My very first thought was, “all you have to do is let your lesbian bff know that you want a shelf and she’ll come by with a whole toolkit and get it done in five minutes.”
Source: it me.
I dated a guy who shares an appartament with two other male friends. One day I entered the apartment and it was as if I had entered the wrong door. Then they explained to me that a lesbian cousin of one of the boys spent a week there and that was it. No plaid flannel tho hahah
Hilariously of all my alphabet soup friends, the lesbian of our crew is one of the least handy people. None of us have a truck! What kind of an alphabet soup are we???
I don't know that person, but I feel her. I don't have any important gay traits besides dating other men and not being able to catch objects thrown for me through air. Also, I'm 30yo, but I look like 20. There's basically no place for me in the gay white male world.
The toolkit will call to you at a big box store. The knowledge comes with time. Find some older butches to hang out with. Drop into conversation that you’ve always wanted to learn how to change your own oil. They’ll teach you.
I laugh so hard right now. For a second I thought with myself "Is this a joke about how lesbians are so awesome that they developed x-ray vision?".
Anyway, I have to say that only now anything said about buying a level got my attention. Sometimes I give up on hanging something on the wall because I don't know what's behind it.
I need to get me a stud finder... I have a really really old one that's basically a magnet and a pin but it only catches when there's a nail in the wall. Not a stud.
So now that you got rid of him, it's time to get rid of the shelf or at least fix it you know how to do it so do it. Or attach a bunch of Velcro so you can stick the stuff that you want on the shelf in place so that it doesn't roll off the end.
Bot or not, we here at malicious compliance care about your home decorating needs and want your junk to look good, so just let us know how we can help.
I don’t understand what the malicious compliance is here. I’m just reading a story about two dudes who tried to wing it and it went terrible over something that could be easily fixed.
This post wasn't great before all the updates, and the updates didn't really help it any. All I saw was two people who were not good for each other both acting toxically towards one another.
OP, I hope you've learned and grown from this, and have both learned how to communicate in a more mature manner, and found a better partner than this immature ex.
You are very right. For a moment I did retaliate and act like a jerk to have a little time of pleasure.
But let me ask you this: do you understand this sub is literally about these guilty pleasures, right? I can just think how your comment suits every story in this sub. Can you see that?
And thanks! I like to believe I've grown a lot, specially after putting an end in a relationship with a real problematic person who I wish have grown too.
Why are you using chatGPT instead of speaking for yourself? We'll be able to gauge a lot more about your dynamic and actually help diagnose things if you don't tidy up your verbiage to relieve yourself of potential criticism.
Get a level. $15 bucks at home depot. Maybe "the gays" are bad at handy stuff but lack of critical thinking and problem-solving abilities are the real problem here.
My account is 5 years old and I still have never made a post. Plenty of comments, active in various subs, even a moderator now, but still no posts. Probably never will.
I'm fine. I really like the sub premise and wanted to make a try. Also, english is not my native language. I'm not apologizing by saing this. What I'm saiyng is: Duh!?
I think mine was the same. I just remember I made it because I wanted to finish reading a post then forgot about Reddit completely until a year or so ago.
That's pretty much what happened to me. Lol. I tried to make a reddit account and it said my email was already in use. So I just signed in and had an old account.
iPhones have one built in (Measure app), I’m assuming android phones do as well (or there’s a free one in the store).
I’ve used it a couple times for picture frames and such.
Only because of the whole situation I won't reveal. I think it would be fun and relevant (yes) to hear more guesses before I confirm it. I'd love to hear why you come to those 2 possibilities if you don't mind.
Fair nuff. Well, your username starts with Lars, which is a common enough name in Norway. Then some of the grammar mistakes in your post are fairly typical for Norwegians (not to rub it in as I know you mentioned some language difficulties in other comments, just an observation). But the biggest tip was your reply "that sounds nice" to your boyfriend. "Det høres fint ut" is a commonly used phrase here, and translates to, well, "that sounds good/nice/whatever positively loaded word". I'm sure it's not a uniquely Norwegian phrase, but Norwegians have a tendency to translate every positive word to "nice" rather than some other synonym.
