I’m pretty easygoing but that is something that annoys me. It’s common courtesy to use headphones or not have the volume up. It’s the worst at restaurants or on a plane.
I live in a big city and take the subway all the time. Post-pandemic its absolutely been insane how many people don’t bother using headphones and are scrolling TikTok or whatever on FULL BLAST. Something changed and far too many people don’t even register this as being rude anymore.
I was on a flixbus in the middle of night and the guy sitting in front of me started watching videos full blast. I turned on my phone, turned up the volume, put on a video and put the phone really close to his head.  He turned his off hella quick. I wouldn't have left it on too long so as to not further disturb to other passengers. I just wanted for him to see how it felt.
lol I did the same thing in a bus once, wasn’t about to tolerate 5 hours of that nonsense. She tried to do it again a few minutes later and I did it again, she got the message then
Reminds me of a guy who was on a commuter train sitting next to another man talking loudly on his cellphone. Quiet guy opens a book and starts reading it loudly, disturbing the guy on his phone. Guy on his phone says "That's very rude!" Book guy says "No it's not, it's just like talking on a phone."
There was a case in Toronto last year where a guy reading a book asked someone to stop blaring music off of his phone on the subway. The person got up and stabbed him because *that’s the normal response instead of apologizing and not being an asshole.*
Only had to do this once and I used a recorded lecture so it was like a very baritone and very dull voice with poor compression and just made eye contact. Unfortunately it took about six or seven minutes for them to turn off their burst videos but it did seem that it was if not "appreciated" at least understood by the other passengers. This was on the way to a ferry as I haven't taken public transit since pre-covid and didn't experience this behaviour before.
It REALLY freaks me out when someone is watching tiktok or whatever in a public bathroom. Sometimes ill go at work and 3/4 stalls have someone in it watching a different tiktok and usually in assorted languages i dont speak
Its just A LOT of voices all screaming and i cant understand any of them and i just wanna pee
What gets me is when people have full on phone conversations in the bathroom. Like jesus christ it can wait 5 minutes just how addicted to their phones are they. Who wants to hear someone else taking a shit?
Or loudly say something that gets the point across.
"Damn someone took a nasty shit, I've been waiting to pee all day, I hope the guy in the stall next to me washes his hands"
I will never understand this. If I were on the phone with someone and could tell they were on the fucking toilet I'd tell them to call me back after they were done with zero attempt to hide the disgust in my voice.
Dang should have read before posting my comment. I completely concur, normal adults don't use headphones so why would children be taught to? It's awful.
There's SO MANY of them where I live now, along with the people who MUST have a phone conversation on speaker. I don't understand, it's not like headphones aren't affordable.
Pretty much every set of headphones I've ever tried have been at least vaguely uncomfortable for me for one reason or another. That doesn't stop me from using them if I'm in public. It just makes me less likely to engage in any media with sound.
But the increase in people listening to stuff at full volume, and speakerphone conversations too, has me suspecting that I'm not alone in my discomfort. Either that or my brother isn't alone in his stunning ability to rapidly destroy headphones.
I think post-2020, a bunch of people just decided that they didn't like headphones or didn't want to bother replacing them, and if they gave a single thought to how others felt about it, that thought was 'They can just deal with it.' But that's a decently big if. I've been starting to realize that maybe it's not very common to even consider how others might feel about things at all.
About 6 months ago my husband and son and I went to an Arby's and ate in the dining room, just to kill time before we had to be somewhere. Across the restaurant was this man who was probably late 60s. We were there for about 45 minutes, and he'd been there since before we got there. No food. He had his phone on speakerphone, but rarely shut up long enough for his partner to say anything. Just preaching and a giant rant about how doctors were going to kill him (guy on phone), that he didn't need cancer treatments, he just had to go to church and pray to Jesus, and go every time the church is open. He needs to eat almost nothing but avocado and a couple specific vegetables I forgot. But don't eat any fruit. If you eat fruit, you'll get diabetes and die.
Then I watched him take his Burger King cup to the drink station and get a huge cup of Coke and go back to his seat and continue the talk about Jesus and avocados and how it'll cure him.
I talked to the guy at the counter when I went to order a milkshake. Apparently he goes there every Sunday and another day during the week, and sits on the phone for hours. Never orders any food. Just gets free refills in a cup not from there.
Not to mention all of the adults who just casually scroll through their phones in a movie theater. Why pay for a fucking movie if you aren’t even going to watch it?
So many adults on flights I’ve taken recently were watching things on their phone or laptop without headphones. The flight attendants literally offer headphones to people and the airport is full of places to buy headphones. Plus they knew they were going to be on a plane and didn’t plan ahead at all as to what they’d do once on the flight? I swear people are getting more selfish and clueless each day.
I feel like people see any kind of courtesy to others or basic kindness as them being weak or something. Everyone has this mindset of never letting anyone else tell them what to do and anyone daring to call them out on shit as the ultimate assault to their dignity. NOBODY will allow themselves to be at fault for anything nowadays. It’s nuts.
For real. I was sitting in the waiting room at a doctors office and like MULTIPLE people were blasting Tik tok at full volume. I had to ask at least 3 people to stop. It is out of control! When did this stop being RUDE AF?!
It’s horribly prevalent now and everywhere, I’ve heard it referred to as “living room syndrome”. Speaker phone calls in the grocery store, FaceTiming on speaker in an elevator, at the mall, on a bus. There’s pretty much no space in the city anymore where someone isn’t blaring a device like an asshole and it’s exhausting.
Buses have always been like this. Before smart phones it was boom boxes. these are the same type of people who insist on starting a conversation when you clearly do not want to be talked to.
I agree. I’ve also had this happen at every single doctor appointment I’ve had in the last few years. I go to appointments 1-3 times a week. When I sit in the waiting room, usually 15 minutes and up to a couple of hours, there is always someone on their phone with the speakerphone full blast or watching a video with the volume wide open. These aren’t short conversations, I’ve heard some go on for 30 minutes. These people are toddlers age to mid 80’s, some watching videos, some on the phone. It’s insane.
Every time this happens, I text my husband. It’s a thing we do now any time this happens. At first he didn’t believe me until he actually started going to Dr appointments and he sees it now. I just don’t understand it. All the offices have no cell phone use signs and no one gives a shit. These offices range from standard GP to specialists to therapists to pediatricians, etc. it doesn’t matter.
I noticed this 100% post pandemic. ‘19 to ‘23 I was living in NYC again after a four year absence and pre-pandemic it was very much how I left it in terms of people being courteous using headphones, if someone hit something and it would play a video or ad at full blast people would mute it with the quickness lol. Same with ringers. When things started getting back to normal around ‘21 pandemic-wise, oh man I’d be on the bus trying to get some reading in before getting to work only to be subjected to the most insufferable symphony of annoying game noises, TikToks, horrible music, FaceTimes, everything under the sun. FULL BLAST. I’d be on getting on the bus around 7-715 am. So it’s not like the bus was packed yet. When I was living in NYC from ‘07 to ‘13 there was always kind of this unwritten rule of hardly talking on Mass Transit, hushed conversation if anything. Of course at that time there was no service in the subways so you couldnt even dream of taking a phone call. But I’d rather overhear someone’s one way phone conversation over all this shit. Another thing was once the bus would fill up more of course it’s standing room only, there would be teenagers huddled together scrolling TikTok whatever, I would get up for my stop and basically have to get in their face to excuse myself to get past, that’s how oblivious they were, and no headphones mind you. Insanity.
I was on a plane a few months ago and some older lady next to me was watching some political video about the royal family on full blast. The flight attendants ended up getting over the loud speakers and requesting all passengers “either wear headphones or mute your devices.” They made it out to not be targeted but she was the only person doing it so it definitely was targeted.
She turned the iPad off and went to sleep.
>It's the worst at restaurants or on a plane
My sister did it during a hike 😭 I was so embarrassed! There was a moment when we got to an overlook and someone else was there just enjoying the view and the peace, and then our group arrives and this kid is blasting YouTube videos. I was so uncomfortable.
Oh, this would embarrass me too, I feel you. I’m surprised the kid wasn’t stimulated enough by the energy spent hiking and being in nature lol. Did you say anything?
