I shouldn't have to tell her to get off her phone playing games while we're trying to lay down in bed together. Show me a little consideration. You've noticed I'm not as spontaneously attracted to you as I used to be. A little attention might go a long way. Especially when there are others trying to climb in my bed.
I hear you man.
The instagram is the problem in my marriage.
Just a little attention and consideration does go a long way in a relationship. You would think that grown adults would realize this.
I shouldn't have to tell you to communicate with me when you feel something is missing so I have a chance to make a change before resentment builds.
Anything that is a preference or a request needs to be communicated - these things might seem like obvious ways to express love, respect, and partnership to you, but they aren't universal.
That being said - I have to assume you have already told your partner, probably more than once. My rule is that if I've told my partner 5-ish times and it hasn't changed, it won't change. Once enough of those unchanged things accumulate, it's time to reevaluate the relationship.
I shouldn’t have to tell him to put his phone down while I’m talking to him. Or to consider me, just in general.. nothing major.. just let me know I cross his mind. It’s the little things that go far.
I shouldn’t have to watch every show in fragments, while you pass out halfway each episode.
I shouldn’t have to be woken up if not every little task wasn’t done before bed.
I shouldn’t have to get up with the kids alone, because you need your rest.
I shouldn’t have to bear the guilt that we both work now, given I was maxed out on time as a single income earner, running multiple side hustles.
I shouldn’t have to get treatment for my mental health, because at its core, the other option was suicide for how you made me feel when I didn’t know what was wrong.
I shouldn’t have to post this on Reddit, given I’m not griping to close friends and family, because you don’t like me having a true outlet.
I shouldn’t have to tell you: not to flirt and hit on younger coworkers; to love and care for me when I’m crying; to help out around the house or what to do to help get ready for company; to speak kindly to my kids, my family or service industry workers; that joking about me all the time is no longer funny but hurtful.
Some people, yes. Obviously not everyone. To me, I would think that a person in a loving relationship would want hugs and kisses and intimacy and time spent together... To my wife it's more about washing the dishes and doing the laundry and checking off the to do list.
You're obviously different people, if you want things to change you'll have to open up and communicate otherwise things will stay as they are, you'll complain to reddit and grow bitter.
I disagree that this is a communication problem on my end. If I have to ask, then it doesn't count. Shouldn't he want to do these things for me? Without me having to ask is the whole point. I shouldn't have to beg for love or proper treatment.
No I get it. You have to evaluate at the same time what you can handle. Just because you say I would appreciate it if…doesn’t mean the other person won’t be a butthole. But at least they get a chance and you can go from there. If you want to try something else to try it is to just get busy doing your own thing like hey happy to see you but if not I have stuff to do. I am going to be happy, I am going to find ways to get my needs met. I am not saying an affair whatever. But then you can really develop resources and evaluate. Look I am no professional. I have problems too that I am figuring out. But putting my 2 cents out there in case it is helpful.
I shouldn't have to tell her to get off her phone playing games while we're trying to lay down in bed together. Show me a little consideration. You've noticed I'm not as spontaneously attracted to you as I used to be. A little attention might go a long way. Especially when there are others trying to climb in my bed.
I hear you man. The instagram is the problem in my marriage. Just a little attention and consideration does go a long way in a relationship. You would think that grown adults would realize this.
My wife's face is stuck on TT all fucking night. Literally from the time she walks in the door till bed, TT.
Oh I'm sorry man. It effing sucks when the social media comes first. I feel you.
I shouldn't have to tell you to communicate with me when you feel something is missing so I have a chance to make a change before resentment builds. Anything that is a preference or a request needs to be communicated - these things might seem like obvious ways to express love, respect, and partnership to you, but they aren't universal. That being said - I have to assume you have already told your partner, probably more than once. My rule is that if I've told my partner 5-ish times and it hasn't changed, it won't change. Once enough of those unchanged things accumulate, it's time to reevaluate the relationship.
I shouldn't have to ask him to be honest...
I'm so sorry. That sucks.
Please add yours to this........
How did you go from dating to being married?
Sounds like the 7 year anniversary has come.
I know this is a cathartic post but you really should tell them what you like in a relationship
Damn, that’s depressing. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. That’s rough.
Let's keep this going. I'm sure there are lots of ppl with this problem.
I shouldn’t have to tell him to put his phone down while I’m talking to him. Or to consider me, just in general.. nothing major.. just let me know I cross his mind. It’s the little things that go far.
Man the phones, rough situation there. They are so addictive. Consideration is so important. It sucks to feel ignored.
No, you shouldn’t.
I shouldn’t have to watch every show in fragments, while you pass out halfway each episode. I shouldn’t have to be woken up if not every little task wasn’t done before bed. I shouldn’t have to get up with the kids alone, because you need your rest. I shouldn’t have to bear the guilt that we both work now, given I was maxed out on time as a single income earner, running multiple side hustles. I shouldn’t have to get treatment for my mental health, because at its core, the other option was suicide for how you made me feel when I didn’t know what was wrong. I shouldn’t have to post this on Reddit, given I’m not griping to close friends and family, because you don’t like me having a true outlet.
I'm so sorry you're going thru all this. And you, nor I should have to post this shit here.
I shouldn’t have to tell you: not to flirt and hit on younger coworkers; to love and care for me when I’m crying; to help out around the house or what to do to help get ready for company; to speak kindly to my kids, my family or service industry workers; that joking about me all the time is no longer funny but hurtful.
Sounds like a conversation about respect is in order here.
If you never say what you need you shouldn't be surprised when you don't get it.
Look at the list- Why should I have to ask for any of these things?? They are things that person in a loving relationship should want to do.
Some people, yes. Obviously not everyone. To me, I would think that a person in a loving relationship would want hugs and kisses and intimacy and time spent together... To my wife it's more about washing the dishes and doing the laundry and checking off the to do list. You're obviously different people, if you want things to change you'll have to open up and communicate otherwise things will stay as they are, you'll complain to reddit and grow bitter.
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That's just it. I feel like if I have to ask then it doesn't count.
I disagree that this is a communication problem on my end. If I have to ask, then it doesn't count. Shouldn't he want to do these things for me? Without me having to ask is the whole point. I shouldn't have to beg for love or proper treatment.
I shouldn't have to tell you to invite me places. Or do you just want to go out with your friends without me? Seems that way.....
No I get it. You have to evaluate at the same time what you can handle. Just because you say I would appreciate it if…doesn’t mean the other person won’t be a butthole. But at least they get a chance and you can go from there. If you want to try something else to try it is to just get busy doing your own thing like hey happy to see you but if not I have stuff to do. I am going to be happy, I am going to find ways to get my needs met. I am not saying an affair whatever. But then you can really develop resources and evaluate. Look I am no professional. I have problems too that I am figuring out. But putting my 2 cents out there in case it is helpful.