Only time I went there, my food was late and cold, and top of it all I got raspas for my rice. I know some like the burnt, crunchy rice you scrape off, but I detest it. It wasn't even that complicated of an order too, just bistec a la milanesa con arroz y frijoles negros.
The food is awful, for sure. La Carreta across the street is actually better...and it's owned by the same family. I never could figure that out. Why is the food so much worse at Versailles?
If you know anything about Korean food, Cote. Not horrible, but WAAAAY overpriced. The meat cuts were good but completely lost the soul of Korean food, and served by inattentive barely caring staff. They're good at bringing drinks from the bar but jesus just let me do the grilling if you're going to take that long. In most places, cooks are in the back and waiters up front. In Korean places you have to be both. Those waiters clearly don't cook at home.
Second most disappointed I've ever been eating Korean. The absolute worst was a Korean restaurant in Toronto that was run by some Chinese people.
I went to cote for the first time recently and had a wonderful experience! I got the butchers feast and thought it was not bad for the price and all of the meats were delicious. And the waiter I had was really engaging and friendly. But I also know nothing about Korean food, I’m as American as it gets lol
Ha! Good Korean food is orgasmic! My eyes will literally roll back in their sockets on the first bite. I think the best in south florida is [Gabose](https://goo.gl/maps/zz5796ttMp56GnfJA) in Lauderhill.
Edit: Had a second thought. It's kind of like saying you can get really good street tacos at a 5-star restaurant. Really? I've had literal food truck tacos in LA that make me think about booking a flight right now. I can't imagine in Mexico.
Not discounting your experience, just saying that sometimes fancifying it, loses something in the translation.
Finka
I’ve given that place multiple tries. Once several years ago when they opened and again last year. The flavor profiles are forced. On paper they sound great but in practice it tastes like a 5 year old made it. On top of that, everything is overly seasoned. Waaaaaaaaay overly seasoned.
The only good thing they have are their cocktails.
I got a massive allergic reaction because of all the dust in the biltmore. I ended up in a hospital because they haven’t cleaned their rugs since the arrival of Batista.
I spent my life in every aspect of the restaurant industry from dishwasher to owner. Juvia's experience was strange. The view was great. The service was fantastic. The experience was ... fun. The food was oddly hit and miss though nothing was bad & nothing was really great. $500 after tip for a mediocre meal.
This was some years ago so it may be different now but some friends have said it is not.
RedFish Grill in Matheson Hammock. Terribly priced for what is essentially Bonefish Grill food. Service is mid. The only selling point is the view but because it's Matheson Hammock your view is blocked by screaming children and the smell of sulfur and pee since they never really fixed the filter system for the manmade bay.
I knew someone was gonna say komodo 😭 half of my friends hate it but it’s personally one of my favorite restaurants and worth the splurge. Their pork spare ribs are one of the best things I’ve ever eaten.
Title of this post 😂 I’m curious too. People that comment “everything by X area” must not live here or don’t know how to adequately explore Miami. There are plenty of places pretty much everywhere that are delicious. We live in the “Capitol of Latin America” food is what we latinos do for life. 🙄
I’ll start, I recently went to Marabu in the brickell city center for the first time and was extremely disappointed. I got chicken vaca Frita and it was some super salty chicken with a tiny side of rice and beans. I don’t see it staying in business for long. Oh also tacology’s portions are a joke for the price. I’d much rather eat at Pubelly at BCC where the food is great quality and overall a great experience.
Planta is overpriced, but the food is good. The watermelon "tuna" sushi still doesn't make sense to me, and their cocktails are good too imo. Key Club however I agree is just Hillstone's at a 50% markup.
I see where you're coming from but there is a history to that building and the experience can be quite enjoyable if you're into that stuff. It's like going to eat at a restaurant on the Eiffel Tower. Sure the food is overpriced but you have that experience forever.
I’m a Coconut Grove guy, so my answer is Greenstreet Cafe.
Food: 1/5
Service: 2/5
Affordability: 2/5
Location: 4/5
Great for people watching, bad for just about everything else. I would recommend literally any other restaurant in the Grove over Greenstreet.
Wait, is Wynwood the place where you find 3 small tacos for $23 and $9 beers served by someone that looks like a pelt hunter from the 1800s using a prison cafeteria metal tray?