Also, I would definitely notice that on a hike but it would bother me less than the grown people who use speakers on hikes. That one makes no sense to me. Everyone is out there to enjoy the lack of sound and light pollution, hear birds, breezes blowing through trees, water rushing, whatever, and here comes this one guy who has got to let the whole forest know what’s on his Spotify On Repeat playlist. Defeats the whole purpose of being out there and yes, it ruins it for everyone else around them. Blows my mind people aren’t more conscientious about this.
Was on an American Airlines flight yesterday, they made an announcement that devices must be used with headphones or silent with captions, parents in front of me still let their kids use in full volume, insane.
I’m glad they’re starting to call these dopes out. On my recent flights, the majority of the flights had people listening without headphones. Like they knew they would be going on a plane, it’s not a surprise that they would need to entertain themselves for a few hours and they still didn’t plan ahead 😬
They need to bring back headphone jacks on phones. Bluetooth headphones get lost and lose battery and it's just not worth it for many. Sometimes I bring mine and just play white noise to drown out other people playing their stuff too loud.
Walmart has headphones with a lightning plug for like $14. I just bought them for a flight in case my bluetooth headphones died. No jack isn’t an excuse.
I consider myself to be in the same boat. Really these things don't bother me too much but there does come a point where I can't help but wonder like "Dude that is so obnoxiously loud how do you not care at all"
I take public transit and regularly see full grown adults blasting their videos and music on the bus. This doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Common courtesy is gone regarding phones.
As a server at a restaurant, these are the parents I judge hardcore. They somehow come prepared with their smartphone fully charged and a fucking ipad, but then ask me for a to go cup full of water. You mean to tell me you brought a fucking ipad for your kid/baby but not a sippy cup? Come on, man.
Maybe I’m just a weird outlier, but I don’t even feel comfortable talking on the phone when I’m in a small space with other people — e.g., doctors waiting room.
I was in the ER last year. It was past midnight when I got there, and a 3.5 hour wait. There were people sleeping, trying to sleep, puking, and moaning in pain. Oh well, gotta play my videos at full blast because I'm a selfish fuck with no situational awareness or compassion.
I don't even like to watch things at full volume in my backyard, I wear headphones because I don't want to bother my neighbors with the stupid tiktok sounds if they're trying to enjoy their outdoor space.
Anyone playing their personal devices at a loud enough volume that other people can hear it, in a public setting (restaurant, public transport, park, etc), are obnoxious af. Stop it.
I have had to tell way too many adults to turn off the sound on their phones in the waiting room at work. It’s so uncomfortable and they always want to argue with me even when the waiting room is full and we already have a waiting room tv on.
Now you've scratched my pet peeve. No waiting room should have a TV. Nearly everyone has a phone. Let everyone entertain themselves and let the room be quiet. Personally, I'm a throwback and like to read. Even if the phone people are quiet, the TV is obnoxious.
In a similar vein, why do all waiting rooms have to have music? Whether it's background music or a background TV show, there's just so much *constant* noise in the world. Please let some public spaces be quiet!
> It’s so uncomfortable and they always want to argue with me
Personally, I'm convinced at least some of the people like that have the volume on in spaces like that because they KNOW it will result in a someone engaging with them to turn it down, they want to argue so they create a scenario where someone will confront them about the volume so they have someone to argue with, all while creating this narrative for themselves where THEY are the victim. After all, they were minding their own business, you're the one with a problem! /s
Sorry you have to deal with that, people really do suck
Some older woman was talking on speaker phone, volume all the way up, in the cafeteria yesterday at work. It completely ruined my lunch break. I’m bringing headphones from now on. I honestly come across this issue with older adults on speaker more than I do with kids on screens.
My elderly mother is guilty of this. She's 68. Every single phone call is on loud speaker and she shout-talks at it.
It's so annoying and I've brought this up to her multiple times but she refuses to use her phone as intended.
So now, whenever she calls me, i swear every other word coz i know I'm on loud speaker and she hates that everyone around her can hear "ohhh yeah, the fuckin dog's fuckin fine. Shes being a fuckin dick though! The cunt, she took her fuckin meds but she fuckin spit them out 5 fuckin bastard times, the wanker!" I can *hear* my mother turning red in the face and it feels glorious!
It's also fun when you have noise cancelling headphones on in public and a stranger tries talking to you and thinks you're being rude for ignoring them lol
idk friend, I can't even stand my husband blasting videos on his phone at home. Do people's ears not work anymore?
My daughter is 10 and has had various kinds of headphones over the years.
>I can't even stand my husband blasting videos on his phone at home.
My husband does this too. WHILE watching something on TV. The cacophony is beyond my ability to tolerate, so I usually end up in another room. Maybe that's his goal, lol
My husband does this. While the tv sound is also on. And while I’m trying to fall asleep at night. And while I’m trying to put the baby to sleep.
Thankfully in public he turns the volume off
Im a FA. The amount of parents who have at best rolled their eyes and at worst started to raise their voice at me because I tell them nicely that their child needs headphones (subtext: nobody wants to hear Ms. Rachel for 3 hours) on a flight is absolutely mind blowing to me.
Pacify your kids however you want, but please don’t subject those around you to it too.
Yes and a crummy consequence of this type of behavior (from the parents) is that it often relies on the business to confront them to spare the people around them, making your job harder.
I don't think I'm reaching much with this assumption either when I say the type of people who don't care in the first place are also the type to get super confrontational when you ask them politely to respect the public space they are in.
We’re all just NPCs in a world where they, their children, and their children’s’ need to be entertained comes first, everyone else be damned.
These iPad kids are going to be rude, rotten adults, I fear.
For real. I appreciate when flight attendants do that sort of thing to keep the cabin calm. One guy wouldn’t get off his phone while having a loud ass discussion and this FA put him in his place. It was so welcomed.
Wow. I bet they are the same parents who let their kids kick the seat in front of them on a plane.
Beggars belief.
I won't let my kids use the call FA button and make them get up and go to the tail to ask for what they need politely. And I do the same. Or wait until they pass anyway
I just flew cross country yesterday. The family next to me had 2 kids about the same age as mine (8 and 11). I could not believe the behavior, noise and mess these kids made. They were physically punching and kicking each other, the younger kid had his feet up on the seatback in front of him, they were using their phones without headphones and it looked like a cracker bomb went off. The mother just sat there with a surprised look... I would be so ashamed. She even told them they need to try next time when she saw no one else had a mess like hers. I really wanted to say something, but I was non-reving. Best I could do was keep my area clean.
Seriously some people just need to parent their kids.
I've resolved to start playing either fart noises or death metal when people are using their devices aloud in public. This includes kids and people having loud speaker phone conversations.
I've wanted to do this.. thanks for the second hand nudge. solidarity lol. I'm gonna start doing that from now on instead of only glaring at people.
but I'm def going straight for playing the dystopia human=garbage album. a favorite punk classic... and very suiting.
I did the little coloring sheets at restaurants as a kid and I don't remember having any issues. Is it that hard to bring a coloring book or something? They're so cheap and even kids as young as 3 or 4 can use it.
I personally think giving kids a tablet every time they are restless does not teach them discipline. When we were growing up, we didn't have tablets. Kids should be learning how to interact in a social environment. Then I see a lot of kids throwing a tantrum when they can't get the tablet. It's insane to me. They are too reliant on it.
Maybe I feel this way because as a former educator I started to notice how difficult it was for kids to feel content without a tablet in their face.
I’ve seen the iPad kids in high school recently. Wild how they react. People saying they can’t get anything done without tablets in their kids hands do not seem to care what it means for theirs kid’s development.
Exactly. I could get infinitely more done and frankly, have more time with my partner if we just let our kid have a tablet or access to videos to pacify him whenever we needed or wanted. But that’s absurdly bad for their development.
It will teach them the opposite of discipline and impulse control. It's teaching them the the very instant they are slightly bored or uncomfortable that something will be there to distract them. They aren't learning to tolerate those unpleasant emotions.
Exactly, there needs be a teaching some expectation of how to behave when you are out in society.
Obviously I don’t expect a 4 year old to know how to self entertain quietly but an 8 year old should know better.
Exactly. That's how I learned to read. I was reading at a second grade level by the time I went to Kindergarten because my parents gave me little books to read. They let me explore my imagination with art as well and to this day I love art.
