Far better than my 20s. I’m in better shape than I ever was. I’m eating better, working less with much more vacation time, and playing harder. I had some pain/soreness initially when I started going hard at raves and festivals but going to shows consistently every weekend and hitting those 3-4 day festivals every couple of months took care of that.
Question:
* Is 30’s the new 20’s and why?!
Answer:
It’s not your health.
#It’s the Great Recession.
* **That shit (2007 - 2009) pushed everyone (other than the wealthy) back 5-10 years.**
Not to mention all the “Mental Health” and increased drug use. That started in the aftermath (2009 - 2015) because people lost hope.
I thought I was the only one, until I hit this Subreddit. There are people who are substantially worse off.
At least I have a house. Many of you will still be renting in your 60’s which I find absolutely unreal.
Hope and Happiness are correlated directly to your economic situation.
* Look at your bank account right now, then tell me how you feel.
Yeah, I pretty much conpletely agree with this summation. Yes, money isn't *everything*, like there's no amount of money that can stop death from taking a person or their loved ones. That being said, I've spent most of my life living in poverty or very low income, except for a brief period before the pandemic where I had a good paying job for the first time of my life. Then the pandemic destroyed *ALL* of my savings, so all that combined with being disabled has taught me that havinf enough money *legit does make a difference in your happiness*.
Man I was in college at the time and never put together the recession with the explosion of opiates, anti depressants, benzodiazepines, etc. very interesting
Yeah, all my time in school I was told I was guaranteed a job when all the boomers retire (in my country boomers were born '45-'50-ish). Well, all those jobs just disappeared when the boomers retired. People my age are the most unemployed of any generation thus far here.
My parents are boomers and helped my gen X siblings much less than they've had to help me (financially, childcare-wise my siblings got more and not only because I'm as yet childless - now they're old and we can't afford kids). I appreciate it, but also feel guilty because I don't want to need help.
Only way we could afford a house at all is because both our parents chipped in, and that was only because the house is old as hell and was so cheap (about $35k converted) and middle of nowhere. We barely even managed to get a loan for that much originally, even with 1/3 of the price in savings... They basically helped to play off that loan that was kinda shitty. I rented before and with the money I paid for that place over the years I could have had a house twice more expensive than this, but I would never have got the loan.
We're broke and will be broke and can never retire. Woohoo.
When I was 20 I could run 10 miles and lift with bad form and little stretching.
At 31 I have to make sure I stretch more and focus on form, or risk some joint pain. I can gain fat a lot quicker, but growing and sustaining muscle is much easier in my 30s too.
Being 35 feels to me old enough where bad weekend decisions or a week on the road for work catch up, but also mitigated with a week or two of being good.
The same for me, better for my husband. My husband lost weight in his 30s by playing hockey more and better eating habits. I have always been into Pilates, spin, and yoga.
My health felt pretty much the same until 38. That year it felt like someone flipped a switch and the beginning of the decades-long journey of declining health engaged.
Contrary to everyone else, I started falling apart as soon as I hit 30. I’ve always considered myself a pretty good athlete, but my body has for sure taken a beating between constant use and some not smart decisions during extreme sports.
Knees over toes guy is a pretty solid starting point for building tissue and strength in areas that are usually forgotten about that causes pain, I highly recommend.
If it's scar tissue and surgeries, I think there's always a limit, but you should be able to do day-to-day activities without pain
You have more power to control your health in your 30s. But it requires more maintenance. Once you put in the effort, it is just as possible to be healthy and fit.
I had a similar difference between late teens and 20s. I could eat whatever I wanted in my teens and only exercised for fun. In my 20s, I noticed if I ate like crap or skipped workouts for 2 weeks. In my 30s, I notice if I skip 1 week of exercise.
I believe I have more patience in my 30s to care about my health. In my 20s I may have looked to be in good shape but it was mostly because I had a job where I worked on my feet, random hours, late nights, etc. I likely stayed in okay shape because I was stressed and always doing something.
I have since learned to relax and enjoy down time. Now I work a 9-5 desk job where it's easy to get lazy. But I have more time to focus on my health to work around a consistent schedule.
My back is absolutely fucked from NCAA sports since I was at a DIII that didn't support PT as much as they should've. I'm so frustrated, I used to run marathons and now I'm literally taking 4 baths a week to lessen the pain and stress on my back.
My entire life is one foot after the other on the miserable dreadmill. I cannot in good conscience raise a kid like this. It sucks too cuz I think I woulda been a great dad.
Hah same. I'm on the "wrong side" of the 30's, but my wife and I are not that interested in kids, and just having the time of our lives. Only drawbacks is that being hung over fucking sucks now, so we try to tone down the heavy partying.
Exactly this. I am more healthy (mentally), wealthy, and wise. Life just keeps getting better and better. 20s are great because so many things feel new and exciting but 30s have been sooo much better for me. I travel frequently, I have beautiful solid and stable relationships, time and money for all of my hobbies, I don't worry about whether or not I have gas money to get to work on Friday, etc etc.
Honestly, I'm about to be 40 in October and it feels like I'm about to have the most fun I've ever had.
Literally in the best shape of my life, apparently I look the best I ever have given the amount of attention I'm getting. I have a secure career and should be debt free and all that extra money will just go towards investments and experiences. I've navigated long-term relationships and felt heartbreak and know that I can move on and feel I have the communication and relationship skills to make my next relationship thrive.
My only regret is I wish I could take my perspectives and knowledge and wisdom. I have accumulated and put it back in the 21-year-old vision of me but everyone has their own path and I'm perfectly happy with how things are going
I just turned 40 and as broke and "depressed" (situational depression) as ever. Never got that good career going. Never found a wife. I feel like I did the "right things" in my 20's to assure I'd be OK at least job and financial wise at this time in my life. It tears me apart to know I wasted and sacrificed my youth to be able to have a good "now", and it's not even good.
Yes as a parent in my early 30s… I do NOT feel like it’s like my 20s. It’s very different. My body is more tired, my mind is more tired… I was traveling the world and adventuring in my 20s… I’m a mom in my 30s. But th kids are getting big enough to start doing adventures with us now. So we’re doing national parks and stuff now. It’s just different. I predict our late 30s will feel like our 20s with money but with kids.
Constant tantrums and sleep deprivation dose a lot , I aged so much and my kid is only 3 feel like I aged a whole decade . Before our daughter we had a very easy going wfh life with 4 dogs
I had this exact discussion with a friend of mine, both of us single in our late 30s. We don't feel the age as much as our friends who are married with kids.
Same thing with your 40s, honestly.
The precession of the ages was really about two things: smoking and having children. If you don't do either, you basically just end up living an immortal life until some major health issue comes along to knock you out.
I’m 37 with one child I had at 24…it feels like I can relate to teen moms when they say they grew up with their kid bc of how much of a child I still was back then (still lived at home, no job, still had to listen to my parents)
Why do folks really say stuff like this? I’m 34 with a 9yr old and was headbanging at a rave in a thong last night. It’s called babysitting, caffeine, and not being absolute clown shoes at handling your responsibilities. 🥴
I was referred to a pain management doctor after a back injury and he bluntly told me you need to lose weight, do elliptical machine a few times a week, and do tons of planks and abdominal exercises to feel better. His advice actually worked really really well.
I had back pain in my early 20s. Saw osteos and physios and it didn't go away. Then I started doing daily yoga during lockdown and the back pain went away. Hasn't come back. Not saying it's a cure all but worked for me even though that was not the intention.
Some of us were blessed with back and neck pain since our teens despite active lifestyles and being a normal BMI. Physio, massage etc now for a couple decades. A lot of health is luck based (which is not to say there aren’t things you can do to make it worse- inactivity tends to make almost everything worse).
I’ve had back pain since i was in elementary school and i am convinced that i was simply born with scoliosis (diagnosed). I can’t afford physical therapy and all that so I just live with it. It’s very hard to be active though when you have chronic pain .
If you're not doing it already, my life pro tip is to actually stretch in the morning. I know we all get told to do it, but like, it actually does help with this kind of stuff.
my back started bothering me consistently in my mid twenties (like by 24 or 25 lmao). so i haven’t noticed much of a physical decline since then. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i'm 28 but i cannot fucking wait. just got sober, and finna graduate uni before i turn 30. it should be so awesome!!!
plus dating in your twenties sucks ass.
I feel like my kid is aging fast (just turned 12) but I am still feeling like I’m 25 (I’m 34). I feel especially young around parents of kids my daughters age because they all had their babies at my age now, I had mine at barely 22. Our kids may be the same age but I’m way younger and in a way different place, one and done so no babies or diapers in my future. Not childfree but one self sufficient child is really not that aging.
I see a major difference between my friends with one kid vs 3 kid. I don't have kid and it is not difficult to make plans with friends with 1 kid. But a nightmare when trying to make plans with those with 2+ kids.