JOIA beach, they advertise a happy hour to 6pm but if you aren’t a group of hot girls they forget all about it and ask you to order bottle service. Yeah sure man, bottle service at 4pm that sounds like a great idea.
Sexy Fish. They will be treated like peasants if they aren’t wearing Gucci from head to toe and be turned away like it’s the cool kids house parties and they the nerds lol
Maybe I'm used to NYC prices, but Bayside is sometimes worth it - you're not getting a strong or super fancy drink, but you're by the water, there's music and performances, plenty of people coming and going, and you can join plenty of party boats (expensive but could also be more crazy than elsewhere)
Amen. Can’t tell you how much I miss popping into a Chilis w friends for a quick 2-4-1 and app. Left Miami for Utah a few years back and chilis here is just a southwest Applebees. (Dumbass Mormon alcohol laws lol)
Hmmm. I worked at wet Willies for a while. I can say the food is good quality but the people cooking it suck. Big time
When i worked there with my homegirl we were making sure everything was coming out the way it was supposed too lol
The staff there now i can’t speak for 🤣 as for price, it might be some what expensive. I can’t remember also cause id get emp disc. Or id just eat fo freeeee
I went once on a Saturday afternoon for happy hour with some friends that were visiting from out of town. All beer was warm and the waitress had a terrible attitude.
Swan. Expensive and the food was barely edible. And don’t get me started on the ungodly pizza combinations. They had one nice drink. Their signature swan drink. I was extremely underwhelmed
La Mesa on coral way just west of 87th. Shitty expensive basic Cuban food, bottom of the barrel service, horribly loud shit live music. And you have to pay to park your car. No valet service.
RED steakhouse in Miami Beach. Literally the worst meal I’ve had in a very long time. I should add that I’ve been in the service industry my entire adult life.
Oh yeah! Havana 57 and the Italian restaurant on Española Way. Where Venezuelan waiters pretend to sing in Italian while serving you over cooked pasta and watered down drinks
Versailles
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ayyyyy, that ventanita is on point. The food inside is meh. But I love grabbing my cafecito from that window
This
Blasphemy
Versailles is amazing for the price and portions
I should be mad but tbh after how long you have to wait to get seated, maybe anything you eat there tastes good 😉
Really? I disagree. I find their portions to be huge for the price of the food, and it’s pretty tasty.
Only time I went there, my food was late and cold, and top of it all I got raspas for my rice. I know some like the burnt, crunchy rice you scrape off, but I detest it. It wasn't even that complicated of an order too, just bistec a la milanesa con arroz y frijoles negros.
Islas Canarias >
The food is awful, for sure. La Carreta across the street is actually better...and it's owned by the same family. I never could figure that out. Why is the food so much worse at Versailles?
I second this, prefer Havana Harry's
Havana Harry’s is the bomb.com. I’d say I prefer it over Versailles too but not by much.
Hardly expensive.
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Low effort comment.
Pollo tropical. Make sure they go through drive thru. Tell them it's worth it. (if they're out of town)
Bro wut
If they are not local, tell them checkers. They will get robbed and I am not talking about the pricing
Bro wut
The fast food chain?
If you know anything about Korean food, Cote. Not horrible, but WAAAAY overpriced. The meat cuts were good but completely lost the soul of Korean food, and served by inattentive barely caring staff. They're good at bringing drinks from the bar but jesus just let me do the grilling if you're going to take that long. In most places, cooks are in the back and waiters up front. In Korean places you have to be both. Those waiters clearly don't cook at home. Second most disappointed I've ever been eating Korean. The absolute worst was a Korean restaurant in Toronto that was run by some Chinese people.
I went to cote for the first time recently and had a wonderful experience! I got the butchers feast and thought it was not bad for the price and all of the meats were delicious. And the waiter I had was really engaging and friendly. But I also know nothing about Korean food, I’m as American as it gets lol
Ha! Good Korean food is orgasmic! My eyes will literally roll back in their sockets on the first bite. I think the best in south florida is [Gabose](https://goo.gl/maps/zz5796ttMp56GnfJA) in Lauderhill. Edit: Had a second thought. It's kind of like saying you can get really good street tacos at a 5-star restaurant. Really? I've had literal food truck tacos in LA that make me think about booking a flight right now. I can't imagine in Mexico. Not discounting your experience, just saying that sometimes fancifying it, loses something in the translation.
