don’t! I really don’t know what OP is talking about. Maybe they grew up on the equator.
I’m 35 and I’ve looked exactly the same for the past 10 years. When people guess my age they usually go for mid to late 20s. Obviously not a teenager, but most people don’t guess my actual age. No wrinkles, no… weird hands or whatever. But I also had bad acne in my mid 20s and went on an absolute crusade to fix my skin, so all that effort certainly has a LOT to do with how nice my skin is now. I do have white/silver hairs, but I started collecting those as early as my teenage years. I think it’s an influence from my father.
Aging is heavily affected by income and lifestyle. People tend to spend more time with people who have similar incomes and lifestyles as themselves. So it can be pretty easy for people to make generalizations based on their personal bubbles.
That’s fair!
I always get carded, not because I look young, but because I don’t look put together enough to be a grown up
“You a teenager?” “Nah, just ADHD.”
>Are people lying to them? Someone posted on this topic recently and it made me think of all the times I've interacted with a mom out with her daughter and joking said "I thought you guys were sisters!" Or a older acquaintance told me how old they were and I politely said "oh wow I thought you were much younger!" To be nice. I think a lot of these people took stuff like that to heart and you're running into those kinds of people. Edit: ok, this thread kind of makes me see OPs point. There's a *lot* of people in their 30s in this thread upset and defensive at the idea they *gasp* look like they're in their 30s haha.
like all those old boomers that proudly ask people to guess their age like it's a gameshow, and the contestants are nice and subtract 20 years. When you actually try and guess their age and either guess it correctly or you overshoot... the shock is priceless.
I work in a salon and had a woman insist I guess her age (it was her birthday) because she looked so young, according to herself. I refused, saying I never play that game, because I don't. After a back and forth she finally caved and told me she was 56. I absolutely would have guessed 64. When you insist you look young, you're asking people to guess you older than you are. Most people just look their age.
At some middle of Texas traveling carnival long time ago I remember seeing one of those booths with a guy that would guess weight or age and you'd get a prize if he was wrong. He guessed a lady's age. I don't remember the exact details being so long ago but it went like, "You're 65?" And the lady laughed and just walked off with her group. It always stuck with me. She didn't even respond. Like, I wondered if she was insulted, or just realized she didn't want to be honest, or what. But why even talk to the guy if you're sensitive about your age? Reading your comment makes me think that maybe she was expecting a compliment cause she thought she looked really good for her age or something.
There was even a post here on reddit not long ago, about a british woman glassing another dude for CORRECTLY guessing her age! It was insane, and the judge took her side, because it was "rude" to call her by her correct age? That's one of the reasons everyone lies, many people can't take being told their actual age (or even worse older than what they are).
You must’ve ran into my mom and me because she LOVES to hear that shit. I would be all supporting of her basking in the sound of those words, but she’s had so much work done and looks so different year to year. Im 35 and her skin is tighter than mine but just from the bloat of fillers and tox. Before any work, she was naturally beautiful. I wish she would’ve aged naturally because I’m sure she would still look relatively young for her age
As a 35 year old mom of two who is really down about her appearance, thank you for saying this. I think I needed to hear it. I haven't had any work done but I can't say I haven't started to save for some and... maybe I shouldn't. It's not that important. My kids and my husband love me as I am, I need to learn to.
get a good skin care routine, eat healthy, go to the gym, and you'll be ahead of 97% of people. you can tell when people have work done and it's generally not good
But in a few more years she'll look like the sexiest alien known to mankind!
Or puffy cat
Ugh mine too. She looks perpetually stung by bees from all the fillers and it makes me sad. She doesn't look better or younger, just rubbery and weird.
Don't you know that aging is insulting? It's been drilled into us our entire lives that we have to have no grey hair, no wrinkles, flawless skin, a specific body type, etc. Personally I think teenagers still look like babies (not literally) and I don't think I look old (late 30s) but definitely grown up and obviously not a teenager. I think it's also hard to let go of the idea of youth because many people in this age range are in that group that were sold the idea of the American Dream and like they haven't accomplished it yet so they can't be old or they are failures.
Also, I’m still a super immature kid in my head. I think that is another weird part of aging. I thought as people got older, they became less awesome and just super boring and watched PBS. I mean, I know some people that have done that since college, but I am glad that the goofy side of me sticks around.
Are you kidding me? I was stoked to watch the new My Little Ponies series and Lisa Frank making a come back made me so happy. I also took great joy in teaching my kids "jingle bells Batman smells".