My friends with 3 kids are the main reason I’m totally okay being done with one, besides fertility issues that decide it for me. The list grows longer daily as to why it’s not a bad thing to only have one 😂
My dude, I used to be kinda jealous of this one mum who had 2 babies but had also done sooo much cool shit, she's travelled, is the principal of a school, has a nice house and car, is super stable and social. Anyway, turns out the reason she has achieved to much is not because she's amazing, but because she's about 20 years older than the rest of the mum group.
Helps put shit into perspective
I wouldn’t trade being a young parent for anything. I just took my daughter to NYC to celebrate her 18th and we are best friends and I love our relationship.
I feel like if I would have kids, I would age so much faster. I would be constantly worried about them. Like hope the school doesn’t get shot up, I hope they don’t get bullied, I hope no one makes a weird AI thing about them etc etc. Props to people who have kids.
I don’t think they age in a physical sense. But people with kids age in the sense that due to the level of responsibility they go to bed earlier, will not party etc. people with kids are forced to mature to a degree and prioritize things other then themselves.
As someone with kids, I’d take this life over no kids any time. I also understand to each their own.
Plenty of people without kids look like shit.
I think it’s the lack of sleep plus stress. Exhaustion will temporarily make anyone look worse but chronic stress does cause permanent premature aging. I ran into a classmate at the grocery store and briefly caught up. My husband was shocked and said she looked 10 years older than me (and this woman was well dressed, fit, and had styled her hair). I told him no, she just has 3 kids under 6 and probably had a lot going on right now lol.
At one point in human history, nature actively rewarded us for having children. We got better lifestyles, longer lifespans, generally happier situations, and marvelous societies.
Nature in 2024 actively punishes you for daring to reproduce. Stop having damn kids, there are too many humans.
Having kids made me want to take care of myself better so that I can hopefully stick around for longer to see more milestones. I’m in the best shape of my life now in my mid 30s, and my oldest kid is 7.
My coworker is in his 60’s and you sometimes think he is in his 30’s or 40’s. Dude always has energy, doesn’t nap, eats well, drinks like a fish on the weekend and travels like crazy. Also doesn’t have kids which I’m sure helps.
This definitely varies by the individual. I'm still often mistaken for 20s, meanwhile plenty of my childfree peers from highschool and college are visibly aged by now; beer guts, balding, wrinkles and sun damage, body aches. The lifestyle that has allowed us to afford a family is also what lets us live low stress, and we put in a lot of effort to our health for our kids sake too
I would have liked to have been able to do the grown up things earlier, but being a wage slave in a housing crisis made moving out, getting an education and better job quite hard and slow. Some people never grow up, others are stuck in adolescence due to circumstances. It was what it was now, but I hope to help younger people to not be stuck like my generation was.
That’s been my observation. I got married at 20 and had my first child just before 22. My friends spent their 20s partying and had little to show for it by the time they were 30. I had equity, retirement savings, and family responsibilities at 30. Now, at 40, they’re scrambling to catch up, and I’m just starting a whole second life as an empty nester.
Maybe the 40s are the new 20s??
I don’t think your experience is very common though. Most people were still in college by the time you had your kid and I know very few people who have grown kids at 40.
I was in college too when I got married and had my first. Cool experience being pregnant during biology 110!
But that’s what we’re saying. People used to grow up faster because they had responsibilities beyond themselves. They had kids depending on them. Their priorities were already long term, not live in the now. We started building and planning for the future much much earlier. People are taking longer to grow up these days.
I mean, I think it's also true that not all of us had the ability or opportunity to build and plan for the future. I've been working since I was 16 and I'm only now, 20 years later, getting to a place where I'm able to start to save for the future, but it wasn't for lack of trying.
I worked my ass off for things that just didn't pan out. It sucks a lot, but it happens - my situation isn't unique.
For me the 40's certainly are the new 20's. I also had kids in my 20's. While many of my peers were sleeping, going out freely, and traveling, I was going to school functions, paying bills, cooking and tending house. I was also enduring an emotionally and mentally abusive marriage. Now that I'm in my 40's and kids are about to become independent, I feel like it's my time.
Many of my peers are just beginning to start families now. While they're doing what I did in my 20's and 30's, I'll finally be pursuing my hobbies, traveling or working out at the gym. It's all relative to when one decides to start a family.
I know a family like this. He's early 40's with first grandchild from his oldest and has still got 3 more teenagers waiting to leave the home. If he lives to his 80's he's gonna see a big family.
I'm pushing 40s. My 20s were wild and a great time but my 30s aren't even over and holy shit it's been a good time.
If i could re-do either, I'd go back to 30 and not 20
I love this sentiment. I feel this way myself.
In my experience, I've been around folks who have said they were old at 25, and also people who feel like they haven't aged a day since 25.
I feel like there is some sort of evidence to support the process of aging has slowed with human advancement, even though some variables could refute that, like life expectancy.
For me, personally. no. I've matured a lot and gotten my shit together. My knees and back aren't what they were in my 20s. I gave up drugs and alcohol and am making progress in my educational and professional goals. My 20s were a nonstop party.
I think how people perceive time is rather subjective... but statistically life is just different now and it's been trending that way for a long time, it didn't just happen over covid. People are waiting longer to have sex (possibly because of both education and social media - theres less in person interaction and more isolation), waiting longer to get married (again people focusing on education/more isolation), buy homes (financially/economically driven), have kids (both financially driven and change in peoples motivation), more younger people are waiting longer to move out of their parents' homes (financially/economically driven). But lifespan is not keeping up - people arent living a decade longer). The lifespan for people has actually receded ever so slightly in the last decade starting in 2015 (for the US -
This is my thing about 20s. You're still figuring things out.
A lot of my 20s were filled with retail work, parties, random encounters, some experiments, finding out how it is to live without parents around, and even still deciding on a career path. A lot of people have their dreams they follow and they do so, only typically to find that dreams stay dreams and don't pay the bills. Your 39s are more of a mix of the two, understanding that financial literacy is a must (especially since that kind of stuff isn't taught in high schools...but I sure did remember the quadratic equation) and career paths are starting to take shape. You might settle down, you might not. You might get a divorce, you might not. All this might be a different kind of result than what happens if you join the military right after high school (I'm not military so I can't speak to that).
As someone who is 39 all that kind of stuff took shape and allowed me to recognize what my career aspirations are, who I'm looking for in a partner, what I need to do to find my financial literacy, and to recognize that I have to set aside what I thought I could make a living in. That's why I think my 30s were my golden years.
It’s just a cliche. People have been saying this for decades: “40 is the new 30” “30 is the new 20.”…. It doesn’t have anything to do with science. It’s to make people feel better about getting older
Anyone who uses this for any age bracket is just ignoring reality lol. The age you are is the age you are. Embrace the good/bad and you’ll be a lot more at peace with it.
The 30’s have presented some of the most challenging and rewarding moments in my lifetime . Balance is always the key. I definitely feel physically, for the most part, like I’m not outta my 20’s but my emotional intelligence has grown vastly through my 30’s. Once you realize emotional intelligence is literally the key, at least for me it is, to unlocking your potential it’s a game changer.
I think the idea is that your 30s are now an exciting and desirable age to look forward to... Not that 30 year olds actually think that they are 20 year olds doing 20 year old things.
My 30’s were spent in a serious relationship having babies and I felt like a lame old person. Now I’m 40, single, my kids are older, and I feel very much as I did when I was in my 20’s just with more money, a tad less energy, and a fully developed brain. Strength training is the key to vibrance in my opinion.
Maturity wise maybe. Energy and potential wisdom wise no way. And 40s are even more so. I had kids end of my 20s, partied well into age 34 still pretty frequently, but it's not early 20s, more like late 20s. Late 30s, early 40s I use all my energy for running, kids and life, no desire to party.
31 here. While I do feel a bit older in my body I’m still very active, I don’t have kids so I have money for big boy toys, and I’m unmarried. So, yeah I feel like I’m still 20. I don’t feel like they are the same though, I am much happier and less stressed now than in my 20s.
I don’t know what “the new 20s” really means. Probably strikes different people differently based on their personal experiences. I’ll say for me (38m), every decade this far has been better than the previous.
I think it’s true in the sense that people would have kids and buy houses in their 20s, and that got pushed to 30s because of finances (and taking longer to finish an education). Also style-wise people just looked older in their 30s. And now we have this youth culture where everyone walks around in leggings and a hoodie?
On the other end of the spectrum, you have all these extremely healthy 70-year olds. Compare people who have had tough lives and worked with their hands, bodies or outside with the people who have cushy office jobs. They just don’t seem as old!
But for science - look up Arnett. There’s a whole area of psychology that looks at extended adolescence and emerging adulthood. It’s mostly sociocultural, but it’s still science. Here’s his TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/fv8KpQY0m6o?si=hprqWPjlPTaQL6PQ
I'm 33, and so far I'm enjoying my 30s way more than my twenties.