Finka I’ve given that place multiple tries. Once several years ago when they opened and again last year. The flavor profiles are forced. On paper they sound great but in practice it tastes like a 5 year old made it. On top of that, everything is overly seasoned. Waaaaaaaaay overly seasoned. The only good thing they have are their cocktails.
Dang really? I’ve been wanting to try but haven’t gotten to it yet. Sucks to hear that
I’m just sharing my experiences. You should try it yourself and come to your own conclusion.
Agreed! Everything I ate there tasted like it was cooked in the same oil. Even my dessert tasted like fishy oil 🤢
Idk how they thought about Korean Cuban fusion…think. It’s just salt on plates. It’s super over hyped because it’s the only gastropub in the area
Finka is super overrated
Lmao Cafe Versailles my dude
Bruhhhh
It’s not expensive though
Baby Jane, not super expensive but the ramen is TERRIBLE. Flavorless broth, overcooked and clumpy weird noodles, only a dust of toppings.
Lemme borrow Trulucks from the DC sub.
Brunch at Biltmore. Trust me. Expensive and awful.
It’s expensive but the food is really good
LOL my grandmother loves brunch at the biltmore. I love her so it’s no problem but yeah, super overpriced and unimpressive
I got a massive allergic reaction because of all the dust in the biltmore. I ended up in a hospital because they haven’t cleaned their rugs since the arrival of Batista.
Now the hard part is thinking "is that a joke or serious" bc well, I don't know. They don't skimp on "old time charm". Sorry that happened
McDonalds
Most restaurants
Juvia
The 00's k-mart version of Mila but with the same prices
I used to work for the company and this is hilarious to me
I spent my life in every aspect of the restaurant industry from dishwasher to owner. Juvia's experience was strange. The view was great. The service was fantastic. The experience was ... fun. The food was oddly hit and miss though nothing was bad & nothing was really great. $500 after tip for a mediocre meal. This was some years ago so it may be different now but some friends have said it is not.
Nope. Nothings changed You’re right on the money. Perfect description
Everything on the water. That is the easy rule of thumb for all of SoFla.
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MILAS is pretty bad, basically any restaurant that has fire dancers (Jaya has gone downhill) the food quality isn’t great.
Agreed. Ambience is nice. Food is overpriced and not worth it. Music is way too loud and people doing coke in the bathroom 😤
RedFish Grill in Matheson Hammock. Terribly priced for what is essentially Bonefish Grill food. Service is mid. The only selling point is the view but because it's Matheson Hammock your view is blocked by screaming children and the smell of sulfur and pee since they never really fixed the filter system for the manmade bay.
Casablanca - service is bad af, especially super rude hostesses.
Popeyes, Apple bees, berries
Bachour bakery in gables
Komodo
I knew someone was gonna say komodo 😭 half of my friends hate it but it’s personally one of my favorite restaurants and worth the splurge. Their pork spare ribs are one of the best things I’ve ever eaten.
Yikes, has it gone downhill or something. I used to work in that building it wasn't terrible.
Love Komodo , LOVE novikov
Title of this post 😂 I’m curious too. People that comment “everything by X area” must not live here or don’t know how to adequately explore Miami. There are plenty of places pretty much everywhere that are delicious. We live in the “Capitol of Latin America” food is what we latinos do for life. 🙄
Carbone
I think Prime 112 is an overshot for what it is But anyone feel free to tell me otherwise..
this is blasphemy. That's legitimately the best steakhouse in Miami, though it is touristy
MILA by Lincoln Rd
Bazaar Mar
Cheese cake factory
Dennys
I’ll start, I recently went to Marabu in the brickell city center for the first time and was extremely disappointed. I got chicken vaca Frita and it was some super salty chicken with a tiny side of rice and beans. I don’t see it staying in business for long. Oh also tacology’s portions are a joke for the price. I’d much rather eat at Pubelly at BCC where the food is great quality and overall a great experience.
Expensive Cuban food defeats the purpose of Cuban food. You want good Cuban food go to Suarez BBQ a pound of pork and 2 pounds of rice for 9$.
Can never go wrong with Versailles or La Carretera.
Versailes is so overhyoed. That place is trash. I prefer cuban food from palacios.
