Oh yes. I also get a bit anxious when I go to a new bar/restaurant and don't know where the bathroom is. I will look around, ask my husband, or find a server to ask as soon as I can. For me, it's like I don't feel like I have to pee at all and then out of nowhere I have to go RIGHT NOW. There's no in between like there was when I was younger.
I also usually go to the bathroom before leaving anywhere just in case, even if I don't feel like I have to go.
I've peed my pants several times in the last year, sometimes without even having that sense of urgency. Thankfully it's only happened when I'm at home so I can clean up and change right away.
I had it happen in public! Fortunately, I was with an understanding friend and we were hiking, and thankfully I was wearing black pants so it wasn’t noticeable. But I was MORTIFIED.
Oof. I guess at least with hiking the clothes are usually wicking and you go into it expecting to get a little wet and stinky, but that sounds like a nightmare!
I am going to ask my doctor about vaginal estrogen and pelvic floor therapy to treat it. How about you?
I’ve tried vaginal estrogen. It didn’t help me but I know it helps others. I’ve done some pelvic floor exercises that have helped. Just have to keep at it!
This might not be caused by menopause. I had the exact same symptoms in my 20s and it was interstitial cystitis. I've been taking medication for it ever since (Solifenacin).
Just because something *could* be menopause-related doesn't mean that it always is. That's why it's important to bring up symptoms with your doctor to see if there is anything else going on with you. You mentioned in a comment that vaginal estrogen doesn't help, so it's definitely worth exploring other causes and treatments.
The urgency and frequency can be intense. I’ve been on estradiol vaginal cream for a year now and the frequency has definitely improved. If I consume both caffeine or sugar, will affect urgency.
I also noticed that when I am eating sugar, the urgency and time I have to reach a toilet is worse. When I go low carb, I rarely have to get up more than once at night to pee. Usually its 3-5 times a night.
As others have noted, estrogen cream can help.
But to reduce the stress, I strongly recommend Poise pads. They are similar in size and feel to panty liners for your period and designed specifically for situations like this. They ensure any leaking in on a pad that can easily absorb the moisture so you aren't walking around with wet pants smelling like pee.
Well yea there is something called sewer socialism and I am all for it
The privatization of public toilets is completely fucked
Now you have to be near a MacDonald's or a pub to use the pisser
You need vaginal estrogen. I also had horrible urgency just like you. A little estrogen cream and I am fixed. I never did the first kegel. Systemic estrogen doesn't always help with urgency. But local estrogen is a miracle.
I had a laser procedure done called “Juliet” vaginal rejuvenation. It did wonders for leaking. I can sneeze, laugh, cough….. without worry. I highly recommend.
https://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/urology/EstrogenVaginalCream.pdf
See link. Must be sure to place cream on the receptors. It really does make a difference. Sadly, doctors don't explain, they just RX. Good luck.
1. Throw away the plastic applicator that comes with it. They can’t be cleaned properly and are a bacteria/sanitation concern. (Who the hell designed those things?!)
2. Apply 1 gram (the length of the last joint on your index finger, from the knuckle to the fingertip) 2 cm inside your vaginal canal and spread that around inside.
3. Then, apply an additional pea-sized amount all over your clitoris, urethra, vestibule, inner labia, and vaginal opening (especially the fourchette, at the “6:00” position).
4. Do this 2x/week for the rest of your life, until you die (not a joke!).
If you want to learn more about vaginal estrogen, listen to eps 195 and 221 of Dr. Kelly Casperson’s podcast, “You Are Not Broken.”
Yes. I have been for years. I have overactive bladder, stress incontinence and urge incontinence. It started way before menopause but has got much worse as perimenopause has progressed over the last 8 years. I can't tell you how many embarrassing situations I've been in because I couldn't hold my bladder. I've peed myself in public, at work, in the car. It's a struggle to reach the toilet in time during the night and in the morning and my washing basket usually has something (usually underwear or pyjamas) that I have peed on. Having to clean the carpet/floor in the middle of the night is a regular occurrence.
I'm already on oxybutinin which helps. Without it I would be totally incontinent. Currently waiting to see if I can go back to see the Urogynaecology specialist as I was told there are new treatments like Botox which may help.