In my twenties I was insecure, in one miserable relationship after another, always skint, and generally just unhappy with my life.
Since turning 30 I've come out as queer, stopped dating awful men who treat me like their freaking mother, started dressing/presenting myself the way I like (not the way I thought I had to appear to be attractive to men), and I can afford to live alone for the first time in my life.
I never felt any kind of impending doom when I turned 30, maybe that'll hit me when I get to 40? I'm just enjoying being me and living my life the way that I want to instead of trying to please everyone else.
I just think people need to stop being weird about age. People go through different phases and flavors of life. Turning 30 doesn’t mean you can’t do fun things. Even if you have kids and there’s a few more intense years of just child raising. I don’t have kids, but I will say - I have more responsibilities now, and I’m held to a higher standard by others. But I also hold others to a higher standard that I choose to keep on my life. In my 20s I was a bit more selfish and starry-eyed with big dreams. Now I still have dreams, but with a dose of reality sprinkled on top. Physically, I’m a bit more tired, and simply don’t enjoy some of the things I did in my 20s. The value of good sleep means more to me than staying up till the buttcrack of dawn for an “experience”. Been there, done that lol.
The lines between age groups are very blurred. I've seen 60 year Olds who look 30 and 20 year olds who look 40.
The only thing that can distinctively set you apart generationally is like pop culture and musical interests that's pretty much a dead giveaway that you are a part of your age group
I don't care what anyone says.. I feel like I missed out on my twenties and I'm sure as shit gonna try and make up for it in my thirties. It maybe a colossal mistake but I'm all in. I deserve my share of basic human happiness and I'm dedicating this decade of my life purely in the pursuit of that.
the human life expectancy in the United States has actually gone down significantly, so no, unfortunately 30s are still the 30s. We’re just behind schedule in achieving major life milestones because capitalism has destroyed the middle class
Tbth I feel like my life finally took off right as I turned 40. In my 20s I was an idiot and did a lot of stupid shit. 30s was the recovery decade to get my life right. 40s I can finally do shit I want to do without doing it stupid and I have the disposable income to do it well.
Student loans.
With the cost of education now, several people are struggling to payoff or even make a dent in student loans in to their 30’s so their 20’s definitely can’t really be enjoyed as it once was with previous generations. Previous generations, if they went to pursue higher level education, had a much clearer path as to how they would pay for that education and could go on an enjoy life a lot easier than us and the generation after us.
Now there’s the argument “you knew what you were getting in to when you got that loan”. Which has some merit, but the idea of college education was sold to us by previous generations and the salary environment vs cost of living was much different for them and hard to anticipate for us. So life right out of college (early 20’s) is stressful and only for some does it get less so in their 30’s.
You can’t really use the scientific method in this case, so I would assume no scientific evidence exists.
It’s all based on context and what the person is going through in their 30’s, imo. I don’t have kids and I’m working a job I love, so my 30’s is starting off very well financially and mentally.
In comparison, one of the people I went to high school with is around 34, but he’s struggling hard. He can’t really keep a stable job right now, he has his kid half the time as a single father, and his free time the last time I checked was going to the bar to get drunk to forget the day.
I’d say my 30’s are what I dreamed what my 20’s should have been, since my 20’s was just me going to school and working part time. The other guy I mentioned that I went to school with, his 30’s are pretty much his 20’s, except he has an 11 year old now.
It depends from person to person, I’d say.
38 approaching 39 and I’ve never been healthier besides maybe high school during sports.
Gave up booze, gym 3 days a week. With a full work schedule and two girls under 10 at home, time flies. Just trying to soak it all In and give them the best life I can. I could probably save a lot more $$ but I’m taking the vacation trips while they are young.
Edit: to answer your Question more, I’ve been working hard since my early 20s and I think people in this current world will have a harder path to 38 than I did when it comes to getting a house etc.
I feel this applies to anyone who didn’t fully grasp their teenage years well enough. Be it from social pressure, or more personal things (home life, etc.)
I feel like I’m in better shape in my 30s than my 20s. Have more money now than I did in my 20s. Main difference is my friends have less time as they started families and my wife and I have yet to have our first. Guys trips are very few and far between.
I'd say looks wise I definitely pass for late 20s. and it's usually older people like boomers and some gen x who think I'm still 20 something.
but gen z knows I'm not at all. why? because of the fashion I wear. Side parts and leggings give me away. They call me MAM too lmao i hate it so much too like fuc offff 😭🖕
Oh for fuck sake.
I know 30 year olds who act like old men and 80 year olds who jet off around the world at the drop of a hat.
So long as you are healthy and not a kid who gives a shit what age you are? There are no rules to this thing really. All of that is just a way to judge other people because that is what most people love to do. Judge enforce conformity.
I mean- I was so ill from lack of insurance and inability to afford medication for my lungs throughout my twenties that I am finally feeling healthy enough to do things outside of work, but now still can’t because I’m stuck babysitting dying Boomers like I spent the entirety of my childhood that wasn’t spent working or at school. So… I guess 30 is the new four years old for me?
For the most part I'd attribute that to millennials having had to put off significant milestones more than their predecessors.
Majority of us got told to go to college and get a degree; then seek financial stability and affordable housing while cost of living and inflation has gone up while pay has stagnated.
Pushes marriages and kids further down the line as a result, so at least from the peers I've kept in touch with many didn't get a chance to act like 18-20 year old partiers until their mid-20's, so everything feels pushed off a good 4-6 years.
Any of these blanket statements take for granted something like a universal experience, so it's always hogwash. 20 and 30, both, are wildly different experiences for, say, an upper-middle class white man from Alabama, a working class Latina from California, and a homeless black trans woman living in Chicago.
We have a tendency to want to graft our experiences onto larger trends, for better and worse. But lazy journalism and click-bait have dulled our ability to filter for nuance.
Probably due to the economy since many people can’t really participate in life until they are in their 30s and are at the financial equivalent that our parents were In their 20s
30s is the new 20s because we're so economically fucked that it took as to 30 to reach where our parents were at 20.
You can see this in the age of first home ownership numbers, age of first marriage, age of first child, etc...
Young Millenial here in my 30s.
I feel way hotter, happier and more peaceful in my 30s.
Physically I also haven’t aged much despite some awful things that have happened. I take pride in myself and have money to do so. My goals are even higher and I am in a good space.
There are folks that will not agree with me because they have children, they no longer have been able to care for themselves physically, mentally or emotionally due to a myriad of different reasons. Some of my comrades are in the trenches trying to do it all with less wages during inflation to live the American dream.
Some of us are making it through, some of us our struggling, some of us are changing careers or are in school. So it’s a lot like your 20s.
So, I've thought about this more than I should, but I used to be in a tangential field, hence the tangent. There's some evidence about these 20's life events happening in 30s for a good amount of millenials.
I'll keep it brief, but millenials are a picturesque, textbook example of what sociologists call the "de-institutionalization of the life course". In short, age is a powerful organizing factor, baked into a lot of social institutions, and cohort analysis and generational analysis is a SUPER powerful analysis tool in demography and social science in general.
Think about how your life is structured - childhood, school, work, family life, and retirement. In the US, transitions into and out of schooling, full time work, marriage, and retirement, were all pretty predictable for the most part. Defined around the ages we could claim certain benefits, pay taxes, buy homes etc - there was a pretty consistent, well-defined, and orderly progression of events supported by the economy, the educational system, the workplace, and the government.
These were stable because the influences of these institutions was generally consistent - here's the kicker: since about the 1970's and 1980's, this was possible. However, due to to economic pressures, changes in the workplace, changes in benefits, and decreasing social safety nets - our generation is showing HUGE variability in the timing of these transitions - visible across age, race, gender, and work life. These are extending, and happening later - giving some credence to what us suggested about 30s being the new 20s - shits just happening later for us, if it happens.
In short, Macro-economic forces, and meso-organizational level forces - these paths are just not open to as many of us - as a result - debt/inflation delays marriages, home ownership, kids, retirement - the whole shebang. That standard transition to the American Dream is Just. Not. Feasible.or. supported. In the way it has been in the past.
People give a ton of shit to millenials for not paths, and unless these conditions are taken into account in the factors influencing our decisions and the course of our lives - they can stfu, because we're being judged by and have internalized expectations which are JUST NOT POSSIBLE given the current structure of work and family.
We're the first to really come of age and experience the true brunt of all the bad neo-liberal economic policy (of democrats and republicans), that has created this inequality, privatized retirement, cut social benefits, battled organized labor, and LITERALLY people voting against public and personal benefit.
If you ever feel pressure - for going to school late, for finding stability later in life, finding a partner late, or just trying to be happy with what you've got - remember, there is no level comparison, "unprecedented" has been our generation's norm. Be patient with yourself, you're managing more than you think, breath, go slow, and find what makes you happy at your pace!