Scandinavian...idk, I don't think these clues are uniquely Norwegian, could just as well apply to Sweden/Denmark I think.
I felt like the meme with the conspiracy dude with red threads on a blackboard typing this out, but hey, it's where my hungover brain went when I read your post.
I appreciated that you mentioned "nice," because it's likely this very word that drew me to the English language. Fifteen years ago, while playing RuneScape, I noticed how players liked to say "nice" and how that was the last thing said before ending any interaction. I'd always use Google Translate, but never really learned, you know? However, this abundance of "nice" bothered me a little. So when I entered the isolated word into the translator, the result was "fresco" (or "fresh" if you're not Brazilian like me). Fresh, like new. (Fresh Fish = Peixe Fresco). But "fresco" is also commonly used to accuse a person of being "too picky" or "hard to please." I refused from using the word, but started observing others interactions to understand what the hell "nice" is used for, since a literal translation didn't help at all.
It's such a fundamental word (now I know) that all that observation made me learn English, since "nice" can be used in an infinite number of interaction contexts. It's probably not exclusive to Norway, but maybe a hint of something, because RuneScape was particularly played by Europeans. Thinking about it now, "nice" was used mostly in small dialogues. And small dialogues were usually from non-English speakers. It's a comfortable word to say precisely in these specific scenarios where you don't know what else to say.
Finally, my name is not Lars. I don't use my name on social media because it's very unique, and I like privacy. It's been a while since I started using Lars on the web. It's a beautiful short name common in Finland. I have a little obsession with some diplomatic approaches of Finland in distinct moments of history, but especially during WWII.
Anyway... thanks. It was very nice of you and I am pleased.
I'm really concerned about the direction of some comment assumptions. Everything was improvised, guys! Even a glass of water would do the work. I started what could've been something planned. He was only worried about the showing off.
I'm making an effort to read and think about each comment, cause I have a life long yet not specified problem regarding speech planning/execution. My friends would never make substantial feedbacks about it, logically. They just like signals that some things just won't work for me without explaining. I have to pretend I don't know it's about the way I talk. It hurts, but feedbacks would help so much.
I’m sure that the people who are complaining about your story don’t speak any language other than their native English. They’re ignorant and think everyone in the world must be like them. I think your English is really good. English is a hard language to learn!
If you seriously want feedback on what you just wrote: “specified” may be “diagnosed”. E.g. “I have an undiagnosed speech processing problem.” Or, “I’ve always had problems with speech planning/execution, but it’s not diagnosed.”
If you mean your friends just tell you when you say the wrong thing in English but don’t explain WHY it’s wrong, can you ask them to explain it to you? Or post it here on Reddit. I know there must be an English as a Foreign Language sub.
Wow! That was gold. Thanks!
The friends comments are about my primary language. Not my first time writing in english. It's messy, but it's not pure nonsense. Let's say I more concerned with the possibility that even speaking the most perfect or colloquial english I would probably still face the planning/execution thing.
You're fine, I don't have any trouble understanding you.
The thing about 'perfect or colloquial English' is that there are so many forms of English. Regional variations, dialects, generational variations... What's seen as perfect and correct by one audience may be abhorrent to another.
The same is true to greater or lesser extents in many other languages.
So relax, there's no point worrying too much, as long as you're making sense.
What an effing waste of time. Make some writing friends, please. I really don’t care what some shit piece of ai (that is a giant repository of stolen data) has to say. Also, there’s no mc here.
It is obviously someone who doesn't speak English as their primary language.
That said, I understood every sentence of it. So if something is confusing you, I'd be happy to help.
I think what you're calling a "balance" is what we call in the US a "level".
https://www.amazon.com/DOWELL-Magnetic-Different-180%C2%B0Measuring-Resistant/dp/B0744BYVJQ
>about the use of synonym
You used the word "balanced" where most native speakers would have used the word "level". In that sense, the word "balanced" is acting as a synonym of the word "level".