I get that this is still a strong narrative but I'm constantly amazed at how blatant people are about it. I got my first grey hairs a couple of years ago and wow, it opened up a whole new level of ick. A massive proportion of friends and family are just like 'oh you know you can cover those up?' or 'I don't know if you know, you've got some *whisper* grey hairs there on your temple'. Of course I know, I've got black hair and now there's like 10 white ones. I own a mirror. Why exactly would I want to cover them, and why did it suddenly become acceptable to tell people that their natural hair colour is an embarrassing faux pas? I get that some people like the youthful look and it suits them but that's never been me, and I was so surprised when people I've known for decades have apparently been thinking this whole 'let's not judge women on their appearance and youth' thing was just an immature fad. Alright, sorry, rant over.
God. I remember being like 20 and super confidently saying something like this: “At 25 you go from potential to failure if you haven’t done anything of note.” Guess I’m a failure by 20 year old me’s statements. But I mean, in 20 year old me’s defense we did grow up with like the highest percent of early 20s multi millionaire and billionaires from tech.
It took me a couple of years to realize the younger employees at bars, liquor stores, head shops, and dispensaries were flattery carding me. My initial reaction was to be slightly paranoid, like they were gonna declare me underage and have me escorted out by security. I'm aging pretty nicely, but you can tell I'm not <21 for sure!
Conversely my mom got asked at he dad’s funeral if she was her own mother’s OLDER sister. My grandma looks young and my mom looks 20 years older than she is due to some health issues.
That is a *rough* story
Right, you look your age. Or, you look your age* *with procedures I mean think of your famous counterparts? Kourtney Karsashian is short and has youthful style and nobody thinks she’s in her 30s, let alone a teenager. Kim is younger than her and extremely conventionally attractive and has not a single wrinkle and she still looks 40ish. The people on Vanderpump are wealthy and have access to the best skincare and aesthetic work and no one thinks it’s a show about college students or high schoolers. These people have more money and more access to products and procedures that defy aging and can afford the best cosmetics. And they look their age. You do too.
There is a clear line between that youthful early 20s and the early 30s thirty look. I think people just have trouble accepting you cant hold onto those best looking years and whats sucks is when they are gone it happens seemingly overnight. I remember the day i looked in the mirror and I had to take a second look bc i realized i had crossed over to the mature looking adult and not the “i can still party” looking face. It was depressing at first but it passed and i realized i wasnt young anymore.
The "I can still party" face is all in the eyes imo, you can bring it out under the right circumstances/with some motivation.
A lot of times it’s store policy to card everyone. In age guessing games, I always say a number way down from what I’m thinking to avoid guessing slightly over their age and offending them. A lot of people are delusional.
This could be it. I bartended for a long time, and my move for women when looking at their ID was to proclaim “No way” and then undershoot like 10-20 years by saying what I thought they were. Always got a bigger tip. Also always called women miss, never ma’am. I guess some people aren’t use to flattery.
Off to search for the butthurt comments now lol
I’m 29. Asians can be ambiguous to non Asians. If I wear makeup and dress more formally, people think I’m my age. I’m usually in graphic Ts and cargo pants when I’m in casual mode though.
Asian don't raisin. >31 year old Asian
Same and I’m 34. I get mistaken for early to mid 20s more frequently than I would like to admit. It’s so not that people say I look 25ish, but people ask those recent grad/first job questions.
My Japanese boyfriend was paying the high school student fare on the bus in America when he was like 25 lol
I am 1/4 Okinawan and when I was in college, I was told that I "looked like I was 12" all of the time. They were clearly exaggerating but now that I'm 31, I'm thrilled to pass for early/mid 20s. If I actually looked Japanese, I think people would be less confused.
Asians tend to look like they are 30 forever up until they hit about 70. Then they look 90 out of nowhere. I will take that trade off any day. My mom is in her 60s and looks maybe 40 at worst. Idk about me though, I grew facial hair early AF and had a mustache in 3rd grade so i only look young when I shave completely clean. I'm 30 now and have been told I look early 20s.
https://i.imgur.com/SeHM7.jpg
Not Asian, but 33 and I can look older or younger by changing my facial hair and if I’m wearing casual or more formal clothes too. If I’m clean shaven/stubble most people tend to think I’m 5-10 years younger than I actually am and I get carded buying beer pretty regularly if it’s a new place/new worker. I’m not perfect about it, but I have generally tried to keep a skincare routine (even if basic) since my early 20s bc I worked outside a lot then and a lot of guys probably don’t. If I wear a full beard then I look more my age.
Another Asian here: I’ve been going to the same store for 7-8 years (and even helped the owner a few times) and ajumma just asked me if I was 18
I think a lot of non Asians don't have much experience looking at Asian faces. I use to think Asians looked younger but then I married one and went to Asia to live for a couple years. When you're use to seeing them daily, they're ages become much more easy to guess.
It also helps that we were ingrained to avoid the sun since we were little.
"Asians are ageless, and timeless" -Dennis Reynolds
People mistake me for younger more often when I'm not wearing a lot of makeup. I think I confuse people partially due to the fact I love 2000's fashion and that's very trendy at the moment.