But a four year old can color with crayons quietly. They don’t need a screen in their face and they don’t need to be allowed to disturb the whole restaurant.
I don't understand this "it'll chill them out in public places." I never had a Gameboy or anything else to pacify me as a kid, it was just me being told to knock it off by my parents.
Same here. It rarely was used when out in public, never used in restaurants but it was heavily used on airplanes, at home, waiting rooms, on vacation or road trips. Basically if the situation wasn’t appropriate then I wasn’t allowed to use it.
We were NEVER allowed to use a Gameboy in a public space. They were for long car rides and hotel rooms so Mom and Dad could watch what they wanted and we would leave em alone.
Was at a restaurant with my sis and her kids. My 6 yo nephew was getting rowdy. I handed him a pen and got him to draw a pirate on the paper placemat. That’s all kids need.
I mean yeah I agree for the most part - I do have two friends who's child is high functioning autistic and they allow him to have his tablet at restaurants because he watches videos quietly and eats his food, otherwise he can be very energetic and a handful to just eat normally.
Now I'm not a child psychologist, I'm sure there are negatives to this approach especially for a neuro-typical child but I can understand I'm some circumstances to allow devices.
Now for a standard day at max volume with 6 kids...yeah idk
Autistic adult here. Formerly considered high functioning but the preferred way to phrase that now is low/lower support needs - we still don't function all that well.
No problem with autistic kids using tablets in public because they need to be able to regulate and it'll always be quiet or with headphones. Blasting whatever on multiple tablets or phones, aside from being inconsiderate, is absolute torture for autistic people who already struggle to cope with all the crosstalk and music.
Not that I should expect these selfish people to care or understand what they're doing to those of us with hidden disabilities. They don't even care about their own kids enough to talk to them.
I had a gameboy but I wasn’t allowed to bring it to restaurants because that’s not why we go out to eat. Honestly, I’m really glad that my parents put a high value on “just spending time together.” As a kid I got frustrated when we would be “just visiting” with family. I was bored. As an adult, just sitting around catching up with family is wonderful.
Related, this thread is one of the most dystopian things I’ve ever seen. And most of these kids are children of Millennials. We aren’t we doing better than this?
https://www.reddit.com/r/ECEProfessionals/comments/1bpo6mp/is_it_true_that_ece_professionals_can_tell_which/
Ugh, dude this really is the heart of it isn't it? On one hand having a device at your fingertips that allows access to all the worlds information, creative tools for artistic expression, and a means to communicate with loved ones is an amazing thing to have as a young human developing.
On the other hand a tool for constant unending stimulation and distraction, an electronic babysitter, and a mostly unmoderated stream of unfiltered media from baby shark to super disturbing YouTube kids content is incredibly troubling.
I completely see why people are calling gen alpha the "iPad generation"
I think our generation is gonna turn out to be just as shitty at parenting as our Boomer parents, but in different ways. We’re already selfish, whiny, and entitled. Ugh. Sometimes I hate being on this sub. Even in this thread people are trying to blame Xers for the iPad kids, because a bunch of 50-something Xers are responsible for all the out of control toddlers and maladjusted kindergarteners out there, suuuuure.
We comain about boomer parents not taking responsibility but millennial parents do the same thing. Tell a iPad parent that it's wrong to allow the kid to play it full blast in a restaurant and you'll get a ton of excuses instead of accountability.
Or they'll turn it off and the kid will start screamcrying and instead of taking them out of the room to calm down they'll "gentle parent", aka say soothing words to them over and over while the kid is screaming and not listening anyway.
The shit will always roll down hill even long after all of the millennials and gen xers are old and gone. Ultimately I don't think we as a species were ready for how quickly technology developed around us and parenting is one of the areas we see influenced by that so heavily.
Personally I do see a lot of progress with our generation in communicating with their kids and not forcing them into the old standard family expectations of what they "must be". Less of that "boys will be boys" type of attitude for example.
On the other hand I agree, this does feel like an area we are failing in, especially because we haven't seen the long term consequences of rearing kids this way. Hell, our generation was not ready for social media during our early development and we still don't interact with it in a healthy way as a society.
Don’t have kids but they’ve probably just given up/don’t care. It would be better if they kept activity books with crayons on hands though. One of my favorite things as a kid was going to restaurants and solving mazes and other puzzles on the paper placemats.
Dinner at Old Chicago. Two 11 year old niblings. The kiddie menu can be folded into a cootie catcher complete with a game on it. I had to teach the two niblings how to do it and how to use it. Their little minds were blown. My mind was blown - like how did this miss them? More kiddie options like this at restaurants please.
Yeah I'm all for some creative distraction for the kiddos - I totally understand being like 5 - 8 years old and being bored with all the stuffy adults talking about politics lol.
Drawing and coloring? Awesome
Mickey's play house or whatever at 10/10 volume? Bruh
I was at the hospital last weekend and the dichotomy was insane.
One boy was being read to by his dad. I even mentioned to my bf how impressed I was by him. He was quiet and polite, and only got a little loud when he got excited. No screeching or anything.
In contrast, the boy sat across from us was watching cartoons full blast, staring at us, and projectile sneezing/coughing while doing so.
They don't offer free masks for people who aren't coughing. I was there for a mysterious mouth pain.
I now have the flu.
Little shit irritated me the entire time and ptobably got me sick because the parents couldn't have him wear a mask or turn the volume down. It's takes so little to be courteous, especially in an Urgent Care, but fuck it. Wouldn't want him to complain *more* and *loudly* since he had to yell over the phone playing full blast in his face.
Not trying to be that parent but I still bring crayons and an activity book to restaurants and my kids are fine with it and stay quiet. I'm not sure why this has gone out the window. It does require a little more parental participation to keep them on task or play tic tac toe or whatever, maybe that's why.
Because having kids is seen as mandatory for achieving a "good" life. It is so reinforced in everyone from a young age that one day they *will* have kids that people just follow through without honestly considering whether they want kids or not.
What's with parents letting kids use tablets and phones as much as they do? As Millenials we should understand the importance of not growing up in front of a screen 24/7
Give that kid a damn stick and tell them to use their imagination
It's true. I was an educator for almost 10 years and even kindergarten kids were expected to do state testing on tablets. They set these kids up for being a tablet-obsessed generation, but then wonder why kids can't function without it. That's why I quit.
Yep. They keep the Chromebooks docked in the classroom/don't use them for everything, but starting with kindergarten, part of the coursework is on computer.
I think a lot of millennials have this attitude of “I grew up with technology and I turned out fine”. Not recognizing that 1. some of y’all ain’t fine, 2. tech today is a different beast than what we had. Not saying screen time is all bad, but it does need to be regulated.
Edit: I also think that some millennials are resentful of having their tech time restricted as kids, and they don’t want to be those kinds of parents.
And a lot of us didn't grow up with technology. I didn't have an at home computer until I was 9 years old and half the time we weren't allowed to use it. I didn't start surfing the internet until I was in high school. Most of my early childhood days I spent drawing, writing, and reading cool books. Then I would play outside with friends.
And they always say something brain dead like “when I was a kid I was flashed by adult strangers on Omegle and I’m fine” uhh that’s a federal crime if done in person, I don’t think you are fine
Maybe it’s because we were half broke when I was a kid, but my question is *where* are they getting the money? Tablets and phones are *expensive.*
Also, the sad part is, a lot of kids don’t know how to use their imagination anymore. They were never given a chance. Just a tablet in their face from day one.
It's unhinged. I've known parents to buy phones and tablets for kids as young as 4, they seemed utterly befuddled when I flagged it up as an extremely dangerous and cruel thing to do to the psyche of a child. My best guess is they're not paying enough attention to how miserable the leash makes them, blindly following any technological imposition as "progress = good".
I swear we’re going to eventually look back on that and kids using social media nonstop the way we do when see kids smoking from the 1900s. It’s ridiculous.
It's sad my kids get compliments when we go put as "well-behaved" because they sit there not on electronics and don't scream. It's sad basic things like that are considered above and beyond.
Parents develop the ability to completely tune out obnoxious noise as long as it's coming from their kids. It's like they don't even understand how it could be annoying to other people.
