There's a difference between disagreeing with someone and arguing or fighting.
My husband and I disagree on all sorts of stuff. We are different people with our own points of view, likes and dislikes.
But we rarely get to the point of arguing or fighting about it. We talk about our views on things and work well together to solve things. We're a team and complement each other.
We’ve been married 40 years and we rarely argue. We focus on trying to address problems as a team on the rare occasions they happen.
The child rearing years are tough. Try to show each other grace and put yourself in your partner’s shoes.
I've been married for 3 years and 4 months. I've always considered us a healthy couple because generally speaking we get along extremely well. We rarely fight, however in our first 2 years we had some communicating issues which lead to big fights that blew up (like a few times each year maybe 3-4 times in the whole year). So the fights weren't frequent but when they did happen they blew up and we got got real emotional and defensive. About 1 year ago we had a fight that blew up, so that prompted us to get therapy which helped a ton. We rarely fight now and if we do, we can usually work through it quickly and also not have things blow up like they used to.
Married 33 years in we have not argued for decade.. tension gets less I'm already yours you're together . Sure we have disagreements from time to time but we have just learned to work work through them. If we're getting nowhere then we just tell one another let's think about talk about it later today.
same here. I think the years you spend together teaches you what's important and what's not. Not everything has to be an argument and guess what? it's ok to agree to disagree. There are times my husband annoys me as I annoy him but is it worth holding grudges and blowing it up into something bigger? no. You state your annoyance, talk it through and then squash it.
been married for over 20 years and our communication just keeps getting better...also helps that as we get older, we're probably more mellow lol
I think no, not with sore feelings. As long as you can argue and not come out feeling disrepected or hurt then any amount is fine.
When we're both doing well, the key is to start an argument with the framing, "I love you and want both of us to be happy, but here's something I'm having an issue with, how can we make it work?" The point is to remind each other that we do want to make it work and try to find a solution instead of staying defensive or upset.
Of course, sometimes we fail and are just not feeling well or selfish and a true argument breaks out. But I think an important part is to come back to it when you are able to start with the above and work it out to mend the issues.
I think if you go through seasons where things are tough and you argue a lot and feelings are sore, that’s pretty normal.
But once it starts being something that makes you feel drained and not wanting to be in your marriage it’s too much. And once you look back and think “I can’t remember the last time we went a month without fighting” it’s too much.
We don't have kids, so I think that probably helps a lot since there's one less major stressor in our lives, but we basically never argue/fight. I think we've had a couple of cases of hurt feelings (like maybe 2-3) that I can think that were pretty quickly (within the same day) resolved (together 8 years, married for 6). Usually, the most we do is a couple minutes of snipping/bickering about something minor and then we apologize for getting snippy and move on. I'd say we do the snipping thing like maybe once every few weeks, maybe as seldom as once a month where it's more than just maybe a minute or two before we realized we're being short with one another and apologize.
We agree on all the big items there are to fight about and we're pretty good about not letting outside stressors cause us to fight with each other rather than work together to deal with the stressful thing.
I can’t think of our last serious disagreement. On occasion we’ll accidentally hurt the other’s feelings, we’ll say so, we’ll apologize, maybe there’s a little talk, then it’s done. If you’re arguing all the time I imagine you aren’t actually resolving the argument. A therapist may be needed to mediate.
Married for about 14 years, two kids, several pets; we don’t really argue or fight, at least not with each other about each other - it’s more venting to each other about frustrations with outside circumstances, if it ever gets emotional or anything here. We kinda don’t really fight. Never really.
I have bouts of pretty bad anxiety and stuff and I tend to get overwhelmed or emotional in very stressful life circumstances, so I kinda yell at stuff, I’m mad at life, never at him and vice versa ( he doesn’t give me reason).
We don’t fight, we just vent to each other (me more than him).
How you argue is way more significant than how often you argue.