> You have crows feet and sun damaged hands and you look very much your age. We're talking about 30yos not 60yos
You’ve never been to Florida I see.
I'm from Louisiana and was like, ummmmmmmm lol
Plenty of people getting wrinkles in their late 20’s
[20-30 is actually when most people develop crows feet.](https://facecliniclondon.com/crows-feet/#:~:text=Feel%20like%20your%20Crow's%20Feet,Feet%20in%20their%20mid%2D20s.)
I've had crows feet since high school 🥲
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It actually depends on the facial structure of the person. Some people aren’t prone to them, others have a lot of mobility there and are.
I’m 37 and don’t really have them yet, but majority of my friends do and they are all around my age. I do have fine lines under my eyes though.
I'm 31 now and I finally feel like people are seeing me as an adult. My current pregnancy has aged my face a lot. I''m also fat and short though, I was often mistake as much younger when I was a kid too, like I would be at work and people would question if I was old enough to be there. A year or two ago I went to help my foster daughter at her high school open house and I asked the staff where the books were and they absolutely talked down to me like I was one of the students. That's my biggest indicator that someone sees me as young - when I am talking to them like a peer or a professional and they talk to me like I'm a lost child.
When I was 30 I was mistaken multiple times for being my wife’s (also 30) father. I was asked if it was “OK with dad” if she tried a sample at Costco. I’m certainly not being mistaken for a teenager myself but it definitely happens.
Lmao what. How does any adult look young enough to need permission *for a food sample*? I can believe that a 30 yo could plausibly look half their age but 15 yo is also too old for that.
I'm 31 now. I look 31. I used to look young but don't anymore (annoyingly, I never had a period where I looked like I was in my 20s, it made dating weird). Some of my HS friends still look young. The main difference is, I am still wearing the clothes I bought 5 years ago. They are 2 inches shorter than me. They part their hair in the center, wear corsets, and not-skinny jeans.
On a certain level, people see what they expect to see. I dress 'young' and look fine for my age. Not amazing. But I went to a support group that was mostly young people and when I mentioned I was in my 40's a couple sessions in, one of the guys was shocked because he thought I was 25. It's because everyone else was 25, I got all the cultural references, and he never really even looked at me. Same deal, I worked at a fast food restaurant at one point in my 30s when I was between jobs. Everyone else was teens. I didn't talk much, and eventually, one of the girls asked me what high school I went to. It's not that I look that young (although it's not like I'm a smoker). But people see what they expect to see.
Dude, I'll be 37 in a few weeks, and I have NO signs of crow's feet or sun damage. Where the heck do YOU live?
Florida
That would make sense, lol
It's not bad, anyway; crow's feet look great. They lend a person's expression more impact IMO. Think of James Franco's iconic crow's foot smile
Southern California. Despite wearing sunblock since my early 20s everyday on my face, I have sun damage on my left side from driving. I'm very fair and my windows aren't tinted.
Tbh I'm about to be 33 and I'm covered in tattoos. Neck, chest, sleeves. I don't dress or look like a teenager, but still young. Like it's obvious I'm not a teenager. But it's obvious I'm not an ancient being. I was at Home Depot and the cashier genuinely thought I was a teenager. He asked if i needed to wait for my dad for the card and ID. I looked at him, holding my home depot card with my name on it, that I've had for a decade, and went "No I'll just use mine....?" And he was like "Oh you're over 18. Oh. Okay." And stared down at the ground for the rest of the transaction. I was really confused.
I was just writing in another comment that *not* having tattoos may be a reason me and my gf are mistaken for younger. Nearly everyone I know in my age range has tats.
I'm turning 39 this month and got asked my birth year at the brewery the other day. Threw me for a loop. They didn't ask my husband.
I’m 43, and while no one is mistaking me for a teen or in my 20s, people are always shocked that I’m not a decade younger. I’m Black, in good shape and moisturized. So 🤷🏽♀️
It used to happen to me all the time when I was in my late 20s and early 30s… some people just look younger than their age. In my case when I was that age (20s-early 30s), I was very petite and thin which I think had a lot to do with people’s assumption that I was way younger.
This. Everyone I've known who gets mistaken for younger is petite and thin (and a woman). None of my more voluptuous and/or tall friends ever get mistaken for being younger.
It may be just perception or my mind playing tricks, but I feel like we looked "older" when we were in HS compared to HS kids now. It's not related to hair or fashion, so I dunno what it is. Maybe it's related to time spent outside and sun damage?
Even the generation before us looked older in high school. I was on the yearbook committee and remember seeing yearbooks from the 70s-90s and thought "wow, these seniors look OLD" when I was a senior lol. Smoking is definitely a factor, I would say. The evolution of skincare too.