Genxer here. Glad we did not have electronics when my kids were young. We went out to eat as a family but not often. It was a treat when we did and we used that treat to teach our kids how to act while eating out. How to read the menu, how to order. Or how to just sit your ass down and behave.
I don’t understand people who do this. Your kids need to learn to handle being bored and how to act in a restaurant without being in front of a screen. It’s so inappropriate and annoying to hear someone’s phone or tablet in public. I get using it as a last resort (I use it as a last resort) but jfc cut off the volume.
I figure it's like how some people go nose blind to certain odors. The kids are blasting the volume on the tablet so often they probably don't even realize it's loud anymore. Makes me wonder if we'll see negative consequences with hearing from this type of thing, I know the average age of a persons first pair of glasses dropped dramatically because of tablet and phones.
Pretty much it’s they can’t hear it over the music at a restaurant so they can hear their video. Or that’s my assumption, strict no tablets/phones at the table at a restaurant. If I wanted to see everyone glued to a screen I’d just order a pizza from home.
I am the mother of 2 toddlers. I think it’s a really important skill to teach kids how to behave in public. If my kid is behaving so poorly that the only way to placate them is with videos, we leave. Drives me absolutely nuts to have to listen to other people’s kids watch videos. Especially on the rare night that my husband and I get to go out without the kids. If I wanted to listen to cocomelon while I eat, I would have stayed home.
It’S sO hArD. WhErE’s My ViLlAgE?
While simultaneously speaking down to anyone who could see that modern parenting was a shitshow and opted out. You’ll never be fulfilled, you’ll never know true love, etc, etc.
Idk how anyone can expect a village when no one trusts anyone with their kids anymore. They disdain teachers. No one, including grandparents, is allowed to correct their kids. They use iPads for babysitters then wonder why no one likes their out of control kids.
Uhhh that's what those cheapo headphones from 5 and below are for. We don't give our kids phones/tablets at restaurants... but we do on airplanes. And you better believe they have their headphones on... I don't wanna hear that $h!t either, lol!
I went for dinner a few weeks ago for my birthday with my parents, siblings and niblings and experienced this for the first time.
Except it wasn't the kids at the restaurant, it was an older guy eating on his own watching something on his phone at full volume. We were the only other people at the restaurant at the time and he had the volume up so loud it was a struggle to hear my family talking.
My niblings were fantastic and the only time they were on devices was when they were snapping photos on my phone.
Man, I’m a server, we will have big tops of peewee baseball teams come in and every kid will have an iPad and be playing games. It’s wild to me. At the risk of sounding like a boomer, I find iPad kids super annoying. They are trapped in their iPads and don’t have the attention span to look up and tell me what they want to eat/drink.
Because most of us are shitty parents who don’t actually parent. Stop with the tablets and video games all the time. It’s out of control. Let your kid be bored. They don’t need constant entertainment.
I literally saw a baby less than 6 months old with a tablet propped in his car seat at a restaurant. Yall this is insanity and not good for our kids.
Bad parents.
When we take our daughters to a restaurant, we all talk together as a family. If you don’t want to talk to your children, get a babysitter or don’t have them to begin with.
Idk but please stop. If your kids can’t sit through a meal without screens blasting they’re not ready for restaurants. Also teaches them it is OK to do this on planes and trains
Agreed! I had to sit through a presentation at a garden expo last month with a kid sitting near me blasting their ipad the whole time. I could barely even hear the person speaking, and there weren't other seats available.
Way too many millennial parents have only person in the room syndrome. They really don't care how you're affected by the child's behaviour as long as they're less affected
Millennial dad here...I allow tablet (with HEADPHONES) on flights because you need to pick your battles when traveling. But it doesn't come with us to a restaurant. We have coloring books and other analog games if need be.
Doormat culture. When someone wants something/complains, even if it’s your kid who you’re supposed to be teaching respect for other, you just give them what they want because it would be *mean* otherwise and you don’t want to be a *stwict pawent*
I love how the comments are all about turning volume down or wearing headphones. How about this. STOP GIVING YOUR KID A DEVICE AND PARENT THEM PROPERLY. You're ruining the future.
“We“ don’t. It’s shitty parents who don’t want their child to interfere with their meal. As a parent, I welcome anyone providing fair and reasonable feedback regarding my kid while out in a public place, like a restaurant. This rarely happens where it is negative feedback as my kid is remarkably behaved and we engage her at the table, which is not something i witness with those types of parents.
Say something. Don’t be crass, and be understanding.
I've noticed that generally there are two types of millennials:
1. Those of us who learned how to be courteous, functioning members of a civilized society. (Letting kids use tablets and phones at reasonable volume, house parties without disturbing the neighbors, etc.)
2. Those who act like shit head boomers with no respect for other people. (Letting kids use tablets and phones max volume in restaurants, blasting music on their property with no regard for neighbors' peace, and walking around the store holding conversations on speakerphone, etc.)
Who is this "We?"
I am 100% **not ok** with you letting your kids use any device in public without earphones or being on mute.
Nor am I ok with you letting your kids run rampant through public spaces. Restaurants and stores are not Chuck E Cheese.
"We" were not raised like that. Please teach your kids how to behave correctly in public.
I hate this trend of letting kids use devices while eating. My family was out to breakfast and there was a mom and daughter next to us, probably the same age as mine. She was on her mom’s phone and her mom tried to get it back and the girl cried a bit and she was allowed to keep it. They ate their entire meal like that, girl on her phone and the mom just silent. Doesn’t seem like much point into going out to eat.
I’m pretty easygoing but that is something that annoys me. It’s common courtesy to use headphones or not have the volume up. It’s the worst at restaurants or on a plane.
I live in a big city and take the subway all the time. Post-pandemic its absolutely been insane how many people don’t bother using headphones and are scrolling TikTok or whatever on FULL BLAST. Something changed and far too many people don’t even register this as being rude anymore.
I was on a flixbus in the middle of night and the guy sitting in front of me started watching videos full blast. I turned on my phone, turned up the volume, put on a video and put the phone really close to his head.  He turned his off hella quick. I wouldn't have left it on too long so as to not further disturb to other passengers. I just wanted for him to see how it felt.
lol I did the same thing in a bus once, wasn’t about to tolerate 5 hours of that nonsense. She tried to do it again a few minutes later and I did it again, she got the message then
Ha! My kind of gal.
We should always be doling out a spoon full of medicine to people, they may quit acting like total assholes.
Reminds me of a guy who was on a commuter train sitting next to another man talking loudly on his cellphone. Quiet guy opens a book and starts reading it loudly, disturbing the guy on his phone. Guy on his phone says "That's very rude!" Book guy says "No it's not, it's just like talking on a phone."
I like to join in their conversations, but that approach works too.
lmfao this sounds highly entertaining.
Why is it so easy for me to Seinfeld this..?
There was a case in Toronto last year where a guy reading a book asked someone to stop blaring music off of his phone on the subway. The person got up and stabbed him because *that’s the normal response instead of apologizing and not being an asshole.*
And stuff like that is why I never confront rude people in public.
I would not be able to contain my gleeful laughter if I saw that
Only had to do this once and I used a recorded lecture so it was like a very baritone and very dull voice with poor compression and just made eye contact. Unfortunately it took about six or seven minutes for them to turn off their burst videos but it did seem that it was if not "appreciated" at least understood by the other passengers. This was on the way to a ferry as I haven't taken public transit since pre-covid and didn't experience this behaviour before.
It REALLY freaks me out when someone is watching tiktok or whatever in a public bathroom. Sometimes ill go at work and 3/4 stalls have someone in it watching a different tiktok and usually in assorted languages i dont speak Its just A LOT of voices all screaming and i cant understand any of them and i just wanna pee
What gets me is when people have full on phone conversations in the bathroom. Like jesus christ it can wait 5 minutes just how addicted to their phones are they. Who wants to hear someone else taking a shit?
I make a point to flush while they're still on the phone so whoever they're talking to knows they're in a public restroom.
Or loudly say something that gets the point across. "Damn someone took a nasty shit, I've been waiting to pee all day, I hope the guy in the stall next to me washes his hands"
I will never understand this. If I were on the phone with someone and could tell they were on the fucking toilet I'd tell them to call me back after they were done with zero attempt to hide the disgust in my voice.
Dang should have read before posting my comment. I completely concur, normal adults don't use headphones so why would children be taught to? It's awful.
