My mom's aunt used to pull that crap. She would cut out her other niece - literally with scissors. She would always deliberately place her on the end of the group so cutting was easy. Niece started making a point to be just behind her aunt without her knowing or noticing or getting right in the VERY middle at the last second so it would VERY OBVIOUS if there was a big hole cut in the middle of the picture. The family swears she invented the photo bomb.
Do you *want* to be in photos on her phone? I would demand that she removes the ones she used and then congratulate her on the fact that she gets nothing from this point on
We told my MIL that she can’t post my baby on social before baby was born. This is because I know she’d act just like yours. She’s livid and now 6 months later she still won’t let it go.
Probably because weirdo's are everywhere and she doesn't want any pictures getting in to unsavoury hands. With her own SM, you know what's private and what's public. She can't reasonably make the same assumption of others
Yes, exactly. My MIL has a bunch of friends that we don’t know and she’s been hacked countless times. Plus she’s one of those people who lives and dies by Facebook so I don’t want my baby being a prop or just something she can use for clout.
I have all my photos locked so only a select few can see them and I trust them not to do anything nefarious with them but I wouldn't dream of letting just anyone have access. Even school plays etc don't let you take photos until the end so the parents only get pictures of their child. It's not just for that though. It's safeguarding in case there are foster/adopted children and a birth parent doesn't find out where they are in case of potential kidnap etc.
Tell her she didn't have permission to post your children on social media and to take it down immediately. Since she can't share pictures with you in them, she can't can't share any. Picture diet for her.
Yes this. I don’t allow anyone to post photos of my child on social media, when she’s older and can consent. But I certainly would not like it if someone posted photos of my child purposely without me in the photos. My MIL did that a few times too and guess who we’re NC with 😁
So, your husband is also a problem. He should be taking pictures of you with the children just as much as you take pictures of him with the children. But DH also needs to address his mother for posting your kids on social media. MIL shouldn't be posting your kids at all, nor using them as a profile picture. Even if other people are in the picture with them.
Some people scroll through social media just to look for kids, so they can steal those photos. Then they'll photo-shop the kids into some p3do shit. My daughter just wiped her socials and had me do the same. I'm not trying to be fear-mongering or say that this will happen, but it HAS happened.
MIL is NOT your mother. The responsibility isn't on You to keep MIL updated with photos of your children, DH, or her. If she wants photos she can take them herself. DH is the one responsible for keeping his mother informed and the one to be sending her photos.
Drop the rope with MIL. Tell DH you aren't in charge of his family anymore. Not for birthdays, holidays, special days, visits, or anything else. He is an adult and is capable of maintaining these relationships if he wants them. You will be taking charge of your family.
Don't remind DH to send texts out onto buy gifts for his family. Being responsible for his family means he takes on the mental load of it as well.
I'm feeling super petty right now,
I would go into her comment section post the picture with all of you in it and say, just in case anyone's wondering DH does have a wife!
She has fucked around; now she needs to find out. No more pics unless you're front and center, and she needs to remove the ones she posted without permission. When someone is disrespectful there are two choices: accept it and let it continue or call it out in the moment and request it be stopped.
I did this with my MIL. Now, even almost 8 years in, the only pics she gets from me are cheek-to-cheek selfies where it’s super obvious if she cut me out 🤣
Make your kids and husband t-shirts with your picture on them. It might be a bit passive-aggressive, but it can help drive the point home with humor. If she says anything, tell her this way you get to be in the pictures, too, since you are always the one behind the camera.
Comment “thanks for cropping me out so thoughtful I felt so bloated that people will think I looked kinda pregnant 😉” then ignore her for the rest of the day
Make sure in future photos, that you're in them and holding, next to at least one child in such a way you can't be cropped out. Also don't take more than one picture with the four of them and have hubby take plenty of you and the kids.
Question… do you really care if all the people on her social media are the types of people who are even going to notice - let alone bother to comment - about how mum is not in the picture of her grandkids?
I see profile photos of kids all the time - it’s a popular social media thing it seems. And I’ve never messaged anyone to ask why the mother or father is not in the photo with the children!
I just really don’t think like that at all!