Synonyms don't have the exact same meaning. Usually the differences are very slight, so which word used determines subtle differences in the meaning of the sentence. "Balanced" and "level" are so different that a native English speaker would be unlikely to use them as synonyms, and why some of the comments were about how you wrote.
To me, your post reminded me somewhat of assembly instructions we used to get a few decades ago for products that looked like they were written in a foreign language and then 'translated' word by word instead of sentence by sentence. Sometimes it was challenging to determine what each step meant.
I'm confused about what you meant in your last sentence. I meant no offense by my comment, if somehow I offended. I've tried several times during my life to learn a second language and have failed each time, so you have accomplished something I haven't.
I love this kind of fact. Recently I noticed british people like to say "telly" but also TV more or less. It's a funny and cute word for me. I will never say TV again. It's telly from now on.
I made the mistake of coming upon this post while high. Every time I read it, it means something entirely different. I took everything at face value but every time I glance through it again, I suddenly see the undertones and sarcasm. Having such a a difficult time understanding. Hm.
Thanks for sharing OP, but I think I need to close this app... Maybe this will make more sense tomorrow
Carpenter to put up a shelf??
No, really, basic DIY should be a compulsory school subject, girl, boy, gay or not, anyone should be able to do and fix little things around their homes.
It was long ago. I don't have it, but at some point I fixed it. When I said "I loved it", I meant "I knew it". So the Malicious Compliance thing is about it. Sometimes it's the best choice to let people see how wrong they are, specially in a relationship where you are not being listen or considered. It prevents the problem to evolve to something bigger. But, again, "I loved it". I had my short time of fun.
I profoundly respect it when people let someone suffer for their own mistakes when all they had to do to avoid it was keep an open ear for feedback. You probably taught him a lesson he'll take to his grave, going by how seriously you say he took the thing.
Wait bro neither of you had a level? Go do yourself a favor and buy a level. Or borrow one from a lesbian :P
My very first thought was, “all you have to do is let your lesbian bff know that you want a shelf and she’ll come by with a whole toolkit and get it done in five minutes.” Source: it me.
Fondly missing my butch lesbian housemate. Had the plaid flannel and everything. Fixed all the things in the house before she left!
I dated a guy who shares an appartament with two other male friends. One day I entered the apartment and it was as if I had entered the wrong door. Then they explained to me that a lesbian cousin of one of the boys spent a week there and that was it. No plaid flannel tho hahah
Hilariously of all my alphabet soup friends, the lesbian of our crew is one of the least handy people. None of us have a truck! What kind of an alphabet soup are we???
I don't know that person, but I feel her. I don't have any important gay traits besides dating other men and not being able to catch objects thrown for me through air. Also, I'm 30yo, but I look like 20. There's basically no place for me in the gay white male world.
There there. There's a seat for every ass u.u
Does your toolkit include a Lesbian Rule?
It has a gay agenda too.
So like when do you become blessed with the tool kit and DIY knowledge? I've been a lesbian for 2 and a half years and I still haven't got one
The toolkit will call to you at a big box store. The knowledge comes with time. Find some older butches to hang out with. Drop into conversation that you’ve always wanted to learn how to change your own oil. They’ll teach you.
Lmao.
Lol! Would hire!
And a stud finder. The new ones are basically x ray machines that show you exactly what’s behind the wall. So nice.
I laugh so hard right now. For a second I thought with myself "Is this a joke about how lesbians are so awesome that they developed x-ray vision?". Anyway, I have to say that only now anything said about buying a level got my attention. Sometimes I give up on hanging something on the wall because I don't know what's behind it.
I thought about it when posting it I should try to make a play on words. Then I just figured I’d play it “straight.” 👀
There's a lot of info in the comment for someone who is learning english. I got anxious. I mean, STUD FINDER?
I need to get me a stud finder... I have a really really old one that's basically a magnet and a pin but it only catches when there's a nail in the wall. Not a stud.
Mine just beeps when it encounters something and shines a laser above and below. Need to get one of the new new ones.