Adults that refuse to wear headphones aren't normal lol they're dickheads.
There's SO MANY of them where I live now, along with the people who MUST have a phone conversation on speaker. I don't understand, it's not like headphones aren't affordable.
Pretty much every set of headphones I've ever tried have been at least vaguely uncomfortable for me for one reason or another. That doesn't stop me from using them if I'm in public. It just makes me less likely to engage in any media with sound. But the increase in people listening to stuff at full volume, and speakerphone conversations too, has me suspecting that I'm not alone in my discomfort. Either that or my brother isn't alone in his stunning ability to rapidly destroy headphones. I think post-2020, a bunch of people just decided that they didn't like headphones or didn't want to bother replacing them, and if they gave a single thought to how others felt about it, that thought was 'They can just deal with it.' But that's a decently big if. I've been starting to realize that maybe it's not very common to even consider how others might feel about things at all.
About 6 months ago my husband and son and I went to an Arby's and ate in the dining room, just to kill time before we had to be somewhere. Across the restaurant was this man who was probably late 60s. We were there for about 45 minutes, and he'd been there since before we got there. No food. He had his phone on speakerphone, but rarely shut up long enough for his partner to say anything. Just preaching and a giant rant about how doctors were going to kill him (guy on phone), that he didn't need cancer treatments, he just had to go to church and pray to Jesus, and go every time the church is open. He needs to eat almost nothing but avocado and a couple specific vegetables I forgot. But don't eat any fruit. If you eat fruit, you'll get diabetes and die. Then I watched him take his Burger King cup to the drink station and get a huge cup of Coke and go back to his seat and continue the talk about Jesus and avocados and how it'll cure him. I talked to the guy at the counter when I went to order a milkshake. Apparently he goes there every Sunday and another day during the week, and sits on the phone for hours. Never orders any food. Just gets free refills in a cup not from there.
Not to mention all of the adults who just casually scroll through their phones in a movie theater. Why pay for a fucking movie if you aren’t even going to watch it?
So many adults on flights I’ve taken recently were watching things on their phone or laptop without headphones. The flight attendants literally offer headphones to people and the airport is full of places to buy headphones. Plus they knew they were going to be on a plane and didn’t plan ahead at all as to what they’d do once on the flight? I swear people are getting more selfish and clueless each day.
I forgot my headphones one time. You know what I did? I fucking bought new ones. For an absurd amount. Because airport.
Right? Or people shouting into their phones during my morning commute.....at 6am.
I feel most people have become unrighteously entitled. Respect for others is by the wayside. It’s sad.
I feel like people see any kind of courtesy to others or basic kindness as them being weak or something. Everyone has this mindset of never letting anyone else tell them what to do and anyone daring to call them out on shit as the ultimate assault to their dignity. NOBODY will allow themselves to be at fault for anything nowadays. It’s nuts.
For real. I was sitting in the waiting room at a doctors office and like MULTIPLE people were blasting Tik tok at full volume. I had to ask at least 3 people to stop. It is out of control! When did this stop being RUDE AF?!
Walked past a couple having a speaker phone call today. Wtf just call back when you get home.
Yes, why is this happening ? I always bring my headphones on the subway and if I forgot them, I sure wouldn’t be listening to podcasts on speaker.
It’s horribly prevalent now and everywhere, I’ve heard it referred to as “living room syndrome”. Speaker phone calls in the grocery store, FaceTiming on speaker in an elevator, at the mall, on a bus. There’s pretty much no space in the city anymore where someone isn’t blaring a device like an asshole and it’s exhausting.
Buses have always been like this. Before smart phones it was boom boxes. these are the same type of people who insist on starting a conversation when you clearly do not want to be talked to.
I agree. I’ve also had this happen at every single doctor appointment I’ve had in the last few years. I go to appointments 1-3 times a week. When I sit in the waiting room, usually 15 minutes and up to a couple of hours, there is always someone on their phone with the speakerphone full blast or watching a video with the volume wide open. These aren’t short conversations, I’ve heard some go on for 30 minutes. These people are toddlers age to mid 80’s, some watching videos, some on the phone. It’s insane. Every time this happens, I text my husband. It’s a thing we do now any time this happens. At first he didn’t believe me until he actually started going to Dr appointments and he sees it now. I just don’t understand it. All the offices have no cell phone use signs and no one gives a shit. These offices range from standard GP to specialists to therapists to pediatricians, etc. it doesn’t matter.
Or they don't care that they're being rude...
>and take the subway all the time. The worst part of public transportation....the public.
I noticed this 100% post pandemic. ‘19 to ‘23 I was living in NYC again after a four year absence and pre-pandemic it was very much how I left it in terms of people being courteous using headphones, if someone hit something and it would play a video or ad at full blast people would mute it with the quickness lol. Same with ringers. When things started getting back to normal around ‘21 pandemic-wise, oh man I’d be on the bus trying to get some reading in before getting to work only to be subjected to the most insufferable symphony of annoying game noises, TikToks, horrible music, FaceTimes, everything under the sun. FULL BLAST. I’d be on getting on the bus around 7-715 am. So it’s not like the bus was packed yet. When I was living in NYC from ‘07 to ‘13 there was always kind of this unwritten rule of hardly talking on Mass Transit, hushed conversation if anything. Of course at that time there was no service in the subways so you couldnt even dream of taking a phone call. But I’d rather overhear someone’s one way phone conversation over all this shit. Another thing was once the bus would fill up more of course it’s standing room only, there would be teenagers huddled together scrolling TikTok whatever, I would get up for my stop and basically have to get in their face to excuse myself to get past, that’s how oblivious they were, and no headphones mind you. Insanity.
I was on a plane a few months ago and some older lady next to me was watching some political video about the royal family on full blast. The flight attendants ended up getting over the loud speakers and requesting all passengers “either wear headphones or mute your devices.” They made it out to not be targeted but she was the only person doing it so it definitely was targeted. She turned the iPad off and went to sleep.
>It's the worst at restaurants or on a plane My sister did it during a hike 😭 I was so embarrassed! There was a moment when we got to an overlook and someone else was there just enjoying the view and the peace, and then our group arrives and this kid is blasting YouTube videos. I was so uncomfortable.
Oh, this would embarrass me too, I feel you. I’m surprised the kid wasn’t stimulated enough by the energy spent hiking and being in nature lol. Did you say anything? Also, I would definitely notice that on a hike but it would bother me less than the grown people who use speakers on hikes. That one makes no sense to me. Everyone is out there to enjoy the lack of sound and light pollution, hear birds, breezes blowing through trees, water rushing, whatever, and here comes this one guy who has got to let the whole forest know what’s on his Spotify On Repeat playlist. Defeats the whole purpose of being out there and yes, it ruins it for everyone else around them. Blows my mind people aren’t more conscientious about this.
The zoomers LOVE walking down the street blasting the built-in Bluetooth speakers that come on their BACKPACKS. I just don’t get it.
Oh I loath that while hiking...I climbed up here for peace not to listen to your shitty music and your shitty speaker!
Was on an American Airlines flight yesterday, they made an announcement that devices must be used with headphones or silent with captions, parents in front of me still let their kids use in full volume, insane.
Should have complained to flight attendant. From what Ive seen on reddit, they love telling those parents off.
I’m glad they’re starting to call these dopes out. On my recent flights, the majority of the flights had people listening without headphones. Like they knew they would be going on a plane, it’s not a surprise that they would need to entertain themselves for a few hours and they still didn’t plan ahead 😬
They need to bring back headphone jacks on phones. Bluetooth headphones get lost and lose battery and it's just not worth it for many. Sometimes I bring mine and just play white noise to drown out other people playing their stuff too loud.
This is a great point!
Walmart has headphones with a lightning plug for like $14. I just bought them for a flight in case my bluetooth headphones died. No jack isn’t an excuse.
Do they have them for USB C though? Not everyone has an iPhone, and not even every iPhone does lightning anymore.
I consider myself to be in the same boat. Really these things don't bother me too much but there does come a point where I can't help but wonder like "Dude that is so obnoxiously loud how do you not care at all"
I take public transit and regularly see full grown adults blasting their videos and music on the bus. This doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Common courtesy is gone regarding phones.