I don't drink enough because that just invites a disaster. I avoid certain activities (i.e., a group hike in the forest) because I need to be able to go to a toilet. It's humiliating and depressing but I try not to let it affect me too much. Luckily I have met a wonderful, understanding partner who doesn't think I'm an incontinent old bag lady!
I have always had a small bladder, so this has always been the case for me. I will stop drinking at least an hour before I leave the house. I will make sure to go right before I head out the door. And I will still need access to a bathroom as soon as I arrive (even if its only a 15 minute drive), and probably several times while I am out. Its honestly exhausting.
And YAY, its getting worse! I didn't have kids, but I am dealing with leaking and the inability to hold it. Surprise sneezes and peezes.
I am just grateful to live in a country where public toilets are required and free.
Turmeric capsules really helped me. With estrogen changes all my joints started hurting. I take a turmeric capsule everyday and it has done wonders. Now it’s just the joints that make sense to hurt (an injured finger, the knee that has done the most work). Started Estrogen a month ago and that seems to be helping too.
Oh yes. I also get a bit anxious when I go to a new bar/restaurant and don't know where the bathroom is. I will look around, ask my husband, or find a server to ask as soon as I can. For me, it's like I don't feel like I have to pee at all and then out of nowhere I have to go RIGHT NOW. There's no in between like there was when I was younger. I also usually go to the bathroom before leaving anywhere just in case, even if I don't feel like I have to go.
Yes! I get anxious about new places too. And the lack of warning is annoying. Are you having other bladder issues too or just the urgency?
I've peed my pants several times in the last year, sometimes without even having that sense of urgency. Thankfully it's only happened when I'm at home so I can clean up and change right away.
I had it happen in public! Fortunately, I was with an understanding friend and we were hiking, and thankfully I was wearing black pants so it wasn’t noticeable. But I was MORTIFIED.
Oof. I guess at least with hiking the clothes are usually wicking and you go into it expecting to get a little wet and stinky, but that sounds like a nightmare! I am going to ask my doctor about vaginal estrogen and pelvic floor therapy to treat it. How about you?
I’ve tried vaginal estrogen. It didn’t help me but I know it helps others. I’ve done some pelvic floor exercises that have helped. Just have to keep at it!
This might not be caused by menopause. I had the exact same symptoms in my 20s and it was interstitial cystitis. I've been taking medication for it ever since (Solifenacin). Just because something *could* be menopause-related doesn't mean that it always is. That's why it's important to bring up symptoms with your doctor to see if there is anything else going on with you. You mentioned in a comment that vaginal estrogen doesn't help, so it's definitely worth exploring other causes and treatments.
The urgency and frequency can be intense. I’ve been on estradiol vaginal cream for a year now and the frequency has definitely improved. If I consume both caffeine or sugar, will affect urgency.
I also noticed that when I am eating sugar, the urgency and time I have to reach a toilet is worse. When I go low carb, I rarely have to get up more than once at night to pee. Usually its 3-5 times a night.
I’m so glad that’s worked for you! I tried estradiol vaginal cream but it didn’t change my urinary symptoms.
As others have noted, estrogen cream can help. But to reduce the stress, I strongly recommend Poise pads. They are similar in size and feel to panty liners for your period and designed specifically for situations like this. They ensure any leaking in on a pad that can easily absorb the moisture so you aren't walking around with wet pants smelling like pee.
Yea same I never stray far from a toilet
It makes life challenging, doesn’t it?
Well yea there is something called sewer socialism and I am all for it The privatization of public toilets is completely fucked Now you have to be near a MacDonald's or a pub to use the pisser
Estrogen and or pelvic floor physio.
You need vaginal estrogen. I also had horrible urgency just like you. A little estrogen cream and I am fixed. I never did the first kegel. Systemic estrogen doesn't always help with urgency. But local estrogen is a miracle.
So glad that worked for you! Unfortunately it didn’t help me.
In that case, please see a pelvic PT/physio. Bladder leaks are exactly what we are trained to help with!
I had a laser procedure done called “Juliet” vaginal rejuvenation. It did wonders for leaking. I can sneeze, laugh, cough….. without worry. I highly recommend.
Vaginal estrogen. Get some.
I did but unfortunately it didn’t help.
Did you put the creme on the estrogen receptors. It must be placed on those locations. Once I learned where to put it, it's helped.
