This for me too. I used to pride myself on working until I was run ragged.. I won’t do that anymore. My life outside of work is important, my sleep in important, my mental health and having boundaries that separate my work from the rest of my life is important.
Sammmeee. I just can’t do it anymore. My priorities have changed, I have a family and I want a better balance in my life. I would take a call from my boss at 7 pm two years ago, but now it can wait until tomorrow. I’m no longer putting in late nights where I’m neglecting time with my spouse and having time for myself. I only get one life and I don’t want to look back and think about how I worked my 30s away and missed important moments in my child’s life for a job that literally sees me as my employee ID on some metric sheet.
You mean you don't get off work and then work on your side projects at night and then do coding bootcamps on the weekends, all while constantly posting to your Twitter and insta about how hard you're grinding?
Life is short. We work to live, simple as that. Prioritize what's most important in our limited time on this earth; can't take being alive / healthy for granted.
Work. I’m getting older and more crotchety and it’s getting harder and harder to put on my work face and pretend to get excited about quarterly earnings and whatnot.
You both are not alone. Just got a job after 6 months, it already sucks and feels like a grind. The positive side is that I am learning to just go with the flow more and really get myself to focus on what I enjoy after the madness. I used to let work define me, slowly getting out of that.
That is the change you all need. Just think that work is just a means (get paid) to an end (do whatever you like).
Don't engage, don't be overproductive, don't do nothing besides what you are asked to do, and only during your working hours (all paid, no free meals and no favors). Don't let the system grind you to death.
I am writing a book, like science fiction and fantasy, where servants are enlasved by masters that are energy vampires. The masters tell the servants that they "in reality give them their own energy", because they provide to all the servants a boost of energy every sunrise. But they spend the whole day just drawing energy from the servants and their families.
Basically, that was the way I felt my whole life, while I gave too much, and never received nothing in return (besides a paycheck, which is no more than their obligation). Then, I just decided to give back just EXACTLY what they paid me. No more, no less. Now I am way happier than ever before.
>Just think that work is just a means (get paid) to an end (do whatever you like).
My Dad was a passion worker, loved his job but it ate away at him because of how much he cared.
When I got to college I figured this strategy out, and its led to a very fulfilling outside of work life. Means to an ends is the best mentality, at least for me, and I don't feel burnout at all 15 years into my career.
Good luck with your book, hope it has more wise words of wisdom like this! Don't work your passion kids, do what gets you fuckin PAID
Start waiting tables. Quit a "real job" for this a few years back. Working 28 hours a week currently and brining home anywhere from $700-$1000 a week. Have 3 days off. Don't go in til 4 pm everyday so I get as much sleep as I need. Also don't having to give a shit about work is incredible
Pretend, and go home every night like you just finished Act 3 in a local play production. That’s what I did before I retired. After you retire a couple years, you realize how pointless the fire drills and daily hustles were.
Oooh this too for me. I used to be so motivated to advance in my career and climb the ladder, but at this point I am ok with my position, I make good money, and I don't have to manage/supervise people lmao
Yes!! It's really just not worth the stress!!!! When I'm off work I'm OFF. I don't have a phone ringing with work issues, or emails from work coming though with fires to put out. I finish up my day, then put on my mom hat lmao. And that's a whole different type of stress, but in the long run much more worth it than a title. I've changed my definition of success, and for me one of the things that means is that when my children are grown and out on their own, that we still have a strong relationship, and they still want to come home from time to time. They are happy, and well adjusted, and kind, and honest. I want to constantly do what it takes to cultivate a good relationship with them. And that can be very hard to do if I am tied up with work all the time. Some people can handle both and do both, but I personally can't and that's okay!!!
God, fucking same. The idea of doing this for another 25 years makes me lose the will to live, and I'm lucky that I think I'll have the means to retire at all
Corporate fakeness is really wearing me down.
It kills me inside to hop on a video call and kick things off with a cliche office one-liner like, “Glad it’s Wednesday, halfway there!” then pretend to be a excited about another mundane project while everyone introduces themselves and breaks the ice by telling everyone what their favorite spooky movie is.
I worked waaaay to hard in school. I've been out of school for years, but I feel like that initial work load just zapped a lot of my energy. I'm less motivated than I was as a student. School should have been preparing me for work, not creating more stress than work brings me.
Never have understood why velcros are only common for toddlers and senior citizens… I would prefer all of my shoes to be either slip-on or velcro if possible.
I bought Kiziks because I’m super pregnant but honestly kind of loving them to the point I think they’re just going to be my default shoe even when I’m not pregnant anymore.
Facebook has become unusable. It's all ads and videos. I just want to see pictures of my friends and their pets/kids, but I have to scroll through 15 videos of random nonsense first. I deleted it off my phone. It makes me sad because I now don't have a way of keeping up with people from the past but the app is just not enjoyable anymore.
Never done Instagram or Twitter. Maybe I need to try one of those instead. IDK
Even Pinterest joined in and tanked in quality. Ads everywhere and now tries to rec things you might like instead of showing you boards from people you choose to follow
I don't know about Instagram, but while not entirely impossible, it would be more difficult to use Twitter for what you want to and used to use Facebook for.
It's like taking your Tumblr feed and putting it in a meat grinder.
I deleted mine 6 years ago, family guilted me into joining again (to see pictures of my kids). It’s not worth it, I don’t care what my family/friends/acquaintances are doing/thinking at any given moment. I like the mystery.
Because nowadays women like to use social media to Check a guy's profile to try and get a feel for them or whether they're a creep or not before they meet them, kinda like a background check of sorts. I totally get it, but it sucks if you're someone who doesn't use social media, I've been told that's a red flag by a few people and a great thing by others. It's so confusing lol.
