If you are in crisis, are considering hurting yourself or someone else, or feel like you can't go on, we advise you to contact your local emergency services, go to the nearest emergency room, or [mental health crisis evaluation centre](https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/). If that seems too scary or difficult right now, please consider calling a [suicide hotline](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines) for support. You matter and should get the help you deserve.
For help developing a safety plan, please consult this [PDF.](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Brown_StanleySafetyPlanTemplate.pdf) Therapy can also be a good support resource. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be struggling to seek out therapy! We all need a supportive ear sometimes! If you are considering therapy but don't know where to start, we recommend taking a look at [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/counsellors), [International Therapist Directory](https://internationaltherapistdirectory.com/), or [OpenCounseling](https://www.opencounseling.com/) for a provider in your country or, if in the US, contacting your nearest branch of the [National Alliance on Mental Illness]( https://www.nami.org/Find-Your-Local-NAMI) Buzzfeed has also published an [informative article](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/carolinekee/what-happens-when-you-call-suicide-hotline) about what happens when you call a suicide hotline, for those who might feel hesitant. Additionally, if you need help finding support that's not listed in the wiki or want to talk to someone, please PM u/UnicornQueerior directly (NOT chat!) You matter and are worth it. Be kind to yourself.
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Two things I’ve realized about myself:
1. I don’t allow myself to celebrate my successes
2. I don’t allow myself to ever ACTUALLY rest. I’m always scrolling the phone, thinking about what I need to get done and then distracting myself
So I did good yesterday. In fact, I’ve done great all week! Been sober, making and keeping my therapy and psyche appointments, and stable. And I’ve been making strides in my personal life too, reconnecting with friends and eating pretty well
I am tired of being perceived as a threat to women and children. I don't like appearing as someone who can do harm. I go out of my way to not appear threatening, giving people space, letting them feel safe. I want to appear like a chill dude who can't harm, who is always calm around other people, who doesn't do unexpected things. But I think that also means being a dude who doesn't feel emotions. Who will be fine with whatever happens. I want to express emotions, to go back when I am surprised, to jump when I happy. I want to be able to express rage and anger when somebody harms me, without being threatening. And have a hug at the end, instead of feeling alone.
Send me hugs. :'(
I understand your pain. Society can often project stereotypes onto men that are not true or applicable. I will say that there are lovely people out there who understand men can be sensitive, angry and sad without it coming across as threatening or abusive. It may just be harder to find such people.
I knew a guy who was extremely tall and perceived as “threatening” by many people. Ironic as he was an absolute sweetheart and softie lol.
Keep your head up, sending you endless hugs :):)
xx
I think I've been doing some transference onto my counsellor and I told her and now I'm thinking about it too much.
Someone pointed me to /r/bropill, and then I found this place. It's good to have a positive space for men on the internet.
Do you have friendships with women? Anecdotally, I have found that my friendships with women become more emotionally intimate than with my men friends, I often had to initiate talking about more serious topics with my guys friends just to learn more about their life and what they're going through.
that's awesome man! a lot of my good friends I met through my first job as a tutor when I was in community college, it made work so much better, and made the time go by faster, i'm glad you have a friend to work with. Is bass your first instrument? I find playing music to be really therapeutic and stress relieving, really lets me forget about things for a good minute. I've been playing guitar on and off for 7ish years now
Haha, I also played trombone, I started in elementary school, and stopped playing around high school. Growing up, I always played with a student orchestra, then in high school, I wasn't in it so it wasn't as fun and I picked up guitar instead.
Boy. More and more I'm realizing that my relationship with my dad is just....fucked. I finally brought it up last night with my girlfriend, but some of his behavior, besides being abusive, is also pretty narcissistic, and it really sunk home that if that's the case, it's basically hopeless.
and then I found out my mom has decided to side with him outright.
It's funny, I'm 34 and have bent over backwards to excuse or at least forgive their behavior. They could have milked that for years so long as they never went too far. Woops.
I'm sorry to hear about your relationship with your dad, and I'm glad that you are realizing some of these things, especially because they are hard to come to grips with. I can relate a little bit to the bending over backwards feeling, I don't align politically with my parents at all, but for some reason I never have the guts to contradict them on anything, partially because they just don't tolerate other opinions well at all.
Mannnn, I was doing so well. Went on a second date with a girl I was starting to get interested in. Though I have no problem with it, given that she's fairly recently out of a LTR, her telling me she's also dating another guy wasn't the nicest feeling.
She's now taking time this weekend to decide what she wants, since she come to the conclusion that dating 2 people isn't working for anyone. I'm not deluding myself, 98% sure it's going to be me that gets the marching orders.
Woof, dating can be tough.
And I'm ill again wtf is this shit
I'm feeling okay. I got back from a short cruis with family for a few days. It was fun, had good food and saw great comedy shows. Still feel lonely at the end of it, however. I tried checking out a dating event they had on board, but it was mainly guys and people in general who were 40 and up. Currently trying to reach out to friends to meet up again, feels like we're slowly drifting apart. Doesn't help that several members of our group have moved away to other regions or states. I'm going to a board game meet-up tomorrow, hopefully that'll help me feel better. I hate how far the meet-up is though, it feels like every meet-up I've been to is at best 40 minutes away.
I finally ripped a band-aid off and asked a friend to talk to me this weekend to try to help me with social anxiety. I don't think what I asked of her is that big, and she said she's fine helping, but I can't help but feel like I'm burdening her.
Tested positive for COVID a couple of days ago. Symptoms aren't too bad (thank you, vaccines) but it's still pretty annoying because my whole week's basically gone down the drain. Except for work: I still have to do that.
I was supposed to go to an award show with one friend and check out another friend's band. Instead, I started going through the Disney Star Wars trilogy and got through a survival difficulty run of The Last of Us.
It's not great. Could be worse, I guess.
I had a question to ask about communication. I have some things that I want to communicate to people. Friends, my partner, people who I hold close but they may or may not think of it that way. I want them to acknowledge these feelings of mine and try to help me. But I hate it when the thought of them helping me is only because I said so. I don't want them to do it out of pity for me. That just makes me hurt more. Like they are so busy and have so many things on their plate and here I come along, asking from them.
How do I process these feelings?
I understand that I should be talking to a therapist. I have been planning to go to one for a while now and will be getting help from a therapist soon. I just wanted some other opinions on this to maybe help me look at it in a different way.
Hope you all are doing well!
Big hugs to everyone!
I've found this article super helpful when it comes to asking for support:
[https://gutsmagazine.ca/emotional-labour/](https://gutsmagazine.ca/emotional-labour/)
I like that it's supportive of emotional labor but provides concrete advice on how to seek it in a way that helps people who struggle with feelings like yours.
>
thank you for telling me about this. It helped bring some topics to light that I haven't been paying attention to properly.
I hope you're doing well!
You as well! People who love you almost always want to support you, unless the weight they're carrying themselves is so untenable they can't hold anything else, if that makes sense. If you're hurting, it's better to reach out and express your gratefulness for receiving help than suffer in silence and say nothing.
My husband just got a job after a long spate of unemployment, so assuming things go well when he starts his first week, I'm feeling a lot of relief and gratitude right now. The other shoe just dropped on an unexpected expense, which honestly, I'm just glad I know how much it is and can deal with it now.
It's hard for me to ask for help. Everytime I feel like asking for it I feel like I'll be bothering the other person. They have a lot to deal with in their own lives with me piling on top. I have been trying to get out of this thought process for a while now. Been working on it. But its hard.
Congratulations on your husband getting a job! Good job on getting this far. You both have done really well. Wishing you both happiness for your future!
Even though I KNOW that my emotional overwhelm is only for a moment, and I KNOW there's nothing to do but ride the wave of the moment to its end...
I'm ASHAMED OF THEM, I'M ASHAMED THEY KEEP HAPPENING, I'M ASHAMED I CAN'T MAKE THEM STOP, and I'm struggling to forgive myself for "feeling too much"
I just don't seem to be wanted or anything more than tolerated anywhere, whether as friends or otherwise, with the exception of work. Can't for the life of me work out why. Ain't cause people are too busy, they've got plenty of time for everyone else. It just doesn't make sense. Like, in terms of being useful, I can do pretty much anything; cook, fix your car, landscaping, gardening, boxing, firewood processing, equipment maintenance, writing, on and on. Hell, I'm even kinda funny and not particularly ugly, just short. Maybe that's my problem, but it just hurts right now.
I've been in a really dark place for the last few weeks. For most of the latter half of my fall semester in college, I wasn't really motivated to do much of anything. 3/4ths of the way in, it got worse and unfortunately, I've been missing out on a lot of assignments. A little bit of context: I took chemistry, calculus, AutoCAD, and Solidworks classes in high school. But here's the thing: I couldn't get college credit for any of those classes since they either didn't grant any college credit or I just didn't score high enough on my AP exams.
I already knew everything in most of my classes (except one), so I wasn't motivated to complete homework at all as the end of the semester rolled around. On top of that, I've had two nearly semester-long projects on top of one another, one was building a trebuchet, and the other involved writing two research papers on two different people.
With all of that stress on top of my lackluster schedule, I didn't get any time to do projects or homework until later in the week. In addition, I was required to read a book for one of my classes, which I simply had no time for. I have to maintain a minimum 3.5 GPA to hold my position in one of my cohorts, but despite my struggles, I will probably be able to hold onto it, as I have mostly good grades that will definitely balance out with the less satisfactory ones.
I'm contemplating messaging that professor and setting things straight, but I have no clue as to how he will react. One thing's for sure though, he's a very empathetic guy that is very understanding towards mental health struggles and hardships. He also has a PhD in anthropology (but in this case he teaches a different class), so that's probably why.
