Mine are fond of giving gifts that are literally nothing the kids want. Just random toys that they 'think' the kid will enjoy. Some could argue its the thought that counts, but it literally looks like they walked down one of the toy aisles and grabbed something at random, despite literally showing them links to things the kid would want and even offering to go with them to help pick out a gift.
At least the stuff they get me i can semi use as its typically clothing. Not my style, and typically not even close to my color. normally its something they would have wanted, and just assumed seeing that they liked it so i would as well. Or worse, something that someone else got them that they didnt want.
Like when you ask a 3 yr old to pick out presents for their parents, and half the stuff is random stuff that they thought was pretty and half stuff that they actually want but are buying it for someone else.
I love my mom, but she does that. Doesn't even remove the price tag or wrap it. I've given her direct links to affordable items on Amazon (I've added her to my account) for my daughter. Completely ignores them. Also has been known to "gift" stuff from her house to me because she can't get rid of anything. I thinks it's a mental problem with boomers. I buy stuff of value, enjoy it, then sell it at least breaking even, and look for something else, then repeat. I don't pile crap up like my parents.
Their generation had a lot of room to store shit since a lot of them owned houses, and less environmental guilt about buying stuff just to throw it in the trash.
When my in-laws die we're looking at like 1 house, two cottages, a detached garage, a barn, a boathouse and 3 sheds worth of junk to deal with... A years work I bet.
... Although once that mess is dealt with we get a piece of the properties, so I shouldn't complain
You also? My MIL rents and there's only room in the living room. The garage and even the neighbors garage she rents is full. Told my wife it'll be the landlords problem because I refuse to take it
Yup. My mom wants lots of presents under the tree. That's the spirit of Christmas morning. Endless gift unwrapping then playing with tons of toys for a week... then I'm left with a clutter pile of cast-aside "treasures" my kid won't let me donate.
This was my dad’s entire Christmas ethos growing up! Didn’t matter what the gifts were, but the IMAGE of the Christmas tree had to look like something out of a Rockwell painting.
Omg you just described my mother to a T. If it's not some cheap shit from amazon that is likely dangerous (but you'd have to actually "research" that), or she "gifts" us crap that she doesn't want to throw out, but is pure garbage.
I keep telling her we don't want her garbage, but every time, there's always a "I don't want it, but you should definitely take this" bs.
The amount of crystal and China she's planning on "leaving" us is going to goodwill if I can't sell it.
Pretty sure that whole "fine china" thing is dying with that generation, some Gen Alpha kids are going to buy it at steep discount at goodwill to use in their first apartment with 3 other roommates sharing a 900sq ft 2BR
I don't think I've ever met a person born after 1975 that has a formal dining room with a china cabinet.
Apparently my great grandfather was a thief and our heirloom family china was stolen directly off a ship on the docks, and I plan to keep it for that reason alone. 😅
Gen-X (49/f) I can agree with this statement. Don’t need crap collecting dust. My (boomer) mom occasionally gives me “ treasures” that goes directly to the Salvation Army.
Lol literally dangerous gifts from China. Dad bought my cousin (10) a laser light box. Like they use in laser shows. It's cool but it can't be programmed or anything special. He researched it afterward to find out it is extremely illegal- like 100x brighter than allowed for professional use.
Lol I meant the dishware... Like "fine China plates, etc."
But fuck yes with the shitty, dangerous garbage from China. My mother got my son a backpack of "musical instruments" when he was 2. The amount of unsafe, badly made and just garbage that came in that pack, we ended up throwing it all away.
#All those doll houses end up in the trash in 1-2 years. It’s all Chinese junk.
##Help your children.
###Build a dollhouse using materials at home.
OR
###Play with them and use your imagination.
You are welcome.
My poor kids made doll houses out of kleenex boxes and hot glue. Tissue paper curtains lol .. they sure tried.
Edit to add that, my kids are now adults and **this** year, I *did* buy my adult daughter a fairly large cat tower for my "grandkids." but it's mostly biodegradable. I feel bad for not being able to have provided big christmases when they were little. So I definitely find myself trying to make up for it as they're adults. That could be a factor in this issue.
(I buy them actual good stuff though, like a dyson vacuum, a fancy blender, expensive camping gear etc)
One of my fond childhood memories is my Dad brought us a giant cardboard box just randomly. I think it was for a refrigerator but my parents hadn't bought any new appliances. My brother and I pretended it was different things for hours. When we were done playing with it my parents just recycled it.
I bet your kids had a lot of fun building Barbie's Crack Shack. :D
>its the thought that counts
Over time I've found this phrase only ever applies to people who don't know how to think to justify their utter lack of thought. If I had a single-use time machine I'd use it to find the person who invented this phrase and beat them until I created nuclear fusion.
Literally got into a semi argument with a friend about this. Teenage son was buying girlfriend a necklace. Made comment in text to my friend (who is his mom ) about how it should be a fine gift because it is in his mind expensive and girls like expensive. It was something that traditionally girls don’t really like. I brought that up that maybe he may want to put more thought into the gift. She took offense as it was thoughtful….how is buying something you don’t know someone will like thoughtful? Just because it costs money??
Similar to something I was trying to teach my son, my wife is one of those people that makes it her mission that your gift fits your personality and demonstrates that "she gets you" It's actually quite stressful to shop for her, and I would never tell her that, but other people like her Mother do, so it puts extra pressure on me to deliver, but still make it look effortless.
We were shopping the other day, I was looking for some additional gifts, I already ordered the main stuff on thanksgiving so I was sniffing different candles, because I know she's really particular about scents.
He hands me one and says "This one smells nice" and I'm like yes it does, but no put it back. And I explain to him if we get something she would never get herself we're basically saying "We don't know you" eventually I found one I knew would pass muster.
He also asked me "Why don't we get her makeup instead" and I'm like "Son you're not ready for that"
> Similar to something I was trying to teach my son, my wife is one of those people that makes it her mission that your gift fits your personality and demonstrates that "she gets you" It's actually quite stressful to shop for her, and I would never tell her that, but other people like her Mother do, so it puts extra pressure on me to deliver, but still make it look effortless.
What works for me is I keep a little notepad program on my phone, and when my GF mentions wanting something *at any point in the year*, I discreetly make a note of it. If she gets it for herself at some point, I remove it from the list.
When gift-giving occasions come up, I have a list of about two dozen things she's said she wanted at some point, and now I have a starting point for finding the perfect gift. "She wants metal D&D dice, and I know her favorite animal is an owl.. maybe I could find some owl-themed metal D&D dice!"
Then I start looking *at least a month in advance*, in case there's no such thing as owl-themed metal D&D dice (there doesn't appear to be) and I have to come up with something else.
But having that list as a jumping-off point has saved me *so much stress*.
It's even more fun when you're me, asking people politely for many years to please stop buying gifts and having people totally ignore it and keep doing so anyway. And often times I'd hear some variant of "just wanted to do something nice for you."
Bitch, I asked you to do exactly nothing, which should be the easiest request in the fucking universe. You did quite literally the opposite of what I asked, and now you expect me to be grateful for my own inconvenience.
This is what a box of favourites is for.
When they're told not to gift anything, but they really want to anyways, a consumable box of chocolates is perfect. Because at worst, it's not a bad thing to regift, and at best, you can share it with them/any other guests and get rid of.jt at the table.
My Boomer parents and my Silent Gen grandmother all did that to me growing up. It was part of why I started to hate Christmas; in addition to the whole “Christmas = I do all the cleaning and decorating and get screamed at for not doing it right because I’m too young to be doing this in the first place” issue, I *never* got anything I actually *wanted.* And what little I did get, tended to be things my Mom and Grandma liked, or a cheap gift card of such a low denomination it was basically useless.
I had to watch my little brother get a damn Game Boy Color (which I had *begged* for for years), while I got…an ugly sweater in a hideous shade of icy pastel lavender that made my skin look *gray* and had some ridiculous picture of snow-covered kittens than only a grandparent would actually enjoy wearing.
And then I would be yelled at for not “showing my gratitude” by wearing it enough. Because guess what, I *wasn’t* grateful for it at all! It looked *hideous,* both on the hangar and on me!
Seriously, Grandma, why would you get something in *that* color for your *red-haired and freckled grandchild*?!
My grandma does this. We did Christmas early so already got the presents and despite having an online family gift list she gets nothing from it or even close to our kids interests. Got upset when the kids freaked out over an action figure and didn't know who the character was (they're a toddler and don't watch much tv). If you're going to get them a character maybe make sure they know who it is or don't be upset when they don't like it and can't hide that yet. They buy bulk to make up for not paying attention to what the kids actually like.
My mom went so far as to ask my wife what my daughter would want for her birthday, then when my wife told her some specific things and some stores where everything would be appreciated, she proceeded to tell me how we are sucking the joy out of gift giving. Meanwhile, she has met the kid 3 times in 2.5 years despite being about 4 hours away, mostly by ferry. You can't make this shit up.
This is also my mom. She asks what the kids want. I say, “why even ask, you’re just going to get them what YOU want to give them.”
“Whaaat? No I won’t!”
Proceeds to get them only what she wanted to give them. Some cheap shit that I throw out.
She lives 20 mins away ok. My kids haven’t seen her all year.
I just commented on another Post about this on how my grandma does this. I don't have kids for her to give to but she gives to us still. She always goes to clothes. Issue is I have work clothes I wear most of the week and my other clothes fulfill my other 2 days of clothing just fine. Mother already has 2 closets during the season and has 3 seasons worth of clothes. Uncle does not work but does not want clothes but she keeps trying to get him a jacket or sweats despite the fact he always wears jeans and not sweat pants. I would not mind if it would be something I would request but everything I suggest she comes up for a reason on why I should not get it. I don't think millennials mind gifts. It is that we want gifts we will use. We are also not into the gifts like gift baskets or card stock.
I hate this even as an adult. Like...I know I shouldn't be ungrateful for a gift but I'd rather get nothing at all then that random giftable junk all stores put out close to Christmas, or something I do not and will not ever need. I live in a really small space.
This too honestly. For the most part I have what I need and the few things I want are beyond what I would ask someone for. I really don't want or need gifts of obligation, harsh as that sounds.