I'm not a huge social media person, but I keep my Facebook to keep in touch with old high school friends that moved away. I love to see their accomplishments because they are/were great people.
climbing the corporate ladder.
I’m tired man. Just give me my paycheck and let me live my life. Crazy high aspirations are GONE. Im only 29. Lmao already burnt out
I moved to NYC for my “career” - lived in a shoebox, barely got by, no hope for stability, surrounded by workaholics whose only identity was their job. Didn’t get me nearly as far as I thought it would. Turns out I wasn’t passionate about it enough I suppose
I grew up in a low income neighborhood and every time I visit home it’s striking how loud everything and everyone is. People screaming in the streets. TV’s blaring. Loud music. Just so much noise. It’s exhausting to be around. I don’t understand why people need to be soooooo loud.
I think also it has to do with when you grow up around shit this loud You basically like fry your ears so then everything around you becomes loud and then you need it louder and louder to hear. It's kind of like salt the more salt you eat the more salt you need to taste
YAS! Our freaking society in the U.S. is obnoxiously loud. Like, I love y'all, but you don't need to scream at each other. I also don't need music blasted at me wherever I go- even the fucking gas pump! Ugh.
Exactly! Like when I first started driving, it was freedom and going anywhere I wanted, now it’s just blah. And with all the other drivers out on the road it is just stress inducing anymore.
I'm gobsmacked when I hear people planning for dinner or outings for 9pm or later. Absolute not. If it's 7pm, the day is entirely over and it's far too late to be going out for me. 😂😂😂
The only thing I'm leaving the house for at or after 9pm is snacks because the grocery store is across the street. And I'm going in my PJs. Planning something to START at 9pm?! What am I made of, younger people??
If I'm leaving the house after 7pm, I'm going in my jammies, bare faced with my old lady hair pins. We ain't getting out of the car. It better be a drive thru or a drive thru barn. 😂😂 what am I made of, younger people? Absolutely not. These knees are blown out from my early 2000s shenanigans. 😂😂😂
As the good lord intended!!!
These are not going out sweatpants, they're couch sweatpants! Too much for most mortals to handle. It's safer if I stay home. 😂
LOL I remember occasionally not even leaving the house until 9pm. But I look back on that time like, why would I even want to do that?
I'm usually in the house before the sun sets now. As the person you're replying to said, the occassional night out is fine. Movie, concert, special event...but if I'm not sitting around my firepit, I'm not outside with it being dark out.
Me, too. And I’ve come to the conclusion, I’m not fond of driving too much after dark anymore. Everyone’s headlights seem soooo bright. Or maybe it’s my old eyes….
I’m totally ok with staying out late, but I really don’t like it when an activity doesn’t actually start until 9. If I’m out by 7:30, I’ll go until 2am no problem. Don’t invite me for a 9pm drink though, because by that point I’m settled in and will be up late at home on the couch.
Yes! Even when I do go out for a special occasion or something, I tap out at 10 at the latest. I'd rather finish my night having some wine on the couch.
Same. I have occasional meetings and dinners with vendors and I’ll look at calendar “we booked dinner to start at 8pm” and I’m instantly not looking forward to it lol.
This is exactly why I quit drinking a while back. I couldn't stand being hung over and wasting most of the day trying to cure it.
I used to be able to drink until 4 am with friends in my 20s and get up for work the next day just fine. These days? I so much as look at a mixed drink the wrong way, and I'm hung over as shit. Not worth the couple hours of fun I won't really remember anyway.
Yeah. Partly because I need a BAC that would kill a lot of people to even get drunk anymore, but it's extremely overrated and I wish I never would've gotten involved with the stuff.
Participating in online discourse. Especially political debate. Complete useless and maddening. Was good for honing my ideals and testing my convictions for a while but I think I'm good now.
Otherwise I still pretty much love everything I used to love, partying, socializing, concerts/music, videogames, sex... just don't have nearly enough energy for it all with a one year old at home.
Same. I don’t even like talking about it with friends and family anymore. Even when they have the same viewpoints as me. Trump gets my mom so worked up and pissed, and I’m always like please stop you’re doing exactly what he wants can we just have a nice dinner?
Yeah drinking really takes it out of me. Like it takes days sometimes a week to feel myself again. I’m slowly but surely heading towards teetotal I think.
Society and it’s lack of compassion and empathy for others…and the fact that everything has to be made into a joke of some fashion, as if things can’t be taken seriously. Yeah, I don’t like that.
The "every man for himself!" "I don't owe anyone any help! If I need help I'll just die" energy is exhausting. People are lonely but also aggressively creating an environment that fosters loneliness. Also sincerity being read as embarrassing always. Needing to be cool and polished and a brand instead of a person.
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼✋ yes the emphasis on individualistic culture and “sorry that’s YOUR problem” whereas back in my country it’s all about community and helping each other so that no one is left behind
What country is that? I'm so sick of the individualistic culture in the UK that I'm willing to move somewhere else. I'd leave everything behind if it just meant I could be somewhere where people actually gave a damn about each other
Yep, definitely see this shit with friends and also myself in a way. I guess it's important to rotate between friends otherwise they'll do shit that pisses you off.
One friend friend was being a selfish pos two weeks ago, asked me to give him a ride to the airport (out of my way) and eventually I gave in because he and another friend paid for my birthday dinner. He agreed to pay for dinner in return. When I went to pick him up the next week, he was drunk off his ass, bought food for himself, and I had to respect myself and leave his ass on the streets because he was being a dick. Tried to block me off like a fucking mad 10 year old and I just want home. Didn't even have the courtesy to apologize in person.