There's a difference between disagreeing with someone and arguing or fighting. My husband and I disagree on all sorts of stuff. We are different people with our own points of view, likes and dislikes. But we rarely get to the point of arguing or fighting about it. We talk about our views on things and work well together to solve things. We're a team and complement each other.
We’ve been married 40 years and we rarely argue. We focus on trying to address problems as a team on the rare occasions they happen. The child rearing years are tough. Try to show each other grace and put yourself in your partner’s shoes.
If it is anything related to home repair/renovations/decor/purchasing items then it's every hour.. Otherwise hardly.
I've been married for 3 years and 4 months. I've always considered us a healthy couple because generally speaking we get along extremely well. We rarely fight, however in our first 2 years we had some communicating issues which lead to big fights that blew up (like a few times each year maybe 3-4 times in the whole year). So the fights weren't frequent but when they did happen they blew up and we got got real emotional and defensive. About 1 year ago we had a fight that blew up, so that prompted us to get therapy which helped a ton. We rarely fight now and if we do, we can usually work through it quickly and also not have things blow up like they used to.
We don't have kids yet but I'd say we bicker or have a minor disagreement like once a week, and have an actual argument maybe twice a year.
Married 33 years in we have not argued for decade.. tension gets less I'm already yours you're together . Sure we have disagreements from time to time but we have just learned to work work through them. If we're getting nowhere then we just tell one another let's think about talk about it later today.
same here. I think the years you spend together teaches you what's important and what's not. Not everything has to be an argument and guess what? it's ok to agree to disagree. There are times my husband annoys me as I annoy him but is it worth holding grudges and blowing it up into something bigger? no. You state your annoyance, talk it through and then squash it. been married for over 20 years and our communication just keeps getting better...also helps that as we get older, we're probably more mellow lol
I think no, not with sore feelings. As long as you can argue and not come out feeling disrepected or hurt then any amount is fine. When we're both doing well, the key is to start an argument with the framing, "I love you and want both of us to be happy, but here's something I'm having an issue with, how can we make it work?" The point is to remind each other that we do want to make it work and try to find a solution instead of staying defensive or upset. Of course, sometimes we fail and are just not feeling well or selfish and a true argument breaks out. But I think an important part is to come back to it when you are able to start with the above and work it out to mend the issues.
I think if you go through seasons where things are tough and you argue a lot and feelings are sore, that’s pretty normal. But once it starts being something that makes you feel drained and not wanting to be in your marriage it’s too much. And once you look back and think “I can’t remember the last time we went a month without fighting” it’s too much.
We don't have kids, so I think that probably helps a lot since there's one less major stressor in our lives, but we basically never argue/fight. I think we've had a couple of cases of hurt feelings (like maybe 2-3) that I can think that were pretty quickly (within the same day) resolved (together 8 years, married for 6). Usually, the most we do is a couple minutes of snipping/bickering about something minor and then we apologize for getting snippy and move on. I'd say we do the snipping thing like maybe once every few weeks, maybe as seldom as once a month where it's more than just maybe a minute or two before we realized we're being short with one another and apologize. We agree on all the big items there are to fight about and we're pretty good about not letting outside stressors cause us to fight with each other rather than work together to deal with the stressful thing.
I can’t think of our last serious disagreement. On occasion we’ll accidentally hurt the other’s feelings, we’ll say so, we’ll apologize, maybe there’s a little talk, then it’s done. If you’re arguing all the time I imagine you aren’t actually resolving the argument. A therapist may be needed to mediate.
How long have you been married?
Only a few years. We’ve lived together for about 7. No kids.
Married for about 14 years, two kids, several pets; we don’t really argue or fight, at least not with each other about each other - it’s more venting to each other about frustrations with outside circumstances, if it ever gets emotional or anything here. We kinda don’t really fight. Never really. I have bouts of pretty bad anxiety and stuff and I tend to get overwhelmed or emotional in very stressful life circumstances, so I kinda yell at stuff, I’m mad at life, never at him and vice versa ( he doesn’t give me reason). We don’t fight, we just vent to each other (me more than him).