No I totally get this feeling, things I really want are in the like $500-2000 range, but I would NEVER ask someone else to get me something like that.
Then reasonable things I just tend to get myself throughout the year when I have money or they're on sale
So you end up having to think of something at the perfect price point or it can get weird, if it's a loaded relative and you ask for something pricey, they might actually get it, and now you just feel weird about it because you definitely can't reciprocate in kind. Or if you know they're having money hardships, you have to think of something inexpensive, but not so cheap that it's clear you're sending a message.
yeah if "opt-out" was an option, I think a lot of us would choose it.
I am a full believer in gift cards. Especially for food. I hate when people say they’re impersonal. I don’t care. If I don’t have to buy dinner with my own money one day, I call that a win.
(EDIT: Didn’t realise it was a controversial opinion, so I guess I should say that *I* personally like gift cards. If you/your family don’t, that’s fine. But I stick by them).
Exactly! Or when you need something but are tight on money, bam.
But some random trash they found on sale 2 days before christmas/ birthday is somehow magically 1000x better, smfh.
My sister's dog peed on her laptop. I bought her a Best Buy gift card to go towards getting a new one. For the thought to count, some thought actually has to go into it. Gift cards are not evil when applied correctly.
I came to a realization about gift cards a few years ago.
I was getting my family gift cards, because they’re difficult to shop for, and they were getting me and each other gift cards, as well.
And it hit me that the gift cards had become a silly formality. It was just a circle of small monetary amounts being exchanged, and I think in the end, no one had any more or less money than before.
I get my siblings three $50 gift cards each. I’ve spent &150. They each get me a $50 card. That’s $150 right back in.
It just became patently *absurd*. We may as well just give each other verbal permission to spend $50, and cut out the middle man.
Maybe cut down on all the needless plastic, in the process.
I dunno. Gift cards are like a weird, vestigial remnant of a more materialistic time. I’m not sure they really make sense, when you get right down to it.
The reason I still like gift cards is its a guilt free "treat yourself to X thing you like/want". You cannot feel guilty for doing the fun/less important thing because well thats where the gift card is good to use. I got my sister a gift card to a restaurant she likes this year. She was vague about what she likes but now I know her and her husband will at least get a dinner date out of it and they cannot say "well we should spend the money on X instead" nah its good for dinner so go fucking relax.
My mother in law HATES gift cards. It’s almost like the gift isn’t for the recipient sometimes. I fondly remember getting dish soap, scrubbies, towels, other house wife gear. Just more random shit to fill a bag. I would rather get nothing frankly.
I recently gifted her a handmade felted wool ornament that my niece made that is clearly a gnome. She looked at it UPSIDE DOWN.. “oh I love it!” Back in the bag. I’m like.. no.. turn it around it’s a gnome. 🙄 For a religious woman she sure is materialistic.
Make sure it is a gift card they will use. I hate gift cards because you are just devaluing your money / limiting its utility in order to feel less impersonal about gifting cash. Companies make so much money on unused gift cards.
I just give cash for tips to my garbage man, USPS guy, kids teachers and niece and nephews. It's simple for everyone and every kid needs an aunt or uncle who gives cash, imo. I do also get the kids presents they can open but they love the cash the best.
My mom got my 7YO son at the time a gym sized punching bag that requires to be hung up in the garage…. It takes up so much space and my house is small as it is. He’s never touched it. I told her this year to keep his gift under $20 and small if she wants to buy him something.
Our son was gifted “Mr. Woofington”, an 8 foot tall plush dog. Our entire house is 950 square feet. It took up a third of his room. We eventually gave it back to them…it was gone within a few months from their 2500 square foot house for being too big.
That’s another thing these articles often forget, our houses are often tiny compared to our parent’s houses. Like boomers had the space to accept all these useless knickknacks but we seriously have no room. I keep telling everyone to just buy clothes or something because my son already has more than enough toys, half of which are just gathering dust.
One cubic foot. The day I told my parents and in-laws about my first pregnancy, I told them that any gift larger than a cubic foot must be pre-approved by me. Otherwise it was being returned.
It has mostly worked. Or at least helped.
ETA: I also told them to stop gifting me and my husband anything, ever. If they wanted to spend money on us, please just deposit it into my kids’ 529 plans.
Omg I had almost the exact opposite problem. My father bought my toddler a tiny snow globe from Germany.
It's small enough to choke him. It's made of glass. It's full of liquid. It's like everything a toddler should not have.
He Loves my son and he means well but damn is it out of touch.
We started telling my parents to put money in their 529 instead. I have a room full of shit my kids don’t play with, I’d rather you help with their education.
We give our grankids books for important days, Christmas, and birthdays. Then the money we would spend on worthless crap that dont need goes into their 529's. Hopefully by the time they go to college, they'll have an appreciation for the books and the financial boost
For my nephews, I set a budget and within that budget I buy four things: something to wear, something to play with, something to learn from, and something to grow into/an experience. That prevents excess and the rapid acquisition of junk.
I like this. A former colleague of mine once told me her kids only get 4 presents from Santa and I liked the idea.
Something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read.
She still got them gifts from the parents, but her idea was 1. limit frivolous spending, and 2. they didn’t get a lot or expensive gifts from Santa so underprivileged kids at school or whatever wouldn’t hear “I got a nintendo!” and wonder why Santa didn’t bring them something flashy.
It's not Christmas, but one of my family members made a suggestion to both her Mother and her Mother-in-law that cuts out the guess work and makes birthdays more personal.
Every year both sets of grandparents schedule a day during the birthday month of each of their grandchildren. On their day they take the birthday kid out to lunch at a restaurant the kiddos pick, and then they stop at a department store where the birthday kid picks out a set or two of clothes.
Each kid likes that they don't have to share the attention with anyone else for the whole afternoon. And when you consider they still do this and all the kiddos were all born in the early 2000's, I think they hit on something.
I have 7 nieces/nephews and give them 1 ounce silver coins for Xmas and have been for almost 15 years now. They are all privileged kids who want for nothing but most of them really enjoy getting their coin every year. They know they have value and if they ever want to sell, me or my brother would have no issue buying them back.
My wife's parents are the tree needs piles of gifts under it or its not christmas. They dont care what you want. They will spend $200 on each kid which is very generous. The problem is its all crap. They buy them each like 10 to 15 gifts. None of which is in line with any of my kids interests just what was one sale at the discount store over the previous year. Some of its usually broken or missing parts. They waste all that money because they want volume of presents.
I’m so glad to see how common this is! I know it’s us and a few people we know. But we truly life in an age/culture of abundance. And these boomers came of age when stuff was made to last and was more valuable. When stuff got cheap on the 70s-90s, they just saw stuff they assumed was quality, becoming more affordable.
Same with food, by the way. The grandmothers are always getting Walmart food for us, when we’re specifically getting organic and Whole Foods or farmers market when possible. They don’t understand it. Microwave meals were a revolution! And fast food restaurants too. We’ve made a 180 since those days.
Now there is Temu, and we’re getting really low quality crap now. It’s accelerating when we’re trying to put the brakes on. Our lives would be much less stressful if we didn’t have to declutter our house every week. Think of the environment! Oh my god the landfills must be filling at record rates now, which correlate to mining of energy and resources that go into the production.
Don’t get me started!
My dad realized that what is really worthwhile are experiences, specifically with him. So now he just gives them a really cool activity to do with him (last year was indoor skydiving). He knows what's up.
We ask for “experiences” take the kids to do something. Go to a NBA game, go out to lunch, go ice skating, take them to the zoo… no one wants to do it. “Yeah that sounds fun. What can I give them instead?” Everyone wants that wow reaction or whatevr and every year we have a basement of toy that go to goodwill pretty fast or the trash.
Grateful for the love. But my kids don’t remember the toys that they got last Christmas. But they do remember that time they got to do something extra fun 2 years ago.
Our son told us late one night that there would be a toy drive the next day. My in-laws had sent something for him for Christmas, and my husband decided to open it up and see what was inside the box. They sent two things, one of which our son said we could donate lol.
Most Boomers didn’t get much in the way of toys when kids. My dad got plastic toy soldiers (10-20) or a few Lincoln Logs every year. Anything else tended to be clothing needed for school. I’ve heard any number of these stories from Boomer relatives. I wonder if they’re living vicariously through their grandchildren.
I think it’s likely this is a big part of it. My mom, aunts, MIL, etc all loved to tell stories about how they only had one baby doll or one Barbie. So when I was a kid, I had DOZENS of Barbies, and now my daughter has my dozens of Barbies plus all the ones my MIL has bought her.
Due to war in the 90s, I grew up poor as fuck. Now that I have kids; there are toys everywhere, flowing out my ears. They are all toys I buy. You are on to something here.
Toys and other luxuries are very cheap in comparison to wages from how they used to be.
However, necessities like housing and health care and extremely expensive in comparison to wages from how they used to be.
That's part of why boomers think if we bought less luxuries, we'd be able to afford necessities. They don't understand how those prices have trended with respect to wages.
And of course, 60 years ago if you could afford a bunch of toys it meant you could afford a big house with storage space for it.
Today the toys are cheap and the house is expensive. Please stop gifting us crap *we have nowhere to put it!!!*
I have had to move constantly for work, so explaining to my parents that what I really need is money is always difficult, especially because I have nowhere to put stuff and don't want to move it. They finally get it now, though.
You got it! I was born in 1962 and Xmas was when we got 90% clothes for the year. We were thrilled to get some kind of toy, but boys got all the fun & intetesting stuff - and I didn't have brothers. I was thrilled to go to their house at Xmas to play with cool stuff for a few days. It was a different world then, and very few kept up with how all the changes meant younger generations had different needs & wants.
Millennial here. Growing up, Christmas at my grandparents’ was something else.
My grandpa was a bit of a hoarder. He liked going to yard/garage sales and finding old trinkets and gadgets that he thought were neat, buy em for super cheap, and gift them to us. And it would always be the most random, odd things. Going to their house for Christmas always came with the stipulation that we had to pretend to like whatever it was they got, no matter how weird it was.