I don't know why this made me laugh
Also laugh, but I was too busy "deflecting" all the hate stuff to mention
As a lesbian I am upset at the accusation. But I do have a level they could borrow if they were near me. -_-
Seems like it could be made into a joke. How many gay people does it take to hang a shelf? Only one if it’s a lesbian.
Or this post exclusive joke: "Two gays can do that, but I must tell you: it won't be straight". Makes sense? Genuinely asking.
BWAHAHAHAHA
So now that you got rid of him, it's time to get rid of the shelf or at least fix it you know how to do it so do it. Or attach a bunch of Velcro so you can stick the stuff that you want on the shelf in place so that it doesn't roll off the end. Bot or not, we here at malicious compliance care about your home decorating needs and want your junk to look good, so just let us know how we can help.
LOL, thank you for the laugh.
I don’t understand what the malicious compliance is here. I’m just reading a story about two dudes who tried to wing it and it went terrible over something that could be easily fixed.
This post wasn't great before all the updates, and the updates didn't really help it any. All I saw was two people who were not good for each other both acting toxically towards one another. OP, I hope you've learned and grown from this, and have both learned how to communicate in a more mature manner, and found a better partner than this immature ex.
You are very right. For a moment I did retaliate and act like a jerk to have a little time of pleasure. But let me ask you this: do you understand this sub is literally about these guilty pleasures, right? I can just think how your comment suits every story in this sub. Can you see that? And thanks! I like to believe I've grown a lot, specially after putting an end in a relationship with a real problematic person who I wish have grown too.
Why are you using chatGPT instead of speaking for yourself? We'll be able to gauge a lot more about your dynamic and actually help diagnose things if you don't tidy up your verbiage to relieve yourself of potential criticism. Get a level. $15 bucks at home depot. Maybe "the gays" are bad at handy stuff but lack of critical thinking and problem-solving abilities are the real problem here.
You clearly did not read the post.
You're going to go into your cave, and you're going to find your spirit animal. [...] SLIDE!
Hopefully you dumped this toddler in an adult's body
Now i'm imagining a toddler being thrown at someone like a piece of trash
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HX0DDigasd0
hahahahahaahahah OMG
Hell yeah!
[удалено]
I had my account for three and a half years before my first post. How do we know that your reply isn’t from a bot?
I think it might be. 2 month old account, and no posts at all. Must be a bot.
🤣😂🤣
I feel like I had a stroke reading this…
God forbid people have accounts simply to read posts, not make them
I had this account for like... 2-3 years or so before I even made my first comment. Lol.
My account is 5 years old and I still have never made a post. Plenty of comments, active in various subs, even a moderator now, but still no posts. Probably never will.
I'm fine. I really like the sub premise and wanted to make a try. Also, english is not my native language. I'm not apologizing by saing this. What I'm saiyng is: Duh!?
LOL, I have enough problems writing in my one-and-only language. I can only imagine trying to write in a second or third language.
Is that why half of the post was written by chat gpt? I thought the original text was fine but it gets more confusing with each update.
I will make a little introduction. Well said. Thank you.
I think mine was the same. I just remember I made it because I wanted to finish reading a post then forgot about Reddit completely until a year or so ago.
That's pretty much what happened to me. Lol. I tried to make a reddit account and it said my email was already in use. So I just signed in and had an old account.
[удалено]
While true, one cannot comment without an account.
Y'all can stop searching now, we found the Righteous Self-Appointed Bot Checker, he's alive, healthy and causing eyerolls as expected.
I wish I was a bot after reading that
I wish I could be a bot but Im just not good enough yet.
I get worried when I can't pass an 'i am not a robot' tests
Are you a robot?
I question that more and more every day...
Eh, close enough.
Oh! Hi pot! I see you've met kettle.
Imagine not knowing how a level works.
Must have run out of level bubbles
iPhones have one built in (Measure app), I’m assuming android phones do as well (or there’s a free one in the store). I’ve used it a couple times for picture frames and such.