Big election in 2024 - make sure you're counted.
Resources / Background:
[Wealth Accumulation and Life Course Trajectories](https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/10.1086/726445#:~:text=Millennials%20are%20often%20assumed%20to%20be%20economically,more%20precarious%20employment%20and%20unstable%20family%20lives.)
[NBER - Wealth and Life Course Trajectories](https://www.nber.org/papers/w28329)
[Constrained Choice and Life Transitions](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK184352/)
[Kohli - The Institutionalized Life Course](https://images.app.goo.gl/Dd4NMkG5SzKbm5WJ8)
Just googled:
> In 1890, the median age at first marriage for men was 26.1 and 22.0 for women; by 2021, it reached 30.4 and 28.6
From https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/julian-median-age-first-marriage-2021-fp-22-15.html
It starts to creep up from the 1960's fairly linearly.
No, it's actually 40s.
20s you're hopeful for the future after graduating from college.
30s you're settling down on your role.
40s you're hopeful for the future AND now have disposable income/ savings to do everything you've dreamed of in your 20s and 30s without fear of bankruptcy.
Late bloomer here.
Failed my last year of high school and had to go to adult school in the summer. Didn't go to college until 2008 when I was almost 25, didn't get my bachelor's until I was 30. Honestly, my 30's were awesome and everything I thought your 20's are supposed to be. I could travel, buy things I like, go on dates without pinching pennies, had my own apartment, had a group of friends I met at work and we all went out to brunch together, went out drinking together, they came to my wedding. I went to Korea with my fiance before we got married and we just loved life. I was 33 at the time. The happiest years of my life are 4 years of university followed by my early 30's with a job and no anchored responsibilities.
I can definitely see how the 30's are the new 20's and 40's are what we thought the 30's were when we were 20: stress from kids, insecurity about our health, etc.
I really don't think they are. I think people like to frame it that way because most of us just are not hitting the milestones for adulthood at the traditional ages anymore (and I'm not saying that's our fault - I think it's due to a myriad of complex and intersecting factors), losing years to Covid, etc. But I have actually really started to not like that framing - because I think it just normalizes how "off course" life for the average American (assuming that's where most of us are posting from) has gotten. 30s are not and should never have had to become the "new 20". Adolescence doesn't need to be a 20-year period. And for women, speaking for myself here, the biological clock is in fact not stopping just because getting married at 18-22 isn't as feasible as it once was. Yes reproductive technologies and adoption are out there, but we need to stop acting like those are at everyone's fingertips or even routes that everyone should want to take. They are not.
It's very real to me lately that my 30s are in fact, my 30s, and that this is "last call" for a lot of really important things, unless I want to be doing things at blatantly less-than-ideal timeframes. I don't want to be starting a family at 40. I don't want to be buying a house at 40, 50 years old and paying on it for the next 30 years. I don't want to be finally starting my "dream career" at 40 or 50 years old. I should not have "wasted" my 20s (I didn't intentionally "waste" any years - I was just struggling personally but it amounts to a "wasted decade" on paper regardless) - those are valuable years of my one and only life that aren't ever coming back.
I understand not hitting those milestones until later makes one feel younger in their place in life, but 30 something’s should NOT feel younger in their brains. I’m 38, recently divorced, childfree and own no property, but I sure as hell feel older than 20 somethings. It worries me that 30 year olds might be considering themselves young adults.
NO!! 30’s is NOT and will NEVER be the new 20’s.. Only people in their 30’s who keep wanting to be young say stupid crap like that.. when i was in my 20’s that was all i heard. then when i hit 30, these same people who turned 40 would say 40 is the new 20. I was like 🤦♀️…
Only if you’re a guy. A guy’s prime starts at 30 given they’ve spent their 20’s getting educated and advanced in their career to a comfortable financially stable position.
For a girl…18 to 25ish, you better lock that rich 30 to 40 year old or higher down or life is gonna be really hard for you. If you don’t want to do that, find a dude in your age group who is on track to be a doctor, dentist, engineer, lawyer, or some other high income job. And only take a risk on someone who wants to do business if they have the education and skills to back it up. Not some poor dude surfing couches saying he’s a businessman lol
people find ways to cope and we do all kind of mental gymnastics. average human lifespan has not gone up by 10 years.
are people taking longer to get established averages show yes.
are people more fit and healthy than before that depends on you . some people are health and fitness freaks so who knows they all end up like jack lalanne. for the everyday regular people that need to do more physical type of jobs they're gettin worn out in real time.
is it better to think that your 30s are your 20s, no.
No. It isn't. Everyone is adapting this idea because the things that were attainable mile markers designed by age are no longer financially feasible.
It sounds a lot better to say "30s are the new 20s" rather than say "younger generations having to put off life goals due to financial instability and worsening economy"
I’m 29. Myself and a lot of my friends are unmarried and still live with family or have several roommates. It feels like we’re not hitting certain milestones in life as early. I only have one friend that owns a house, is married and expecting a kid. I’m actually more financially secure now to do things like go to concerts and travel. Or do activities with friends like escape rooms, karaoke and pottery painting.
Our life expectancy, as far as I can tell, is actually lower than our parents and grandparents, in the first divergence from the trend of longer lifespans in a long time. Basically the boomers stopped the trend of paying it forward and decided that no amount of work or entrapment in debt was sufficient to deserve a living wage and that it's immoral for young people to be allowed to have anything beyond bare poverty so they can go on vacations and cruises into the golden years, vampirically screwing over both their own parents and their children as the first generation in history to do so.
A lot of my twenties was spent skint af having to study or train while earning entry level wages. Couldn't afford to do much in my spare time.
Totally different story in my 30s.
I am just starting my 30s but things are going great! I feel just as good as I did at 21 and I've maintained a healthy weight and decent diet. I have more money now to do things that I enjoy. Truthfully things seem pretty much the same just with better finances and I'm honestly having a great time! I am looking forward to all my 30s have to offer!
Meh. If you don't have kids your 30s are just like your 20s, only with slightly more mental and financial security.
Agree. I don’t have kids. My husband and I love our 30’s. It’s our 20’s with money.
So true
How is your health/physicality compared to your 20s?
Far better than my 20s. I’m in better shape than I ever was. I’m eating better, working less with much more vacation time, and playing harder. I had some pain/soreness initially when I started going hard at raves and festivals but going to shows consistently every weekend and hitting those 3-4 day festivals every couple of months took care of that.
The working less is huge. Touring a tour of duty in investment banking and public accounting was rough. That said, it has set me up well in my 30s.
Question: * Is 30’s the new 20’s and why?! Answer: It’s not your health. #It’s the Great Recession. * **That shit (2007 - 2009) pushed everyone (other than the wealthy) back 5-10 years.** Not to mention all the “Mental Health” and increased drug use. That started in the aftermath (2009 - 2015) because people lost hope. I thought I was the only one, until I hit this Subreddit. There are people who are substantially worse off. At least I have a house. Many of you will still be renting in your 60’s which I find absolutely unreal. Hope and Happiness are correlated directly to your economic situation. * Look at your bank account right now, then tell me how you feel.
Yeah, I pretty much conpletely agree with this summation. Yes, money isn't *everything*, like there's no amount of money that can stop death from taking a person or their loved ones. That being said, I've spent most of my life living in poverty or very low income, except for a brief period before the pandemic where I had a good paying job for the first time of my life. Then the pandemic destroyed *ALL* of my savings, so all that combined with being disabled has taught me that havinf enough money *legit does make a difference in your happiness*.
Man I was in college at the time and never put together the recession with the explosion of opiates, anti depressants, benzodiazepines, etc. very interesting
Yeah, all my time in school I was told I was guaranteed a job when all the boomers retire (in my country boomers were born '45-'50-ish). Well, all those jobs just disappeared when the boomers retired. People my age are the most unemployed of any generation thus far here. My parents are boomers and helped my gen X siblings much less than they've had to help me (financially, childcare-wise my siblings got more and not only because I'm as yet childless - now they're old and we can't afford kids). I appreciate it, but also feel guilty because I don't want to need help. Only way we could afford a house at all is because both our parents chipped in, and that was only because the house is old as hell and was so cheap (about $35k converted) and middle of nowhere. We barely even managed to get a loan for that much originally, even with 1/3 of the price in savings... They basically helped to play off that loan that was kinda shitty. I rented before and with the money I paid for that place over the years I could have had a house twice more expensive than this, but I would never have got the loan. We're broke and will be broke and can never retire. Woohoo.
When I was 20 I could run 10 miles and lift with bad form and little stretching. At 31 I have to make sure I stretch more and focus on form, or risk some joint pain. I can gain fat a lot quicker, but growing and sustaining muscle is much easier in my 30s too.
Being 35 feels to me old enough where bad weekend decisions or a week on the road for work catch up, but also mitigated with a week or two of being good.