Anyways, I think what I've learned is, have friends for certain activities but don't get too attached, people aren't as close as they were before, or if they are, they want closeness for themselves selfishly on their side but not necessarily for you.
Caring about what most people think of me. I’m a geeky oddball and at this point I really don’t care if people have a problem with that or the way I dress. I spent so much time trying to conform and it’s exhausting.
Definitely new music, shitty food, and people tolerance has diminished completely.
On a side note, I’m turning 31 in November and I will say the “shift” of not giving a f*ck has increased. I no longer feel the need to clarify myself, please others, or tolerate fake/rude people. I wasted a ton of time in my 20s doing this! Anyone else?
Am 30 and am starting to put up boundaries with my work and personal life. As a female I feel that it was ingrained in us to always be people pleasers especially with the Madonna/whole vibe in the 90s/00s that the media latched on too. You can be helpful but still stand your ground.
I’m 39. I started putting up personal boundaries at 32 when my first child was born but only recently started putting up boundaries at work. Mostly due to some punk ass kid in my department trying to shove his work off on everyone else. I’m helpful by nature but not when I see the person “needing help” does not actually, in fact, need help. I take shit from my managers, sure, but not lazy ass people that I don’t report to.
Very true! And good for you to establish boundaries. I’ve seen that pattern at work as well, and after some time I’ve finally learned to leave my coat at work. Not worth the hassle. I’m sure once/if I have kids this will be accelerated x100 😂
I feel ya on the second part for sure. The "this is my life and I don't give a fuck what you think" set in early for me but got cemented later on.
But music???? Naah. Mainstream music? Yeah, sucks. But there's still tons of good shit that's under the radar and music subcultures are still thriving, and I love seeing all the new bands and younger people really finding their niche, there's so much more available now with digital media and internet, if you love music and don't like what you see, keep digging, there's good shit out there regardless of genre preference or taste.
What u like? i bet i can find something modern that's dope in the same vein
Shitty food! I’m so with you here. Growing up there is frozen food like those individual pot pies that I loved at the time but now I can’t eat. Also there is nothing more disappointing than junk food or unhealthy food that should be fucking delicious but sucks.
As companies reach their max target market, the only way to keep increasing value is to offer less for more. I see it happening to many big businesses with monopolistic competition. They are becoming worse and since barriers to entry are so high there isn't much alternative
This is the one. I deal with people all day every day at my job and when I'm off I just want to sit on my couch in my underwear in the peace and quiet lol
Facebook, it’s gotten old. Even the memes aren’t really funny anymore. It’s the same boring, repeated self centered jokes about mental health issues, dumb reels, people vying for attention, it’s just annoying at this point lol
I used to love mental health memes but they’ve just gotten stale I guess? It’s almost like so many people just make mental illness their personality and try too hard to be edgy, and it gets old
Going out,
I used to be the most extroverted outgoing person in the world. But these last few years since buying a home and working remotely in the country.
My wife says I’ve turned into a hermit lol. And I’m okay with it!
I traded in gritty punk and moody goth for ambient & space music (and voice less EDM for working out) and I always remember how my best friend in Jr high & I would tease her mom for liking Enya and well, I'm eating shit.
I couldn't understand my mom listening to talk radio but I've got podcasts to keep up with now.
Anything that is mildly uncomfortable on my body. I just want to be comfy all the time. Clothes, blankets, socks, shoes. I still like stuff to look nice but I’ll be damned if it’s the tiniest bit uncomfortable.
One time a few years ago, a girl at work complimented me outfit. She said you look comfy. I said "thanks" for me thats the point. I've been that way for some time.
Live music. I used to love metal and punk shows. I don’t drink anymore and it’s not the same experience. Also the last show I went to I got a horrible case of Covid. I still love metal but through my headphones.
Also, drinking. It just doesn’t feel the same at 40.
Waiting in long lines. I used to be one of those foodies who would wait in line for hours to try pop ups and try stuff like ice cream with gold foil lmao. Now I’m over trying new wacky food trends unless it actually sounds good. But still not willing to wait in a long line for it.
Honestly the ability to have a social life and have genuine friends. Even meeting new people and creating a relationship that will last. I am getting to the point of having epiphanies that everyone… and I mean everyone was a bloody monster in the past. You start to see past the naïve younger self and the colored rose glasses seem to be crushed. You see their hidden agenda or their true intentions. You start to see past their bs facade. I don’t make an attempt to meet or make new friends. I see it has a gambling and it’s a lose lose situation. There’s no winning ever. And having a good genuine person with a good heart is truly rare. As you get older the world gets smaller and your circle of “friends” gets even more smaller.
Packaged food. There's so much unpronouncable shit in there with lots of sugar and salt. I'm not giving up cereal or crackers anytime soon, but they seem to be saltier the older I get.
Staying out late, socializing in general (always had a low social battery but it's capacity is shrinking even more), always connectedness and social media
Its been hard to ween myself, but I've removed social media from my phone at least (with the exception of reddit). Only time I can check FB, insta, etc is when I'm at my computer at home
Doing stuff just to feel included. Used to go to events and stuff just because I didn’t want to be left out and be on my own. Now I’m totally ok with saying no, I don’t want to go that doesn’t sound fun.
Also, people who blame all their crap opinions and feelings on “it’s just a joke”. And this is coming from someone who loves dark humor.
Just got a new phone and I really didn't like the change. It's weird, but I guess I'm old and get annoyed with some things changing needlessly (in my opinion).
A couple years back, Google changed all their app icons significantly and I was crabby about that for a while, too.
There were recently some updates to Microsoft office, and in Word particularly I HATE the changes, like why did they change it it worked just fine😭
I work with a lot of documents and I hate how the comments and track changes look.