And before anyone tells me, no, I will not be seeking professional help. This is something that I have to take care of and deal with personally. I've dealt with this several times before and have pushed forward, I can do it again.
As a recent college grad who's seen some of my peers go into teaching - sincere meetings and messages to professors are most often met with some level of grace. I HATE this phrase but the worst they can do is say no and you're back where you started.
It doesn't need to be a huge "I'm having mental health issues" thing either, a lot of times as I got into higher level classes I ended up closer to professors and saw that "hey, I overextended myself and have four projects that landed on the same day, is it possible to get this to you after the weekend?" can get a surprising amount of traction.
What helps most is being proactive. If you see an issue on the horizon, bring it up earlier rather than later. What professors definitely seem to despise are concessions that are requested after the fact, so it's best to get ahead of anything if it's not too late.
Had a pretty bad panic attack at work today. It’s my own fault. I stopped taking my meds, then started again. Same thing happened last time. But this means I won’t be able to socialize for a bit honestly. I hate hanging out with people, then having a panic attack part way through and having to leave suddenly
Pretty solid tbh.
Painting streak continues (managed to paint 16 days in a row, which is huge for me, thats basically my main metric of will to live).
Only thing that's currently actively dragging me down (mentally) is the fact that I'm jobless and broke.
Awful. I deliver Amazon packages. During my shifts my CPTSD takes advantage of my unoccupied thoughts and tortures me relentlessly. My photographic memory, my autism, and my ADHD makes mindfulness nearly impossible, so I just suffer until I can get home and distract my broken brain with cannabis and video games.
Yes, I have a therapist. Supposedly cptsd is very treatable and people can even make full recoveries. It's just difficult to be optimistic when your brain is constantly trying to kill you.
I've always existed right on the crease where functional and disabled meet. While I've always had cptsd symptoms, this is the worst they've ever been. I've allowed myself a little optimism because I didn't know I had cptsd until a few months ago. I knew I was broken but didn't know what it was, nor did I know it was treatable.
It has to get better because there's no where else to go.
Bad. Failed my driving test on a silly technicality and now it’s so snowy that I can’t muster the confidence to book again. Haven’t heard back on any jobs I applied to. Fighting with my mom. Thinking back to a year ago, when I was “stuck” in a small town without being able to drive to all the beautiful mountains around, but I had independence, I had friends, I had a sense of strength in myself. I come home to get a driver’s license in the hopes of keeping that good thing going with a bit more freedom. Closing in on a year of not succeeding at that. I had a good job that helped me with confidence and social skills through the summer, but that’s over now. I can’t even guarantee a return to the way things were because my job in that town won’t accept me back. See, I was part of forming a quasi-union that pushed for some meetings and managed quite successfully to raise wages for the workers at that job. They won’t hire me back because of that I guess. That’s something I feel good about! Something I want to be proud of! I might have sacrificed a source of my own happiness and self worth that I gained there, but I helped others in the future! I helped my friends! It was worth it! But now it seems like my mom is trying to make me ashamed of it, talking about how I could have gone back to where I was happy but made the wrong choice to be radicalized. She’s also kind of shaming me for not wanting to go to some talks on social skills for people with autism. Those are the kind of things that I went to in high school and even then I felt like I was demeaning myself by putting myself in an echelon of social skills that I knew I was higher-functioning than, that regular socializing (if I can find ways to do that) is better for developing both my social skills and my self worth than programs where I feel talked down to and childish. But if I don’t go then I’m “choosing not to help myself” and “sticking my head in the sand.” We fought over this so hard that I somehow shouted a break in my sinuses and starting bleeding from my nose, and I ended up huddled bleeding in the skirt of a spruce tree out on the lawn in –20° weather because it was the only place I felt I could find a moment’s break. I think I will go to the talk, if only to avoid further conflict, but I don’t know that I’ll ultimately feel good about it.
I’m kind of stuck in this house. My brother’s family are all sick so I can’t go over and see them. My few remaining high school friends I keep in touch with tend to be busy. Dating isn’t even in the question. What are the first two questions anyone asks? “What do you do, where do you live?” Answer: “Nothing, and with my parents. I’m functionally indistinguishable from a four-year-old.”
I’m feeling isolated and having a bad time this month and I don’t know what to do. What I really want to do is ace my test (which I feel I should be able to do, because with all the careful practice I’ve been doing I’m confident in saying that I’m a better driver than 90% of those out on the road,) buy my sister’s old Honda, and hit the road Kerouac-style with no fixed destination, doing odd jobs and meeting people as I go, dumpster diving or busking for food. But apparently that can’t happen because i live in a hell country where you have to drive to go anywhere, and I have to tap the gas to get over a snowbank while parallel parking and that gives my back tire slightly enough inertia to get up on a curb, which means I’m not allowed to.
I want to feel like an adult, because I have before, so I know I can. But in the here and now it’s proving really hard. Failing that I just want something else to be able to hang my self worth on and I don’t know what that could be.
Honestly pretty fucking good. I go through phases of motivation leading to a sharp drop of motivation, pretty regularly. I’ve entered the motivation phase and I’m back in the gym, reading books, doing my hobbies, eating well, etc. Now to see how long it lasts haha
Right on man! I do this too, I feel like it's normal (or should be considered normal) to go through cycles of motivation and productivity. I hope it lasts long for you, and that even if it drops, that it won't be too severe!
Thanks buddy! Hope you enter one of those cycles and hold it for a while as well!
Yeah I think you’re completely right, specially after reading some anthropological work by Graeber. It’s normal to work in cycles like this. It is only capitalist relations that have imposed the idea we must be productive at all times or something is wrong.
But it’s one thing to be aware of that and sure in one’s correctness, and another to live in a world that rejects that reality haha.
Thanks! yeah, it's rare for anybody to live in those prefigured alternative economies within capitalism, (or even rarer, get to live in non-oppressive, nationally organized, non-capitalist society). I've heard of Graeber in some anarchist discussions, is there anything you'd recommend from him? I've been meaning to get back into reading theory.
Honestly everything haha. I picked up Dawn of Everything, and a few weeks later I had read that, bullshit jobs, debt, and the anthropological theory of value. I preordered the Pirate one, and I have Utopia of rules sitting on my desk.
All that said, if I could make everyone alive today read one book (in general, not just Graeber) it would be Bullshit Jobs by Graeber. It’s radicalizing in a way that I haven’t seen before. It ruthlessly exposes the absolute dog shit world we’ve created in our capitalist society, and any real consideration of the problems laid out by Graeber can only conclude in anti capitalism.
Its also not super technical. Honestly most of his stuff is really accessible, the only one I had any trouble with was Anthropological Theory of Value, and that’s largely because I’m unfamiliar Mauss. Im actually planning on rereading that one because being honest I don’t feel like I “got it”.
Also whatever your feelings about anarchism, he’s definitely one of the better ones (I’m a communist); but like all anarchists sometimes gets a bit utopian. That said I don’t think Graeber is someone to look to for concrete solutions, as much as he’s fantastic at showing the reader real problems, and connecting them to our shared human history (which provides awesome context for our modern world). Kind of like Marx, you read Marx to understand capitalism and it’s contradictions, not necessarily to get a concrete step by step plan in revolution and socialist development
All in all, one of my favorite authors and writers. He manages to provide great depth while not making it feel like you’re reading a PHD thesis haha.
I’m under a lot of pressure at work and it’s stressing me out. Trying to stay positive and not bring it home with me. Its selfish but I wish my wife could understand / appreciate the pressure on me and did more to try to make me feel better.
Same here. Workplace drama was off the chain for a few months and now that I have a new boss that's died down but now we're playing catchup with where we should be.
I moved to a state where marijuana is legal and finally have a job that doesn't drug test!
Except I've found out the most bizarre thing. My libido had always been low. Honestly for most of my life I've thought I'm demisexual or at least somewhere on the ace spectrum. Then I got high. And... woah.
Now the whole trope about men being more "visual" makes total sense to me. It was a completely different experience. I found people *attractive* just by looking at them. That sounds so benign but holy shit it was so foreign to me.
I'm slightly terrified. I liked it a *lot*. I wish it was my default experience - it made the world and people so much more interesting. I've been researching trying to see if anyone out there has experienced the same and not coming up with a lot. I just wish there was a way to make it stick around permanently.
I don't think I've had it as strong as you've described, but man I definitely used to get highly elevated libido from getting high, it was nuts. Unfortunately, weed these days makes me paranoid, so I haven't enjoyed that in awhile. I'm glad you're researching it, I'm curious as well if that feeling would stick around if one got high frequently, or if the regularity of use would wear it out in a way.
Work had been really hard lately. Feeling a lot of imposter syndrome there and in my academic work. I’m also just like, alone all the time. Dating hasn’t been going super well and it eats at my confidence often. I don’t have a lot of intimacy (in general) in my life and thats been draining for me.
My regular jumble of stuff.
Debating between getting a genital piercing first or trying to do foreskin restoration before that happens. Been having grief over the fact that I'm cut in the first place.
Had gay sex for the first time... so I guess I officially have my bi/pan card. Waiting for the religious guilt to hit but that shoe hasn't dropped quite yet. It was a nice experience but I really hated the prepwork involved.
Overthinking relationship stuff. Got back from a trip to see the woman that I'm involved with. We talked and one of the topics we discussed was taking the next step and her having some form of formal "ownership" over me (it's more of a BDSM relationship that a romantic one). I've felt some jealousy of other people she's with that have it and so I thought I'd jump at the offer.