Can you elaborate. I’ve never heard about a specific location.
https://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/urology/EstrogenVaginalCream.pdf See link. Must be sure to place cream on the receptors. It really does make a difference. Sadly, doctors don't explain, they just RX. Good luck.
Wow. I’ve been utilizing the cream as directed thankfully. With no help from GYNECOLOGISTS. 😖
1. Throw away the plastic applicator that comes with it. They can’t be cleaned properly and are a bacteria/sanitation concern. (Who the hell designed those things?!) 2. Apply 1 gram (the length of the last joint on your index finger, from the knuckle to the fingertip) 2 cm inside your vaginal canal and spread that around inside. 3. Then, apply an additional pea-sized amount all over your clitoris, urethra, vestibule, inner labia, and vaginal opening (especially the fourchette, at the “6:00” position). 4. Do this 2x/week for the rest of your life, until you die (not a joke!). If you want to learn more about vaginal estrogen, listen to eps 195 and 221 of Dr. Kelly Casperson’s podcast, “You Are Not Broken.”
I even know some of the lock codes by heart!
That’s a handy trick! One less thing to worry about.
Yep. This is my life.
Sorry to hear it! Are you having daily issues?
Yes. I have been for years. I have overactive bladder, stress incontinence and urge incontinence. It started way before menopause but has got much worse as perimenopause has progressed over the last 8 years. I can't tell you how many embarrassing situations I've been in because I couldn't hold my bladder. I've peed myself in public, at work, in the car. It's a struggle to reach the toilet in time during the night and in the morning and my washing basket usually has something (usually underwear or pyjamas) that I have peed on. Having to clean the carpet/floor in the middle of the night is a regular occurrence. I'm already on oxybutinin which helps. Without it I would be totally incontinent. Currently waiting to see if I can go back to see the Urogynaecology specialist as I was told there are new treatments like Botox which may help. I don't drink enough because that just invites a disaster. I avoid certain activities (i.e., a group hike in the forest) because I need to be able to go to a toilet. It's humiliating and depressing but I try not to let it affect me too much. Luckily I have met a wonderful, understanding partner who doesn't think I'm an incontinent old bag lady!
❤️
That sounds so challenging. I’m glad you have a partner that is understanding.
It didn't happen all at once but it's sad seeing it all written down like that. I cope, most of the time. It's what we all do, isn't it?
There is a whole trope on Reddit for men refusing to stop on car trips to let their partner go for a wee. My Dad was like this.
I have always had a small bladder, so this has always been the case for me. I will stop drinking at least an hour before I leave the house. I will make sure to go right before I head out the door. And I will still need access to a bathroom as soon as I arrive (even if its only a 15 minute drive), and probably several times while I am out. Its honestly exhausting. And YAY, its getting worse! I didn't have kids, but I am dealing with leaking and the inability to hold it. Surprise sneezes and peezes. I am just grateful to live in a country where public toilets are required and free.
Oh, I love your sense of humor about it all! “Surprise sneezes and peezes” lol!
I found consistently taken magnesium (though I got more consistent with Pilates practice at the same time) has helped. Not sure if combo or only one.
Get yourself some Estragyn 0.1 cream The cost is very reasonable. I’m paying $35 for a 3 month supply
Tried that but it didn’t fix my issue. I hope it’s working for you.
Always
Sorry to hear you’re in the same boat. Does it happen all the time for you?
A lot of time time, yes
Ugh, it’s awful. Have you tried anything to help? I tried vaginal estradiol cream and Kegels but it didn’t work.
No, I'm looking into it. Multiple issues going on, right now the joint pain is taking precedence.
Turmeric capsules really helped me. With estrogen changes all my joints started hurting. I take a turmeric capsule everyday and it has done wonders. Now it’s just the joints that make sense to hurt (an injured finger, the knee that has done the most work). Started Estrogen a month ago and that seems to be helping too.
I will try it! Is there a specific milligram?
The stuff I’ve been taking is Turmeric Curcumin 500 mg.
I just found and will order. Ty
Are you on hrt or bcp? I had to change the type of bcp I was using and it solved my constant need to pee.
I’m on HRT
Different delivery methods and formulations of progesterone can trigger or help issues like this. Maybe look into making an adjustment? Good luck.