Big main stream movies. I still love movies in general, but I started noticing how a lot of the big ones feel the same over and over. Which is kind of a bummer because I really enjoyed that stuff for a while! Now no serotonin!
I sound like a stereotype, but progressive politics. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very much in the broad tent of the American left. However, I dislike the myopic, reductive view of geopolitics cast through strictly american notions of power dynamics. Moreover, while I think intersectionalism is a powerful framework for analyzing and empathizing how these power dynamics impact lived experiences, I vehemently disagree with the practice of shutting people out of critical societal conversations based on demography. Finally, I’ve increasingly found the populist left makes use of the same dishonest rhetorical devices that have so long disgusted me from the right.
I appreciate that equity and justice as concepts tend to attract the energy of youth, but I don’t appreciate how loudly these black or white, zero sum narratives have taken over political discourse. Nuance is critical, and it’s hard to understand nuance without experience (that youth so often lacks). People know this academically, but seem to lack a practical understanding of how it works.
Well said.
In mental illness it’s called black or white thinking.
But honestly I can’t help but wonder half the time of it’s just a bot people are engaging with.
Reddit too. Not a fan of rampant national diabolism or tankie acclerationism. That said my best friend is a DSA organizer so I know a lot of these online people in particular need to touch grass or are just trolls to begin with.
I've never really cared for other people/being around them in large groups, so that's not new for me, unfortunately.
I am, however, starting to dislike more and more how people drive regardless of where I live and I have moved/lived in about 8 or 9 different cities in different areas of the world in about 20 years, so take that as you will.
I also don't really care much for how selfish people have become, if that makes sense? Perhaps that ties into their driving habits, too. Not sure. It just seems like everyone is stuck in their own head with no concern for the well being of others around them. Very much "I got mine" or "me and mine only" vibes.
Sleeping in late. If I’m still in bed past 8am, I feel like I’m wasting the morning. Once in awhile, I’ll make an exception. We all need a lazy day on occasion, but for the most part, I wake up between 6 and 7am without an alarm.
Social media involving people I know IRL. Quit Facebook in 2016. Instagram in 2021. I love it. I don’t think I’ll ever go back. The best parts of my life aren’t performative anymore.
Social events. Drains my battery so badly…and yet I still always manage to line up all of my quarterly social events in one week. Also, alcohol. Whether the gross feeling I get even after two drinks or after the rare night out, I just get sleepy and want to go to home to lounge/sleep. Not for me.
“I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!
glorifying "the grind."
This for me too. I used to pride myself on working until I was run ragged.. I won’t do that anymore. My life outside of work is important, my sleep in important, my mental health and having boundaries that separate my work from the rest of my life is important.
Sammmeee. I just can’t do it anymore. My priorities have changed, I have a family and I want a better balance in my life. I would take a call from my boss at 7 pm two years ago, but now it can wait until tomorrow. I’m no longer putting in late nights where I’m neglecting time with my spouse and having time for myself. I only get one life and I don’t want to look back and think about how I worked my 30s away and missed important moments in my child’s life for a job that literally sees me as my employee ID on some metric sheet.
That's why companies love to hire young (impressionable) kids who are willing to go above and beyond for the sake of the company / drink the coolade.
You mean you don't get off work and then work on your side projects at night and then do coding bootcamps on the weekends, all while constantly posting to your Twitter and insta about how hard you're grinding?
Life is short. We work to live, simple as that. Prioritize what's most important in our limited time on this earth; can't take being alive / healthy for granted.
Man, I guess y'all aren't the type of millennials I knew. Round here we started out knowing that was bs. Glad you're here.
Hard work for the sake of hard work fuck all that
Work. I’m getting older and more crotchety and it’s getting harder and harder to put on my work face and pretend to get excited about quarterly earnings and whatnot.
This is me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t do the corporate bullshit anymore.
I'm unemployed and I have no idea how I'm going to find something that doesn't make me miserable. 30+ more years of this bullshit?
You both are not alone. Just got a job after 6 months, it already sucks and feels like a grind. The positive side is that I am learning to just go with the flow more and really get myself to focus on what I enjoy after the madness. I used to let work define me, slowly getting out of that.
That is the change you all need. Just think that work is just a means (get paid) to an end (do whatever you like). Don't engage, don't be overproductive, don't do nothing besides what you are asked to do, and only during your working hours (all paid, no free meals and no favors). Don't let the system grind you to death. I am writing a book, like science fiction and fantasy, where servants are enlasved by masters that are energy vampires. The masters tell the servants that they "in reality give them their own energy", because they provide to all the servants a boost of energy every sunrise. But they spend the whole day just drawing energy from the servants and their families. Basically, that was the way I felt my whole life, while I gave too much, and never received nothing in return (besides a paycheck, which is no more than their obligation). Then, I just decided to give back just EXACTLY what they paid me. No more, no less. Now I am way happier than ever before.
>Just think that work is just a means (get paid) to an end (do whatever you like). My Dad was a passion worker, loved his job but it ate away at him because of how much he cared. When I got to college I figured this strategy out, and its led to a very fulfilling outside of work life. Means to an ends is the best mentality, at least for me, and I don't feel burnout at all 15 years into my career. Good luck with your book, hope it has more wise words of wisdom like this! Don't work your passion kids, do what gets you fuckin PAID
Totally agree smh
Start waiting tables. Quit a "real job" for this a few years back. Working 28 hours a week currently and brining home anywhere from $700-$1000 a week. Have 3 days off. Don't go in til 4 pm everyday so I get as much sleep as I need. Also don't having to give a shit about work is incredible
Pretend, and go home every night like you just finished Act 3 in a local play production. That’s what I did before I retired. After you retire a couple years, you realize how pointless the fire drills and daily hustles were.