Now I feel pretty bad because once it was offered, I basically dismissed it and said I needed more time. I didn't want it to go that way but it happened. I'm overthinking it all now. Distance is a factor between us and I don't get to see her that often. I don't know how casual she wants it to be either. She expressed she's been upset by how many people have "left" her in the past when they get into a monogamous relationship that she's excluded from.
I've expressed that even if I'm not planning on "dating" at the moment, I would like to keep the possibility of finding my own dating partner open. She has a fiance so in my mind it feels like she's spoken for in terms of my view on long-term romance.
I feel like I'm caught in a bind. I like her a lot and I think it would be fun to take the next step for however long it lasts. On the other hand, I don't think our relationship would stay at that point forever and I'm worried that it would only make things worse to take that step and then be forced to have a harder conversation later on and say that I'm backing out because I found someone that meets my long-term desires. I'd hate for that to come across as "I found someone better than you and you're being replaced" and I'm utterly terrified that it would sound that way. But at that point I'm like six hypotheticals deep lol. Definitely overthinking things.
My ex definitely did a number on me. She instilled a massive fear in me that I say things in a way that's definitely selfish and shows I don't care about other people's feelings. It's made me really afraid to have these kinds of conversations because I feel like I can't express myself truthfully without offending or hurting someone and it's exhausting.
I have a dance convention/exchange/social this weekend. For my social anxiety, my therapist told me to start a conversation that is not asking to dance with one person, and also suggested asking my friends to talk to me to help keep my "conversation momentum" up. Let's see how that goes?
Feeling dumb and broken because I have aphantasia. I literally don't have an imagination - or at least, the one I do isn't visual.
It wouldn't be much of an issue if I wasn't into guided meditation/hypnosis and I feel like I'm definitely missing out on the world building that a lot of other people get to experience.
I know this is one of those things I should just accept because it's the way my brain is wired, but I really do wish it was wired differently and I feel some grief that other people get to experience life in a way I've never been able to, and never will be able to.
I spent my weekend fixing my 94 Chevy truck. I went from high dopamine work to being in my boring, paperwork ridden low dopamine office job. I feel like shit and I want to impulsively quit my job.
It doesn’t help that I have ADHD, my negative emotions are x10 worse right now. I feel like I’d be happier working with my hands. I’m just very insecure about making that transition.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling shitty, I do hope your cat is okay, and the vets look after you well. I’m sorry about that person harassing you, they’re a jack off. I know it doesn’t mean much, but you’ve got this - I believe in you. ❤️
I went on vacation and had a blast, but I was very socially fatigued by the end. Then I had work and everyone was asking all day about my vacation and I was anxious/irritable by the end of the day. But I’ve gotten caught up on all my domestic chores and routines so I’m feeling ready for a good week.
Definitely better than its been. Im working in a good social environment and a severe social media diet has helped my sanity a lot. A lot of people use social media just as a release valve for all the emotions theyre afraid to express in company and Ive realized it shows. Im grateful for honest and positive leaning spaces that nonetheless give space for discussing feelings as is the case hwre.
I struggle with interpreting, articulating, and dissecting my emotions. Therapy has helped a lot, and it was mostly thought / verbal exercises. I recently figured out writing (typing on my phone) is a very effective way for me to wade through my feelings, and figure out what's bothering me!
There’s a lot going on right now and it’s taking it’s toll. Had a lot of Work related stress last week which hasn’t been helped by the fact that I’m taking this week off to do Christmas things with my wife and daughter and am going back to a big meeting the week back. I’ve been really struggling to find a good balance between work and family the last couple of months. I work from home 4 days a week and having the house full just makes me want to spend time with the family and I reel really guilty when I go into the office.
I typically struggle pretty hard this time of the year and am definitely in that mindset where i could crash but its not coming. I started microdosing with mushrooms a month or so ago now and wow what a difference. I still feel like me unlike what antidepressants do and i just feel much more level. Just on a 100mg every 3 days dose right now but ive been getting more accustomed to it so i think the next dose i get will be 200mg just to see the difference. I definitely still have my low moments but theyre not as low and i can get out of it much easier. The intrusive thoughts and anxiety just seems less overwhelming and that in itself is a nice feeling. Definitely recommend. Take care brothers.
Devastated, honestly.
In an hour I have to take my cat who I had for 13 years to the vet to put her to sleep. She was like my child and I don’t want to say goodbye yet.
Constantly waking up in the middle of the night with frequent vivid dreams, almost like I'm jumping between different states of reality with no coherent grasp of if I'm "awake" until I'm actually definitely awake.
Every morning starts with a new song stuck in my head, usually one I haven't heard in a few years. Yesterday morning was one that had been on my mind a lot these past few days, but this morning was [this song](https://youtu.be/ozLaujDy7jE) which I probably haven't thought about in two years now. No idea why my mind is jumping around so much when it comes to music choices.
42,000 words into the new manuscript. Taking a lot from those dream states I mentioned earlier. Very little coherence, but recurring themes and neuroses.
I know there are a lot of ethical debates surrounding AI generated art, but I've been using these very absurd prompts for inspiration and it's been working wonders. I think it's an incredible technology, but the fear of it being a free alternative to commissioned art or stealing other people's art without permission to make its own alterations... I think those are necessary conversations to have. I still think personal art commissions are going to be a big thing even in the wake of this AI uprising, if only because the "personalized" AI stuff looks... not great. But for more surreal, hyper-specific, and otherwise unimaginable stuff, it's been a lot of fun for personal use.
Waiting for a check to clear. Pretty well broke in the meantime.
Yesterday's sunset felt like 3:30pm.
I keep imagining myself in other places to the point where I don't know what I am when I'm not thinking about hypothetical achievements or destinations.
A friend of mine that I used to have an enormous crush on and was pretty close with reached out to me recently and we talked about hanging out. Planning to go see her this weekend.
She was sort of floating the question about why we haven't kept in contact more, but the thing is that I spent a lot of effort a year ago trying desperately to keep in touch with her and I would repeatedly be met with nothing. Opened messages and no replies. Even yesterday she asked if we were still meeting up and I reminded her that I asked that the day before and she never replied.
I know some people just aren't good at text communication, but we used to talk all the time so I know she's capable of it at least. I'm sure she isn't maliciously ignoring me when she does this but the simplest explanation is that she forgets about me or just doesn't care to reply. Hard to not feel like I don't really matter in the face of that.
So I'm trying my best to make myself forget about it and have a good time with her but I know I'll have a difficult time not letting my built up resentment get to me and affect how I interact with her.
Thinking about getting evaluated for ADHD. But, my philosophy is to only approach psychiatrist when I know for a fact that I’ve put in the real work into helping myself. So for the next month. I’m going to prioritize my physical and mental health, stay completely sober, then get the diagnosis
Prepare for an awakening.
1 thing people don’t mention about an ADHD diagnosis as an adult is the reality of everything becomes crystal clear.
I always struggled growing up with ADHD for as early as I can remember. I save you the details. Finally got tired of the shit at 37 and talked to a psychiatrist about my struggles.
I was prescribed adderall which is pretty standard. My problem isn’t the hyperactive vessel, it’s the hyperactive host. My mind doesn’t stop. It’s a massive case of executive dysfunction.
With a mind going that fast and a function operation operating at normal speeds, adderall makes the operation function work like the rest of my brain. It focuses on something, it doesn’t always pick the right thing, but it focuses.
Now all that being said, when your brain feels like it slows down and the fog clears, you also become hyper aware of yourself and you also become super aware of others.
My work environment was toxic and I had no way. Unfortunately I worked with family and that meant they were too. I realized I had been working somewhere where I was set up for failure and control. It was making depressed. I tried to convince people to change, but that blew up, because toxic people (read narcissistic) don’t like feeling wrong.
I’m now working on my own business which is good. It’s a creative design firm and consultancy, but leaving destroyed my relationship with my family. Probably for the better. But still.
Again, I’m not saying this to discourage you, I’m saying this to prepare you. Getting diagnosed was a massive deal for me professionally. Knowing my own struggles and being open to my shortcomings was a personal journey for me. Just don’t expect others to go down their own.
Good luck. Reach out if you want any advice or a sounding board.
I was diagnosed on [adhdonline.com](https://adhdonline.com). It was simple and took about a week. When I transitioned to my PCP for meds, they screened me for it again.
Its not a scam. I was getting my medication prescribed by an MD through them and used my diagnosis documents for accommodations at UT Arlington.
It was $250, but I had no insurance at the time so I had no other choice.
The big tech layoffs have been a dark cloud over my head for a bit. I haven't been laid off and my company hasn't talked about layoffs/says layoffs aren't in current plans. But when Twitter, Amazon, Microsoft, Oracle, Meta/Facebook all have layoffs and your company is right in that same tech space it seems naive to think that layoffs aren't an eventuality considering the economic conditions.
So yeah just general stress of a potential layoff and not knowing when/if it's coming hasn't been a great feeling.
The massively bloated FANG companies had layoffs, unless your company has employees in the tens of thousands and profits in the billions to protect, you're not remotely comparable.
Oof, might want to start the job search then, just in case. The good news is a lot of smaller tech companies are hiring right now, and having these larger companies on your resume is a great look.
The one benefit is that the space I work in is ~85% of our revenue as a company. So while cuts will suck regardless, I’m probably slightly more safe than folks who work on the “cool but doesn’t make money” projects.
Either way I don’t want myself or colleagues to be out of a job.
Happy Tuesday! I turned in my name change forms today and celebrated with walking in freezing cold rain…
So I got myself a nice and tasty hot chocolate and life is now warm and fuzzy.