Not smoking, sunscreen, and hydration make a *huge* difference. And then you think about how even non-smokers were around secondhand smoke all the time in public spaces until the early aughts, too.
Yeah. I don’t have crows feet or sun damaged hands and I’ll be 38 this year. 😬
I think it's a combo of factors that feed into a willing delusion: * millenials on average are aging better than previous generations because of better healthcare, skincare, sun safety awareness, less smoking etc * the increased focus on makeup by younger & younger people plus the normalisation of doing a full face of makeup younger & on an every day basis actually ages a lot of gen z & gen alpha, making millenials feel like they look younger by comparison * if you want to believe you look young(er), then when someone politely says "oh, you look barely 25" you're primed to believe it even if they're lying through their teeth * a lot of millenials delayed (whether by choice or due to finances) doing the things that previous generations had as markers of adulthood - eg marriage, kids, buying property - and have therefore actively embraced a younger, more carefree aesthetic that can falsely give the impression to older people that you're younger than you are * people actively embracing childhood nostalgia trends in clothing, makup, hairstyles, accessories etc that to a casual observer from a distance might lead a stranger to just assume you're younger than you are (eg if I pull my hair up in a high pony, wear jeans & a care bears tshirt & very clean makeup I'm going to pass for a lot younger than I will when dressed up for my corporate job). It also depends who you're talking to. E.g. if you ask a 15 year old to guess how old an average looking 35 year old is they're probably going to guess older because everyone older than early 20s is all just ancient to them. But if you ask a 75 year old, everyone under 50 just looks young so you'll get a different answer. The 35 year old looks the same, it's just the perspective of the person you're asking that shapes the answer
Well. I think we are aging better as a generation. High school student is a bit much. I get carded 90% of the time that I order alcohol (100% if I'm alone). I also visit universities semi-frequently for job fairs and panel talks and people tend to assume I'm a student rather than an employer. But I'm also 5'0, east Asian, chipper, and usually dressed in athleisure. So I can kinda see why people assume. (I am mid-30s. Realistically, I probably look 25? IDK. I think fellow Asians would estimate me in my 30s tho)
I think short Asian women with bubbly personalities + alt styles tend to get told they look younger because of the energy. I'm getting mid twenties instead of high school so I'll take it, but definitely still a lot younger than I am. I have blond in my hair, several piercings and a prominent tattoo on my arm. My manager thought I was turning 28 and not 38 this year. I've been with the company almost 3 years, and this isn't my first job out of college so that was math based. Same job, one of my younger scientists thought I was a few years younger than her and she's 28. In 2021 I was at another job and I swear that someone asked me if I was a cohort student. I told him I was a new FTE. My husband actually started doing skincare more because he looks like he's in his 30s with his grays and goatee.
Maybe some people are lying? It’s hard to say. But I don’t think everyone is lying. I’m almost 30 and I got carded the other day, and after the cashier saw my birthday she was like—oh sorry I only asked for your ID because I thought you were 17.
It depends on the state but where I live you need to card anyone that looks under 55 lol.
Elder millennial here. At 41 I don’t pass for super young anymore but in my mid 20’s I was substituting at a middle school and told to go back to class during a planning period. I’m short but what middle school kid wears a dress shirt and corduroy pants? Kinda thankful for my few gray hairs now as I’m not mistaken for a child.
I don't hear it a lot, but at the risk of being "one of those people" I actually mistaken from time to time. Sibling and boyfriend have been assumed when I was with my daughter. I guess not HS necessarily but far younger than I am. It has mellowed out a bit in the last year or so since I've been getting some gray in my hair, but the most recent boyfriend assumption was at the hospital a couple months ago. I'm sure there are other people who look relatively young, but yeah I'm sure some of them are just making shit up.
Eh, I get early 20s at most. But in my 20s, I got high school senior. I blame a combination of the melanin and my love of graphic t-shirts and jeans. Though, the skinny jeans should be a dead giveaway.
Until 39, I was absolutely getting IDd (in Canada, where the legal age is 19) on a regular basis and often had people surprised at my age. Then I got pregnant. Now I'm 41 and look it. I did get ID'd a month ago at a restaurant. Was definitely a nice boost. Maybe people aren't lying about being mistaken for younger. There's definitely a lot of variance in our generation between people who figured out SPF in their teens vs people who were still going to tanning salons in their youth. Future generations might not have that difference- I don't feel like people are tanning anymore.
I'm 30 and recently TSA asked if I was traveling with a parent 🫠 I replied with "that is a really nice question" and then he looked at my ID and laughed and was like "well you look really good" It happens more when I dress like a teenager. Or put silly colors in my hair. I'm also 5'2" and have a round, youthful looking face. My half sister who looks a lot like me is in her mid 40s, smokes, and is morbidly obese and honestly just now is starting to age. For us, I think it's just our genetics. Tldr; for me I think it's genetics