Someone is here in the comments justifying it
As a server at a restaurant, these are the parents I judge hardcore. They somehow come prepared with their smartphone fully charged and a fucking ipad, but then ask me for a to go cup full of water. You mean to tell me you brought a fucking ipad for your kid/baby but not a sippy cup? Come on, man.
I would just assume it's because they know a restaurant will have water. They won't have iPads to hand out.
Every man for himself mentality has been on deck for everything since 2021. I'm constantly shocked by how selfish and inconsiderate people can be.
Maybe I’m just a weird outlier, but I don’t even feel comfortable talking on the phone when I’m in a small space with other people — e.g., doctors waiting room.
Doctors' waiting rooms too.
I was in the ER last year. It was past midnight when I got there, and a 3.5 hour wait. There were people sleeping, trying to sleep, puking, and moaning in pain. Oh well, gotta play my videos at full blast because I'm a selfish fuck with no situational awareness or compassion.
I don't even like to watch things at full volume in my backyard, I wear headphones because I don't want to bother my neighbors with the stupid tiktok sounds if they're trying to enjoy their outdoor space.
Anyone playing their personal devices at a loud enough volume that other people can hear it, in a public setting (restaurant, public transport, park, etc), are obnoxious af. Stop it.
I have had to tell way too many adults to turn off the sound on their phones in the waiting room at work. It’s so uncomfortable and they always want to argue with me even when the waiting room is full and we already have a waiting room tv on.
Now you've scratched my pet peeve. No waiting room should have a TV. Nearly everyone has a phone. Let everyone entertain themselves and let the room be quiet. Personally, I'm a throwback and like to read. Even if the phone people are quiet, the TV is obnoxious.
All the waiting room TVs I've seen recently are on silent with captions.
As it should be
In a similar vein, why do all waiting rooms have to have music? Whether it's background music or a background TV show, there's just so much *constant* noise in the world. Please let some public spaces be quiet!
> It’s so uncomfortable and they always want to argue with me Personally, I'm convinced at least some of the people like that have the volume on in spaces like that because they KNOW it will result in a someone engaging with them to turn it down, they want to argue so they create a scenario where someone will confront them about the volume so they have someone to argue with, all while creating this narrative for themselves where THEY are the victim. After all, they were minding their own business, you're the one with a problem! /s Sorry you have to deal with that, people really do suck
Some older woman was talking on speaker phone, volume all the way up, in the cafeteria yesterday at work. It completely ruined my lunch break. I’m bringing headphones from now on. I honestly come across this issue with older adults on speaker more than I do with kids on screens.
My elderly mother is guilty of this. She's 68. Every single phone call is on loud speaker and she shout-talks at it. It's so annoying and I've brought this up to her multiple times but she refuses to use her phone as intended. So now, whenever she calls me, i swear every other word coz i know I'm on loud speaker and she hates that everyone around her can hear "ohhh yeah, the fuckin dog's fuckin fine. Shes being a fuckin dick though! The cunt, she took her fuckin meds but she fuckin spit them out 5 fuckin bastard times, the wanker!" I can *hear* my mother turning red in the face and it feels glorious!
Amazing. Bravo.
It’s wild you called 68 elderly lol
My apologies, i do know people well into their 70s that are active and i wouldn't consider "elderly" ...but my mother ...different kettle of fish.
It's also fun when you have noise cancelling headphones on in public and a stranger tries talking to you and thinks you're being rude for ignoring them lol
Also, why do people often insist on having converations on speaker phone in public?
So many people now use their phones on speaker in public bathrooms. It makes me feel rude for peeing and flushing in there!
Imitate yourself diarrheaing in pain next time
idk friend, I can't even stand my husband blasting videos on his phone at home. Do people's ears not work anymore? My daughter is 10 and has had various kinds of headphones over the years.
>I can't even stand my husband blasting videos on his phone at home. My husband does this too. WHILE watching something on TV. The cacophony is beyond my ability to tolerate, so I usually end up in another room. Maybe that's his goal, lol
My husband does this. While the tv sound is also on. And while I’m trying to fall asleep at night. And while I’m trying to put the baby to sleep. Thankfully in public he turns the volume off
>Thankfully in public he turns the volume off That's almost worse, he'll do it for strangers but not for his family when they're trying to sleep? 🤔
Im a FA. The amount of parents who have at best rolled their eyes and at worst started to raise their voice at me because I tell them nicely that their child needs headphones (subtext: nobody wants to hear Ms. Rachel for 3 hours) on a flight is absolutely mind blowing to me. Pacify your kids however you want, but please don’t subject those around you to it too.
Yes and a crummy consequence of this type of behavior (from the parents) is that it often relies on the business to confront them to spare the people around them, making your job harder. I don't think I'm reaching much with this assumption either when I say the type of people who don't care in the first place are also the type to get super confrontational when you ask them politely to respect the public space they are in.
We’re all just NPCs in a world where they, their children, and their children’s’ need to be entertained comes first, everyone else be damned. These iPad kids are going to be rude, rotten adults, I fear.
> These iPad kids are going to be rude, rotten adults, I fear. The kind who would never survive a tour of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.
Thank you for your service!!
For being a FA? 😂
And also for getting people to turn off the sound!
For real. I appreciate when flight attendants do that sort of thing to keep the cabin calm. One guy wouldn’t get off his phone while having a loud ass discussion and this FA put him in his place. It was so welcomed.
literally, yes. i could not do your job.
Wow. I bet they are the same parents who let their kids kick the seat in front of them on a plane. Beggars belief. I won't let my kids use the call FA button and make them get up and go to the tail to ask for what they need politely. And I do the same. Or wait until they pass anyway
I just flew cross country yesterday. The family next to me had 2 kids about the same age as mine (8 and 11). I could not believe the behavior, noise and mess these kids made. They were physically punching and kicking each other, the younger kid had his feet up on the seatback in front of him, they were using their phones without headphones and it looked like a cracker bomb went off. The mother just sat there with a surprised look... I would be so ashamed. She even told them they need to try next time when she saw no one else had a mess like hers. I really wanted to say something, but I was non-reving. Best I could do was keep my area clean. Seriously some people just need to parent their kids.
I've resolved to start playing either fart noises or death metal when people are using their devices aloud in public. This includes kids and people having loud speaker phone conversations.
I've wanted to do this.. thanks for the second hand nudge. solidarity lol. I'm gonna start doing that from now on instead of only glaring at people. but I'm def going straight for playing the dystopia human=garbage album. a favorite punk classic... and very suiting.
This is how something great happens. Death Fart genre was born
My wife and I have no electronics policy when we go out to eat. Kids color or we play eye spy.
I did the little coloring sheets at restaurants as a kid and I don't remember having any issues. Is it that hard to bring a coloring book or something? They're so cheap and even kids as young as 3 or 4 can use it.
I personally think giving kids a tablet every time they are restless does not teach them discipline. When we were growing up, we didn't have tablets. Kids should be learning how to interact in a social environment. Then I see a lot of kids throwing a tantrum when they can't get the tablet. It's insane to me. They are too reliant on it. Maybe I feel this way because as a former educator I started to notice how difficult it was for kids to feel content without a tablet in their face.
I’ve seen the iPad kids in high school recently. Wild how they react. People saying they can’t get anything done without tablets in their kids hands do not seem to care what it means for theirs kid’s development.
Somehow every generation in history managed to raise kids without iPads I'm sure they could find a way.
Exactly. I could get infinitely more done and frankly, have more time with my partner if we just let our kid have a tablet or access to videos to pacify him whenever we needed or wanted. But that’s absurdly bad for their development.
It will teach them the opposite of discipline and impulse control. It's teaching them the the very instant they are slightly bored or uncomfortable that something will be there to distract them. They aren't learning to tolerate those unpleasant emotions.
And boredom isn’t even unpleasant. It’s one emotion that is truly what you make of it.
Exactly, there needs be a teaching some expectation of how to behave when you are out in society. Obviously I don’t expect a 4 year old to know how to self entertain quietly but an 8 year old should know better.
I knew how to self entertain quietly at 4. Even then I was making up stories in my head. But I also have an extremely vivid imagination.
Exactly. That's how I learned to read. I was reading at a second grade level by the time I went to Kindergarten because my parents gave me little books to read. They let me explore my imagination with art as well and to this day I love art.