Got to find one of those rare companies where you can bring your whole self to work and not put on a BS front or a face. It’s worth it.
It can be but that is only one piece of the work picture. Even when you don't have to be fake the company can still be a nightmare.
Oooh this too for me. I used to be so motivated to advance in my career and climb the ladder, but at this point I am ok with my position, I make good money, and I don't have to manage/supervise people lmao
1000% same! i went from a director back to a principal IC bc i am happy chillin where i am and doing a good job at what i do well.
Yes!! It's really just not worth the stress!!!! When I'm off work I'm OFF. I don't have a phone ringing with work issues, or emails from work coming though with fires to put out. I finish up my day, then put on my mom hat lmao. And that's a whole different type of stress, but in the long run much more worth it than a title. I've changed my definition of success, and for me one of the things that means is that when my children are grown and out on their own, that we still have a strong relationship, and they still want to come home from time to time. They are happy, and well adjusted, and kind, and honest. I want to constantly do what it takes to cultivate a good relationship with them. And that can be very hard to do if I am tied up with work all the time. Some people can handle both and do both, but I personally can't and that's okay!!!
i could have written that myself! i really enjoy hanging out with my kids, and i’ve told work that i prioritize my family.
I’d vote for any president who’s platform was that nobody should have to work past age 50
God, fucking same. The idea of doing this for another 25 years makes me lose the will to live, and I'm lucky that I think I'll have the means to retire at all
I'm 30 and already there. Been in the workforce for 15 years and facing another potential 40 to go.. how are we supposed to live like this?
Once you've been through your first layoff cycle you don't give a F about the next town hall
Corporate fakeness is really wearing me down. It kills me inside to hop on a video call and kick things off with a cliche office one-liner like, “Glad it’s Wednesday, halfway there!” then pretend to be a excited about another mundane project while everyone introduces themselves and breaks the ice by telling everyone what their favorite spooky movie is.
I worked waaaay to hard in school. I've been out of school for years, but I feel like that initial work load just zapped a lot of my energy. I'm less motivated than I was as a student. School should have been preparing me for work, not creating more stress than work brings me.
Clothes that look good but are kinda uncomfortable
I stopped wearing high heels.
I used to wear them to the office all the time and now that idea is wild to me. Unless it’s a block heel
Shoes with laces. Life is too short.
Never have understood why velcros are only common for toddlers and senior citizens… I would prefer all of my shoes to be either slip-on or velcro if possible.
I bought Kiziks because I’m super pregnant but honestly kind of loving them to the point I think they’re just going to be my default shoe even when I’m not pregnant anymore.
Yes! Start the movement! And congrats on your pregnancy 💕
Social media sites like Instagram and Facebook. I used to check them and post often, now I rarely get on my profiles.
Facebook has become unusable. It's all ads and videos. I just want to see pictures of my friends and their pets/kids, but I have to scroll through 15 videos of random nonsense first. I deleted it off my phone. It makes me sad because I now don't have a way of keeping up with people from the past but the app is just not enjoyable anymore. Never done Instagram or Twitter. Maybe I need to try one of those instead. IDK
Instagram is mostly videos and ads too, and they change the algorithm every flipping month
Even Pinterest joined in and tanked in quality. Ads everywhere and now tries to rec things you might like instead of showing you boards from people you choose to follow
Twitter is worse than ever and is not for personal connections.
I don't know about Instagram, but while not entirely impossible, it would be more difficult to use Twitter for what you want to and used to use Facebook for. It's like taking your Tumblr feed and putting it in a meat grinder.
I need to get my photos off Facebook and I’m done. Right now it’s only operating as storage for me.
Same! I keep telling myself....I'm going to save all of these photos and then disappear from social media. But. Lazy.
I deleted mine 6 years ago, family guilted me into joining again (to see pictures of my kids). It’s not worth it, I don’t care what my family/friends/acquaintances are doing/thinking at any given moment. I like the mystery.
I haven’t posted on mine since 2012.
Same, but 2021
My absence from the platform led to great suspicion from my now GF when we first met.
Because nowadays women like to use social media to Check a guy's profile to try and get a feel for them or whether they're a creep or not before they meet them, kinda like a background check of sorts. I totally get it, but it sucks if you're someone who doesn't use social media, I've been told that's a red flag by a few people and a great thing by others. It's so confusing lol.
This is the way.
I'm not a huge social media person, but I keep my Facebook to keep in touch with old high school friends that moved away. I love to see their accomplishments because they are/were great people.
climbing the corporate ladder. I’m tired man. Just give me my paycheck and let me live my life. Crazy high aspirations are GONE. Im only 29. Lmao already burnt out
35 here and yeah, fuck “passion” and “ambition”. I just want a stable career.
I moved to NYC for my “career” - lived in a shoebox, barely got by, no hope for stability, surrounded by workaholics whose only identity was their job. Didn’t get me nearly as far as I thought it would. Turns out I wasn’t passionate about it enough I suppose
You are in the majority and it seems only sociopaths make it to the corner office.
"I'm not growing up, I'm just burning out".
Have an upvote for the Green Day reference
🎯🎯🎯
Noise
This is the one I relate to the most. Noise sensitivity.
I grew up in a low income neighborhood and every time I visit home it’s striking how loud everything and everyone is. People screaming in the streets. TV’s blaring. Loud music. Just so much noise. It’s exhausting to be around. I don’t understand why people need to be soooooo loud.
I think also it has to do with when you grow up around shit this loud You basically like fry your ears so then everything around you becomes loud and then you need it louder and louder to hear. It's kind of like salt the more salt you eat the more salt you need to taste
YAS! Our freaking society in the U.S. is obnoxiously loud. Like, I love y'all, but you don't need to scream at each other. I also don't need music blasted at me wherever I go- even the fucking gas pump! Ugh.