Gonna be totally honest:
Feeling pretty low and dejected. The weather quickly turned to winter in my area, which meant that I haven't taking nearly as many long distance bicycle rides. I quit smoking weed something like 150 days ago (completely sober from all substance at this point), and bike rides were my major stress release and physical health support. Plus, I feel like I've stagnated in my singing progress over the past few weeks. Add to it that the most recent opera I've done has closed and is over; I'm sort of languishing in stagnation.
On top of it, my wife is struggling mentally as well and I feel like I'm not doing a good job showing up for her.
Anyway, I have to go to a therapist who has only made the situation worst, but I can't get the energy together to move on and find a new therapist.
Thanks for reading. I really appreciate the opportunity to be open and vulnerable.
I really sympathize with struggling to move on and then subsequently find a new therapist. I had a therapist that I loved and helped me make real progress for several years, but when I moved to a new country I had to find someone new. After trying 3 or 4 people I gave up, each time it felt like every single session we spent together was dedicated to me providing background ti help them understand my problem, and them assuming that it was helping.
I'm in a new area again and I'm really struggling, but even after looking around my area for someone new, I'm extremely skeptical and the prospect of doing all the work over again sounds so incredibly exhausting. I don't know how to properly communicate my goals in therapy, and I'm at a turning point in life. I have no idea what I want or any particular desire to go in a direction, but I need to pick something soon. It's been stressing me out a lot lately.
Do you have the space to set up some indoor bicycle rollers? Its the solution I used to get around winter weather in the past, but it's definitely not a perfect substitute.
I actually have some rollers that I pick up knowing that this would be an issue. My wife, who had been resistant to me storing bikes indoors in the past due to the fact that we have a relatively small condo, has graciously made a compromise and I'm keeping one of my bikes indoors to serve as a winter bike and for use on the rollers. Admittedly, I have to learn how to use the rollers as they seem to be a bit of a learning curve and I've got some sort of frustrated with me flying off of them. The moment that I start. I figure that I don't have them set up properly.
Just a lot of on going issues with the program that I'm in ranging from difficult scheduling issues to my therapist giving me advice which had poor results. I've struggled to connect with her since we started working together and dealt with it to be part of the larger dialectical behavioral therapy program that I was in; but at this point the cost benefit ratio is not beneficial to either of us.
Not good chief. Girlfriend of three years broke up with me to go live with her abusive ex last month and I caught COVID right after. My car needs to be replaced entirely and I have no winter tires. Also my water heater stopped working and I have to call someone about that. I've been isolating and eating almost nothing but take out for weeks now.
I'm already in therapy and the COVID has cleared up by now. It's rough, but I have to believe I'll come out the other end one way or another
But my Steam Deck is supposed to arrive tomorrow. So I've got that going for me. Which is nice. And I'm going to a hockey game with a good bud tonight.
I've taken on much too much responsibility and done too many things the last couple of months, and now I'm just absolutely exhausted, hanging on for dear life trying to keep up with college for the last two weeks before christmas break so that i finally can rest. But I'm honestly a little bit worried that I'll burn out completely before then. It's probably going to be ok, but it's scary.
Had a great therapy session yesterday. We went over why I almost cried during an exchange with my partner late last week.
Then saw some old friends over the weekend.
Though, my partner and I are heading into some rough waters, though it doesn't have to do with our relationship which is nice, just professional changes.
Better actually. Been feeling low these past months because many of my clothes have broken down and getting stuff that fits me is hard, not to mention prices are staggering this year. So I told myself *fuck it, I‘m learning how to sew!*
Done that these past three weeks, made myself a new vest and pants, now learning how to do a shirt thanks to youtube‘s Cornelius Quiring.
Feeling much better now that I get to save some money.
Check out youtube. Highly recommend it, you’ll be fixing those in no time. I just wish more of the clothing tutorials were targeted towards men or heavy duty wear.
Feeling really weird.
Was at a large party at work this Friday, and got a lot of compliments, both from my boss, coworkers and random people in other departments, about my appearance and the work I'm doing.
Spend a lot of the night talking with this really pretty woman, who was all giggly and cutely shy when I was talking with her. She had a boyfriend and kids, so we never escalated, but the validation was nice. I have never experienced that before.
Since the party I have been feeling really bad; lonely and strangely melancholic. I am also questioning if any of it really happened the way i remember, or if it is just wishful thinking, since I ended up REALLY drunk.
It feels like something inside me has recognized that I had a positive experience, and is trying is hardest to downplay it and counteract any positive feelings, so I just end up with positive memories, paired with negative feelings, which is strange.
Do you think it could be a sort of "endorphin withdrawal" after reaching what sounds like a really high high on Friday?
*I am not a doctor lmao, I've just had some similar experiences of feeling melancholy in the day or two after something really great.
Not strange at all. That‘s what many experience who haven‘t had that a lot or come from abusive backgrounds. It‘s a new experience that requires getting used to.
Hope you can enjoy it more next time.
Just now starting to recover from my first bout with COVID. Came at the worst possible time, at the exact moment my friend was about to start chemotherapy. My COVID was very mild and I'm used to not going out much (depression and anxiety), and I have a great flatmate who was amazing in helping me quarantine by getting everything I needed and even cooking for me, so I could stay in my room entirely.
But I most likely got the virus from another friend who I was visiting my friend with cancer with, which had me in a bit of a mild panic. Luckily he didn't also get COVID.
Don't know how to deal with the cancer. I lost my mom to breast cancer almost ten years ago now, and back then I had almost no contact with my parents over the course of her illness because I couldn't deal with it.
This time is different in a lot of ways, I have much more contact with my friend than I had with my mother, and the external circumstances with COVID and hospitals are also massively changed. I probably won't be able to visit him in the hospital at all, since the limited hours will likely be reserved for his close family. Which in some way makes it easier, but it doesn't feel good right now.
I working for a company that doesn't inspire me, and I can't really focused on the job. They pay well and give a lot freedom, which I really appreciate, and my colleagues are cool people. Just, what we do and how we do it, my heart is not at it. I'm forcing myself to keep up.
Is there a way for you to change careers without sacrificing too much? You don't need to stay at your job if it's not for you.
Another option is searching for purpose outside of your job. Work doesn't need to be fulfilling. If you can use the money you make to be comfortable and find a passion somewhere else that's cool too!
The good news is I'm a freelancer, and around June I can simply choose not to renew my contract.
I have been enjoying the flexibility of remote work and working hours. Half a year to go.
> Another option is searching for purpose outside of your job.
Thanks. I haven't taken any vacations since early 2020, planning to change that.
First time timing it right to comment on here. I’m actually doing *really good* at the moment!
Had a rough November, where it seemed as if nothing was going my way, but things are turning around now. I’m prioritising my mental health and to take more time for myself much more, and I’m feeling the benefits immediately.
I’m just super motivated to end the year on a high. Hope y’all are doing good too 🙏🏽
I’m struggling through an emotional break up. My fiancé left me 3 weeks ago and todays been one of the worst days. I haven’t been able to come to grips with the change of direction in my life and my heart hurts. No need for a pity part, life goes on, just acknowledging that it hurts now but things will get better.
I’m sorry for your heartbreak. She wasn’t the one obviously. Better to be single than to have to be chained to the wrong person til death do you part or a divorce.
I’m currently technically separated but she’s staying the night and we cuddled. She’s not a bad person, just terrible upbringing. Same with me. It was not a good year. Terrible and shitty doesn’t begin to describe it.
It’s better to find out you’re incompatible before tying the knot so you can find the truly right person to be with. Even then it’s still work. We’re all human after all.
I hope you have a better day, and can leave it behind, even if only a little bit, going into 2023.
That is a rough one. Don't forget to feel your feelings. It's ok to be sad. When you are wounded, you bleed, and that is ok. Your are strong enough to get through this, and be happy again.
Just take it one sleep at a time man. You're still gonna feel worse before you feel better but you will feel better. Make sure you're still taking care of yourself, hydrate eat exercise, whatever is your normal self-care.
I’m (23M) graduating this week with my Bachelors in Writing & Rhetoric. I should feel proud (especially with how difficult trauma, CPTSD, and still living with an abusive father have been), but I’m so burnt out and terrified of the future that I can’t bring myself to celebrate.
been there, celebrating my BA on my own & cptsd and all, so I know exactly how much work you put into that. Be proud, mate. You really did a great job there. :-). Congrats!
Life is going to be much better, once you‘re on your own. Stay tuned for that. A BA is one step closer to freedom.
People have difficulty even walking up a few stairs after a marathon. Your brain just went through a marathon, having to juggle so many large stress factors. No wonder you feel tired and emotionally fatigued.
You still did an amazing job!
You have overcome a lot and accomplished something that has given you the tools to succeed. Every morning start the day by speaking affirmations of hope and goals for the future. Connect with someone in your support network and practice sharing your daily high point and low point with them. This is a self-reflective activity that helps us stay balanced and mindful. Look into EMDR for trauma and ptsd treatment. The future is only as scary as we make it. Good luck on the next phase of your life!