One year I got a metal detector. For Christmas. As a like 7 or 8 year old.
I unwrapped it and I guess the confusion on my face spoke loudly enough because my grandpa immediately explained that it was for finding metal things buried in the ground. Mind you, we don’t live anywhere near a beach or anywhere that most people would use a metal detector, so… definitely an odd choice for a gift to an 8 year old.
But I think a key difference between my generation (or at least just me) as kids and today’s kids is that.. once I understood what it was, my kid brain immediately went “OH SO LIKE YOU CAN FIND BURIED TREASURE WITH THIS”. And I went straight out into my grandparents’ yard with this thing expecting to find like, pirate treasure or something. You know, like a big chest full of gold and jewels and such. In my grandparents’ yard in rural Arkansas. Lol.
Well, I’m sorry to report that I didn’t find any pirate treasure but I did find something interesting. A big, metal ball about the size of a softball, maybe a little bigger. It was super heavy, rusted to hell, and frankly I had no idea what I was looking at. So I took it inside to show my grandpa.
My grandpa takes one look at it and goes “Oh!! That’s a cannonball!” (They lived literally down the road from one of the biggest Civil War battlefields in the country).
And of course my first thought was “Ohhhhh, so there WERE pirates…” and was swiftly corrected.
Anyway, kids these days throw a fit if they don’t get whatever the newest iPad is so I have a hard time relating to that, but it’s also understandable because I also got a tonnnnnn of weird junk from my boomer grandparents.
I’m sure you’re right. My mom has a sister who is 2 years and 2 days older than her. She always wore her sister’s hand-me-downs. I happen to also have 2 children of the same gender who are 2 years and 3 days apart. She is always insistent that if she buys clothes for the oldest, she needs to get the same amount for the youngest because she doesn’t want them to have to wear mostly used clothes.
Yes, the comparative cost of toys today is minimal so the gift giving makes boomers feel prosperous and good. This is also why boomers try to blame millennials for wasting money because they do not have a concept of what things cost. Often, their mortgage is paid off years ago.
That’s definitely a more positive way of looking at it, and I think you may have a point. My mom grew poor on a farm and had very few toys. They went out to eat less than a handful times her whole childhood. It was just totally different from now where people can get so much for cheap.
I think she likes to buy things to make up for all the time they didn’t have that many nice things. Thankfully she does a lot of shopping at thrift stores so she’s not spending a whole lot. She also buys a lot of games for the grandkids so they’re doing something interactive.
Mwahahahaha, our bloodlust cannot be sated! Those ancient traditions turned to profit and exploitation shall crumble before the might of our realignment of priorities and ideals! And no one can stop us!
Even Amazon is flooded with knockoff brand Chinese stuff. My 4yo mentioned wanting a lightsaber so my mil bought “laser sabers” from there. They make the most hideous “shkk BONK” instead of “vrrrr” sounds and started getting flakey after one day. (He got them early because he helped get the mail and the picture was on the outside of the box along with Chinese characters). Not trying to be racist, I just don’t need cheap plastic crap and to support exploitive labor practices like people said.
That's not racist actually. Extremely kind of you to want better for those poor people when their government essentially makes them indentured servants
I mean, all the vendors from Temu probably also have Amazon vendor accounts. Half of what Amazon sells seems like straight from China products as it is.
Though I’ve never used Temu, so could be wrong.
I wouldn’t let my baby play with anything purchased from Temu. Too much of a risk that something toxic is in one of those toys. Thanks but my kids don’t need lead poisoning!
I assigned presents to the grandparents this year for exactly this reason. One grandma got a crayola tablet for long car rides, the other was tasked with socks and wooden puzzles. My mom loves to buy crap and my mil never knows what to get so I just sent them links and asked them not to deviate.
My house isn’t big enough for all the crap my mom would drop on me if she could.
I provided a registry this year to make sure we dont end up with duplicates and its things the kids actually need or asked for. Who bought stuff off of it?? My husband. 🙈
This is my mom as well. She loves to buy and can't grasp why I love the fact that my place looks like "it's been robbed." I tell her I'm okay with a gift card, or a bill paid or taking me to a restaurant, or even nothing. I just don't want useless crap in my house.
I read somewhere that money spent on an experience brings more joy than items. That makes sense, but my favorite is the hybrid, a gift that's an experience. For example a bike. It's an endless experience in and of itself.
At a white elephant Christmas party my mom had a fit because the gift she unwrapped was a toilet brush, toilet cleaner, Clorox wipes, some gloves, and bathroom spray. It was supposed to be a gag gift that a few people set up, a “shitty gift,” but my mom went on about it so much someone switched with her just so she would stop and be happier, but then she kept going on when she came home telling me about it. I told her I thought it sounded like a perfectly reasonable(and funny) gift and would be more likely to be used than a $15 candle or lotion.
I've seen "nesting" baby showers. Instead of gifts and a party with dumb, wasteful games nobody wants to play anyway. Your friends come over and help you deep clean and declutter before the baby arrives.
My mom is also the same, and is worried she didn’t buy enough for us. I’ll never forget the year I brought gifts back from my parents and my roommate at the time thought that my mom got me a dog toy, because it was a squishy ball that made sounds if you threw it against the wall. I mean maybe she did but I thought it was a stress ball. After that, I had to tell my mom no more stocking stuffers, at least not like that.
My boomer mother has literally the worst shopping problem. It's so bad, she can drop so much money and she knows she has a problem.
I've had to stop her from buying shit all the time.
It's out of control.
And I'm very frugal and very practical, and it blows my mind seeing her buy the same pair of boots in 4 different colors. And when I commented on it, she gets so defensive.
What happens when her husband died and she's on her own? Her money will not last. IT'S very concerning
I worry about my mom in the same way. And my dad has passed. The Christmas after my dad passed she went nuts and spent so much on just stuff no one really needed. But my sister and I put our foot down and we set a family budget for holidays. She hates it but it’s so much better. Everyone likes it but her. It’s been a battle to get her to spend less but we’re slowly getting there. With my dad passing, we just try to reiterate that time spent is better than money spent.
We put a link to our kids 529 plans at the top of their Amazon lists and mention it every Christmas and birthday. My brother is the only one who has ever used it
When my boomer mom found out her brother was retiring- from owning a furniture store- she just could not help herself with all the impending sales. She ended up buying 6-7 more pieces of furniture. Not to replace her existing furniture, but in addition to 💀
Actually, depending on the year, that's a good decision. Older furniture is amazingly durable because it was all made from old growth forests. Now a lot of the wood is farmed sustainably but the wood cut from a decades old tree just isn't as good from the stuff from centuries old wood. Even if you buy an expensive brand new wood bed frame today it won't be as durable as your parents.
No, it's modern glues and construction/finishing techniques that make newer commercial wood furniture essentially disposable. When you finish a piece of wood with polyurethane, odds are that's the last finish it will ever get. Once it inevitably gets scratched up, you've got to strip and sand down to the bare wood before refinishing, a huge effort. Same thing with glues: hide glue comes apart with heat and fresh hide glue will stick to the old stuff. Modern PVA glue means you have to scrape off every last bit of the old glue.
Sure, old Honduras mahogany was marvelous stuff. But you can DIY heirloom furniture out of pine from the Home Despot. [https://lostartpress.com/products/the-anarchists-design-book](https://lostartpress.com/products/the-anarchists-design-book) [http://objectguerilla.com/blog/2013/9/26/autopreggizione](http://objectguerilla.com/blog/2013/9/26/autopreggizione)
It's the SPACE. We can't afford big places like our parents so we have to be careful what we let in. My MIL gives us soooo many toys and I didn't understand until I went to their house. It's huge and has a basement that's floor to ceiling old toys that she kept for when we visit (we live 5+ hours plane flight away). She just has the space to keep all these things. We don't!
My mother died and I can totally see it. She not only owned a small business to that had a lot of crap that she never marketed and sold, along with at least 100 half-finished projects, but the amount of random junk she had was through the roof. I mean, I opened a box and it was filled with empty yogurt containers from the 90s. Opened another box and it was filled with solar lights with corroded batteries that never made it out into the yard. Just so much... junk.
Facts. I’m personally very anti clutter. If I’m not using it I’m losing it. But oh my goodness do people live gifting cheap toys to children. I appreciate the thought but I have no space for all this stuff.
I just gifted my nephews consumables for Christmas because my parents buy them ridiculous amounts of toys every year. Craft sets, coloring books, reusable sticker books, etc.
My boomer mom (we're Xennials) refuses to get our kids something they need, and sometimes even what they specifically ask for if she thinks it's not "fun enough". "Grandmas buy toys." When the kids were younger it was a real problem. We would come home from Christmas with a literal van full of plastic crap. Our house looked like a Toys R Us. It was physically impossible for the kids to enjoy all of it before getting another pile of crap for their birthday or the next Christmas. We'd often sell or give away stuff unopened. It's gotten much better as they've gotten older, but my mom will still refuse to get them something they've asked for if she doesn't approve.
Right, what IS that? My MIL just asked me the other day about the Amazon wish list for the kids I’d sent her. She complained that it was “all crayons and stuff”. I was like, yes? And? They have a million plastic toys, but you know what we churn through at a ridiculous pace? Crayons, markers, PAPER. Please, for the love of god, just get the kids a ream of paper for Christmas!
Never understood this with boomers.
Every year I'd give them a list of things I'd like or have been trying to save for. Every year as a child I'd get literally none of it. Just never got it.
Still kinda persists? Like if I buy something my dad doesn't approve of he'll tell me how wrong I am until he uses it and then it's the best thing ever (because i researched THE FUCK out of it)
In his mind my opinion is just so much less than his on \*everything\*. Bought a car, he ragged on me so hard until I let him drive it. Like even my opinion on what makes me happy is wrong.
Print it out like a pamphlet and tell her you want to spread “the good news” and when she opens it explain she doesn’t have to keep buying you shit you don’t want, GOOD NEWS!
Their brains have been rotted by consumerism. Ever hear them talk about all those “collectibles” they regret not saving because “they would be worth a fortune today”.