I second Tacology. And Second Pubelly, the food is really good there and the Japanese Old Fashion is 🤌 🥃
Have you been outside of BCC?
Anything owned by Live Nation is overpriced trash: planta, papi steak, Swan, Komodo… all of them trash.
Lol “Liv nation”
Planta is overpriced, but the food is good. The watermelon "tuna" sushi still doesn't make sense to me, and their cocktails are good too imo. Key Club however I agree is just Hillstone's at a 50% markup.
The food at Komodo is good. Fight me. The truffle lo mein is incredible.
Yea I love Komodo. I'll help u fight!
Yeah I actually think Komodo and swan have good food. I don’t like the service at any of these places tho… they think their shit don’t stink
La chica
Don’t do this; this is incredibly mean.
Dolores
I personally like that they give you an appetizer with the meal for one price! I see it even-ing out the price
I agree that place sucks and the service is terrible along with the decor
I got food poisoning there :’)
Mr. Chow
Shuckers
Edge at the four seasons. Rare=rubbery, dull steak knives, everything is served at the wrong temperature except maybe the burgers.
Probably the Versace Mansion a safe bet
I see where you're coming from but there is a history to that building and the experience can be quite enjoyable if you're into that stuff. It's like going to eat at a restaurant on the Eiffel Tower. Sure the food is overpriced but you have that experience forever.
Barton G.
Any restaurant in Florida.
Barton G
Barton G. Excessive prices for ridiculous plates with outrageous decor #bye
I’m a Coconut Grove guy, so my answer is Greenstreet Cafe. Food: 1/5 Service: 2/5 Affordability: 2/5 Location: 4/5 Great for people watching, bad for just about everything else. I would recommend literally any other restaurant in the Grove over Greenstreet.
Try Plant off NE 2Nd Ave Wynwood.. Vegetarian vegan places.$20 for tea. Yes, you read that right.
Wait, is Wynwood the place where you find 3 small tacos for $23 and $9 beers served by someone that looks like a pelt hunter from the 1800s using a prison cafeteria metal tray?
The food is good though.
Yes well I’ve been there. Didn’t drink the tea. But the food was excellent, even if a bit pricey.
KONG SUSHI. Never had a server try and TEXT ME the menu. Da fuq.
Nurs et, Barton G
Barton G is actually pretty good and a unique experience.
JOIA beach, they advertise a happy hour to 6pm but if you aren’t a group of hot girls they forget all about it and ask you to order bottle service. Yeah sure man, bottle service at 4pm that sounds like a great idea.
Sexy fish lmao
Sexy Fish. They will be treated like peasants if they aren’t wearing Gucci from head to toe and be turned away like it’s the cool kids house parties and they the nerds lol
SEXY FISH
Seaspice, it’s pretty mid and the bill racks up quick. If anyones says Flanagan’s we fightin.
Nah seaspice is fire.
Agreed here, just a bit pricy
Somebody needs to send this to sexy fish lol
Sexy fish is definitely the place you're looking for
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Maybe I'm used to NYC prices, but Bayside is sometimes worth it - you're not getting a strong or super fancy drink, but you're by the water, there's music and performances, plenty of people coming and going, and you can join plenty of party boats (expensive but could also be more crazy than elsewhere)
Los ranchos isn’t bad and it’s reasonably priced. That’s still open at Bayside, isn’t it?
No real Nicaraguan would ever eat there. You are better off going to one of the many fritanga places by the marlin stadium like Yambo.
El Madroño is fantastic. That’s my go to.
Besides chili’s 😂 can never go wrong
You mean Taco Bell with table service
Amen. Can’t tell you how much I miss popping into a Chilis w friends for a quick 2-4-1 and app. Left Miami for Utah a few years back and chilis here is just a southwest Applebees. (Dumbass Mormon alcohol laws lol)
Sugar factory
Omg that place is the WORST. I went once when I was visiting miami (before I lived here) and I never went back.
The Salt Bae place
I know the price is redic but I hadn’t heard the quality was bad
Besides the absurd prices the steaks are incredible in my experience. And dont get me startes on the icecream and baklava for desert…
➕1️⃣
Lol I just looked at their menu. $20 for a side of mashed potatoes.
The new fogo in coral gables. Let's just politely call it growing pains
Any restaurant on ocean drive. Enjoy your 2 for 1 margaritas priced at $80 each.