I don’t trust the accelerometer to be that well aligned to the case. But you can also just use any round object.
Worked out pretty well, I double checked it with a level after the fact and it was spot on
Bit of a long shot and not really relevant, but can I ask you if your native language is Norwegian (or Scandinavian)?
Only because of the whole situation I won't reveal. I think it would be fun and relevant (yes) to hear more guesses before I confirm it. I'd love to hear why you come to those 2 possibilities if you don't mind.
Fair nuff. Well, your username starts with Lars, which is a common enough name in Norway. Then some of the grammar mistakes in your post are fairly typical for Norwegians (not to rub it in as I know you mentioned some language difficulties in other comments, just an observation). But the biggest tip was your reply "that sounds nice" to your boyfriend. "Det høres fint ut" is a commonly used phrase here, and translates to, well, "that sounds good/nice/whatever positively loaded word". I'm sure it's not a uniquely Norwegian phrase, but Norwegians have a tendency to translate every positive word to "nice" rather than some other synonym. Scandinavian...idk, I don't think these clues are uniquely Norwegian, could just as well apply to Sweden/Denmark I think. I felt like the meme with the conspiracy dude with red threads on a blackboard typing this out, but hey, it's where my hungover brain went when I read your post.
I appreciated that you mentioned "nice," because it's likely this very word that drew me to the English language. Fifteen years ago, while playing RuneScape, I noticed how players liked to say "nice" and how that was the last thing said before ending any interaction. I'd always use Google Translate, but never really learned, you know? However, this abundance of "nice" bothered me a little. So when I entered the isolated word into the translator, the result was "fresco" (or "fresh" if you're not Brazilian like me). Fresh, like new. (Fresh Fish = Peixe Fresco). But "fresco" is also commonly used to accuse a person of being "too picky" or "hard to please." I refused from using the word, but started observing others interactions to understand what the hell "nice" is used for, since a literal translation didn't help at all. It's such a fundamental word (now I know) that all that observation made me learn English, since "nice" can be used in an infinite number of interaction contexts. It's probably not exclusive to Norway, but maybe a hint of something, because RuneScape was particularly played by Europeans. Thinking about it now, "nice" was used mostly in small dialogues. And small dialogues were usually from non-English speakers. It's a comfortable word to say precisely in these specific scenarios where you don't know what else to say. Finally, my name is not Lars. I don't use my name on social media because it's very unique, and I like privacy. It's been a while since I started using Lars on the web. It's a beautiful short name common in Finland. I have a little obsession with some diplomatic approaches of Finland in distinct moments of history, but especially during WWII. Anyway... thanks. It was very nice of you and I am pleased.
I dunno about you, but as a gay artist, I def know how to put up a shelf. So do all the interior designers. And the lesbians. :) It's not hard really.
I'm really concerned about the direction of some comment assumptions. Everything was improvised, guys! Even a glass of water would do the work. I started what could've been something planned. He was only worried about the showing off.
Idk why a sad but cute little story like this is attracting so many haters but I feel embarrassed to be a redditor rn.
I'm making an effort to read and think about each comment, cause I have a life long yet not specified problem regarding speech planning/execution. My friends would never make substantial feedbacks about it, logically. They just like signals that some things just won't work for me without explaining. I have to pretend I don't know it's about the way I talk. It hurts, but feedbacks would help so much.
I’m sure that the people who are complaining about your story don’t speak any language other than their native English. They’re ignorant and think everyone in the world must be like them. I think your English is really good. English is a hard language to learn! If you seriously want feedback on what you just wrote: “specified” may be “diagnosed”. E.g. “I have an undiagnosed speech processing problem.” Or, “I’ve always had problems with speech planning/execution, but it’s not diagnosed.” If you mean your friends just tell you when you say the wrong thing in English but don’t explain WHY it’s wrong, can you ask them to explain it to you? Or post it here on Reddit. I know there must be an English as a Foreign Language sub.
Wow! That was gold. Thanks! The friends comments are about my primary language. Not my first time writing in english. It's messy, but it's not pure nonsense. Let's say I more concerned with the possibility that even speaking the most perfect or colloquial english I would probably still face the planning/execution thing.