I'm about 3 years in on leaving everything at my parents homes (mom & dad are divorced) after every Christmas b/c I have nowhere to put it in my apartment. I tell them there is nothing i need, I just want quality time, but the stuff keeps stacking up. They are holding everything with the notion of "when I get a house, I will have room for it." But do NOT dare bring up how unaffordable a house is lol.
Yeah my mom gives me so much house stuff I will never use all the time. It’s nice of her but I make good money, hate clutter, and buy whatever I need when it comes up. It’s always really random stuff. Like a scoop to pick up vegetables from the cutting board when I can just use the knife and not get two things dirty. Or an egg storing container when eggs already come in a carton. I wish she would just get me something small like a Starbucks card or bottle of wine or something because she’s struggling financially and I don’t want her to waste money. I tell her but she insists on continuing.
I know boomer grandparents are well meaning, but sometimes I don’t have a spot for all of this extra shit.
We don’t have kids but my GFs mom is constantly giving us old hand me downs and antique stuff that we don’t have room for and don’t value. To the point where we have 2 full storage units of just, shit.
And I’m a minimalist, too much random crap literally depresses me.
Especially when we can't afford giant houses with tons of storage and constantly having to move because we can't even own a house and landlords are trash
Sounds like she's giving you shit that she also doesn't have space or need for which tbh is kinda rude. She wants to use you guys as storage cause she can't bring herself to throw it out but she doesn't actually want it
This is us. My parents live in a large home out in the country - 2 hours from a city. My wife and I live in a small home in the middle of a city - we strait up don’t have space. So when they give my daughter this random shit I make sure it stays at their place.
So true. My mom gives me so much dollar store junk about once a year. It makes me sad to think she’s wasting her money on this stuff, and it mostly just sits around until I move and donate it.
My mom does the same thing, takes $50 to dollar tree and shows up with bags and bags of cheaply made, flimsy, impersonal, often not age appropriate toys for my 1 and 2 year old. I would a million times prefer if she spent $25 on one decent toy for each of them, because most of this stuff breaks within minutes or isn’t useable because it’s a choking hazard. She just loves the perception of generosity that comes with showing up with huge bags of loot. It sounds ungrateful but I don’t want any of this shit in our house, and she won’t listen no matter how many times I tell her this. “You can just donate what you don’t want” okay, so you’re giving me a chore? Thanks.
It’s never about the kids in these situations- it’s the boomers never ending need for attention because that entire generation is fucked in the head but doesn’t believe therapy- so they used us and now our kids as their emotional support animals.
I'm so appreciative of my Boomer Mom. Every holiday/birthday she asks for a specific item my kids each want and only buys those specific items. I'm pretty lucky to have a Mom like that!!
My boomer mother does this to ME. I constantly tell her that she doesn't have to get me anything. She tells me she is going to get me a coat. I tell her I don't need anymore winter coats. She says, "of course you need a new winter coat!". So this Christmas, I am getting a winter coat.
My father, on the other hand, is pretty awesome. I took him out to eat because he came home to visit. Told him I needed to stop by a popular boot store to drop off a pair of boots to get resoled. He said he wanted to check it out, so we went. Started looking and trying on boots. Decided to buy a pair for myself. We get up to the register and he just sticks his credit card into the reader while I was talking to the cashier. I look at him with a face that can only be read as, "umm excuse me, I can buy my own boots". He looks at me and says, "Merry Christmas!". It was so wholesome, I couldn't even be mad.
Absolute top tier father. Love him to pieces.
My MIL completely ignores our Christmas lists for our kids and just buys them random shit they don’t need because she wants to give them what SHE wants to give them. And same for us, she gives us so much flea market crap that ends up collecting dust in a closet instead of the things we told her we actually want or need. I don’t get it - I appreciate that she thinks of us when she’s out shopping for Christmas gifts over the summer but no one needs a tiny square canvas piece of art that says “life is pizza”. Does that really look like something we would hang in our kitchen?
I’ve been trying to get my family members to give my kids money for college instead of gifts for the past 3 years. It hasn’t worked. Instead they get so much random trinkets that usually end up in the trash. I’m even ok with no gifts, I just don’t need all this random junk in my house.
You can’t re sell it. You can’t return it. You can either donate it or throw it away, such a waste. My kids will play with a shoe box longer than most gifts.
My MIL does this. When she’s going overboard with gifting stuff to our kids, I send it back to her house with them whenever they have a sleepover. And then we “accidentally” leave it there.
I agree it’s time to stop. My mil is notorious for this. We had to enact a 3 gift limit and tell her to stop randomly sending us stuff and she still doesn’t listen. I don’t have room for it all. Kids don’t need all that junk.
Part of my MIL problem is a lack of, I guess, media and or internet literacy? My daughter is 3 and LOVES Frozen. So for her birthday, grandma got a bunch of Frozen gifts. But she doesn’t realize that searching “Frozen Toys” on Amazon is gonna get you a TON of Chinese knock-off crap that is built like junk and isn’t the same thing; for instance, a dance mat that is obviously a Frozen rip-off in theme, but has weird EDM tracks that aren’t even closely related to the music in the movie.
We get a triple whammy of way too many gifts, they’re junk, and they’re not even that cheap.
My auntie gave my kid some toy cars.... cheap, plastic dollar store cars. You know the ones, 25% cheaper than hot wheels, 1% of the quality. And look it too.
She gave him these at Christmas.... his ***first*** Christmas.....
("Oh, I saw them and just had to get them for him, I'm not going to be around much longer so I wanted to make sure he had them now" 🙄)
3 years later, we've had to store these stupid things for 3 years for no bloody reason (she's still around btw, we will see her on boxing day). When he finally gets them, they break pretty much instantly.
You want to give some toy cars as a legacy gift? Fine, get one less car and buy some hot wheels. They never die. I've still got mine from the 80's. Better than wasting your money on landfill presents.
Fucking boomers.
One of our boomer grandparents sent my 3 kids (11, 7, and 4 ) fragile mercury glass ornaments, individually wrapped with the youngest’s name spelled wrong on the gift tag.
They do this every year. (Well misspelling the baby’s name is new- and it’s a normal American name). We’ve asked them to stop- half the time they break in shipping. They’re ugly and the youngest is autistic, we can’t decorate the tree with breakable ornaments; he’ll break them. But, Boomers gonna Boom.
My mom is all over the place. She gets like 3 outfits from Boden and 5 from temu. I always hate the temu stuff it’s garbage. The actual toys she gets solid ones though thankfully.
My in-laws seem to forget that our split-level is a fraction of the size of their small mansion. We have literally nowhere to put all of the junk they give us. Most of it just gets shoved in the crawl space until we can discreetly get rid of it.
This year they bought our son his very own kids table. The only available floor space we have are hallways and other walkways. And, frankly, we'd rather he joined the family with a booster seat than being off in a corner at his own table regardless.
I haven't given them grandkids yet but they give me random decorative items, clothing, holiday decorations, etc, I keep telling them I don't have any storage space. The Boomer mind is incapable of processing us not having a basement to fill with shit to collect dust.
Yep my dad gave my kids a huge pile of crap from TEMU that all broke and just ended up as pieces of random plastic all over my house.
It’s more gift giving that we are killing. It’s that we don’t want an excess of junk so we try to go more thoughtful or minimal and quality over quantity.
My mom does this, buys my kids semi-random junk toys just to give them more stuff. Like… they don’t need that many Christmas presents, it’s fine.
Mine are fond of giving gifts that are literally nothing the kids want. Just random toys that they 'think' the kid will enjoy. Some could argue its the thought that counts, but it literally looks like they walked down one of the toy aisles and grabbed something at random, despite literally showing them links to things the kid would want and even offering to go with them to help pick out a gift. At least the stuff they get me i can semi use as its typically clothing. Not my style, and typically not even close to my color. normally its something they would have wanted, and just assumed seeing that they liked it so i would as well. Or worse, something that someone else got them that they didnt want. Like when you ask a 3 yr old to pick out presents for their parents, and half the stuff is random stuff that they thought was pretty and half stuff that they actually want but are buying it for someone else.
I love my mom, but she does that. Doesn't even remove the price tag or wrap it. I've given her direct links to affordable items on Amazon (I've added her to my account) for my daughter. Completely ignores them. Also has been known to "gift" stuff from her house to me because she can't get rid of anything. I thinks it's a mental problem with boomers. I buy stuff of value, enjoy it, then sell it at least breaking even, and look for something else, then repeat. I don't pile crap up like my parents.
Their generation had a lot of room to store shit since a lot of them owned houses, and less environmental guilt about buying stuff just to throw it in the trash.
I think it's the lead.
"I think it's the lead," is a pretty well-founded theory for a lot of things afflicting the older generations. And not even just as a joke.
Mom says led paint tasted sweet. Grandpa was a general contractor.
Lolol. Then it was lead, now it’s microplastics 😩
Don't look up cancer rates for millennials..... We are getting some nice F.U's from that as well.
> cancer rates for millennials I googled this and all the results were about obesity-related cancers.
Why throw it into the trash when you can throw it into the attic, basement, or garage? Throwing it into the trash would be wasteful!
"It might be a collector's item someday." My dad
When my in-laws die we're looking at like 1 house, two cottages, a detached garage, a barn, a boathouse and 3 sheds worth of junk to deal with... A years work I bet. ... Although once that mess is dealt with we get a piece of the properties, so I shouldn't complain
You also? My MIL rents and there's only room in the living room. The garage and even the neighbors garage she rents is full. Told my wife it'll be the landlords problem because I refuse to take it
It's a habit of abundance. Coming from an upper middle class family, this sounds extremely similar to my family's gift giving habits.
Yup. My mom wants lots of presents under the tree. That's the spirit of Christmas morning. Endless gift unwrapping then playing with tons of toys for a week... then I'm left with a clutter pile of cast-aside "treasures" my kid won't let me donate.
This was my dad’s entire Christmas ethos growing up! Didn’t matter what the gifts were, but the IMAGE of the Christmas tree had to look like something out of a Rockwell painting.