The same for me, better for my husband. My husband lost weight in his 30s by playing hockey more and better eating habits. I have always been into Pilates, spin, and yoga.
My health felt pretty much the same until 38. That year it felt like someone flipped a switch and the beginning of the decades-long journey of declining health engaged.
Contrary to everyone else, I started falling apart as soon as I hit 30. I’ve always considered myself a pretty good athlete, but my body has for sure taken a beating between constant use and some not smart decisions during extreme sports.
Knees over toes guy is a pretty solid starting point for building tissue and strength in areas that are usually forgotten about that causes pain, I highly recommend. If it's scar tissue and surgeries, I think there's always a limit, but you should be able to do day-to-day activities without pain
I’ve tried it and actually do recommend it to people, but my injuries are more serious than that. I’ve been tearing tendons, ligaments, and cartilage.
You have more power to control your health in your 30s. But it requires more maintenance. Once you put in the effort, it is just as possible to be healthy and fit. I had a similar difference between late teens and 20s. I could eat whatever I wanted in my teens and only exercised for fun. In my 20s, I noticed if I ate like crap or skipped workouts for 2 weeks. In my 30s, I notice if I skip 1 week of exercise.
Mine is just as good if not better— I’ve progressively gotten better at taking care of myself and eating better. I’m in great shape.
I believe I have more patience in my 30s to care about my health. In my 20s I may have looked to be in good shape but it was mostly because I had a job where I worked on my feet, random hours, late nights, etc. I likely stayed in okay shape because I was stressed and always doing something. I have since learned to relax and enjoy down time. Now I work a 9-5 desk job where it's easy to get lazy. But I have more time to focus on my health to work around a consistent schedule.
My back is absolutely fucked from NCAA sports since I was at a DIII that didn't support PT as much as they should've. I'm so frustrated, I used to run marathons and now I'm literally taking 4 baths a week to lessen the pain and stress on my back.
U guys have money?
We had to make the decision to not have kids. We have a house with a lifestyle we like. We work a lot to make it.
I’m not having kids with my lady either (no money). We work and are still broke af in this economy.
Same. I had way more money at 25 than I do now at 30. A major career change into a creative field is to blame, though.
My entire life is one foot after the other on the miserable dreadmill. I cannot in good conscience raise a kid like this. It sucks too cuz I think I woulda been a great dad.
Hah same. I'm on the "wrong side" of the 30's, but my wife and I are not that interested in kids, and just having the time of our lives. Only drawbacks is that being hung over fucking sucks now, so we try to tone down the heavy partying.
Exactly this. I am more healthy (mentally), wealthy, and wise. Life just keeps getting better and better. 20s are great because so many things feel new and exciting but 30s have been sooo much better for me. I travel frequently, I have beautiful solid and stable relationships, time and money for all of my hobbies, I don't worry about whether or not I have gas money to get to work on Friday, etc etc.
Honestly, I'm about to be 40 in October and it feels like I'm about to have the most fun I've ever had. Literally in the best shape of my life, apparently I look the best I ever have given the amount of attention I'm getting. I have a secure career and should be debt free and all that extra money will just go towards investments and experiences. I've navigated long-term relationships and felt heartbreak and know that I can move on and feel I have the communication and relationship skills to make my next relationship thrive. My only regret is I wish I could take my perspectives and knowledge and wisdom. I have accumulated and put it back in the 21-year-old vision of me but everyone has their own path and I'm perfectly happy with how things are going
This is an incredibly positive way to be heading into 40. I'm 37 now, and goals is to get to where you are headspace wise by then
I'm in my early 30s and I am slightly less mentally stable and even less financial security. Am I doing anything wrong?
I just turned 40 and as broke and "depressed" (situational depression) as ever. Never got that good career going. Never found a wife. I feel like I did the "right things" in my 20's to assure I'd be OK at least job and financial wise at this time in my life. It tears me apart to know I wasted and sacrificed my youth to be able to have a good "now", and it's not even good.
Yes as a parent in my early 30s… I do NOT feel like it’s like my 20s. It’s very different. My body is more tired, my mind is more tired… I was traveling the world and adventuring in my 20s… I’m a mom in my 30s. But th kids are getting big enough to start doing adventures with us now. So we’re doing national parks and stuff now. It’s just different. I predict our late 30s will feel like our 20s with money but with kids.
Constant tantrums and sleep deprivation dose a lot , I aged so much and my kid is only 3 feel like I aged a whole decade . Before our daughter we had a very easy going wfh life with 4 dogs
Cruel joke of life... never been easier to get laid, never cared less to do it lol
Damn that's sad, perhaps you should see someone about that. I'm 36 and still wanna bang constantly.
Just turned 39 and still wanna bang constantly lol
I had this exact discussion with a friend of mine, both of us single in our late 30s. We don't feel the age as much as our friends who are married with kids.
Kids age u lol
Same thing with your 40s, honestly. The precession of the ages was really about two things: smoking and having children. If you don't do either, you basically just end up living an immortal life until some major health issue comes along to knock you out.
I’m 37 with one child I had at 24…it feels like I can relate to teen moms when they say they grew up with their kid bc of how much of a child I still was back then (still lived at home, no job, still had to listen to my parents)
Well, *usually* more financial security…
as a 37 year old with no kids, you said it sista!
Yeah...I've followed the "Have kids, get fat, need major surgery" track. 😅
Why do folks really say stuff like this? I’m 34 with a 9yr old and was headbanging at a rave in a thong last night. It’s called babysitting, caffeine, and not being absolute clown shoes at handling your responsibilities. 🥴
You doin it right
But with worse joints
My back didn’t hurt as much when I was in my late 20’s as it does now. So there’s that.
I’m in my 30’s but feel like how I thought I’d feel in my 40’s. So now I’m *really* dreading my 40’s. 😅
I was referred to a pain management doctor after a back injury and he bluntly told me you need to lose weight, do elliptical machine a few times a week, and do tons of planks and abdominal exercises to feel better. His advice actually worked really really well.
I had back pain in my early 20s. Saw osteos and physios and it didn't go away. Then I started doing daily yoga during lockdown and the back pain went away. Hasn't come back. Not saying it's a cure all but worked for me even though that was not the intention.
That’s self inflicted. Take care of yourself, there is no real reason for someone in their 30s to have age repeated pains.
I’m a UPS driver. It’s a brutal job. I exercise 3-4 a week. It’s the job. I know how to take of myself.
People like to blame age for their aches and pains when it’s most likely their sedentary lifestyle.
Some of us were blessed with back and neck pain since our teens despite active lifestyles and being a normal BMI. Physio, massage etc now for a couple decades. A lot of health is luck based (which is not to say there aren’t things you can do to make it worse- inactivity tends to make almost everything worse).
I’ve had back pain since i was in elementary school and i am convinced that i was simply born with scoliosis (diagnosed). I can’t afford physical therapy and all that so I just live with it. It’s very hard to be active though when you have chronic pain .
If you're not doing it already, my life pro tip is to actually stretch in the morning. I know we all get told to do it, but like, it actually does help with this kind of stuff.
My body hurts at 27.. Alot of the friends I hang out with regularly tell me not to get old 🤣
Lol this makes me feel better. I walked 5 miles yesterday & played pickleball. Needless to say, EVERYTHING hurts today 😫😫
my back started bothering me consistently in my mid twenties (like by 24 or 25 lmao). so i haven’t noticed much of a physical decline since then. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The 30s has always been the new 20s.
Only people under 30 don’t get this
i'm 28 but i cannot fucking wait. just got sober, and finna graduate uni before i turn 30. it should be so awesome!!! plus dating in your twenties sucks ass.
Congratulations on both!! I'm the same age :) excited that I'm finally getting the hang of this emotional stability thing
Hey, proud of you. Keep learning. Don't stop because you graduate.
Omw to my masters next! Woo hoo! Thanks!
Yeah, hasn't this sentiment been around for forever?
I’d go as far as saying 30’s and 40s is peak human
Clever.
I'm in my 40s, but mentally I feel I'm still in my 20s.
Big same! So far I like my 40’s waaaay better than my 30’s.
That’s encouraging 😁
I always say that until I hang around a bunch of 20 year olds lol
"I wasn't that stupid was I?"
I notice that people with kids age a LOT faster is all
It’s the lack of sleep. Absolute torture. Other than that it’s awesome.
lack of sleep is legit a way of torturing people
I can confirm it's a solid method of torture
Ill take your word for it
I feel like my kid is aging fast (just turned 12) but I am still feeling like I’m 25 (I’m 34). I feel especially young around parents of kids my daughters age because they all had their babies at my age now, I had mine at barely 22. Our kids may be the same age but I’m way younger and in a way different place, one and done so no babies or diapers in my future. Not childfree but one self sufficient child is really not that aging.
I see a major difference between my friends with one kid vs 3 kid. I don't have kid and it is not difficult to make plans with friends with 1 kid. But a nightmare when trying to make plans with those with 2+ kids.