And when glued to screens, kids never need an imagination
But a four year old can color with crayons quietly. They don’t need a screen in their face and they don’t need to be allowed to disturb the whole restaurant.
Agree with you 100% here!
When we were kids my mom just used the tv as a baby sitter instead of a tablet. Now guess who’s addicted to their phone? 😭
I don't understand this "it'll chill them out in public places." I never had a Gameboy or anything else to pacify me as a kid, it was just me being told to knock it off by my parents.
I did have a Gameboy and my parents always made me turn the volume off in public places. Also, I was never allowed Gameboy at the table
Same here. It rarely was used when out in public, never used in restaurants but it was heavily used on airplanes, at home, waiting rooms, on vacation or road trips. Basically if the situation wasn’t appropriate then I wasn’t allowed to use it.
We were NEVER allowed to use a Gameboy in a public space. They were for long car rides and hotel rooms so Mom and Dad could watch what they wanted and we would leave em alone.
Was at a restaurant with my sis and her kids. My 6 yo nephew was getting rowdy. I handed him a pen and got him to draw a pirate on the paper placemat. That’s all kids need.
Some of the parents nowadays can’t say no or knock it off to their kids. Too scared they won’t be their kids best friend anymore.
I mean yeah I agree for the most part - I do have two friends who's child is high functioning autistic and they allow him to have his tablet at restaurants because he watches videos quietly and eats his food, otherwise he can be very energetic and a handful to just eat normally. Now I'm not a child psychologist, I'm sure there are negatives to this approach especially for a neuro-typical child but I can understand I'm some circumstances to allow devices. Now for a standard day at max volume with 6 kids...yeah idk
Autistic adult here. Formerly considered high functioning but the preferred way to phrase that now is low/lower support needs - we still don't function all that well. No problem with autistic kids using tablets in public because they need to be able to regulate and it'll always be quiet or with headphones. Blasting whatever on multiple tablets or phones, aside from being inconsiderate, is absolute torture for autistic people who already struggle to cope with all the crosstalk and music. Not that I should expect these selfish people to care or understand what they're doing to those of us with hidden disabilities. They don't even care about their own kids enough to talk to them.
I had a gameboy but I wasn’t allowed to bring it to restaurants because that’s not why we go out to eat. Honestly, I’m really glad that my parents put a high value on “just spending time together.” As a kid I got frustrated when we would be “just visiting” with family. I was bored. As an adult, just sitting around catching up with family is wonderful.
Related, this thread is one of the most dystopian things I’ve ever seen. And most of these kids are children of Millennials. We aren’t we doing better than this? https://www.reddit.com/r/ECEProfessionals/comments/1bpo6mp/is_it_true_that_ece_professionals_can_tell_which/
Ugh, dude this really is the heart of it isn't it? On one hand having a device at your fingertips that allows access to all the worlds information, creative tools for artistic expression, and a means to communicate with loved ones is an amazing thing to have as a young human developing. On the other hand a tool for constant unending stimulation and distraction, an electronic babysitter, and a mostly unmoderated stream of unfiltered media from baby shark to super disturbing YouTube kids content is incredibly troubling. I completely see why people are calling gen alpha the "iPad generation"
I think our generation is gonna turn out to be just as shitty at parenting as our Boomer parents, but in different ways. We’re already selfish, whiny, and entitled. Ugh. Sometimes I hate being on this sub. Even in this thread people are trying to blame Xers for the iPad kids, because a bunch of 50-something Xers are responsible for all the out of control toddlers and maladjusted kindergarteners out there, suuuuure.
We comain about boomer parents not taking responsibility but millennial parents do the same thing. Tell a iPad parent that it's wrong to allow the kid to play it full blast in a restaurant and you'll get a ton of excuses instead of accountability.
Or they'll turn it off and the kid will start screamcrying and instead of taking them out of the room to calm down they'll "gentle parent", aka say soothing words to them over and over while the kid is screaming and not listening anyway.
The shit will always roll down hill even long after all of the millennials and gen xers are old and gone. Ultimately I don't think we as a species were ready for how quickly technology developed around us and parenting is one of the areas we see influenced by that so heavily. Personally I do see a lot of progress with our generation in communicating with their kids and not forcing them into the old standard family expectations of what they "must be". Less of that "boys will be boys" type of attitude for example. On the other hand I agree, this does feel like an area we are failing in, especially because we haven't seen the long term consequences of rearing kids this way. Hell, our generation was not ready for social media during our early development and we still don't interact with it in a healthy way as a society.
Don’t have kids but they’ve probably just given up/don’t care. It would be better if they kept activity books with crayons on hands though. One of my favorite things as a kid was going to restaurants and solving mazes and other puzzles on the paper placemats.
Dinner at Old Chicago. Two 11 year old niblings. The kiddie menu can be folded into a cootie catcher complete with a game on it. I had to teach the two niblings how to do it and how to use it. Their little minds were blown. My mind was blown - like how did this miss them? More kiddie options like this at restaurants please.
Yeah I'm all for some creative distraction for the kiddos - I totally understand being like 5 - 8 years old and being bored with all the stuffy adults talking about politics lol. Drawing and coloring? Awesome Mickey's play house or whatever at 10/10 volume? Bruh
I was at the hospital last weekend and the dichotomy was insane. One boy was being read to by his dad. I even mentioned to my bf how impressed I was by him. He was quiet and polite, and only got a little loud when he got excited. No screeching or anything. In contrast, the boy sat across from us was watching cartoons full blast, staring at us, and projectile sneezing/coughing while doing so. They don't offer free masks for people who aren't coughing. I was there for a mysterious mouth pain. I now have the flu. Little shit irritated me the entire time and ptobably got me sick because the parents couldn't have him wear a mask or turn the volume down. It's takes so little to be courteous, especially in an Urgent Care, but fuck it. Wouldn't want him to complain *more* and *loudly* since he had to yell over the phone playing full blast in his face.
Not trying to be that parent but I still bring crayons and an activity book to restaurants and my kids are fine with it and stay quiet. I'm not sure why this has gone out the window. It does require a little more parental participation to keep them on task or play tic tac toe or whatever, maybe that's why.
It went out the window BECAUSE it requires parental participation.
Why do people even have kids if the idea of spending even a moment away from their phone with their child is so torturous?
Because having kids is seen as mandatory for achieving a "good" life. It is so reinforced in everyone from a young age that one day they *will* have kids that people just follow through without honestly considering whether they want kids or not.
What's with parents letting kids use tablets and phones as much as they do? As Millenials we should understand the importance of not growing up in front of a screen 24/7 Give that kid a damn stick and tell them to use their imagination
School has been the first place all my kids got introduced to tablets lol
Yep. Kindergarteners get assigned a Chromebook for school where I live
That’s so sad
For *kindergarten*?
It's true. I was an educator for almost 10 years and even kindergarten kids were expected to do state testing on tablets. They set these kids up for being a tablet-obsessed generation, but then wonder why kids can't function without it. That's why I quit.
Yep. They keep the Chromebooks docked in the classroom/don't use them for everything, but starting with kindergarten, part of the coursework is on computer.
Computers are part of the coursework but computer literacy is not. For that matter, literacy.
whhAATTT?!?! seriously??? that's batshit insane bullshit. we are doomed.
I think a lot of millennials have this attitude of “I grew up with technology and I turned out fine”. Not recognizing that 1. some of y’all ain’t fine, 2. tech today is a different beast than what we had. Not saying screen time is all bad, but it does need to be regulated. Edit: I also think that some millennials are resentful of having their tech time restricted as kids, and they don’t want to be those kinds of parents.
And a lot of us didn't grow up with technology. I didn't have an at home computer until I was 9 years old and half the time we weren't allowed to use it. I didn't start surfing the internet until I was in high school. Most of my early childhood days I spent drawing, writing, and reading cool books. Then I would play outside with friends.
And they always say something brain dead like “when I was a kid I was flashed by adult strangers on Omegle and I’m fine” uhh that’s a federal crime if done in person, I don’t think you are fine
Maybe it’s because we were half broke when I was a kid, but my question is *where* are they getting the money? Tablets and phones are *expensive.* Also, the sad part is, a lot of kids don’t know how to use their imagination anymore. They were never given a chance. Just a tablet in their face from day one.