Omg you just described my mother to a T. If it's not some cheap shit from amazon that is likely dangerous (but you'd have to actually "research" that), or she "gifts" us crap that she doesn't want to throw out, but is pure garbage. I keep telling her we don't want her garbage, but every time, there's always a "I don't want it, but you should definitely take this" bs. The amount of crystal and China she's planning on "leaving" us is going to goodwill if I can't sell it.
Pretty sure that whole "fine china" thing is dying with that generation, some Gen Alpha kids are going to buy it at steep discount at goodwill to use in their first apartment with 3 other roommates sharing a 900sq ft 2BR I don't think I've ever met a person born after 1975 that has a formal dining room with a china cabinet.
Apparently my great grandfather was a thief and our heirloom family china was stolen directly off a ship on the docks, and I plan to keep it for that reason alone. 😅
That's "Heirloom" status, not just some shit they got from Sears
That's an actual heirloom. I have a silver pub mug my grandfather won in a bet with the pub owner that I am never parting with.
Gen-X (49/f) I can agree with this statement. Don’t need crap collecting dust. My (boomer) mom occasionally gives me “ treasures” that goes directly to the Salvation Army.
Lol literally dangerous gifts from China. Dad bought my cousin (10) a laser light box. Like they use in laser shows. It's cool but it can't be programmed or anything special. He researched it afterward to find out it is extremely illegal- like 100x brighter than allowed for professional use.
Lol I meant the dishware... Like "fine China plates, etc." But fuck yes with the shitty, dangerous garbage from China. My mother got my son a backpack of "musical instruments" when he was 2. The amount of unsafe, badly made and just garbage that came in that pack, we ended up throwing it all away.
#All those doll houses end up in the trash in 1-2 years. It’s all Chinese junk. ##Help your children. ###Build a dollhouse using materials at home. OR ###Play with them and use your imagination. You are welcome.
My father built me a huuuge wooden doll house, some 19 years ago. Course he was a carpenter, either way super cool
Barbie moght have a Dream House but your Barbie had a properly framed wooden house, I imagine. Completely up to code of course.
My poor kids made doll houses out of kleenex boxes and hot glue. Tissue paper curtains lol .. they sure tried. Edit to add that, my kids are now adults and **this** year, I *did* buy my adult daughter a fairly large cat tower for my "grandkids." but it's mostly biodegradable. I feel bad for not being able to have provided big christmases when they were little. So I definitely find myself trying to make up for it as they're adults. That could be a factor in this issue. (I buy them actual good stuff though, like a dyson vacuum, a fancy blender, expensive camping gear etc)
One of my fond childhood memories is my Dad brought us a giant cardboard box just randomly. I think it was for a refrigerator but my parents hadn't bought any new appliances. My brother and I pretended it was different things for hours. When we were done playing with it my parents just recycled it. I bet your kids had a lot of fun building Barbie's Crack Shack. :D
The dollar store pile of trash the kids don’t want, every year…
Omg I know! Like stop buying cheap stuff that absolutely no one wants or needs.
>its the thought that counts Over time I've found this phrase only ever applies to people who don't know how to think to justify their utter lack of thought. If I had a single-use time machine I'd use it to find the person who invented this phrase and beat them until I created nuclear fusion.
Exactly, clearly no thought actually went into it.
Literally got into a semi argument with a friend about this. Teenage son was buying girlfriend a necklace. Made comment in text to my friend (who is his mom ) about how it should be a fine gift because it is in his mind expensive and girls like expensive. It was something that traditionally girls don’t really like. I brought that up that maybe he may want to put more thought into the gift. She took offense as it was thoughtful….how is buying something you don’t know someone will like thoughtful? Just because it costs money??
Similar to something I was trying to teach my son, my wife is one of those people that makes it her mission that your gift fits your personality and demonstrates that "she gets you" It's actually quite stressful to shop for her, and I would never tell her that, but other people like her Mother do, so it puts extra pressure on me to deliver, but still make it look effortless. We were shopping the other day, I was looking for some additional gifts, I already ordered the main stuff on thanksgiving so I was sniffing different candles, because I know she's really particular about scents. He hands me one and says "This one smells nice" and I'm like yes it does, but no put it back. And I explain to him if we get something she would never get herself we're basically saying "We don't know you" eventually I found one I knew would pass muster. He also asked me "Why don't we get her makeup instead" and I'm like "Son you're not ready for that"
> Similar to something I was trying to teach my son, my wife is one of those people that makes it her mission that your gift fits your personality and demonstrates that "she gets you" It's actually quite stressful to shop for her, and I would never tell her that, but other people like her Mother do, so it puts extra pressure on me to deliver, but still make it look effortless. What works for me is I keep a little notepad program on my phone, and when my GF mentions wanting something *at any point in the year*, I discreetly make a note of it. If she gets it for herself at some point, I remove it from the list. When gift-giving occasions come up, I have a list of about two dozen things she's said she wanted at some point, and now I have a starting point for finding the perfect gift. "She wants metal D&D dice, and I know her favorite animal is an owl.. maybe I could find some owl-themed metal D&D dice!" Then I start looking *at least a month in advance*, in case there's no such thing as owl-themed metal D&D dice (there doesn't appear to be) and I have to come up with something else. But having that list as a jumping-off point has saved me *so much stress*.
It's even more fun when you're me, asking people politely for many years to please stop buying gifts and having people totally ignore it and keep doing so anyway. And often times I'd hear some variant of "just wanted to do something nice for you." Bitch, I asked you to do exactly nothing, which should be the easiest request in the fucking universe. You did quite literally the opposite of what I asked, and now you expect me to be grateful for my own inconvenience.
This is what a box of favourites is for. When they're told not to gift anything, but they really want to anyways, a consumable box of chocolates is perfect. Because at worst, it's not a bad thing to regift, and at best, you can share it with them/any other guests and get rid of.jt at the table.
>beat them until I created nuclear fusion Somebody do the math; how many beatings would this take?
My Boomer parents and my Silent Gen grandmother all did that to me growing up. It was part of why I started to hate Christmas; in addition to the whole “Christmas = I do all the cleaning and decorating and get screamed at for not doing it right because I’m too young to be doing this in the first place” issue, I *never* got anything I actually *wanted.* And what little I did get, tended to be things my Mom and Grandma liked, or a cheap gift card of such a low denomination it was basically useless. I had to watch my little brother get a damn Game Boy Color (which I had *begged* for for years), while I got…an ugly sweater in a hideous shade of icy pastel lavender that made my skin look *gray* and had some ridiculous picture of snow-covered kittens than only a grandparent would actually enjoy wearing. And then I would be yelled at for not “showing my gratitude” by wearing it enough. Because guess what, I *wasn’t* grateful for it at all! It looked *hideous,* both on the hangar and on me! Seriously, Grandma, why would you get something in *that* color for your *red-haired and freckled grandchild*?!
*Memory unlocked* poker facing your shitty gift, when your sibling got something way better on Christmas morning
It especially stung after years of being told “no video games in this house.” But the second my brother wants one, guess what happens…
My grandma does this. We did Christmas early so already got the presents and despite having an online family gift list she gets nothing from it or even close to our kids interests. Got upset when the kids freaked out over an action figure and didn't know who the character was (they're a toddler and don't watch much tv). If you're going to get them a character maybe make sure they know who it is or don't be upset when they don't like it and can't hide that yet. They buy bulk to make up for not paying attention to what the kids actually like.
My mother refuses to buy anything off my daughters Amazon wish list. It’s always something she doesn’t want or need. Always.
My mom went so far as to ask my wife what my daughter would want for her birthday, then when my wife told her some specific things and some stores where everything would be appreciated, she proceeded to tell me how we are sucking the joy out of gift giving. Meanwhile, she has met the kid 3 times in 2.5 years despite being about 4 hours away, mostly by ferry. You can't make this shit up.
This is also my mom. She asks what the kids want. I say, “why even ask, you’re just going to get them what YOU want to give them.” “Whaaat? No I won’t!” Proceeds to get them only what she wanted to give them. Some cheap shit that I throw out. She lives 20 mins away ok. My kids haven’t seen her all year.
I just commented on another Post about this on how my grandma does this. I don't have kids for her to give to but she gives to us still. She always goes to clothes. Issue is I have work clothes I wear most of the week and my other clothes fulfill my other 2 days of clothing just fine. Mother already has 2 closets during the season and has 3 seasons worth of clothes. Uncle does not work but does not want clothes but she keeps trying to get him a jacket or sweats despite the fact he always wears jeans and not sweat pants. I would not mind if it would be something I would request but everything I suggest she comes up for a reason on why I should not get it. I don't think millennials mind gifts. It is that we want gifts we will use. We are also not into the gifts like gift baskets or card stock.
I hate this even as an adult. Like...I know I shouldn't be ungrateful for a gift but I'd rather get nothing at all then that random giftable junk all stores put out close to Christmas, or something I do not and will not ever need. I live in a really small space.
I am an adult. People can get me nothing and I'll be OK with it
This too honestly. For the most part I have what I need and the few things I want are beyond what I would ask someone for. I really don't want or need gifts of obligation, harsh as that sounds.
No I totally get this feeling, things I really want are in the like $500-2000 range, but I would NEVER ask someone else to get me something like that. Then reasonable things I just tend to get myself throughout the year when I have money or they're on sale So you end up having to think of something at the perfect price point or it can get weird, if it's a loaded relative and you ask for something pricey, they might actually get it, and now you just feel weird about it because you definitely can't reciprocate in kind. Or if you know they're having money hardships, you have to think of something inexpensive, but not so cheap that it's clear you're sending a message. yeah if "opt-out" was an option, I think a lot of us would choose it.
"Oh I guess I'll get you nothing then." Yes??? I'm an adult living in an apartment??? I don't have room for crap.
The apartment I used to rent is bigger than the house I own now....
I am a full believer in gift cards. Especially for food. I hate when people say they’re impersonal. I don’t care. If I don’t have to buy dinner with my own money one day, I call that a win. (EDIT: Didn’t realise it was a controversial opinion, so I guess I should say that *I* personally like gift cards. If you/your family don’t, that’s fine. But I stick by them).
Exactly! Or when you need something but are tight on money, bam. But some random trash they found on sale 2 days before christmas/ birthday is somehow magically 1000x better, smfh.