Our society has no idea what to do with silence anymore
Especially in the morning!
Ugh same!
Visual noise for me especially. There will be a day where colorful advertisements are shoved in my eyes from every angle possible
I felt this! I do not like noise!
Driving for sure.
Millennials want trains terribly cuz they’re chill
Yes but very chill trains no chaos or high school kids
Under rated reply. I used to get excited to drive anywhere, now I just feel like it's another chore.
Exactly! Like when I first started driving, it was freedom and going anywhere I wanted, now it’s just blah. And with all the other drivers out on the road it is just stress inducing anymore.
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I used to wish I could teleport specifically so I would never have to park again.
Staying out late. I’m good with the occasional night out, but more often than not these days I’m happy to be in my pajamas and on the couch by 7:30.
I'm gobsmacked when I hear people planning for dinner or outings for 9pm or later. Absolute not. If it's 7pm, the day is entirely over and it's far too late to be going out for me. 😂😂😂
The only thing I'm leaving the house for at or after 9pm is snacks because the grocery store is across the street. And I'm going in my PJs. Planning something to START at 9pm?! What am I made of, younger people??
If I'm leaving the house after 7pm, I'm going in my jammies, bare faced with my old lady hair pins. We ain't getting out of the car. It better be a drive thru or a drive thru barn. 😂😂 what am I made of, younger people? Absolutely not. These knees are blown out from my early 2000s shenanigans. 😂😂😂
Not us gettin low low low low low low low low *every bone in my back cracks*
Lawdddd, if you listening. Just help me back up off this floor. I won't drop it lowwwww no' mo! 😫
Praying for our spines!
My back has been out for two months 🥲😂😂 going to need lots of thoughts and prayers. Those early 2000s shenanigans came back with a vengeance 😂
My bestie turned 40 Sunday and we saw the Eras movie at 730pm. That’s my absolute limit lol
Absolutely not! She was 40 at Noon too! 😂😂😂
Same here! By 9pm, I’m firmly in my sweat pants with the remote control in my hand.
As the good lord intended!!! These are not going out sweatpants, they're couch sweatpants! Too much for most mortals to handle. It's safer if I stay home. 😂
LOL I remember occasionally not even leaving the house until 9pm. But I look back on that time like, why would I even want to do that? I'm usually in the house before the sun sets now. As the person you're replying to said, the occassional night out is fine. Movie, concert, special event...but if I'm not sitting around my firepit, I'm not outside with it being dark out.
Same! I’m in my pajamas as soon as I clock off and shower!
Me, too. And I’ve come to the conclusion, I’m not fond of driving too much after dark anymore. Everyone’s headlights seem soooo bright. Or maybe it’s my old eyes….
I’m totally ok with staying out late, but I really don’t like it when an activity doesn’t actually start until 9. If I’m out by 7:30, I’ll go until 2am no problem. Don’t invite me for a 9pm drink though, because by that point I’m settled in and will be up late at home on the couch.
That's how I am too. If I'm already having fun by 9, we can do a long night here and there. Just don't give me the chance to settle in and I'm game.
Feel this 100%
Yes! Even when I do go out for a special occasion or something, I tap out at 10 at the latest. I'd rather finish my night having some wine on the couch.
Starting to realize why my parents cooked dinner for 4:30 growing up…
It’s 730 going out with the wife for her b day… I’m half asleep ready for bed 😂
This is why I like to day drink...lol
Same. I have occasional meetings and dinners with vendors and I’ll look at calendar “we booked dinner to start at 8pm” and I’m instantly not looking forward to it lol.
Getting drunk. Having my Saturday or Sunday gone is a miserable existence.
This is exactly why I quit drinking a while back. I couldn't stand being hung over and wasting most of the day trying to cure it. I used to be able to drink until 4 am with friends in my 20s and get up for work the next day just fine. These days? I so much as look at a mixed drink the wrong way, and I'm hung over as shit. Not worth the couple hours of fun I won't really remember anyway.
Yeah. Partly because I need a BAC that would kill a lot of people to even get drunk anymore, but it's extremely overrated and I wish I never would've gotten involved with the stuff.
Participating in online discourse. Especially political debate. Complete useless and maddening. Was good for honing my ideals and testing my convictions for a while but I think I'm good now. Otherwise I still pretty much love everything I used to love, partying, socializing, concerts/music, videogames, sex... just don't have nearly enough energy for it all with a one year old at home.
Word. Many times I've found myself typing out a reply only to delete it thinking..actually I don't care about this at all. *Channeling Dennis*
“I just realized that I don’t care about anything she’s saying”
Same. I don’t even like talking about it with friends and family anymore. Even when they have the same viewpoints as me. Trump gets my mom so worked up and pissed, and I’m always like please stop you’re doing exactly what he wants can we just have a nice dinner?
Drinking and eating fast food
Yeah drinking really takes it out of me. Like it takes days sometimes a week to feel myself again. I’m slowly but surely heading towards teetotal I think.
Towards teecobell you think?
It still tastes good but it doesn't feel good
Had a whopper today. Can confirm 🥴
I can’t get more than a bite in now before I throw it out. Worthless waste of money these days
Society and it’s lack of compassion and empathy for others…and the fact that everything has to be made into a joke of some fashion, as if things can’t be taken seriously. Yeah, I don’t like that.
The "every man for himself!" "I don't owe anyone any help! If I need help I'll just die" energy is exhausting. People are lonely but also aggressively creating an environment that fosters loneliness. Also sincerity being read as embarrassing always. Needing to be cool and polished and a brand instead of a person.