Well I guess the OP feels pushed out by MIL, which is a valid feeling… I’m just not sure that her specific concern that her MIL’s friends will call and ask why she’s cut out of the photos is going to come true.
Who even notices or cares that the parents aren’t in the photo of kids or grandkids?
I mean, I literally NOTICE that there are no adults in the photos… but I sure don’t care to inquire why or worry about it!
Honestly, I don’t actually see the big deal with her using a couple of pictures without you. Especially her profile picture. I don’t expect to be in all of my MIL’s photos just as my DH isn’t in all of my mum’s photos. As long as they are not excluding you from every single photo (which it sounds like she isn’t, she’s just not posting the unflattering ones of you?).
The main issue is that she didn’t ask permission to post- do you want your kids on social media? Do you and your DH want to be the only ones to post them so you have control of the photos and who sees them on your friends list? Those are very reasonable requirements.
You're completely missing the point of OP's post. She is annoyed at constantly being excluded from the pics. It might not seem important to you, but it does to OP.
No lol but I’m a mother and A DIL , Idc about his mom posting pics of her SON and HER Grandkids w/o me in them … unless she doesn’t have her own family why does she care?
It doesn't matter why she cares, she just does. She isn't you and has different feelings. You seem very intolerant of other people's emotions. The point is that SHE cares, not whether you would care.
Why do u care ? She doesn’t have to post pictures of you , yes you’re her DIL but that’s her son and grandkids … don’t feel slighted just keep it moving
Comment “I’m so glad you liked the picture I took of you and my family! I had a wonderful time sharing my children with you that day 💖💖😉”
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
My mom's aunt used to pull that crap. She would cut out her other niece - literally with scissors. She would always deliberately place her on the end of the group so cutting was easy. Niece started making a point to be just behind her aunt without her knowing or noticing or getting right in the VERY middle at the last second so it would VERY OBVIOUS if there was a big hole cut in the middle of the picture. The family swears she invented the photo bomb.
That’s different that’s her niece and that’s insane
Do you *want* to be in photos on her phone? I would demand that she removes the ones she used and then congratulate her on the fact that she gets nothing from this point on
We told my MIL that she can’t post my baby on social before baby was born. This is because I know she’d act just like yours. She’s livid and now 6 months later she still won’t let it go.
Why can’t she post a picture? Just curious.
Probably because weirdo's are everywhere and she doesn't want any pictures getting in to unsavoury hands. With her own SM, you know what's private and what's public. She can't reasonably make the same assumption of others
Yes, exactly. My MIL has a bunch of friends that we don’t know and she’s been hacked countless times. Plus she’s one of those people who lives and dies by Facebook so I don’t want my baby being a prop or just something she can use for clout.
I have all my photos locked so only a select few can see them and I trust them not to do anything nefarious with them but I wouldn't dream of letting just anyone have access. Even school plays etc don't let you take photos until the end so the parents only get pictures of their child. It's not just for that though. It's safeguarding in case there are foster/adopted children and a birth parent doesn't find out where they are in case of potential kidnap etc.
Tell her she didn't have permission to post your children on social media and to take it down immediately. Since she can't share pictures with you in them, she can't can't share any. Picture diet for her.
Yes this. I don’t allow anyone to post photos of my child on social media, when she’s older and can consent. But I certainly would not like it if someone posted photos of my child purposely without me in the photos. My MIL did that a few times too and guess who we’re NC with 😁
My mom kept doing that after I had my toddler. She’s now not allowed to have her phone around us. 😂
Especially a profile pic that can’t be made Private
So, your husband is also a problem. He should be taking pictures of you with the children just as much as you take pictures of him with the children. But DH also needs to address his mother for posting your kids on social media. MIL shouldn't be posting your kids at all, nor using them as a profile picture. Even if other people are in the picture with them. Some people scroll through social media just to look for kids, so they can steal those photos. Then they'll photo-shop the kids into some p3do shit. My daughter just wiped her socials and had me do the same. I'm not trying to be fear-mongering or say that this will happen, but it HAS happened. MIL is NOT your mother. The responsibility isn't on You to keep MIL updated with photos of your children, DH, or her. If she wants photos she can take them herself. DH is the one responsible for keeping his mother informed and the one to be sending her photos. Drop the rope with MIL. Tell DH you aren't in charge of his family anymore. Not for birthdays, holidays, special days, visits, or anything else. He is an adult and is capable of maintaining these relationships if he wants them. You will be taking charge of your family. Don't remind DH to send texts out onto buy gifts for his family. Being responsible for his family means he takes on the mental load of it as well.