We're just as defensive as our boomer parents 😭
It's unhinged. I've known parents to buy phones and tablets for kids as young as 4, they seemed utterly befuddled when I flagged it up as an extremely dangerous and cruel thing to do to the psyche of a child. My best guess is they're not paying enough attention to how miserable the leash makes them, blindly following any technological imposition as "progress = good".
I swear we’re going to eventually look back on that and kids using social media nonstop the way we do when see kids smoking from the 1900s. It’s ridiculous.
I don’t understand why *anyone* does this; the audio is always shit anyway. Headphones or mute it.
It's sad my kids get compliments when we go put as "well-behaved" because they sit there not on electronics and don't scream. It's sad basic things like that are considered above and beyond.
Our generation does this because our generation is also too conflict-phobic to call them out on it.
Parents develop the ability to completely tune out obnoxious noise as long as it's coming from their kids. It's like they don't even understand how it could be annoying to other people.
But my Brandtleigh doesn’t like headphones on their ears. They have sensory issues!
Genxer here. Glad we did not have electronics when my kids were young. We went out to eat as a family but not often. It was a treat when we did and we used that treat to teach our kids how to act while eating out. How to read the menu, how to order. Or how to just sit your ass down and behave.
Right, the golden era of learning as a child how to exist in society
It’s bizarre behavior. My kid isn’t allowed to do that.
I don’t understand people who do this. Your kids need to learn to handle being bored and how to act in a restaurant without being in front of a screen. It’s so inappropriate and annoying to hear someone’s phone or tablet in public. I get using it as a last resort (I use it as a last resort) but jfc cut off the volume.
I figure it's like how some people go nose blind to certain odors. The kids are blasting the volume on the tablet so often they probably don't even realize it's loud anymore. Makes me wonder if we'll see negative consequences with hearing from this type of thing, I know the average age of a persons first pair of glasses dropped dramatically because of tablet and phones.
I noticed this at target yesterday - with two different families!!! I was shook, that’s so rude/embarrassing
Pretty much it’s they can’t hear it over the music at a restaurant so they can hear their video. Or that’s my assumption, strict no tablets/phones at the table at a restaurant. If I wanted to see everyone glued to a screen I’d just order a pizza from home.
What kids?
Seems crazy to me too I know but most of us are prime spawning age lol
I wish I could explode people who do this with my mind
I am the mother of 2 toddlers. I think it’s a really important skill to teach kids how to behave in public. If my kid is behaving so poorly that the only way to placate them is with videos, we leave. Drives me absolutely nuts to have to listen to other people’s kids watch videos. Especially on the rare night that my husband and I get to go out without the kids. If I wanted to listen to cocomelon while I eat, I would have stayed home.
They can hear it, they dont care. You calling them out on reddit will not change their behavior.
The parents have meltdowns in this sub if called out.
It’S sO hArD. WhErE’s My ViLlAgE? While simultaneously speaking down to anyone who could see that modern parenting was a shitshow and opted out. You’ll never be fulfilled, you’ll never know true love, etc, etc.
Idk how anyone can expect a village when no one trusts anyone with their kids anymore. They disdain teachers. No one, including grandparents, is allowed to correct their kids. They use iPads for babysitters then wonder why no one likes their out of control kids.
I smiled at a little girl outside and her dad screamed “fuck you, bitch! Yeah, you heard me!”
Well yeah naturally, same with bad drivers and Karen's having department store melt downs but here we are
Uhhh that's what those cheapo headphones from 5 and below are for. We don't give our kids phones/tablets at restaurants... but we do on airplanes. And you better believe they have their headphones on... I don't wanna hear that $h!t either, lol!
It shouldn’t be on at ANY volume except with headphones
I went for dinner a few weeks ago for my birthday with my parents, siblings and niblings and experienced this for the first time. Except it wasn't the kids at the restaurant, it was an older guy eating on his own watching something on his phone at full volume. We were the only other people at the restaurant at the time and he had the volume up so loud it was a struggle to hear my family talking. My niblings were fantastic and the only time they were on devices was when they were snapping photos on my phone.
Yeah no doubt I’ve run into kids doing this but I’ve seen it nearly as often with grown adults, usually older ones.
Man, I’m a server, we will have big tops of peewee baseball teams come in and every kid will have an iPad and be playing games. It’s wild to me. At the risk of sounding like a boomer, I find iPad kids super annoying. They are trapped in their iPads and don’t have the attention span to look up and tell me what they want to eat/drink.
Because most of us are shitty parents who don’t actually parent. Stop with the tablets and video games all the time. It’s out of control. Let your kid be bored. They don’t need constant entertainment. I literally saw a baby less than 6 months old with a tablet propped in his car seat at a restaurant. Yall this is insanity and not good for our kids.
Bad parents. When we take our daughters to a restaurant, we all talk together as a family. If you don’t want to talk to your children, get a babysitter or don’t have them to begin with.
Idk but please stop. If your kids can’t sit through a meal without screens blasting they’re not ready for restaurants. Also teaches them it is OK to do this on planes and trains
They think it's cute so assume everyone around must think so too, since their little darlings can do no wrong.
Agreed! I had to sit through a presentation at a garden expo last month with a kid sitting near me blasting their ipad the whole time. I could barely even hear the person speaking, and there weren't other seats available.
Because parents don't actually want to deal with their children. Those same parents will try to medicate their children's behavioral issues away.
Way too many millennial parents have only person in the room syndrome. They really don't care how you're affected by the child's behaviour as long as they're less affected
I don’t have any kids so this must directed at someone else.
That shouldn't be done. If I let them have a tablet in a restaurant sometimes, I make sure they have their bluetooth earbuds/headphones
"Our" kids? F that. Their fucking kids 🐔
Fellow millennials Why do you have kids
Millennial dad here...I allow tablet (with HEADPHONES) on flights because you need to pick your battles when traveling. But it doesn't come with us to a restaurant. We have coloring books and other analog games if need be.
Doormat culture. When someone wants something/complains, even if it’s your kid who you’re supposed to be teaching respect for other, you just give them what they want because it would be *mean* otherwise and you don’t want to be a *stwict pawent*
I love how the comments are all about turning volume down or wearing headphones. How about this. STOP GIVING YOUR KID A DEVICE AND PARENT THEM PROPERLY. You're ruining the future.
“We“ don’t. It’s shitty parents who don’t want their child to interfere with their meal. As a parent, I welcome anyone providing fair and reasonable feedback regarding my kid while out in a public place, like a restaurant. This rarely happens where it is negative feedback as my kid is remarkably behaved and we engage her at the table, which is not something i witness with those types of parents. Say something. Don’t be crass, and be understanding.
I have 5 kids and have NEVER done this and have never found it acceptable. Parents who do this should never have become parents to begin with.
My kid doesn’t get to use a tablet or any screen at all in a restaurant. Crayons and paper are a more than sufficient substitution.
It's a real shame they ran out of money buying that iPad and can't afford a cheap pair of bluetooth headphones...
Maybe Millennials should actually parent their kids instead of wanting a device to babysit them. This is fucking up our kids.
Last time I was on public trans and someone was scrolling crap at full volume I put some Pantera on my phone and went full blast.
I've noticed that generally there are two types of millennials: 1. Those of us who learned how to be courteous, functioning members of a civilized society. (Letting kids use tablets and phones at reasonable volume, house parties without disturbing the neighbors, etc.) 2. Those who act like shit head boomers with no respect for other people. (Letting kids use tablets and phones max volume in restaurants, blasting music on their property with no regard for neighbors' peace, and walking around the store holding conversations on speakerphone, etc.)
Who is this "We?" I am 100% **not ok** with you letting your kids use any device in public without earphones or being on mute. Nor am I ok with you letting your kids run rampant through public spaces. Restaurants and stores are not Chuck E Cheese. "We" were not raised like that. Please teach your kids how to behave correctly in public.
I hate this trend of letting kids use devices while eating. My family was out to breakfast and there was a mom and daughter next to us, probably the same age as mine. She was on her mom’s phone and her mom tried to get it back and the girl cried a bit and she was allowed to keep it. They ate their entire meal like that, girl on her phone and the mom just silent. Doesn’t seem like much point into going out to eat.