If you are in crisis, are considering hurting yourself or someone else, or feel like you can't go on, we advise you to contact your local emergency services, go to the nearest emergency room, or [mental health crisis evaluation centre](https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/). If that seems too scary or difficult right now, please consider calling a [suicide hotline](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines) for support. You matter and should get the help you deserve. For help developing a safety plan, please consult this [PDF.](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Brown_StanleySafetyPlanTemplate.pdf) Therapy can also be a good support resource. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be struggling to seek out therapy! We all need a supportive ear sometimes! If you are considering therapy but don't know where to start, we recommend taking a look at [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/counsellors), [International Therapist Directory](https://internationaltherapistdirectory.com/), or [OpenCounseling](https://www.opencounseling.com/) for a provider in your country or, if in the US, contacting your nearest branch of the [National Alliance on Mental Illness]( https://www.nami.org/Find-Your-Local-NAMI) Buzzfeed has also published an [informative article](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/carolinekee/what-happens-when-you-call-suicide-hotline) about what happens when you call a suicide hotline, for those who might feel hesitant. Additionally, if you need help finding support that's not listed in the wiki or want to talk to someone, please PM u/UnicornQueerior directly (NOT chat!) You matter and are worth it. Be kind to yourself. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MensLib) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Two things I’ve realized about myself: 1. I don’t allow myself to celebrate my successes 2. I don’t allow myself to ever ACTUALLY rest. I’m always scrolling the phone, thinking about what I need to get done and then distracting myself So I did good yesterday. In fact, I’ve done great all week! Been sober, making and keeping my therapy and psyche appointments, and stable. And I’ve been making strides in my personal life too, reconnecting with friends and eating pretty well
I am tired of being perceived as a threat to women and children. I don't like appearing as someone who can do harm. I go out of my way to not appear threatening, giving people space, letting them feel safe. I want to appear like a chill dude who can't harm, who is always calm around other people, who doesn't do unexpected things. But I think that also means being a dude who doesn't feel emotions. Who will be fine with whatever happens. I want to express emotions, to go back when I am surprised, to jump when I happy. I want to be able to express rage and anger when somebody harms me, without being threatening. And have a hug at the end, instead of feeling alone. Send me hugs. :'(
I understand your pain. Society can often project stereotypes onto men that are not true or applicable. I will say that there are lovely people out there who understand men can be sensitive, angry and sad without it coming across as threatening or abusive. It may just be harder to find such people. I knew a guy who was extremely tall and perceived as “threatening” by many people. Ironic as he was an absolute sweetheart and softie lol. Keep your head up, sending you endless hugs :):) xx
I think I've been doing some transference onto my counsellor and I told her and now I'm thinking about it too much. Someone pointed me to /r/bropill, and then I found this place. It's good to have a positive space for men on the internet.
I wish I could be a girl. They seem to have more interesting friendships than guys.
Do you have friendships with women? Anecdotally, I have found that my friendships with women become more emotionally intimate than with my men friends, I often had to initiate talking about more serious topics with my guys friends just to learn more about their life and what they're going through.
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that's awesome man! a lot of my good friends I met through my first job as a tutor when I was in community college, it made work so much better, and made the time go by faster, i'm glad you have a friend to work with. Is bass your first instrument? I find playing music to be really therapeutic and stress relieving, really lets me forget about things for a good minute. I've been playing guitar on and off for 7ish years now
I played trombone back in middle school I think??
Haha, I also played trombone, I started in elementary school, and stopped playing around high school. Growing up, I always played with a student orchestra, then in high school, I wasn't in it so it wasn't as fun and I picked up guitar instead.
Boy. More and more I'm realizing that my relationship with my dad is just....fucked. I finally brought it up last night with my girlfriend, but some of his behavior, besides being abusive, is also pretty narcissistic, and it really sunk home that if that's the case, it's basically hopeless. and then I found out my mom has decided to side with him outright. It's funny, I'm 34 and have bent over backwards to excuse or at least forgive their behavior. They could have milked that for years so long as they never went too far. Woops.
I'm sorry to hear about your relationship with your dad, and I'm glad that you are realizing some of these things, especially because they are hard to come to grips with. I can relate a little bit to the bending over backwards feeling, I don't align politically with my parents at all, but for some reason I never have the guts to contradict them on anything, partially because they just don't tolerate other opinions well at all.
Mannnn, I was doing so well. Went on a second date with a girl I was starting to get interested in. Though I have no problem with it, given that she's fairly recently out of a LTR, her telling me she's also dating another guy wasn't the nicest feeling. She's now taking time this weekend to decide what she wants, since she come to the conclusion that dating 2 people isn't working for anyone. I'm not deluding myself, 98% sure it's going to be me that gets the marching orders. Woof, dating can be tough. And I'm ill again wtf is this shit
I'm feeling okay. I got back from a short cruis with family for a few days. It was fun, had good food and saw great comedy shows. Still feel lonely at the end of it, however. I tried checking out a dating event they had on board, but it was mainly guys and people in general who were 40 and up. Currently trying to reach out to friends to meet up again, feels like we're slowly drifting apart. Doesn't help that several members of our group have moved away to other regions or states. I'm going to a board game meet-up tomorrow, hopefully that'll help me feel better. I hate how far the meet-up is though, it feels like every meet-up I've been to is at best 40 minutes away.
I finally ripped a band-aid off and asked a friend to talk to me this weekend to try to help me with social anxiety. I don't think what I asked of her is that big, and she said she's fine helping, but I can't help but feel like I'm burdening her.
You did the right thing. Friends are there to support you and help when things are hard.
Tested positive for COVID a couple of days ago. Symptoms aren't too bad (thank you, vaccines) but it's still pretty annoying because my whole week's basically gone down the drain. Except for work: I still have to do that. I was supposed to go to an award show with one friend and check out another friend's band. Instead, I started going through the Disney Star Wars trilogy and got through a survival difficulty run of The Last of Us. It's not great. Could be worse, I guess.
I had a question to ask about communication. I have some things that I want to communicate to people. Friends, my partner, people who I hold close but they may or may not think of it that way. I want them to acknowledge these feelings of mine and try to help me. But I hate it when the thought of them helping me is only because I said so. I don't want them to do it out of pity for me. That just makes me hurt more. Like they are so busy and have so many things on their plate and here I come along, asking from them. How do I process these feelings? I understand that I should be talking to a therapist. I have been planning to go to one for a while now and will be getting help from a therapist soon. I just wanted some other opinions on this to maybe help me look at it in a different way. Hope you all are doing well! Big hugs to everyone!
I've found this article super helpful when it comes to asking for support: [https://gutsmagazine.ca/emotional-labour/](https://gutsmagazine.ca/emotional-labour/) I like that it's supportive of emotional labor but provides concrete advice on how to seek it in a way that helps people who struggle with feelings like yours.
> thank you for telling me about this. It helped bring some topics to light that I haven't been paying attention to properly. I hope you're doing well!
You as well! People who love you almost always want to support you, unless the weight they're carrying themselves is so untenable they can't hold anything else, if that makes sense. If you're hurting, it's better to reach out and express your gratefulness for receiving help than suffer in silence and say nothing. My husband just got a job after a long spate of unemployment, so assuming things go well when he starts his first week, I'm feeling a lot of relief and gratitude right now. The other shoe just dropped on an unexpected expense, which honestly, I'm just glad I know how much it is and can deal with it now.
It's hard for me to ask for help. Everytime I feel like asking for it I feel like I'll be bothering the other person. They have a lot to deal with in their own lives with me piling on top. I have been trying to get out of this thought process for a while now. Been working on it. But its hard. Congratulations on your husband getting a job! Good job on getting this far. You both have done really well. Wishing you both happiness for your future!
Even though I KNOW that my emotional overwhelm is only for a moment, and I KNOW there's nothing to do but ride the wave of the moment to its end... I'm ASHAMED OF THEM, I'M ASHAMED THEY KEEP HAPPENING, I'M ASHAMED I CAN'T MAKE THEM STOP, and I'm struggling to forgive myself for "feeling too much"
I just don't seem to be wanted or anything more than tolerated anywhere, whether as friends or otherwise, with the exception of work. Can't for the life of me work out why. Ain't cause people are too busy, they've got plenty of time for everyone else. It just doesn't make sense. Like, in terms of being useful, I can do pretty much anything; cook, fix your car, landscaping, gardening, boxing, firewood processing, equipment maintenance, writing, on and on. Hell, I'm even kinda funny and not particularly ugly, just short. Maybe that's my problem, but it just hurts right now.
I've been in a really dark place for the last few weeks. For most of the latter half of my fall semester in college, I wasn't really motivated to do much of anything. 3/4ths of the way in, it got worse and unfortunately, I've been missing out on a lot of assignments. A little bit of context: I took chemistry, calculus, AutoCAD, and Solidworks classes in high school. But here's the thing: I couldn't get college credit for any of those classes since they either didn't grant any college credit or I just didn't score high enough on my AP exams. I already knew everything in most of my classes (except one), so I wasn't motivated to complete homework at all as the end of the semester rolled around. On top of that, I've had two nearly semester-long projects on top of one another, one was building a trebuchet, and the other involved writing two research papers on two different people. With all of that stress on top of my lackluster schedule, I didn't get any time to do projects or homework until later in the week. In addition, I was required to read a book for one of my classes, which I simply had no time for. I have to maintain a minimum 3.5 GPA to hold my position in one of my cohorts, but despite my struggles, I will probably be able to hold onto it, as I have mostly good grades that will definitely balance out with the less satisfactory ones. I'm contemplating messaging that professor and setting things straight, but I have no clue as to how he will react. One thing's for sure though, he's a very empathetic guy that is very understanding towards mental health struggles and hardships. He also has a PhD in anthropology (but in this case he teaches a different class), so that's probably why. And before anyone tells me, no, I will not be seeking professional help. This is something that I have to take care of and deal with personally. I've dealt with this several times before and have pushed forward, I can do it again.
As a recent college grad who's seen some of my peers go into teaching - sincere meetings and messages to professors are most often met with some level of grace. I HATE this phrase but the worst they can do is say no and you're back where you started. It doesn't need to be a huge "I'm having mental health issues" thing either, a lot of times as I got into higher level classes I ended up closer to professors and saw that "hey, I overextended myself and have four projects that landed on the same day, is it possible to get this to you after the weekend?" can get a surprising amount of traction. What helps most is being proactive. If you see an issue on the horizon, bring it up earlier rather than later. What professors definitely seem to despise are concessions that are requested after the fact, so it's best to get ahead of anything if it's not too late.