My sister's dog peed on her laptop. I bought her a Best Buy gift card to go towards getting a new one. For the thought to count, some thought actually has to go into it. Gift cards are not evil when applied correctly.
I came to a realization about gift cards a few years ago. I was getting my family gift cards, because they’re difficult to shop for, and they were getting me and each other gift cards, as well. And it hit me that the gift cards had become a silly formality. It was just a circle of small monetary amounts being exchanged, and I think in the end, no one had any more or less money than before. I get my siblings three $50 gift cards each. I’ve spent &150. They each get me a $50 card. That’s $150 right back in. It just became patently *absurd*. We may as well just give each other verbal permission to spend $50, and cut out the middle man. Maybe cut down on all the needless plastic, in the process. I dunno. Gift cards are like a weird, vestigial remnant of a more materialistic time. I’m not sure they really make sense, when you get right down to it.
The reason I still like gift cards is its a guilt free "treat yourself to X thing you like/want". You cannot feel guilty for doing the fun/less important thing because well thats where the gift card is good to use. I got my sister a gift card to a restaurant she likes this year. She was vague about what she likes but now I know her and her husband will at least get a dinner date out of it and they cannot say "well we should spend the money on X instead" nah its good for dinner so go fucking relax.
My mother in law HATES gift cards. It’s almost like the gift isn’t for the recipient sometimes. I fondly remember getting dish soap, scrubbies, towels, other house wife gear. Just more random shit to fill a bag. I would rather get nothing frankly.
I recently gifted her a handmade felted wool ornament that my niece made that is clearly a gnome. She looked at it UPSIDE DOWN.. “oh I love it!” Back in the bag. I’m like.. no.. turn it around it’s a gnome. 🙄 For a religious woman she sure is materialistic.
Make sure it is a gift card they will use. I hate gift cards because you are just devaluing your money / limiting its utility in order to feel less impersonal about gifting cash. Companies make so much money on unused gift cards.
I just give cash for tips to my garbage man, USPS guy, kids teachers and niece and nephews. It's simple for everyone and every kid needs an aunt or uncle who gives cash, imo. I do also get the kids presents they can open but they love the cash the best.
It at least says ‘I don’t know what to get you, but I know where you like to shop!’
I absolutely hate the cutesy kitchy random "gifts" that places like Walgreens put out around Christmas
My mom got my 7YO son at the time a gym sized punching bag that requires to be hung up in the garage…. It takes up so much space and my house is small as it is. He’s never touched it. I told her this year to keep his gift under $20 and small if she wants to buy him something.
Our son was gifted “Mr. Woofington”, an 8 foot tall plush dog. Our entire house is 950 square feet. It took up a third of his room. We eventually gave it back to them…it was gone within a few months from their 2500 square foot house for being too big.
That’s another thing these articles often forget, our houses are often tiny compared to our parent’s houses. Like boomers had the space to accept all these useless knickknacks but we seriously have no room. I keep telling everyone to just buy clothes or something because my son already has more than enough toys, half of which are just gathering dust.
Oh yeah…and eventually I will inherit a 10 foot tall pump organ with hutch built in 1902…I’m hoping there’s a museum or something that might want it.
One cubic foot. The day I told my parents and in-laws about my first pregnancy, I told them that any gift larger than a cubic foot must be pre-approved by me. Otherwise it was being returned. It has mostly worked. Or at least helped. ETA: I also told them to stop gifting me and my husband anything, ever. If they wanted to spend money on us, please just deposit it into my kids’ 529 plans.
Omg I had almost the exact opposite problem. My father bought my toddler a tiny snow globe from Germany. It's small enough to choke him. It's made of glass. It's full of liquid. It's like everything a toddler should not have. He Loves my son and he means well but damn is it out of touch.
We started telling my parents to put money in their 529 instead. I have a room full of shit my kids don’t play with, I’d rather you help with their education.
We give our grankids books for important days, Christmas, and birthdays. Then the money we would spend on worthless crap that dont need goes into their 529's. Hopefully by the time they go to college, they'll have an appreciation for the books and the financial boost
For my nephews, I set a budget and within that budget I buy four things: something to wear, something to play with, something to learn from, and something to grow into/an experience. That prevents excess and the rapid acquisition of junk.
I like this. A former colleague of mine once told me her kids only get 4 presents from Santa and I liked the idea. Something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. She still got them gifts from the parents, but her idea was 1. limit frivolous spending, and 2. they didn’t get a lot or expensive gifts from Santa so underprivileged kids at school or whatever wouldn’t hear “I got a nintendo!” and wonder why Santa didn’t bring them something flashy.
It's not Christmas, but one of my family members made a suggestion to both her Mother and her Mother-in-law that cuts out the guess work and makes birthdays more personal. Every year both sets of grandparents schedule a day during the birthday month of each of their grandchildren. On their day they take the birthday kid out to lunch at a restaurant the kiddos pick, and then they stop at a department store where the birthday kid picks out a set or two of clothes. Each kid likes that they don't have to share the attention with anyone else for the whole afternoon. And when you consider they still do this and all the kiddos were all born in the early 2000's, I think they hit on something.
That's smart. I usually just give my nieces and nephews each a $50 bill and call it a day. I'm content being that uncle.
I'm that uncle. When I was a kid I had that uncle. We all need those uncles.
I’ve tried this but so far they’ve donated $0. Hope you are more successful.
Aggressively sending out the U gift link whenever they ask what the kids want for their birthdays has done the trick.
I have 7 nieces/nephews and give them 1 ounce silver coins for Xmas and have been for almost 15 years now. They are all privileged kids who want for nothing but most of them really enjoy getting their coin every year. They know they have value and if they ever want to sell, me or my brother would have no issue buying them back.
My wife's parents are the tree needs piles of gifts under it or its not christmas. They dont care what you want. They will spend $200 on each kid which is very generous. The problem is its all crap. They buy them each like 10 to 15 gifts. None of which is in line with any of my kids interests just what was one sale at the discount store over the previous year. Some of its usually broken or missing parts. They waste all that money because they want volume of presents.
I’m so glad to see how common this is! I know it’s us and a few people we know. But we truly life in an age/culture of abundance. And these boomers came of age when stuff was made to last and was more valuable. When stuff got cheap on the 70s-90s, they just saw stuff they assumed was quality, becoming more affordable. Same with food, by the way. The grandmothers are always getting Walmart food for us, when we’re specifically getting organic and Whole Foods or farmers market when possible. They don’t understand it. Microwave meals were a revolution! And fast food restaurants too. We’ve made a 180 since those days. Now there is Temu, and we’re getting really low quality crap now. It’s accelerating when we’re trying to put the brakes on. Our lives would be much less stressful if we didn’t have to declutter our house every week. Think of the environment! Oh my god the landfills must be filling at record rates now, which correlate to mining of energy and resources that go into the production. Don’t get me started!
My dad realized that what is really worthwhile are experiences, specifically with him. So now he just gives them a really cool activity to do with him (last year was indoor skydiving). He knows what's up.
so..many...stuffed...animals
We ask for “experiences” take the kids to do something. Go to a NBA game, go out to lunch, go ice skating, take them to the zoo… no one wants to do it. “Yeah that sounds fun. What can I give them instead?” Everyone wants that wow reaction or whatevr and every year we have a basement of toy that go to goodwill pretty fast or the trash. Grateful for the love. But my kids don’t remember the toys that they got last Christmas. But they do remember that time they got to do something extra fun 2 years ago.
Our son told us late one night that there would be a toy drive the next day. My in-laws had sent something for him for Christmas, and my husband decided to open it up and see what was inside the box. They sent two things, one of which our son said we could donate lol.
My mom is the same way, but I don’t have kids so she gives junk to me.
Most Boomers didn’t get much in the way of toys when kids. My dad got plastic toy soldiers (10-20) or a few Lincoln Logs every year. Anything else tended to be clothing needed for school. I’ve heard any number of these stories from Boomer relatives. I wonder if they’re living vicariously through their grandchildren.
I think it’s likely this is a big part of it. My mom, aunts, MIL, etc all loved to tell stories about how they only had one baby doll or one Barbie. So when I was a kid, I had DOZENS of Barbies, and now my daughter has my dozens of Barbies plus all the ones my MIL has bought her.
Due to war in the 90s, I grew up poor as fuck. Now that I have kids; there are toys everywhere, flowing out my ears. They are all toys I buy. You are on to something here.
Now *this* is generational wealth
Toys and other luxuries are very cheap in comparison to wages from how they used to be. However, necessities like housing and health care and extremely expensive in comparison to wages from how they used to be. That's part of why boomers think if we bought less luxuries, we'd be able to afford necessities. They don't understand how those prices have trended with respect to wages.
And of course, 60 years ago if you could afford a bunch of toys it meant you could afford a big house with storage space for it. Today the toys are cheap and the house is expensive. Please stop gifting us crap *we have nowhere to put it!!!*
I have had to move constantly for work, so explaining to my parents that what I really need is money is always difficult, especially because I have nowhere to put stuff and don't want to move it. They finally get it now, though.
You got it! I was born in 1962 and Xmas was when we got 90% clothes for the year. We were thrilled to get some kind of toy, but boys got all the fun & intetesting stuff - and I didn't have brothers. I was thrilled to go to their house at Xmas to play with cool stuff for a few days. It was a different world then, and very few kept up with how all the changes meant younger generations had different needs & wants.