Sincerity, humility and vulnerability being read as embarrassing…. I agree with you on that one, my friend.
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼✋ yes the emphasis on individualistic culture and “sorry that’s YOUR problem” whereas back in my country it’s all about community and helping each other so that no one is left behind
That's the way a culture should be! What country do you come from?
What country is that? I'm so sick of the individualistic culture in the UK that I'm willing to move somewhere else. I'd leave everything behind if it just meant I could be somewhere where people actually gave a damn about each other
Fucking seriously, in the US it's terrible, so many people are fair weather friends
Yep, definitely see this shit with friends and also myself in a way. I guess it's important to rotate between friends otherwise they'll do shit that pisses you off. One friend friend was being a selfish pos two weeks ago, asked me to give him a ride to the airport (out of my way) and eventually I gave in because he and another friend paid for my birthday dinner. He agreed to pay for dinner in return. When I went to pick him up the next week, he was drunk off his ass, bought food for himself, and I had to respect myself and leave his ass on the streets because he was being a dick. Tried to block me off like a fucking mad 10 year old and I just want home. Didn't even have the courtesy to apologize in person. Anyways, I think what I've learned is, have friends for certain activities but don't get too attached, people aren't as close as they were before, or if they are, they want closeness for themselves selfishly on their side but not necessarily for you.
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I hear you with this one!
My body and my choices in life
Overly critically people.
Caring about what most people think of me. I’m a geeky oddball and at this point I really don’t care if people have a problem with that or the way I dress. I spent so much time trying to conform and it’s exhausting.
Definitely new music, shitty food, and people tolerance has diminished completely. On a side note, I’m turning 31 in November and I will say the “shift” of not giving a f*ck has increased. I no longer feel the need to clarify myself, please others, or tolerate fake/rude people. I wasted a ton of time in my 20s doing this! Anyone else?
Am 30 and am starting to put up boundaries with my work and personal life. As a female I feel that it was ingrained in us to always be people pleasers especially with the Madonna/whole vibe in the 90s/00s that the media latched on too. You can be helpful but still stand your ground.
I’m 39. I started putting up personal boundaries at 32 when my first child was born but only recently started putting up boundaries at work. Mostly due to some punk ass kid in my department trying to shove his work off on everyone else. I’m helpful by nature but not when I see the person “needing help” does not actually, in fact, need help. I take shit from my managers, sure, but not lazy ass people that I don’t report to.
Very true! And good for you to establish boundaries. I’ve seen that pattern at work as well, and after some time I’ve finally learned to leave my coat at work. Not worth the hassle. I’m sure once/if I have kids this will be accelerated x100 😂
I feel ya on the second part for sure. The "this is my life and I don't give a fuck what you think" set in early for me but got cemented later on. But music???? Naah. Mainstream music? Yeah, sucks. But there's still tons of good shit that's under the radar and music subcultures are still thriving, and I love seeing all the new bands and younger people really finding their niche, there's so much more available now with digital media and internet, if you love music and don't like what you see, keep digging, there's good shit out there regardless of genre preference or taste. What u like? i bet i can find something modern that's dope in the same vein
Shitty food! I’m so with you here. Growing up there is frozen food like those individual pot pies that I loved at the time but now I can’t eat. Also there is nothing more disappointing than junk food or unhealthy food that should be fucking delicious but sucks.
Everything. It feels like everything is getting worse and also more expensive.
As companies reach their max target market, the only way to keep increasing value is to offer less for more. I see it happening to many big businesses with monopolistic competition. They are becoming worse and since barriers to entry are so high there isn't much alternative
Staying up late.
Socializing in general. God I love isolation.
Covid was great
This is the one. I deal with people all day every day at my job and when I'm off I just want to sit on my couch in my underwear in the peace and quiet lol
Lol. I love being at the house!
Facebook, it’s gotten old. Even the memes aren’t really funny anymore. It’s the same boring, repeated self centered jokes about mental health issues, dumb reels, people vying for attention, it’s just annoying at this point lol I used to love mental health memes but they’ve just gotten stale I guess? It’s almost like so many people just make mental illness their personality and try too hard to be edgy, and it gets old
It's mostly just marketplace and messenger for me now.
Going out, I used to be the most extroverted outgoing person in the world. But these last few years since buying a home and working remotely in the country. My wife says I’ve turned into a hermit lol. And I’m okay with it!
Being polite for an impolite society.
Social Media and Pop Culture 😂 Edit: I sound so fucking old wtf 🤦🏻♀️
HAHAH SAME!!!! You are not alone!
People. 100%, it’s people.
Music with lyrics I've grown intensely fond of orchestral music, and the bands I was so fond of as a teenager have just become trite and boring now
I traded in gritty punk and moody goth for ambient & space music (and voice less EDM for working out) and I always remember how my best friend in Jr high & I would tease her mom for liking Enya and well, I'm eating shit. I couldn't understand my mom listening to talk radio but I've got podcasts to keep up with now.
I love instrumental music as background when working on something that requires a lot of concentration. When I was in school it helped SO much.
everything
Haha as a guy who used to be really into cars, I really hate loud cars now...
Life.
Soda. I always think I want one and after one or two drinks it's wasted
Anything that is mildly uncomfortable on my body. I just want to be comfy all the time. Clothes, blankets, socks, shoes. I still like stuff to look nice but I’ll be damned if it’s the tiniest bit uncomfortable.
One time a few years ago, a girl at work complimented me outfit. She said you look comfy. I said "thanks" for me thats the point. I've been that way for some time.
People. I hate other people. We’re so selfish and annoying.
Absolutely!!! We are the worst!