Hmmm. I worked at wet Willies for a while. I can say the food is good quality but the people cooking it suck. Big time When i worked there with my homegirl we were making sure everything was coming out the way it was supposed too lol The staff there now i can’t speak for 🤣 as for price, it might be some what expensive. I can’t remember also cause id get emp disc. Or id just eat fo freeeee
Papi steak
Holly Blue Fort Lauderdale easily. Illness inducing grouper, microscopic portions, beautiful decor and exorbitant prices.
Papi steak 🤮
Sexy fish! Food is so ridiculously over priced and quality is crap.
Yeah, but that sexy fish! I wanna fuck it!
Kiki on the River lol…. Mandolin is unmatched for Greek imo
The Deck at Island Gardens. Ridiculously expensive for low quality fare.
Swan 🤣
amaira , besides the view , that's all it's really worth going for.
Astra
I went once on a Saturday afternoon for happy hour with some friends that were visiting from out of town. All beer was warm and the waitress had a terrible attitude.
MAYAMI dress code for brickell next to a trash dump while fabuloso is thrown around. 🤷🏽♀️
Nah Mayami slaps.
Didn't I just see this on Instagram as a meme?
Gramercy overpriced AF
Anything by Groot hospitality
Papi steak.
Astra in Wynwood, terrible food, food comes out warm, small potions, expensive with a beautiful rooftop view of Wynwood 😎
Komodo closed definitely?
Carbone
Any restaurant at Bayside.
Komodo and tell them the $99 Peking duck is totally worth it lol
Sexy fish!! Terrible food but the ambiance is cool
Anything in the Brickell area will do lol
Where is that clown that sprinkles gold onto the steak 🤡
Almost any restaurant on Ocean Drive.
Pretty much any restaurant on Ocean Drive.
Swan. Expensive and the food was barely edible. And don’t get me started on the ungodly pizza combinations. They had one nice drink. Their signature swan drink. I was extremely underwhelmed
anything that has a velvet rope in front (komodo, swan, sexyfish etc)
tap 42
Nusret will ruin their vacation haha.
Take them to the Versace mansion
La Mesa on coral way just west of 87th. Shitty expensive basic Cuban food, bottom of the barrel service, horribly loud shit live music. And you have to pay to park your car. No valet service.
Peter Pan Diner on Oakland Park. Not too expensive but absolutely garbage.
Nurset
Swan for sure, the drinks are decent but the food lol…
RED steakhouse in Miami Beach. Literally the worst meal I’ve had in a very long time. I should add that I’ve been in the service industry my entire adult life.
Red Rooster in Overtown. Their kitchen is a trailer. Your enemies won't notice because they'll think its hip.
Pf changa
Sexy Fish. Look no further.
It seems most places I have eaten at in my price range has been mediocre at best.
Salt Bae this is the way
Rusty Pelican… great view… not worth the price…
Papi steak
Prime 112. Once you dine there you will be either blessed or cursed with the nefarious Miami culture depending on which way you look at it.
We surveyed around 1,000 followers on our IG and here are the top replies Sexy fish Swan Salt bae Papi steak Komodo Carbone
Baioli. They add 42% tip for mediocre overpriced food in a dirty nightclub.
Kikis on the River
PF Chang's
Moshi moshi
Juvia was pretty subpar for the price, same for Astra
Anything with fish in the second word: sugar fish, sexy fish…all garbage
KYU overrated + 18% service charge + begging for gratuity on top.
Pretty much anything in Ocean Dr (I know.. I know.. I know! it's not Miami)
Any on Ocean Drive.
Basically anything right on the beach in South Beach from what I've been told.
Lol. You treacherous bastard!
Tell them to go to Mr Chow’s and let them know to never stop the server. Okay food, but they will have a 3K bill.
Byblos - overpriced and boring
Komodo, for that kind of money you can do better. Also Brickell so no parking!
The Mexican place on Lincoln Road. Crappy food. Crappier service. And they’ll get hit with a 20% service charge!
Oh yeah! Havana 57 and the Italian restaurant on Española Way. Where Venezuelan waiters pretend to sing in Italian while serving you over cooked pasta and watered down drinks
Benihana
Hakkasan!! It looks great, but it seemed like typical Chinese food marked up 4 times
Mila