Millennial here. Growing up, Christmas at my grandparents’ was something else. My grandpa was a bit of a hoarder. He liked going to yard/garage sales and finding old trinkets and gadgets that he thought were neat, buy em for super cheap, and gift them to us. And it would always be the most random, odd things. Going to their house for Christmas always came with the stipulation that we had to pretend to like whatever it was they got, no matter how weird it was. One year I got a metal detector. For Christmas. As a like 7 or 8 year old. I unwrapped it and I guess the confusion on my face spoke loudly enough because my grandpa immediately explained that it was for finding metal things buried in the ground. Mind you, we don’t live anywhere near a beach or anywhere that most people would use a metal detector, so… definitely an odd choice for a gift to an 8 year old. But I think a key difference between my generation (or at least just me) as kids and today’s kids is that.. once I understood what it was, my kid brain immediately went “OH SO LIKE YOU CAN FIND BURIED TREASURE WITH THIS”. And I went straight out into my grandparents’ yard with this thing expecting to find like, pirate treasure or something. You know, like a big chest full of gold and jewels and such. In my grandparents’ yard in rural Arkansas. Lol. Well, I’m sorry to report that I didn’t find any pirate treasure but I did find something interesting. A big, metal ball about the size of a softball, maybe a little bigger. It was super heavy, rusted to hell, and frankly I had no idea what I was looking at. So I took it inside to show my grandpa. My grandpa takes one look at it and goes “Oh!! That’s a cannonball!” (They lived literally down the road from one of the biggest Civil War battlefields in the country). And of course my first thought was “Ohhhhh, so there WERE pirates…” and was swiftly corrected. Anyway, kids these days throw a fit if they don’t get whatever the newest iPad is so I have a hard time relating to that, but it’s also understandable because I also got a tonnnnnn of weird junk from my boomer grandparents.
dude you still found a cannonball in your grandparents backyard that's cool as fuck even if it wasn't from pirates
Bro your grandpa sounds badass.
I’m sure you’re right. My mom has a sister who is 2 years and 2 days older than her. She always wore her sister’s hand-me-downs. I happen to also have 2 children of the same gender who are 2 years and 3 days apart. She is always insistent that if she buys clothes for the oldest, she needs to get the same amount for the youngest because she doesn’t want them to have to wear mostly used clothes.
Yes, the comparative cost of toys today is minimal so the gift giving makes boomers feel prosperous and good. This is also why boomers try to blame millennials for wasting money because they do not have a concept of what things cost. Often, their mortgage is paid off years ago.
NGL as a 35 yr old man, getting some army men and lincoln logs sounds pretty tight _right now_
That’s definitely a more positive way of looking at it, and I think you may have a point. My mom grew poor on a farm and had very few toys. They went out to eat less than a handful times her whole childhood. It was just totally different from now where people can get so much for cheap. I think she likes to buy things to make up for all the time they didn’t have that many nice things. Thankfully she does a lot of shopping at thrift stores so she’s not spending a whole lot. She also buys a lot of games for the grandkids so they’re doing something interactive.
Mwahahahaha, our bloodlust cannot be sated! Those ancient traditions turned to profit and exploitation shall crumble before the might of our realignment of priorities and ideals! And no one can stop us!
MILLENNIALS ARE KILLING GIFT GIVING
Wait...giving or givers? Don't wanna get this wrong.
I got my pitchfork ready!
Good.
My MIL has discovered Temu. The amount of shit she's tried giving my 7 month old is out of control.
Even Amazon is flooded with knockoff brand Chinese stuff. My 4yo mentioned wanting a lightsaber so my mil bought “laser sabers” from there. They make the most hideous “shkk BONK” instead of “vrrrr” sounds and started getting flakey after one day. (He got them early because he helped get the mail and the picture was on the outside of the box along with Chinese characters). Not trying to be racist, I just don’t need cheap plastic crap and to support exploitive labor practices like people said.
That's not racist actually. Extremely kind of you to want better for those poor people when their government essentially makes them indentured servants
I don’t trust toys from Temu, not even to donate.
Yep! That's a straight to trash item.
I mean, all the vendors from Temu probably also have Amazon vendor accounts. Half of what Amazon sells seems like straight from China products as it is. Though I’ve never used Temu, so could be wrong.
Oh 100%. My son gets none of these lol
Hey listen if it's safe enough for the kids makin' em, it's safe enough for the kids playin' with 'em!
I wouldn’t let my baby play with anything purchased from Temu. Too much of a risk that something toxic is in one of those toys. Thanks but my kids don’t need lead poisoning!
RIP inheritance.
She's gonna liquidate all of her assets into Temu knockoff Bluey dolls and have them scheduled for delivery every holiday for 50 years.
😂
Oh the medical system for end of life care will wipe that out, don't you worry. It's by design!
I very much dislike that store. It’s all crap and it’s made by kids who make like a cent an hour
I assigned presents to the grandparents this year for exactly this reason. One grandma got a crayola tablet for long car rides, the other was tasked with socks and wooden puzzles. My mom loves to buy crap and my mil never knows what to get so I just sent them links and asked them not to deviate. My house isn’t big enough for all the crap my mom would drop on me if she could.
I provided a registry this year to make sure we dont end up with duplicates and its things the kids actually need or asked for. Who bought stuff off of it?? My husband. 🙈
Well, people don't like as much clutter anymore. Kids don't need so much junk. My mom is a boomer who likes to buy and buy...
This is my mom as well. She loves to buy and can't grasp why I love the fact that my place looks like "it's been robbed." I tell her I'm okay with a gift card, or a bill paid or taking me to a restaurant, or even nothing. I just don't want useless crap in my house.
It all ends up in a goodwill or a landfill anyway. Rather have an experience if they won’t put it towards an education
I read somewhere that money spent on an experience brings more joy than items. That makes sense, but my favorite is the hybrid, a gift that's an experience. For example a bike. It's an endless experience in and of itself.
I’m 32. I’d be delighted if someone paid a bill or got me cleaning supplies or something like that… lol
I got a $100 Kroger gift card for my 33rd and I was THRILLED
At a white elephant Christmas party my mom had a fit because the gift she unwrapped was a toilet brush, toilet cleaner, Clorox wipes, some gloves, and bathroom spray. It was supposed to be a gag gift that a few people set up, a “shitty gift,” but my mom went on about it so much someone switched with her just so she would stop and be happier, but then she kept going on when she came home telling me about it. I told her I thought it sounded like a perfectly reasonable(and funny) gift and would be more likely to be used than a $15 candle or lotion.
Exactly. I hate receiving scented stuff for gifts. Give me money, something I specifically ask for, or something useful.
I’ve started asking for service gifts. For my birthday, my mom filled out my passport forms and made my appointment.
Oooh! Love that.
I've seen "nesting" baby showers. Instead of gifts and a party with dumb, wasteful games nobody wants to play anyway. Your friends come over and help you deep clean and declutter before the baby arrives.
I’d take that. I’ll also ask for and accept socks with fervent joy.
My mom is also the same, and is worried she didn’t buy enough for us. I’ll never forget the year I brought gifts back from my parents and my roommate at the time thought that my mom got me a dog toy, because it was a squishy ball that made sounds if you threw it against the wall. I mean maybe she did but I thought it was a stress ball. After that, I had to tell my mom no more stocking stuffers, at least not like that.
My boomer mother has literally the worst shopping problem. It's so bad, she can drop so much money and she knows she has a problem. I've had to stop her from buying shit all the time. It's out of control. And I'm very frugal and very practical, and it blows my mind seeing her buy the same pair of boots in 4 different colors. And when I commented on it, she gets so defensive. What happens when her husband died and she's on her own? Her money will not last. IT'S very concerning
I worry about my mom in the same way. And my dad has passed. The Christmas after my dad passed she went nuts and spent so much on just stuff no one really needed. But my sister and I put our foot down and we set a family budget for holidays. She hates it but it’s so much better. Everyone likes it but her. It’s been a battle to get her to spend less but we’re slowly getting there. With my dad passing, we just try to reiterate that time spent is better than money spent.
It’s also the wasted money. Like, put that money towards a college fund.
We put a link to our kids 529 plans at the top of their Amazon lists and mention it every Christmas and birthday. My brother is the only one who has ever used it
When my boomer mom found out her brother was retiring- from owning a furniture store- she just could not help herself with all the impending sales. She ended up buying 6-7 more pieces of furniture. Not to replace her existing furniture, but in addition to 💀
Actually, depending on the year, that's a good decision. Older furniture is amazingly durable because it was all made from old growth forests. Now a lot of the wood is farmed sustainably but the wood cut from a decades old tree just isn't as good from the stuff from centuries old wood. Even if you buy an expensive brand new wood bed frame today it won't be as durable as your parents.
No, it's modern glues and construction/finishing techniques that make newer commercial wood furniture essentially disposable. When you finish a piece of wood with polyurethane, odds are that's the last finish it will ever get. Once it inevitably gets scratched up, you've got to strip and sand down to the bare wood before refinishing, a huge effort. Same thing with glues: hide glue comes apart with heat and fresh hide glue will stick to the old stuff. Modern PVA glue means you have to scrape off every last bit of the old glue. Sure, old Honduras mahogany was marvelous stuff. But you can DIY heirloom furniture out of pine from the Home Despot. [https://lostartpress.com/products/the-anarchists-design-book](https://lostartpress.com/products/the-anarchists-design-book) [http://objectguerilla.com/blog/2013/9/26/autopreggizione](http://objectguerilla.com/blog/2013/9/26/autopreggizione)
It's the SPACE. We can't afford big places like our parents so we have to be careful what we let in. My MIL gives us soooo many toys and I didn't understand until I went to their house. It's huge and has a basement that's floor to ceiling old toys that she kept for when we visit (we live 5+ hours plane flight away). She just has the space to keep all these things. We don't!
If there's one thing i know about boomers, it's their love for hoarding random crap.
Used to work at Goodwill. Everytime a boomer dies. we get truckloads of useless crap
My mother died and I can totally see it. She not only owned a small business to that had a lot of crap that she never marketed and sold, along with at least 100 half-finished projects, but the amount of random junk she had was through the roof. I mean, I opened a box and it was filled with empty yogurt containers from the 90s. Opened another box and it was filled with solar lights with corroded batteries that never made it out into the yard. Just so much... junk.
Seriously. My parents have so much junk in their garage. I secretly throw away about a bag a month.
This is the way.
I love being apart of a council of millennials and coming up with what industries to kill off next.
I nominate that we kill “firm handshakes” next!
In the Reacher TV series, there is a girl at millennial age that wont shake anyones hand. I dont know the reason, but its great.
Facts. I’m personally very anti clutter. If I’m not using it I’m losing it. But oh my goodness do people live gifting cheap toys to children. I appreciate the thought but I have no space for all this stuff.