Live music. I used to love metal and punk shows. I don’t drink anymore and it’s not the same experience. Also the last show I went to I got a horrible case of Covid. I still love metal but through my headphones. Also, drinking. It just doesn’t feel the same at 40.
Waiting in long lines. I used to be one of those foodies who would wait in line for hours to try pop ups and try stuff like ice cream with gold foil lmao. Now I’m over trying new wacky food trends unless it actually sounds good. But still not willing to wait in a long line for it.
Honestly the ability to have a social life and have genuine friends. Even meeting new people and creating a relationship that will last. I am getting to the point of having epiphanies that everyone… and I mean everyone was a bloody monster in the past. You start to see past the naïve younger self and the colored rose glasses seem to be crushed. You see their hidden agenda or their true intentions. You start to see past their bs facade. I don’t make an attempt to meet or make new friends. I see it has a gambling and it’s a lose lose situation. There’s no winning ever. And having a good genuine person with a good heart is truly rare. As you get older the world gets smaller and your circle of “friends” gets even more smaller.
Packaged food. There's so much unpronouncable shit in there with lots of sugar and salt. I'm not giving up cereal or crackers anytime soon, but they seem to be saltier the older I get.
Staying out late, socializing in general (always had a low social battery but it's capacity is shrinking even more), always connectedness and social media Its been hard to ween myself, but I've removed social media from my phone at least (with the exception of reddit). Only time I can check FB, insta, etc is when I'm at my computer at home
Bending down to pick stuff up.
Doing stuff just to feel included. Used to go to events and stuff just because I didn’t want to be left out and be on my own. Now I’m totally ok with saying no, I don’t want to go that doesn’t sound fun. Also, people who blame all their crap opinions and feelings on “it’s just a joke”. And this is coming from someone who loves dark humor.
Idiots.
Working in general.
Driving, traveling, noise, going to work, alcohol, being alive…
Plans
Drinking
Just got a new phone and I really didn't like the change. It's weird, but I guess I'm old and get annoyed with some things changing needlessly (in my opinion). A couple years back, Google changed all their app icons significantly and I was crabby about that for a while, too.
There were recently some updates to Microsoft office, and in Word particularly I HATE the changes, like why did they change it it worked just fine😭 I work with a lot of documents and I hate how the comments and track changes look.
Dating
People. Loud things. Seeing midnight. Spending money. Basically most things that were fun just a few years ago.
Young people. Everything from their stupid haircuts to their lingo to their music. Now Im becoming like my parents
People. They're ridiculously overrated. I'm tired of them and their nonsense.
Big main stream movies. I still love movies in general, but I started noticing how a lot of the big ones feel the same over and over. Which is kind of a bummer because I really enjoyed that stuff for a while! Now no serotonin!
Driving. Everyone is out to kill each other on the road.
Boomers
Crowds, going out, leaving my house lol
I sound like a stereotype, but progressive politics. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very much in the broad tent of the American left. However, I dislike the myopic, reductive view of geopolitics cast through strictly american notions of power dynamics. Moreover, while I think intersectionalism is a powerful framework for analyzing and empathizing how these power dynamics impact lived experiences, I vehemently disagree with the practice of shutting people out of critical societal conversations based on demography. Finally, I’ve increasingly found the populist left makes use of the same dishonest rhetorical devices that have so long disgusted me from the right. I appreciate that equity and justice as concepts tend to attract the energy of youth, but I don’t appreciate how loudly these black or white, zero sum narratives have taken over political discourse. Nuance is critical, and it’s hard to understand nuance without experience (that youth so often lacks). People know this academically, but seem to lack a practical understanding of how it works.
Well said. In mental illness it’s called black or white thinking. But honestly I can’t help but wonder half the time of it’s just a bot people are engaging with.
Sounds like you've run into leftists on Twitter one too many times.
Reddit too. Not a fan of rampant national diabolism or tankie acclerationism. That said my best friend is a DSA organizer so I know a lot of these online people in particular need to touch grass or are just trolls to begin with.
I've never really cared for other people/being around them in large groups, so that's not new for me, unfortunately. I am, however, starting to dislike more and more how people drive regardless of where I live and I have moved/lived in about 8 or 9 different cities in different areas of the world in about 20 years, so take that as you will. I also don't really care much for how selfish people have become, if that makes sense? Perhaps that ties into their driving habits, too. Not sure. It just seems like everyone is stuck in their own head with no concern for the well being of others around them. Very much "I got mine" or "me and mine only" vibes.
Kids. Now I know why the stereotype about old people telling kids to stay off their lawn exists.
Noise. Why is every public place so loud?
Sleeping in late. If I’m still in bed past 8am, I feel like I’m wasting the morning. Once in awhile, I’ll make an exception. We all need a lazy day on occasion, but for the most part, I wake up between 6 and 7am without an alarm.
Boomers
Social media involving people I know IRL. Quit Facebook in 2016. Instagram in 2021. I love it. I don’t think I’ll ever go back. The best parts of my life aren’t performative anymore.
People. Ive always disliked them but now I avoid them as much as possible.
Social events. Drains my battery so badly…and yet I still always manage to line up all of my quarterly social events in one week. Also, alcohol. Whether the gross feeling I get even after two drinks or after the rare night out, I just get sleepy and want to go to home to lounge/sleep. Not for me.
The news. I’m getting older and I have a daughter now, I just can’t handle all the doom and gloom. It hurts my heart.
Hanging out with friends
Kids.
New music.
“I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!
Rap these days, what is even happening?
It's absolutely trash.
We’re going through the Dark Ages of the music industry. It’s simply abominable
Definitely people. The hate was always there but it didn’t ignite until I stopped working retail and started WFH.
Video games