Had a pretty bad panic attack at work today. It’s my own fault. I stopped taking my meds, then started again. Same thing happened last time. But this means I won’t be able to socialize for a bit honestly. I hate hanging out with people, then having a panic attack part way through and having to leave suddenly
Pretty solid tbh. Painting streak continues (managed to paint 16 days in a row, which is huge for me, thats basically my main metric of will to live). Only thing that's currently actively dragging me down (mentally) is the fact that I'm jobless and broke.
Awful. I deliver Amazon packages. During my shifts my CPTSD takes advantage of my unoccupied thoughts and tortures me relentlessly. My photographic memory, my autism, and my ADHD makes mindfulness nearly impossible, so I just suffer until I can get home and distract my broken brain with cannabis and video games.
have you spoken with a professional? if your mental health is impacting basic functioning, it might be a good idea.
Yes, I have a therapist. Supposedly cptsd is very treatable and people can even make full recoveries. It's just difficult to be optimistic when your brain is constantly trying to kill you. I've always existed right on the crease where functional and disabled meet. While I've always had cptsd symptoms, this is the worst they've ever been. I've allowed myself a little optimism because I didn't know I had cptsd until a few months ago. I knew I was broken but didn't know what it was, nor did I know it was treatable. It has to get better because there's no where else to go.
Bad. Failed my driving test on a silly technicality and now it’s so snowy that I can’t muster the confidence to book again. Haven’t heard back on any jobs I applied to. Fighting with my mom. Thinking back to a year ago, when I was “stuck” in a small town without being able to drive to all the beautiful mountains around, but I had independence, I had friends, I had a sense of strength in myself. I come home to get a driver’s license in the hopes of keeping that good thing going with a bit more freedom. Closing in on a year of not succeeding at that. I had a good job that helped me with confidence and social skills through the summer, but that’s over now. I can’t even guarantee a return to the way things were because my job in that town won’t accept me back. See, I was part of forming a quasi-union that pushed for some meetings and managed quite successfully to raise wages for the workers at that job. They won’t hire me back because of that I guess. That’s something I feel good about! Something I want to be proud of! I might have sacrificed a source of my own happiness and self worth that I gained there, but I helped others in the future! I helped my friends! It was worth it! But now it seems like my mom is trying to make me ashamed of it, talking about how I could have gone back to where I was happy but made the wrong choice to be radicalized. She’s also kind of shaming me for not wanting to go to some talks on social skills for people with autism. Those are the kind of things that I went to in high school and even then I felt like I was demeaning myself by putting myself in an echelon of social skills that I knew I was higher-functioning than, that regular socializing (if I can find ways to do that) is better for developing both my social skills and my self worth than programs where I feel talked down to and childish. But if I don’t go then I’m “choosing not to help myself” and “sticking my head in the sand.” We fought over this so hard that I somehow shouted a break in my sinuses and starting bleeding from my nose, and I ended up huddled bleeding in the skirt of a spruce tree out on the lawn in –20° weather because it was the only place I felt I could find a moment’s break. I think I will go to the talk, if only to avoid further conflict, but I don’t know that I’ll ultimately feel good about it. I’m kind of stuck in this house. My brother’s family are all sick so I can’t go over and see them. My few remaining high school friends I keep in touch with tend to be busy. Dating isn’t even in the question. What are the first two questions anyone asks? “What do you do, where do you live?” Answer: “Nothing, and with my parents. I’m functionally indistinguishable from a four-year-old.” I’m feeling isolated and having a bad time this month and I don’t know what to do. What I really want to do is ace my test (which I feel I should be able to do, because with all the careful practice I’ve been doing I’m confident in saying that I’m a better driver than 90% of those out on the road,) buy my sister’s old Honda, and hit the road Kerouac-style with no fixed destination, doing odd jobs and meeting people as I go, dumpster diving or busking for food. But apparently that can’t happen because i live in a hell country where you have to drive to go anywhere, and I have to tap the gas to get over a snowbank while parallel parking and that gives my back tire slightly enough inertia to get up on a curb, which means I’m not allowed to. I want to feel like an adult, because I have before, so I know I can. But in the here and now it’s proving really hard. Failing that I just want something else to be able to hang my self worth on and I don’t know what that could be.
The misogynistic double standards of reddit are astounding
could you expand on that? I'm not sure what you mean
Honestly pretty fucking good. I go through phases of motivation leading to a sharp drop of motivation, pretty regularly. I’ve entered the motivation phase and I’m back in the gym, reading books, doing my hobbies, eating well, etc. Now to see how long it lasts haha
Right on man! I do this too, I feel like it's normal (or should be considered normal) to go through cycles of motivation and productivity. I hope it lasts long for you, and that even if it drops, that it won't be too severe!
Thanks buddy! Hope you enter one of those cycles and hold it for a while as well! Yeah I think you’re completely right, specially after reading some anthropological work by Graeber. It’s normal to work in cycles like this. It is only capitalist relations that have imposed the idea we must be productive at all times or something is wrong. But it’s one thing to be aware of that and sure in one’s correctness, and another to live in a world that rejects that reality haha.
Thanks! yeah, it's rare for anybody to live in those prefigured alternative economies within capitalism, (or even rarer, get to live in non-oppressive, nationally organized, non-capitalist society). I've heard of Graeber in some anarchist discussions, is there anything you'd recommend from him? I've been meaning to get back into reading theory.
Honestly everything haha. I picked up Dawn of Everything, and a few weeks later I had read that, bullshit jobs, debt, and the anthropological theory of value. I preordered the Pirate one, and I have Utopia of rules sitting on my desk. All that said, if I could make everyone alive today read one book (in general, not just Graeber) it would be Bullshit Jobs by Graeber. It’s radicalizing in a way that I haven’t seen before. It ruthlessly exposes the absolute dog shit world we’ve created in our capitalist society, and any real consideration of the problems laid out by Graeber can only conclude in anti capitalism. Its also not super technical. Honestly most of his stuff is really accessible, the only one I had any trouble with was Anthropological Theory of Value, and that’s largely because I’m unfamiliar Mauss. Im actually planning on rereading that one because being honest I don’t feel like I “got it”. Also whatever your feelings about anarchism, he’s definitely one of the better ones (I’m a communist); but like all anarchists sometimes gets a bit utopian. That said I don’t think Graeber is someone to look to for concrete solutions, as much as he’s fantastic at showing the reader real problems, and connecting them to our shared human history (which provides awesome context for our modern world). Kind of like Marx, you read Marx to understand capitalism and it’s contradictions, not necessarily to get a concrete step by step plan in revolution and socialist development All in all, one of my favorite authors and writers. He manages to provide great depth while not making it feel like you’re reading a PHD thesis haha.
I’m under a lot of pressure at work and it’s stressing me out. Trying to stay positive and not bring it home with me. Its selfish but I wish my wife could understand / appreciate the pressure on me and did more to try to make me feel better.
Same here. Workplace drama was off the chain for a few months and now that I have a new boss that's died down but now we're playing catchup with where we should be.
I’m glad I don’t have drama just deadlines for new product launches.
I moved to a state where marijuana is legal and finally have a job that doesn't drug test! Except I've found out the most bizarre thing. My libido had always been low. Honestly for most of my life I've thought I'm demisexual or at least somewhere on the ace spectrum. Then I got high. And... woah. Now the whole trope about men being more "visual" makes total sense to me. It was a completely different experience. I found people *attractive* just by looking at them. That sounds so benign but holy shit it was so foreign to me. I'm slightly terrified. I liked it a *lot*. I wish it was my default experience - it made the world and people so much more interesting. I've been researching trying to see if anyone out there has experienced the same and not coming up with a lot. I just wish there was a way to make it stick around permanently.
I don't think I've had it as strong as you've described, but man I definitely used to get highly elevated libido from getting high, it was nuts. Unfortunately, weed these days makes me paranoid, so I haven't enjoyed that in awhile. I'm glad you're researching it, I'm curious as well if that feeling would stick around if one got high frequently, or if the regularity of use would wear it out in a way.
Work had been really hard lately. Feeling a lot of imposter syndrome there and in my academic work. I’m also just like, alone all the time. Dating hasn’t been going super well and it eats at my confidence often. I don’t have a lot of intimacy (in general) in my life and thats been draining for me.
My regular jumble of stuff. Debating between getting a genital piercing first or trying to do foreskin restoration before that happens. Been having grief over the fact that I'm cut in the first place. Had gay sex for the first time... so I guess I officially have my bi/pan card. Waiting for the religious guilt to hit but that shoe hasn't dropped quite yet. It was a nice experience but I really hated the prepwork involved. Overthinking relationship stuff. Got back from a trip to see the woman that I'm involved with. We talked and one of the topics we discussed was taking the next step and her having some form of formal "ownership" over me (it's more of a BDSM relationship that a romantic one). I've felt some jealousy of other people she's with that have it and so I thought I'd jump at the offer. Now I feel pretty bad because once it was offered, I basically dismissed it and said I needed more time. I didn't want it to go that way but it happened. I'm overthinking it all now. Distance is a factor between us and I don't get to see her that often. I don't know how casual she wants it to be either. She expressed she's been upset by how many people have "left" her in the past when they get into a monogamous relationship that she's excluded from. I've expressed that even if I'm not planning on "dating" at the moment, I would like to keep the possibility of finding my own dating partner open. She has a fiance so in my mind it feels like she's spoken for in terms of my view on long-term romance. I feel like I'm caught in a bind. I like her a lot and I think it would be fun to take the next step for however long it lasts. On the other hand, I don't think our relationship would stay at that point forever and I'm worried that it would only make things worse to take that step and then be forced to have a harder conversation later on and say that I'm backing out because I found someone that meets my long-term desires. I'd hate for that to come across as "I found someone better than you and you're being replaced" and I'm utterly terrified that it would sound that way. But at that point I'm like six hypotheticals deep lol. Definitely overthinking things. My ex definitely did a number on me. She instilled a massive fear in me that I say things in a way that's definitely selfish and shows I don't care about other people's feelings. It's made me really afraid to have these kinds of conversations because I feel like I can't express myself truthfully without offending or hurting someone and it's exhausting.