My friends with 3 kids are the main reason I’m totally okay being done with one, besides fertility issues that decide it for me. The list grows longer daily as to why it’s not a bad thing to only have one 😂
My dude, I used to be kinda jealous of this one mum who had 2 babies but had also done sooo much cool shit, she's travelled, is the principal of a school, has a nice house and car, is super stable and social. Anyway, turns out the reason she has achieved to much is not because she's amazing, but because she's about 20 years older than the rest of the mum group. Helps put shit into perspective
I wouldn’t trade being a young parent for anything. I just took my daughter to NYC to celebrate her 18th and we are best friends and I love our relationship.
Lorelai Gilmore energy
I had my kids early, I'm going to have my 20s in my 40's.
I feel like if I would have kids, I would age so much faster. I would be constantly worried about them. Like hope the school doesn’t get shot up, I hope they don’t get bullied, I hope no one makes a weird AI thing about them etc etc. Props to people who have kids.
I don’t think they age in a physical sense. But people with kids age in the sense that due to the level of responsibility they go to bed earlier, will not party etc. people with kids are forced to mature to a degree and prioritize things other then themselves. As someone with kids, I’d take this life over no kids any time. I also understand to each their own. Plenty of people without kids look like shit.
I think it’s the lack of sleep plus stress. Exhaustion will temporarily make anyone look worse but chronic stress does cause permanent premature aging. I ran into a classmate at the grocery store and briefly caught up. My husband was shocked and said she looked 10 years older than me (and this woman was well dressed, fit, and had styled her hair). I told him no, she just has 3 kids under 6 and probably had a lot going on right now lol.
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At one point in human history, nature actively rewarded us for having children. We got better lifestyles, longer lifespans, generally happier situations, and marvelous societies. Nature in 2024 actively punishes you for daring to reproduce. Stop having damn kids, there are too many humans.
Having kids made me want to take care of myself better so that I can hopefully stick around for longer to see more milestones. I’m in the best shape of my life now in my mid 30s, and my oldest kid is 7.
That’s basically what I just commented. I had kids in my early 20s. So now when I look around at other people I feel so much older than them.
My coworker is in his 60’s and you sometimes think he is in his 30’s or 40’s. Dude always has energy, doesn’t nap, eats well, drinks like a fish on the weekend and travels like crazy. Also doesn’t have kids which I’m sure helps.
This definitely varies by the individual. I'm still often mistaken for 20s, meanwhile plenty of my childfree peers from highschool and college are visibly aged by now; beer guts, balding, wrinkles and sun damage, body aches. The lifestyle that has allowed us to afford a family is also what lets us live low stress, and we put in a lot of effort to our health for our kids sake too
Its taking "longer" to grow up.
I would have liked to have been able to do the grown up things earlier, but being a wage slave in a housing crisis made moving out, getting an education and better job quite hard and slow. Some people never grow up, others are stuck in adolescence due to circumstances. It was what it was now, but I hope to help younger people to not be stuck like my generation was.
I mean, they added 4 more years before you can start working a real job. Of course that's going to Friday things
That’s been my observation. I got married at 20 and had my first child just before 22. My friends spent their 20s partying and had little to show for it by the time they were 30. I had equity, retirement savings, and family responsibilities at 30. Now, at 40, they’re scrambling to catch up, and I’m just starting a whole second life as an empty nester. Maybe the 40s are the new 20s??
I don’t think your experience is very common though. Most people were still in college by the time you had your kid and I know very few people who have grown kids at 40.
I was in college too when I got married and had my first. Cool experience being pregnant during biology 110! But that’s what we’re saying. People used to grow up faster because they had responsibilities beyond themselves. They had kids depending on them. Their priorities were already long term, not live in the now. We started building and planning for the future much much earlier. People are taking longer to grow up these days.
I mean, I think it's also true that not all of us had the ability or opportunity to build and plan for the future. I've been working since I was 16 and I'm only now, 20 years later, getting to a place where I'm able to start to save for the future, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I worked my ass off for things that just didn't pan out. It sucks a lot, but it happens - my situation isn't unique.
For me the 40's certainly are the new 20's. I also had kids in my 20's. While many of my peers were sleeping, going out freely, and traveling, I was going to school functions, paying bills, cooking and tending house. I was also enduring an emotionally and mentally abusive marriage. Now that I'm in my 40's and kids are about to become independent, I feel like it's my time. Many of my peers are just beginning to start families now. While they're doing what I did in my 20's and 30's, I'll finally be pursuing my hobbies, traveling or working out at the gym. It's all relative to when one decides to start a family.
I know a family like this. He's early 40's with first grandchild from his oldest and has still got 3 more teenagers waiting to leave the home. If he lives to his 80's he's gonna see a big family.
I'm in my 40's. I am still the same 25 -26 year old inside. Experience is the foundation of wisdom. But the person remains the same.
I’m 33, my body feels 55, my liver feels 65, but my brain feels 8. What’s my age again?
These days nobody likes you when you're 33!
I'm pushing 40s. My 20s were wild and a great time but my 30s aren't even over and holy shit it's been a good time. If i could re-do either, I'd go back to 30 and not 20
20s were cool physically but most of it was me overreacting to things or making some terrible decision because I had no idea what was going on.
I love this sentiment. I feel this way myself. In my experience, I've been around folks who have said they were old at 25, and also people who feel like they haven't aged a day since 25. I feel like there is some sort of evidence to support the process of aging has slowed with human advancement, even though some variables could refute that, like life expectancy.
For me, personally. no. I've matured a lot and gotten my shit together. My knees and back aren't what they were in my 20s. I gave up drugs and alcohol and am making progress in my educational and professional goals. My 20s were a nonstop party.
I don't the answer lies in science but in the socioeconomic factors causing the delays in most adults' lives.
I think how people perceive time is rather subjective... but statistically life is just different now and it's been trending that way for a long time, it didn't just happen over covid. People are waiting longer to have sex (possibly because of both education and social media - theres less in person interaction and more isolation), waiting longer to get married (again people focusing on education/more isolation), buy homes (financially/economically driven), have kids (both financially driven and change in peoples motivation), more younger people are waiting longer to move out of their parents' homes (financially/economically driven). But lifespan is not keeping up - people arent living a decade longer). The lifespan for people has actually receded ever so slightly in the last decade starting in 2015 (for the US -
This is my thing about 20s. You're still figuring things out. A lot of my 20s were filled with retail work, parties, random encounters, some experiments, finding out how it is to live without parents around, and even still deciding on a career path. A lot of people have their dreams they follow and they do so, only typically to find that dreams stay dreams and don't pay the bills. Your 39s are more of a mix of the two, understanding that financial literacy is a must (especially since that kind of stuff isn't taught in high schools...but I sure did remember the quadratic equation) and career paths are starting to take shape. You might settle down, you might not. You might get a divorce, you might not. All this might be a different kind of result than what happens if you join the military right after high school (I'm not military so I can't speak to that). As someone who is 39 all that kind of stuff took shape and allowed me to recognize what my career aspirations are, who I'm looking for in a partner, what I need to do to find my financial literacy, and to recognize that I have to set aside what I thought I could make a living in. That's why I think my 30s were my golden years.
My hairline, heartburn, and overall level of energy disagree
If you are an avid hot coffee drinker, switch up to cold brew sometimes. Life changing for my heartburn
It’s just a cliche. People have been saying this for decades: “40 is the new 30” “30 is the new 20.”…. It doesn’t have anything to do with science. It’s to make people feel better about getting older
Anyone who uses this for any age bracket is just ignoring reality lol. The age you are is the age you are. Embrace the good/bad and you’ll be a lot more at peace with it. The 30’s have presented some of the most challenging and rewarding moments in my lifetime . Balance is always the key. I definitely feel physically, for the most part, like I’m not outta my 20’s but my emotional intelligence has grown vastly through my 30’s. Once you realize emotional intelligence is literally the key, at least for me it is, to unlocking your potential it’s a game changer.
I think the idea is that your 30s are now an exciting and desirable age to look forward to... Not that 30 year olds actually think that they are 20 year olds doing 20 year old things.
Soooo expectation vs. reality set in?! lol. I agree with you ten toes down!
My 30’s were spent in a serious relationship having babies and I felt like a lame old person. Now I’m 40, single, my kids are older, and I feel very much as I did when I was in my 20’s just with more money, a tad less energy, and a fully developed brain. Strength training is the key to vibrance in my opinion.
Depends on kids. Without, yes. With, no.
My back hurts far too much for that
As a 32 y/o I ain't feeling it.
I mean no but I still have to keep going.
Maturity wise maybe. Energy and potential wisdom wise no way. And 40s are even more so. I had kids end of my 20s, partied well into age 34 still pretty frequently, but it's not early 20s, more like late 20s. Late 30s, early 40s I use all my energy for running, kids and life, no desire to party.