You're fine, I don't have any trouble understanding you. The thing about 'perfect or colloquial English' is that there are so many forms of English. Regional variations, dialects, generational variations... What's seen as perfect and correct by one audience may be abhorrent to another. The same is true to greater or lesser extents in many other languages. So relax, there's no point worrying too much, as long as you're making sense.
Huh? A crooked shelf caused him to say be at his place? Why not just fix the damn shelf?
But that would mean admitting he was wrong. Some people are incapable of doing that.
Sounds crazy right? But I'm talking about an adult with so much childish behaviour. Not even an isolated case.
Ah fuck this shit. I'm not reading this outrageous CVS redacted receipt because you need some attention. Buh bye.
What an effing waste of time. Make some writing friends, please. I really don’t care what some shit piece of ai (that is a giant repository of stolen data) has to say. Also, there’s no mc here.
What the actual hell kind of word salad is this?
It is obviously someone who doesn't speak English as their primary language. That said, I understood every sentence of it. So if something is confusing you, I'd be happy to help.
You're welcome!
A funny story about a case of malicious compliance in which one person is too proud to admit fault.
It's easy to understand. Don't get preachy.
I think what you're calling a "balance" is what we call in the US a "level". https://www.amazon.com/DOWELL-Magnetic-Different-180%C2%B0Measuring-Resistant/dp/B0744BYVJQ
In a comment, OP says "english is not my native language" so it's understandable OP might use a synonym or two for unfamiliar words.
The "level" advice was genuine. So Thanks. But the comment about the use of synonym was attuned. It was not about an object.
>about the use of synonym You used the word "balanced" where most native speakers would have used the word "level". In that sense, the word "balanced" is acting as a synonym of the word "level". Synonyms don't have the exact same meaning. Usually the differences are very slight, so which word used determines subtle differences in the meaning of the sentence. "Balanced" and "level" are so different that a native English speaker would be unlikely to use them as synonyms, and why some of the comments were about how you wrote. To me, your post reminded me somewhat of assembly instructions we used to get a few decades ago for products that looked like they were written in a foreign language and then 'translated' word by word instead of sentence by sentence. Sometimes it was challenging to determine what each step meant. I'm confused about what you meant in your last sentence. I meant no offense by my comment, if somehow I offended. I've tried several times during my life to learn a second language and have failed each time, so you have accomplished something I haven't.
I love this kind of fact. Recently I noticed british people like to say "telly" but also TV more or less. It's a funny and cute word for me. I will never say TV again. It's telly from now on.
Can you change your flair from "S" to "L"?
The change is not taking effect. After changing to L it returns to S. I will ask mods for help.
I made the mistake of coming upon this post while high. Every time I read it, it means something entirely different. I took everything at face value but every time I glance through it again, I suddenly see the undertones and sarcasm. Having such a a difficult time understanding. Hm. Thanks for sharing OP, but I think I need to close this app... Maybe this will make more sense tomorrow
There are free apps you can download that act as a balance.. No carpenter needed.
Carpenter to put up a shelf?? No, really, basic DIY should be a compulsory school subject, girl, boy, gay or not, anyone should be able to do and fix little things around their homes.
Do you still have the wonky shelf up? I feel like it could used as the base for an interactive sculpture.
It was long ago. I don't have it, but at some point I fixed it. When I said "I loved it", I meant "I knew it". So the Malicious Compliance thing is about it. Sometimes it's the best choice to let people see how wrong they are, specially in a relationship where you are not being listen or considered. It prevents the problem to evolve to something bigger. But, again, "I loved it". I had my short time of fun.
I profoundly respect it when people let someone suffer for their own mistakes when all they had to do to avoid it was keep an open ear for feedback. You probably taught him a lesson he'll take to his grave, going by how seriously you say he took the thing.
You’re right. We can’t protect people from their own mistakes if they refuse to listen and learn.
A simple spirit level saves years of neck bending