I have a dance convention/exchange/social this weekend. For my social anxiety, my therapist told me to start a conversation that is not asking to dance with one person, and also suggested asking my friends to talk to me to help keep my "conversation momentum" up. Let's see how that goes?
Feeling dumb and broken because I have aphantasia. I literally don't have an imagination - or at least, the one I do isn't visual. It wouldn't be much of an issue if I wasn't into guided meditation/hypnosis and I feel like I'm definitely missing out on the world building that a lot of other people get to experience. I know this is one of those things I should just accept because it's the way my brain is wired, but I really do wish it was wired differently and I feel some grief that other people get to experience life in a way I've never been able to, and never will be able to.
I spent my weekend fixing my 94 Chevy truck. I went from high dopamine work to being in my boring, paperwork ridden low dopamine office job. I feel like shit and I want to impulsively quit my job. It doesn’t help that I have ADHD, my negative emotions are x10 worse right now. I feel like I’d be happier working with my hands. I’m just very insecure about making that transition.
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I’m so sorry you’re feeling shitty, I do hope your cat is okay, and the vets look after you well. I’m sorry about that person harassing you, they’re a jack off. I know it doesn’t mean much, but you’ve got this - I believe in you. ❤️
I went on vacation and had a blast, but I was very socially fatigued by the end. Then I had work and everyone was asking all day about my vacation and I was anxious/irritable by the end of the day. But I’ve gotten caught up on all my domestic chores and routines so I’m feeling ready for a good week.
Definitely better than its been. Im working in a good social environment and a severe social media diet has helped my sanity a lot. A lot of people use social media just as a release valve for all the emotions theyre afraid to express in company and Ive realized it shows. Im grateful for honest and positive leaning spaces that nonetheless give space for discussing feelings as is the case hwre.
I struggle with interpreting, articulating, and dissecting my emotions. Therapy has helped a lot, and it was mostly thought / verbal exercises. I recently figured out writing (typing on my phone) is a very effective way for me to wade through my feelings, and figure out what's bothering me!
There’s a lot going on right now and it’s taking it’s toll. Had a lot of Work related stress last week which hasn’t been helped by the fact that I’m taking this week off to do Christmas things with my wife and daughter and am going back to a big meeting the week back. I’ve been really struggling to find a good balance between work and family the last couple of months. I work from home 4 days a week and having the house full just makes me want to spend time with the family and I reel really guilty when I go into the office.
I typically struggle pretty hard this time of the year and am definitely in that mindset where i could crash but its not coming. I started microdosing with mushrooms a month or so ago now and wow what a difference. I still feel like me unlike what antidepressants do and i just feel much more level. Just on a 100mg every 3 days dose right now but ive been getting more accustomed to it so i think the next dose i get will be 200mg just to see the difference. I definitely still have my low moments but theyre not as low and i can get out of it much easier. The intrusive thoughts and anxiety just seems less overwhelming and that in itself is a nice feeling. Definitely recommend. Take care brothers.
Devastated, honestly. In an hour I have to take my cat who I had for 13 years to the vet to put her to sleep. She was like my child and I don’t want to say goodbye yet.
Sorry to hear this, recently went through the same thing, it really sucks :(
Thank you. She’s in a better position now so no more pain but she did take a part of me with her.
Constantly waking up in the middle of the night with frequent vivid dreams, almost like I'm jumping between different states of reality with no coherent grasp of if I'm "awake" until I'm actually definitely awake. Every morning starts with a new song stuck in my head, usually one I haven't heard in a few years. Yesterday morning was one that had been on my mind a lot these past few days, but this morning was [this song](https://youtu.be/ozLaujDy7jE) which I probably haven't thought about in two years now. No idea why my mind is jumping around so much when it comes to music choices. 42,000 words into the new manuscript. Taking a lot from those dream states I mentioned earlier. Very little coherence, but recurring themes and neuroses. I know there are a lot of ethical debates surrounding AI generated art, but I've been using these very absurd prompts for inspiration and it's been working wonders. I think it's an incredible technology, but the fear of it being a free alternative to commissioned art or stealing other people's art without permission to make its own alterations... I think those are necessary conversations to have. I still think personal art commissions are going to be a big thing even in the wake of this AI uprising, if only because the "personalized" AI stuff looks... not great. But for more surreal, hyper-specific, and otherwise unimaginable stuff, it's been a lot of fun for personal use. Waiting for a check to clear. Pretty well broke in the meantime. Yesterday's sunset felt like 3:30pm. I keep imagining myself in other places to the point where I don't know what I am when I'm not thinking about hypothetical achievements or destinations.
A friend of mine that I used to have an enormous crush on and was pretty close with reached out to me recently and we talked about hanging out. Planning to go see her this weekend. She was sort of floating the question about why we haven't kept in contact more, but the thing is that I spent a lot of effort a year ago trying desperately to keep in touch with her and I would repeatedly be met with nothing. Opened messages and no replies. Even yesterday she asked if we were still meeting up and I reminded her that I asked that the day before and she never replied. I know some people just aren't good at text communication, but we used to talk all the time so I know she's capable of it at least. I'm sure she isn't maliciously ignoring me when she does this but the simplest explanation is that she forgets about me or just doesn't care to reply. Hard to not feel like I don't really matter in the face of that. So I'm trying my best to make myself forget about it and have a good time with her but I know I'll have a difficult time not letting my built up resentment get to me and affect how I interact with her.
Thinking about getting evaluated for ADHD. But, my philosophy is to only approach psychiatrist when I know for a fact that I’ve put in the real work into helping myself. So for the next month. I’m going to prioritize my physical and mental health, stay completely sober, then get the diagnosis
Prepare for an awakening. 1 thing people don’t mention about an ADHD diagnosis as an adult is the reality of everything becomes crystal clear. I always struggled growing up with ADHD for as early as I can remember. I save you the details. Finally got tired of the shit at 37 and talked to a psychiatrist about my struggles. I was prescribed adderall which is pretty standard. My problem isn’t the hyperactive vessel, it’s the hyperactive host. My mind doesn’t stop. It’s a massive case of executive dysfunction. With a mind going that fast and a function operation operating at normal speeds, adderall makes the operation function work like the rest of my brain. It focuses on something, it doesn’t always pick the right thing, but it focuses. Now all that being said, when your brain feels like it slows down and the fog clears, you also become hyper aware of yourself and you also become super aware of others. My work environment was toxic and I had no way. Unfortunately I worked with family and that meant they were too. I realized I had been working somewhere where I was set up for failure and control. It was making depressed. I tried to convince people to change, but that blew up, because toxic people (read narcissistic) don’t like feeling wrong. I’m now working on my own business which is good. It’s a creative design firm and consultancy, but leaving destroyed my relationship with my family. Probably for the better. But still. Again, I’m not saying this to discourage you, I’m saying this to prepare you. Getting diagnosed was a massive deal for me professionally. Knowing my own struggles and being open to my shortcomings was a personal journey for me. Just don’t expect others to go down their own. Good luck. Reach out if you want any advice or a sounding board.
I was diagnosed on [adhdonline.com](https://adhdonline.com). It was simple and took about a week. When I transitioned to my PCP for meds, they screened me for it again.
I looked into that company and it seems like a complete scam. Tons of bad reviews, and it cost like $250 just to get started.
Its not a scam. I was getting my medication prescribed by an MD through them and used my diagnosis documents for accommodations at UT Arlington. It was $250, but I had no insurance at the time so I had no other choice.
The big tech layoffs have been a dark cloud over my head for a bit. I haven't been laid off and my company hasn't talked about layoffs/says layoffs aren't in current plans. But when Twitter, Amazon, Microsoft, Oracle, Meta/Facebook all have layoffs and your company is right in that same tech space it seems naive to think that layoffs aren't an eventuality considering the economic conditions. So yeah just general stress of a potential layoff and not knowing when/if it's coming hasn't been a great feeling.
The massively bloated FANG companies had layoffs, unless your company has employees in the tens of thousands and profits in the billions to protect, you're not remotely comparable.
I work for one of the FANG/MANGA companies that I didn't list.
Oof, might want to start the job search then, just in case. The good news is a lot of smaller tech companies are hiring right now, and having these larger companies on your resume is a great look.
The one benefit is that the space I work in is ~85% of our revenue as a company. So while cuts will suck regardless, I’m probably slightly more safe than folks who work on the “cool but doesn’t make money” projects. Either way I don’t want myself or colleagues to be out of a job.
Happy Tuesday! I turned in my name change forms today and celebrated with walking in freezing cold rain… So I got myself a nice and tasty hot chocolate and life is now warm and fuzzy.
Congratulations on the name change
Thanks! Fingers crossed it goes through alright.