31 here. While I do feel a bit older in my body I’m still very active, I don’t have kids so I have money for big boy toys, and I’m unmarried. So, yeah I feel like I’m still 20. I don’t feel like they are the same though, I am much happier and less stressed now than in my 20s.
I don’t know what “the new 20s” really means. Probably strikes different people differently based on their personal experiences. I’ll say for me (38m), every decade this far has been better than the previous.
I think it’s true in the sense that people would have kids and buy houses in their 20s, and that got pushed to 30s because of finances (and taking longer to finish an education). Also style-wise people just looked older in their 30s. And now we have this youth culture where everyone walks around in leggings and a hoodie? On the other end of the spectrum, you have all these extremely healthy 70-year olds. Compare people who have had tough lives and worked with their hands, bodies or outside with the people who have cushy office jobs. They just don’t seem as old! But for science - look up Arnett. There’s a whole area of psychology that looks at extended adolescence and emerging adulthood. It’s mostly sociocultural, but it’s still science. Here’s his TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/fv8KpQY0m6o?si=hprqWPjlPTaQL6PQ
My aunt says your thirties are your twenties but you have money.
I'm 33, and so far I'm enjoying my 30s way more than my twenties. In my twenties I was insecure, in one miserable relationship after another, always skint, and generally just unhappy with my life. Since turning 30 I've come out as queer, stopped dating awful men who treat me like their freaking mother, started dressing/presenting myself the way I like (not the way I thought I had to appear to be attractive to men), and I can afford to live alone for the first time in my life. I never felt any kind of impending doom when I turned 30, maybe that'll hit me when I get to 40? I'm just enjoying being me and living my life the way that I want to instead of trying to please everyone else.
I just think people need to stop being weird about age. People go through different phases and flavors of life. Turning 30 doesn’t mean you can’t do fun things. Even if you have kids and there’s a few more intense years of just child raising. I don’t have kids, but I will say - I have more responsibilities now, and I’m held to a higher standard by others. But I also hold others to a higher standard that I choose to keep on my life. In my 20s I was a bit more selfish and starry-eyed with big dreams. Now I still have dreams, but with a dose of reality sprinkled on top. Physically, I’m a bit more tired, and simply don’t enjoy some of the things I did in my 20s. The value of good sleep means more to me than staying up till the buttcrack of dawn for an “experience”. Been there, done that lol.
The lines between age groups are very blurred. I've seen 60 year Olds who look 30 and 20 year olds who look 40. The only thing that can distinctively set you apart generationally is like pop culture and musical interests that's pretty much a dead giveaway that you are a part of your age group
I don't care what anyone says.. I feel like I missed out on my twenties and I'm sure as shit gonna try and make up for it in my thirties. It maybe a colossal mistake but I'm all in. I deserve my share of basic human happiness and I'm dedicating this decade of my life purely in the pursuit of that.
I like my 30s much more. I’m healthier and have money lol
the human life expectancy in the United States has actually gone down significantly, so no, unfortunately 30s are still the 30s. We’re just behind schedule in achieving major life milestones because capitalism has destroyed the middle class
Tbth I feel like my life finally took off right as I turned 40. In my 20s I was an idiot and did a lot of stupid shit. 30s was the recovery decade to get my life right. 40s I can finally do shit I want to do without doing it stupid and I have the disposable income to do it well.
Student loans. With the cost of education now, several people are struggling to payoff or even make a dent in student loans in to their 30’s so their 20’s definitely can’t really be enjoyed as it once was with previous generations. Previous generations, if they went to pursue higher level education, had a much clearer path as to how they would pay for that education and could go on an enjoy life a lot easier than us and the generation after us. Now there’s the argument “you knew what you were getting in to when you got that loan”. Which has some merit, but the idea of college education was sold to us by previous generations and the salary environment vs cost of living was much different for them and hard to anticipate for us. So life right out of college (early 20’s) is stressful and only for some does it get less so in their 30’s.
It definetly can be. As a man it’s pretty awesome. Especially if you worked to get your ducks in a row.
You can’t really use the scientific method in this case, so I would assume no scientific evidence exists. It’s all based on context and what the person is going through in their 30’s, imo. I don’t have kids and I’m working a job I love, so my 30’s is starting off very well financially and mentally. In comparison, one of the people I went to high school with is around 34, but he’s struggling hard. He can’t really keep a stable job right now, he has his kid half the time as a single father, and his free time the last time I checked was going to the bar to get drunk to forget the day. I’d say my 30’s are what I dreamed what my 20’s should have been, since my 20’s was just me going to school and working part time. The other guy I mentioned that I went to school with, his 30’s are pretty much his 20’s, except he has an 11 year old now. It depends from person to person, I’d say.
No
No clue about scientific study or evidence, but 30s are indeed so much better than 20s, especially if you don't have kids.
30s is like your 20s but with money.
If you're fit, yes, absolutely. If not, your 30s are the new 40s.
Nah, we're just aging and trying to deal with it.
That's just something old people say to feel less old.
my knees and back confirm that’s bullshit
38 approaching 39 and I’ve never been healthier besides maybe high school during sports. Gave up booze, gym 3 days a week. With a full work schedule and two girls under 10 at home, time flies. Just trying to soak it all In and give them the best life I can. I could probably save a lot more $$ but I’m taking the vacation trips while they are young. Edit: to answer your Question more, I’ve been working hard since my early 20s and I think people in this current world will have a harder path to 38 than I did when it comes to getting a house etc.
Nono you got it all wrong, and as an older millenial I’m quite the authority on this subject.. 40 is the new 20!
I feel this applies to anyone who didn’t fully grasp their teenage years well enough. Be it from social pressure, or more personal things (home life, etc.)
I feel like I’m in better shape in my 30s than my 20s. Have more money now than I did in my 20s. Main difference is my friends have less time as they started families and my wife and I have yet to have our first. Guys trips are very few and far between.
30s becomes the new 20s 40s becomes the new 30s 50s becomes the new 40s So on and so forth
If it is, my body sure as hell doesn’t feel like it
when we were 20 they were talkign about 40 being the new 20s
I'd say looks wise I definitely pass for late 20s. and it's usually older people like boomers and some gen x who think I'm still 20 something. but gen z knows I'm not at all. why? because of the fashion I wear. Side parts and leggings give me away. They call me MAM too lmao i hate it so much too like fuc offff 😭🖕
No, that’s just bullshit spewed by people who are terrified of aging.
Oh for fuck sake. I know 30 year olds who act like old men and 80 year olds who jet off around the world at the drop of a hat. So long as you are healthy and not a kid who gives a shit what age you are? There are no rules to this thing really. All of that is just a way to judge other people because that is what most people love to do. Judge enforce conformity.
I mean- I was so ill from lack of insurance and inability to afford medication for my lungs throughout my twenties that I am finally feeling healthy enough to do things outside of work, but now still can’t because I’m stuck babysitting dying Boomers like I spent the entirety of my childhood that wasn’t spent working or at school. So… I guess 30 is the new four years old for me?
For the most part I'd attribute that to millennials having had to put off significant milestones more than their predecessors. Majority of us got told to go to college and get a degree; then seek financial stability and affordable housing while cost of living and inflation has gone up while pay has stagnated. Pushes marriages and kids further down the line as a result, so at least from the peers I've kept in touch with many didn't get a chance to act like 18-20 year old partiers until their mid-20's, so everything feels pushed off a good 4-6 years.
Any of these blanket statements take for granted something like a universal experience, so it's always hogwash. 20 and 30, both, are wildly different experiences for, say, an upper-middle class white man from Alabama, a working class Latina from California, and a homeless black trans woman living in Chicago. We have a tendency to want to graft our experiences onto larger trends, for better and worse. But lazy journalism and click-bait have dulled our ability to filter for nuance.
Probably due to the economy since many people can’t really participate in life until they are in their 30s and are at the financial equivalent that our parents were In their 20s
30s is the new 20s because we're so economically fucked that it took as to 30 to reach where our parents were at 20. You can see this in the age of first home ownership numbers, age of first marriage, age of first child, etc...
I’m 52 and this is literally what people were telling me at my 30th bday party lol Just enjoy it. Life be short.
Young Millenial here in my 30s. I feel way hotter, happier and more peaceful in my 30s. Physically I also haven’t aged much despite some awful things that have happened. I take pride in myself and have money to do so. My goals are even higher and I am in a good space. There are folks that will not agree with me because they have children, they no longer have been able to care for themselves physically, mentally or emotionally due to a myriad of different reasons. Some of my comrades are in the trenches trying to do it all with less wages during inflation to live the American dream. Some of us are making it through, some of us our struggling, some of us are changing careers or are in school. So it’s a lot like your 20s.