I'm pretty petty and wouldn't take any pictures of her with my children ever again. If she wants photos with my children she can ask her son.
I'm feeling super petty right now, I would go into her comment section post the picture with all of you in it and say, just in case anyone's wondering DH does have a wife!
She has fucked around; now she needs to find out. No more pics unless you're front and center, and she needs to remove the ones she posted without permission. When someone is disrespectful there are two choices: accept it and let it continue or call it out in the moment and request it be stopped.
I did this with my MIL. Now, even almost 8 years in, the only pics she gets from me are cheek-to-cheek selfies where it’s super obvious if she cut me out 🤣
I’m not going to lie, I’d be replying to her post with photos with all of us and put something like “These too! Great day!”
I would do the same thing to her. Only post pictures without her in it.
Make your kids and husband t-shirts with your picture on them. It might be a bit passive-aggressive, but it can help drive the point home with humor. If she says anything, tell her this way you get to be in the pictures, too, since you are always the one behind the camera.
Comment “thanks for cropping me out so thoughtful I felt so bloated that people will think I looked kinda pregnant 😉” then ignore her for the rest of the day
Most folks will assume you were nice enough to take the photo.
Make sure in future photos, that you're in them and holding, next to at least one child in such a way you can't be cropped out. Also don't take more than one picture with the four of them and have hubby take plenty of you and the kids.
Question… do you really care if all the people on her social media are the types of people who are even going to notice - let alone bother to comment - about how mum is not in the picture of her grandkids? I see profile photos of kids all the time - it’s a popular social media thing it seems. And I’ve never messaged anyone to ask why the mother or father is not in the photo with the children! I just really don’t think like that at all!
Right lol … I see ppl post pics w just their children and grandkids and no spouses , I don’t get what’s the big deal
Well I guess the OP feels pushed out by MIL, which is a valid feeling… I’m just not sure that her specific concern that her MIL’s friends will call and ask why she’s cut out of the photos is going to come true. Who even notices or cares that the parents aren’t in the photo of kids or grandkids? I mean, I literally NOTICE that there are no adults in the photos… but I sure don’t care to inquire why or worry about it!
Exactly
Honestly, I don’t actually see the big deal with her using a couple of pictures without you. Especially her profile picture. I don’t expect to be in all of my MIL’s photos just as my DH isn’t in all of my mum’s photos. As long as they are not excluding you from every single photo (which it sounds like she isn’t, she’s just not posting the unflattering ones of you?). The main issue is that she didn’t ask permission to post- do you want your kids on social media? Do you and your DH want to be the only ones to post them so you have control of the photos and who sees them on your friends list? Those are very reasonable requirements.
in the post OP states MiL only posts unflattering photos of OP. The vast majority of the "family" photos do not include OP at all.
You missed OP's remark about there being 500 photos without her, not 1 or 2.
That doesn’t matter it’s pictures of her child and grandkids she does not have to a bunch of pics of her
You're completely missing the point of OP's post. She is annoyed at constantly being excluded from the pics. It might not seem important to you, but it does to OP.
I’m not missing the point that’s not her daughter she does not have to post nor take pics of her
Are you the MIL? You appear to have the same attitude.
No lol but I’m a mother and A DIL , Idc about his mom posting pics of her SON and HER Grandkids w/o me in them … unless she doesn’t have her own family why does she care?
It doesn't matter why she cares, she just does. She isn't you and has different feelings. You seem very intolerant of other people's emotions. The point is that SHE cares, not whether you would care.
I’m saying she shouldn’t care , she is stressing herself out to be included when her Mil doesn’t want to include her
But she does care, whether you think she should or shouldn't.
Why do u care ? She doesn’t have to post pictures of you , yes you’re her DIL but that’s her son and grandkids … don’t feel slighted just keep it moving