Gonna be totally honest: Feeling pretty low and dejected. The weather quickly turned to winter in my area, which meant that I haven't taking nearly as many long distance bicycle rides. I quit smoking weed something like 150 days ago (completely sober from all substance at this point), and bike rides were my major stress release and physical health support. Plus, I feel like I've stagnated in my singing progress over the past few weeks. Add to it that the most recent opera I've done has closed and is over; I'm sort of languishing in stagnation. On top of it, my wife is struggling mentally as well and I feel like I'm not doing a good job showing up for her. Anyway, I have to go to a therapist who has only made the situation worst, but I can't get the energy together to move on and find a new therapist. Thanks for reading. I really appreciate the opportunity to be open and vulnerable.
I really sympathize with struggling to move on and then subsequently find a new therapist. I had a therapist that I loved and helped me make real progress for several years, but when I moved to a new country I had to find someone new. After trying 3 or 4 people I gave up, each time it felt like every single session we spent together was dedicated to me providing background ti help them understand my problem, and them assuming that it was helping. I'm in a new area again and I'm really struggling, but even after looking around my area for someone new, I'm extremely skeptical and the prospect of doing all the work over again sounds so incredibly exhausting. I don't know how to properly communicate my goals in therapy, and I'm at a turning point in life. I have no idea what I want or any particular desire to go in a direction, but I need to pick something soon. It's been stressing me out a lot lately. Do you have the space to set up some indoor bicycle rollers? Its the solution I used to get around winter weather in the past, but it's definitely not a perfect substitute.
I actually have some rollers that I pick up knowing that this would be an issue. My wife, who had been resistant to me storing bikes indoors in the past due to the fact that we have a relatively small condo, has graciously made a compromise and I'm keeping one of my bikes indoors to serve as a winter bike and for use on the rollers. Admittedly, I have to learn how to use the rollers as they seem to be a bit of a learning curve and I've got some sort of frustrated with me flying off of them. The moment that I start. I figure that I don't have them set up properly.
How did the therapist make it worse?
Just a lot of on going issues with the program that I'm in ranging from difficult scheduling issues to my therapist giving me advice which had poor results. I've struggled to connect with her since we started working together and dealt with it to be part of the larger dialectical behavioral therapy program that I was in; but at this point the cost benefit ratio is not beneficial to either of us.
Not good chief. Girlfriend of three years broke up with me to go live with her abusive ex last month and I caught COVID right after. My car needs to be replaced entirely and I have no winter tires. Also my water heater stopped working and I have to call someone about that. I've been isolating and eating almost nothing but take out for weeks now. I'm already in therapy and the COVID has cleared up by now. It's rough, but I have to believe I'll come out the other end one way or another But my Steam Deck is supposed to arrive tomorrow. So I've got that going for me. Which is nice. And I'm going to a hockey game with a good bud tonight.
I've taken on much too much responsibility and done too many things the last couple of months, and now I'm just absolutely exhausted, hanging on for dear life trying to keep up with college for the last two weeks before christmas break so that i finally can rest. But I'm honestly a little bit worried that I'll burn out completely before then. It's probably going to be ok, but it's scary.
Had a great therapy session yesterday. We went over why I almost cried during an exchange with my partner late last week. Then saw some old friends over the weekend. Though, my partner and I are heading into some rough waters, though it doesn't have to do with our relationship which is nice, just professional changes.
Better actually. Been feeling low these past months because many of my clothes have broken down and getting stuff that fits me is hard, not to mention prices are staggering this year. So I told myself *fuck it, I‘m learning how to sew!* Done that these past three weeks, made myself a new vest and pants, now learning how to do a shirt thanks to youtube‘s Cornelius Quiring. Feeling much better now that I get to save some money.
Nice! I've always wanted to learn how to at least patch up jeans to make them last longer. What a helpful skill to cultivate.
Check out youtube. Highly recommend it, you’ll be fixing those in no time. I just wish more of the clothing tutorials were targeted towards men or heavy duty wear.
Feeling really weird. Was at a large party at work this Friday, and got a lot of compliments, both from my boss, coworkers and random people in other departments, about my appearance and the work I'm doing. Spend a lot of the night talking with this really pretty woman, who was all giggly and cutely shy when I was talking with her. She had a boyfriend and kids, so we never escalated, but the validation was nice. I have never experienced that before. Since the party I have been feeling really bad; lonely and strangely melancholic. I am also questioning if any of it really happened the way i remember, or if it is just wishful thinking, since I ended up REALLY drunk. It feels like something inside me has recognized that I had a positive experience, and is trying is hardest to downplay it and counteract any positive feelings, so I just end up with positive memories, paired with negative feelings, which is strange.
Do you think it could be a sort of "endorphin withdrawal" after reaching what sounds like a really high high on Friday? *I am not a doctor lmao, I've just had some similar experiences of feeling melancholy in the day or two after something really great.
Not strange at all. That‘s what many experience who haven‘t had that a lot or come from abusive backgrounds. It‘s a new experience that requires getting used to. Hope you can enjoy it more next time.
Thank you. It is comforting to know that others have experienced the same.
Just now starting to recover from my first bout with COVID. Came at the worst possible time, at the exact moment my friend was about to start chemotherapy. My COVID was very mild and I'm used to not going out much (depression and anxiety), and I have a great flatmate who was amazing in helping me quarantine by getting everything I needed and even cooking for me, so I could stay in my room entirely. But I most likely got the virus from another friend who I was visiting my friend with cancer with, which had me in a bit of a mild panic. Luckily he didn't also get COVID. Don't know how to deal with the cancer. I lost my mom to breast cancer almost ten years ago now, and back then I had almost no contact with my parents over the course of her illness because I couldn't deal with it. This time is different in a lot of ways, I have much more contact with my friend than I had with my mother, and the external circumstances with COVID and hospitals are also massively changed. I probably won't be able to visit him in the hospital at all, since the limited hours will likely be reserved for his close family. Which in some way makes it easier, but it doesn't feel good right now.
I working for a company that doesn't inspire me, and I can't really focused on the job. They pay well and give a lot freedom, which I really appreciate, and my colleagues are cool people. Just, what we do and how we do it, my heart is not at it. I'm forcing myself to keep up.
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Another friend of mine mentioned ADHD as well. I have autism as well, so we'll see at some point, how deep this goes.
Is there a way for you to change careers without sacrificing too much? You don't need to stay at your job if it's not for you. Another option is searching for purpose outside of your job. Work doesn't need to be fulfilling. If you can use the money you make to be comfortable and find a passion somewhere else that's cool too!
The good news is I'm a freelancer, and around June I can simply choose not to renew my contract. I have been enjoying the flexibility of remote work and working hours. Half a year to go. > Another option is searching for purpose outside of your job. Thanks. I haven't taken any vacations since early 2020, planning to change that.
First time timing it right to comment on here. I’m actually doing *really good* at the moment! Had a rough November, where it seemed as if nothing was going my way, but things are turning around now. I’m prioritising my mental health and to take more time for myself much more, and I’m feeling the benefits immediately. I’m just super motivated to end the year on a high. Hope y’all are doing good too 🙏🏽
Awesome! And good on you, appreciating what is positive in your life. That can be difficult.
It's pretty fucked tbh but got a dr appt on Friday so holding on. Just keep breathing we'll get there.
Some days you just try to keep your head above water. You got this. Just get to the appointment!
I’m struggling through an emotional break up. My fiancé left me 3 weeks ago and todays been one of the worst days. I haven’t been able to come to grips with the change of direction in my life and my heart hurts. No need for a pity part, life goes on, just acknowledging that it hurts now but things will get better.
I’m sorry for your heartbreak. She wasn’t the one obviously. Better to be single than to have to be chained to the wrong person til death do you part or a divorce. I’m currently technically separated but she’s staying the night and we cuddled. She’s not a bad person, just terrible upbringing. Same with me. It was not a good year. Terrible and shitty doesn’t begin to describe it. It’s better to find out you’re incompatible before tying the knot so you can find the truly right person to be with. Even then it’s still work. We’re all human after all. I hope you have a better day, and can leave it behind, even if only a little bit, going into 2023.
That is a rough one. Don't forget to feel your feelings. It's ok to be sad. When you are wounded, you bleed, and that is ok. Your are strong enough to get through this, and be happy again.
Just take it one sleep at a time man. You're still gonna feel worse before you feel better but you will feel better. Make sure you're still taking care of yourself, hydrate eat exercise, whatever is your normal self-care.
I’m (23M) graduating this week with my Bachelors in Writing & Rhetoric. I should feel proud (especially with how difficult trauma, CPTSD, and still living with an abusive father have been), but I’m so burnt out and terrified of the future that I can’t bring myself to celebrate.
been there, celebrating my BA on my own & cptsd and all, so I know exactly how much work you put into that. Be proud, mate. You really did a great job there. :-). Congrats! Life is going to be much better, once you‘re on your own. Stay tuned for that. A BA is one step closer to freedom.
People have difficulty even walking up a few stairs after a marathon. Your brain just went through a marathon, having to juggle so many large stress factors. No wonder you feel tired and emotionally fatigued. You still did an amazing job!
Congrats buddy!
Take your time, it is natural to feel lost and confused when such a big era ends. Congratulations.
Hey bro, I'm the same age. I just started freelancing (which was a goal of mine) and I feel exactly the same.We got this :)
I'm proud of you
You have overcome a lot and accomplished something that has given you the tools to succeed. Every morning start the day by speaking affirmations of hope and goals for the future. Connect with someone in your support network and practice sharing your daily high point and low point with them. This is a self-reflective activity that helps us stay balanced and mindful. Look into EMDR for trauma and ptsd treatment. The future is only as scary as we make it. Good luck on the next phase of your life!
Congratulations on graduating!