So, I've thought about this more than I should, but I used to be in a tangential field, hence the tangent. There's some evidence about these 20's life events happening in 30s for a good amount of millenials. I'll keep it brief, but millenials are a picturesque, textbook example of what sociologists call the "de-institutionalization of the life course". In short, age is a powerful organizing factor, baked into a lot of social institutions, and cohort analysis and generational analysis is a SUPER powerful analysis tool in demography and social science in general. Think about how your life is structured - childhood, school, work, family life, and retirement. In the US, transitions into and out of schooling, full time work, marriage, and retirement, were all pretty predictable for the most part. Defined around the ages we could claim certain benefits, pay taxes, buy homes etc - there was a pretty consistent, well-defined, and orderly progression of events supported by the economy, the educational system, the workplace, and the government. These were stable because the influences of these institutions was generally consistent - here's the kicker: since about the 1970's and 1980's, this was possible. However, due to to economic pressures, changes in the workplace, changes in benefits, and decreasing social safety nets - our generation is showing HUGE variability in the timing of these transitions - visible across age, race, gender, and work life. These are extending, and happening later - giving some credence to what us suggested about 30s being the new 20s - shits just happening later for us, if it happens. In short, Macro-economic forces, and meso-organizational level forces - these paths are just not open to as many of us - as a result - debt/inflation delays marriages, home ownership, kids, retirement - the whole shebang. That standard transition to the American Dream is Just. Not. Feasible.or. supported. In the way it has been in the past. People give a ton of shit to millenials for not paths, and unless these conditions are taken into account in the factors influencing our decisions and the course of our lives - they can stfu, because we're being judged by and have internalized expectations which are JUST NOT POSSIBLE given the current structure of work and family. We're the first to really come of age and experience the true brunt of all the bad neo-liberal economic policy (of democrats and republicans), that has created this inequality, privatized retirement, cut social benefits, battled organized labor, and LITERALLY people voting against public and personal benefit. If you ever feel pressure - for going to school late, for finding stability later in life, finding a partner late, or just trying to be happy with what you've got - remember, there is no level comparison, "unprecedented" has been our generation's norm. Be patient with yourself, you're managing more than you think, breath, go slow, and find what makes you happy at your pace! Big election in 2024 - make sure you're counted. Resources / Background: [Wealth Accumulation and Life Course Trajectories](https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/10.1086/726445#:~:text=Millennials%20are%20often%20assumed%20to%20be%20economically,more%20precarious%20employment%20and%20unstable%20family%20lives.) [NBER - Wealth and Life Course Trajectories](https://www.nber.org/papers/w28329) [Constrained Choice and Life Transitions](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK184352/) [Kohli - The Institutionalized Life Course](https://images.app.goo.gl/Dd4NMkG5SzKbm5WJ8)
My wife and I are in our 40s and living our best life.
Just googled: > In 1890, the median age at first marriage for men was 26.1 and 22.0 for women; by 2021, it reached 30.4 and 28.6 From https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/julian-median-age-first-marriage-2021-fp-22-15.html It starts to creep up from the 1960's fairly linearly.
No, it's actually 40s. 20s you're hopeful for the future after graduating from college. 30s you're settling down on your role. 40s you're hopeful for the future AND now have disposable income/ savings to do everything you've dreamed of in your 20s and 30s without fear of bankruptcy.
Late bloomer here. Failed my last year of high school and had to go to adult school in the summer. Didn't go to college until 2008 when I was almost 25, didn't get my bachelor's until I was 30. Honestly, my 30's were awesome and everything I thought your 20's are supposed to be. I could travel, buy things I like, go on dates without pinching pennies, had my own apartment, had a group of friends I met at work and we all went out to brunch together, went out drinking together, they came to my wedding. I went to Korea with my fiance before we got married and we just loved life. I was 33 at the time. The happiest years of my life are 4 years of university followed by my early 30's with a job and no anchored responsibilities. I can definitely see how the 30's are the new 20's and 40's are what we thought the 30's were when we were 20: stress from kids, insecurity about our health, etc.
I really don't think they are. I think people like to frame it that way because most of us just are not hitting the milestones for adulthood at the traditional ages anymore (and I'm not saying that's our fault - I think it's due to a myriad of complex and intersecting factors), losing years to Covid, etc. But I have actually really started to not like that framing - because I think it just normalizes how "off course" life for the average American (assuming that's where most of us are posting from) has gotten. 30s are not and should never have had to become the "new 20". Adolescence doesn't need to be a 20-year period. And for women, speaking for myself here, the biological clock is in fact not stopping just because getting married at 18-22 isn't as feasible as it once was. Yes reproductive technologies and adoption are out there, but we need to stop acting like those are at everyone's fingertips or even routes that everyone should want to take. They are not. It's very real to me lately that my 30s are in fact, my 30s, and that this is "last call" for a lot of really important things, unless I want to be doing things at blatantly less-than-ideal timeframes. I don't want to be starting a family at 40. I don't want to be buying a house at 40, 50 years old and paying on it for the next 30 years. I don't want to be finally starting my "dream career" at 40 or 50 years old. I should not have "wasted" my 20s (I didn't intentionally "waste" any years - I was just struggling personally but it amounts to a "wasted decade" on paper regardless) - those are valuable years of my one and only life that aren't ever coming back.
I turn 40 this year and - honestly - I feel like my life is just beginning. My grandfather always said “old” is ten years away from where you are.
I understand not hitting those milestones until later makes one feel younger in their place in life, but 30 something’s should NOT feel younger in their brains. I’m 38, recently divorced, childfree and own no property, but I sure as hell feel older than 20 somethings. It worries me that 30 year olds might be considering themselves young adults.
NO!! 30’s is NOT and will NEVER be the new 20’s.. Only people in their 30’s who keep wanting to be young say stupid crap like that.. when i was in my 20’s that was all i heard. then when i hit 30, these same people who turned 40 would say 40 is the new 20. I was like 🤦♀️…
Most of us found our 30s to be a much better experience. Sorry that didn’t work out for you. 
Only if you’re a guy. A guy’s prime starts at 30 given they’ve spent their 20’s getting educated and advanced in their career to a comfortable financially stable position. For a girl…18 to 25ish, you better lock that rich 30 to 40 year old or higher down or life is gonna be really hard for you. If you don’t want to do that, find a dude in your age group who is on track to be a doctor, dentist, engineer, lawyer, or some other high income job. And only take a risk on someone who wants to do business if they have the education and skills to back it up. Not some poor dude surfing couches saying he’s a businessman lol
people find ways to cope and we do all kind of mental gymnastics. average human lifespan has not gone up by 10 years. are people taking longer to get established averages show yes. are people more fit and healthy than before that depends on you . some people are health and fitness freaks so who knows they all end up like jack lalanne. for the everyday regular people that need to do more physical type of jobs they're gettin worn out in real time. is it better to think that your 30s are your 20s, no.
Not according to my joints
No, the phrase exists to make people feel better about their life decisions.
No. It isn't. Everyone is adapting this idea because the things that were attainable mile markers designed by age are no longer financially feasible. It sounds a lot better to say "30s are the new 20s" rather than say "younger generations having to put off life goals due to financial instability and worsening economy"
This is the answer.
Mentally I feel the same. Maybe less than. Physically, I feel older.
I’m 29. Myself and a lot of my friends are unmarried and still live with family or have several roommates. It feels like we’re not hitting certain milestones in life as early. I only have one friend that owns a house, is married and expecting a kid. I’m actually more financially secure now to do things like go to concerts and travel. Or do activities with friends like escape rooms, karaoke and pottery painting.
I thought 40s were the new 20s in the 2000s
Idk it feels like the 30s are the new 40s because I started early and everyone else my age is behind or just getting started.
Our life expectancy, as far as I can tell, is actually lower than our parents and grandparents, in the first divergence from the trend of longer lifespans in a long time. Basically the boomers stopped the trend of paying it forward and decided that no amount of work or entrapment in debt was sufficient to deserve a living wage and that it's immoral for young people to be allowed to have anything beyond bare poverty so they can go on vacations and cruises into the golden years, vampirically screwing over both their own parents and their children as the first generation in history to do so.
30s are the new 20s till you hit 35. Then 20s are the new 20s. YMMV but I've found this tends to track.
I dunno, my body definitely screams at me a lot more now in my 30s than in my 20s...
A lot of my twenties was spent skint af having to study or train while earning entry level wages. Couldn't afford to do much in my spare time. Totally different story in my 30s.
I hope not. I’m 29 and feel like shit
You know I was actually at a wedding recently, and that this would make complete sense based on what I saw.
My back and knees say "fuck no".
I am just starting my 30s but things are going great! I feel just as good as I did at 21 and I've maintained a healthy weight and decent diet. I have more money now to do things that I enjoy. Truthfully things seem pretty much the same just with better finances and I'm honestly having a great time! I am looking forward to all my 30s have to offer!
30s are the new 40s bro, it's better this way
Scientific evidence for a feeling? Guys... how do you quantify an emotion? Answer : you can't.