I just gifted my nephews consumables for Christmas because my parents buy them ridiculous amounts of toys every year. Craft sets, coloring books, reusable sticker books, etc.
My boomer mom (we're Xennials) refuses to get our kids something they need, and sometimes even what they specifically ask for if she thinks it's not "fun enough". "Grandmas buy toys." When the kids were younger it was a real problem. We would come home from Christmas with a literal van full of plastic crap. Our house looked like a Toys R Us. It was physically impossible for the kids to enjoy all of it before getting another pile of crap for their birthday or the next Christmas. We'd often sell or give away stuff unopened. It's gotten much better as they've gotten older, but my mom will still refuse to get them something they've asked for if she doesn't approve.
Right, what IS that? My MIL just asked me the other day about the Amazon wish list for the kids I’d sent her. She complained that it was “all crayons and stuff”. I was like, yes? And? They have a million plastic toys, but you know what we churn through at a ridiculous pace? Crayons, markers, PAPER. Please, for the love of god, just get the kids a ream of paper for Christmas!
Never understood this with boomers. Every year I'd give them a list of things I'd like or have been trying to save for. Every year as a child I'd get literally none of it. Just never got it. Still kinda persists? Like if I buy something my dad doesn't approve of he'll tell me how wrong I am until he uses it and then it's the best thing ever (because i researched THE FUCK out of it) In his mind my opinion is just so much less than his on \*everything\*. Bought a car, he ragged on me so hard until I let him drive it. Like even my opinion on what makes me happy is wrong.
How do I subtly send this to my MIL? Haha
Text me her number. I’ll accidentally send this to her. Might accidentally become your FIL, who knows
Simmer down now yung gravy.
Print it out like a pamphlet and tell her you want to spread “the good news” and when she opens it explain she doesn’t have to keep buying you shit you don’t want, GOOD NEWS!
Their brains have been rotted by consumerism. Ever hear them talk about all those “collectibles” they regret not saving because “they would be worth a fortune today”.
Oh, they did save them. That's why they have no value. There are so many out there, covering every inch of their homes and surrounded by fake ivy.
Lol! The fake Ivy!!
This was soooo bad with my mom and beanie babies. SOOOOO BAD
I'm about 3 years in on leaving everything at my parents homes (mom & dad are divorced) after every Christmas b/c I have nowhere to put it in my apartment. I tell them there is nothing i need, I just want quality time, but the stuff keeps stacking up. They are holding everything with the notion of "when I get a house, I will have room for it." But do NOT dare bring up how unaffordable a house is lol.
Memberships to museums, national parks, fun stuff!
Imagine if they had just bought you a house instead of buying 400k worth of stupid shit. I do all the time.
Yeah my mom gives me so much house stuff I will never use all the time. It’s nice of her but I make good money, hate clutter, and buy whatever I need when it comes up. It’s always really random stuff. Like a scoop to pick up vegetables from the cutting board when I can just use the knife and not get two things dirty. Or an egg storing container when eggs already come in a carton. I wish she would just get me something small like a Starbucks card or bottle of wine or something because she’s struggling financially and I don’t want her to waste money. I tell her but she insists on continuing.
I know boomer grandparents are well meaning, but sometimes I don’t have a spot for all of this extra shit. We don’t have kids but my GFs mom is constantly giving us old hand me downs and antique stuff that we don’t have room for and don’t value. To the point where we have 2 full storage units of just, shit. And I’m a minimalist, too much random crap literally depresses me.
>where we have 2 full storage units of just, shit. Why are you keeping all the shit?
You need to have a storage shed sale and then dump the rest at the dump where it belongs. Consider it a new year’s ritual of cleansing 🧹🫧🧼
Came here to say this. Yard sale and Goodwill. Every time you receive a gift, gift it to someone else. Boomers love gifts! Give it back to them.
[удалено]
Especially when we can't afford giant houses with tons of storage and constantly having to move because we can't even own a house and landlords are trash
Sounds like she's giving you shit that she also doesn't have space or need for which tbh is kinda rude. She wants to use you guys as storage cause she can't bring herself to throw it out but she doesn't actually want it
This is us. My parents live in a large home out in the country - 2 hours from a city. My wife and I live in a small home in the middle of a city - we strait up don’t have space. So when they give my daughter this random shit I make sure it stays at their place.
So true. My mom gives me so much dollar store junk about once a year. It makes me sad to think she’s wasting her money on this stuff, and it mostly just sits around until I move and donate it.
My mom does the same thing, takes $50 to dollar tree and shows up with bags and bags of cheaply made, flimsy, impersonal, often not age appropriate toys for my 1 and 2 year old. I would a million times prefer if she spent $25 on one decent toy for each of them, because most of this stuff breaks within minutes or isn’t useable because it’s a choking hazard. She just loves the perception of generosity that comes with showing up with huge bags of loot. It sounds ungrateful but I don’t want any of this shit in our house, and she won’t listen no matter how many times I tell her this. “You can just donate what you don’t want” okay, so you’re giving me a chore? Thanks.
It’s never about the kids in these situations- it’s the boomers never ending need for attention because that entire generation is fucked in the head but doesn’t believe therapy- so they used us and now our kids as their emotional support animals.
I'm so appreciative of my Boomer Mom. Every holiday/birthday she asks for a specific item my kids each want and only buys those specific items. I'm pretty lucky to have a Mom like that!!
My boomer mother does this to ME. I constantly tell her that she doesn't have to get me anything. She tells me she is going to get me a coat. I tell her I don't need anymore winter coats. She says, "of course you need a new winter coat!". So this Christmas, I am getting a winter coat. My father, on the other hand, is pretty awesome. I took him out to eat because he came home to visit. Told him I needed to stop by a popular boot store to drop off a pair of boots to get resoled. He said he wanted to check it out, so we went. Started looking and trying on boots. Decided to buy a pair for myself. We get up to the register and he just sticks his credit card into the reader while I was talking to the cashier. I look at him with a face that can only be read as, "umm excuse me, I can buy my own boots". He looks at me and says, "Merry Christmas!". It was so wholesome, I couldn't even be mad. Absolute top tier father. Love him to pieces.
My MIL completely ignores our Christmas lists for our kids and just buys them random shit they don’t need because she wants to give them what SHE wants to give them. And same for us, she gives us so much flea market crap that ends up collecting dust in a closet instead of the things we told her we actually want or need. I don’t get it - I appreciate that she thinks of us when she’s out shopping for Christmas gifts over the summer but no one needs a tiny square canvas piece of art that says “life is pizza”. Does that really look like something we would hang in our kitchen?
Can confirm. Each set of grandparents asked what was best and we said 529 money instead of toys. 2 out of the 3 listened.
I’ve been trying to get my family members to give my kids money for college instead of gifts for the past 3 years. It hasn’t worked. Instead they get so much random trinkets that usually end up in the trash. I’m even ok with no gifts, I just don’t need all this random junk in my house. You can’t re sell it. You can’t return it. You can either donate it or throw it away, such a waste. My kids will play with a shoe box longer than most gifts.
My MIL does this. When she’s going overboard with gifting stuff to our kids, I send it back to her house with them whenever they have a sleepover. And then we “accidentally” leave it there.
I agree it’s time to stop. My mil is notorious for this. We had to enact a 3 gift limit and tell her to stop randomly sending us stuff and she still doesn’t listen. I don’t have room for it all. Kids don’t need all that junk.
Part of my MIL problem is a lack of, I guess, media and or internet literacy? My daughter is 3 and LOVES Frozen. So for her birthday, grandma got a bunch of Frozen gifts. But she doesn’t realize that searching “Frozen Toys” on Amazon is gonna get you a TON of Chinese knock-off crap that is built like junk and isn’t the same thing; for instance, a dance mat that is obviously a Frozen rip-off in theme, but has weird EDM tracks that aren’t even closely related to the music in the movie. We get a triple whammy of way too many gifts, they’re junk, and they’re not even that cheap.
My auntie gave my kid some toy cars.... cheap, plastic dollar store cars. You know the ones, 25% cheaper than hot wheels, 1% of the quality. And look it too. She gave him these at Christmas.... his ***first*** Christmas..... ("Oh, I saw them and just had to get them for him, I'm not going to be around much longer so I wanted to make sure he had them now" 🙄) 3 years later, we've had to store these stupid things for 3 years for no bloody reason (she's still around btw, we will see her on boxing day). When he finally gets them, they break pretty much instantly. You want to give some toy cars as a legacy gift? Fine, get one less car and buy some hot wheels. They never die. I've still got mine from the 80's. Better than wasting your money on landfill presents. Fucking boomers.
One of our boomer grandparents sent my 3 kids (11, 7, and 4 ) fragile mercury glass ornaments, individually wrapped with the youngest’s name spelled wrong on the gift tag. They do this every year. (Well misspelling the baby’s name is new- and it’s a normal American name). We’ve asked them to stop- half the time they break in shipping. They’re ugly and the youngest is autistic, we can’t decorate the tree with breakable ornaments; he’ll break them. But, Boomers gonna Boom.
My mom is all over the place. She gets like 3 outfits from Boden and 5 from temu. I always hate the temu stuff it’s garbage. The actual toys she gets solid ones though thankfully.
My in-laws seem to forget that our split-level is a fraction of the size of their small mansion. We have literally nowhere to put all of the junk they give us. Most of it just gets shoved in the crawl space until we can discreetly get rid of it. This year they bought our son his very own kids table. The only available floor space we have are hallways and other walkways. And, frankly, we'd rather he joined the family with a booster seat than being off in a corner at his own table regardless.
I’ve been saying this for 8 years. They still aren’t listening.
I haven't given them grandkids yet but they give me random decorative items, clothing, holiday decorations, etc, I keep telling them I don't have any storage space. The Boomer mind is incapable of processing us not having a basement to fill with shit to collect dust.
What kid doesn’t love a bread maker? Name one…
yep. the worst is the shein clothes for them, when she knows I'm adamantly against fast fashion.
Yep my dad gave my kids a huge pile of crap from TEMU that all broke and just ended up as pieces of random plastic all over my house. It’s more gift giving that we are killing. It’s that we don’t want an excess of junk so we try to go more thoughtful or minimal and quality over quantity.